Monday, August 31, 2015

Lol, oops

So, I dunno what my brain did, but I'm pretty darn sure I tested WAY too early. I couldn't resist and tested this morning.
It was BFN... although there was a shadow line, I'm positive it was just a very very faintly visible antibody strip.
After the BFN, I checked my chart again and... even if I ovulated after those 2 days of copious amounts of EWCM, I'd still only be 7dpo today.
I swear I thought I was 8 yesterday. My brain added on a couple of days there b/c it wanted to test so bad I guess rofl.
So yeah... I wasted those 2 tests by testing too early. SIGH lol

Exercise was going well, but I think I may take this week off. P90 is a good workout, but we haven't been enjoying the B circuit at all for some reason and I think I've burned out on it. Just the thought of doing it again is making me dread it. SO think I'm going to just take this week off, then finish the B circuit next week. Only have one more week of B to go before C starts.
Will still continue eating right of course...although the thought of stuffing my face full of oreos and milk sounds good ;) lol

We're finally putting Oren in cloth again. Not at night though. The boy pees like crazy and leaks all over the place so I have to keep reminding myself to change him more often in the cloth diapers lol.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Little more obsessing...

Popped the test open to see if it was an indent. No indent. Doesn't mean it's positive by any means, but at least it wasn't an indent lol.

Tried getting a photo of it. The line is darker at the top... I tweaked the photos to try to make it more visible and marked the spots...
First photo is taken from shiny side... bottom one is taken from the dull backside.

Anywho... that's it for today lol. As I said... going to try my best to wait a couple of days before I test again :)

It's about that time again

.... for me to wonder if I'm pregnant or not lol.
Did buy a pack of FRER. Just a 2 pack... stupid me. I know me... I know I'll need more! lol
Anyway... they were burning a hole in my pocket so to speak so I took one today. It's still SUPER early.
I could be anywhere from 5-8dpo. I had A LOT of EWCM when we had sex... and I mean just.... a gross amount lol. Had it for 2 days, then it seemed to stop the day after, and then the day after that I saw what I thought was a teeny bit more when I used the bathroom once during that day. I think it was just a fluke or maybe leftover or something but ya never know so yeah... that's why I'm not totally sure.

Anywho.... I tested this morning b/c well... I'm me and get obsessed with this mess lol.
And.... there is a super duper light 2nd line. It showed up about 5min after taking the test. Before that it looked totally negative.
It's extremely faint though so there's no telling if there is color to it or if it's just a visible antibody strip/indent.
Oh.... and apparently FRER changed the shape of their tests. Looks like a shoehorn. Guess it's easier to pee on now. Just use a cup people.. so much easier ;) lol

Other than resizing, the photos are not tweaked. It's extremely difficult to see any 2nd line but I tried lol. Photos were taken at about the 10min mark.
I only have 1 test left. Going to try my best to wait a couple of days before using it :)

And bonus b/c I had the camera and was thinking about it...

 My little munchkins :D
Oren is trying his best to crawl... UGH.....and Zoe... yeah... totally a threenager. That term is NO JOKE. She's my sweet little girl one minute, and a total drama queen the next.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Family ranting

Man, after praising how well Zoe has been with using the potty...
yesterday she had 2 pee accidents and our first poop on the floor accident.
Didn't even know she had pooped until I went in to her room to tell her to pick up her toys, looks a bit closer at the clutter on the floor and saw the huge turd staring back at me LOL.
At least it was just a turd though and not diarrhea... bleh.

Ok so on to the ranting...

This passive aggressive bullshit on facebook really needs to stop.
I sent DH's aunt and uncle a really damn good apology that I meant every word of. Sure it was on FB, but they both know how we are and they don't answer their phones anyway even if we did call them.
No reply back and I know at least she has seen it.
Whatever though... it's out there and it's up to them if they want to still be all butthurt over it.
And it seems like they still are.
I can just picture them stewing over it, creating their own drama with snide comments about how they don't accept the apology and how they won't until we say it to their face or some shit.
Whatever, like I said, if they want to still be all offended.. they can waste their own time doing that shit b/c I'm done with it.
Well that aunt keeps posting these BS photos on FB about people treating you right, and this one just made me laugh...
It said something like... if the words you said were on your skin, would you still be beautiful. AHAHAHAHA

Girlfriend needs to reread that shit and really think about the crap that comes out of her mouth. She is one of the most racist people I've ever met and that is saying something since I live in the south. She's what I call... behind closed doors racist. Out and about, she's nice to everyone... behind closed doors..... she might as well be sporting a white pointed sheet with the crap that comes out of her mouth.

Anyway... I'm done with it now. I just had to rant a little more about it, but meh, whatever. I'm not going to waste anymore time with it. We were the adults and apologized for our mistake that upset them. If they want to continue acting like emo teens about it... whatever. That's on them.

Monday, August 24, 2015

This and that

Did I mention before that I bleached and dyed my hair? I can't remember when I posted last.
But yeah... I bleached and dyed my hair.
I think I did mention it, but was waiting for the purple color to come in?
Anywho... I dyed it purple using Special Effects Deep Purple.
Diluted it with some conditioner and it still came out pretty dark. It's really pretty though.
Here are some photos the day after I did it.

It's actually not supposed to have that pinkish sheen to it. That's what it looks like when it is faded some. Don't think I saturated the area enough, but oh well. I think it looked pretty :)
It has faded a little more, but it's still pretty dark. I've been using sulfate free shampoo and conditioner but other than that haven't been trying to keep the color for as long as possible since I'll be bleaching again.
That dye though... MAN. I read reviews on it about it staining everything and that is NO JOKE. It stains flippin everything!!! As soon as it touches any surface, it stains it. Luckily with some bleach or alcohol it comes up... mostly.
I have to sleep with a towel on my pillow right now since a lot of dye keeps rubbing off in the middle of the night lol. Oh well.

I already know what colors I want to do next. Just hope my hair lightens enough to do it. We'll see what happens.

Zoe and Oren are doing well. Zoe's potty training has gone great. She rarely has an accident now. We have her in just panties.. even at night. She's had maybe a handful of accidents and that's been it. SO proud of my munchkin. Now to find her a martial arts class to sign her up for :D

Oren is getting his first tooth. It's one of the bottom front ones and is already cut through the gums. Noticed it last week. He seems to be pretty good with it so far. He may have cried b/c of it but hard to tell when he's crying about other things too lol.
He's good though.... he's going to be crawling soon. He almost has it figured out. He can push himself backwards :P
He's figured out he has to get his legs under him but hasn't figured out he needs to do the same for his arms too. I'm fine with that. While I'm proud of him... I can also wait for him to be mobile lol.

I should just say we're officially NTNP b/c that sure feels like what we're doing b/c we are definitely NOT being safe. I'm pretty positive that I ovulated last night (earlier than last month, woo!) based on the CM I had the 2 days before it and the slight O pain I had. I had A LOT of EWCM most of the time after using the bathroom those 2 days. Neither of us cared though and both days had sex. We didn't do anything special to try to conceive or anything but we also took no precautions.
Now that we've gotten more in to a routine with Oren, it doesn't freak me out AS much to possibly have another so soon after lol.
But yeah, we'll see what happens :)
If it happens, it happens and we'll be very happy if somewhat freaked out about it lol.

UGH family drama.
So DH and I forgot to invite his uncle and his wife to Zoe's birthday. Honestly, we put it all together last minute and we're not used to throwing get togethers so didn't think about it.
We had discussed them coming before weeks before her birthday when we were still deciding what to do, but it was mostly us just kind of dreading them coming. Ever since they got in to it with DH's mom and aunt... it always feels like you have to walk on eggshells around them b/c they take EVERYTHING to heart. They're the real life version of internet commenters that get offended by every little thing and thrive off of drama.
Anyway... we did just end up forgetting to invite them, and now they're being all passive aggressive on FB about it.
Yes, it was our fault and I do feel guilty about it, but damn... they've thrown PLENTY of shit and not invited us or anyone else on DH's side. But all of a sudden when one of us doesn't invite them, then we're just all a bunch of backstabbers with karma beating down our doors and we don't love them and blahblah poor them.
Still though.... I'm about to text DH to see if he wants me to message them and apologize. I know they're going to hold a grudge b/c that's just who they are, but at least I can try to extend that olive branch their way.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

I am slacking

I really meant to post sooner than this but I just completely forgot and kept getting distracted.

Zoe's birthday went well. She had her cousins here and good googly moogly... you would've thought we had a house full of them with how loud they got. 4 toddlers make A LOT of mess and even more noise!
Zoe loved it though.
She really didn't get many presents which is totally fine... but it annoys me that no one other than MiL even bothered to wrap or put the presents they gave in to a bag for her. AND they didn't even bother asking us (other than MiL) what to get her.
DH and I always ask people what they want us to buy their kids and we always wrap or put the present in to a gift bag. I mean damn... they sell $1 gift bags... it doesn't have to be anything expensive.
Damn, is that too much to ask nowadays?
Zoe didn't have a problem with it... it just really irked the crap out of DH and I.

Anyway here are a few photos....

Here she is FINALLY arriving almost 40minutes late....

Bought her an Elsa and Anna dress she could wear to her Princess party... she picked Elsa :)

And she was SO excited for her gifts lol. As you can see... DH and I wrapped up her stuff... everyone else figured Walmart bags were good enough :\

There are a lot more photos, but don't want to post any b/c they have other people in them and don't want to post without permission.
Anyway, even though DH and I had some issues... Zoe still had a blast and that's what matters in the end :)

On Monday she had her 3y wellness checkup and she's doing well. She had 1 shot which she hated obviously and we asked her doctor why she was grabbing herself a lot. Whether if it was normal or something was wrong. Apparently Zoe has some kind of labia ablasion(sp?) or something going on down there. It's where the skin somewhere down there tries to heal together so it catches urine and irritates the skin. So yeah... she was prescribed some $70 estrogen cream that we have to use on her for at least 8 weeks... or long enough for the skin to thin out and come apart on it's own... Fun :\

But yeah... other than that.. she's doing great :)

Her potty training is going really well. She hasn't had a pee accident for a while and had a poop one on the day of her appointment lol.
We have her in panties at night now and haven't had any accidents yet. *knock on wood*
She's just been doing really well with it. I have to remind her to go pee, but that's fine lol.

Oren is doing well, but still waking up a couple times at night. Just wish he would sleep through already! He is definitely a lot needier than Zoe was.
He's growing well though and as cute as can be lol. I'll have to post some updated photos of him soon :)

And finally... I'm getting DH to bleach my hair on Saturday! MUAHAHAHA
Yeah... hopefully it doesn't come out a splotchy mess. It's probably going to need to be bleached twice before it's as light as I want it, then.. it's time for the FUN colors! WOO! Will take and post photos :D

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Yep it's AF

I thought I'd be spotting for a few days but NOPE... it's AF. WOO! No prolonged spotting before is great! Hopefully it won't be some long spotting after.
You know what makes this even more awesome?? I just had a 29 day cycle!!!
Looks like if I do still have a 10 day luteal phase, then I did in fact ovulate the day after I first saw that CM that I had warned DH about the very first time.
But still.. 29 day cycle! YAY!

But, this period is weird like that first one was. No actual flow, most of it seems to come out when I use the bathroom. I'm not complaining though. I would much rather that than feel gross gushes all the time and wondering if I'm leaking or not.

Only bad thing about this... I am super MEGA bitch sometimes. Holy crap. Before I started spotting, I was snapping at the drop of a hat and didn't know why. Well.. now I do apparently. I never had this type of mood swings before. Really hoping this part at least isn't going to be a common occurrence.

Oren threw up ALL over my lap today. Bleh. I was feeding him a mum mum. Just a tiny bit. But when he tried to swallow just a tiny little piece, he started gagging. I knew it was coming, but just not in the amount it happened lol.
He's been wanting to catnap today and then cry about. If he would just nap a decent length of time he wouldn't wake up grumpy! :\

Zoe has been driving me up the wall. Girl is throwing some toddler 'tude around and this momma is not going to put up with it. It's either attitude, ignoring, or whining... SO much damn whining holy crap.
How do you get them to stop??
She's not bad all the time by any means, but today... today has been rough lol.

We still have to buy a few things for her party. I think we're getting the balloons Saturday morning. DH is stopping off today to put in the order for the cake... and I want to make some cupcakes or something else sweet for it. We'll see.
Will definitely post photos of her party :) It's gonna be cramped in here, but meh...

Wednesday, August 5, 2015


Wiped away some blood this morning. Should be getting AF then in a few days. Really wish I didn't spot so dang soon, but yeah... that answers that question lol.
I'm relieved but also sad too.
Relieved b/c I'm SO tired right now and having another at this time would put a lot of things on hold.
But sad b/c well... that was possibly another baby we were gonna have and all of those ideas and fantasies I was having aren't going to happen... at least not yet.

At least I can stop focusing on that and get back to losing more weight :)
And hey.... my body worked too! That's awesome news right there :D It means those days when I saw the CM were actually for fertile days and not random. That's pretty cool in my book.

I would really like to lose a lot more weight before we have another. Just feeling so determined right now to get this weight off and well.. pregnancy and another baby would've hindered those just a tiny bit :P lol
I think if I stay focused and keep eating right and exercising... MAYBE by next summer we could start trying. Would still mean we'd have the baby before DH turns 40 and children would be spaced a little further apart.
I dunno... we'll see what happens. It's still up in the air IF we're even going to have another.
It's like some parts of me definitely wants another... but then other parts of me are happy with the 2 we have. Conflicting emotions. I'm sure things will be a bit more clear down the road. Funny how your wants change like that... especially when you're faced with something that you weren't planning for.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Just waiting

Woke up feeling really off today. My neck is stiff and aching and just overall I feel really off. Just lack of energy and weak.

IF I did ovulate.. I could be anywhere from 5-7dpo today. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little convinced that I was pregnant. lol
But that CM I saw could've just been weird PP random cm too. Who knows. I'll definitely be grabbing some pregnancy tests on Friday unless I start spotting before then. Pfft, who am I kidding... I'll buy some anyway. Even if nada this time, I'm sure there will be another time when I'll need them.

Trying to get the house a little more organized before Saturday. It's not that the house is super messy.. just really disorganized right now. Need to just straighten up, put things away.. things like that. Like Zoe's bookcase out in the living room. Books ALL over the place and on the floor around it. Or her room... toys she doesn't play with need to be put up.
Etc etc.
Did I ever post photos of the thing DH built for Zoe? Good lord.. I don't think I have posted photos yet have I. It actually still isn't done though LOL. It just needs something. It's a play kitchen... and i dunno.. just lacking details. Something needs to be added to finish it and I can't figure out what.
I promise.. soon soon I'll post photos.

Speaking of photos... here are some finally :D

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Not so bad

Oren had his 4m checkup on Thursday... more like 5m but whatever.
He weighed in at 16.5lbs and I can't remember height off top of my head. Weight was 60th percentile and height was 40th... so he's a little butterball. Well.. his legs are :P heh
He took his shots pretty well. Only cried for maybe 30sec if that.

His sleep has been pretty consistent these last few days. Wakes up about 2-3 times at night. Not ideal by any means, but it's better than him waking every hour.
He's rolling over like crazy. He can roll from stomach to back, but I think he gets frustrated that he can't move yet.. or he forgets that he can roll lol.
DH and I both think he's going to be crawling/walking way before Zoe did.

Zoe is doing well. We just got her back. She spent the night with her granny and aunt. She loves it over there. Probably b/c they spoil her rotten.... ROTTEN and let her stay up until the buttcrack of dawn.
Her potty skills are still about what they were before. Few accidents and sometimes have to remind her to go sit on the potty before an accident happens.

DH and I decided we're doing the Disney Princess theme for her birthday. Nothing huge. We're not getting her a costume or anything....although that would be cute. But we did get her a tiara to wear and will be getting her a princess cake, decorations etc. She's gonna love it. :)
Can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but we decided to just throw it at our house. DH procrastinated too long to reserve anything and I'm just happy we're having it indoors in AC lol. I'll have a lot of cleaning to do, but meh...that's ok :)

I'm ok. I got nauseous and threw up yesterday. Thought it was from metformin reacting to the bad dinner I had on Friday, but I think it was just some 24hr stomach bug. I felt awful the entire day and had waves of nausea all day long.
Thankfully feeling better today though.

DH and I are on our last week of P90 A (the first 30 days). So proud of us :)

As for possibly pregnancy.... obviously don't have any news about that yet. Will have to wait and see. DH and I have been talking about it and he actually doesn't seem all that against having another baby. Surprise the heck out of me. I guess I shouldn't be shocked with how willing he was to DTD without protection lol.
We've just been talking about how we'd have to trade in the car for probably a minivan. Sad but the thought of getting a minivan actually excites me ROFL.
And how if I do end up pregnant, I'd pretty much be his mom. Meaning... his mom has 3 kids and we'd have 3 kids spaced out almost exactly like she did. And If we had another girl? Yeah... same.

He asked me if I wanted another one. I do and mentioned how I wanted them spaced a little more, but he told me that if we were to have another, now would be the time to do it while we're still... youngish lol. He just doesn't want to be 40 having a baby. I reminded him a lot of people are having kids later in life, but he just doesn't want that. I understand.
Honestly though... it could go either way for me at this point. I'd be thrilled to have another, but if it never happened... I'd be ok with that too. Of course I would always wonder about another.
Anywho... we'll see what happens :)