Saturday, August 27, 2016

Dont fail me now!

Pumping has been going pretty ok. Have had 2 lower amount days, but still overall getting a decent amount.

Haven't been taking fenugreek on,the regular. I'm good,for 2 days then,just end up forgetting.
Going to try to be better at remembering to take it though.

My nipples are so raw and sore. It's so gross. My nips are normally really dark, but,the putter layer of skin has rubbed off so,now they're this pink color in those raw areas. I,know... Tmi, but it's all part of the process.
Boobs thankfully haven't been too sore. They'll get a little sore at night when I haven't pumped for a while, but it's really not bad at all.
Let down,hurts though. Don't remember it,feeling this way. Its just an intense burning/tingling sensation.
Oh nipples,also hurt after pumping when the swelling starts to,go,down. That sucks.

Bleeding has turned to,mostly brown discharge. Can't wait to stop bleeding already. 9 months of no,period spoils you lol.
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Ezra has,been waking twice a night. Nooooooo, we had it so,good before. 😢
He wakes,around 1 or 2...,then again at 5. Sigh.....
Thankfully dh has been getting up with him,the 2nd,time, but once he starts back at work... Its probably gonna be all me. That and taking care of 2 youngins? Uuuuuuugh

I'm going to be in screaming toddler hell for a while until I adjust to it.
Dh wants to get off of sodas.... Yeah, that's not gonna happen for a while.
Momma is gonna need her caffeine.

And yadda yadda... Just making the most out of the time dh has off. Only one more week though.
Just hope I'm feeling a bit better by then. Walking too much along with the few times I've picked Oren up have reignited some pain. It's still not too bad, but bad enough that I still have to be careful how I move.

Friday, August 26, 2016

I need to pump!!

It's almost 8am and I really need to pump. Letting dh sleep in some though since Ez woke up a lot last night/this morning and dh took care of him. Ez usually only wakes once and I take care of him while I pump so dh can sleep....then dh lets me sleep in.
Anywho, it's been a while since I pumped and these boobies need to be drained asap.
Waiting until 8 to do it and then I gotta.
Kids are gonna end up following which is why I'm waiting a little bit longer.
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I Stink post partum apparently.
Thankfully I'm not a giant sweaty mess, but the moments when I do sweat... Yuck!!
We had to get Oren some diapers ywsterday, it's still hot out so I sweat a little. Holy crap the funk. My bra smelled like someone dipped it in vinegar....bleh and wtf.
And it's not like I'm not bathing. Its just that my sweat is super funky.
So gross.

My face is also breaking out again. It actually started before Ez was born. So much for that glow.

Pain still there. Especially after walking around too long. Was hurting yesterday after the store trips. Itsnot too bad though.

My ab muscles seem to be working a bit better. Still having some constipation, but pooping is easier now that my muscles are actually working some.
Again... You don't realize how much you use them until you can't.
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Anywho... It's pumping time.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Oh, you fickle boobs...

Yesterday was a meh day for pumping. Not a bad amount, but less than what it should've been.
Oh well. Making up for it today. My boobs are so touchy with pumping. I have one bad day of pumping inconsistently and it screws up my supply.
If you couldn't tell, I'm a bit obsessed with pumping and keeping track of the amount.
I just really like seeing the progress.
Plus it's helping to keep me on a semi regular schedule.
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Sil and her fam left today. They came over for a little bit before leaving.
So sad. They're planning on eventually moving down here, but not sure when that's going to happen.
Can't wait for them to move back. I know sil is homesick and would love for her DD to grow up around her cousins and vice versa.
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If you haven't seen it, would recommend watching the show limitless. It's on instant on Netflix. It's a bit episodic, but it's a fun show :)

Monday, August 22, 2016

A little better

I'm managing to pump a little more each day. Got 550ml today and I really didn't pump enough but still got 43 more than I did yesterday. Happy about that.
I know it won't be enough when he's older, but for now, it's plenty :)
Nipples are still so sore and bleeding a little around the bottom part and areola that gets sucked in to the flange. Always makes my whole body cringe the first few seconds when I start pumping bc it's so sensitive and hurts.

Incision area is sore, but getting better. Kind of walked a bit too much today so it's more sore, but it's good for healing to get up and move around within reason.
I wasn't doing laps or anything lol, we just went to a couple of stores. Needed more nursing pads and other misc items.
Felt good getting out of the house even though it's hot as he'll outside.

Thankfully I'm not hot as he'll indoors any longer. It's so Damn nice not being a giant sweaty mess any longer. I'm actually getting a little cold every now and then at night and snuggle under my blanket that I haven't used in months lol.
Woooooo for not being hot and miserable!!

Bleeding has really let up. I still get small gushes every once in a while, especially after I've pumped and I'm washing everything, but that's about it. I could probably get away with just wearing panty liners. I used up my last diaper yesterday and started using pads today.
I'm sure it will drag out though like it did after Oren.

Weight and bloating seem to be going down slowly. Weighed myself today. Scale was messing up, but think the last 2 weights it showed were correct at 224. That's the heaviest I've been outside of pregnancy in a while. Hoping the scale will go down more, but I'm not going to worry about it too much just yet.
I know some of the weight is bc I am still bloated and swelling some.
But getting healthier and thinner will eventually be my goal. I want to be here a long time for my family.
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The kids are doing well.
Zoe spent the weekend with the in-laws. They went to the mountains for the weekend and since they came back late last night, decided to keep her an extra night.
It always seems like she comes back bigger when she's gone for more than a night. Can't believe she's going to be in school next year. Also need to call around to the local martial arts places to see bout getting her in one of those classes.
I think she'll really enjoy doing that. Plus I just want her to be able to defend herself,if she ever needed to.
Unfortunately it seems like our world just keeps getting more and more fucked up and I want to make sure she (and the boys when too) can take care of herself.

Oren was a giant crying mess this weekend. Holy tantrum hell. He is soooooo much more dramatic than Zoe ever was. Meltdowns over absolutely nothing all weekend long.
He's still my sweet little guy though. He wants to hug his baby brother every chance he gets. It's sweet, but his hugs are him resting his head against you... His giant heavy head. Too heavy for a little newborn lol.
He's also,fascinated by Ezra's eyes for some reason. We have to always keep him from poking Ez in the eyeball. But it's been a good way to,teach him the name of all the face parts hehe.
Can't wait to snuggle with him more again.

Ezra is doing...,meh. He fights sleep like a toddler and it's so frustrating lol. I think it might be gas though. That and the fact that he keeps spitting out his pacifier and then getting upset bc he doesn't have it any longer. It's so nice when,they get to that stage where they can put the paci back in to their mouth lol.
He's also getting some pimples on his face. Hoping it's not eczema already and just normal,newborn acne.
I'm sure we'll be dealing with another bumpy eczema child though.
So sorry kiddos.... Both of your parents have it to some extent... You were screwed from the start.
And I swear I got some quick on purpose smiles today from him. He's staying awake just a little more and I was talking to him and got a quick big open mouth gummy smile.
Well... It might've been gas or something, but I'll just say it was on purpose.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Nooo...ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

So pumping has been going fine. Thought I got away from the extremely sore nipples since I didn't really try to bf Ezra.
Nope!! It just took longer to get to the sore nips.... 😢
I'm pumping on the low setting that it starts off and it's still killing my nips. It gets ok in the middle, but by the end, they're on stabby fire!

I'm getting decent amounts of milk though. Nowhere near the 700-1000 that this paper says I should be getting, but oh well. What I'm making is plenty for now... Yay :)
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Feeling a little less sore. Haven't needed a Percocet in 2 days. The ibuprofen has been enough to help with the pain.... And I could sleep actually laying down last night... Woooo
I've been sleeping sitting up since getting home and using a neck pillow. Whenever I tried laying down... I couldn't get back up on my own without pulling something down there that sent sharp pain through the area and laying on my side caused my right side to ache really bad.
Since that pain has settled some, I tried sleeping flat last night on my side and felt mostly fine and could get up by myself too.

Just need to continue to go slow and not do anything to make the pain come back. I hate not being able to pick Oren up though. I have pull him on to the couch or lift him just slightly, but that is it.

You really don't know how much you use your and until you can't use them.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Better, but not great

Currently pumping before bed. Been keeping track of just how much I'm getting and it has increased the last couple days. Still not anywhere close to what this sheet of paper says it should be at, but oh well.
I do need to pump a little more though. Maybe try every 2.5 hours and see how that goes and if I can get these boobs to produce a little more. Just difficult to do when you have little kids and not wanting to feel like you're living your life by when you need to pump again.
It's been pretty,good So far, but I can see this becoming a burden quick when dh goes back to work and it's just me.

Speaking of, dh tweaked his back again today. Its not as bad he says, but still bad. Poor guy.
He goes back to work in 2 weeks. Sigh... Not sure how ready ill be for that, but not much Choice and we're lucky that he could take off for 4 weeks.

Ezra is still good. Was fighting sleep tonight for some reason. I held him when,i wouldn't settle and of course he went right to sleep. Awww.... Wish i,could hold him longer, but gotta pump and not safe to hold him while I sleep.
Can definitely see why people bed share. We did a few times with Oren, but it's just not safe which,is why,it was only a few times when,we were desperate.

I think he's gonna be purposefully smiling soon. At least i hope so lol

Definitely think he's gonna have brown,eyes like the,other 2. His eyes are already pretty dark like theirs were. MiL was hoping for another blue eyed baby, but that's not gonna come from us lol. Dh's genes are strong, but not that one.

Hmmm, looks like I could upload photos from my phone to here, but the files are too big and it would take forever. Will try to get some more photos posted soon...ish.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

700ml? Yeah right...

According do this pumping log I have... I should be pumping at least 700no by the 32nd of week 2.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA.....
yeah, I wish. Maybe if my left boob worked a bit better I could get that much, but I'll be lucky to get half that amount.
Well, I did get half that yesterday.

It's just frustrating to,not have boobs that work like they should, but at least I can get something. More than I'm sure a lot of women can get and would love to have, so I can't complain too much about it.

In some tmi news... Pooping still sucks. My poor butt feels like someone took a razor blade to it. And I'm sure I'm giving myself hemorrhoids by trying pathetically to push it out. Did manage to get some out, but my gosh, did it hurt like hell. Really should have taken the miralax and stool softeners more often.

Ezra is still doing well. Still sleeping a ton like newborns do. Getting lots of sleep smiles and he has a cute dimple on his left cheek. Still can't tell if he also has one on his right. Kind of neat that Zoe and oren have left cheek,ones and Ezra could be right only.

Zoe and oren are just completely smitten with Ezra. My gosh, so they just love him. Zoe really enjoys helping out as much as we let her and you can tell oren can't wait for Ezra to be able to play with him.

Oren is getting better at communicating what he wants. He'll point, then point again. With sil and her little baby, he kept pointing at the floor,wanting sil to sit the baby on,the floor with him. When she did, he would sit there with her and want to play. So darn cute. Just love the way kids are just drawn to each other naturally. Wish it was like,that as adults.
How much better would the world be if we all just wanted to be near one another and play.