Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Sick kids

Uuuuuuuugh. Could my kids stop catching colds and stomach bugs? A house that's not covered in puke would be great!
Thankfully they're better now, but last week was gross.
Zoe's school called to say she was in the nurse's office. I went and picked her up and glad I did. She slept for the rest of the day and woke up the next day with an ear infection.
She's ok now and back in school AND... I forgot to send her with her backpack and doctor's excuse. Sigh. Mom fail right there.
Oh well.. she's in kindergarten and doesn't have homework anymore so pfft.. I don't care.... but I do :P
I'm sure I'm not the first mom to forget.

Also..our not even 2yo fridge decided to crap out on us.
The freezer started to make a noise and warming up. I think the fridge part too was warming up. Noise stopped after I unplugged it, but it's not cooling like it should. Awesome.
Have someone coming in on Thursday to hopefully get it fixed. Having 2 fridges and all that space spoiled me! I need it back! lol

Back to Zoe.
She only has 2 more weeks of school left.
I can't believe it's already over with. Seems like it just started.
I can't wait though. I know they're going to drive me flippin crazy, but I can't wait to sleep in! Even if it's just another 30min... I want to sleep in!!! I know the kids will love it too. Especially Oren and Zoe.
I plan on actually exercising then too and starting Oren's potty training. Won't have any excuses not to do it and I think he's ready for it. He's just being stubborn.

What else...
DH wants to go on vacation this summer. Talked about going up north to a beach in Virginia so we could vacation with his friend.
Dude.. we spent a TON of money going to Disney. No. We don't need to be spending even more going to the beach up north.
I understand that he wants a week off to go wherever. I would love to go to the beach too, but we need to save up for the back porch that has been put off for years.
Plus his car needs to be fixed and who knows if our fridge can be fixed and how much that will cost.
NM anything else that might come up.
Vacations are important... but we don't need to be spending more than we should going somewhere we don't need to go.
Just b/c his friend moved closer doesn't mean we MUST see them every summer or some shit. They'll understand if we can't go.
I'm tempted to just tell DH to go alone and I'll stay home with the kids. I'll be driven crazy, which isn't anything different, but at least he'll have some time away to unwind and relax.

Sorry my thoughts are a bit everywhere right now...
So dieting. I think I'm going to try cutting calories. I know low carb works, which I'm still doing, but I do think I need to cut calories too. Downloaded an app to help me keep track. Just need to remember that I'm doing this. I hate doing it though b/c just knowing I can't eat as much makes me want to go eat. I know I'm not hungry, but it's like a survival instinct..... like my body and mind feels panicked b/c it thinks it's going to go hungry.
I just gotta muster up as much willpower as I can and stick to it though.
I NEED to lose weight. I have the body of a very unhealthy 80yo woman and I plan on sticking around to get some grandbabies! lol

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Ranting about my brother part 2

I couldn't hold back anymore. So I let him have it through messenger. Not all of it, but some. And of course he had to come back with "Waaaah, poor me. You just don't understand! It was everyone else!" HORSESHIT.
I told him off again and blocked him. There were a lot of fucks I used and I just don't have anymore to spend on him.
He can try to bullshit people that don't know him, but not me. I blocked him on facebook. I just don't want a back and forth with him anymore b/c it's just pissing me off and he's toxic. I am tired of it.
Just...... Ugh No more.
They wanted to break contact with everyone..... then wish granted. Block you and you and you. Go live your selfish fucking lives and pretend the rest of us don't exist anymore b/c you got your wittle ego and feewings hurt.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Ranting about my brother

I frickin swear. I don't know why my brother is the way he is, but I really hope his kids are ok.
I only get info about him from my mom. Not my choice, but she needs someone to rant to about him so I listen.
I called her for mother's day and she of course had to start talking about him and how he's been calling her husband for money. He doesn't even call our mom anymore b/c he knows he'll get an ear full from her. Nope.. he calls someone he thinks he can take advantage of.
His car got taken away b/c they weren't paying on it and this fucker has the nerve to message me on FB to ask if I would take him to work.
Dude... FUCK OFF.
Maybe (and that's a big fucking maybe), I would do it if they lived close and his job wasn't far, but no... I only know the general area of where he lives and it's a good 30min drive in a really awful traffic area. And where does he work? Beats me.
I didn't even bother to answer him.
I am beyond tired of his trifling mooching leech ass and so is everyone else.
Stop being a GD loser. Stop quitting or getting fired from these great jobs you've gotten. Stop being a giant fucking piece of shit and take care of your family your own GD self.

Younger me totally idolized him. He had all the friends, he could skateboard and he got to move out on his own etc etc. He has such a goofy personality... or I should say HAD b/c over the years he's become this bitter, negative, racist piece of shit.

The only reason I don't tell him to fuck off is b/c even though he's basically done it, I don't want to lose contact b/c of his kids. I'm so GD worried about my nieces and nephew. They deserve better.

This is going to sound awful, but I hope his wife leaves him and takes the kids. I think DH's family would help if she asked them for it if she did leave. She WAS a good person too, but I dunno if she's just had her mind poisoned by my brother's lies.
Just lies upon lies upon lies. And maybe she feels trapped b/c of the kids and b/c of her appearance. I'M not ragging on her appearance. I think she looks fine, but I know she was really self conscious about her teeth b/c they were literally rotting out of her head. No idea why. He HAD a job that gave them great dental care, but of course he lost that job and I dunno.. like the next time I saw them a few months later, her teeth were really messed up.

Anyway.... I guess I do still have some hope for her... but my brother is just a total lost cause. I don't know where his mind just got so fucked up to become the way he is.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Passively aggressive

You know the type. Everyone knows someone like that.
They'll say a comment. Not even in a condescending/angry or anything tone, but it's what they say. And they don't even realize they're doing it.
DH and I went to pick up the kids from the inlaws at the grocery store and some family friends of theirs were outside doing a little fundraiser.
DH stopped to chitchat b/c his grandfather was out there with them too and the woman friend that was out there just kept going on and on about how short Oren is and how her grandson (who is a couple months younger than Oren) is so much taller and blahblah. Like she would not shut up about it. And she wasn't saying it to be mean, but it was still something that just rubs you the wrong way too.
We just stood there and just kept going uh huh when she kept going on and on.


Anyway... we know he's short which is why we put him in gymnastics (and b/c it was the cheapest option lol). If he sticks with it, he's gonna be hella strong too and hopefully full of confidence :)
That whole family is a bit.. meh. I mean they're not bad people or anything, they just have their moments like everyone else.
____

DH took Ezra to his first gymnastics class last week. I stayed home with the kids, but I was hoping to at least see some pics or something, but nope! Well DH did take a short video, but that was it. Sounded like Ezra really enjoyed it though :)

Speaking of Ezra. That boy tests my patience. Well.. they all do, but with his little hissy fits and throwing and hitting. UGH. He also bit Oren yesterday. It wasn't done out of anger. Looked like curiosity to see what would happen. Oren freaked out which made Ezra freak out. He also got 2 pops on his butt for it too.

And Zoe this week. I dunno what has gotten in to her but she has been little miss disrespectful all week long. She better not be bad in school again today. Again, she never gets in to trouble for something terrible. It's mostly just not listening when she should, but still... she's gotta be disciplined for it. Just sick of her little 5yo 'tude too. Can't even imagine what she's gonna be like when she's a teen. Lord help me!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Peace and quiet... for 30 seconds...

Ezra is napping and Oren has locked himself in his room which is fine with me.
Have a few moments of peace so decided to post.

Lets see... what has been going on.

Zoe keeps getting in trouble at school. Nothing major thankfully. Just little moments of not listening to her teachers or doing what she should be. Again... it's nothing major, but she still has to learn that there are consequences.
I really hate being mean to my kids. Mean isn't the right word to use, but it sure feels that way when I have to discipline.
I wish I could be a fun happy go lucky parent that never tells my kids no and all that shit, but nope.... just nope.

Oren is doing well. He had his 3y checkup yesterday finally and he's growing on his own curve. Still a little shorty but that's ok. It's why we signed him up for gymnastics lol.
We had to switch his and Zoe's classes from Thursday to Mondays. There weren't any 3yo classes on Thursdays and Zoe will eventually be moving to the 6yo class. We also signed up Ezra for the baby classes on Thursday. He's going to love it.
He ALWAYS wants to go in to the room whenever the other 2 go in to their classes. I'm just glad he'll get to experience it now.
No idea how he'll do though b/c he is stubborn as all shit.
Back to Oren though....
He's getting better at controlling his crying. Before he would cry and cry and cry, but now... he realizes that he doesn't have to carry on that much to get his feelings across.
Still haven't started potty training him. Just keep asking him if he wants to use the potty and it's always.. No..... lol He'll get there eventually.
Oh he did love his new gymnastics class though. It's his first one where he gets to go in alone instead of with DH. Looked like there were 2 other small kids his age in the class and they were SO darn cute going in to the big gym area together with their little train and then happily jumping on the trampoline.
His instructor said that once he's older, that we could sign him up for the boy's class which is 2 days a week. I dunno if we can afford it all though. Gotta see what the kids want first, but for now, they love it.

Ezra is doing well. He's a hitter and thrower/swiper though. SO frickin annoying.
I know I didn't help the situation when it first started, but I am definitely trying my best to get him to stop doing it now. Doesn't help that the other 2 hit back when he hits them. I guess it teaches him that they're not going to take it though.
He is very independent. He like being held, but definitely not a snuggler like Oren is.
Can't believe he's going to be 2 in just a few more months. Insane how fast time flies.

DH and I are doing ok. We moved the elliptical machine in to the living room and neither of us have used it yet lol. I will.. I'm just being super lazy.
DH's grandfather isn't doing well at all. Doctors told him he only has a few months left to live.
I think everyone was expecting it and they're not really acting totally different, but they're all going to be devastated when it happens.
Honestly.... now this is going to sound terrible.....
I'm kind of relieved for MiL.
Since he had a stroke, she's been his main caregiver. 2 siblings live on the same land, yet she is the main one that has to take care of him bc well.. they live in the same house and she doesn't work.
She WAS watching Zoe's cousin too until she started school.
That doesn't sound bad, until you add in the emotional/verbal abuse. We always have to hear from her about how he just constantly belittles her and does not appreciate anything she does for him.
MiL has her flaws.. like we all do, but she has the biggest heart and does her best for him and IMO once he is gone... she's finally going to be able to relax again. Finally able to go and do what she wants instead of being stuck home b/c she has to look after him all the time or afraid to leave the house for too long b/c he might fall or something. And the asshole abusive comments will be gone forever.

I get that DH's grandfather is depressed. He has been ever since he had his stroke, but him taking it out on her is really messed up and not fair to her.

Anyway... need to go check on Oren and I'm sure Ezra will be waking up soon.