Sunday, June 17, 2018

Keto Diet starts tomorrow!!

And I'm super excited to get it started!!
Didn't get everything purchased since DH has a work party he had to buy stuff for. So that's taking up half of our fridge space right now. Anyone with a french door fridge (side by side) knows just how little space you have to work with.
Had to play real world tetris to fit everything.
But that's on Wednesday so it won't be like that for too long at least.
Got the majority of our meals though so we should be ok.

Not sure if we're going to inlaws place today for Father's day. Either way, I have to make something for DH for his lunch. We'll see what happens.

Anyway... just really excited to start eating better and hopefully feeling better and losing weight. Looks like so many people have success and not always with the scale. What I mean is that.. someone could be down 10lbs, but a before and after photo looks like they've lost a ton more. That seems to be pretty common on keto diet. The scale might not move or move much, but the inches come off.
Took our before photos to have on hand so while we're doing this, we won't get discouraged if the scale doesn't move.

We have a lot of possible cheat days coming up though. Well..cheats if we want to. Zoe's and Ezra's birthdays. My birthday, DH's, Halloween, thanksgiving, etc. It's gonna be difficult, but I'm sure once we start seeing results, it won't be so hard to stay on track or get back on track if we do cheat.

There's also a wedding coming up in August. DH's cousin is getting married. Not sure if I'm going since I may have to stay home to watch the boys, but if they get a sitter to watch kids, I'm gonna need a dress to wear! Told DH that I'm waiting to get anything b/c oh... I plan on being a smaller size by then!
I may post update photos here if I'm feeling brave enough.
____

And in other news.. SiL (the one with the BiL that I don't like) is pregnant! Her doctor put her on metformin for some reason (she said why but I can't remember). Metformin ended up helping her lose a lot of weight and well apparently helped them get pregnant too.
They always came off like they didn't want another one, but I guess they changed their minds.
I may not like BiL and SiL gets on my nerves too, but I'm happy for them nonetheless. So excited for the kids to have another little cousin :) FX that everything is ok and that SiL doesn't have that horrible constant morning sickness again. I know what it's called.. I just can't spell it lol.
AND hopefully other SiL gets pregnant too. From what MiL has said, she's had a few more early miscarriages :( I really hope she gets another one bc she's such a great momma and person.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

It's only Wednesday!

It's only the middle of the week and the kids are already driving me crazy! But it's not Zoe, it's Ezra.
The child is a whining machine.
He's in a phase that he thinks he can just scream-cry to get his way and it's just soul draining.
Not proud to admit it, but I've done a lot of yelling these last couple of days. Need to reign it back though b/c it certainly doesn't help anything.

Oh And today we were supposed to get our fridge fixed. Our 2yo fridge that stopped working.... POS.
But nope.... can't get it fixed b/c a part they need is on back order and they have no fucking clue when it's going to be available. Awesome.

We were hoping it would be fixed so we wouldn't have to worry about room when we started our new diet, but nope.
I'm gonna go through the other fridge and do a massive declutter. We put most of the opened pickle jars in there, but I think I can make some room.

We're doing the keto diet... which is just the primal diet with a sparkly new fad name lol.
I'm gonna miss carbs and sugar, but it needs to happen starting next week. NEEDS to happen.

Oh but first... we need to finish off this bag of Dole Whip mix! MUAHAHAHAH.
If you've ever been to disney and had a dole whip... you know how delicious they are!
You can buy a big 4lb bag off amazon for 20something dollars. It's supposed to be a for a big ice cream maker so you use the entire bag of it, but people figured out the measurements for home use.
I bought an old fashioned ice cream maker as well and we had it for the first time the other day and it was delicious! Just need to get more ice so we can have it again :D
May use the ice cream maker to make sure keto friendly ice cream too.

What else what else...
Potty training Oren.
It's going about as good as it can. Lots of peeing and pooping in the undies and pullups but he does pee in the potty too and he pooped in it yesterday for the first time. Yay :)
He did poop in his undies though. So gross having to clean him up after and trying not to smear it down his leg when taking the undies off. B/c oh no... he can't have normal turds when he goes in his undies. Nope.. it's gotta be super mushy!
 Being a bit lazy today and just have him in a pullup. Still getting him to sit on the potty, but at least I won't have to worry about a soggy urine filled underpants... or poo filled one.

Lemme rant for a second.
I'm so sick of the double standard and idiot men. I don't say that as some kind of "woo feminism!" crap. No...
I say it b/c of morons who cheer on teenage boys for sleeping with their female teachers.
Like.. no.. that's fucking disgusting.
Oh I get that teens are hormones on 2 legs.. boys and girls, but that still doesn't make it ok.
These same jackasses with comments like "Where were these teachers when I was in school" (seriously.. that exact comment is ALWAYS said).... would be flippin their shit if it was a teen girl and male teacher.. or hell.. a teen boy with a male teacher.
Adults having sex with teens IS GROSS and anyone trying to excuse it is just as fucking gross and I really hope never have children of their own.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Major Mom Fail!

So... I thought today and tomorrow were half days. NOPE!
Yesterday and today are.. with today being Zoe's last day of school.
Yeah.... she got out of school at 11:30 yesterday. At just after noon, I get a call from her school. I see caller ID and think to myself as I'm reaching for the phone "Is she sick again?"
NOPE!
Get a Hi... it was a half day of school today and Zoe is still here.
Me... OH SHITE!
Felt sooooooooooo bad and still feel sooooooooo guilty about it.
She as the lat child still there /sob
And later in the day, Zoe got this serious look and looked at me and said 'Ok mommy. Remember. Half day tomorrow. Don't forget in your head!" lol

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Had myself a breakdown

I don't know why it happened, but it did.
Zoe had an end of the school year party. I hadn't planned on going to it, but decided to go. Kids loved it and it was all great. Near the end, the boys were acting fussy b/c they didn't want to go, but meh. NOthing major.
Then we got home and the whining started and continued... and continued some more and it just kept building on me and I could feel it making me physically sick. I could feel my blood pressure rising and it wouldn't come down.
DH got home and it just escalated and I couldn't shake it and he certainly didn't help b/c he started getting annoyed at the kids for whining so much and.... yeah. I managed to keep it together until after dinner and then I just had to go lay down and cry and cry and cry.
Sigh... I went to bed early too b/c I just didn't feel well and I needed to. I needed to be alone.. to be left alone. I needed some peace.
Thankfully I feel normal this morning.
Just surprised to be honest b/c the kids whining isn't anything new, but it all just piled on to me yesterday and for some reason I couldn't just shake it all off and it broke me.

Sigh....... sometimes you just need to be alone for a moment to catch your breath or cry your eyes out.. ya know?

Monday, June 4, 2018

Last week!

Zoe's last week of kindergarten. Wow. Seemed like when I was in school, it went by sooooooo slooooooow and hers just went by so quick. And not sure if times have changed, but it sure did seem like she had days off all the damn time too.
I'm sure that probably has changed. Less money now so they have to take more time off to save money b/c this country doesn't put education first.
I seriously think they don't b/c it's not beneficial to them to have a smart population. They're hoping to keep the majority stupid and ignorant b/c they're easier to manipulate and control.
Just a damn shame.
Anyway...
They have a party tomorrow that I'm not going to b/c I'm not dragging the boys to it. It was slightly easy before when Ezra was happy to sit in his stroller, but now? Pfft, NOPE. I already told Zoe that we wouldn't be going.

Anywho... just looking forward to sleeping in! Even if it's just for 30 more minutes. It's going to be awesome!
And not having to change clothes every day! Yes, my lazy ass is looking forward to being a giant dirty bum in my dirty ass clothes with my little dirty children and not as much laundry to do!
Sweet, dirty bliss.

And yep, I had something else I wanted to mention but it flew away to never be remembered again.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Sick kids

Uuuuuuuugh. Could my kids stop catching colds and stomach bugs? A house that's not covered in puke would be great!
Thankfully they're better now, but last week was gross.
Zoe's school called to say she was in the nurse's office. I went and picked her up and glad I did. She slept for the rest of the day and woke up the next day with an ear infection.
She's ok now and back in school AND... I forgot to send her with her backpack and doctor's excuse. Sigh. Mom fail right there.
Oh well.. she's in kindergarten and doesn't have homework anymore so pfft.. I don't care.... but I do :P
I'm sure I'm not the first mom to forget.

Also..our not even 2yo fridge decided to crap out on us.
The freezer started to make a noise and warming up. I think the fridge part too was warming up. Noise stopped after I unplugged it, but it's not cooling like it should. Awesome.
Have someone coming in on Thursday to hopefully get it fixed. Having 2 fridges and all that space spoiled me! I need it back! lol

Back to Zoe.
She only has 2 more weeks of school left.
I can't believe it's already over with. Seems like it just started.
I can't wait though. I know they're going to drive me flippin crazy, but I can't wait to sleep in! Even if it's just another 30min... I want to sleep in!!! I know the kids will love it too. Especially Oren and Zoe.
I plan on actually exercising then too and starting Oren's potty training. Won't have any excuses not to do it and I think he's ready for it. He's just being stubborn.

What else...
DH wants to go on vacation this summer. Talked about going up north to a beach in Virginia so we could vacation with his friend.
Dude.. we spent a TON of money going to Disney. No. We don't need to be spending even more going to the beach up north.
I understand that he wants a week off to go wherever. I would love to go to the beach too, but we need to save up for the back porch that has been put off for years.
Plus his car needs to be fixed and who knows if our fridge can be fixed and how much that will cost.
NM anything else that might come up.
Vacations are important... but we don't need to be spending more than we should going somewhere we don't need to go.
Just b/c his friend moved closer doesn't mean we MUST see them every summer or some shit. They'll understand if we can't go.
I'm tempted to just tell DH to go alone and I'll stay home with the kids. I'll be driven crazy, which isn't anything different, but at least he'll have some time away to unwind and relax.

Sorry my thoughts are a bit everywhere right now...
So dieting. I think I'm going to try cutting calories. I know low carb works, which I'm still doing, but I do think I need to cut calories too. Downloaded an app to help me keep track. Just need to remember that I'm doing this. I hate doing it though b/c just knowing I can't eat as much makes me want to go eat. I know I'm not hungry, but it's like a survival instinct..... like my body and mind feels panicked b/c it thinks it's going to go hungry.
I just gotta muster up as much willpower as I can and stick to it though.
I NEED to lose weight. I have the body of a very unhealthy 80yo woman and I plan on sticking around to get some grandbabies! lol

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Ranting about my brother part 2

I couldn't hold back anymore. So I let him have it through messenger. Not all of it, but some. And of course he had to come back with "Waaaah, poor me. You just don't understand! It was everyone else!" HORSESHIT.
I told him off again and blocked him. There were a lot of fucks I used and I just don't have anymore to spend on him.
He can try to bullshit people that don't know him, but not me. I blocked him on facebook. I just don't want a back and forth with him anymore b/c it's just pissing me off and he's toxic. I am tired of it.
Just...... Ugh No more.
They wanted to break contact with everyone..... then wish granted. Block you and you and you. Go live your selfish fucking lives and pretend the rest of us don't exist anymore b/c you got your wittle ego and feewings hurt.