Tuesday, July 22, 2014

5w4d

Man, these days are going by SLOOOOOOOOOW.

I'm still full of worry as usual, but think I've started to develop a new symptom. Bloating!
I can tell that I've lost weight in my face. Actually have some jawline now :P lol
But my stomach looks like I'm sporting a 6m pregnant belly. Holy moly the bloating is so bad.

Also last night, whenever I woke up, my breasts were KILLING me. They feel fine now (about what they've been feeling), but just every time I moved last night, they hurt like crazy.

Diarrhea is somewhat better but I still get it every day. Now it's just usually in the morning. My body purges everything from the night before :\ So lovely.
It still makes me paranoid though that I'll wipe away blood afterwards.

Energy level seem to be a bit better today. Still not great though, but it's better. DD still waking up at buttcrack of dawn still. Poor thing was still so tired this morning. Put her down for a nap at 7:30. She wanted to be picked up and actually laid her head on my shoulder. She's NEVER done that before. Poor baby. I think I may let her CIO one of these times. Try to get her to start sleeping in longer or something. Just have to make sure DH stays quiet in the morning.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Heifers, please...

So I've been posting in different places I normally don't b/c I have to spread the crazy around somehow lol.
One place that I post, a woman admitted to being creeped out by the idea of breastfeeding. And if she was a bad mom for not wanting to BF.

MOST of the responses are positive and supportive.
But of course here come the BF-fanatics to make her feel like total shit with back handed comments or hell, right to her face calling her immature and selfish.
Bitches, shut up.

I absolutely LOATHE the "Breast is best" phrase. It might have some benefits over formula, but it's not a fucking magically elixir that cures every damn thing. It's a phrase that just makes some women feel like shit if they don't BF and makes other women think they're superior b/c they do. Not ALL women of course, but you know the type that thinks every thing they do is the BEST and they have to compete with everyone. And BFing certainly isn't something that every woman needs to do or hell, even try if she doesn't want to.
Formula is perfectly fine. You don't see a bunch of grown adults running around super unhealthy ONLY b/c they were formula fed. They're not moping around throwing their fists in to the air and cursing their mothers for not breastfeeding them.
It's frickin ridiculous. The whole Mommy Wars thing needs to just die already... but I know it won't b/c people frickin THRIVE to feel like they're superior over others.

Loss of appetite

And of course... queue the worry!!! SIGH! It would be nice if the worry would just stop. It's.... tiring :(
My breasts are still tender if smooshed, I'm peeing like crazy today, tired as usual (did get a nap in though, WOO!)...... but b/c I seem to have lost my appetite w/ no nausea or anything..... it's time to start freaking out! /facepalm

I really thought I wouldn't be this bad w/ a 2nd pregnancy but turns out... NOPE... I'm just as freaked out and scared as I was the first time.

I just want that confidence some women have. I'm pregnant and know I'll be having a baby in 9 months so lets go announce the news to everyone before the test is even dry!

Oh nooooooooooo...

So I've been strolling down memory lane here. Reading my posts from when I was pregnant with Zoe.

Looks like my breasts were acting the same way they are now. Just sore when smooshed and then got better at around 7w.
6 or 7w seems to be when the gagging morning sickness started on a more regular basis.

Also, that my doc office does the first u/s and then doesn't do another until 12w!!! UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
That was the info I was hoping to come by.
With Zoe, I was so spoiled b/c I had so many u/s in the beginning since I was still seeing the RE. Didn't go to my OB until 11w, so 12w was ya know.. the very next week.
Good lordy that is going to be a shitty wait. Not that this one is a walk in the park.

Also saw that I freaked out just as much as I am now ROFL. I guess that happens though, especially if you've had losses before.

Paranoia strikes again

And this time it invaded my dreams.
I'm still freaking out over here. I haven't had any bleeding or cramps, but just the lack of symptoms yesterday (other than the fatigue) worried me.
And then the digi I took the other day that still read 2-3 on it worried me since women who are the same or earlier weeks than I am are getting 3+ on it.
Etc etc.... I'm just a huge worrywart that won't be able to calm down some until.. HOPEFULLY after my first appointment.
I know I know symptoms can come and go. It freaked me the F out with Zoe when it happened and it's doing the same now even though I experienced it before.

B/c I didn't want to use the FRER or digi, I took an OPK to help ease my worries some. It looks the same as it has been which I'm fine with and was glad to see.
Next Tuesday can't get here soon enough.

Oh and DH and I DTD last night and it felt very strange.
It wasn't painful, but there was this intense uncomfortable feeling. It was almost like my cervix was right at the vaginal opening and DH was ramming in to it full force lol. Sorry for the visual, just trying to explain the sensation. It was weird. We've been having regular sex and this is the first time it has felt different.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Raisins

Welp, we just had our first and I'm sure not last incident with a foreign object up the nose... a nice large raisin. I never really monitored her w/ her food before but looks like I'm going to have to start.
She shoved it WAY up there too, probably trying to dig it out. Thankfully w/ great care we were able to get it out w/ tweezers.
Crazy girl.

Even though her grumpy rebellious moments are becoming more frequent, her laughter and silliness are really starting to bloom too. She's so cute and so loving when she's in the mood for it lol.
And the girl absolutely LOVES to sing. Still can't understand her all that well, but every once in a while she'll sing out "Let it go!" or "Mommy! Daddy!" lol, it's really cute.

Love her little butt so much.
____

Felt ok today. Got in a 30min nap which was very much needed.
DH had to lie to his mom about what my appointment was for lol.
His words...
"Makin me lie to my mom..... IN CHURCH!" lol He was just pickin but I know he doesn't like lying to her.
I told him he didn't have to but I think he's a lot more cautious than I am about all of this. Can't say I blame him. I think maybe we could tell everyone on Zoe's birthday though. Least I really hope so. Not sure when my next appointment will be after my first.

Speaking of my appointment... I had myself convinced that it was on Monday, but nope, it's on Tuesday. Glad DH brought that up b/c next Monday would've rolled around and I would've been wondering why DH had gone to work and left me to go to my appointment w/ Zoe by myself :P lol

So excited for it though. Just a little over a week to see if everything is there and where it should be. Really hope so.

Gonna go lay down

Zoe SO needs to stop waking up early. Girl woke up at 5:15. I turned off the baby monitor and she did go back to sleep... until 5:40. Turned it off again and she finally woke at 6:20 probably b/c she had pooped.
I don't know why she wakes up so early b/c she's SO obviously still tired.

In other news... I'm 5w2d? I think.. something like that. Ate some raisins before bed last night and they gave me heartburn w/ a little bit of nausea thrown in for the hell of it. It wasn't too terrible.
Still have diarrhea though. That always worries me but I know it's normal for some women to get instead of the constipation. I remember having diarrhea w/ Zoe. Can't remember how long it lasted before it did eventually turn in to constipation.

My meat aversion isn't that strong yet thankfully. It is creeping up on me, but I'm not totally shunning all meat right now.
And I am definitely getting my sweet tooth back. I'm still not really craving anything sweet, but when we were grocery shopping, some glazed donuts were looking mighty delicious lol.
Bought some honey roasted peanuts for the sweetness that I kind of want sometimes and still have raisins to munch on if I want them. Just won't eat as many as I did last night :P

Oh I took another digital yesterday. Wanted to see if I would get the 3+ on it. NOPE! Still 2-3. Oh well.
I'm definitely not using the last 2 tests.

As for Zoe's birthday gift. DH cut some wood yesterday for it. Not much else really. I kind of don't like how he's doing it, but hopefully it will still look ok. It just worries me some that it's going to be this giant ugly thing w/ what he's shown me so far. I don't think I see his vision but I know he's going to do his best and Zoe will love it even if it does look wonky :D hehe