Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Dieting sucks!

I have no been doing well on getting back on track with diet.
All I want to do is eat and eat bad junk b/c everything else.. I have to prepare and cook.
Was sitting here, whining in my head about there being nothing sweet I can eat... then it dawned on me that we have a pantry full of sugar free jello I can make lol.
Jello isn't my first choice, but it should hit the spot with the sweet cravings. Just have to wait a few hours for it to set up now. Sigh....
May fix some of the pudding in there in the mean time since it only takes a couple minutes to set. Sigh...
This sucks.
I know I've gained back everything and my body and brain just wants to keep up with the junk.
I'm not giving up at all.. just sharing the struggle.
There will be lots of days like this, but hopefully there will be more victorious days and the pounds will melt off.
Just gotta get Oren's birthday out of the way then it's smooth sailing until Ezra's and Zoe's birthdays lol. But hey.. those are a few months of no temptation of cake :P lol

Watching niece again today. They're outside playing.. getting all nice and dirty.
DH is coming home and working on the play area more once he's relaxed some. So glad he's doing it and not leaving it until the weekend to work on.
If he could finish leveling it off... I'd be more than happy to go out there and try to put the house together.

Anywho... my kids were the ones being little annoying turds yesterday. I'm used to it.. mostly.. but she wasn't. Oren's idea of playing is to smack her with different toys. He's not doing it to be mean, he just thinks he's playing and gets upset when I tell him not to hit b/c again.. in his 2yo brain.. he just thinks he's playing around and not doing anything wrong.
Plus, Zoe and niece kept leaving Oren out of their playing so that upset him and made him cry.... a lot. Kept having to remind them to include him.
This is why DH really wanted us to have another boy. DH grew up with his 2 sisters and nothing but girl cousins so he never had anyone to hang out with while his sisters were close to all their cousins.
DH just didn't want Oren to go through that too.. and now he doesn't with Ezra here. Just gotta wait for Ezra to start walking and talking and participating in the chaos lol.

And yep... that's about it. I've taken some photos. Will post them up soon.. ish. Not sure if I'll be watching niece again tomorrow. Hope not...
I mean, it's been fine, but it's still nice to not have to take care of another child rofl.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Another one added to the chaos

Watching niece today.
MiL has pneumonia and SiL called last night to ask if I could watch niece today.
I'm fine with it. Niece isn't nearly as annoying as she used to be lol (Zoe is in that phase right now.. sigh)....and I knew Oren and Zoe would love to see and play with her all day.
And yep... All... Day... Long.
Neither of the 3 have slowed down yet. Just constantly on the move and making a mess.
Thankfully... Niece is now better at cleaning up after herself and her willing to do it is rubbing off on Zoe a little today to get her to clean up quicker.

So far so good. They have tracked in a ton of dirt from the back yard but.. oh well. Not the first time.. won't be the last. Another reason why I want their play area and better grass. No more of this weed and dirt crap that's back there now.

Frickin dandelions man...
And it seems like the dogs just loooove pooping right on top of the weeds. I poop scooped the other day after Zoe stepped in some and almost every single pile was right on/under a weed. WTH?
Hope this doesn't come out as bad as it sounds in my head, but now that we only have 2 smaller dogs, I at least don't have to worry about the kids stepping in a giant pile. One of the dogs does still leave some big turds out there, but not AS big as the deceased pup.
I do still want another dog though. Keep shoving corgi's in DH's face :P lol
Did want a pug and I still do.. one day, but I would love to get a corgi. Those stubby legs are just too GD cute! They're like a big/little dog :D
But yeah.. weeds.. BOOOOO lol Would much rather pooper scoop on nice plush grass :P rofl

Another restless night for Ezra. I need to just let him cry, but I don't like the thought of everyone getting woken up by it so I get up and deal with it.
I'm so worn out and tired in the morning instead of being rested :(
It could be worse. He could stay up. Thankfully he does go right back to sleep... only to wake up an hour or so later. Sigh.
Seems he spit up like crazy some time this morning too. Went to get him up and right above his head where he had been laying was a big wet spot. His head smells like it too. Bleh!

We still haven't come up with anything for Oren's birthday. Will probably do something the weekend after his birthday since it falls on a Thursday.
We think we're gonna go with Batman theme, but other than that... /shrugs
We still need to put his sensory board together.

Started spotting a lot more last night. Really thought period had finally started b/c I started feeling bloated and a little crampy. The whole 9 yards.
NOPE! False alarm once again.
I finally pumped again last night after not having done it the day before. Think my body is confused with it right now. Going to try to go longer without pumping. Just not do it unless my breasts start to really hurt. We'll see how it goes. Pretty sure I put in the last ounce in to the last full bottle though. Sigh....

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Knew it was gonna happen... sigh

This is why I wished I could do it myself b/c I just knew DH would take over and make it more complicated lol.

SO I just basically wanted a big square/rectangle area.
Well, now he wants to put their play area all the way to where the shed will be and blahblahblah. Just basically making a lot more work.
Oh well.....
We just need the area level, put down some of that weed blocking sheets and put the horse stall mats down. I will gladly start putting the house together myself. The pebbles or whatever can wait. DH actually suggested we put down mulch.. LOL.. no. I want this area to be somewhere they can walk barefoot. Mulch (wood chips), they wouldn't be able to walk on it AND it would attract termites along with a lot of other creepy crawlies.
It's going to cost more, but I want the pea gravel.

So yeah... it won't be done in one weekend, but I'm determined to get it done dernit! lol We're getting nice warm weather so I can get out there with the kids to start.
Did leave Ezra in the sun for too long yesterday though. Poor little dude got a mild sunburn on his arm.
He is lily white though. He definitely inherited DH's skin and DH's quickness to getting burned. The other 2 got my skin. I still burn, but it takes a lot and they got the good part where they just get a nice looking tan lol.

Anywho... it's gonna get done.... /nodnod

I thought my period was going to start. I started passing tiny clots here and there. Nothing regular, but ya know.. I figured it was going to be the start of something. NOPE!!
I'm starting every other day pumping... if that. I still haven't pumped yet. May just wait until my boobs start hurting... if that ever happens. If not.. then.. well.. I guess this is the end.
Maybe my body will finally get with it and realize that it can get normalized again. Not that I'm looking forward to getting periods, but I just want something to happen instead of this random spotting mess. Not that my cycles are normal though lol

Ezra had another little rough night last night.
Went to bed perfectly fine. Fussed a couple of times, but nothing too bad and went to sleep on his own the 2nd time.
But then he fussed throughout the night and just... UUUUUUUUGH. Of course I was the only one getting up to check on him.
And then poor DH isn't getting used to his cpap mask. He can't get comfortable since he can't really sleep in a lot of different positions with the mask on so he was moving all over the place which was keeping me up too.
You'd think I would be used to this by now... and I kind of am, but not really too lol.
Sigh.. I just want a good night rest.

Anyway.. blahblahblah.... whinewhinerantrant ;)

Friday, February 24, 2017

Get with it!!

DH wants to wait until April to start buying stuff. NOOOOOOOOO
Why does he want to wait? B/c we'll get more of that reward cashback thing from our credit card. I don't care about that! That will give us.. maybe $20 back. MEH...
I want to get stuff this weekend and damnit.. we're going to! we don't have to get every single thing, but at least get enough to set up the area and set up the house. We can wait to do little details.

Zoe and Oren had fun outside. They'll have even more fun once they have the house and whatever else :D Right now, they're just sorta limited to digging in the little bit of dirt that's out there. Both of them keep insisting on taking their darn shoes off though. Grrrrr

Pic of Oren b/c why not :D

My flower tray! Love seeing the little plants popping up already. Cucumbers are starting to come up in my veggie tray :D

My dog Cid... just b/c.

My horrible looking garden space lol. Need to get out there this weekend and pull up all the weeds and whatnot and hope there aren't any snakes in it. Doubt there will be, but ya never know. DH wanted to redo the gardens for some reason. I don't think he needs to and I certainly don't want to wait around for him to do it. I'd be waiting for forever.

The area I want to use for the kids' play spot. It's right behind/beside the garden beds. Wouldn't be in the way of the eventual patio/deck and not in the way of the eventual shed either.
Hopefully my next post will be of loads of pics of what we've bought and the progress we've made on fixing up the space. FX

Yeah.. my weight this morning was not good as is back up. I did eat and drink before I remembered to weigh in, but I didn't eat like 5lbs of food or anything so my weight shouldn't have been much different if I had taken it first thing.
Anyway, it was 223something. Sigh.
I am still feeling bloated, but it's my own fault too for seeking comfort foods instead of eating healthy still.
BUT like I said, this journey is going to be long and hard and I'm in it for the long run and I will get to my goal. :)

Thursday, February 23, 2017

So messy

Didn't actually get photos of the mess lol. No no, I took photos on the actual camera, not my phone and I'm feeling too lazy right now to hook up the camera to the computer, get the photos off, etc etc lol.
Letting the kids play outside now that it's nice out there. Going to go out with them once Oren wakes from his nap and try to visualize what I want for their play area and take more photos.
I'd love to give them a good space to play in. Put the slide/basketball thing out there. Give them a sandpit, etc. We don't have a huge yard, but there's enough space for everything we want IMO :)

So.. while waiting for Oren to get up....
Little stinker Ezra.
He has a blowout yesterday. Those are always fun... bleh.
He's still on the floor now. Lazy little cutie doesn't like holding his bottle himself yet lol. He's happily rolling around all over the place. He can go to his sides just fine, but still doesn't roll to his belly. Oh well.

And my pretty Zoe making a giant mess with her practice w/ scissors thing. I had NO idea how much she would love that thing. Just thought she would kind of like it. Girl demolished her book.. as you can see. Now to get her to clean up her mess lol.

Oh... and I totally jinxed myself. Ezra did not want to go to sleep last night. I think he was just overtired and it was making him cranky and he kept himself up crying.
It took forever for him to finally get to sleep. Any little noise he thought he heard in his room woke him up.
Then, he woke up twice during the night. I got up with him and thankfully he did go right back to sleep once he had his paci.
I'm feeling it today though. Doesn't help that Oren & Zoe woke up at 7am. That's not too bad, but I NEED that extra 30mins lol.

I'm also down to pumping just once a day (at night). And only getting maybe a little over an ounce each time. I'd like to keep going just a little longer, but yeah.. it's all almost over. Happy to have did it for this long and a part of me will miss it, but it will be nice to have my boobs back and not worry about cracked painful nipples anymore lol.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Weigh in is going to be so bad

I've been SO bad with food this week, but my body has been so achy and just shot to shit that right at this moment...I don't care.
I'm not giving up. Not even close..... but this particular week... I'm not caring.
Not going out buying junk food or anything like that, but I am eating some of the kid's discount V day candy and eating some of the granola bars they don't want lol.
Like last night... we had burritos for dinner and I ate 3 b/c I was HUNGRY!! ;)
SO yep... weigh in is not going to be good at all, but oh well....
I just wish my body would get with the program already. Stop randomly getting all funked up and let me just start exercising already!

My hair is back to feeling normal again after bleaching. It has been for about a week now.
Last time.. I only used conditioner in it...no oil. I wanted to see if the feel of it was different.
The ends LOOK different. They're a lot floofier and dry looking, but other than that... I can't really tell much difference. I'll still use the oil though b/c I do think it's helping.

My hair is still hemorrhaging the dye like crazy every shower. My roots are fading some b/c I've been shampooing. And by shampooing, I mean a tiny tiny not even dime sized dab of shampoo to wash my scalp. That tiny amount has been enough to fade my roots and I'm sure contribute to the dye running out on other parts too. But overall, the color is holding up.
This is why I do dark color. 1... bc I can't get my hair light enough to do pastel... and 2... less maintenance to keep the color nice looking. The darker it is, the longer you can go before you have to do touch ups. I can't imagine pastel colors lasting for more than 1 or 2 washes.
This is why you'll see people with colored hair w/ their hair up. It's b/c they haven't washed it for X amount of days to try to extend the life of the color. Or if it's me.. I wear it up all the time b/c wearing it down makes me sweat rofl

Ezra is doing well sleeping in his crib. He hasn't made any noises in the middle of the night for a few nights now.
He has woken up at around 5:30-6am fussing. I give him a bottle and he goes back to sleep for another hour and a half. I'll take one more hour. I may not get back to sleep, but just being able to lay down and relax is nice. He's also more than happy to just lay in his crib too.
I would be able to stay in bed longer, but Oren usually gets up and he's not happy to stay in bed lol.
Ezra really doesn't like going to bed though. BUT that's getting better too :) So it's all working out so far!
Well.. except for my own sleep. It's still crappy.
I'm still waking up around 3am and then not getting back in to that good sleep.
I think that's been one reason why my body has been so bleh lately. Just not getting the rest it needs.
Took a melatonin pill last night before going to bed. Not sure if I was just tired or if it helped, but I was done by 9pm and went to bed a little after.
Hopefully I'll start to sleep better soon. I know it won't be the best b/c I never slept great before, but it would be nice to sleep better.

Found so many cute ideas for their play area in the back. Thanks pinterest! lol Just need to get DH to not procrastinate about it and get it done. Want to get the playhouse up before Oren's birthday. That means we can't put this off for too long since his birthday is 2 weeks away lol.
If I could go to the store and carry everything on my own, I would. I actually might with some of the things I want to do. Just have to come up with a final plan and write everything down that's going to be needed :)
Will of course take pictures!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Monday.... and Tuesday

I've run out of post titles. Well.. I think that was obvious a long time ago lol.
So.. DH was off of work yesterday, so you know what that means! Grocery shopping and getting annoyed with him! WOO! :\
First up... after getting groceries.. came home, let the kids out back and got all the planting stuff ready.

Took a little while to do it since I had to take a break b/c my back was killing me, but I finally got it done :)
One tray of flowers and the other tray has all the food plants :)

The kids also had a blast outside.   
I had to take Ezra in early b/c someone (Oren) was feeding him dirt. Sigh... I had my back turned to them both so I wasn't paying attention. Turned around b/c it finally hit me that both of them were quiet and saw Oren trying to feed Ezra more dirt and Ezra's face all covered.

Other than that incident, Oren was having a blast too and got nice and dirty.

Zoe was having fun pretending to plant seeds too. Girl made a giant mess and stole a lot of the extra left over seeds I had lol. Oh well. Thankfully seeds aren't too expensive and it made her happy to think she was doing something.
She then saw the neighbor boys out back. There's one that lives next to us that is about 6? And then 2 more that live behind us that are a little older.
She called them all her boyfriends. The 6?yo one came back out and started jumping on their trampoline and she was fangirling all over the place. Kept trying to see him through the fence and calling him her boyfriend and how awesome he was. Asked her what his name was and she just said "I don't know." /facepalm
Anyway... DH pissed me off. He was on his computer the entire time looking up shed stuff. Which is fine... didn't have a problem with that. Problem I had was when I saw what Oren had done and asked him to help. I dunno what he could've helped with... maybe just helping me clean Ezra up or clean the walker up or something. But his stank ass attitude when I asked him to help just royally pissed me off
Seriously.... you've been on your computer the entire time... kids haven't been bothering you at all.... and yet you give attitude the one GD time I ask you to help me?
When he did it... I couldn't help but just basically snarl at him and tell him to just get out of my way and go back on his computer.
Again.. I don't want to paint DH as being an asshole 24/7 b/c he most definitely is not. I just need some place I can come complain about him every once in a while when he does have his asshole moments lol ;)

Oh... and that mattress we already had? NOT a full size! /cry
It's only a twin..... SIGH!
So we had to go back to Sams to get a mattress. Thought we were going to get to save some money.. but nope.
But hey... Zoe has her big girl bed now :D
She's still coming in to our room at night though :\

Just need to get her to clean up the rest of her room. Her bed takes up SO much of her room now. She used to have a lot of space. But hey.. now she has space on her bed to play :)

Speaking of mess... the sunroom is a disaster area again. It's not AS bad as it was before, but it's getting there. Need to clean it and make sure the kids pick up after themselves a bit better.

And finally.... saving money? Pfft.. what's that?
We haven't put it together yet for the kids. I kept bugging DH to get it and when we got Zoe's mattress, I finally convinced him to get it for them. This is part of Oren's birthday present though. After this last Christmas, we agreed that we really need to scale it back and only spend X amount on them instead of going crazy like we did.

Anyway... think we have a general area we'll be putting it in the backyard. I'm looking at cute, cheap landscaping ideas to put around it.
We need better grass in the backyard. Right now it's overrun with weeds.
Think it was 2 years ago. I went out there and pulled up an ass ton of dandelion weeds. They were ALL over the place and it took forever. And I'm sure they're all back and then some now. Need to get some weed stuff or something. I just want one of those nice pretty clean looking backyard for the family to play in.

But yeah... if we can come up with a good design.. I'd love to start doing the landscape stuff for the playhouse so we can get that up this coming weekend or some time soon so the kids can play in it asap.

Oh and as for the playhouse... we got it from Sam's Club for $299. It's listed as 399 on their website (and it's sold out) so it was 100 cheaper in the store. And on Amazon and the playhouse's company website (backyard discovery), it's listed for 599.
Also, the playhouse itself is actually pretty small. Perfect size for the kids right now, but older children... or just big tall kids may have a problem playing in it. The size is small, but hey.. that can be a good thing if you don't have a lot of yard to work with :)
Just wanted to add all that in case anyone was looking for a playhouse for your kids. $300 isn't so bad for an almost all wood playhouse that looks pretty unique. May be worth going to Sam's for.... just ask someone with a membership to take you if you don't have a card of your own lol.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Sunday funday post!

So.. we moved Ezra in to his room last night and it went pretty well :D
Did put him to bed a little later only b/c DH and I stayed up later, but it went great.
He cried a little at first but went right to sleep and seemed to sleep well.
He did cry a couple of times during the night, but got himself back to sleep after a cry or 2. I did check on him the first time, but don't think I needed to.
The frickin monitor went off twice. First time, it only gave the first warning beep once.
2nd time.. it did the warning beep twice and then went off. He was just slightly off to the side... that was it. Thing had no reason to go off /grumble
But other than that... everything was great :D
Hopefully it keeps going that way!

DH also took Zoe's bed apart and put her big girl bed together. We need to buy a box spring for it and got some support bracket things just to be on the safe side (since we know they're going to jump on it so we wanted extra support).
We already had a mattress though that I completely forgot about.
Hey.. that is money saved :D We were looking at getting her a 250dollar one so pfft.. this saves us some money.
The mattress isn't like the best quality, but it will be perfectly fine for a few years :D We already have a mattress protector sheet for it and everything!

Zoe & Oren spent the night with aunt. She asked if they both could so... sure, why not. After dinner with the inlaws, we went to Walmart to get Zoe some new sheets. We got her DC superhero girl sheets and a throw. She was acting like a butt at home when we were asking her what she wanted, so we picked for her lol.
DH is getting the box spring after church.
I keep bugging him to also pick up a playhouse for them. Hey... now that we don't have to spend 250 on a mattress.. we can spend 50 more and get them that awesome playhouse! :D

Also went and got some more veggie and flower seeds along with some seed starting containers! Plan on doing that later today and probably tomorrow too. Can't wait to get it all started!
Let the kids play outside while I get that going and just get some sun and fresh air :D
DH keeps saying he wants to redo the garden area. DUnno why and really don't care if they're redone or not.

We also went to Target and bought a few discounted valentine's day things lol.

I Dunno what happened though but my body felt like it did when I was pregnant with Ezra at the end. Ached all over, my feet were killing me, my hips felt like they were going to pop out of joint, my lower abdomen felt so bloated and ached like crazy.
We didn't even do a ton of physical activity. Didn't walk around or stand for any longer than usual, but my body sure as hell felt like it.
I didn't sleep on it wrong, didn't feel anything weird..... my body just... sucked.
My feet are still sore as heck today and I'm incredibly tired.
Even though Ezra slept well.. I sure as heck didn't. Guess my brain isn't used to not being woken up so it kept waking itself up all night long. I slept ok, but just kept waking up every hour give or take.

SO tired right now.
I woke up at 7:30 b/c I couldn't get back to sleep, then took a quick nap at about 9:30. It's 1pm now and I want to sleep some more.

I did have a headache this morning that took forever to go away, so maybe it's all something hormonal.
Did spot some last night, but that's all it was and nothing so far today.
Whatever it is.. it sucks!

I'll post some photos up tomorrow or Tuesday. DH is off tomorrow so I may not have a chance to blog.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Expected, sucks, but gotta keep chugging

So I knew my weight wasn't going to be great this morning.
Just feeling a bit blah and bloated.
It wasn't as bad as I thought, but still 219.2. So up a little from last week... for now.
It sucked seeing it, but it is what it is.
It's gonna go down damnit.. just going to take FOREVER lol.
And I did actually exercise this week.... once :P lol
I tried a dance video and holy crap that was embarrassing. Only here with the kids and I was still embarrassed lol.

Anyway, I forgot to take a shot of myself, so here it is. No change and I still look pregnant. Thanks food! /grumble

Next week... definitely going to try to get in more exercise. May just start pulling a Homer Simpson and just get a dumbbell and just do that the entire day. Why not if I'm just sitting around doing nothing. Just get a little weight... 3lbs at first and just lift it.

Ezra is going to be going in to his room finally. Tonight or tomorrow... not sure.
Part of me can't wait b/c I'm tired of hearing the creaky bassinet squeek whenever he moves in it, but then another part of me wants to put it off for longer b/c it means I'll have further to travel to check on him lol.

I swear... all 3 kids got hurt yesterday. Nothing serious thankfully...

Ezra got that thermometer shoved in to his ear. Yes, he's fine... 

Zoe was jumping off the couch on to a pile of blankets. Not sure what happened but she was on the couch and fell off the side of it where the side table is. Bonked her arm, leg and head. Think mostly her arm though. With the way she was screaming, you would have thought she had broken it. Nope.. she's fine and dramatic.

Zoe and Oren were playing on the love seat and Oren fell off the side of it. Totally fine and he was already kind of laying on the side so it wasn't a big fall or anything.

Sigh.... these kids are going to give me a heart attack.

Think we're going to convert Zoe's toddler bed to a full bed soon. Her big girl bed.... /cry
We're hoping it keeps her sleeping in her room, but I'm sure she'll still climb in to bed with us lol.
It needs to be done though. Her crib mattress is ruined and.. yeah... she needs her big girl bed.
Gonna be pricey though. Gotta get a mattress and get bed set for it.

Ezra is up from his 10min nap /grumble.... and fussing so... tata for now :D

Thursday, February 16, 2017

A day full of headaches and adjusting

Stupid glasses... why couldn't I have 20/20 vision. Sigh.. I miss those days when I was young and had good eyesight. Then in HS, I kept having to squint to see the board. Didn't even think anything of it until it was pointed out to me. Then I finally got glasses and it became clear (get it? get it?) how badly I did need them.
My eyesight isn't THAT bad, but sitting in the chair.. if I took them off, I wouldn't be able to read what I was typing on the tv. Things are blurry.
I'm not like DH who is pretty much blind without his. Without his glasses, everything just becomes blurry shapes.
Hoping our kids get my eyesight.. or better yet... don't have bad eyes, but pfft, doubt that. Both his parents wear glasses, both of mine do too.

Anyway... today has been fun. Getting used to the new glasses and adjusting them constantly b/c...

****interrupted by Oren putting a thermometer in Ezra's ear****

UUUUUUUGH.... this is what I spend all day trying to prevent and the one moment I take to blog and this happens when I'm not paying attention. Awesome.
Ezra is ok. He cried for a minute, but he seems ok. He's having himself a bottle right now and is mumbling to it.
Poor baby boy.
Don't even know where the thermometer came from but in the trash it goes.
Not looking forward to stuff up the nose either which I know will happen.


but... my glasses aren't sitting right on my face. They need to sit up higher. I adjusted them some with some needle nose pliars, but not enough apparently. May try to adjust them some again, but not really sure I have enough nose up there for the nose thingies to sit on lol.
We do need to go get an eye exam though. I hate the drops. I can't help but freak out whenever the doctor tries to put them in. It's just my automatic uncontrollable reaction. I squirm and start blinking like crazy.
Do not fuck with my eyes damnit! Just ask me if 1 or 2 looks better!

I spotted some yesterday. Thought for sure that my period was going to start, but a whole lot of nothing today. Had some slightly tinged toilet water after using the bathroom, but other than that.. nothing.
I'm bloated, getting acne, emotions are a bit high right now.... just wish something would happen. Get it out of the way already.

I do not expect my weigh in tomorrow to be good.. like.. at all.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Noooooo. RIP glasses

DAMNIT!!! My glasses just broke :( :( :(
They didn't feel right on my face so I kept adjusting them.. all of a sudden, the side part... whatever the fuck it's called started to bend more than it should have and POP off it came. /sob
I loved these damn glasses. Rimless which I love b/c your vision isn't blocked...
nice THIN arms? on them so again.. your peripheral vision isn't blocked.
Only negative is that you NEEDED 2 hands to put them on. The arms are springy so they spring closed when they're not on your face so you need 2 hands to open them up and put them on.. if that makes sense.
Ugh.. loved them... sigh... RIP :(
And the purple parts are supposed to be white but thanks to my hair dye... they're purple now :P heh

Thankfully I have another pair with the same script. BUT these are what the others aren't. They have rims and the arms are really thick and block my side vision. Plus, the lense part is too small for my eyes so my entire vision isn't looking through them. Didn't even consider that when I got them. Just thought
"OOO these are pretty... and look! A butterfly! GIMME!"
I've only worn these twice b/c I hated them and now I'm stuck with them for who knows how long.... /cry
They are still pretty... just not what I want and I hate that I have to get used to wearing them now. All I see is the rim around the lenses.... SIGH!!!

House plants!! So exciting

So so exciting I know ;) lol
I like my mundane life though... just wish there were aliens... ;) rofl
So... I just cut up the 2 pineapples we bought and prepped the good top to hopefully get a pineapple plant growing. WOO! (it's the red cup in the middle).
It's just in water right now but will be planted in some soil once it gets some good roots on it :D
That's the orchid I've had for a few years now. It's not the biggest prettiest one, but it's endured being forgotten about so yeah :P lol
And the other pot has my dead avocado tree in it. I should've repotted it a long long time ago, but laziness and a couple kids later.. it was also forgotten about and died just this last year. :(
Feel so bad, but I have another seed going in some water so hopefully I'll have another plant soon that I will definitely take better care of.
And 2nd pic is the bamboo we got for Ezra's room. It also needs to be repotted. Need to look it up before it dies. It's pretty good so far though and has actually grown a decent amount now that it's in a lit area (Ezra's room is pretty dim now that it has curtains).

My crazy plant that my mom gave me that really needs to be repotted. It's SO crowded in the one it's in. One of these coming weekends, I'm gonna spend the day outside just repotting everything, getting some seeds started outside after cleaning the garden up while the kids run around and.. yeah.. it will be a nice day :)

It's a very horrible looking tomato plant. Surprised it's still trying to stay alive, but it's getting pulled up soon so I can put the pineapple in to it. Or the avocado.

One of my new favorite foods!
I can eat the entire bad by myself and have a few times now. Not ashamed!
You can get it from Sam's Club. It comes w/ 2 bags taped together and costs about $4 something. Very cheap.
It's SO good. I saute it w/ some butter, salt, pepper and garlic powder. I like them soft, but not too soft. /nodnod

That's all the milk in the fridge now..... sigh. All of that used to be full

Along with all of these shelves. So full of milk w/ every single bottle filled to the brim, PLUS at one point, I had to fill a tupperware container too.
/cry/sings Those were the days......

This is what I pumped last night before bed. That's all I got after pumping for about 40mins. Right first, then left, then right again.
Sigh... soon... very soon it will be down to drops
Really need to see who I need to call about getting my wisdom teeth removed along w/ the implant thing put in. Not sure if I need to go through my regular dentist or call the place that extracted my broken tooth. 
Just need to get it done and over with. May wait until after Oren's birthday... just so I won't have to worry about missing birthday cake ;) rofl

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

The bad part no one wants to admit to

... So that last post was pretty bitchy. Damn... I was trying to get to sleep last night and all I could think about was how mean I was.
I could delete it, but, no. I 'said' it... I own up to how mean I can be sometimes.
Try not to be, but sometimes.. something finally just rubs you the wrong way and all hell breaks loose.

Speaking of mean....
That part of parenthood that no one wants to admit to... getting pissed off at your kids.
Not talking about frustration.. I'm talking about ANGER.
I'm sure there will be some that deny ever getting angry, but they're GD liars.
Oh.. I feel guilty AF immediately after getting angry and I would never ever abuse my kids (and before anyone says it, no.. I do not think the occasional spank is abuse, so fuck off with that shit).

I got angry at Ezra this morning. He started fussing at around 3am. Would... not... stop. I started off fine, but after getting up non stop with him until 6am (and trying to let him CIO but he wouldn't calm down).. I was done and yes.. my anger was aimed towards him.
My anger came out as a few "Shut up" and "For fuck's sake!" under my breath and a few throwing the blankets off myself like a child, but that was it.
I felt bad and feel bad that I got angry, but... it happened. You'll never see my big ass on the news though b/c I'm not a psycho that would hurt my kids.

I think us parents need to give ourselves a break sometimes. Acknowledge that we're all human and we still have feelings. We love our kids more than anything, but they can royally piss us off. That it's a normal part of raising a little human or 3.
But no... we can't admit it b/c you'll have all the lying ass sanctimommies that come out to proclaim how horrible you are and that you never should've had kids if you're not gazing at them 24/7 with nothing but googly eyed wonderment or some shit. Bitches that have to make you feel like shit b/c it makes them feel better.
Bullies.... just bullies.

So here is my little Ez's head full of cradle cap. If you're not familiar with cradle cap.. just imagine having the worst case of dandruff ever.
Just a super dry scalp that is difficult to get rid of and leaves giant chunk of flaked off skin in your hair.

This was after I put some more baby lotion on his head. After I took the pic, I went and combed his hair out and massaged some of the flakes off. It's so gross. He has it worse than the other 2 did.
I know Zoe had it pretty bad in patches.... I can't really remember Oren having it bad or for very long though.
Hopefully w/ the lotioning and combing, it will help to clear it up quickly.
He's still my little cutey pie though.

And my little miss 4yo going on to 16. Attitude attitude attitude lol
Even with all of that attitude... she's such a wonderful child. Sure... she has her shitty moments lol, but I think we're pretty lucky to have such a great kid :D
Just wish she would stay in her bed at night.... and wipe her own butt :P lol
Need to go to Once Upon a Child. We went to Kohls on Friday after dinner (it's in the same lot as the restaurant) to use some Kohl's cash. Bought the boys matching outfits and just need to get Zoe a dress that kinda matches them too.
They did have GORGEOUS super expensive Beauty & The Beast "inspired" dresses there. Just super adorable little girl dresses that I would've loved to have gotten her.. if they just weren't so GD expensive lol.
I'm sure we'll be able to find her something just as great 2nd hand and at a fraction of the cost at OUaC though :D

And a terrible pic of Oren b/c my camera's flash is broken... awesome. Probably a good thing it's bad though b/c he's still sick and almost always has a river of snot coming out of his nose. Ew
Speaking of sick... DH caught their cold. So far, my nose has been a little stuffed up, but that's been it for me. I have gotten a couple of headaches, but I think that's hormonal.
DH though has a mild cold. 
Thank goodness for his cpap machine b/c since he's gotten it... NO SNORING! WOOOOO!
He's still not used to sleeping with it just yet, but it will get better with time.
I remember what his breathing and snoring was like when he's sick..... now that he has his cpap... that's all history. Sweet sweet history that I hope never happens again lol.
F you snoring!!!!! No one is gonna miss you!! MUAHAHAHAHA

Monday, February 13, 2017

Quick bitchy rant....

You have someone in your life or at least on facebook that thinks they're just so artsy and awesome?

Yeah.... that title has to go to one of my cousins. I can't remember how much younger she is than me, but I know she's at least 30. I wanna say 32? but I can't remember.

She considers herself an artist I'm sure. She mainly photographs. And lemme tell ya... other than it being obvious that she has a nice camera... her photoshoots SUCK BALLS.
I know that's being mean, but I just can't with what she just posted.
First up, requirement for her models? Bring cigarettes! 😑
And 2nd... she keeps mentioning her awesome makeup skills... yet all I see is just fake blood that was squirted on to her models.
Oh and the shoot was some stupid hipster zombie attack.... thing. Just lame in every sense of the word.
Oh look.. so edgy...... look how they're smoking... look at their tattoos. Look at their nonconforming clothes or some shit....
Just the lamest hipster most set up looking bullshit I've ever seen.
You know how basically everyone but hipsters see hipsters as lame ass douchebags? That is the overwhelming feeling I get from her photos. Just people I want to punch right in the throat.

Another photoshoot she had were just 2 grungy looking women.. or I should say girls b/c that's what they looked like... try hards... smoking on a couch... trying to look edgy.
Uuuugh, I just can't with that shit.

She can photograph whatever she wants.. and I know what I'm saying is super F-ing mean.. which is why I'm not saying it to her face lol.
Try-Hards.... that's what she and her friends are.

And can we all please stop acting like Beyonce's shit doesn't stink??
No, I didn't watch whatever award show that aired, but of course it's posted ALL over facebook and of course sites like Buzzshit is just all up in Beyonce's ass b/c Beyonce can do no wrong.

First... Beyonce is a beautiful woman and a great singer. She doesn't sing that type of music that I like, but I can still recognize talent.
With that said though.... everything she does is not gold.
Like her cheap tacky ass twin pregnancy announcement photos that got plastered everywhere. Girl... no.
You're a frickin millionaire. Aint no damn reason for you to be surrounded by some discount flowers on a broken down rusty car with mismatched underwear on. You have money... don't let a friend try to get all artsy fartsy on you b/c they have a stupid ass vision.

And I don't even want to know what was going on with her performance in whatever the hell she was wearing. Maybe all those years of people telling her she's a goddess and all that bullshit got to her head.

And... look up Fukushima reactor folks. There was a recent story about it that I'm sure most people haven't even heard about.
That plant is pumping who the hell knows how much radiation in to the Pacific Ocean.

If you like seafood... pay attention to where it's coming from. I seriously would not eat seafood coming out of the pacific.
Just think about how much radioactive water has been constantly dumped back in to the pacific. It's scary as hell.

Read the recent articles about it b/c it's seriously scary and everyone needs to be concerned about it. Especially the west coast... hell but really the whole world.
Fuck Trump and whatever stupid ass nonsense he's doing. Stop bashing him and his family.. focus on the shit that really matters.
Focus on this HUGE event that could potentially kill our oceans and in turn everything else.
I know that seems far fetched, but if you haven't. Read up on it!

There are bigger issues than stupid photoshoots, Beyonce, or what some celebrity said about Trump.


Oh and I THINK maybe I've felt my right ovary ovulating. At least that's what I'm gonna guess it was lol. Can't remember the first time it happened. Just rmember I was on my bed, I laid down and felt a twinge, very obvious pain coming from the right O area. Then the day before yesterday, I felt it again. Dunno if I ovulated or if I'm going to, but I'm gonna say.... sure?
So maybe that's why I'm feeling so bitchy lately. Just in that wait to get my period now that I'm not really pumping anymore.
Well.. I am pumping, but it's still only twice a day and now I'm not even getting 2oz each time.

Sooooo not looking forward to getting period again.. or irregular cycles... or any of that mess. BOOOOOOO
I'm done having kids... why wasn't taking out my uterus an option??

This and that

Oren is definitely not picky when it comes to spice. I made some spicy chicken skewers for dinner last night. One had texas pete, the other sriracha. The Sriracha one was tastier...
Anyway... he comes along wanting to dip the celery and carrot sticks in the sauce mix.
He's dip it... do that inhale thing that you do when eating something spicy, then go in for more lol.
Zoe never liked spicy food like that. She tasted spicy once and that was enough for her lol.

Random photo of him playing. I was getting him to say cheese and look at me, but my frickin phone sucks balls. Really need to get a new one. One with an actually good camera this time that takes photos in a timely manner and stays in focus. /grumble

My baby boy Ez just chilling out and babbling in his car. Put some baby lotion on his head to help with his cradle cap. It's gotten really bad and it's so gross. Tried combing through his hair to loosen up some of the big clumps of flaky skin then put the lotion on his head.

He's been sleeping pretty well at night. Thankfully that awful coughing that he had hasn't been nearly as bad as that one night. And other than waking up maybe once or twice.. he's been sleeping through the night.
Told DH we can finally move him to his room this weekend. Definitely want to wait... even though it's still gonna be me that has to get up to check on him if he fusses... sigh.
And just some randoms :)

And my hair. The bottom of my hair before I washed it again. It keeps getting purple bled in to it when I wash it lol. Still bleeding A LOT of dye out of my hair right now and it's rubbing off on everything as you can see from my current shirt. Made the mistake of picking a light colored shirt to wear... now it has a nice purple stain at the neck hole....


So after church, aunt picked up Zoe to take her to the local state park. Her husband's family was having some get together there and she thought Zoe would enjoy it.
She brings her back at 4...... with her dress off and her stockings and undies soaking wet. Why? Well... there's a small little lake in the park. You can rent little paddle boats and whatnot to go in to it.
Apparently.. they were trying to get in to the boat.. and it tipped over. I'm sure it tipped when aunt tried to go in b/c she's big and has shitty balance.
So aunt, Zoe and another boy went in to the water. Thankfully it's pretty shallow... but still.... sigh.
Oh well... if Zoe remembers it when she's older, it will be something for her to laugh about :P

So.. DH bought some chocolates yesterday and I ate my weight. Assorted creme filled ones and lindt truffle ones. /drool
So yeah, this weekend was not good food wise. Just emphasizes the need to exercise to help counteract these not so great days lol.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Ranting & random

First up... aunt... man...
So Friday dinner was at a place called O'Charleys I dunno if that's the correct spelling.. I don't care. DH and I hate this place b/c the service always sucks and the food stinks. It's just a typical low rent steak house that the inlaws frickin love for some damn reason.
So DH was told to meet there at 6-6:15. We show up at 6:15 and the inlaws are already there in the waiting area.
We're waiting on SiL and BiL now. We do eventually get told that we can be seated, that's when aunt becomes a giant GD bitch and just HAS to make a snarky remark to the little teenager that is sitting us.
She said something like "We could've been seated 10min ago"
First off... SHUT THE FUCK UP. She had a bad day at work.. ok... but that doesn't give her the right to make these other people miserable at their job.
They're TEENAGERS doing their job and following the rules of this place. We've been there multiple times and every single GD time we're made to wait until our entire party is there. We have to wait at every GD place we go to b/c it's a giant party and people don't know how to show up on time. They're not going to just seat 4 or so people when there are still 4+ more that haven't shown up yet. That's like standard fucking practice at most restaurants, SO SHUT UP!!!
But oh no.. aunt was in a pissy mood so she had to ruin someone else's night too.
While she was behind bitching.. I apologized to the girl that aunt first said something to. I was very close to leaving. If aunt had kept it up, I was going to walk out and sit in the van or go browse around one of the stores close by or something b/c I wasn't about to sit there and listen to that shit all night long.
Fucking piss me off.
Then... BiL shows up alone and then tells everyone that SiL is still at work. Dude... you could've fucking told MiL when she called your ass to tell you where to meet. You knew SiL had to work late.. you knew she wasn't going to show up. TELL SOMEONE. That way we're not waiting for more people to show so they can tell the hostess it's X amount of people. Geezus...

Anyway... we were all served cold food.. I'm sure it was aunt's fault for being a bitch, but can't know for sure b/c that place sucks balls to begin with. DH and I aren't ever going back to that place. We gave it another shot and nope.... they can go by themselves and bitch those poor people out if they want. We'll go somewhere better.

Since our dinner was so shitty, I was pissed that our big cheat meal always sucks b/c we're limited to whatever everyone else wants to eat... so we had another cheat day on Saturday. Bought some thin beef strips, bread etc and had sandwiches for lunch, then DH and I got some fast food hibachi style Japanese food and we got the kids Happy Meals.

DH also pissed me off last night (Saturday night). I was trying to get the kids to pick up after themselves. They were leaving their trash all over the place and I had had it. So here I am... unsuccessfully trying to get the children to listen to me, while DH just sat on the couch doing fucking nothing to help.
Dude... seriously??? Unfortunately it got to the point of Zoe getting attitude with me, being warned twice not to do it again, she did it again so ended up getting a couple of spanks to her butt.
I felt like crying... I wasn't getting any help and the kids weren't listening...... I was done. I still feel like crying thinking about it.
Again.. DH is normally a good dad and husband but he sure as hell wasn't last night. Dunno WTF his problem was.

OH also yesterday... it was nice out so we let the kids play outside. DH thought it would be cute to let Oren try to drive the batmobile. Oren did a pretty good job making it go, but he doesn't understand steering yet lol. So what does DH do? He shows him how to go.. then goes back inside leaving me to try to keep Oren from driving in to anything or in to the street. I'm not a physically strong person at all and it took all I could muster to keep him from running in to everything while getting my feet run over and my shoulder pulled painfully.
Sigh... again.. not sure WTH DH's problem was yesterday. He wasn't acting pissy.. his brain just seemed to have taken a vacation.

So anyway..... enough ranting..... not much random b/c Ez is fussing.
I'll try to get some photos of random shit up tomorrow though.
And yes.. I know my recent posts have been filled with cursing. If I have to hold my tongue IRL... then that cursing has to come out somewhere else! :P lol

Friday, February 10, 2017

Quick 6mo appointment

DH got back a little bit ago from taking Ezra to his appointment.
He got 2 shots... but DH said he only cried for a second. Aww.
He has some fluid in his ear, but everything seems ok so far. Just so long as he doesn't develop a fever, we just have to let this run its course. Figured that was gonna happen. FX for no fever.

Weight was 17lbs 8oz. DH said that was just over the 50th percentile
27inches long which was about 50th
and 46cm for head which puts him in the 96th lol
Zoe was the only one of my kids with a normal size head rofl

And yep.. everything is good. I think once he starts getting better from this illness, we're going to finally move him to his room. I don't want to do it while he's this sick though.

Noooo..he pooped!!

So... myself, Zoe and Oren were taking a shower. Everything was going fine... that is until I looked down and see the turds on and by the drain!
Yep... Oren pooped in the shower. BLAAAARGH!!!
Thank goodness they were turds though and not his usual giant mush of poo. Still though.. yuck.
DH came in, handed me Ezra (to give a shower) and picked the poop up.
I knew it would happen one day and I guess... at least it was in the shower and not in a bath.

Ezra's cough has gotten worse. Poor guy. I mean his actual cough sounds the same, it's just happening more frequently.
At his normal fuss time at 3am.. he started up. Lasted over an hour before he finally fell asleep deep enough that he wasn't coughing anymore.
SO tiring and felt so bad for him. Can't do anything for him and he was coughing every other minute.
He has his 6m appointment this afternoon so we'll see what the doc says. Doubt there's anything that can be done though.

Zoe decided she was going to tempt fate and try to sleep with us from the get go last night. Fate was on her side lol.
I dunno what got in to her head to do it though.
She kept getting up as usual.. nothing new.
DH and I went to bed at 9:30. I climbed in to bed.. DH was getting his sleep mask on. He was just starting to get in to bed when I heard our door open and sure enough... a tiny little 4yo silhouette came walking up to the bed with 2 teddy bears in tow.
I take her back to her room. She says that her room is too cold (it's not).. so I cover her up with some of her bazillion blankets and tell her not to come in until later.
I should've been more specific. B/c later in 4yo talk apparently means 5mins later.
Seriously.. I went back to bed... laid down... 5mins later I feel her climbing on to the bed at the foot.
Girl was determined and I said screw it. lol
Sure I had like no room for most of the night but meh.
Told her this morning not to do that again and all she did was smile at me :P lol.. Little stinker.

Oren has also figured out how to unzip his footie pjs. Got him out of his crib this morning. Saw that the zipper was a little low, but didn't think much of it until he poked at his diaper. That's when I saw that it was hanging off one side b/c he undid it.
Thankfully no poop, but there could've been.... there could've been.

Weight this morning was 218.8.
Guess that's better than when it was 220 lol. Going in the right direction this time at least :)
Still waiting for it to drop below that 217 I saw after that first week... and then some.
Hopefully soon!
I'm going to really try to exercise next week. Just unexpected crap happened this week and I haven't felt like it. I keep saying it, but it's true... I NEED to get this exercise thing started b/c it's going to help so much with the weight loss.

And yep.. I sure did fix that ice cream and it's delicious! Had about a tablespoon worth this morning (only b/c that's about how much I could scrape off lol).
It's really easy to make and at least I know what went in to it.
I used 3c heavy cream, 1 can of sweetened condensed milk, 2tsp of peppermint extract, 2tsp vanilla extract, about about a half a cup of semi sweet chocolate chips chopped up.
In a large bowl/container mix the milk w/ the extracts. You could probably mix in the chocolate too if you want.
In another bowl, whip the heavy cream until it's well... whipped ;) This took me about..... 5-10mins (not sure how long exactly) using a hand mixer.
Take about half of the cream and fold it in to the milk mixture. Then take the rest of the cream and fold in.
Recipes I looked up said to only do 2c of heavy cream, but 3c seems to be the perfect amount for that amount of sweetness. You could probably even add another cup and it still be very sweet.
Anyway... tastes just like a yummy mint chocolate chip ice cream :D
Only bad thing is that fatty film that heavy cream leaves on everything. I don't mind it most of the time, but it gets a little gross you can feel it on your lips :P
I don't plan on eating a lot of it today. Maybe a spoon or 2 here and there, but I'm not going to go binge eat the whole bowl of it lol.

Oh and with fun colored hair.... if you plan on doing it, just be sure that when it's still fresh.. wear dark colored shirts and buy yourself some comfy cheap pillow cases b/c the color is going to rub off on both.... all the time. The dark colored shirts/tops can be stopped eventually, but if you use dark colors like myself.. it's probably going to be a month before I can stop worrying about if I'm making my shirt collars purple :P lol
Heck right now.. I'm still waking up with a purple face from color transfer.
Good times.. good times...

Thursday, February 9, 2017

6 months old!!

My baby is already 6mo. Geeze... I know where the time went, but Damn did that fly by.

My little Ezra is 6mo today and is now sick. Awesome. I knew it was going to happen. Can't really prevent it when you have an almost 2yo going around spraying everyone and every surface he can reach with a sneeze.
So Ezra spent last night hacking up some juicy coughs and I spent it awake.. trying to get back to sleep after each one of them. Poor little guy. He's acting normal thankfully.. just the horrible coughing :(

And random... here's the section of wall I want to put the chalkboard paint on. Hoping to do it this weekend. If you look close (or not so close) you can see where the kids have already added their art to the wall.. :\

Apparently they think they need to add more to the fireplace too. Sigh.....

Caught red (or blue) handed!

And speaking of his hand.. or more like his finger.... it's healing up fine and doesn't look too gross.


DH got his cpap yesterday. Too bad he came home with a shitty attitude. He set up his appointment to get it too late knowing full well that he has church on Wednesday (he volunteers and takes Zoe to Awana).

When I ask him if he's going... he says he might be late and that I will have to take her. Uh... no.
Yeah it's shitty of me, but I'm not getting the other 2 ready to go and have to take them in and out of the van just to take Zoe to that. It's a giant damn hassle that I'm not doing.

So yeah.. like I said.. shitty of me but pfft, oh well. Her missing a night of it isn't a big deal and he's not taken her before for small reasons so.. not a big deal IMO.
But oh no.. I'm queen bitch b/c I wasn't going to do it and here comes stank attitude in the door.
I love DH and he is a good husband and father, but GD he sucks sometimes.
I have my shit sucky moments too though so I'm not acting like I'm miss perfect over here lol. I just wish he would adjust his shit sometimes. 

Anyway... he came home a little late, but left right after to take Zoe. I'm sure he was all of 10mins late. Big frickin deal.

Anyway... he used his cpap last night. I know he didn't sleep well with it on. I can't imagine anyone does their first few nights with it. Basically have to learn what positions you can sleep in and just get used to a giant mask on your face.
His machine also records how many times he apneas at night too which I thought was neat. He said it recorded 16 times. /shrugs I have no idea if that's accurate. I wake up easily, but I didn't notice anything.
Just glad he finally has it so eventually he'll be sleeping better.