Wednesday, February 29, 2012

So happy

We're getting an eye exam tomorrow. We have new vision insurance and we can get new glasses once a year so we're taking advantage of it.
Filling out the form for it... and I got to circle yes for "Are you pregnant"
I'm such a dork b/c that made me SO frickin happy to circle that yes rofl.

My OB appointment is at 10 tomorrow so I'll post again after that to share how it went. Hopefully well! Gosh, I'm so excited to go!
Feels strange to actually be excited to go to the doctor! heh


I hate it when you wake up confused about something.
I woke up thinking it was Friday for some reason o_O
And when I fully woke up I just couldn't figure out WHY I had thought that. *shrugs*

DH slept out on the couch last night. His snoring has gotten worse and he knows it keeps me awake. I don't hold it against him b/c he can't help it.
Even though our couch is comfy, it still made me feel bad.
I have to admit though... I did sleep better. Not great, but better.
I'm still getting used to having to sleep on my sides. I get SO uncomfortable though having to stay on them. My arm and leg on the side I'm sleeping on starts to hurt, my back starts to hurt and just BLEH! Gotta do it though.

Had sex last night! WOO! It's been a while. Even though I have like almost no libido right now... it's still nice to do it. The sex was great, but afterwards... I started to get this weird sharpish ache in the uterus area. It lasted for a couple of minutes and then disappeared. Not sure what the hell that was.

Welp.... so much for the no shitting on the carpet. Woke up, let dogs out, turned around and BAM... HUGE pile of cat crap on the carpet. I dunno how the hell that cat can crap that much but whatever. I just yelled at him and picked it up. I'm just so over it.... if it remains just the poo... I can deal with it, but if he starts w/ the pee again, I will go on a rage.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Didn't want to end today's blog posts on a ranting note so yeah.

Before taking a shower, decided to see if I could record LO's heartbeat. He/she was cooperating b/c it didn't take too long to find :)

First one... I have it for a little bit and then it disappears. The static after is just me trying to find it again heh.

And another... you can hear a swooshing HB as well. Maybe the cord? *shrugs*

And finally.... just wanted to show the gel I use. It's just regular ole Aloe gel. The stuff you use on sunburns. I think we bought this on our road trip last summer at the Dollar General. Just wanted to show that you don't need any kind of fancy expensive doppler gel.

A bit pissed

First before I get in to my vent....  just noticed that I've upgraded to an avocado! YAY! heh


I was thinking earlier when I was still waking up how frustrated and annoyed I am with my body.
Now don't get me wrong. I am THRILLED beyond belief that I am pregnant and got pregnant naturally which is a frickin miracle.
But I started getting frustrated when I thought back to all of the chemicals I had.
With how well my body has been with this pregnancy and handling it..... I just can't help but feel so annoyed.
Why the hell weren't we successful before? I do not believe for a minute that every single damn time there was some sort of chromasomal problem. There is just NO way. The very last chemical was only with one follicle reaching maturity. All of the others were with multiple ones. There is no way every single one of them, every single time was a bad egg. Just no way.
My lining was more than excellent every single time so that wasn't it.
Was it my progest? Was that the real problem?
If so, then why wasn't it a problem this time? I didn't start it until 9dpo.

I guess with my personality, it's just so frustrating not having an answer, ya know? I feel so bad for women with unexplained infertility. I mean at least I knew somewhat what was causing my own. I can't imagine what it would be like having it go unexplained. Everything working like it should, you have a normal cycle, you ovulate, and still.. nothing. It's frustrating me even thinking about it.


YAY 16w! As I said before... this last week went by pretty quick. No idea why but I'll take it! :)

Still no noticeable difference in my body. BOOOOO lol Eh... probably won't be for a while. Baby seems to still be pretty low.

Here's 16w first compared to 13w. Please excuse my ratty hair. I literally just got up out of bed and took the photo lol.

I think I'm getting hungrier. Thought it might just be b/c I've started to not eat all of the junk I used to, but I dunno. My stomach was grumbling for some food early this morning, but all I wanted to do was get back to sleep lol.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Kinda quick

This last week has gone by pretty quickly. Great great great! I can't wait for my appointment on Thursday! I know I'm probably not gonna get an u/s but I just wanna hear them pick up the heartbeat and tell me everything sounds great heh.

I hope every week is like this past one. Just go by quickly! Not that I'm not enjoying being pregnant and having the experience (when I'm not worrying)... I just want my baby!
I had a dream last night that apparently I was being induced or something, and was only 1 week away from having it. I was SO excited and SO freaked out at the same time hehe. It was such a great dream. So much better than m/c ones that I'm still having every once in a while.

I mentioned to DH last night that I can't wait to start feeling movement. He told me that his boss told him that it feels like someone is thumping you with a finger. I'm sure that's when baby is a little bit bigger. I think I read baby is only about 4inches right now. Still super tiny so I'm sure any sort of kicks and whatnot aren't very strong. PLUS I have a lot of fat in that area so that might be masking some of it as well *shrugs*

I hate sleeping on my sides :( My hips and knee on the side I was laying on would start to ache like crazy last night. Was terrible and it kept waking me up. Going to try falling asleep on the wedge. I don't think that's going to work though. Even though I like falling asleep on my back, I still wake on my sides and w/ the wedge under me, that's going to be uncomfortable.
Just have to hope my body eventually gets used to it which I'm sure it will.

Oh update on the cat. Can't remember if I did an update so my bad if I repeat something.
I had to take the soothing collar off of him. He's not used to wearing a collar and this one was irritating him. I didn't realize how much until I saw a bald red patch on his neck where he was constantly licking. So I took it off of him. Unfortunatly, that area is still bothering him b/c he's still licking it and it's gotten worse. We're probably going to have to buy a cone to put on his head.
Poor kitty.

As for the pooing and peeing. I've been spraying the 2 spots once a day w/ the Comfort zone spray. It seems to be working b/c no more incidents so far. Shit better work for frickin $31 for a tiny ass little bottle of it.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Wedding... again

UGH immigration is just so..... so....... retarded. I know that's not a great word to use, but it's the only one my brain wants to come up with right now.

My mom married a Korean guy. Like actually from Korea, Korean guy.
So they had to get all of his papers in order blahblahblah.
Lemme tell ya, I do NOT blame people that come here illegally, b/c it is SUCH a pain in the ass process and frickin expensive as hell to become a legal citizen!!
Not saying it should be super easy but damn, come on.

And then... my mom has to prove that she and her new husband are actually living together AND they HAD to have a wedding which they did today.
I don't know why they had to have a damn wedding when they're already frickin married, but apparently immigration are a bunch of frickin morons that need picture proof of it. I'm surprised they don't want photos and videos of them screwing just to prove they're actually together.
I know that's crude, but damn... hell, not even Americans have actual weddings so why should immigrants be required to have one??

Anyway, my mom looked really happy today so it's all good.

In other news.... MY NIPPLES ITCH!!!! *sobs*
I know I always complain about it, but it's a constant source of torture. Especially atm because they're tender so I can't scratch them at all!!!
I put lotion on them this morning but that did nothing!

The weird hooha feeling has disappeared. Must've just been the muscles down there or something, I dunno.

Listened to HB again this morning. Took a while to actually find it. LO was hiding.
SO close to finding out the gender, yet so far away still. A month... MONTH!!! UGH!
People in my due date group are getting early gender scans and it makes me SO jealous! lol I wanna know dernit! :P


To the nursery that is.
DH has finally moved one of the big pieces of furniture out of the nursery. Have a few more things that need to be moved as well.
I can't really paint my mural yet until we find out the gender. DH wants to paint the walls I'm not doing them on certain colors and w/ the mural in my head... I'm going to need that done before I get started.

No more scary tree ladies in the nursery :(
DH REALLY wanted the stickers taken down b/c he just didn't think it would look right. He was pointing out areas that were already coming loose and then.. yeah.. we both started to just take them down.
Breaks my heart to see it taken down. I just spent SO much time on them.. sucks.

RIP scary tree ladies

I could just redo them straight on to the wall, but I really don't like completely starting over on the same thing.
I have a new idea though!
Since it's the year of the dragon and that will be our LOs chinese zodiac sign... then I'm going to do a big foresty scene w/ dragons in it :D
Not sure exactly what to do yet. I was thinking maybe a big sleeping dragon surrounded by fantasy creatures and smaller dragons, but meh, not sure if I entirely like that idea b/c the sleeping dragon could end up looking dead or something lol.
Another idea... have a foresty scene with lots of smaller dragons w/ other fantasy creatures. Think I like this one better. Would probably be more work, but still kinda easier design-wise for myself.
Gonna have to really sit down and sketch it out soon so I'll be able to change what I don't like etc and then get the outline on the wall.

Speaking of DH painting the other walls. He's a big fan of Weezer. Not like a super crazy fanatic or anything, but he really enjoys them.
He wants to do the walls striped w/ Weezer Blue album blue and Weezer Green album green.

Just... no.... no. The colors are WAY too bold to do 2+ walls in.
He wants to do the blue green combo if it's a boy. If this lil one is a boy... he better pick a couple shades lighter than those. lol

Saturday, February 25, 2012

I swear I think....

...., that really light fluttering/bubbly feeling could be movement.
I don't feel it all the time, but it feels the same whenever I do actually notice it.
It's a really really light sorta fizzy feeling is the best way I can describe it. It feels like it could be in the correct area too.
Just so difficult to tell since I have nothing else to compare to heh.
I really hope it is movement :D

Hooha area is still feeling strange. I think it may be some sort of UTI. I really don't know what to make of it. It doesn't burn when I pee. I don't have to go more often, it doesn't hurt when I go... it's just this dull ache.
I'll have to trim the hedges down there before Thursday just in case they want to do an exam. Not sure why but just in case.

Been so lazy today. I didn't go to bed until 1am last night and I still woke up when I usually do. Well I slept in just a little longer, but I was only laying in the bed awake TRYING to get back to sleep heh.
I just took a 10min power nap on the couch heh. It should keep me going until bedtime :P


Nice and clear out today thank goodness. Yesterday was so ugly.
We're not going to Babies R Us though. I decided that it's really not worth to go to right now since we'd only be looking and the side of town it's on w/ the traffic. It can wait until we're ready to start buying.
There is a place called Baby Warehouse though that's not that far that I wouldn't mind going to though heh. We may be on that side of town tomorrow, not sure if they're open then, but won't hurt to swing by just to see.

I was looking up Kawaii diaper reviews last night. The majority are really positive. There are a couple that don't like them, but I'm sure that would be the same for any diaper. I think in this case.. the cost plus the positive majority far outweigh any kind of negative comment on them heh.
I already know the next batch of diapers I'm going to get. They're the Pure & Natural. They're a little smaller so should be great for a newborn just in case the others are too large.
I'm still gonna buy some different brands (when they're on sale), but from how things are looking, I'm probably going to stick with the Kawaii brand.


My hooha or whatever is still feeling weird down there. I'll bring it up on Thursday. Maybe it's the start of a weird UTI... even though I don't have any other kind of symptom for it. But then again I've had a UTI before and had no symptoms of it then so.. yeah. Just hope it's nothing serious.

Nipples still itchy like crazy and now they're tender as well so can't really scratch.

Getting a lot of acne.... including the dreaded backne *cry* The back acne is terrible as far as I can tell and it's really irritating my back making me have constant back itches that I can't reach.
Acne on my face seems to be getting worse right now. Damnit... I want Mask of Pregnancy, not Mask of Pizza Face Puberty!

Gagging seems to have let up a considerable amount. It could just be temporary but I'll take it.
I actually ate a lot last night at dinner and had no nausea or need to gag after.

Hair doesn't seem to be falling out as much as before. It still falls out some, but no nearly as much. WOO! lol
I know that's only temporary, but anything to slow down the hair loss is awesome.

Friday, February 24, 2012


Lovely title eh? hehe

It started yesterday. I started to get a dull ache down below. I've gotten this before so didn't really think much of it.
Then I got a couple of really sharp aches down there. Only lasted for maybe a second but it was enough to cause me to gasp.
THEN, when I was sitting on the couch... I swear it felt like either a muscle down there was spasming or like the baby was trying to kick and punch its way out lol. Pretty sure it wasn't the baby since what I was feeling seemed pretty low (like almost to vag opening low), so I think it was just muscle spasms.
It wasn't painful, just weird.

I'm still feeling some ache coming from down there now. After I take a shower, I'll lay on the couch for the rest of the day.

Storms and diapers

The weather here is just so screwed up.
It's a miracle that not everyone is running around sick b/c of it.
One day it's cold like it should be, the next it's mid-70's and gorgeous out. Well today, it's about 70 again and thunderstorming outside!!! A Thunderstorm in winter! WTH?

Oh well... I do love that refreshing feeling in the air. But the thunder I could do without. Our old dog is terrified of it and starts pacing and panting and gets on your last nerve. Oh it's sad for other people, but after having to deal with it for about 13y... yeah.. it's just annoying now lol.

I got my bumGenius diapers yesterday! YAY!
They're heavier than I thought they'd be. They're not super heavy or anything like that. Like I said, just heavier than I thought.
They're pretty cool though. Actually seeing them in person, I really like them.

Here's the pocket diaper. It came w/ 2 inserts. Smaller one is newborn and I guess the other is regular? *shrugs*
Just showing the snaps all opened up
The inserts. The larger one also has snaps to adjust the size which is really cool.
And showing where you actually put the inserts. The opening is in the back of the diaper.

Here's the free time. The absorbant pads are actually attached to the diaper.

I can't wait to get the other ones in the mail! They're so cute w/ the adorable prints.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


One more week before my next appointment. I can't wait. I really wanna hear what the HB sounds like on their doppler.

I used my own 3 times today. I know I know, but I couldn't find it this morning and that got me worried.
I tried again about 30min later. Nothing at first and then I heard it really faint.
And then I just did it again and picked it up nice and clear.
Plus I just wanna hear if the HB sounds right to them. I have no idea so it will be good to hear if it sounds normal to a medical professional.

DH finally told the rest of his coworkers that we're expecting.
From what he tells me, they probably all knew already anyway.
He had told a few people and I guess they shared the news b/c he had someone congradulate him that he def didn't tell lol.
Oh well.... I hope they have some nice free stuff for us :P lol Hand-me-downs sounds good to me so long as it's free *nodnod*

Gonna ask DH if he wants to go to Babies R Us this weekend. It's in an EXTREMELY busy part of town. If you don't live or work over there, you avoid it at all costs. That's how terrible the traffic is in the area, and of course that's the only place w/ a Babies R Us.
So it's going to take some convincing to get him to go lol.
I think I really want a preg pillow. I thought I could go without one, but finding out that I can't lay on my back so soon... yeah... I need something.
My poor dog won't be able to sleep next to me any longer, but he has DH he can snuggle up to heh.

Plus I want to start looking at all of the furniture and getting an idea on what we want/need.

Bought some more cloth diapers yesterday.
I bought them from . A lot cheaper than bumGenius and some super cute patterns.
I bought 4 diapers. Total came out to about $34 and then the expensive ass shipping made it $47. BLEH. But that's still about the same as I paid for just TWO bumgenius diapers.
Hopefully these are just as good in quality b/c if so, I'll be buying a lot more from them.
Told DH that I was going to start buying more. I'll probably buy more every other week until we have a nice large stash :)

Oh and although I do really like prefolds, I think I'm just going to probably stick with the one size fits all type. Just seems easier to me.. not having to worry about buying the prefolds AND the covers AND the little strap clamp thingamajig to keep the diaper on etc etc.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

An Orange!

Just noticed that I've graduated from being a lemon to an orange! WOO! hehe

Used doppler this morning to check for heartbeat. Yes, I'm still super paranoid so I'm using it more now that I've actually picked up the hb.
It took a little bit but I finally found the very quick heartbeat of the LO. I swear it sounded like it would've gone perfectly with the Bonanza theme song lol. Sounded just like a horse running and was the perfect beat for the song hehe.
Seemed LO was moving all around though. Having a good ole time in there.

DH and I are talking about all of this more now. I love it. It just makes this all a lot more real. It doesn't seem as surreal as before, but still really hasn't totally sunk in yet.
I'm positive that once we know the gender or when I start feeling def movement, this will all just hit home. I can't wait :)

Was looking at Babies R Us website yesterday. Just at the cribs. Didn't even bother looking at anything over $200 lol. They still had a lot of options though. I really like those 4 in 1 cribs that can be changed in to a toddler bed, day bed, & a full size bed.
BUT I'm not sure if one of those would be right for us.
If we're going to start trying again not too long after this LO is born, then would that kind of crib really be for the best? I dunno.... I'm sure we'd be fine if we went that way and it would save at least a little bit of money down the road.

I asked DH last night if we were just going to totally deck out the nursery w/ changing table, dresser etc. His response "Yeah, why wouldn't we?" I could've SQUEEd!!! lol
I'm really not one for shopping, but for some reason, buying baby stuff just makes me so excited! Guess it's just another confirmation that this is going to happen ya know? Or at least I hope it does. (boo doom & gloom)....


As for that lovely problem I described yesterday. The stretched feeling is gone, but the itching is still there. It's not as bad as it was thankfully.

Pregnancy is just so glamorous heh

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Oh pregnancy....

How embarassing you are! lol
Ok so... I'm gonna be honest and very blunt here, so yeah.. this is your only warning.

My asshole itches!!!
Pretty sure it's hemorrhoids. I don't feel anything swollen back there so must be inside? Dunno what else would be causing the itching.
It also has this feeling like I've taken a massive poo and it stretched me out a bit too much.
It doesn't hurt or anything, just has that feeling to it.
But yeah, the itching is terrible b/c come on.. who the hell wants to scratch their butthole :P
Thankfully it's not a constant thing or else I'd be in the bathroom trying to relieve it... and using up all of my handsoap to wash my hands :P rofl

My nipples are still flaky and itchy too. Thankfully the itching also isn't constant, but the flaking is. It's weird running a finger over them to scratch and feeling like you have sandpaper nipples :P
I really need to start lotioning them up on a more regular basis. It might not solve the itching problem, but it will help w/ the dryness.

Gagging is also acting up today. I had to spit out my B vitamin. It started to dissolve in my mouth before I could swallow and I started to gag on it. BLEH. I spit it all up on my chair and floor.
Ate something and feel a little better, but I can tell that my stomach isn't great right now though. May eat some toast.

Oh and as for eating. Yeah.. primal is just so far out the window right now. I do hope to get back to eating primal eventually, but right now, I am SO not worried about it. I do feel guilty sometimes b/c I know some of the things I'm eating aren't the best, but I just can't help it. My appetite has changed.


Thankfully week 14 seemed to go by a little quicker. Not sure why, but I'm not complaining heh.

Here's 15w bump compared to 14 and 13w

I really don't see much of a difference at all. The small bump I'm feeling under the fat is still pretty small. I think if I was skinny, I'd still only have a tiny bump.

It's ok. Even though I am eager to have a baby bump.. I guess it's a good thing that it's taking so long to get it. That way I can still wear my normal clothes instead of having to buy anything.
Called up the nurse yesterday and for the go ahead for the concert in May. WOOOO!
She just told me basic stuff. Like not to get near the crowds since b/c of mosh pits. Darnit... and I was planning on getting my mosh on too! ;)
She said going to a concert every once in a while shouldn't cause any harm.

DH bought the tickets about an hour after. Bought insurance on them as well. If we don't use them for whatever reason, then we get all our money back.
No telling how I'll be feeling then so it was extra money well spent.

I can't wait for it though!!! So many good bands are gonna be there and hopefully it will be great. I had no idea they did it last year as well or I would've wanted to go to that one too. If this is actually an annual event... I think this will be our yearly trip. Bring baby along with some really good ear plugs hehe.
Or eventually bring LO along when they're a little older :P

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Nursery sign

Just wanted to post really quick what I have so far. It really didn't take me long to actually draw it on... took me a while to just do it lol.
Just SO lazy right now and MiL came over for a little bit to pick up something so that delayed things.

Anyway... this is on the small portion of wall right when you walk in to the room.
The sign will say something like Ziggy's or Zoe's Room.

This is one reason why I decided to just paint on the wall instead of doing the sticker stuff again. The house is settling apparently and it caused what I put up to seperate from eachother a bit.
See all the white lines? Those weren't there before. So I'll be finishing it the same way as the sign. Just painting it straight on the wall.

It's gonna be easier and harder. Less forgiving to mistakes, but easier w/ no cutting of the sticker crap and all of that.

DH wants to color the walls that I'm not doing in Weezer Blue album blue and Weezer Green album green. SIGH.... if you couldn't guess, he's a big Weezer fan :P lol
The green actually isn't that bad. It's a really nice lightish lime green color, but the blue is VERY bold. He wants to do stripes which I don't think will look bad so long as the blue stripes are a lot smaller than the green :P


DH is just as impatient to find out the gender as I am lol.
We were heading out to grab some dinner last night and he said
"5 more weeks *groan*".
I didn't know what the hell he was talking about so asked him and then he said
"Until we find out what we're having..."

Dawwwww... Just think it's so cute. He's not really the type of guy that is comfy sharing his feelings or expressing himself a lot, so I guess that's why I find that and his other comments just so sweet.

I'm going to start working on the mural today. BUT, I'm not going to use the sticky vinyl stuff. The stuff is too expensive and too much work. I'm just gonna paint directly on the wall. Not sure what I'm going to do about what I already have up there. DH thinks I should take it down completely, but I worked too hard to do that lol. I'm going to try to just continue w/ just paint and hope it's not too noticeable.
I still want to make some spots a bit more 3D by using foam. Like on the wooden sign I'm going to do w/ baby's name on it etc.
So yeah, may not start painting today, just sketch everything out.

Friday, February 17, 2012


I broke down and bought 2 today. I bought a Freetime all in one and a one-size stay-dry.
I watched a video on the freetime one and it looked really nice. Not too difficult to use and just looked really promising to have and the one-size looks nice too. No video on it, but I liked the review I had read.

They're frackin expensive though. I bought these brand new, but going to def look around for some used ones to get it cheaper once I start buying more.
I know this is going to save us A LOT of money in the end, but damn, we're gonna have to spend a lot to begin with.

Baby stuff is so dang expensive!

DH mentioned to me that there's a concert in May that he really wants to go to. It's more like an all day rock festival which sounds really amazing.
At my next appointment, going to ask if it's safe to go to it.
I've read plenty of women say they were told it was fine, but I need to make sure that loud music isn't going to cause any harm to baby's hearing. I'm sure they're probably going to basically just shrug lol.
It would be great to go though. Korn is going to be there and I REALLY want to see them.
PLUS it could be part of our babymoon :D

Baby's heartbeat

Alrighty... after hearing how well the doppler picked up the heartbeat yesterday, I wanted to try to get a video of it today and YAY I did! hehe

First up....
You can hear how it's faint and then suddenly gets louder.
Also at the 9 and 29sec mark, you can hear a bump on the doppler. Other than breathing, I wasn't moving at all. Maybe the bumps were the baby moving/kicking near the doppler.. telling me to stop already! hehe

And a quick one. It was still pretty loud and then all of a sudden, nothing. Baby must've moved away. Just think it's so neat :D

And for comparison, here's the first video I recorded of what I'm sure now is the placenta. You can def hear the difference.

Am I feeling movement?
It could be nothing and obviously since I haven't been through this before, I have no idea, but I'm feeling some really really REALLY light flutterings down below. Difficult to explain what it feels like exactly. It's super duper light and I'm wondering if I'm imagining things lol. I def wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't just been messing with the doppler.

EDIT: Crap.... I'm actually 14w3d not 2d. DERRRRR

I tells time gud.....

Taco Bell

Isn't my fav food, but damn I was devouring that mess last night.
Had a family get together at frickin 7pm at taco bell to discuss DH's grandfather's birthday party.
By the time we got there, I was HUNGRY!!! I got 3 chicken soft tacos and 1 regular hard shell taco and tore them up! lol
Thankfully eating that much didn't get me sick.

Won't get in to it, but UGH there was so much drama last night too. Lets just say someone was acting like a lil whiny bitch and someone else got tired of hearing the snide remarks aimed their way.
Yelling cussing and just frickin ridiculous over absolutely nothing.
Oh the joys of get togethers.

Everyone.... and I mean EVERYONE is hoping for this LO to be a boy.
Could be, but I wouldn't hold my breath hoping for it lol.
I just know some people are going to be disappointed if it is a girl. I know it's going to be just a quick passing disappointment but still.
Like I said before... even though OF COURSE DH and I just want a healthy baby as does everyone... both of us are also hoping for a boy.
I didn't intentionally hope for a boy, it just happened. We're gonna love whatever the little booger is though :)

I told DH yesterday that he was gonna be a good daddy.
He doesn't think so though. Awwww :( He thinks that just b/c he doesn't have any kind of talent to teach our kids that he's not gonna be a good dad (his words). Awwwwwwwww :(
That's what tutors are for damnit! lol
His friend that we vacationed with doesn't have any talents either and guess what he does? Yep, he gets his kids tutors.. like for guitar lessons.

A little later I started telling DH how our children are going to have his wit/humor and how I'm going to be surrounded by little hims. That made him smile and crack a couple jokes too. I know that made him happy. They can tag team and come at me with whatever they have... I'm ready for it! lol

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Constipation suuuuuucks

I don't mind it as much as diarrhea, but constipation isn't a walk in the park either.
Just spent the last 15mins in the bathroom trying to push out a turd... and still didn't do it! GRRRRR
Everything was going well at first, and then that last little bit kept turtle heading and would not budge! SO annoying!! I finally got tired of trying to push it out.
It didn't feel big... just.. stuck *shrugs*

What else has been going on that I've gotten to mention.
My nipples were itching like hell last night!!!!
It started with my left one then went to the right.
They sure as hell don't tell you about this when pregnant. It is terrible!! Thankfully my nipples aren't very sensitive right now, but it's still delicate skin so you can't scratch it like you want and then it just starts up again a second after you scratch it.
My poor poor nips.

Oh I stopped taking met yesterday. I still have a few, but decided meh.... just stop. Don't think taking 1000mg was doing much anyway and thought maybe they were actually causing the diarrhea I was having. Dunno if that's true, but whatever.

Feels like there was something else, but I can't remember now.

So impatient!

I was going to wait until next week before using doppler again, but yeah... I waited 2 whole days :P lol
I guess now that the LO is getting bigger and I actually know what to listen for now, it's much easier to pick up the hb.
I tried getting video of it, but LO was not cooperating and seemed to be moving around all over the place. It's all good. Just knowing he/she is still in there is good enough for me.

I found this SO sweet. DH usually goes out on Wed to friends house. He got home and we're laying in bed trying to get to sleep.
Out of the blue, he asks me if I feel any different with a baby growing inside of me. It completely caught me off guard. I just replied no, I feel normal.. which honestly, I really do other than some of the symptoms I still have.
So he said something like... I bet you will when you have a bigger bump right? I just laughed and said I probably will feel diff when I can feel the baby moving & kicking.
Few more words were exchanged and he said, we're gonna have a little breakdancer going by the ultrasounds so far.

Brings tears to my eyes. I mean just a random conversation where neither of us said much, but in his own way... it just shows me how excited he is. I know I've said it before, but he is going to be such a wonderful father.
He's not the most forward emotional type of guy, but he has his own ways.
I'm so lucky to have him.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Rough Start

So last night, DH and I moved some stuff over to where the cat was crapping. Can't get to the spot, can't crap right?
Well, it seems to be working so far, BUT, I woke up today and just UGH.
I looked around the house really quick for cat crap.. nothing so yay.
I come in to the computer room and look over at the doggy bed on the floor. There looks like there are wet spots on it. UUUUUUGH.
I'm hoping it's just from where the dogs licked, but nope.. I smelled it and sure enough, it's cat piss. It was on the dog bed AND looked like it ran on to the floor.
Fuckin awesome.
I picked it up, went back in to our bedroom where the cat was laying and rubbed the pillow all over his head and smacked him on the ass.
Pissed is not even close to where I was on the angry scale. RAGE is more like it.

I can deal with cat shit. Oh that pisses me off too, but it was hard turds so easy to clean up. Still gross, but easy.
Cat piss on the other hand is something totally different. Cats use their piss to mark for a reason.. b/c it stinks to high heaven. I am NOT going to deal with that shit. I am NOT going to have a home where I have to be paranoid about if the cat is going to start pissing everywhere.

I was ready to get rid of the cat right then and there. He's lucky we don't know anyone that can take him b/c he would've been gone.

I do love our cat, but I am not going to put up with this shit for much longer.
He needs to GTFO whatever it is that has crawled up his ass or he's gonna be living somewhere else.
I don't want that to happen, but if I have to choose between a clean cat piss free house vs keeping him... byebye kitty.

I went to petsmart and bought a pheromone soothing collar for cats and some spray that's supposed to do that as well.
The spray was expensive as shit, so it better work. Hoping the collar will since it was cheaper... but we'd have to replace it every month.

Situation is just so damn frustrating. DH already told me yesterday that we're not getting another cat whenever this one passes. And I would've been sad about that before, but not any longer. Cats are just too much of a hassle. Clean animals my ass. Oh sure, they clean themselves, but if they get it in to their heads to piss and shit outside of the litterbox.. there is pretty much nothing you can do about it.
THAT does not = a clean animal in my book.

Asked DH last night when he wants to start trying for more kids, and he told me we can try right away if I want.
I'm glad he's ok with it. He did say we're not going to use meds again though. And I get it. Hopefully we won't ever have to.... I will have to watch my weight though since that seems to have been my major problem.
Heh... I told him that we're going to have to get pregnant 3 months after baby is born so our kids will be 1 year apart exactly. He just looked at me like I was crazy lol.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

More kids

Going to have to have a serious talk with DH soon on when he wants to have more kids.
I'm not getting any younger and the longer we wait.. well.. we all know how that goes.
It's so unfair that women have such a short time frame of healthy fertility. Especially nowadays with couples waiting longer to start families. By the time they do... the woman only really has a handful of years left. Just seems like such a rush.

I'm going to be 33 this year. GEEZE.
I know at 35, there's not a switch or something that suddenly turns all of a woman's eggs to crap quality, but still... 35 is only 2 years away.
It'll be tough having children close in age, but I think that's what we're going to have to do.
I REALLY want 2 more children and  *shrugs* I just dunno what we're gonna do or what DH wants to do.
Like I said, going to have to talk and see what's up.


Happy V-Day everyone :)
I hope your DH's have something nice in store for you... if you're in to that sort of thing heh.

DH brought me home some plants yesterday. Awwww.... sounds cheesy but it is what I wanted :)
I really want a blue orchid, but I guess being V-Day they're all pink and whatnot. It's all good, it's still really pretty and I love it. Just need to find a better pot to put it in :)
And forgive the mess in the other photo. That's my card/craft table that is a total disaster area. heh

We're going out to dinner tonight too. Thank goodness b/c I had no idea what to cook tonight :P lol
I'm not big on V-day other than getting some yummy candy but this one just feels extra special.

14 weeks. Wow.... I know I say that each week I hit but it is... it's a wow moment for me.
I started off the day w/ the doppler again and I did hear what I'm sure is baby's hb. It was faint once again though and sounded like it was WAY in the background, but it was much faster than the other hbs I was picking up.
Grow little monkey! GROW! heh

Here's my 14w belly shot. Decided to tighten up the shirt so you could gaze at my wonderfully gross B belly... sigh. Sounds like it's common in women w/ PCOS. No idea WHY, but guess it's just another one of the lovely perks of the condition... awesome :\
Lets compare to last week

Still a whole lot of nothin going on.. and yep... they're the same PJ bottoms hehe.

Monday, February 13, 2012

One more time

I tried looking for the HB one more time. Drank a lot of water and waited until I was about to burst before looking.

Found the pulse that I was getting before and then started looking around a bit more. Found a very similiar pulse all around down there, much fainter so thinking it could possibly be the cord? *shrugs*
I FINALLY found something though... it was very faint and I only got it for maybe 5 seconds, but it was faster and had that galloping sound. I couldn't get video of it b/c it was so faint and I moved just a little and totally lost it and couldn't find it again. Guess the LO didn't like all of that prodding around so decided to hide :P

I'm fairly certain it was the baby I heard... at least I'm REALLY hoping so hehe.


Alrighty.... I got a video of it so everyone could take a listen.

That's not the baby's hb right? I'm pretty confident now that it's not.

From what I've read, placenta will always be heard in the same spot which is what has been happening here.
Also.... placenta sounds more like whooshing (like in the video), while baby's is supposed to sound like a horse galloping and of course will be much faster.

So... yeah... back to trying to find it again.

I'm still positive that the very first time, I did eventually hear the baby's hb, but I haven't heard it again since.
Going to drink a bunch of water and try again later.

Oh, maybe it's the placenta

Maybe it's the placenta I'm hearing. It is always in the same spot. I guess it's a good thing that I'm hearing that though right? I mean I guess it wouldn't be pumping any longer if something was wrong would it? *shrugs*

My nipples are def getting darker. I can actually tell for sure now. Not sure if the whole area is getting larger though. They've always been kind big when not erect and when erect they shrink up a lot lol.
Now... it's like my nips are perma erect but not like how they used to be.... I dunno it's weird.
Nipples have gone back to being super itchy and flaky again. BLEH! SO irritating!

Oh speaking of nipples... I was looking through my Mayo Clinic book... and in the back, there is a drawing of a baby breastfeeding. It shows the nipple in the mouth and HOLY SHIT the nipple is like 3 inches long!!! WTF????
I scanned and uploaded the photo for your enjoyment
HOLY CRAP right??
Do nipples really get that long? I still want to try to breastfeed if I can but good lord.. it's going to weird me out if I have dangly long weirdo nipples! rofl

Feeling.. meh

I think I'm going to have to start snacking more often, just something small so I can have something in my stomach.
Nausea & gagging are still acting up pretty good. UGH I don't like talking about it b/c it causes it.
It's still not terrible, but certainly not fun either.

Still wondering if I am actually hearing the baby and not just an artery or something. I pick up a heartbeat WAY over to the left... and I mean, it is WAY WAY over. That first time I picked up a heartbeat... it was slower, and then I picked up a faster one which I'm fairly confident was the baby... now though.. *shrugs*

My next appointment just needs to get here already!! Let the professionals find it so I can stop worrying at least for a couple of days :P heh
Actually kinda hope they have a hard time finding it so they'll have to do an u/s. Hearing the hb is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but seeing the baby wiggling around in there is better :D

I think if I didn't have all of this stomach fat, I may have a tiny bump. Just hope it pops soon.

Can't wait to start buying baby stuff. I know I want to start buying cloth diapers at 20w. Since some of them are so expensive, just want to start buying them soon so it's not such a big one time purchase... although that might be for the best depending on shipping.

I'm starting to feel guilty for not eating healthy. I can't help it.. well I guess I can, but healthy crap just isn't appealing to me. Salad sorta is now, but fruit... meh, not so much.
I guess I should make a better effort in eating better though. Really need to start drinking milk again. I was drinking 2 glasses every day and then my morning sickness got a little worse and I stopped b/c ginger ale was the only beverage that seemed to help.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Back asswards

Feels like the symptoms I'm getting now are the ones I should've been getting in the first trimester.
I'm feeling really fatigued right now even though I had a really good nights sleep. And nausea is back along w/ the gagging except now.. it feels more like I may actually throw up (haven't yet though).

Is this normal?

EDIT: HA!!! I just realized that I totally screwed up the title. Wish I could blame it on baby brain but yeah, I probably would've still screwed it up anyway :P hehe

Weddings... bleh

So yesterday we went to a wedding 2 hours away.
It was on an old plantation that's right on the ocean marsh. Usual cost to get in is $20 per adult... yikes, but since we were guests of the wedding.. free.
I can't imagine how much they spent to rent out the section they did... holy crap!

This is the main house obviously. Def NOT where the wedding/reception was being held heh.
And here were some creepy buildings on the way to where the wedding/reception was.
We didn't get a photo of the wedding building. Looked like it was probably a storage building for supplies that came in by boat. It was nice though.

The day was already pretty chilly and windy as hell and it did not get any better.
The wedding was held out on a deck and all of the women guests were miserable. The poor bridesmaids and bride were all shivering but toughing through it.
FINALLY it was over and we got to go in. It wasn't heated inside though so.. yeah, it was still pretty chilly, but at least no wind.
We were sat at a table with the rest of the work folks that showed up.
Awkward for me completely. They're all SOOOOO friendly and chatty and have so much in common with eachother and I just don't have anything in common with any of them other than DH.
They were really nice and I hate that I couldn't bring anything to any conversation they had. I know I seemed weird or off b/c of that, but can't really do much about it.

The reception was ok. Free booze= happy guests lol.  Bad for me though b/c they didn't have much else. I got a small cup of sprite and that was it. I could've gotten more I guess, but I really do not need all of that sugar so decided to just suffer. I felt fine though. I had had a lot to drink before we left and I was totally running on that for most of the night.
Dinner was delayed 2 hours!!! UGH! I dunno WTH took so long to get that going, but everyone was starving by the time it was time to eat.
Oh yes, it's so sweet, the first dance...  no we don't need to see the groom dance with his mom or MiL... no we don't need to see the bride dance with hers either!! Just so annoying and long. No one gave a crap... they were just eyeballing the food trays behind them! lol

Anyway blahblahblah... DH and I left around 8:30. It was pitch black outside, cold as shit and windy!! HORRIBLE! They did have golf carts that were supposed to take people back to their cars, but nope... they weren't running.
Imagine having to walk past those creepy buildings in darkness... yeah... fun... hehe
I guess it would've been scarier if I hadn't been freezing. I was so cold I was shaking. Not just shivering, but seriously shaking all over. DH just laughed at me while he tried to keep my warm :P heh

Yaddayadda, we finally got home, went to bed, and now I'm paying for not drinking anything. Feel that dehydration headache wanting to come on and I can't drink a lot of water right now b/c it's once again causing some bad nausea. Good times.

I was really worried about my lack of hydration yesterday and b/c I was wearing tight ass pantyhose, so I checked hb and all is ok thankfully. Sounded like LO was floating away whenever I would finally get the HB. Would like float away, then come back, float away, come back. hehe

Anywho... that was my long boring adventure on Saturday. Today is going to be filled with grocery shopping and cleaning up the kitchen b/c damn.... it needs it bad!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Morning Sickness?

Guess I still have it. Still gagging and feeling nauseated a bit more too. It could be worse so I'm not complaining about it.

I found the HB for DH last night. YAY! Only thing is that I'm actually not 100% sure it was the baby's hb and not my own pulse being picked up. It was VERY clear this time and the doppler did actually record the rate which was between 120-130. I know my own hr is kind of high in the 140's... so *shrugs* Maybe it wasn't measuring it correctly, who knows.
It was in the right spot so yeah.. I dunno hehe.
He smiled when I did finally find it though.... while trying to pull down my pants.. sigh.. perv lol.

We have a wedding to go to today. Going to take something like 2.5 hours to get there so we have to leave all early which means I have to get ready all early. My hair is NOT easy to work with at all, and my face is oily so makeup tends to come off easily as well. Oh joy hehe

Saw DH's aunt last night. First time we saw her since they found out we are pregnant. She's super excited and almost patted my stomach until I said it was all still fat :P lol
She's def not the best person in the world, but her along with the rest of DH's family absolutely love children.
I do still plan on raising our child mostly primal. Yeah I'm slacking off with that right now, but I think it will be for the best. I'm not going to totally deny them sugary floury cakey shit, but it's def not something they'll be eating often.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Was that what I think it was?

Why yes... it was!!!
So I was going to wait until next week to try the doppler again. I was about to take a shower so figured WTH, might as well try.
So I stripped down, grabbed the doppler & aloe and laid on the bed.
I focused on the left side since that's where the OB saw the LO when she did the u/s last time.
Nothing at first, and then suddenly, in this one spot... there was a HB!!!!!
BUT it didn't sound like it was going fast enough. I guess it was my own? No idea... so I went a little more left and holy crap.. there's another hb and it's faster!! YAY!
I had the volume all the way up and it was clear as day. The doppler did pick up that there was a hb but it didn't measure it. And I lost it pretty quickly as well.
But still... I finally found the hb and holy moly I'm SO frickin relieved. YAY YAY YAY!!
That just takes takes so much of my worry away. I hope it will be easier to find it now so I can have that reassurance when I need it.

The only thing I did different is that I drank A LOT of water and was about to pee all over myself when I started looking. Seriously, it started to hurt by the time I did finally use the bathroom lol.

I REALLY need to watch how much I'm eating.
Last night.. I didn't think I was eating a lot for dinner, but apparently I did. When I laid down, I HAD to lay on my back. If I tried laying on either side, I would start feeling nauseous and felt like I was going to hurl at any second. I gagged a few times before finally just laying on my back.

Oh and DH decided how we're going to spell the girl name if we're having a girl.
I really didn't care if it was Zooey, Zoey or Zoe. I just really like the name however it's spelled.
DH doesn't like the Y at the end so Zoe it is :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Worry is kicking in

My next appointment seems so far away and all I can do it worry right now.
My RLP isn't all that bad any longer and THAT is making me worry.
I still haven't picked up anything on my doppler yet and of course, that makes me worried.

I mean I really don't have reason to worry, I'm not cramping and I'm not bleeding, so.. *shrugs* Ya just never know and so many things are so uncertain to me still.

It feels like things are moving up, higher in to my abdomen.
I had a bit of er... diarrhea last night.
Before... if I had any aches from that, it would be below my belly button... last night it was right at my bellybutton/waist. I didn't know what the hell it was at first until that first trip to the bathroom.
Anyway, that was weirdly comforting lol. Just knowing everything has been pushed up some.

Cold is gone. I still have a slight tickle in my throat every once in a while that causes me to cough, but other than that I'm fine. Back to preg phlegmy throat and stuffy nose lol.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

DH is adorable

I was in the middle of watching another episode of One Born Every Minute when DH got home.
One of the women on the show was having a really hard time with labor. Lots of pain and the baby was stuck.
DH asked me.... "How can you watch this? Doesn't it freak you out??!!!"

I just laughed and said no and then he looked at me like I was insane :P lol

I dunno.... right now, I'm just not afraid of labor... actually I'm really excited about it. I'm sure it's scary when you're actually going through it, and it's extra scary if a complication occurs, but I dunno... right now... I can't wait!
It's just that one final thing to go through before you get your baby and that's just exciting to me.
The more I watch these kind of shows, the more I read birth stories, if they're horror stories or perfect... it just feels like I'm getting more mentally prepared for it and like I said.. I can't wait to reach that point.

Needing a good cry

And I'm watching the first season of One Born Every Minute on mylifetime to get that achieved lol.
Watching them backwards so started off with episode 8. Holy crap the story w/ the woman giving her twins up for adoption and just the joy of the adoptive parents. Waterfall down my face lol.

The show just makes my heart yearn for all of this even more. I love seeing that first moment when everything is calm and baby is looking up at mommy or daddy. Just such a magical moment... I want it so much and can't wait.

Booo dreams, Booooo

I keep having miscarriage dreams :(
Obviously I'm still terrified of something going wrong, but at least give me some peace when I'm sleeping. Sigh....
Last night was awful... dreamt that I was feeling wet, so went to the bathroom. I pulled down my undies and saw blood and a small clot on the panty liner. Used the bathroom and felt another smallish clot pass in to the toilet. I kept looking at it close to see if it was the baby or not... and then it switched to another dream thankfully.
Scary stuff though....

I want a fun baby dream damnit!

In lighter news...
DH finally told his boss yesterday. He still hasn't told the people he works with though. I can't wait to hear about that heh.
I really hope they don't want to throw me/us a baby shower though. I know DH has said they wanted to before, but I don't know them. I've met some of them once... that's it. I mean they're all super nice and friendly and REALLY outgoing, but yeah, that is torture for someone like me that just wants to disappear in to a corner lol.
I'll still take the free stuff though :P lol

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


Just wanted to list symptoms I have or ones that have disappeared etc.

Gagging is still occuring, but not nearly as much/often as it was. It's like now.. instead of gagging, I just gett nauseated and feel like I need to gag but don't.

Nipples seem to be getting darker. Notice it more on my right one. It looks almost purply.

Nipples are also still flaking and itchy. They don't itch as much, but every once in a while it's bad.

Sleeping is still terrible. It's taking FOREVER to get to sleep which is a huge problem b/c DH's snoring keeps me up. I start feeling bad for making him roll over/change positions so I usually end up getting up and sleep on the couch.

My dreams aren't as detailed as they were before. Still more than pre-preg though.

Feel a constant very dull ache whenever I'm sitting on my left lower abdomen. Guessing it's either RLP or where the baby could be.

Still have meat aversion.

Cold is almost gone thank goodness. Still have a tingly throat that makes me cough every once in a while, and when I lay down my nose stuffs up, but I'm not mouth breathing as much anymore... WOO! heh

Canker sores in mouth have almost healed. The one on the upper part still is a little tender, but it's coming along... slowly....

I'm sure there's probably something I'm forgetting, but that's all I can think of for now :)

13 weeks

2nd trimester!! Holy crap!
This last week took FOREVER. I swear it feels like I haven't gone to the doc in forever, even though it was just last week... that's how long it felt.
Can't believe I'm finally here though. I really hope it is how everyone says and the weeks fly by.
It's not that I'm not enjoying this... I just want to make sure everything is still ok and I want my baby already! hehe
My 16w appointment needs to be here already. I'm still worried something is going to go wrong and it's terrible. I hate being so paranoid!

As promised, here's a bump photo.
5 weeks, 11 weeks, 13 weeks

The upper part of my stomach has def gotten larger, but to me... I still look the same. *shrugs*

Monday, February 6, 2012

How the hell did we survive this long?

DH was figuring out our monthly expenses yesterday and... holy shit we spend a lot of money!!!
I don't even know on what.
I guess all of those quick trips to this place or that place really added up. But damn.... I saw the proof that we spent what we did and I still can't believe it and see no evidence of what we paid for lol.
How can you spend that much money and NOT have anything to show for it? o_O

I mean we haven't gone to a movie in forever. We don't buy DVDs like we used to.. MAYBE a blu-ray or dvd if it's on sale every 3 months or so.
We do eat out about twice a week. Once is on Friday's with the inlaws.. so I guess we could eliminate the other time.
I fill my car up once a week to week and a half... $30 each time.
And yeah... WTF? Where the hell is our money? SHEESH

So yeah... our babymoon is def going to have to be something on the not so expensive side. And at least now that I'm not doing fertility treatments, we can actually make a dent in the credit card bill. All of our tax return is going towards it.

Guess we're gonna have to keep a very close eye on all of those misc trips to Walmart or wherever else b/c I think that's where most of our money is going. Random trips for random crap and it adds up.


I didn't even know there was such a thing until I read my baby books and saw it mentioned on a Bones episode we watched on Netflix :P lol
It makes sense though. Get in one more vacation before the baby arrives.

Ours isn't going to be some extravagent expensive trip or anything though. Probably just going to go to the beach for a weekend depending on when DH has time off.
Not too far away and not too expensive. Just hang out on the beach all day and relax. Sounds nice to me :)
I think DH wants to do something a bit more though. He wants to go to Charleston and do stuff there. The only thing that I'd want to do was go on a Ghost Tour, but it's 90mins of standing and walking around. Not sure I'll be up to that if we go when I'm bigger. No idea how I'll feel or what, ya know?

UGH I slept like shit last night. My mouth kept getting extra dry and I started to get a headache.

Tried doppler again this morning and nothin. Could hear the rumblings of gas which was weird, but that was it.
Tried farting but RLP started to act up while I was trying to relieve myself lol.
That is like the only reassurance I have that things are still ok in there. Wish I could just pick up the baby's hb already.

Wedding that I thought was at the end of the month is actually this weekend. Not really a big deal.. just seems like the maternity dress I bought for it is gonna go to waste. It's still a cute dress so it's all good. I can always wear it later when I get bigger :)

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Started yesterday when I got angry at my cat and dog.
Cat pooped on the carpet again (something he never did before but for some reason started)... and caught one of the dogs chowing down on a cat turd...... wth is it with dogs and cat shit??
Got pissed so first picked up the dog and popped him on the butt, then picked up the fat cat to take him to the spot and popped him on the butt too.
TOTALLY shouldn't have picked either up b/c I've been having a dull ache in the uterus region since. It's ok until I sit down.
It's just a dull ache, nothing major, but it has me a little worried.... sigh.

What else.... oh I've started taking 1000mg metformin instead of 1500. Decided to start wean off of it.

Cold is letting up slowly but surely thankfully. My nose isn't as stuffy today and tickling in my throat isn't as bad AND finally when I cough it feels like more phlegm is being loosened instead of just sitting there. So YAY for getting better :D

Pretty tired today though. I slept REALLY well last night. Best I've slept in a very long time, but just feeling really tired right now and it's only 12:30. Maybe that exhaustion symptoms is finally hitting me, or it could just be my body needing more sleep to get better from the cold *shrugs*

Saturday, February 4, 2012

One more post...

I know, I'm posting like crazy today. I'm bored to death and just want to ramble some heh.

Have I mentioned how much I REALLY want a baby bump already?
I'm looking through baby bump progression threads and it's really amazing how different everyone is. Some women show super early (even if it's their first), while others seem to take forever.

I think I've filled out on the upper portion of my stomach, but really I look the same. I am only coming up on 13w.... but I wish I were skinny and had at least a tiny bump to see and rub and love on lol.

I'll post up some photos on Tuesday once I hit 13w.... 2nd trimester!! WOOO! Holy crap I can't believe I'm almost there!

Quad Screening

At my 16w appointment, they'll be asking me if I want it done.
I've already talked to DH about it and we're both in agreement to having it done.

It scares me though to be honest. It doesn't give you a definate answer and if something does come back wonky... the stress waiting to find out if something is actually wrong from more testing would be brutal.

It also doesn't help w/ my parents past.
Both were healthy, in their early to mid 20's and their first born had down syndrome and a multitude of other problems that I don't even know.
I talk about it like this b/c it was years before I was born and they never talked about it. The only mention my brother and I had an older sister was whenever we came upon a photo of her in an album.
I think she may have had a heart problem which eventually led to her death at the age of 4 or 5 and I know she was much smaller than a child her age and couldn't walk. But I know that b/c of photos of her in a wheelchair.
Like I said, my parents rarely talked about her which is really heartbreaking.

If getting a screening done, and possibly an amnio if something comes back abnormal can give us answers and help us prepare for a special needs baby, then I want that.
I don't want to give birth thinking everything is fine and come to find out, it's not. I think everyone, including inlaws and my side would need to be prepared for it as well.. if for nothing else than just the thought of having a special needs baby in the family. Ya know?

I hate thinking about it... no one gets pregnant expecting anything to be wrong, but UGH you just don't know sometimes.
I totally understand why some couples don't want it done and that's totally fine... I just have to though.

Rambling... actually it's mostly a vent heh

Bored before I go and lay down (feel a headache trying to start, plus I'm just tired from not sleeping well).

I am SO not looking forward to looking pregnant around strangers.
DH is already rubbing my stomach... and even though it's just fat he's rubbing right now, it's SO frackin sweet.
I know him, I know where his hands have been... even if those hands just got done scratching balls for the last half hour. That's my DH and my DH's balls... things I know very well! ;) lol

I can not understand why a total stranger would want to rub on a pregnant woman's stomach though. WHY?? They're not a fat Buddha... it's not going to bring you luck to rub on their stomach so keep your hands to yourself!
I sure as hell don't know where everyone's hands have been and quite frankly don't want to know which is another good reason for people to keep their gross ass scratching, crotch grabbing, snot picking, slobber covered hands to themselves!

And don't get me started on people invading baby's space as well. It's like the few people that have lower immune systems seem to be the ones EVERYONE wants to touch and get close to. BLEH!
Not saying babies should be totally isolated, but how about NOT getting within inches of my baby's face. You can see him/her just fine standing straight up and a few feet away. And no strange person, you CAN'T hold them for the same reason x10 as mentioned above about nasty hands.

I just heard a story the other day about a bunch of people in North Carolina that got sick w/ a certain bug that causes nausea, diarrhea, etc. They all ate at different Harbor Inns.... and guess how this certain bug is passed? Through SHIT.... yeah that's right... someone most likely didn't wash their hands after taking a shit or scratching their bare ass and then handled a bunch of food.

Not everyone is a filthy disgusting sack of bacteria waiting to infect all of us, but how am I supposed to know who is just by appearances alone.
For that reason......

Keep your damn hands to yourself!!!


Didn't mention this before because well.. it's embarassing to admit to but I'm here to be honest about everything so here goes.

Since I've had this cold... if I haven't used the bathroom in a while and I sneeze or cough.. I'll pee myself a little.
There I said it.
Thank goodness for panty liners or I'd be going through my undies and shorts like they were going out of style.

Still sick obviously. I've been drinking a lot of water, in hopes that it would help w/ the congestion, but NOPE, it makes it worse. WTH? The more water I drink, the more mucus my nose makes and it goes NO WHERE. Just stays in my nose and I can't breathe through it.
Frickin drives me crazy.

DH is going paintballing today. Fun fun. I pulled out all of the mural stuff last week, but they were curled up and put away for so long. Had to put some heavy books on them to try to flatten them out a bit. If they're ok, I'll probably start painting today.
I dunno what I'm going to do about the rest of the leaves on the figures head that I haven't finished. The colors that I used were mixed by myself and have all dried up. Not sure if I'll be able to get those same colors again. Guess I should've thought of that before :P lol

Friday, February 3, 2012

Change of opinion

Ya know, I have to admit... I really do want a boy first.

I know when we were still trying, I used to get upset by threads from people expressing how disappointed they are at having a boy instead of girl or vice versa.
I always thought that they should just be happy that they were going to have a baby and how they're ungrateful and all of those other jealous infertile thoughts.
And I do still feel that way sometimes when I come across those threads....
But now that I am pregnant, I really can't help but have this preferance.
It's not that I won't be happy with a girl first or will love the baby any less... I just really like the idea of having a boy first if that makes sense.
Even though I don't intentionally daydream about having a boy... it just always seems to be a boy in my baby fantasies and I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be a little disappointed if we are having a girl. Only disappointed for a short time though. I'm sure I would get over it quickly and be thankful that everything was ok :)
GAH, even saying that though makes me feel like I'm ungrateful which I'm SO totally not.

UGH I hope this makes sense. Obviously I'm not a writer so can't express what I mean very well :P

Holy crud!

I just looked on amazon at pregnancy pillows and holy shit! I didn't realize how expensive they are!
Naive me I guess, geeze. I guess everyone should expect all pregnancy related items to be expensive.... gotta suck every penny out of us when we're desperate  :\

I'll have to talk to DH about that b/c... WOW. I think DH would actually benefit from one too lol. With his snoring, I think he'd get in to better positions to help with that.
But still.... damn.... why is a frackin pillow so expensive!? GEEEEEEZE

Yep, still sick

Not that I was expecting the cold to be gone in a couple of days, but I sure as hell was hoping lol.

Day started off so great yesterday. My nose wasn't that stuffed up and my head didn't feel like it was in a vice any longer.
Then the day went on and the nose just kept getting more and more stuffy until nothing was getting through it. BLEH!
Thankfully the vice feeling didn't come back though, but it was replaced w/ coughing. It's not a chest cold cough, more of a just phlegmy throat/dry irritated throat cough.
My nose is all crusty and dry on the outside and... UGH I hate colds! lol

I slept eh, ok last night. I've been getting up and sleeping on the couch. I can get in to better positions and get up and cough and whatnot without worrying if I'm waking DH up. It's all good b/c our couch is VERY comfy hehe.
It took a while for me to get to sleep and get back to sleep if I woke, but once asleep, it was good.

Meat aversion is still in full swing it seems. I usually love my baked chicken but I wanted nothing to do with it last night. Just had a salad which was AWESOME and a slice of pizza from Wed heh.

It's weird though... it's not a total meat aversion, it's only to SOME. I still want processed meat, like hot dogs and lunch meat... and the thought of things like chicken fingers sounds good to me too. But fried chicken... one of my favorite foods... it makes me lose my appetite thinking about. Very weird how these food aversions work lol.

My nipples are itching like holy hell today. Went braless yesterday and think that was a BAD decision. I think the shirt rubbing up against them has irritated them causing them to itch. They're not really dry anymore, just itchy.

Sores in my mouth feel better. The one on the right side feels like it's gone. The one on the left looks bad, but is feeling better. The one on the top of my mouth is the main one that is bothering me. Going to just avoid acidy foods and use more mouthwash or something and hope that helps.

DH still hasn't told his coworkers that I'm pregnant yet. It's so cute, when I asked him why he said b/c they're going to make a HUGE deal over it lol.
I just think it's so sweet that they would make a big deal over it even though I've only met most of them once or not at all :P lol
They know we were doing fertility treatments and often gave DH their unhelpful tips on getting pregnant lol.
They're going to be so excited for him. Wish I was a fly on the wall when he does tell them. Would love to see him turn bright red hehe

Thursday, February 2, 2012


That seems to be happening more frequently....

Anyway, forgot to mention that my body is just totally falling apart.

I have canker sores in my mouth and my teeth hurt :(
The first canker sore appeared right before I got this cold on the upper part of my mouth, now I have 2 more. One on the right cheek, one on the left in the back of my mouth.

And my teeth or gums, whatever hurt. It keeps changing spots. It was at the front of my mouth on my bottom teeth at first, now it has moved to my wisdom teeth.
Hopefully it doesn't get any worse than this... if it does... going to have to go to the dentist.
Embarassing to admit but I haven't been since I was a small child. YIKES.
I know for a fact that I'll need teeth pulled but I'm so paranoid to do anything like that while pregnant ya know? I've read that they wait until 2nd tri before doing anything? Sigh... I really do need to go though and so does DH.

Baby Names

When I was talking to my SiL yesterday waiting on my nieces to get out of school, she told me to stay away from baby name forums.
I wasn't planning on going to one anyway, but was curious why.
She said that she posted on some to get opinions. She was actually thinking about using the name Addison for her youngest daughter but was basically told that it was an awful name for a girl, and blahblahblah.
Just ridiculous IMO.
I mean... who cares what someone wants to name their child. Unless it's something that is just straight up terrible like Hitler or some shit.... what do I care what you name your kid and why do you care what I name mine?
Ya know?
I'm CURIOUS about the names that others pick, and sure I like some more than others, but in the end... not my baby.

It just sucks that b/c of these anonymous posters opinions and probably that comboed w/ preg hormones made her 2nd guess her choices.

Lemme say.... I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about the names we picked out.
They're names both DH and I have chosen and that's all that matters.
If his family or my own don't like what we pick... tough shit for them. They're just gonna have to learn how to deal with it and then get over it.

Don't fail me now!

My immune system that is!
I know why it's lower in pregnancy, but still.. it can at least get rid of a cold :P hehe
Feeling somewhat better today since I actually got half-decent sleep last night and this morning.
Think I was just so exhausted it didn't matter if I couldn't breathe or my nose was burning when it cleared up.
I think it's helping that I drank A LOT of water last night. Thankfully my water aversion seems to have left. No more nausea or gagging when I drink it, YAY!
Going to be chugging down as much as I can today and hope it helps. I'll be in the bathroom every 5mins but hopefully it will be worth it.

DH wants us to start walking. BLEH!! I told him that I didn't want to, but he insists. Said that it's not good for me to be in the house all day doing nothing. I understand, but this pregnancy has just made me SUPER lazy. I just don't want to do anything at all.
But I'll do it bc I know he's right. I think he's been doing research while at work about pregnancy b/c he said that being pregnant can increase your risk for blood clots hence the staying at home doing nothing comment heh.
So I'm sure after I get over this cold, we'll probably be taking walks outside after dinner or before or whenever.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I don't understand....

... women that post on TTC forums w/ a thread about how they didn't want to get pregnant, but Oh well they are.
WTH is the point? Just to show the world that you're fucking fertile? To rub it in the faces of those that are still trying or actually WANT their pregnancies?
I don't understand why they post and then expect some kind of sympathy from everyone. Uh no bitch..... our post just makes me want to rip all of your damn hair out of your head.

I just read one post where a woman said she was pregnant, it was unwanted, she has 4 kids already, and boohoo her and her DH aren't going to be able to go on their yearly beach vacation this year.
Oh boo-fucking-hoo heifer!
Excuse me while I just take off my rings and sharpen my nails here... no no... don't run away.... Grrrr
It's such a slap in the face to EVERYONE that wants their pregnancy & a slap, punch, and kick in the ass to those still trying.

Go away cold!

I haven't had a cold this bad in years.
It's still not too terrible, but not pleasant.
Last night was such a pain. I didn't sleep well at all b/c my nose was stuffy, but that quickly changed and made me wish it was just stuffy again.
I guess having to mouth breath and all of the mucus my nose is producing is causing me to dehydrate a bit quicker.
I had to keep waking up to drink water b/c my left nostril would completely dry out and it hurt whenever I breathed.
It felt raw and exposed and burned like hell whenever I breathed in which prevented me from sleeping or woke me up.
I have a sore on the upper part of my mouth that would get irritated as well when my mouth dried out and just UGH awful.
Thankfully drinking water did help some, but not for long. Water still makes me nauseated if I drink too much of it, so I could only drink enough to last about an hour or so.
Such a pain.

I really need to get a pregnancy pillow. I'd rather get one now when I still don't really need it than wait until I do. I'll have to see if somewhere actually sells one. Would rather not have to order it online and pay shipping.

RLP has been acting up some. Sneezed earlier and had another sharp pain/pulling feeling. It wasn't as intense as that other one.
I'm ok with it though, just tells me that everything is growing like it should :)

DH's younger sis called him yesterday to congradulate us.
She's the one that I'm not so fond of.... well she's gotten better and I've moved on from the terrible things she's said.. at least for my niece's sake.

I feel bad for DH's uncle though. Him and his wife have been trying for a baby for over 10 years now. They're both getting up there in age and his wife is only still trying b/c the uncle wants to.
She has very severe symptoms of PCOS and I know that's one of the reasons why it has never happened for them.
They had to be so upset when they heard the news and it makes me feel so guilty. I know it's not OUR fault and we also struggled so it's not like I'm some fertile chick rubbing it in their faces, but I can't help but still feel guilty about it.