Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Nothin much

CD12 and a whole lot of nothing is going on with my OPKs.
Shocker I know :\

So many women are getting their BFPs now though. Happy for them, but... still reminds me of how broken my body is. Just wish there was an easy QUICK fix to it. I really do think losing weight would help, but good lord it's difficult.
Now sure, I haven't been too strict recently, but I've been pretty darn good for the majority of the time. Should think that would help with something.

Anyway... it is what it is I guess. I need to be patient and give this new dose of metformin a chance to do its thing.
I can report some good news. Absolutely zero side effects from the new met dose. No stomach problems at all. WOO :)

My sleep has been HORRIBLE lately. I actually slept well a couple nights ago, but the next day felt so totally drained that I needed to take a nap. It was a very light nap and for only 30mins but it was nice.
And then last night.. ugh. I couldn't get in to that deep restful sleep until around 4am. Keep in mind that I was in bed at 10pm. So I was tossing and turning all night long.
Feeling ok now. Zoe is down for her 2nd nap and I'm going to try to stay up so hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

Has the main stream media just completely brainwashed people in to automatically blaming pit bulls for every single dog attack?

I ask b/c we went to the vet yesterday for a checkup on our cat.

We were in the waiting room and this woman had a small dog w/ a healing LARGE bite wound on its side. She was talking to the woman beside her about what happened.
This is mostly what she said.

"He was bitten by a pit bull, no no I mean a German Shepherd. They're fine together most of the time, but they fight every once in a while. The vet just told me that dogs will be dogs."

Wait.... WHAT??? SO wht I gathered from her comment was that the other dog was either hers, or one she comes in to contact with a lot. How the hell can you mistake a German Shepherd for a pit bull??? It just amazed me that her brain instantly went to pit bull even though she knew it wasn't. WTF?

I just get so upset over people making pit bulls out to be devil spawn. They are big powerful dogs. That's how they were bred. But they are NOT automatically mean dogs.
Dh's family had a pit bull mix. Super sweet gentle dog. Had a friend that had 2 pure bred pit bulls. They were super hyper but super sweet. They even raised pet rabbits in their yard that the dogs never bothered.
Why? B/c they were good dog owners.

Stop blaming the breed and start blaming ignorant or just stupid ass owners that don't know how to raise their dog right.

Friday, April 11, 2014

It's a beautiful day

Zoe is napping and it's a gorgeous day outside. Need to put a bra on, stop being lazy, and go for a walk once she wakes up. It probably won't happen though.
She woke up at 6:10 this morning and UUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
She did go back to sleep for another hour after much fussing, but the damage was already done. I couldn't get back to sleep even though I tried.

I'm feeling ok now, but can tell that my body really needs more sleep.
Should fix myself some tea. It's the only thing we have that has caffeine in it. And hey... green tea is supposed to help with weight loss so... woo! lol

Speaking of that.. my weight was 200.4 this morning on official weigh in day.
Oh and at my doc appointment, I actually found out I'm slightly taller than I had thought. I did have shoes on so that probably added maybe an inch at the most. But I'm 5'4" according to them! lol
I always thought I was around 5'1-5'2

New met dose this morning was ok.
Before I would take one in the morning, then 2 after dinner.
Now it's 2 morning, 2 after dinner.

Everything seems fine so far though. No racing to the bathroom w/ explosive diarrhea.

That did happen yesterday though. I took my usual 1 in the morning before my appointment, then took another w/ some lunch and BOY my body did not like that one bit. Purged EVERYTHING I had eaten and then some. Yikes.

I can still feel some aches coming from the right ovary. Doubting anything will happen but it's still early so we'll see.

I really wish Zoe knew how to blow her nose. It would make cleaning up the boogers SO much easier.
Her nose will start running, so we'll go to clean it and this LONG gross slimy booger will come out of her nose, and then break. And when you go back to wipe more, it gets back on the tissue so it will pull back out even more and then break and snap back in. I just wish I could get a grip on it and pull it all out at once!
She is getting better though. Day by day. So glad she never developed any kind of fever.

Going to try to get some good photos of her today. Have this cute little outfit all picked out for her. And if I'm not being lazy, I will post some of them here :D

Thursday, April 10, 2014


Haven't picked up Zoe yet even though my exam was done an hour ago. SHHHHH lol
I'm about to go. I was just waiting for my new prescip of metformin to be filled.

No clomid or femara yet.
My doc upped my metformin dose to 2000 a day and she wants me to wait about 4-6w to see what it does.
I'm cool with that. Hopefully it will help to make this weight loss a bit less frustrating which in turn will help me ovulate on my own.

If I still feel like I need help though, I'm to call in and ask for it and she's gonna give me femara. ONly at 2.5mg dose to start with though which is a bit disappointing. BUt hopefully by then, maybe that would be all I needed.
It sounded like she's willing to go up to 5 eventually but whatever.
Hoping I won't need anything though.

Anyway, I'm excited to start on the higher dose of met. Hopefully it won't cause any kind of stomach issues though. I'm finally at a point to where my current dose doesn't bother me at all. We'll see though.

And yep, have my next annual already scheduled. They're finally up to date on their pap smear exam thing. Only have to do that every 3 years. I don't see what the big deal is. I still have to have a breast exam and the internal thing... add a pap to that and meh... not a big deal IMO lol.

My weight was 202 there. UGH.
It was 200.4 this morning though. WOO
So glad that our week long junk food binge eating didn't cause too much damage on the scale for too long.
Need to stop sabotaging my efforts to lose weight.
It's like, WOO, I'm almost to the 100's! Now lets go out and eat an entire container of oreos, some ice cream, cake, etc etc. :\
I need to smack my hands and tell myself NO! No Lisa! Bad girl! ;)

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

It's on like donkey kong!

So my annual is still on for tomorrow. Not exactly looking forward to getting my boobs grabbed or having a swab and fingers up my junk but, that's the life of a woman :\
Guys just do not know how easy they have it.
Oh poor them, they have to eventually get a couple of fingers in their ass and sometimes have to get their balls cupped. Big deal!

Anyway, other than the routine business, I hope the other stuff goes well. Really hope she doesn't decline my request for increase in met and to try a higher dose of clomid or femara.

I still remember how she was so hesitant to give femara in the first place and would NOT give me more than a 2.5mg dose of it. Grr.

We'll see, we'll see.

I always feel so awkward there though. All the other patients look so put together well, and there I am in my flip flops, t-shirt and jeans :P hehe

My right O area is really aching right now. Could just be some cysts, but... who knows at this point.
OPKs aren't showing much which is normal for mostly anyone at cd6 lol.
Really hope this aching means something good is happening.
We just need one egg body. Come on!! Get with the program already!

Accidental trolling

Anyone ever have that happen before?
Where you make a comment somewhere on the net and people get all offended by it even though you meant no offense? Or hell, that it wasn't even offensive to begin with but for some reason they thought so.
Yeah, that happened to me the other day.
I said something that wasn't exactly sensitive, but it certainly wasn't offensive either.
People got all up in arms over it and... ya know.. I said fuck it and went along with it just to piss off these overly sensitive idiots.
I didn't realize I was trolling until someone actually called me one.
I have no regret over it.
Our world is just too frickin PC now and people get SO offended by absolutely fricking nothing. You have to walk on eggshells everywhere and even then some asshat is going to get offended just b/c.

If it ever happens again, you know what... I'm going to troll again just to piss off these stupid ass people that want to make not even a molehill in to a mountain.

That's if I have the time and Zoe is napping ;) lol

In other news... Zoe's nose is still runny. Good lord there's so much snot!!

She is a trip though. She started gnawing on her toes the other day LOL. I know it's gross, but just the fact that she figured it was a good idea to get at a broken toenail really amazed me :P DH isn't flexible enough to do that and I certainly don't do it, so she figured it out all on her own.

Called and left a message with my doc office asking if I should reschedule or not.
AF is still here today. It's only just spotting, but I'm sure I'll still be spotting tomorrow too.
Hate waiting for them to call me back. Always feel so anxious about it and I can't take a damn shower now b/c I know as soon as I get in it, they're going to call :\
Grrr.... and I really need to trim things up down there for tomorrow (if it's still on). That's going to take A LOT of time. Guess I'll have to wait for DH to get home before I can shower.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Waiting game

Cd5 and already wish something would happen LOL.

Going to need to call my doc office tomorrow. AF should be gone by then for the most part but I may still be spotting a little. Will have to ask if I need to reschedule.

Took an OPK today :P lol
It looks how they usually do not that I was expecting anything different.

Haven't felt that pin prick feeling in my right O area any longer. Must've just been some minor cysts or something.
I am starting to feel some pains on the left side though. Actually just started not that long ago.
And n/m what I just said.. just felt some sharp pain on the right side.
I do feel some discomfort and aching if I'm laying on my stomach and I favor that side. Not sure what that's all about.

Still PO'd that I won't be able to try femera or clomid this cycle. Oh well I guess.

My weight is still up a little bit, but thankfully not as much as it was hanging out at when we were eating terrible.
So much for being pregnant or being in to the 100's by now.
So disappointed with myself.

Zoe is feeling much better.
Her nose is still runny and she still has a phlegmy cough but she's getting over whatever this was.

She has become A LOT pickier with her food. Trying to get her to eat something is a challenge.
We usually put her plate of food on to the coffee table and let her eat it that way so she can move around, but lately, all she wants to do is play... and beg food off of us (nm that we're eating the same exact thing lol).
May have to start putting her back in to her high chair again.... but then she'll just start doing her weird grinding thing. I dunno... guess we'll see.

She is growing up so fast though. Most of the time, I still look at her and see my baby, but then she'll do something or just look a certain way and I have to acknowledge that she's getting bigger. She's becoming a little girl and UGH.... it breaks my heart. Don't get me wrong, I also can't wait for her to grow up, but I also want her to stay this little.
Need to take more photos so I can look back and remember all of these moments b/c damn... are they going by fast.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Writing it all down

Ok.... I'm going to document everything I'm feeling my body doing. That way if it does something unexpected again, I can look back and maybe get a better idea. If it all ends up being nothing, that's fine too... just want to obsess a little ;)

For starters.. I'm on cd3. First day of AF was medium, these last 2 days have been SUPER heavy. Heavier than my provera induced AF which is usually heavier than normal AF.

I've been feeling some pin prick type of pains on my right ovary since yesterday cd2. Other than that though, no aches, but do have that sense of bloat in my lower abdomen area.

Boobs have remained sore since they first started to get sore last cycle. It's not all the time that I notice it. Usually right after I take my bra off, or if DH/DD grabs or presses them.

Hmm, I think that's it for now. I may start OPKs even sooner this time just to be sure. Maybe cd6.
We'll see.