Monday, September 28, 2015

MIA.. again

UGH I keep forgetting to post! I always mean to and I always get distracted somehow.
Figured I'd just do it this morning before I forgot again.

So I've been feeling really off lately. Had no idea what was going on, but thought I was getting sick.'s something hormonal going on with my body.
How do I know that? Well.. I started spotting a few days ago on CD20. Not just any spotting... but a dark dark dark brown old blood stuff.
Yeah.. BLEH!
I thought maybe it would brighten to fresh blood, but nope... it stayed that really dark old blood color. There wasn't any kind of smell or anything thank goodness... but still not sure what the heck was bleeding and why it seemed to take so long to finally come out.

Ok this is going to be gross so... yeah... TMI alert...
I first noticed the spotting after I had pooped and wiped. I wiped and thought at first that it was just poop, but after thinking about it and seeing the spotting afterwards.. no, it was definitely blood.

I dunno... it was just all really strange. I've never had spotting that dark before.
There wasn't a ton of it and today, it seems to have stopped or almost stopped.
SO yeah... no idea what all of that was about.

Zoe and Oren are both doing well. Zoe is whinier than ever and SO dramatic, but it amazes DH and I both just how smart she is. Before kids... thinking of a 3yo... you don't think that they'd be as smart as they are and then actually having one.... it's incredible and really eye opening.

Oren is moving around great doing it army crawl. Have to block off the living room area b/c he is ALL over the place and of course trying to put everything in to his mouth lol.

They're both getting so big and UUUUUGH I want another one!!!!! DH is happy with the 2 we have and so am I, but I just can't shake the feeling of wanting another.
I'm tired and stressed, but I love being a mom and I love my babies and want another.
If DH gets his way though... no more babies for us :(

Oh well I guess... but I know I'll always wonder about that 3rd LO.

Have a lot of work to do on a costume dress I'm making. Need to get working on it.... just wanted to mention it quick. Will post photos when it's done and once I'm all done up :D
We're going to a local new comic convention in town this weekend and we're going to geek it up!

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Come on body... gimme a break.

So this week was supposed to be me exercising again. Yeah, that didn't work out. I've been feeling SO off this week and I'm not sure why. Not sure if I'm getting sick or if it's something else. I'm thinking maybe just something off hormonally b/c I'm breaking out a little here and there. I dunno... whatever is going on, I wish it would stop already.
Also, this week... I've realized just how much I comfort eat. I knew I did it to some extent, but not THIS bad.
Anyway... next week... I don't care if I have a full blown cold... I'm exercising and eating right no matter what. I got under 200lbs and my weight went back up again. I'm right at 200 and yeah.. I don't want to see a 200 weight again. I've come this far, I don't want to screw things up b/c I'm not feeling good and have a few off days.

Anywho... we're all doing pretty well here. Oren is still waking up twice at night which sucks, but not much we can do. If we let him cry, he'll just wake Zoe up and that just adds to the big headache. I'd rather just get up with him for that 10min or so while he gets a bottle and then get back to bed. It's really not that bad, but it would be nice to sleep through the night again with no interruption.
He's army crawling all over the place and does planks and downward dog yoga poses all the time lol. He's getting around SO well now. Still slow, but he gets to where he wants to go.

Zoe is doing great too. She's pretty much potty trained. Most of the time she'll go all on her own. She's had a few accidents here and there with pee and poo, but it hasn't been too bad. I think just sometimes she forgets that she's not in a diaper anymore and when she starts to pee, she feels that she's just in undies. She's rushed to the potty midstream a few times lol.

Threenager though.... she has earned that title and then some. Holy moly is she a drama queen and then some. It's just like a stereotypical angsty teenager that creates drama over nothing.

Oh, Oren does have a cold. It's just a minor one.. mostly just a lot of snot.

And yeah, not much has been happening here. My birthday is on Sunday. Can't believe it's the time of year again already. Man, where does the time go?

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Not pregnant

Yeah, after taking the last test I posted about here... I knew I wasn't pregnant. I still tested a couple more times though :P lol
I had some really light orangy spotting on Friday night. Nothing for most of Saturday and then AF arrived Saturday night.
And lemme tell you... this AF is a BITCH!
It is not like that nice one I had last time where it only showed up when I used the bathroom. Oh hells no. I'm cramping, bleeding all over the place and ruining some undies in the process, feeling bloated, getting headaches... the works. I took for granted those nice periods with no cramping!!!

Anyway.... so yeah....
Talking to DH some more... he seems really against actually trying for a 3rd. I get that... he's happy with what we have and so am I, but sigh... I dunno... I just have the feeling of wanting just one more. Just one more.

If it doesn't happen, ok... if it does... yay :)

SiL is having a girl!!! YAY! I knew it :D
I kept saying that the heartbeat indicated girl lol. Everyone kept saying boy though. So happy for her. I think as soon as they found out they started shopping lol. Can't blame them at all. Baby stuff is too cute to resist... especially baby girl stuff :)

Going to start working on a blanket for her soon. Need to finish the one I'm working on. Stop procrastinating and just finish it already.

Think there was something else I wanted to mention but I can't remember... so here are a few photos

My blue, green, teal hair

And a few photos from our apple picking trip.

Friday, September 4, 2015

So.... what's going on?

Either my body didn't actually ovulate, I didn't ovulate until later than I thought OR... I'm pregnant and tests just aren't showing it yet.
I highly doubt the pregnant part. I'm just not feeling it. I have continued testing... actually went and bought more tests, but there's been a lot of nothing on them.
I do not like these new FRERs. Every single one of them, I can see the faint faint test line and of course it always makes me a little hopeful even though I know what it is and that it's just a shitty test.
Come on FRERs... get your damn act together already. You used to be the #1 go to test, now you're going down shit road.

So yeah... no idea what's going on with my body right now, but can't do much about it except for waiting and seeing what happens.

If I ovulated a little late... my period better not start tomorrow. We're going apple picking in the mountains and that would royally suck if it started. Will wear a giant pad just in case though.


Zoe just keeps amazing us with the things that come out of her mouth. It wasn't that long ago when her vocab wasn't all that great, now she's putting together full sentences and just... man.. she's a little girl now. It's so crazy how fast they grow up. One minute they're still babbling, the next, they're telling you exactly what is on their little mind :)

Oren is doing great too. I think his other bottom front tooth is coming in. I can't imagine how uncomfortable that must be for him. I've given him a little bit of tylenol here and there to help.
He seems ok most of the time though.
Just wish he would sleep through the night already. Or give up one of his feedings.
Oh well... it could be worse so I can't complain too much. My body has gotten used to waking up with him.
It's probably why having another doesn't scare me so much now b/c I've gotten used to not sleeping as much as I used to lol.

Trying to fade out semi-permanent hair is annoying! My hair is an ugly mixture of pink and brassy orange with some blonde at the roots thrown in there and just ugh. It looks... stank.
I've been trying to gently remove the color by using clarifying shampoo and today tried a vit C wash. A lot of color has come out, but when we come home tomorrow and on Sunday I'm gonna be doing it all day long. DH is off on Monday and I want to bleach my hair and hopefully dye it teal/green/blue then :D We'll see what happens, but FX that it works!

And for my due date buddies baby... the one who has cancer. She is doing really well so far and is responding amazing to the treatments. Hoping that it keeps going that way and she keeps getting better and better :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

It's a...

Negative today. DH bought me a pack of 3 from the store and I couldn't resist but take one this morning.
Could still be too early, but I think I'm just waiting for AF to show up. We'll see though.
Going to try to wait until Thursday to test again if AF is a no show. Will have to put the tests up and out of site.
I'm actually kind of hoping I'm pregnant even though I'd be fine if I wasn't too. Just the thought of having another, even though I'm sleep deprived, sounds... right.
We'll see what happens though.

Oren is now slowly but surely army crawling and Zoe is not happy that he is coming after all of her toys lol.
She'll share when I explain it to her... a dozen times, but she is very possessive with her bazillion toys.
Just need to make sure she keeps the smaller ones out of his reach.

Learned that one of the babies out of Oren's due date group has a rare form of aggressive cancer. :(
My heart is breaking for that baby and the family. I can't even talk about it with DH b/c I keep choking up. Heartbreaking.... just so unfair.
5months old... how the hell does a 5 month old get cancer? The only things that should be wrong with a 5mo is possibly teething and a poopy diaper. Poor sweet baby girl.
She has to be in the hospital for at least 5 months getting aggressive chemo in hopes that it will help. Gawd, I hope it does.
I can't even imagine going through this and frankly I don't want to ever know what it's like.
Our group is going to come up with some money for a gift card to help them out. I'm crocheting a blanket and will make a hat too.
Whatever we can do to help out in their long battle ahead.
So anyone reading this... whatever you believe in.. however you do it... please send them prayers, good vibes, wishes, hopes. Treatment has only just begun... but I'll update whenever there is news about her.