I want to obsess

But have nothing to obsess about. BLEH. It's just a waiting game and it SUCKS!

Don't want all my sucky talk to come off like I'm not happy. I am THRILLED... it's just, I'm still scared still.
I just keep remembering SiL and DH's friend's wife and their losses.
Both of them had 6w appointments. Both of them thought everything was ok... then... everything wasn't.
SiL started spotting, I'm not sure when.. and they found the baby didn't have a hb any longer.
The friend's wife went in for a 8 or 9w scan and they found that the baby hadn't grown past 6-7w.

Having another chemical and the possibility of going what they went through, nevermind later miscarriages still just scares the crap out of me and I wish there was more I could do to make this bean stick.

I'm in obsess mode right now and have been looking at everything baby related.
Just looked at diaper bags... I definitely want a girly one this time. One that will double as a purse.
I REALLY like the petunia picklebottom bags but good googly moogly are they expensive.
I do have this hobo? type of bag SiL gave me that I could always use or I could just buy a cute tote bag. Doesn't have to be anything fancy I guess... and a tote bag would hold a lot.... hmmm, I'll have to look in to that more heh.

I know I keep looking at all of this stuff when anything could happen. It helps though. It helps to keep me optimistic and allows me to daydream about having another LO.

So curious to find out how Zoe is going to be. She's kind of stand off-ish with her cousin when he was a lot smaller. She might be better with him now that he's sitting up. Don't know what she'll do when she's not getting ALL of the attention.
She's pretty good with sharing so far, but I can see that turning the other way when she has to share with a sibling.
____

In other news.. I'm going to kill DH.
Need to take our dog to the vet, so what does DH do? He sets up an appointment for today at 4pm. Mind you he doesn't get off until 4 and it takes him about 20-30min to get home (would be same amount of time to the vet office).
So not only am I going to have to take our dog to the vet by myself, I have to try to control Zoe too. AND I'm going to have to drive home in fucking rush hour traffic.
Thanks a whole F-ing lot DH... -_-