Saturday, May 23, 2015

Well poop

Ok, SO Tuesday is going to be the start of better eating.
Completely forgot about Memorial Day which means cook out with the fam.
Oh well, one more day isn't a huge deal in the long run. I'm so excited to start though and get this weight off.
There was a story the local news posted about a woman that lost over 80lbs in only 7 months by just changing her diet... no exercise. That's incredible and she looked amazing.
And there is another woman that was part of Zoe's DD group who went from 220something? to 150something. Not sure how long it took her but it's still an incredible accomplishment and she looks stunning. 10+ years younger and amazing.
I hope to have those results one day too :)
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Told DH about the 2 bathing suits I want to buy for next summer WHEN I'm skinnier and he said OK. lol
Went ahead and ordered another tankini top from kohls though in a 18w. Hoping it won't be too big.... again, this is why stores need to carry more plus sizes. Some 18w sizes are way too big for me, while others in the same size fit me fine. Going by the measurements given on the site though.. 18w was the way to go. Kinda depressing since I had gotten down to a size 14 for a brief period... sigh.
I'll be there again.

Anywho.. ordered a shirt for DH that was awesome and ordered Zoe a cute butterfly dress... all for just over $10 :D YAY for Kohl's cash and promo codes! lol That $10 was a couple bucks for the dress that the codes didn't cover, shipping and tax. Woot!
Really wish these places would stop charging so damn much for shipping.
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We went to the pool on Thursday. DH took Thursday and Friday off so he'd have a nice long weekend.
That was fun and both kids seemed to have a lot of fun. Zoe liked going in to the kiddy pool more and Oren was very relaxed in the floater and then eventually w/ me holding him. He actually fell asleep on me. Awwww
He was farting up a storm though and sure enough, had pooped his swim diapers.
Which brings up a point... why don't they make swim diapers for smaller babies? Or if they do, why do they not carry them in stores? The smallest we found started at weight 16lbs or something like that.
They did the job and contained his poop for this most part but still.

Anyway...it was a really nice afternoon spent. We got some sun, got to lounge in the pool and just have a really nice family moment together. No pics though. We forgot to bring the camera. Oops.
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Zoe took her last dose of antibiotics this morning. YAY!
Good news is that the last couple of days, she's taken the medicine willingly. WOOT! She still didn't like it, but she finally figured out that it was easier to just take it willingly and not be forced to do it. Thank goodness b/c we all hated that.
If she ever needs this again, hopefully she'll remember to just take it good and not fight it lol.

We're totally going to get her a new toy for everything she had to go through lol. Will have to hit up the consignment store to see what they have :) We bought her a cute $5 plushie turtle from Kohls too that we'll be giving her. $5 for a normal size plush animal is a great deal. They also had a bear, elephant and a whale if anyone is interested and has a Kohl's near you.
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Right now, I'm eating a small bowl of homemade mint chocolate chip ice cream. YUM!
No, not a healthy version lol.

Saw a video on Buzzfeed with a very simple recipe.

1 pint heavy whipping cream. Whip it until soft peaks
Add 1 can of sweetened condensed milk. Blend.
Add flavors of your choice.... I wanted mint chocolate chips so during the whipping process I added a tsp of vanilla extract, and 2 cap full of peppermint extract. After it was whipped... I chopped up half a 70% dark chocolate bar and added that along w/ the milk and blended it all.
Put it in a container and leave it in the freezer for 6hours.
SO stinking delicious!!
It has the same consistency and texture as store bought ice cream, BUT since it is full fat, it leaves that greasy feeling on your spoon and lips. I don't mind it but I'm sure others might be a bit freaked at the fat content.
Wondering if regular whipping cream would have the same results but without the greasy aftermath.
Anyway... it's REALLY good and super easy. I just have a cheapy electric hand mixer that I used to whip it and it all only took maybe 10min to do.

Whenever I make this again (which won't be any time soon since I'll be trying to lose weight :D ).. I'll use just a little more peppermint extract. You can taste it but the mintiness is subtle.
Really recommend everyone to try it at home if you're craving some ice cream but don't want all of the added other junk in store bought stuff and you don't have an ice cream maker.
This one is perfect. Has the perfect amount of sweetness and like I said.... same consistency to store bought stuff. Creamy and not icy at all.

Want to make more to bring to the holiday cookout :)
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We got home late last night. DH's grandfather is sick so we went over to inlaws house to visit and eat instead of going to a restaurant. We didn't leave there until 9 and got home at 9:30.
Oren woke up at 10, was fed and didn't really get back to sleep until after 10:30.
He slept until 6am this morning :D
He usually goes in to his deep night time sleep at around 8-9 then starts fussing/waking around 2:30-3:30. DH will wake and feed him then and he'll go back to sleep until about 6:30.
Anyway... being able to sleep in was nice.. or well... my version of sleeping in.
I still wake up at every noise he makes and he made a few like he was going to wake starting at around 3:30. I'd get up, give him his paci and then lay back down.
I do this every night and will eventually just get up when the amount of time between him making noises gets closer together.
It was the same this time too, but it just lasted until 6 this morning :P

As a result, I pumped about 7oz this morning. Got just over 5 on my right side and almost 2 on the left.
Wish I could get that much every 2 hours :P I'd have a freezer stocked enough to last until he's 2... I could stop pumping and just enjoy my free time again instead of worrying about needing to pump all the dang time.
Sigh.. a girl can dream. lol

Oh and speaking of kids sleeping... Thursday night at 3:30am (right after I was done pumping) Zoe woke up crying. I eventually went and checked on her and just knew she wasn't going to lay down and go back to sleep in her bed (well.. her little nest on the floor), so I brought her to bed with us. Times like this is when king size beds pays off.
Put her in between DH and I and of course she ended up mostly on my side, kicking and pushing me in my back.
I probably only got 1 more hour of sleep while DH and Zoe slept like babies until 7:30... and they only woke up then b/c Oren started to fuss. *grumble*
The price of being mommy I guess lol.
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So this ended up being a long post. Pretty sure there was more I wanted to post about  but oh well.
I'll post the dinners I'll be fixing once we start low carbing.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

What now dangit

I'm spotting. I dunno if this is going to turn in to a period or just wonky ass hormones causing it.
Could be b/c I've been having to pump for longer to try to keep my supply up.
Whatever... it's something I can't control so yeah.. just whatever.
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Found a few low carb meals I'll be trying out next week. Yay Pinterest! lol
I have no imagination when it comes to cooking so yay internet for being creative for me! :D
A lot of it seemed to be Mexican based though. Mexican food isn't bad or anything, but I need more variety. I did save a one pot thing though that looks really good.

Before then though... yay Alton Brown for a yummy blueberry pound cake. Also want to try this easy homemade icecream recipe I saw. :P lol

Metformin strikes again

So, I woke up last night at midnight and puked up dinner. So fun :\
Almost had a out both ends issue, but thankfully that wasn't the case. That sounds more like food poisoning, but I'm pretty sure it was just the metformin.
So yeah....BLEH!!

Yesterday though... I wanted to eat EVERYTHING. Not sure if it's b/c of the pumping or what but man... I wanted to eat eat eat. It never felt like I was full or satisfied.

Also yesterday, not really sure if it was pee or vaginal discharge but yeah... had that all day long too. Thank goodness I do wear panty liners b/c I would've had to change my undies a few times yesterday bc of it. Not sure what's going on there. Sounds like something hormonal w/ everything else that's going on.

Ok, next week is definitely going to be the start of eating better.
It's been a bust so far and I think my problem is not having the meals planned out. I've just been winging it and most of the time.. I don't feel like cooking so I've been going for the easier stuff which hasn't been very healthy.
So yeah...going to take some time and find some good low carb healthy meals to make for next week and stick to that. I have to start getting this ball rolling already or I'm never going to reach ANY kind of weight loss goal for Christmas.
Christmas is still months and months away but with how my body loses... I need as much time as I can get. Plus... I just want this for myself.
Yes, I want to be healthier for sure, but it's mostly for vain shallow reasons. I want to be skinny and buy cute clothes and feel good in my body :D

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

UGH

I swear...toddlers man.....
Zoe has a fascination with DH's desk and DH still hasn't learned to keep important stuff out of her reach. Just caught her trying to open a bill... and she had opened up a new ink cartridge. Thankfully she didn't figure out how to really open it though. Don't think printer ink would come up out of the carpet like acrylic did.

Will have to empty out his drawer where are the pens and whatnots are.

Anyway, today wasn't all that bad. She did take a 2hr nap today. WOO!
Doesn't help that we're having to wake her up in the morning to give her the medication. It figures she would want to sleep in when we need her up early :\
Hopefully she'll still want to sleep in once we stop the meds. This momma needs that extra 30 mins in the morning before Oren starts to wake.

Oren is doing well. Lots of smiles when he's in a good mood. Lots of screaming and crying when he's not lol.
Not really much to say... 2m old... baby isn't doing too much :P
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My milk supply is all over the place. Sometimes it's back to normal, other times it's lacking. I think it's b/c I'm not drinking enough but I've really been trying. Every time I get up, which is often, I drink half a glass of water. *shrugs*
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On the swimsuit front... looked more on amazon. I really love those vintage looking bathing suits, but again, without trying on.. no way of knowing what my body would look like in them.
Really wish I could sew. I would totally make my own stuff.
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There was something else I wanted to mention but I forgot and need to pump. Oh well :P

Monday, May 18, 2015

Being fat sucks

Well, obviously being fat sucks for most people, but it especially sucks for women.
Why haven't stores picked up on the fact that there are a bunch of us fluffy girls out there that want and need cute clothes too? Why must they put all of the decent looking plus size stuff online? Bc as we all know... all clothes fit everyone exactly the same.. especially true for big girls! AMIRITE?? :\

Went to Kohls and oh look.... absolutely nothing cute. Should've paid more attention when I was on their website and saw the big "ONLINE ONLY" tag on the tankini tops that I liked... sigh.
I still got a pair of shorts though and DH got some much needed work clothes so it wasn't a totally wasted trip.

Seriously... I tried on every top they had and hated every single one of them. Looks cute on the hanger... not so much when filled with all of this.

And why are all of the junior sized clothes cute as shit and the women sizes all drab and matronly?? It's like stores only think that teen girls want to look cute and girly or are the only ones that want fun graphic tees with superheroes on them.
Oh wait... there was one shirt that I liked... just a simple women's t-shirt w/ some purple butterfly and skulls on it..... frickin $30.... WHAT??? The shirt was cute but not $30 cute.

Anyway... just reinforced my motivation to lose weight. I want to be able to go in to any store, see something cute that I like, try it on and be happy with how it fits.

Oh AND... why are all bathing suits so damn ugly with the fugliest prints on them?
On the hunt for a cute top... went to amazon to see what they had.... OMG the Chinese ones are frickin ADORABLE!! Of course my fat ass would never be able to fit in to them (even the ones that are in my size), but still.... cute as hell!

Like this one.... it's a one piece but still.. how awesome is it?
http://www.amazon.com/Pattern-One-piece-Swimwear-Bathing-Swimsuit/dp/B00JM0LIGO/ref=sr_1_3?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1431980639&sr=1-3&keywords=swim+dress

You'd never be able to find that in any store... at least not for a reasonable price.

I know I've complained about the lack of cute decently priced clothes for big girls before.. it's just frustrating.
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Anyone watch Vampire Diaries? It's a bit of a guilty pleasure right now. Watching it on Netflix.
It's a decent show for what it is, but hot damn is it annoying too.
Everyone in the town is super rich and apparently has a ton of money to buy outfits for every little stupid themed dance at the high school or whatever event.
The main chick... Alaina or however it's spelled is SO damn annoying. Everyone just falls head over heels for her. Sure she's gorgeous, but good lord is she a whiny bitch that thinks the world revolves around her and it does in the show.
Anyway... I'm mostly annoyed by the high school dances and events in the show. It's just so unrealistic. I know how stupid that sounds with a show full of vampires and such lol.
Having a 20's inspired dance? No problem because we all have elaborate flapper dresses and gear and know all of the dances back then and will totally dance them all like professionals!
A ball at some random guy's house? Sure no problem! I just have this ole giant princess gown in my closet gathering dust on it.
And no one even blinks an eye when a bazillion people have been killed in the town. That part reminds me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Tons of people die... no ones gives a shit.
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Anyway... just had a need to rant today apparently lol.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Not so bad...

So, antibiotics for Zoe is about the same. Well, she's not struggling AS much but she's still crying, screaming, and tries spitting it out during. She gets over it quicker now though which. well.. at least there's that.
She's so getting a nice big toy after all of this lol.
Her rash isn't as red any longer. Still feels all rough and bumpy but not nearly as bad as it was. It's weird feeling her back or torso. Just doesn't feel like skin b/c it's so bumpy and dry feeling. Exactly like a really fine sandpaper. So weird.
Other than the rash though... she's still my Zoe and she's not contagious anymore so yay.
OH! We had NO POOP yesterday from her! WOOOOOOOOOOO lol
I'm just hoping that her poops from now on are more turdy now. Pls pls be more turdy!
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Bathing suit shopping is so damn annoying when you're a big girl.
No, I don't want my tits falling out of a top.
Please make the tankini top long enough to cover up the fat.
How about making the straps a little thinner b/c ya know.. us fat asses don't like huge tan lines either.
And how about offering more than bikini bottoms or super short tight short swim bottoms that might as well be bikini bottoms. Make them loose and make them frickin longer!
I know they do make those and carry a few in the store and guess what, they're ALWAYS out b/c that's what women frickin want!!!
I did buy a top from Target yesterday, but I don't like it. It was just the lesser of the suckiness. It hugs my fat stomach a bit too well... no hiding the rolls in this thing :\
Want to go to Kohls to see what they have. Looked online and they look to have more flattering tops that I want to check out. I wanted to return the Target one if I found something else and told DH this, but he wasn't paying attention (as usual) and washed it already. Oops.

Anyway.... I still need some bottoms. Will have to order some online since stores are always out. Walmart has some good cheap ones. Doubt the ones I have even fit still. They were tight before so I can imagine that I won't even be able to fit in them now. Depressing but I'm confident and determined that that's only a temporary setback :)
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Oren is doing well.
Few nights he's been sleeping longer at night. His waking time is usually at 3, but a couple of nights he's woken up at 4:30.
Maybe he'll be sleeping through soon.
He's so darn cute... our hearts melt whenever he smiles.
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My milk supply is still all wonky. Seemed to be going back to normal for a few days, then there were 2 nights when Oren woke up later and of course just that little bit screwed it up b/c my boobs are fickle bitches. So yeah, the next 3 or so days will be trying to get it back up to where it was... sigh.
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Anywho... I gotta take a shower while Oren snoozes. I'm sure as soon as I strip down, he'll wake up and start crying lol.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Just.. 16 more to go

16 more doses of the antibiotics....... ugh. I hate hate hate giving her the meds. Wish she would just take them, but of course it can't be that easy. Why can't they just make medicine for kids that tastes good to them. Pick 3 flavors and that's it... perfect those flavors and then voila... no more kids fighting their parents tooth and nail when it comes time to take them.

Poor Zoe. She's still acting fine. Her rash has spread to her legs now and definitely all over her arms and torso.
Her bum is still hurting her too but thankfully the raw spots are only small little area so it's not as bad changing her. Well it still is, but she's not screaming from pain, just squirming around everywhere.
UGH, this needs to get better quicker b/c this is so damn stressful.

I dunno if it was the stress or what but I was HUNGRY today. I ate ate and ate some more.
I'm usually not an emotional eater, but I'm certainly turning in to one it seems.