Monday, February 29, 2016

Better but still there


This will be the THIRD time trying to post this shit. Almost done twice now and both times, I hit something on this stupid keyboard that erases everything! /SOB

UGH, so to paraphrase everything that I've been trying to post...

Migraine is still here, but better. Yesterday was frickin terrible.

Pretty sure baby names picked out will either be Ezra for boy and Evie for girl.
Still time for that to change though.

We should be minivan hunting within the next month or 2.

Did plant some seeds yesterday. 2 diff tomatoes, 1 cucumber, oregano, carrots, sweet basil. So excited!

Oren ate some of the potting soil. Oops lol
Zoe had fun helping out and getting in the way lol.

DH wanted to know if I wanted to go on vacation this year, but no. We have too many things we need to spend our money on. We could do one day things here and there, but no long vacation unfortunately.

And yeah... I think that was it. Before this gets accidentally deleted again... it's getting posted :P lol

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Noooo :(

The cold has gotten worse... AGAIN!
My nights have consisted of.... waking up b/c my throat hurts, my mouth is dry and I need to drink something.
Last night was no different, but sucked bc the whole right side of my head aches now. Pretty sure this is a migraine and uuuuuuuuuuuuugh. I'm miserable right now :(
I can't move my head very fast b/c if I do, it feel like my brain is rattling in my head along with it also feeling like it's in a vice.

I drank 4.... FOUR glasses of water throughout the night and it didn't do a damn thing to help keep my mouth/throat from drying out. We NEED to use our crappy humidifiers or go out and buy better ones. I can't handle another night like that. It sucked and I need sleep.

Oh and so this morning. I went to change Oren's diaper and get him ready so DH could give him a bath.
Oren has poop, but apparently my sense of smell is out of whack b/c I can't smell it, but the thought of smelling it made me gag.. and gag a lot... and more until I started throwing up. I couldn't run to the bathroom b/c ORen was nekkid and not fully cleaned off on his changing pad so I leaned over, grabbed a dirty towel out of his hamper and tried throwing up in to it. I think I got half of it to go in to the towel and the rest went on his floor.

I still haven't cleaned it yet. About to even though I don't want to. My head is just killing me right now and all I want to do is sit here in self pity lol.

This cold can go fuck itself.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Go away colds!!!

It's like we'll take a step to getting better and then the next day it's 2 steps back.
I WAS feeling better. My nose wasn't as stuffed up... I could mostly breathe through it at night. That didn't last long. My nose is back to being clogged and now I've developed a small cough. Awesome :\
Same thing seems to have happened to Zoe. She only seemed to have a mild cold and then the eye boogers happened and now she has a cough too.

Could we just get better already?? Geeze.. I spent 2 months of this pregnancy sick, and now I'm sick again. Enough of this mess already dangit!

Grrr, I can't find the heartbeat. Ok NOW the baby is definitely under my pooch. The swooshing placenta sound I can barely even find unless I angle the sensor upwards towards the pooch. I think maybe I've heard the baby moving around though. It could just be gas or intestinal, but it sounds just like the baby moving (how it sounded with Zoe and Oren when they moved). So... *shrugs*

My appointment is Tuesday so just hope the doctor is able to find the HB no problem :)

OK this toddler mess of "I'm hungry!" ALL day long, but not wanting to actually eat anything in the house needs to stop too. Holy crap is it annoying!!
Ok some days, Zoe will eat whatever I give her, but other days... it's..

Z: I'm hungry, mommy!
Me: Well hi, Hungry! I'm mommy! *insert awful mom joke laugh track here*
Z: I'm Zoe, mommy.............. I'm hungry!
Me: Fine.... what do you want?
Z: Uhm........
Me: Do you want an apple?
Z: No
Me: DO you want *insert food item here*
Z: No

Wash rinse repeat until I've listed everything edible in the house

Me: Well, I guess you're not hungry b/c you don't want anything.
Z: *starts whining*

A min later

Z: I want an apple...
Me: UUUUUGH. That was the first thing I asked if you wanted child!

Gets up, washes her an apple off. She takes it with glee.... takes 4 bites out of it and decides she doesn't want it anymore.
2 minutes after wasting it....

Z: Mommy..... I'm hungry.
Me: -_-

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Ugh... people....

I know I do a lot of bitching... I judge a heck of a lot too, but I do it here. My own personal blog where I can say whatever the hell I want and still be nice and civil when I'm around other people, whether if it's on a forum or IRL.

Someone on the new DD group mentioned how she was getting shit for liking a certain name from her friends and how she's getting unsolicited opinions on circumcising too if she has a boy.
And of course.. here comes anti-circ bitch to speak up about it.. b/c she gets to dictate what everyone else does to their child.
At first she was ok... said she didn't want to turn it in to a debate about circing, just said she was against it. That's cool... people can be pro or against whatever for whatever reason.
THEN here she comes again saying that she thinks it should be illegal and that it's barbaric.
So much for that not turning it in to a debate bullshit.
Why?? WHY do you fucking care what someone does to their baby?? So you'd never do it to your child? Good for you! THat's awesome. Stick to your shit and shut the fuck up about what other people are doing to theirs. Whether or not a boy has foreskin or not is none of your fucking business unless you plan on staring at baby dicks like a GD pervert.
You are JUST as fucking bad as the people who think they have any say in what the parents name their child. Sure, you can have your opinion on whatever... but keep it to yourself unless you're specifically asked about it, or do what I do.. start your own damn blog and bitch about it there! lol

In other less bitchy news lol...

Something is wrong with the baby shampoo we're using or.. well.... something is going wrong somewhere lol. It's cetaphil baby shampoo soap stuff. We used a bottle of it before, it ran out, so we bought a new one.
Had no problems with the last bottle, but this one... we've used it 3 times so far. Twice on Zoe and once on Oren, and every single time... they get bad eye boogers. WTH?
If you remembered my post before when talking about Oren's eye boogers... that was the first time we had used that particular bottle on him. I did notice after the bath that he had blood shot eyes, but just thought he got some soap in them... not a big deal. Then later on the eye boogers came. I just thought it was from his cold.

Then I bathed Zoe and used it to wash her hair and body and she got eye boogers too. Not as bad, but her eyes also got blood shot and her left eye started oozing thick boogery mucus.

That made me stop a moment and look at the stuff funny.

So the next time.. I only washed her body with it and used something different to wash her hair. The wash never got in her eyes.
She still came out with even worse blood shot eyes and once again... eye boogers.
So.... again... WTH??
I have some Aveeno baby wash that I was using when I was still pumping that I'll try on them next. If they still get eye boogers then at least we'll know that it's not the cetaphil stuff causing it.

Just weird.

Another WTH moment.... my cold is easing up. I can actually breathe through my nose most of the time and even when laying down (sometimes). So I've been doing that and my frickin mouth and throat are STILL drying out. WTF??
I've been drinking a TON of water at night to help prevent dry mouth if I do end up mouth breathing. I drink a glass of water before going to bed (it's about 2c worth I think). And then, all through out the night, I'll drink 1-2 more glasses of water. I drink some every time I get up.. which is a lot b/c I have to pee all the time from the water I'm drinking lol.
So... WTF??
Just damn annoying b/c it's irritating my throat like crazy and it becomes painful.

And finally... I have a dentist appointment next month. It's at the end of the month, but I am not looking forward to it. I haven't been to the dentist in forever... FOREVER. My teeth aren't horrible, but they need some work done on them. I am not looking forward do this shit.

Zoe is also going to the dentist for the first time :D Other than the ship in one of her front teeth that happened when she was a baby... her teeth look great. Hope that's the case when the dentist actually looks at them lol.

We really need to start brushing Oren's teeth. He has.... hmm 8? total right now and with him eating solids.. yeah.. we need to start.

Anyway, blahblahblah...I talk too much :P

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Well yesterday sucked

So after the bad morning sickness... the day just went downhill from there. I got a headache that would not go away and morning sickness nausea ALL day long. I ended up taking a total of 4 tylenol and still had a headache when I went to bed.
PLus you know that fever feeling you get even though you don't have a fever? I had that too.
It was just a really crap feeling day. Texted DH and thankfully he brought home some dinner so I didn't have to cook. Ugh..... just ugh.

Thankfully I feel better today. I did keep waking up with a dull headache but nothing so far today.
And morning sickness has just been a little bit of nausea and gagging. Nothing too bad so far.

UUUUGH... just thinking about the amount of money we're going to have to spend this year is giving me some serious stress. Probably going to cost a couple thousand to make the baby's room. Thankfully I think DH and FiL will be able to do most, if not all of it, by themselves. It's just finding the time to do it and buying supplies.
Then the crib/dresser is just damn expensive b/c we have expensive ass taste. Well.. there's a reason we do... we want the furniture to last and just feel like it's a good investment.

THEN the big purchase.. the new car we'll have to get. That's going to be the big one that's going to hurt. We're going to have to seriously cut back on our spending. We really don't buy all willynilly. Sure we do buy some stuff that's not necessary, but that's going to have to change with the new higher car payment since the car we want is so GD expensive. Oh well.. just means if we really want something, we'll have to save for it and buy it a little later :)

AND DH desperately wants to get a shed for the backyard. We really do need one. Our garage is packed full of junk that could go in to a shed and free up some space. That's going to be another couple thousand since we have to do it a certain way b/c of our HOA *grumble*.
I doubt we'll be getting our back patio done this year.

Just with what I listed.. we'll be going through a lot of our savings. Thank goodness we can afford to put money up in to a savings account though. If we couldn't... we'd be SCREWED.

So excited to have a garden this year. Well actually.. it will be more of a container garden instead of an outdoor kind. I never have luck growing tomatoes outdoors. I don't think I water them enough for our extremely hot summers so they always end up getting that blossom end rot. So disappointing to see a pretty tomato growing, go to pick it and you see this huge ugly brown spot on the bottom.
So yeah... I'm going to try my hand at growing some tomatoes in pots indoors... or at least partially indoors and sometimes outdoors.
Just need to figure out what kind of tomato. I just want a delicious tasting one. *nodnod*
Would also like to try growing something else, but not sure what. Maybe some kind of pepper... but I dunno.. I want to grow something that I know we'll actually eat. Would love to grow cucumbers but not sure how well that would work. We'll see what happens :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

I forgot!

Oh I forgot... I think it was Friday. I trimmed Zoe's bangs and didn't think twice about it.
Later that day, DH is home and in the bathroom. Zoe goes in there and all of a sudden I hear DH yell "NO!" and immediately Zoe starts to cry.
Turns out, Zoe remembered where the scissors were and was trying to cut her hair. She actually got a little bit of her bangs, but you can't really notice it. It just looks like baby hairs. But still... yikes.
I didn't even think about her going back and getting the scissors. My own fault for not putting them up in a safer spot. Just glad she didn't cut off more!


Morning sickness is still kickin. Not as much but still just as bad when it does hit. Ate breakfast yesterday and promptly threw up half of it.
I'm really achy in the uterus area too. It's not a constant thing, but it's not pleasant either. Makes me so paranoid and I always look for blood when I go to the bathroom.

I'm kind of craving beer. Yuck. It's not super strong, it's just when I see someone drinking... the thought of having an ice cold beer sounds really good.
Bleh.... I don't even like beer.. so WTH? Obviously I'm not going to run out and chug one down or anything. Just kind of weird that with Oren, I wanted to smell it, and this one.. I just want to drink it.

Oh.. had another bad MS moment. Haven't eaten anything so just threw up water. Ugh... when is this going to stop already??

There was something else I wanted to mention, but meh... got distracted and now I can't remember lol. Oh well

Monday, February 22, 2016

So much eye boogers!

I FINALLY cleaned up the living room yesterday lol. It took a couple of hours b/c I sorted through the FOUR toy bins in the living room and removed all of the baby baby toys and got Zoe to take some of her toys back to her room, etc etc. Now only 2 bins of toys along w/ some of the bigger stuff.
DH also set up Oren's birthday slide thing.
Zoe helped me clean, but only b/c I told her if we cleaned, daddy would set up the slide lol. As soon as everything was clean, she started in on him lol.
Bought this thing for him... it was 80something when I bought it...

It was pretty easy to set up and Zoe frickin loves it lol. As soon as it was set up.. Zoe was on it for HOURS just playing on it. Oren is still too small for it, but he'll love it just as much one day :)

Also yesterday.. Oren developed booger eyes. He started bawling b/c he was stuck in the living room while I was repotting some plants and DH was trying to make a cardboard box stronger. I finally finished and cleaned up and went to comfort him and he had a giant green booger under his eye. He's been snotty b/c of his cold, so I thought he had just wiped it up to his eye. Nope!
For the rest of the night, both of his eyes started getting all snotty and gross.
No idea why that started b/c he seemed to be getting better from his cold.
Poor guy was miserable last night and kept waking himself up coughing.
He seems ok today though. His left eye is all gunked up but doesn't seem to be oozing, so that's good :)

Saturday... we went to Target and bought him his first sippy cup. We went out to dinner with MiL and FiL and MiL's cousin (that comes out with us every once in a while, he's a nice guy). MiL wanted to feed Oren some chocolate milkshake which was fine with us and Oren actually figured out how to suck through the straw :D SO we stopped by the store on the way home and got him a straw sippy. He's been using it and seems to really like it. I made some chocolate milk today and he was really loving sharing that with me... just hope it doesn't make me sicker lol.
SO YAY! for my big boy :)
Can't believe he's gonna be 1 in 2 weeks. Man... they really do grow up so fast.

UGH, Zoe was getting on my last nerve last night. We put her to bed at 7:30. Sometimes she'll stay up and play in her room, other times, she'll go right to sleep. She went right to sleep since she had been playing on the new slide since it went up.
DH and I were both really tired and ended up going to bed early and getting ready starting at 8:30. Zoe woke up once... ok.... fine. And then proceeded to get up another SIX times until 11pm. 3 of those times... I had just, JUST fallen asleep when she'd start back up for no reason. I was done by the last 2... I didn't bother getting up the last time and shook DH awake b/c I would've blown up on her. Didn't want to do that so made DH get up with her. As I've said before.. I already have so much trouble getting to sleep normally, and then getting woken up just after falling asleep.... yeah.. I was not a happy momma.
Not my finest hours there :\
Thankfully she and Oren slept in a little bit this morning so I got a little more sleep.

MiL and FiL did come over yesterday too. They wanted to use our tax return thing and DH wanted FiL's opinion on the baby's room and if we'd have to hire a professional etc etc.
Oren was more than happy to be held by MiL almost the entire time lol. He's such a little snuggle monster :)
Sweet baby boy...
When they were leaving, DH asked them if they wanted the Terrain (the car we got from my mom). They would take over the payments.
We probably wouldn't get anything if we traded it in so DH wanted to see if they would want it. They REALLY need a new car right now b/c theirs are going to shit really fast.
They have 2 suburbans that are old and just not in good shape at all. Theirs needs a complete engine overhaul which would cost them 5k. Don't think their entire vehicle is even worth that much anymore.
And the other one, which belongs to the grandfather, is complete shit too and needs a lot of work and overall is in worse shape. They have a truck, but FiL drives that one. So yeah... they need a new car.
BUT thing is.. they need one that the grandfather can get in and out of. Since his stroke, he's been a giant dickwad and must approve of whatever car they get.
They had actually gotten a minivan, but since grandpa had trouble getting in and out of it... they took it back 2 days later.
So yeah.... we'll see what happens.
The Terrain isn't great and has it's flaws, but it's a fairly new car in really good condition and they'd be getting it at a good price that they could afford.
I hope they take it. It really doesn't matter to us financially either way though.
It just annoys me so much that they're letting the grandfather dictate everything so much. LIke... WTF is he going to do... bitch some? Big deal.. let him bitch until he's blue in the face IMO. Just b/c he had a stroke doesn't mean he gets to turn in to a giant asshole and everyone has to just deal with it.
He is lucky that MiL and FiL take care of him as well as they do. Using money they don't have to take care of hime, taking him to all of his appointments, etc etc.
Just so annoyed for them.

Anywho... I'll stop for now. This post ended up a lot longer than I had intended it to be lol.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

He's such a weirdo

He's my little weirdo.
Oren is so adorable...
If Zoe is laying or sitting on the floor, he crawls over to her and proceeds to lay and roll on her . It's the cutest thing and they both get a kick out of it and start giggling like crazy.
So stinkin cute :)

Bought Oren his birthday present... although I'd say we got it mostly for Zoe right now lol.
It's a little plastic playset thing. It has a basketball hoop, a little wall climb thing and a small slide. It's something small I want to keep in the living room. Well... I HOPE it's small enough to keep in here lol. If not, it will go in the sunroom.
Zoe tries to make a slide out of everything which prompted me to look at little playsets. Did see some cute beds w/ slides that she would probably love too, but no... I think we'll just stick to the crib she has lol.

But yeah... other than a cake, that's all he's getting from us. We really don't need anything for him.
Can't believe he's almost 1yo though. Geeze.. where the heck has this last year gone?

Oren has STTN for the past 3 nights!! Oh my gosh, I hope this continues lol. Now if Zoe would stop waking up before frickin 6am.. that would be great.

I bring her to lay down with me, but nooooo.. she's wide awake so she starts tossing and turning and sometimes singing to herself which keeps me up. Sigh.....
She wanted to get up this morning so I let her and stayed in bed for another 30min :P I could hear everything she was doing but I still snoozed the entire time which was much needed.


I still haven't managed to clean up completely yet. Just laziness... that's it. Just being lazy lazy lazy. I just see all the mess and think... "later". Later comes and I'm too worn out to do anything. Hell, I don't even want to get up to get myself more water which I really need to do.

Had an awful dream last night. Dreamt that I went to the bathroom and saw a lot of fresh blood and clots on my panty liner. And when I got up, lots in the toilet and on the TP.
I had a couple of those dreams when pregnant with Oren... can't remember if I did with Zoe. Frickin hate them b/c I wake up so paranoid that something is wrong and that I'll see blood when I use the bathroom :( Damn you brain!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Lemme rant for a second

So DH snores.... now he's sick, so he snores more.
Pain in the ass for myself since I don't usually get to sleep very easily and get woken up easy too.. well more so now that I have to pee more at night and I'm sick and the kids.
So I poke and gently push him to get him to change positions. Sometimes it works, sometimes I'll have to do it a few more times to get him in to that magical position.
Keep in mind that he's one of those people that falls asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow. He gets to sleep extremely easy and stays asleep.
So anyway, last night was the same as usual. I woke up to pee, laid back down and pushed him a little to get him to roll. He stops snoring for a second and then continues. Not surprising. So I do it a few more times and he wakes up all pissed.
Dude... if I could go to sleep as easily as he does.. this wouldn't be a damn problem. Just roll your ass over and fall back to sleep before you're even in your final position like you always do.
But no no... he wakes up and gets all pissy with me. Waits for me to finally fall asleep and then loudly tells me to "ROLL OVER" waking me up.. causing me to lay there for another good 20mins to try to get back to sleep.
I would totally sleep out on the recliner, but don't want to be bothered by our cat who thinks 4am is a good time to start meowing for food.
Just UGH!
Oh I understand that it gets annoying for him too, but like I said... he gets back to sleep instantly and usually goes right back to snoring.
I told him he need one of those cpap machines bc he also gets sleep apnea if he sleeps on his back, but nooooooo. He pulls typical guy BS and wont go to the doc about it.
UGH again.

Anyway, enough of that.....

While I'm thinking about it.
Cat is doing well. His paws are still looking good and thankfully he's using his litter boxes again. He could be secretly peeing somewhere that we haven't found, but I haven't smelled anything where it shouldn't be lol.
He's still SUPER lazy, but now he can jump over the baby gates in to areas we don't want him to go :P

Cid (our frenchie mix) is doing ok. Vet put him on a different antibiotic for his tail. Not sure if I explained what happened before? If not.. quick recap...
His tail is naturally a nub and curves in to his body.. the area right above his butthole. So looking at it, it just looks like he has a tiny tiny nub for a tail, but in reality, there's a little more to it. Well, it gets irritated sometimes and fairly recently has gotten to the point of becoming infected and oozing puss.
It happened last year and antibiotics cleared it up.
Happened again recently along with this other spot on his butt that started to ooze b/c he rubs his butt on the carpet and outside to scratch it. Tried him on some left over meds that the cat was on. Didn't work. Tried him on an antibiotic the vet gave us... didn't work. Now he's back on the same stuff he was on last year and finally.. it looks to be working.
If it didn't.... we'd have to get surgery on his tail. I think we should still get it done b/c all of these vet visits with the cost of the meds is coming out more than what the surgery would cost. All it is maybe a half an inch or so of tail that's jutting in to his body causing all the problems. Not sure why the vet can't just do an Xray already, see how far the tail grows in and then snip it off and pull it out. DH for some reason thinks the tail is growing all through his body... uh no. I used to be able to get my finger underneath it to clean it and the tail isn't going to magically grow more.
So yeah.... he's good.

Our other 2 dogs are doing well. One is up there in age and showing it. She has slowed way down, but still just as annoying as ever. Our chihuahua loves her though. She's his big furry heater :P

**!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!**

And finally... we finally watched the mid-season premiere of The Walking Dead last night.
It was a really good episode except the one part that bugged the hell out of me.
I don't remember their names so forgive me.

After the preacher takes the baby, the rest of them link hands back up and start walking.
Then of course what we all saw coming from a mile away.. the little boy starts to freak out. Now here is my problem... why didn't they just drag his ass on?? Who the hell wrote that part? I would've grabbed the kid's arm and kept going. Screw stopping in the middle of a hoard of zombies to calmly try to reason with your kid that's going in to shock. No... drag his ass or pick him the hell up and keep going! Just.... WTF was up with that part?? Frustrating!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Thanks DH!

I hope everyone had a nice weekend :)
We're not really big on the whole Valentines Day thing other than me telling DH I don't want to cook lol and us buying some V day candy :P

Plus it didn't help that DH is still and got the rest of us sick too. Awesome. First 2 days I felt awful, like it was just going to be a really shitty bad cold, but now, it's just my nose is stuffed up. Thank goodness.
Oren seems to be feeling better too. He's still stuffed up too, but other than that seems to be fine.
Zoe is also sick and is coughing a bit, but otherwise is acting like her usual crazy self lol.
So hopefully this is all that comes of this cold and we all get over it quick.

DH and I did go see Deadpool yesterday :) He didn't have to work and MiL agreed to watch our rugrats.
Great movie! Well.. great if you kind of know what you're getting in to lol. It's definitely not your typical superhero movie :P

Lets see..... I sneezed a couple nights ago while I was laying in bed on my side. Frickin SUPER sharp quick pain at my incision area. Holy crap it hurt. Actually brought tears to my eyes, but thankfully the pain quickly subsided too. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little paranoid that something ripped. Pretty certain it was just typical RLP type of pain though... just intensified by the sneeze.

Morning sickness is about the same. Comes and goes now. I threw up a little this morning. Just mucus and the little bit of water I had. I had mucus stuck in my throat which triggered gagging and it escalated from there :\
Thankfully I hadn't eaten anything b/c I would've left a puke trail to the bathroom that I would've had to clean up lol.

Dopplered twice since finding the HB and haven't found it again. Not too worried about it. Just wanted to find it again so DH could hear it.

DH started measuring the room we're turning in to the baby's room. I think we're definitely cutting my closet in half which I'm totally fine with. It's just coming up with something that's going to be the least amount of work/money. We're already going to have to move some electrical stuff and add a thingamajig on the ceiling so we can put in an overhead light/fan.
It's gonna be a good chunk of money we're gonna have to spend. DH wants to make it an actual bedroom... meaning one with a closet. I don't think it's necessary, but I guess in the longrun it will be, plus I think it will help with the overall value of the house if we ever sell.
So yeah.. might as well do it now I guess lol.

We've also been looking in to minivans more.
I think right now... we're debating between the Honda and the Nissan. Both are pretty hefty in price and the Honda seems to be the more popular with better ratings, but the Nissan isn't bad either. Not sure when it's gonna happen.. but we gotta go look at them in person and test drive.
I think just looking at what each has to offer.. I want the Honda... but we'll see :) Either way.. it's a frickin huge expensive purchase!

MiL has been telling DH about SiL's birth. MiL was there for it all pretty much.
She said SiL didn't initially want an epidural b/c she thought it was "weak". UGH... seriously?
Now if someone doesn't want an epidural.. fine.. but to think it's weak to get one? Come on now. I hate that that even crosses anyone's mind. Do people think it's weak to take tylenol for a headache?
Did she think it was weak to take something when she had periods and her endo caused her to have seriously awful cramps? No? So why the hell is it weak to take pain meds during labor.. something a good many women describe as the worst pain in their life? It's not frickin weak.. it's taking advantage of modern medicine!
Thankfully MiL told her she was crazy for thinking it and told her if she needed the relief to get it.
It just frustrates me that women have convinced themselves that they MUST feel the pain of labor/birth or they're less of a woman/mom or "weak" for needing/wanting pain relief. Just stop with that nonsense already. Really shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.                                                                              

Friday, February 12, 2016

I found it!!!

I didn't doppler last night so did it just a few minutes ago. Took me a while to figure out where to look, but I found the heartbeat!! It was really brief, but it was definitely the baby! YAY! So happy :) Heartbeat was found just under my pooch, so it's not quite under it just yet. I'm sure things will start shifting up more soon though.


Oren slept much better last night and seems to be feeling a little better today. Thank goodness this is just a cold and nothing worse. I'm sure Zoe and I will be getting sick soon. Nothing like a face full of sick baby cough and sneezes.

Actually got to sleep in today... ok so not really. I got to sleep in a whole 20mins longer LOL. But hey.. I'll take what I can get ;) lol

It's so nice to have our normal lives back again. So... so nice. I don't have the energy to clean like I need to do, but I'm not too worried about that. It will happen... I'm just relaxing in the meantime.

I am about to go make some chocolate chip cookies.
Yep... I'm living it up until I get diagnosed with diabetes again. It's so bad, but heck.. if the doctor's office was worried about it, they would tell me to eat right from the get go right? :P rofl
I really have been eating like shit though and really should clean up my diet more. If not for me, then for my baby and DH. Poor DH wants to lose weight so bad, but I keep wanting junk food. I feel awful about it sometimes, but then I think about having to eat right after my 24w appointment and just thinking that it can wait. I'm so terrible!

And finally...... man.. our kids have too many dang toys. But with another coming... we don't want to throw anything away. I think once Oren starts to walk, we'll move some stuff in to his room. Free up more space in the living room.
You know those reno shows where they always rag on parents for having toys all over their living room? Yeah... that's us. I really don't mind it so long as Zoe picks up after herself which she's usually pretty good at doing.


Before I forget to post them... again ;)
It's not many. Thought I took more than this, but oh well.

All 3 monsters posing lol. Thought I took a photo of just Zoe, but no.. that was DH. He took some photos of her on his phone. Oops. How cute are the costume pj things though?? :D YOu can find them on amazon. They were a few dollars under $20. The blue one wasn't prime but the pink one was. When I went to buy the pink one, think I just searched 'unicorn costume'.

Oren in his adorable Stitch thing. Look at the nubby tail! Just look at it!!!!!!!!!!!

And finally the thing I was working on for SiL.
She's the only one ever getting Dumbo. It was a PITA to figure out and make, but I think it came out pretty cute :) The bubbles were supposed to be upright, but I planned it all poorly and it wouldn't sit straight when hung. Heck.. it doesn't now :P lol This was the first of many that are going to be made though so it's going to be a learning process to what's going to work and what won't w/ some of the designs I've come up with :) Really hoping I can bust these out so I can start selling them!
I may do an elephant that's like this one.. just doesn't have the dumbo little details on it.

Thursday, February 11, 2016


Feel like William Wallace at the end of Braveheart while they disembowel him lol.

After 2.... VERY long weeks.... no more babysitting for me! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thankfully these last 2 days weren't so bad. I made an effort to not freak the F out and give in to stress so damn much.
Gosh... I have some spoiling to do with my kids and to niece too for that matter. I was a raging psycho and I feel really awful about it. I just could barely deal with her being here and I know I raised my voice and cursed a bit too much in front of them. I have some awesome mommy-ing and aunting to do.

First is going to be cleaning up this mess of a house. I didn't bother with most of it while she was here b/c it was just going to get messed up again and again and add on to the stress. I need to clean up though. Just so much trash (just small things like tissues, wrappers, etc) everywhere and it's driving me crazy to look at it.
I cleaned up some today, but there is a lot more to do.
Also need to give Zoe lots of hugs and love. Sure her little 3yo tude was annoying but she deserved better than what she got from me.

And lots of hugs and love for my little boy Oren too. He was ok, but he caught DH's cold and is miserable. He woke up so much last night b/c of coughing and not being able to breathe through his nose.
Got lots of snuggles today from him. Thankfully he doesn't seem to be running a fever so there's that at least.

And SiL finally did pay me today. I really wasn't expecting them to give me anything, but oh well. Glad to be wrong.

It's almost 9 and I'm about to get ready to go to bed. It's so sad.. I actually get excited thinking about going to sleep early lol.

Threw up... a lot today. It was just one incident, but still sucked. Thankfully I felt it coming and knew it was going to be bad. Got to the toilet just in time. As soon as I lifted the lid, out it came. Ya know.. I would rather just throw up than the empty retching that hurts like hell.
I still think morning sickness is finally easing up some though. Just hope I have more good days than bad ones now lol.
Oh and I'm gonna check for the HB before bed too. Haven't done it since my appointment.
I'll be 14w tomorrow. Not sure I'll pick up anything since I'm sure everything has moved up under my pooch but we'll see what happens :D

And I will get those photos uploaded and posted tomorrow! Hopefully nothing interferes with that so I can get that done early :)

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Just one more day.... after this one

One more day... just one more day I have to watch niece and then.. FREEDOM!
I can handle my kids, but Zoe w/ her cousin has been driving me frickin crazy. I get SO damn stressed that I'm pretty sure this constant dull headache that I have is the result.

I just want our less chaotic lives back already. I just want to go back to loving her from afar and not yelling every other second sounding like a crazy woman.

Plus... it doesn't look like SiL or her husband plan on paying me anything for this AND his asshole self keeps showing up late to pick her up. Dude... you're a dick.... plain and simple. There's NO reason he should be late picking her up unless he suddenly gets a case of explosive diarrhea and needs to go home and change. No... he's late b/c the dick goes home and dicks around like the dick he is THEN comes and picks her up..... dick.

On a more positive note... Zoe has been loving it. Sure, she and her cousin fight with eachother a lot, but she's been having so much fun running around driving me crazy lol.

DH wants to add another door to my closet that will lead in to the new baby's room. Was thinking about taking space from my closet to make a closet for baby, but he likes the idea of being able to walk through my closet to the baby lol. I'm cool with that. I have a lot of crafty stuff in there, but I'm not a woman that has a lot of hanging up clothes lol. It will fit in to a small space so we can make room for baby stuff :)
I do need to organize it better. Maybe when all of this starts taking place, we can get a cool storage space thing in there so I can still have plenty of room for my craft supplies along with everything else :D

He wants to do a sliding door for the closet and I'd like to do one for the main door in to the room too. Not sure if that's going to happen though since we want a doorknob on it and well.. can't have that if it's sliding in to the wall. We'll see what the options are.

I'm just glad our home has a room we're not really using. I mean... come on... who the hell needs a normal living room along with a "formal" living room. Sure it's pretty on all these renovation shows where they have a bazillion living rooms for the kids and one for the adults, but who the heck in normal every day life would actually use that? Heck, we don't even use our dining room for it's intended purpose. Right now.. it's the place where all of our amazon boxes go to multiply and die :P lol
So anyway.. yeah.. we're lucky we have room to make a new room for the baby. It needs a little bit of work but not too much :)

Morning sickness finally seems to be getting better thank goodness. At least the last couple of days it hasn't been too bad.
I would have thrown up all over Oren today if I had eaten something though. He had nasty smelly smooshy poop and it triggered my MS HARD lol. Thankfully I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink that recently so it was just strong gagging.
But yeah... other than a few instances of gagging and some nausea in the middle of the night.. it's been ok. YAY :D

I'm still not sure if I'm feeling baby move or not. I'm going to say... Not. I think what I was feeling before may have just been gas. I've had some seriously BAD gas for about a week now and that could be the fizzy feeling I've been experiencing. Oh well... it was fun to imagine that it was baby :) I'll feel real movements soon enough.
It's hard to believe I'll be 14w this Friday. It seriously feels like I just got the BFP.

SiL's baby is so stinkin cute! She sent a couple of photos and man... just adorable! :D She has a lot of ginger colored hair! Must get that from the husband's side b/c I haven't met anyone from DH's side that has natural red hair lol.
Can't wait to see more photos of her and I just want my kiddos to meet their new cousin. They won't give a turd since they're so young and well.. that's just youngins for ya, but it will still be cute! lol

Oh and I finally finished the thing I'm giving to SiL. I had to tweak it some b/c what I had originally designed wasn't going to work, but it still came out pretty cute. It could be better, but oh well. It was my first time making something like this and I'm proud of it :D
I will post photos on Friday once normal life resumes. Going to start on another one today :) Now that I have an idea of what works and what doesn't.. I'm hoping this new one won't take as long to complete. It shouldn't since the design is simpler. :)

Monday, February 8, 2016

Well that was boring

I don't usually watch football. I don't hate it, but also don't follow it either. I'll watch a couple of games if DH puts it on but other than that.. meh.
We do watch the Super Bowl though.. well.. sometimes lol.
Did last night and SNOOOOOOOOOZE.
Good grief that was a boring game. I'm not expecting touchdowns all over the place, but dang... that was just a giant snoozefest.

In other news... I had a violent morning sickness incident yesterday. Just got done eating brunch and got that all too familiar feeling. I thought I would throw up some of what I had just eaten, but nope.. it wasn't going anywhere, so I kept retching and retching and retching. I did it so hard that my head felt like I had had it in a vice and my eyes were all puffy like I had been crying all day and I got that gawd awful feeling of my nerves just all feeling ablaze b/c of the strain my body was going through trying to throw up.
It was awful.
This morning sickness can kiss my ass and leave already.

B/c of that.. I woke up with a headache and still have it right now.
BUT b/c of the headache and not wanting to make it worse... I've been keeping my cool with Zoe and niece lol.
There have been a couple of moments where I needed to raise my voice, but overall, it's been a pretty calm day. Both of them are kind of behaving.... as much as a 3 and 4yo can lol.

And finally... still working on my project. it's coming along, but I think if I want to sell these things.. I'm going to have to simplify the designs a bit... or at least how I make them. I have to sew it all by hand which is taking forever since I have to stop to do mom stuff ;) heh
I may try using some fabric glue to see if that is a quicker option to add on details and whatnot. We'll see what happens. This is the first one I'm making so there's going to be a lot of trial and error before I come up with a solid way to create these things that don't take forever.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Yay for SiL! :D

She had her little girl yesterday :D She's so cute but look so big in the photos! lol
She was 7lbs 3oz and just over 20inches long. You can tell she's a long baby. She looks just like SiL.. at least in the nose area. DH's family have some strong genes lol. Well except for my other niece.. she looks exactly like her father except for the nose.

But yeah... so happy for SiL. Sounds like her induction went great. Sounds like she pushed for a while but in the end it all turned out fine.

Seeing my new little niece really made me long for another and I dunno... made me even more excited for this one.
If I'm being honest.. I've been feeling a little disconnected from this pregnancy. Probably b/c I'm not obsessing over it like I did with the previous 2. I'm so busy taking care of Oren and Zoe that there's not a lot of time to just sit back and really think about a new LO coming in to our lives. I'm sure once I'm bigger and start feeling the baby it will start feeling a bit more.... real.
I know that's kind of stupid since I've been having worse morning sickness and whatnot. Oh well.

Speaking of Oren and Zoe...

Oren gives high fives now :D Just taught it to him a couple days ago and he gets so happy to do it. He's so darn cute and yep, I do still remember that I need to post pics of him off the camera. Really need to remember to do that already!
He's good though... just growing up so quick and getting a lot more annoyed by Zoe lol.

Zoe is doing well and just in full on annoying toddler mode. I love her to death but holy smokes does she get on my nerves too.
I'm waiting for DH to get home from the store b/c little miss Zoe thought it would be a great idea to go in to Oren's room and play with the diaper rash cream. She got it all over one of his bottles and all over his carpet. SO yeah... I get to carpet clean when DH gets home... really need to text him to hurry up.
Oh and I had to throw the bottle away b/c she put a play pickle in it and now it's stuck. Awesome.....
She's such a trip though. There are the rare moments when she turns back in to my sweet funny little girl :P lol
Like today DH called MiL just to ask what was going on etc... and after the call ended Zoe said "I love her." Awww, right? Then she said " Aww, that was sweet." ROFL.
And she started watching some cartoon on netflix where the main character's name is Johnny so now she's pretending her name is Johnny. Before this... she wanted us to call her either Anna or Elsa depending on which costume dress she had on... and before that.. she wanted us to call her a Ninja. :P
Really love that she's having fun with that.. although it gets a little annoying when she won't answer to her name lol.

Keep asking DH to come up with some cute short girl names.
I think he likes the idea of the baby having his initials so told him to come up with girl names that start with an E.
He named off a few, but one in particular.. I really like. Ella. I think it's short and cute and not one you hear that frequently. Well.. he did say there was a girl at his church that Zoe is friends with named that, but still.... is it that common? It probably is, but I don't care. I like it a lot :D
Not really sure he does and it's not like we don't have a ton of time to find something else.

Alrighty, gotta get back to working on this project that I'm determined to get going. I think I could make at least a little bit of money if I can just figure out how to make it look clean and neat.
First one I'm making is going to be for SiL.... just hope I can figure it out soon.
Other SiL is planning on visiting them in a couple of weeks and I want to send this with her to give to them.
And yes... I'm being vague on what it is lol. I want to keep it secret bc I don't think I've found anything quit like what I'm envisioning :D

Friday, February 5, 2016

Nothing yet

SiL was induced yesterday and as far as I know, no baby just yet. DH got a text last night before bed saying that she was 5cm, so yeah..... maybe something will happen soon, maybe not. Hope something does. Long labor sucks!

I did have a dream about her last night lol. I dreamt that she was in a HUGE room in the hospital. Bouncing on her birthing ball. Her mom and dad were there, along with every single member of her husbands family lol.
I was home with DH and he wanted me to go there and keep him updated, so he totally Bewitches me over to the room :P
That's pretty much the whole dream lol.

I threw up on myself just a little while ago. Was eating my brunch.... drank some water like a fool and felt it. But for some reason I didn't get up to get to a toilet or at least a sink. Oh no... I thought I could hold it back until the feeling left. NOPE!
I threw up all over my shirt and pants. Gross.....

And WTH... My boobs hurt!!! WTF is going on?? Shouldn't I have gotten this at the beginning?? Why is it happening now?

And yep.... nieces dumbass father picked her up late. No excuse... no GD reason he should have picked her up late.
I just want to scream in their face and repeatedly punch him and SiL in their stupid faces. But ya know.. you can't do that with family... but apparently it's totally ok to take advantage of them NP. Frickin assholes.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Today has got to be better right?

First... I really hope SiL's induction goes smooth and quick for her. From what I've heard, she was only at 1cm dilated and baby wasn't down at all. So yeah... thinking it's going to end up a lot like my own induction. Long and boring. Hope that's not the case though and things progress quick.
Whatever the outcome... just hope she and baby are happy and healthy :)

Niece has been here for almost 2 hours now and she's already tried to bite Zoe. I caught her right before she did it and she had the nerve to say she wasn't going to do it.
Then, she decided to scream whine when Zoe got a book she HAD been playing with.
I'm going to try to keep my cool today though.... I just can't keep up this amount of stress for another week.
It's going to be difficult today b/c I'm already fighting a caffeine withdrawal headache (need to take tylenol before it gets worse) and morning sickness feels like it's going to be bad today.

Deep breathes..... lots and lots of deep breathes.......


I'm not positive, but think I may have felt some baby movements the other night.
I'm not sure though. It was in the right area and felt fizzy. I guess that's the 'bubbles' feeling some people feel? Or maybe not.. I dunno. It was a very mild feeling though and I would have missed it any other time of day.
It could've just been gas too though so... who knows.

My uterus still feels achy. I made sure to drink plenty of water yesterday. Could definitely tell I was dehydrated though b/c even though I drank a lot.. I didn't have a lot of bathroom trips.
It's not super painful or anything. A very dull ache every once in a while.

Oren has been sleeping a little better. He's had 1 or 2 nights where he slept through or almost did. And a few nights where he's only woken up once.
We went down to 2oz of formula in each of his night time bottles now. He seems ok with the decrease so far.
I think this weekend.. I may try to just give him a paci instead of feeding him. We'll see what happens.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Uuuuuuugh... is it next Thursday yet??? (ranting and cursing ahead)

I don't know if my sanity will be able to last another week of watching my niece.
It's not just her... b/c Zoe starts acting up too, which just.... UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

Zoe is learning some bad habits and she's also learning that her momma isn't going to take any of that crap. There were SO many time outs and taking away toys and pops on their butts today.... and today wasn't even that bad. Just small incidents like not listening (that was the theme of the day it seems), and talking back and doing things they both know they shouldn't do. Sprinkle in a ton.. A TON of whining and yeah..... today SUCKED BALLS.

Holy crap, I haven't been this stressed out in a while.
I would seriously be taking a few shots to calm my nerves down if I wasn't pregnant and I am not a big drinker at all.
I texted DH and told him I wasn't cooking. I just... no..... I was not cooking. I'd rather starve than just have to deal with anything else today.

I did bake cookies earlier (before I got to my F- it point)..... I totally stress baked b/c I needed some kind of sweet comfort to get me through the rest of the time niece was here.

THEN her GD dad didn't show up until almost 5:30. The bastard gets off before 4 and has gotten here at just after 4 to pick her up. There was NO FUCKING REASON for him to be late. But his excuse? He stopped home to let their dogs out and to play some.
Dude.... WTF??? What the flying fuck?? Your dogs couldn't wait another 30 fucking minutes??
UGH Gawd that really fucking ticked me off (if you couldn't tell by the F bombs... sorry for them all but UGH!).
But it's not surprising from him or SiL. They take advantage of MiL ALL the damn time and pick their daughter up late on a very regular basis for absolute bullshit reasons... if they even bother giving a reason.
Hell, they've even left their daughter with MiL and not picked her up at all and tell MiL nothing. Like oh... she's gonna spend the night with you and we're not going to bother telling you that or ask if it's ok.

Just... ugh.... I want it to be next Thursday already so I don't have to do this anymore. I want my days back with ONLY my kids.

Seriously... Kudos to people out there who take care of someone elses children or work with kids... b/c I sure as hell wouldn't be able to do it. I would go insane if I had to do this on a regular basis.

Oh I love my niece.. but I love her from afar.... just go home and stay there.

I am not a 'love other people's kids!' person at all.. even if they are related to me.

!2w appointment

Sorry I didn't post yesterday after my appointment.

My appointment went well though :) Had to do the usual. Pee in a cup, weighed, blood pressure. Then I got a surprise ultrasound so they could check the baby's heart and everything was fine as far as that :)
Baby was wiggling around and kicking out its legs and heartrate was 169 :)
SO relieved!!
Didn't get any good shots of the baby. She was having trouble getting a good view b/c baby is right at the point of being under my giant fat pooch. Oh well. What I saw was enough to help put my mind at ease.
I then went and talked with the doc for a quick second and learned that the genetic testing wouldn't be done until next visit (16w). That's kind of disappointing b/c I was hoping to just get it out of the way, but oh well.
Then I went and got blood taken... think it was about 6 or 7 vials. Just all the standard stuff including the thyroid thing.
So yeah, pretty standard appointment I think. Was in and out really quick b/c I was one of the only people there.

Think I've been dehydrated these last few days and finally felt it yesterday. My whole uterus area was aching like crazy and I'm still feeling it a bit on the right side. Need to make sure to drink plenty of water today.

Frickin niece..... She's a biter and good lord does it piss me off when she does it. Last time she did it, she almost broke the skin on Zoe's fingers. I spanked her little butt and bit her back :\
I hate spanking and lord knows I don't bite on a normal basis lol, but it just felt like that needed to be done to teach her to not do it.
She didn't bite yesterday so... maybe it worked a little? But while I was at my appointment yesterday, DH says Zoe tried to bite her cousin. UGH... yeah.... learning some great frickin habits there. :\
I can't wait until this is over with though. No more added stress... and deprogramming Zoe to get rid of all the new habits she picks up from her cousin :\

And finally... in better more exciting news....
SiL is going to be induced Thursday morning! :D She had an appointment yesterday or MOnday and baby's heartrate was a bit high so they're not going to let her go any further pretty much. SO happy and excited for her. I hope it goes smooth and quick. Can't wait to see what her lil girl will look like! She's gonna be such a little cutey!

Monday, February 1, 2016

I wants it!!! Give to me!!!!

I wanted to go to the Korean store this weekend and since the baby furniture place is over in that area we went there too. DH gravitated towards this one pretty modern looking set as soon as he saw it.

The crib can be 2 different colors too like the dresser. The one in the store had the back and front of the crib this pretty blue color and the sides were white.
DH liked this 'oiled' finished look that was on another crib that we could get on this if we wanted. Not really sure how it would look. It's hard to tell from the photo but the crib looks very contemporary so not sure how a natural looking finish would look. He also liked this weird black one w/ a red distressed look under the black... if that makes any sense. Like imagine if something had originally been painted red and then someone came and painted over that with black. And over the years, the edges wore down to reveal the red again..... that's how it looked. I didn't really like it, but honestly don't care too much on the colors so long as they're not totally hideous lol.

But.... what else I saw in the store.... I wants it... I wants it for Zoe!!!
It was flipped the other way around, but holy... crap... I want it for Zoe SO damn much!!!! The little doors by the stairs leads in to this adorable little hidey hole spot that actually wraps around to behind the desk and it's lit inside too so it's not like the child would be sitting in the dark in there. And it has a ton of storage space w/ the stairs being drawers and the ones on the sides and the ones at the desk.
I love it! I want it! I wish I was young again so it could be mine! rofl
It was $3100 though... on sale! YIKES. But... we'd be spending that much on that crib/dresser set if we end up getting it.... so if we just got this for Zoe and gave the new baby Zoe's crib and dresser... it would work out to about the same.
DH doesn't wanna do it though... boo :( He says she's too young for it.. and she probably is. I don't think I would trust her too much to come down the steps without injuring herself lol. She was fine doing it at the place (after she busted her lip open playing with a drawer on another piece)... but I was also right there to watch her. Could you imagine a toddler having unsupervised access to stairs all the time? UGH..... Danger.. Danger!!!!!
So maybe in a couple of years this will be something we could get her... not sure what we would do with her crib though, so I doubt this will ever happen :(
I told DH to ask his coworker that does enjoys working with wood how much it would cost him to make it for us lol. And hey, if it's cheaper, that could be an option :D
Anywho.. isn't that so cool?

UUUUGH, Zoe is being so damn whiny this morning. She's trying to do things her cousin is and can't and so the whining starts... lots and lots of whining.
Driving me frickin crazy and it's only 10am.

Oh last Friday when BiL came to pick up niece... good lord he is such an awkward frickin weirdo. I'm weird, but in a good nerdy shy way. He's weird in just a... I dunno... awkward creeper kind of way. Just pick up your child and frickin leave. Don't hang around here to socialize b/c I don't frickin want to. Go away. I'm not saying he's trying to get with me or anything stupid like that... he's just that type of awkward personality that butts their way in to a conversation and then makes the entire conversation extremely uncomfortable for everyone.. ya know?
Anyway... I really hope he just picks her up and leaves.... just take your child and GO.

And apparently MiL was wrong... as usual. I don't want to paint MiL in a bad light b/c she's really not a bad person... she just does some really annoying shit.
Like not listening or half listening.
She's the type to ask you a question a bazillion times and every single time won't listen or will only half listen to the answer.
So SiL was not induced yesterday. She has another ultrasound today and from what MiL says, will have a doctor appointment tomorrow.... but who knows if that's true or not.. or the whole truth.
I'm sure SiL won't be allowed to go too much longer though. Not sure how many weeks she is but I'm fairly sure she's in her 39th.
So yeah... no new niece yet, but soon.

I have my next appointment tomorrow afternoon. I'll report back with whatever goes on. Hopefully with some good news. I just can't shake the worry that I'm feeling.
Doesn't help going on to the August DD board and seeing a few women leaving b/c of miscarriage or finding out they have a blighted ovum :(