Friday, May 31, 2013


Just got done with the movie. About to head to bed b/c I am POOPED.
That movie though... lol (Magic Mike in case you didn't read my last post). Yes, there was some eye candy in it but I dunno, that kind of stuff just doesn't do anything for me. It wasn't a bad movie though surprisingly enough. Nothing deep or great about it, but not bad.

Anywho, been thinking lately and getting that damn mommy guilt. I feel guilty for not doing certain things with Zoe. Like reading to her. We haven't read anything to her in terms of like, bed time stories. I think we should start, but getting that guilt for not doing it sooner.

Also, I don't let her watch any kind of baby/kid tv. I watch what I want to watch and yeah... she'll look at the tv if she recognizes a sound. Like she recognizes Ellen's theme song and the Price is Right whenever I leave it on that.
She really doesn't take that much of an interest in the tv though so I don't see the point in putting some kind of cartoon on that's going to make me want to poke a hot iron pick in my ears lol.

I know logically, overall we're doing just fine and I don't have any reason to feel guilty, but I'm sure most moms/parents get this feeling every once in a while right?
Just that inadequate feeling that keeps you up sometimes.

Wow, it's been that long??

We just printed more photos today and apparently, we haven't printed any since January!! Good lord.... lol
We had both thought we had printed some later than that but guess not lol. Just shows how quickly time flies by sometimes.

Gosh, looking at the photos of Zoe. It's so hard to believe that some of them were just a couple of months ago and how much she has grown. It's like an eternity and a second at the same time. So strange.
I wish I had held her more when she was a newborn b/c now... she is a squirmy independent little diva. She does still like to be held, but if she sees something that she wants to mess with she goes for it... repeatedly. Not sure if she grasps the word NO yet or if she chooses to just ignore it lol.

Anyway, with the next, I'll definitely cherish the first few months more than I did with Zoe. I'll probably be even more exhausted taking care of 2 LOs but I'm gonna be doing my best :)

All alone tonight with Zoe.

One of DH's friends is having some kind of pre-birthday gamers night with friends. DH took his computer over there to play games and whatnot with whoever is there.
I really don't like being home without him here at night. I'm paranoid with him here... so without him is a bit.....scary.
It's not that we even live in a bad neighborhood or anything.... just paranoia.
But anywho, I hope he has fun. His friends are good people... thank goodness.

Anywho, I have my giant bowl of ice cream (yes, I am cheating like a mofo on my diet) and about to watch Magic Mike on HBOGo (thanks SiL for giving us her password for it! hehe).

Thursday, May 30, 2013


Damn you nature!!!!!!!!!!!

Our backyard needs to be mowed BAD. Well I finally remembered to water the garden this morning in the backyard....
For my troubles? I got a frickin tick buried in my shoulder!!!!!!! BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH

OMG I'm itching all over so bad even though I didn't even feel it bite me. The only reason I saw it was b/c I had just gotten done spraying out a poopy diaper, I was washing my hands and looked in the mirror and noticed a dark splotch and swollen redness. Looked closer and *barf* saw the frickin legs move!
I checked my body and can't see anymore, but I can't really check my head very well. I did it as well as I could but there could be something up there. I'm gonna be so paranoid about this all day :(

Oh and another bad thing... the tick didn't come out clean. I tried following directions to remove it, and I think I squeezed the body, a big no no... and the body broke off. Now I'm paranoid about that shit!!! Didn't seem like the tick had managed to suck anything out of me. I caught it within just minutes of it attaching I think, but still.... GROSS.

Gotta check the dogs now. I think their flea stuff also prevents ticks so hopefully they'll be clean.

Frickin parasites man.... there just isn't a reason for this shit!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


Went to Once Upon a Child looking for more shorts for Zoe.... they're having a big clearance sale where things are 50% off. Bought $40 worth of stuff for $20... WOO! Can't beat that :D
Got her a few shorts, another tutu, some dresses, outfits etc :D
I wanted to get her a new toy too but can't find the right thing. I'll have to go again with DH. Need more than one set of hands to dig through all of the stuff.
Anywho, she should be good to go for a while. Her 12m old clothes actually fit her perfectly now. Probably should've gotten some 18m old stuff (actually I did get one thing). *shrugs* Oh well.

Another :D

Zoe has another tooth about to break through! It's one of her upper ones. Not either of the front 2, but one right next to them.
I think the pain or discomfort... however it feels is causing some super grumpiness issues though.
She was obviously tired at bedtime last night, but didn't actually get to sleep until almost 2 hours later. Thankfully she did sleep through though. That seems to be sticking which I'm really thankful for.

UGH DH pissed me off yesterday. Not really anything he did, but what he said. And not even pissed at HIM, just whoever said that babies around this age should only be taking one nap a day.
Kinda ticked at DH for thinking that whatever he reads is the be all end all with NO variations. He's not an idiot by any means, but he takes the baby information as gospel.
Anyway, I got pissed at that and said that she's going to continue to take her 2 naps until SHE doesn't want to any longer.

I really need to wipe off Zoe's jumperoo again. It's so gross. Baby finger foods are disgusting and get nasty slimy goo EVERYWHERE. Then it dries and leaves this crust and just... bleh! lol

Oh I actually exercised yesterday. I know... shocked me too! rofl
I didn't do it until 2:40. I tried to come up with every excuse not to and finally just did it. It's going to be like that for a while.
 Going to have to fight with myself to get it done, but I have to do it. There is no other option. This weight MUST come off if we're ever going to have another LO.
I have to get my cycle back first, and then start tracking ovulation again.
I only have 2 IC OPKs left out of everything. Not going to buy more until I get a period on my own.
I still haven't taken the provera yet. I really need to. I'll start that soon.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Photos!!!!And video :D

Finally got some uploaded. There are a bunch more I need to look through but these will have to do for now.

And 2 video of her trying to whistle..... and getting upset at the end of one of them b/c she wants to lay down lol. One of them, you can hear her whistle just a little bit :D

Vid 1 Vid 2

Monday, May 27, 2013


Just wanted to quickly say that Zoe has finally gotten a tooth!! You can't see it yet but you can feel it. It's one of her bottom front ones. YAY! :D

Also, she is trying to whistle :D Not sure if I can get a video of it but I'll try.
I whistle songs to her all the time (I just whistle a lot anyway) and she's been mimicking us a lot and she tries to whistle. It's so cute and she can kind of get a small whistle out. :D

Lazy Lazy

Zoe is down for her first nap finally.
Girl has been fighting her sleep for a solid week + now.
Not sure what the heck is going on with her. Maybe she is teething and it's causing this behavior.

Also, it's going to be a lot easier to wean her off of the bottle. This also makes me think she might be getting teeth soon too, but all of a sudden, she just doesn't want her formula as much any longer.
Yesterday, she only had 12oz of formula the entire day. Again it could just be that her gums are bothering her or something and she'll start wanting her bottle more, but *shrugs*

She does want to eat ALL the time. Not sure if she's going through some kind of growth spurt or what but the girl would probably eat every hour if she could lol.
For the most part she is a good eater, but there have been a few gagging/choking moments when she tries to ram food in to her mouth too quickly.

She is also testing her limits now too. She's always had a fascination for our glasses, but now... now it's gotten to the point of her just grabbing them and not wanting to let go. Not sure if she fully understands the word NO yet, but boy have we been saying it to her lol. She's also gotten in to the bad habit of wanting to hit your face. She's not doing it out of anger or frustration or anything negative though, but we're trying to get her to learn that that isn't acceptable. Difficult when I don't think she understands that yet hehe.

And yes, I'm being lazy posting photos. I swear I will soon. Just gotta get my lazy ass in to motion and do it.

Confession time....
I'm so jealous of some of the women in my due date group. Sigh...
It's actually kind of shocking that none of them have gotten pregnant again yet, BUT some of them are starting to TTC again and I know will most likely get pregnant soon.

It's my own fault. I could be one of them if I had just stuck with healthier living, but oh no...
The ugly green eyed monster is coming out in me and I just can't help but feel it. I don't want to but it's there.
Still determined to start in the Fall though and that's approaching quickly. So even if one of them gets pregnant soon, I know I'll be close behind.. with at least the TTC again aspect :)

And ranting a little.
I'm SO sick and tired of skinny people telling fat people to stop eating and get up off the couch! Herherher.
Now, I know laziness and not exercising are one of the reasons I am fat, BUT I do NOT overeat the majority of the time just like every other person out there.
There are moments when I do overeat on things that I enjoy. Like.... uhm... ice cream or fried chicken (frickin love me some fried chicken) for example.... we don't have either of those often, but when we do, I do tend to eat more than I should.
But other than that... I eat a normal size meal. All of my food fits on to one plate, with more than enough room to pile on more food if I wanted. I'm not sitting here stuffing my face 24/7.
Just pisses me off when people see overweight people as all lazy gluttons that have food in both hands and more coming out of our ears or something.

We're thinking about letting Zoe spend the day with her Granny (MiL) one day. Not sure when though. Probably some time in June since that's when a bunch of movies we want to see comes out heh.
NOT overnight though.
Sleeping like a baby does NOT apply to Zoe.
The girl is very particular about where she sleeps. She'll gladly fall asleep in the car/carseat, and will sleep in her crib, but anywhere else..... not unless she is dead dead dead tired.
AND she is a light sleeper. DH and I have to be SO quiet and careful when checking on her b/c I swear, she can sense us and starts to stir awake. She's not a heavy sleeper at all and MiL's house is VERY loud with her (MiL), their tv, and their fucking yippy ass dogs that bark at the wind every frickin 5 minutes.
Just do not see Zoe spending the night there any time soon.

MiL and her sister's attitudes towards us and Zoe is starting to piss me off. For some reason, they have this fear that we're keeping Zoe from them. Uhm.... what?? Nevermind that we see them almost every damn Friday, AND WE are the ones that call them up on Sunday to see if they're going out to lunch after church so we can go to so they can see her.
I think they're under the impression that we think we're too good for them or something. Absolutely NO idea where they got that idea from. I rant about them a lot on here, but I've NEVER even hinted at anything was wrong before.
It's like when MiL buys Zoe clothes. Some of the stuff is ugly, not going to lie, but I'm still very grateful for it all. Almost all of it is 2nd hand stuff which I have zero problem with. But MiL ALWAYS asks if I'm going to let Zoe wear it because it's 2nd hand.
She knows that I buy Zoe clothes from the 2nd hand shop!!! Just UGH.... does my head in sometimes lol.

What else can I blab about now that I have some ME time! WOO! lol

Other than my guilty pleasure of celebrity news.... I also enjoy reading conspiracy theories lol. I think I've mentioned this before.
Can't help it, I just think they're interesting and it's fun to look at all of the 'evidence'.
Some of them are pretty convincing and I do have a problem with Fluoride in our water. Seriously... there's no reason for that shit to be in it. If the government gave half a shit about our dental health, they would make dental care fucking free.
But anyway!
There is one though that is so frickin INSANE that I can't help but laugh. You can go on youtube and look at the videos people post.
There's a theory that there are reptilian shapeshifters out there. Yeah... you read that shit right. As in frickin 'V' style shit.
The video evidence is mostly slowed down shit of single frames where it looks like the pupils in the eyes turn to slits, or where the person licks their lips or some stupid shit.
I swear, it is the dumbest craziest crap people believe in.
I have my own beliefs and all, but some of the ones out there are just...... wow....

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Poor little butt

I wish Zoe's skin wasn't so sensitive. Her poor butt never seems to catch a break for very long.
We've been doing CIO method to try to break her of her habit of wanting a bottle during the night.
So when she cries, unless it's shrieking, we don't check on her until after it's obvious she is asleep, and maybe not even then.
Well, she's been pooping during the night, so we don't check on her means she sleeps w/ the poop all night long and it wreaks havoc on her poor little butt.
It looks a lot better now than it did, but MAN, it looks terrible before. Raw, red, thankfully not bleeding, but it was very close to being that bad.

I woke up at 2 last night on my own, she woke up soon after (I swear she can sense it), and I couldn't sleep. I had to check on her and sure enough, poop. It was pellets which means she was constipated and it means usually, there's more to come soon after. That kept me up until after 4 worrying about it. Sigh.

Life of a parent I guess. If it isn't one thing worrying you, it's another :)

Zoe wants to walk SO bad. She's still not too confident with it yet, but she is quickly getting there. She wants her independence and at the same time wants more attention now too.
I love having her on my lap, playing and talking with her, but sometimes... I need some me time! lol
I need to get as much as possible now while we still only have one hehe.

Speaking of that. No exercise this week. I think my body was reverting back to eating right and it was NOT happy about it. I felt like total shit almost the entire week. I didn't get the 'carb flu', but I just felt so off and not well. Like when your blood sugar is low... I wasn't shaky but I just had that really bad off feeling, and I had a lot of headaches too.
I'm gonna get this shit going though. I feel normal now and there are no more excuses.... even though I'm sure I'm going to try to think of some lol.
Finally weighed myself and thankfully I've only gained back a pound which shocked me. Sucks that I gained anything, but it is what it is.

I'm not going to be so low carb this time. I've been eating yogurt to see if it will help with my digestive issues. That crap has so much sugar in it but, oh well. That many carbs shouldn't be a problem for once a day.

SiL had her... erm... 12? week scan this week. She texted me a photo of her LO. Looked like a cute Venom hehe. It's so insane how quickly they develop... inside and out.
Still can't believe that Zoe is going to be ONE... frickin ONE in only a few more months!
Holy hell where has the time gone??

Monday, May 20, 2013

Back to it then

Gotta make this quick, Zoe is getting restless in her jumper heh.

So, after a nice long bloated couple of weeks eating shit food, we're back to healthy and exercising. I'm going to have to really really REALLY force myself to exercise. Just the thought of it makes me tired lol.
I haven't stepped back on to our scale. I'm afraid to and don't plan on doing it for a while lol.
I can still make that Fall goal of TTC seriously again if I just stick with this.
Dunno why I always sabotage myself though. Just one of those things...

Zoe is doing really great. She's still not sttn completely and often wakes still when she was getting fed before. That's my own fault for getting her used to that. I've been feeding her at 5 though. I think that's fair and she goes back to sleep for a couple more hours which I really need.
She is getting so big. She wants to eat ALL the time it seems.
And her personality is definitely taking shape. She's a silly little diva.

I think her 2 front bottom teeth are going to be showing up soon. Her gums in that area have been swollen for a while now. Other than that, I can see her teeth under her gums whenever I get a look, but nothing has cut yet.

The girl is still obsessed with the cat. Sigh... Had to stop her a dozen times since she got attacked from going after the cat AGAIN lol.
She better not ask for a cat when she gets older. DH and I both agree that this cat will be our last.

She can repeat " Hi Dada" I think I mentioned that already. Don't think she knows what it means though. And she's started doing the baby wave (the fingers thing). So cute.

We found the usb cord for our camera so I can upload some photos. I'll do that later when someone isn't being fussy :D

Friday, May 17, 2013

Silly baby

It is so fun watching Zoe develop. It's like you get to experience all of these new normally mundane things with them and I dunno, it's just amazing.

I was singing the ABC song to Zoe, and I swear she started to kind of head bob/sway to it and then when I was done, she clapped :D AWWWWWW

And yesterday.... DH was holding her on his lap. She was standing and facing him. I was sitting over on the loveseat which is kind off to the side some so his head was turned as he was talking to me.
Well Zoe decided SHE wanted to be the center of his attention so she leaned over (mostly her head) to in front of his face. It was SOOOOO frickin adorable. Like she was saying " Uhm, Hullo... I'm right here, pay attention!" lol, I'll have to try to get video of it.

Can't wait to see what comes next and I can't wait to go through all of this again with another.
As tired and worn out as I am now, I know it's going to be 100x worse with another lol, but... I can't help it.
I do feel SO SO SO lucky to even have Zoe and if we only ever have her, then I'll be happy, but I'm greedy and want more! :)

I want to start saving up for a nice Disneyworld trip. I think at maybe 5-7 would be a great age to take Zoe to Disney for the first time. I know wanting more kids, we'd have another a little younger (hopefully not that much younger)... but like I said, this would be the first of hopefully a few more trips to come :)
I want a nice trip there though.... as in... EXPENSIVE lol. I want to stay in one of the hotels in one of the parks. I want fast passes... the works. We're already saving some money, just want to make sure some of that is going to go towards the trip I want.
DH just said that he doesn't think his family would be able to afford it. Uhm, HELLO.... this is potentially SEVEN years away, They could come up with something. They do struggle some, but they also waste money on things they don't need too that could go towards the trip *nodnod* And there would always be other options. THEY don't need fast passes. And there could always be shared hotel rooms with eachother which would cut the cost some.
Going to try to get DH to talk to his family tonight about it. Give them a heads up.

And I would love love love love love to eventually take a trip to Hawaii. Hell, who wouldn't right? lol
DH and I both would really love to go. Not sure when that would ever happen though. Probably not until Zoe was at least 10?? At least in realistic terms and saving up to go (and staying somewhere nice, doing fun stuff, etc). But as I pointed out in my big rant before.... DH tends to want these BIG things to happen when we don't have the money for it.

Speaking of money and spending.... We've started to buy stuff for the computer we're building.
Well actually, we bought ONE thing for it, and the rest is for DH's computer that crapped out a few days before mine.
I'm fine with that though :) The laptop is nice to have and I'm thankful that we could afford to get it, but it will be nice to have something nicer to play with :D hehe

We're building a 'gaming' pc. Not even sure what kind of games I want to play. I used to keep up with that stuff, but haven't in gosh... almost 2 years now probably.
I know I'd like to start playing World of Warcraft again, and would like to try out Guild Wars, but other than that *shrugs*
This is SO interesting.... NOT lol.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Oh no!!!

Poor Zoe. Tonight was NOT her night.
She SO wants to mess with the dogs and the cat. None of them want anything to do with her except eat whatever food she drops.
The dogs I'm not worried about... the cat though.....
Our cat is very.... independent and a bit of a dick. He'll often bite the shit out of DH or I if we pet him for what he deems as too long. I'm not talking about warning bites either... I mean actual break the skin, puncture wounds.
Welp, Zoe doesn't know this... at least... she didn't until tonight.
The cat was laying in the living room.... I managed to get him to move when I saw Zoe going for him.
The cat just moved to the other side... and there went Zoe, right on his heels.
As soon as I said, watch her.... the cat attacked. Bit Zoe on her head and clawed her as well... and yes, drew blood.
:( :( :(
My poor baby. She cried for only a minute but I still felt terrible that she got bitten and scratched.
THEN, after we got her cleaned up...
DH was sitting in his chair, and Zoe will often pull up on us while she's crawling around.
This moment was no different, but all of a sudden, she falls straight back and she cracks her head on the end of the exercise stepper. Just a loud THUD.
Thankfully the edges are rounded, and I'm sure it sounded a lot worse than it was, but still....
OMG I felt so bad for her..... bitten, scratched and then bonks her head. I wanted to cry I felt bad.

Bad thing is... this is only the beginning. As she becomes more mobile, she's going to get hurt a lot more. Have more tumbles, spills, scrapes... etc.
Gotta be strong and keep it together when it happens or I'm gonna be crying right along with her lol.

Nothin much but I'll blab anyway

So lets see, what has been going on.
Mother's day was pretty much like any other day. DH had to work unfortunately so I really didn't get any off time. It was all good though.
Went over to my mom's and had dinner there once DH got off of work and came over.
DH gave me an amazon gift card which I asked for, and he's supposed to be getting me a pear tree :D YAY :D hehe
I know that's kinda weird to get excited about, but I've been bugging him for one for about 2 years now lol.

Zoe is doing well. She's becoming SOOOOOOOO needy though. I don't mind holding her, but it would be nice if she would play with her toys a little longer lol.
I do love holding her. When she sits there and slobbers all over a toy. Not so fun when she takes an interest in my hair though. I swear, she manages to find those few hairs that HURTS LIKE HELL when pulled. rofl
She is fascinated by my hair though so her pulling on it happens often. I really need to get a haircut.

We bought her a few 12m old outfits. They're so cute, but it makes me a little sad that she's getting so big!
We also got her 2 swimsuits. SO frickin adorable!!
I can't wait to take her swimming and/or get her a kiddie pool. She loves taking a bath and I think would really enjoy a pool.

What else what else....
I think that might be it..... at least all I can remember right now.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Hi Dada!!

So, Zoe has been saying Dada every once in a while. Not in context at all and it's just part of her babbling vocabulary.
Welp, yesterday, DH came home from work, and I was holding her and waving to him and saying
"Hi daddy!" or " Hi Dada!"
Well what comes out of her mouth?
" Hi Dada!"
Cue my eyes bulging out of my head!!
She just seems to be repeating it, and she'll say it if you say Hi to her. Not quite sure if she actually realizes what she's saying but it was such a shock and delight to hear her say it! SQUEEEEE
One step closer to talking :D

She also learned a new trick that I've been trying to teach her the wrong way.
That noise that you can make by running your finger up and down your lips while making a sound... or patting the mouth while making a sound... I don't want to say it but easiest way... like stereotypical 'indian' war song kind of thing.
Anyway.... I was trying to teach her it by doing it on myself, then trying on her. She just wasn't getting it though.
I finally figured, maybe I should try it while she's making a noise, she got it instantly. :D It's SO stinkin adorable.

I'm gonna have to figure out a way to post video soon.
Just too cute not to share :)

I talked to DH a bit more about the dog and he wants to wait until Zoe is at least 3. It kinda sucks b/c I would like one NOW lol, but I know waiting would probably be for the best since she'll be a bit older and will be able to interact with a puppy a bit better.

Man, last night SUUUUUUCKED. Zoe was great again... she did wake, but went back to sleep not even 5 minutes later.
I was wide awake though. I woke up at 2:30, didn't get back to sleep until frickin 5!!! Just insomnia mixed with an upset stomach made worse by my stupidity lol.
So I was up, with an upset stomach when I realized that I hadn't taken my nighttime metformin.
Figured I should go ahead and take it..... HUGE mistake. As soon as the metformin hit my system... I was gagging trying not to puke.
I finally said screw it and had to. Thankfully it wasn't a lot, but still... BLEH.
I should've known better but nope.

Friday, May 10, 2013

GAH!! Dumbass!!

Thanks mental_floss for finally making me realize that I'm a total dumbass!!
I've totally been using the word anxious wrong. SIGH!!!
How embarrassing.

I'm up early today. Woke up at 5am, Zoe woke up a few minutes later. Decided to just go ahead and feed her. If she had woken up earlier I wouldn't have.
Went back to sleep finally at around 6 and then only got in about 30 more minutes of sleep before I woke and couldn't get back to sleep.
Oh welp....
Zoe is actually still sleeping. Any other day when I actually want more sleep in the morning she would be wide awake. Lol, always seems to work like this.

Zoe is such a silly baby though. We block her in to the living room while she's crawling around. Well in one of the spots, we have a stepper. Now the stepper alone doesn't stop her. She figured out how to slide over it pretty quick. Well if she does it, we'll go get her. She'll actually try to crawl away quicker!! It's SO funny b/c she only gets maybe a foot or 2 away before she flops.
Same with if she's going after one of the dog's toys or a piece of something. She's a clever little girl and knows now that she's not supposed to play with certain things and if she spots that we're about to stop her from getting something, she'll try to race crawl towards it before we get to her. LOL
It's so funny and so cute. But I can see this becoming a HUGE frustration when she's older if she keeps it up hehe.

I brought up getting another dog to DH yesterday.
Actually, he asked If I wanted anything for Mother's Day other than me not having to cook... and that's when I said... " A puppy" lol
He said yes, they're cute and irresistible, but he wants to wait to get another dog. Not sure how long though. I'll have to ask him.

He really didn't enjoy having 3 dogs. BUT that was mostly b/c 2 of them are large. Not super big, but around 70lbs each.
While I would actually love another big dog, I think for our next, we're going to try to get a smaller one. Nothing over 30lbs probably if we can help it.
There are lots of pure breed dogs I would like too. Such as... dachshund, Pomeranian, Pekinese, Corgi ( I think those get a little too large), or a Bull Terrier (the Target dog, not a pit bull), but after looking at the local no-kill shelter pups... I'm sure we'll be getting a shelter puppy which I'm totally fine with too.

I'll just keep an eye out for puppies. I'm sure if there's something out there that fits us perfectly, DH will have a hard time saying no.. MUAHAHAHA

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Rambling a bit

Zoe is finally down for her first nap of the day and I just want to take this opportunity to type out some thoughts.

So apparently, DH is still hell bent on visiting his friends in Europe next year. These are the same people we went on that road trip with.
Now, another European vacation would be nice, don't get me wrong, but I can not see how we would afford it! Not sure where DH thinks we're gonna be getting the money to go.
We did FINALLY open a savings account, but by the time next year rolls around, we'll probably have enough in it for one plane ticket and a little bit of spending money.
We're almost out of credit card debt and I do not want to put another HUGE purchase on it like a trip to Europe that we don't need to take.
And don't get me started on if I'm pregnant which I hope to be (more on that in a min).
I already asked him if we were going to get the next baby an expensive crib to and without missing a beat DH said "Yeah, why wouldn't we?" Nevermind that we would also have to buy another dresser too.
AND we're planning on trading in one of the cars (probably my mazda) to get something larger hopefully before a 2nd child arrives.
Sooooo...... where exactly is the money for a HUGE trip like that supposed to come from again??
Oh and I forgot, we need to refinance our house which takes money........
DH is usually really great with our money, but not in this case. He just sees his friend's FB posts on all of the different places in Europe they've gone while living there and he gets that look in his eyes.
I just want to shake him out of it.
Of course they can travel like they do.
First... They live over there!!!
2nd... His friend's military job pays for almost every large expense they have. Pays for their kids to go to a nice private school. Pays their rent etc... so almost all of his paycheck is free to do with whatever they want. This is why they have super nice things and can vacation to wherever the hell they want.
THEY have the money..... WE don't.

And me getting pregnant.... sigh... not any time soon. Probably not until next year if I don't frickin do something already.
I hate sounding like a broken record. I hate that I allow myself to go back to old ways or to continue being lazy, but I still do it.
What the hell is it going to take for me to finally stick to something??

Enough self pity....

Anyone follow celeb news and see that the choreographer Wade Robson is now saying that Michael Jackson molested him as a child.

It seriously disgusts me that people actually think that MJ WASN'T a child molester and is calling Wade a liar.

MJ exhibited classic pedophile behavior and even admitted to it. Like having sleep overs with kids...
showers, and lord knows what else.
It's like MJ's problems, money and fame have blinded people in to believing or even excusing his behavior.
Yes he made some great music, but that does not mean that somehow makes him incapable of doing some pretty heinous things to children.

I'm not saying Wade is telling the truth or lying or whatever, but it is SO clear that MJ was a child molester and it just makes me so sick when people defend him.

I guess that shouldn't be surprising though. Just look at R Kelly. Actual fucking video proof that he screwed underage girls, but there he is.... still popular and making music.

Look at Chris Brown..... fucking proof that he beat the ever living shit out of Rihanna but he's still popular, making music, getting invited to award shows and whatnot as if nothing ever happened.

Shit like that... that these people get away with and then have IDIOTS defending them just makes you lose faith in humanity sometimes.


Zoe had her 9 month checkup yesterday.
She is 19lbs 5oz and 28.something inches long. She's jumped up in percentiles. She was close to 50%, but both of those are now 75%.
What can we say, she's a good eater :)
I'm so nervous about giving her non-pureed foods though. Not including puffs. I'm sure I won't be once she starts getting teeth. Her doc checked and said that she should be getting some in the next couple of weeks. Felt like an area of her bottom gums are a bit swollen.
She only had one shot yesterday and only cried for a second before giving the nurse a death stare lol.

And of course the doc asked how she was sleeping and we confessed to feeding her when she woke. It was suggested that we just let her cry it out...again.
We did that last night and Zoe actually did really well. She only did her minor half asleep fussing and not for long. Hopoefully if we actually stick to this, she'll learn to settle herself better.

I want to get another puppy. There's just that hole that needs to be filled by a furbuddy. I've been looking at shelters and there's a good one that I would like to adopt a puppy from.
It would be nice for Zoe to grow up with a puppy by her side.
It would have to be a small dog though. While I like big dogs, something smaller would be better for us right now.
We'll see what happens. I know DH wants to wait before we get another dog though.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013


DH found our oldest dog dead this morning.
Had a feeling she wasnt going to pull through this, but didnt expect it to happen this quickly.
Just thankful that it didnt seem as though she was suffering and hopefully went peacefully while she slept.
We just got back from burying her at inlaw's land.
The 2nd oldest dog keeps running outside looking for her in her usual spots. She is a sweet dog and loved her buddy. It is going to take her a while to realize that she isnt coming back.

We're ok though. I think bc she  was old and we suspected this was going to happen, it's not as devastating. Still sucks though and we're both pretty heartbroken.
We're gonna miss that old mutt.

Good girl Bing. Good girl.....

Monday, May 6, 2013


That is what our days are filled with right now lol.
She is one talkative little girl. She doesn't actually say words, but it's still adorable to listen to her go on and on.
She is saying Dadadadada, but not saying it in context yet. Whenever we say it to her, she just gives us this look and then continues on with what she was doing lol.

She has her 9m appointment well, on the day she turns 9m. Excited to see how much she weighs now. We try weighing her at home but our scale isn't as accurate I guess.
If it is though, then she's almost 20lbs.
I have not built up the momma muscles that I should have. I can barely hold her for a few minutes without getting fatigued lol. I'm such a weakling.

Our poor dog isn't doing well. She's our oldest and I think she probably doesn't have much longer with us.
She is about... hmm... 14 or 15 years old. Just a mutt. She's been pretty healthy and active her entire life, but she has slowed WAY down this last year and she's been puking and not eating or drinking for the last couple of days.
Hoping she's just come down with something and it will pass soon, but I can't remember a time when she hasn't eaten anything.
Poor pup. Our 2nd oldest dog is going to be devastated whenever it does happen. That is her best buddy and I really don't know what she is going to do with herself. :(
Sigh we'll see what happens I guess, but we're prepared for the worst.

Friday, May 3, 2013

BLAAAARGH! Stop licking me!!!

I sit with my legs up on the couch/chair. Rarely do I sit with my legs hanging down and feet touching the ground.
Anyway, Zoe is still mastering pulling herself up to her feet, she did this while I was sitting on the recliner and suddenly, I feel this tickle weirdness on my leg. I look down and the girl is lizard tonguing my leg!! ROFL
It tickled so much but felt SO weird b/c she also was trying to suck too. I swear... weird baby!
I can't believe she's only a few days away from 9 months old!! Insane how quickly this first year goes by. Pregnancy was a snail's pace compared to this.

Speaking of pregnancy.... I can't wait to have another baby!!! I still have baby fever something fierce!!
While I do feel rushed, I think if it takes a little longer than we hope, like say, getting pregnant next year, then we'll be ok with that, but I would very much like for it to happen this year.
Just gotta get my lazy ass up which is what I'm struggling with... what I always struggle with.
If losing weight was easy though, hell, there wouldn't be so many overweight miserable people walking around.

We don't have nearly enough 9m old clothes for Zoe. I know, I was shocked too when I realized that! lol
We had a TON of 3-6 and 6m old stuff, but 9m, nope. Hesitate to buy her much more than what she has though. But hey, I actually enjoy baby clothes shopping :D Think I'll try to convince DH to go to Once Upon a Child this weekend. Get some cute stuff for her :)
Her 2nd storage bin of clothes is already packed to the max. And I bet that about 30% of the stuff she never wore and 90% she only wore once.
Baby clothes are SO F-ing cute, but SO not worth paying full price for :P lol Well, for most of it. For a special outfit, I can make an exception, but every day clothes.... 2nd hand *nodnod*

Can't wait for Zoe to start talking. She still baby babbles, which is adorable, but to hear her say an actual word would be SO frickin adorable!
I really want her to start saying Dada/Daddy. I can't wait for her to say Mama, but I'd rather her say Dada or Daddy first :)

Uhm, what else has been going on..... pretty much nothing.
Uuuuuuuuhm...... oh rant and bitchfest opportunity...

MiL and SiL (DH's youngest sister).... UUUUUUUUUUGH I want to smack the crap out of them both.

First... MiL took my 2 nieces to a small fair that was down the road. Sweet right? Well, she also let them both play whatever fair game that won them both a goldfish a piece. That's the first UGH!!! The thing is, the fish died pretty quick. It should've been left at that, but oh no.... MiL is the queen of impulse buying.
She took them to Petsmart and bought them both a betta (Siamese fighting fish) without even consulting with the parents and asking if it was ok. What, The, FUCK.
THEN she has the nerve to call up their mom and tell them that they have pets now. And that's it. Leaves it up to my brother and his wife to buy EVERYTHING for these 2 new pet fish.
I'm sure most people would just stick these poor fish in to a bowl and let them die there, but thankfully my brother and his wife know better (b/c of me). So they went out and ended up spending over $100 on fish supplies b/c MiL is an inconsiderate IDIOT. Ok that's harsh... I do love my MiL, but this really pissed me off if you couldn't tell.
I'm sorry but you just don't do shit like that. OMG she better never NEVER do that with Zoe.

Now the 2nd thing.
My brother and his wife want to move in to MiL's old house. SiL (DH's youngest sister), was living there not too long ago, but she and her family moved in to their own home.
MiL NEEDS the money that she would be getting from renting her home to my brother.
Well, the thing is... as I've mentioned before... MiL is a hoarder and still has shit in that house. Yeah, shit that was left there even when her daughter lived there. Shit that probably hasn't seen the light of day in more than 20+ years.
And now... SiL has left a lot of her crap there as well. What, the FUCK??? So you move in to your own home, but don't bother taking all of your shit with you??

And my brother and his wife have been asking her to move in for gosh... at least 2 months now and they (Mil and SiL) haven't even pretended that they're trying to clear out their shit!!!
MiL does nothing all day (unless she's looking after SiL's girl), she could easily take her ass to that house and clean up some every day.
And the worst part... I just know that DH is going to be guilt tripped in to helping them (aka doing ALL of the work) to clean it all out.
Just clean the shit out already, my brother and his family move in and start paying rent.. and now MiL could have some money to spend on more useless shit. It would be a winwin for everyone.
I just can't convey how annoyed and angry I am about that.

I think there might've been something else I wanted to mention but I can't remember.