Monday, October 26, 2015


And we're all fighting a bad cold.... well everyone but DH, but I'm sure he's gonna get sick soon.
My throat hurt SO bad yesterday when I tried swallowing. Had to take Tylenol to try to help it. It did a little thank goodness.
Oren keeps waking up crying b/c he coughs and can't breathe well b/c he's congested. He's also not eating as much as he usually does b/c of it.
And poor Zoe.... hers got delayed a little and she started coughing yesterday and yeah... it got quickly worse over the day.
Still thankfully only low grade fever for her that gets a little better during the day. She's so worn out though and freaks out when her nose starts running lol. Like it's the end of the world b/c she doesn't have a new Kleenex in hand to wipe away the snot :P

So yeah.... whole lot of fun in this house.
It was our anniversary yesterday, but DH had to work, then went to inlaws house to visit with his sister before she left. Meh.... I wanted to stay home with Oren and get us some rest. Zoe wasn't that bad before they left but when they got home she was a lot worse. Poor baby.
Probably didn't help that DH stayed to watch TWD so they didn't get home until 10:30 lol.
But man... this season of TWD is INTENSE so far! Holy crap.

Anyway.. he's off today. We still haven't done anything b/c 3 out of 4 of us feel like shit. We should've gone grocery shopping but haven't. I really should've cleaned up Zoe's puke spot... but I haven't yet... (gross I know).... just a lot of stuff is on the backburner until I have more energy.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

And we're sick...

Oren, Zoe and myself are all sick. Poor Zoe had fallen asleep early the other night. Woke up right before we went to bed and threw up everywhere. Thankfully no more throw up, but she has been running a low fever since then. It's 9:30 and she's still sleeping. She woke up at 6 this morning for some water and laid in bed with me.
And Oren is super congested. Think his sinuses are draining and it's giving him this gawd awful sounding cough.
And myself... just have that overall BLAH feeling where one min I'm hot and the next I'm cold. Runny nose, slightly sore throat, and a headache.
Pretty sure we caught this at the fair. Could've been the zoo too I guess, but we touched a lot more stuff at the fair.

Not sure if we'll be taking Zoe to her first trunk or treat event this Halloween. It's at aunt's church and I just don't want to expose any other kids to this.
Anywho... yep.. that's what is going on here. Just sick and feeling like crap.

Thursday, October 22, 2015


I have some anxiety issues and this shit is not helping.
My mom called earlier. Thought it was going to be the normal reasons... b/c she wants to see her grandkids or she needs me to get ahold of my brother for her for something.

NOPE.... she called because she wants us to take out a 30k loan for her so she can buy a house.
What? NO!!!
She along with a few other family have this weird idea that DH and I are swimming in money. Like we wipe our asses with hundred dollar bills or something.
Granted, she did say loan, but 30k? That's a lot of money. She is good on her word that she'll pay it back, but still... NO.
Would I like to help if I could? Sure.... but when it comes to money? No. It's not that I'm putting money over her by any means... it's just that if something were to go wrong..... we'd be SCREWED. My DH's credit would be the thing to be totally fucked up.
It's why she can't get the loan. B/c she did favors for others and they screwed her over.
Again, I don't think she would do that to us, but if something unexpected happened.... we would be the ones taking the hit like she did years ago.

I already told her not to expect good news once I talked to DH about it.
It makes feel horrible for saying no, but this is just too much. We have 2 kids to take care of and think about their futures and OUR futures.
Hell, my mom already used my name on her home without me even knowing. Lord knows what else is under my name. I don't even want to think about that shit.
Oh and of course she uses that as a plus. When she moves out of her apartment, we can sell it for 30k or something and keep the money! HA... no..... her apartment is not worth 30k... and even if it was.. no one in their right mind would pay that to live there...... no one.

Thanks mom for putting us in this shitty situation! We get to tell you No and feel guilty and like giant pieces of shit about it. Thanks so much for that!!

Am I wrong for feeling this way? What would you guys do?

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

And here she is

AF has arrived. I was a little off to when I thought it would come but not much.
And this last cycle was long... 45days. I'm not complaining too much about that though. It's nice to actually have cycles and ovulate.
I actually had a tiny amount of spotting yesterday, but AF didn't actually start until I got up this morning. Literally got out of bed and gush.... ew.

Anywho! On to a new cycle and waiting to see if we get pregnant or not lol.
I had a dream last night that the other SiL found out she was pregnant and I just got AF in the dream and it broke my heart that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not heartbroken now or anything, but I am a little disappointed. I really do want another, but like I've said... if it doesn't happen, then I am perfectly happy with my 2 amazing rugrats :)

OH! Oren had his checkup the other week. He was 20something pounds and I don't remember how tall he is. He's good though. He had 2 shots. Flinched for the first, and then flinched and cried a couple of seconds for the 2nd one lol. Aww.
Vaccines don't knock him out like they did for Zoe.

And yep... here are a few photos from the last couple of days! :D

At the fair

And at Boo at the Zoo last night

Zoe didn't want to wear her Darth Vader mask, but she wanted to wear the Zebra one she got :P
The last pic was from a magic show that they had going. It was the last show and pretty late so only a couple of kids there. She got to help the magician out... but as you can see... she was eyeballing the tube of candy the entire time lol.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

And it's a big fat.......

Stupid FRERs.
Test this morning is BFN. Thankfully it's looking like this test has no questionable faint line on it like the previous one did.
AF didn't show yesterday. Good thing b/c I totally forgot to wear a pad! That would've been hella embarrassing. I could've been a day or so off with when I got AF too so it could start today too. Tomorrow at the latest I think. If AF is still MIA tomorrow, I'll go get more tests and test again, but I don't think that will be necessary.

Boo for BFN :(

The fair was really fun yesterday. First time letting Zoe ride on anything and she frickin LOVED it! Holy cow did she love it. Especially those swings that get lifted in the air and swung around in a big circle. She had a huge smile on her face the entire time she was on them and started rocking her seat back and forth.
We didn't buy one this year, but next year... a ride pass will be a good investment.

I also got sunburned... awesome. Stupid me didn't even think about sunblock or anything b/c it was cold out. Yeah... sun don't stop working just b/c it's cold LOL. Oops. Both kids are ok though.
Overall it was really fun. Zoe and her cousin didn't listen to anyone for shit, but we l figured that would happen.

Tonight we're going to Boo at the Zoo with almost everyone. Need to modify my dress some before. Make it look a bit more like a stormtrooper. Need to figure out what we're going to do for Zoe's costume. If she's going to wear what she did to the con or if we're going to try the actual costume on her. Need to take the shoes off of it.

FX that my period, if it shows, stays light b/c my dress is white....... yeah...that would suck if... well.....yeah.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Well... shit....BOOO FRER!!!!

So I decided to test this morning like I said I was going to do. Saw that I actually have 2 FRERs left, WOO! lol
I first used the walmart one I had. Meh....
Then used one of the FRERs. Well... something is on that FRER but with how they were before... I don't know if it's just a shitty test like previous months or if it's actually a 2nd line.
It's very faint, but it's not a case of line eye this time. There IS a very faint line there, but I can't see color...or well.. one min I think I do, then the next I don't.

I tried getting a photo but we all know how that turns out lol. Here it is anyway with the contrast/brightness enhanced some.
It's hard to see it but trust me.... it's there. I swear it's not a case of line eye or wishful thinking LOL.

Grrr, it's like trying to take a picture of a pretty moon.... your eye sees one thing and your camera picks up none of it!

Damnit FRER.... why you doing this to me again? SIGH!
I'm not going to test tomorrow. Oh not b/c I won't be tempted, but mostly b/c we're going to the fair and DH will be home and all that good stuff, so I'll be distracted :D But if period is MIA, I'll test on Tuesday.
I think by then, IF there is something actually there that's not just a faulty test, it should be obvious.

BOOO, wish there was another good pink dye test out there. Sure there's Answer, but they've been really bad with indents before.
Why do all of the store brands have to be blue dye?? SIIIIIIIGH!!!!

Oh and I still don't really think I'm pregnant. There's been no weird symptoms or anything... not that I really expect anything this early if I was.

Ok, it's been about an hour and looking at the test more in different light.. it appears to be just a faulty test..... at least that's what I think. We'll see though :) I'm still wearing a pad to the fair tomorrow :P

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Noooo, I was one of 'those' people!

So DH's sister is in town and we went out to dinner tonight with them.
After everyone is done eating, she comes over to our side of the table and we start chit chatting with her. She starts talking about how she's been having a little bit of pain on her side. Nothing serious, but obviously she's concerned and calls her doctor to ask about it and they tell her to go to the ER to get it checked out if it happens again and it does. It's nothing but she wanted to be sure before she got on a plane.
And I turned in to THAT person. One of those people that make a stupid ass comment to a pregnant woman.
For some reason I got it in to my head that she was further along than she actually is and I said..
"Your sis would've been on the news if she had given birth on the plane!" Yeah.... she's only about 24-26w.............. so giving birth now would not be a good thing.... AND SiL has had 2 m/c before.
Just.... ugh. As soon as it came out of my mouth... I remembered that she wasn't as far along as I thought and... yeah.... see... THIS is why I don't talk much IRL b/c awkward stupid shit always comes out. SIGH! /facepalm

Thankfully if it did give her pause, she didn't say anything and kept the conversation up. Still though.... I just want to bury my head after saying that.

Anyway... she's so excited about being pregnant and she looks so amazing too. She has one of those cute perfect D bumps. She's going to make such a great mom. She already is a great mom. That's one lucky little girl she's having.
I just wish they lived here so all of the cousins could grow up together.

Think I'm going to test tomorrow. I don't think I'm pregnant, but meh.... I'll test anyway. I think my period is going to start on Monday (the day we're going to the fair.... awesome...). I could wait until then, but again... meh lol.
I'm def getting some PMS headaches which sucks ass. And I noticed last cycle that I get extremely irritable after ovulation. A bit too quick to yell at Zoe which then makes me feel guilty for doing it. Thankfully once it happened a couple of times, it dawned on me why so I'm better at keeping myself in check after. So that sucks, but hey... at least I am ovulating and having cycles (even if this one was very long) so YAY :D

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Clean water would be nice

It takes about 3 and a half bottles of water to clean 3 bottles, 3 nipples, 3 bottlecaps. That's a lot of bottles for just that amount of things to wash. I refuse to use boiled water b/c while that may kill any bad bacteria, it's not going to get rid of any harmful chemicals that could still be in the water.
So yeah... I'm glad we started up an emergency stash b/c it's def coming in handy right now. Still though.... wish the water was safe to use already.
We've been eating sandwiches and eating out to keep from dirtying up anymore dishes and the ones in the sink REALLY need to be washed. So gross to leave them just sitting there b/c again.. I just refuse to use boiled water.
Washing in it... washing hands in it. I"m fine with... but ingesting it? No thanks.

While I've been enjoying eating sandwiches... it would be nice to be able to cook something if I wanted and be able to wash the dishes after.
Oh well.... minor-ish worry. It could've been worse here and I'm glad it wasn't.

Zoe had a monumental meltdown this morning. Good googly moogly she just had a screaming fit b/c I took the tablet away from her. She gets super frustrated with it b/c it will freeze or go off or whatever. So I told her to calm down or I was going to take it away. Her response was "No! It's mine!" Then proceeded to whine some more. Yeah... I wasn't having that so I took it away from her.
Cue the tantrum. Been making her go sit on her bed until she calms down and that just didn't go over with her well either.
Oh the joys lol....
She eventually started crying and carrying on b/c she had to pee, so I allowed her to come out and do it and she was fine after that.
I'm sure it's normal, but dang....I wish she wouldn't whine so damn much. Whining was annoying before kids, but now that I have one that constantly does it... holy hell! lol

Oren is doing well. He's cutting his top teeth right now. Or well, they're almost popping through.
He's been good though. Still army crawling and doing his baby yoga downward dog poses all the time.
He has his appointment later this week on DH's birthday. I'm sure he'll be getting a couple of shots then. Poor little guy doesn't know what's comin.
He loves Zoe though. Always, ALWAYS has a huge smile on his face when he sees her and follows her around the living room.
She loves him to death too. Maybe a little too much sometimes b/c she's sat on him, laid on him, rode him like a pony, and yeah......
She obviously doesn't understand that she could hurt him.
I think we got really lucky with our little monkeys and how much they adore eachother.
Of course that's right now though... who knows what they'll be like when they're older lol.

Oh and Zoe's cousin had her birthday party at Chuck E Cheese this past Friday. First time there for Zoe and she loved it. It was SO loud and crowded though so it was difficult to get on any rides or play games. She still had a lot of fun...... so much so that she once again had a full on screaming tantrum when it was time to leave.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Yeah.... I suck

So someone just posted their before and after weight loss photos. You know who you are if you still come here and read this.
Seriously... she looks frickin AMAZING.
It just shows me though how uncommitted I've been to losing weight... or well.. for the most part. I know it's all a personal struggle journey and I really shouldn't compare myself to others, but still... it just depressed the hell out of me. I should be closer to my goal by now but no... I'm so flip floppy with everything and make SO many excuses to be bad.
UGH.... I suck :\

I'm still determined though. We've been pretty bad this week. Mostly from laziness but also b/c we're still under boil water advisory and the thought of washing dishes even in boiled water grosses me out. So we've been eating lots of sandwiches.
I should still be exercising though. I'm mostly done with my big project (need to add some details but meh....).... so I have no excuse other than just being lazy.

Nope... not again. I need to start back up. I need to take this awesome woman's success, use it as inspiration. She can do it and so do many others out there.... so can I!!! I'm not perfect... I'm going to have some shitty moments... some lasting longer than others, but I'm going to get to my goal!!

REALLY hoping our water is safe to use again by next week, but even if it's not and we're still eating junk... we're going to start exercising again. I wanted to finish up p90, but with how long we haven't exercised, DH convinced me that we should just start over from the beginning again. It makes since and that's what we're going to do.
I think if we started from the last 30 days.. it would burn us out and we wouldn't continue.
Also, I need to get bck in the habit of making a  meal plan again.
Again, DH suggested that we eat the same things every week with maybe a day of something different. That way it will be much easier to get whatever we need and less chance of cheating.
We can try it for a little bit and see what happens. Just need to figure out what to eat though.

SO yeah..... seeing this woman's success just showed me that... I need to stop with the excuses.. stop sabotaging my efforts and just keep it up. And I definitely can't let set backs keep me from continuing on. I'm not perfect.. I'm going to cheat.. there will be times I don't exercise b/c of laziness, but I'm going to keep going..... I'm going to be a success!! For my kids, for my vanity.... for my health.

Thursday, October 8, 2015


So yeah, I haven't washed dishes since Sunday when the flooding happened and the dishes REALLY need to be washed. But with the boil water advisory going on.... I don't want to lol. I will tomorrow though. Will just have to suck it up, boil a ton of water and get the dishes done b/c BOY is the sink stank right now. *barf*

In other news... Zoe had an accident in her bed today. It's only the 2nd time it has happened and she has a one of those crib mattresses that have the water resistant layer outside so meh... just have to wash everything and it's all good.
She's been really good with going potty though. Usually don't have to ask her if she has to go anymore. She just does it. I do wish the potty depth was a bit deeper b/c the girl has some HUGE poops and it ends up brushing against her butt so it makes a huge mess lol... ew.

Had to go to the store yesterday for formula. We've been ordering Oren's Baby's Only stuff off of amazon b/c it's cheaper. But b/c of the bad weather it was delayed. I thought Baby's Only was more expensive, but no.... frickin Enfamil is like $5 more per can. YEESH.
It's giving Oren some gross loose poop now too, but whatever. It's feeding him and that is what matters.
We did get the package last night though so yay for that.

I think I'm ovulating today. I had some EWCM yesterday and was.... *ahem*... super 'in the mood'. DH was tired though so we didn't DTD. We haven't for a few days so I don't think there's any chance for pregnancy. Good for DH... boo for me lol. Oh well :P

Speaking of the bad weather... thankfully the sun came out on Tuesday and it's been clear skies since, but it has given people a false sense of safety. There are a lot of roads partially washed away and still threats of dams failing.
Frickin MORONS out on the road completely ignoring and going around barricades, then getting themselves killed or putting rescue workers in danger b/c they need to be saved.
Anyway... just morons thinking they're invincible. :\

And yeah... really nothing much going on. The house is a MESS right now. Dishes be funky, kids are good and so are we so.. yeah... we're good here for the most part :) heh

Monday, October 5, 2015

Let this be a lesson... prepare for emergencies!!!

So Zoe spent the night with aunt again. I was going to pick her up this morning, but MiL didn't want me driving or whatever. Fine... DH could get Zoe after work.
Get a call a couple of hours later saying that they're going to the store and I can get her there.
That's fine too.

So I go and holy crap.... there are SOOOOOOOO many people at the store trying to get supplies it is RIDICULOUS.
Seriously people?? It's not like this came as a surprise... we were warned for a week give or take a day that this was going to happen, yet people STILL didn't bother to get any kind of supplies.

Yes, the weather can change at the drop of a hat, and they warn things are going to happen and nothing major does. It happens a lot, but even in those situations, you should still take the warning seriously and prepare!

But nope.. these same people aren't going to do anything the next time either. They'll be the same ones rushing to the store, crowding it and panicking to buy any supply they can.

Just let this be a lesson people. PLEASE get yourselves a small stash of food and water and a few first aid items for a just in case emergency. Even if nothing ever happens, at least you have peace of mind b/c you'll know that you can just hunker down and won't need to go out in the mess and fight the crowd for supplies.
You never know when the next emergency is going to be... so start buying ASAP. Doesn't have to be all at once.
Just an extra pack of bottled water, few canned goods, maybe some rubbing alcohol and peroxide on your next grocery trip. And buy a little more every grocery trip. Things you'll eat before it expires, things that you don't need to use water for (or at least not a lot of water), and things you can eat straight out of the can. These things aren't expensive at all and can be stashed under your bed or in the back of your closet and out of the way.

Anyway.... just a friendly reminder to take warnings seriously and start your stash up.
You want enough supplies for at least a few days, but a week or more is best.

Sunday, October 4, 2015


Looks like my state is getting hit pretty hard by rain right now. Lots of flooding around this area. Thankfully we're ok here and outside looks like any other rainy day.
It rained here almost the entire week, then this weekend we got hit with just constant heavy rains which is causing flooding.
Pretty crazy, this doesn't happen here... or at least I don't remember this happening other than when we got hit by Hurricane Hugo years and years ago.

Thankfully though, it wasn't too bad yesterday and we were still able to go to the comic con. It was pretty fun, but we didn't stay that long. Just WAY crowded and my feet were getting torn up b/c I'm not used to wearing regular shoes and both kids were soaked b/c while we were waiting to cross the street, a truck rolled on up and splashed all of us pretty good lol. Poor Zoe and Oren were just soaked, but Oren was in a great mood anyway and Zoe got over it and really enjoyed seeing everyone in costume. We wanted to get her a balloon super hero that this guy was making but the line didn't move at all for the 30min we stood in it and Zoe was getting really restless. Oh well...

Here's a photo of us at home before we left :)
We bought Zoe a Darth Vader costume, but she didn't want to wear it at first so I put her Darth V shirt on w/ the skirt and leggings. Plus the costume was a bit too long for her anyway. Need to figure out how to shorten it a little. May cut the faux boot part off.
Oh and we took the cape from the costume and just safety pinned it to her shirt lol. It was just a simple look, but a lot of people at the con kept complimenting her and how cute she looked.
DH's costume is just a big pajama thing from Target lol. The mask is a paper mask from Target too. It came in a pack of 2 for $3.
You can't tell from this photo but Oren is Han Solo. I made his vest (it looks so crap up close lol), and we bought a button up white onesie for him and I added the red stripe to some sweat pants. He looked SO stinkin cute. :D
Really proud of my dress too. I don't think anyone realized what it was supposed to be but oh well. Wanted to keep it more simplistic, but guess I do need to add a few more details to it so it looks more like a Stormtrooper heh.
And I must say.... my hair didn't cooperate, but I was really happy with how my makeup turned out.
I haven't worn makeup in YEARS..or well, this amount. I seriously had makeup from when I was a teenager... a TEENAGER.... I'm 36!!! lol I threw away 90% of the makeup I had b/c it was so old lol.
Anyway... I bought a few things and managed to do it all pretty well following some youtube videos :) Managed a pretty winged liner with a smoky eye.

Here's a photo of Oren and DH at the con. You can see Oren's costume  bit better.

We'll be going to the Boo at the Zoo dressed up too and some trunk or treat things at Dh's church and aunts church. Will be having lots of fun :D

Already planning our costumes for next year's con/Halloween.
I want to do metal versions of Nightmare Before Christmas Characters. DH wants to do something goofy and dress as Saved By The Bell characters which I think would be hilarious lol. We'll see what happens :D
It was all fun though. It's mostly just a bunch of vendors selling their stuff. We bought some nice geeky car decals, but nothing else. Next year we'll spend more time at the event and enjoy it more..... hopefully with no threat of flooding ruining the mood heh.
And seeing all of the really cool cosplaying and how rewarding it felt to make my dress is making me want to get in to sewing more.
Doing it by hand kind of sucked, but it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be and I would really like to make more clothes/costumes.

And DH finally went to see a doc. He went before the con to an Urgent Care.  His rash was an allergic reaction to something. No idea what, but he's looking a lot better now. So yay for that too :)

And my CM is definitely turning to EWCM and yep... we DTD last night for the first time in weeks :P It wasn't b/c I had cm or anything....we were just both wanting it since we hadn't done it in forever and his rash and other whatnots cleared up.
So yep.... let the TWW obsession start! I'm not sure I've ovulated just yet, but I think we're DTD close enough to it for there to be potential for some baby making going on.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Booo weather!!!

So it seems that we're supposed to be getting an obscene amount of rain tomorrow... ya know.. the day of the convention I made the dress for... sigh.
Not sure if we're going to be able to go if it does rain how they're saying it's supposed to. We'll see.

DH is in Atlanta right now for work. He should be getting back later tonight.
I still haven't convinced him that we should have another baby lol. I just can't shake the feeling. I want another.... I love my babies so much... I just want one more. Really wish it hadn't taken us so long to have kids, but I know it's what was the best thing. We weren't ready to have kids when we were younger, and well.... we have 2 great kids now :)
But... it wouldn't have felt like such a rush to have more kids and we could've spaced them out more.

Oh well....

Speaking of that... this is some TMI grossness right here.
You know that slime goopy stuff you can buy for kids? Just gross slimy goo that stretches and feels kinda cold and wet.... well... I just used the bathroom and wiped away A LOT A LOT A WHOLE LOT of cm that was just like that stuff. I mean... just a whole frickin ton of it on the tp and some even plopped on to my hand as I was wiping (bleh). It was super duper thick too which I have never experienced before and felt just like that slime stuff kids play with. Just... yuck LOL.
So yeah... looks like my body is going to be ovulating soon. Don't think this is quite fertile CM.
Even if it was though... we can't do much bc DH has jock itch.... aka a yeast infection lol.
He'd be so mad if he knew I shared that bit of info but oh well. At least he thinks that's what it is. He's being a total guy about it and won't see a doctor... at least not yet.
He's had it for like, 2? weeks now and it's only getting worse and itchy and he's miserable. But noooo... lets wait and see what happens before just going to the damn doctor to get it checked out... sigh.
So yeah... unless it clears up within a few days... we won't be doing the deed or anything... not that we're actually trying though lol.

Alrighty.... still working on the costumes. I promise I won't forget to post photos when everything is done and we're all dressed up :)