Tuesday, January 31, 2012

12w Appointment

BLEH! I had to get a pap today. Thankfully they don't take very long, but still not fun.
Plus before the doc came in, I was sat under a frackin hot ass light for 30mins waiting for her, so I'm sure I was nice and sweaty down there. Awesome... :\

Anyway, it was still a nice appointment. The OB was really nice and helpful even though I could only think of one thing to ask. SIGH.

She did an abdominal u/s first to check the heartbeat. She didn't know that I had just gotten one on Thursday.... I eventually told her lol. I wanted to see the LO some more :D Thankfully she did the u/s a little longer so I could see the LO wiggling all around. Man, that's just so cool to see... I can't wait until I can actually feel it.
Also learned from the u/s..... the LO is WAY over on the left side. With my hsg I had done, it looked like my uterus was to the left some, but this seemed like the LO was right on top of my left ovary or something. Just surprised that he/she was so far over there. At least now I know where to put my own doppler to check for the hb :)
It was embarassing though. Like I've said, I have A LOT of belly fat down there AND I'm hairy, so it's not fun having to expose my belly to anyone.

Erm what else...
I asked about my blood pressure and if it increased my chances of getting pre-e. She explained that there might be some increased chance, but they don't really know why some women get it. That actually made me feel a lot better since it seems to occur randomly.
She did say that my PCOS does increase my chances of getting GD which sucks. I'm going to have to start eating better. I've been slacking off and eating WAY too much sugar recently.
She also said that I can go ahead and stop the metformin and that taking it isn't going to prevent GD from occuring so no point in continuing it. I think I'm going to at least finish the bottle. Maybe get the refill.. not sure.

And finally... my preg stuffy nose has totally turned in to cold stuffy nose. BLEH!!!
Preg stuffy nose usually only occurs when I'm laying down trying to go to bed.... but this is continuous, plus I have that kinda puffy tired feeling around my eyes... ya know, that feeling when you have a cold.
Sucks, but I kinda expected it with DH breathing all over me lol.

And yeah.. that's about it I think. My next appointment is in a month. Sounds like it's going to be the same minus the pap.

Ouch ouch ouch!

Up a bit early b/c I can't sleep w/ this stuffy nose and DH's snoring lol.
Was laying in bed last night joking with DH while going to bed.
I laughed and HOLY CRAP sharp pulling pain!
It was right at the crease of my leg and hip on my right side and hurt like hell. Thankfully it only lasted maybe a second or 2.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Gaining weight

Oh the dilemmas of an average weight person.
LOL I'm sorry but I always have to roll my eyes at tiny little women that get SO upset b/c they're gaining weight during pregnancy and freak the F out over it.

I know none of us want to get fat.. or fatter in my case lol... but really?? Freaking out and actually considering going on a diet while pregnant? You're kidding me right?

I'm not talking about just eating healthier and picking better stuff... THAT is totally different than actually going on a diet b/c you don't want to gain weight which is just ridiculous during pregnancy.

And I mean hell, most of those women are going to lose the baby weight soon after giving birth anyway so they're freaking out over nothing.

Come on... how can you not laugh at someone that weighs say.. 120lbs and OHNOES, has gained a whopping 5lbs! *gasps* Stop the press people! *EYEROLL*

I'm not saying skinny chicks don't have a right to not be worried about it... I just think maybe some skinny gals worry about it too much when it should be a non-issue in most cases during pregnancy.

Well, so much for that

Threw up earlier. It was only a little bit b/c I hadn't eaten anything yet.
It came on unexpectedly too.
I was actually getting everything ready to fix my lunch and suddenly the gagging started and I knew I was gonna harf.
Not sure if it was the orange juice that I was drinking or maybe the prenatal or metformin or something upset my stomach *shrugs*
So yeah... dunno what caused it or if anything other than hormones was the culprit :)


There's a thread that talks about having your mom in the room while you deliver.
It just makes me think about what exactly do I want?
At this point, obviously my mind could change a lot before the time comes but I dunno.. I just want it to be DH and I.
I'm really not sure if my mom would even want to be in the room. I mean I guess it all depends on if I even have a vaginal birth too.
I know I want her and the inlaws to be the first to see & hold the LO, BUT only after DH and I have spent a lot of time with her/him by ourselves.

When SiL gave birth... FiL and MiL were both in the room while she delivered. I know SiL held her baby first, but by the time everyone else was in the room... that baby was nowhere near her b/c everyone else was holding her.
Now I don't mind if they want to hold our baby, but I'll be damned if they hold him/her more than DH and I do at first, ya know?
There will be plenty of time for them to spend with the baby later on, but those first few days will be for DH and I to bond with the new LO.

I just know that MiL is NOT going to be in there when I'm delivering. I know she was just excited, but she was a mess after SiL gave birth. Her LO pooped out meconium while SiL was giving birth so LO wasn't as lively at first, which I'm sure was scary, but that is ALL MiL could talk about and how her apgar score was only this and is this normal for her to be doing etc etc. Her constant rambling and worry just stressed everyone out and honestly it was REALLY annoying.

Plus I just think it would be weird for MiL to see my hooha :P lol

Weekend news

Sorry I didn't post all weekend!
Was just relaxing with DH most of the time and enjoying being lazy heh.

So, we fixed some ribs on Saturday and invited DH's parents over.
We ate, watched some Netflix... nothing out of the ordinary.
I know DH had no idea how he wanted to reveal the news to them. I had put all of the u/s photos in to the envelope the OB's office gave me w/ the newest u/s pics in it.
Well, DH just sorta slid that over his parents shoulders (who were sitting on the loveseat).
They opened it up and were wondering what it was at first.
FiL instantly knew and said that it was u/s photos. Then MiL looked at them, then looked at me and said, something like "Whose are these? Are these yours?" I couldn't help but get emotional and teary eyed and I just nodded and had a couple tears roll down my face. This gets MiL crying and DH lol. Not sure about FiL, he may have gotten the sniffles too heh.
They hugged me and DH... even my shy little niece hugged us which was cute.

It was a really sweet reveal :) We told them later as they were leaving that they could go ahead and tell everyone. About 20min later, DH's older sister called up to congradulate and talk to him. No one else has called from his side, which is fine. Not that I expected it or anything hehe.

Telling everyone makes it a lot more real now. I still can't bring myself to say that I'm pregnant, but it's not so weird to actually realize that it's reality now heh.
BLEH, I have another appointment tomorrow. Only say bleh b/c I have to get there early to fill out or complete paperwork or something...fun. Meet one of the OBs for the first time. Think the nurse said that there are 4 of them there and they like patients to meet them all at least twice.
Def going to bring up my blood pressure concern. I'm SO worried about it b/c I know it's dangerous in pregnancy. I just hope there's something they'll be able to give me to help control it.
I've been thinking about the birth a lot... and I dunno... I'm just starting to realize that I really don't care how the baby comes out so long as the baby and myself are healthy and alive after.
I mean I really don't want a c-sec, BUT I'm not going to get upset if I have to have one, ya know?
The OB office gave me a bad full of stuff w/ a few magazines in it. One of them is actually really cool. It's a mag that talks about each month of pregnancy and has info about it. It's really cool.
Like did you know that at the beginning... babies look like worms?? Yeah, that freaked me out seeing the photo of that! lol The mag said "tube" but really.. it looked like a worm w/ a really big mouth!
So weird how that can turn in to something so cute hehe.
Symptoms have been ok. Lots of stretching and aches down below which I'm fine with. I really don't notice them during the day, it's mostly at night when trying to get to sleep.

Still not a fan of meat, but I did tear up some ribs which is kinda weird lol.

Slept like crap until last night. WOO! I still woke up a few times, but got back to sleep with little problem.

No more vomitting... yet :P heh Just some gagging here and there.

Had diarrhea yesterday for some reason. I know I didn't eat any trigger foods so it came as a surprise when I had to go.

Even though I slept well, I had a terrible miscarriage dream that was actually me this time, not someone else.
Dreamt I was in high school and yes, was pregnant. I went to the bathroom and passed a clot but no blood.
Later in the dream I passed more clots along w/ a tiny little alien clear looking baby.

UGH I hate dreams like that. I don't mind nightmares, but be about something stupid damnit... not about the dreaded M word :(

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The big reveal!

First... yesterday was pretty good.
I did have some diarrhea issues though. I was constipated... and the big stuff came out and that was I guess enough for the rest to follow as well for the rest of the day. BLEH.
My stomach has been grumbling and getting upset at everything I eat. Feels like it can't make up its mind if it wants to go back to being constipated or diarrhea.

No vomitting yesterday thankfully. Had a little bit of nausea and gagging, but that was it.

Still slept like total crap again last night though. Booo
Sucks so much when you're SO tired, but you can't get to sleep, or you get to sleep only to wake up constantly.


So we went out last night to dinner w/ inlaws like we usually do and DH's parents had my niece with them (brother's oldest daughter). They will usually pick her up to spend the night on the weekends and well.. they did this time.
I was going to wait to tell my brother and his wife the news after we told the inlaws, BUT with my niece there... I figured I'd just have to tell them a bit sooner.
So.. I wrote them an email. Yes.. and email. They know I'm SUPER awkward on the phone so they weren't upset or anything heh.
It's nice telling people but embarassing. I just don't like the attention.
I knew my brother was going to call my dad right up and tell him.. hell he did it while I was still on the phone with SiL.. I could hear him in the background talking to him lol.
SO yep... 3 people down.... a lot more to go, but I'm sure DH's parents will take care of that for us hehe.

They're coming over at about 5. I have some cleaning to do before they get here. BLEH

Friday, January 27, 2012

UGH, some people

Was looking around on some forums, and someone was ranting about a so called friend that is due about 3 weeks ahead of her that totally stole the name she was going to use.
Why on Earth would a friend or family member do that to someone??
Thank goodness I don't know anyone pregnant b/c that would royally piss me off. Well... no one in my RL.
Now if someone from one of the forums or here wanted to use a name that we have picked out, ya know what.. I really wouldn't care b/c it's not like I have to see them every day, ya know? There's that disconnect so it's not really a big deal.
But if someone in my RL did that... I would be SO upset.
One of DH's friend's wife is pregnant with a little boy. I think he said she's due in May.
I remember DH telling me about the friend telling him how hormonal his wife is and how after finding out that they're having a boy, she started freaking out about not having a name picked out.
I dunno if they have anything picked out, but if DH tells them our name and they use it.... I would be pissed. I don't know them personally myself, but still... you just don't do that to a friend.

I am so sappy. I love watching ultrasound videos where you can hear the parents' reactions in the background.
Was just watching 20w gender scans. Not many of them have that, but some have it where they find out and I just love the surprise and joy. It's so amazing and I can't wait for it!
I'm gonna have to go find some other kind of videos like that... like pregnancy announcements or something heh.

Best food ever!!!

I went to my mom's house yesterday after my appointment and her being her, she wanted to make me some food to take home.
She made homemade kimbap. YUM
SO good! It has salted cucumber, rice, heated fish cake, scrambled egg wrapped in seaweed. It usually has blanched spinach and carrots in it as well, but she forgot those heh. Still.. it was YUM! She gave me a ton of it and I just ate some for lunch.

The best stuff she gave me though is some cucumber kimchi. HOLY CRAP IT'S AWESOME!
The photo makes it look super spicy, but it's really not.. at least hers isn't. It's the perfect combo of salty and spicy. Just spicy enough to heat your mouth up a little, but not enough to keep you from eating more. And the saltiness makes it AWESOME to eat with rice! And the fresh taste makes it SO refreshing and just GAH best food ever! I've been craving some and when I saw it sitting on her table, I asked her immediatly to wrap some up for me lol.
GAH I just can't express how good it is.
If you have a Korean friend who has a mom that cooks often... ask them to get you some fresh cucumber kimchi. *nodnod*

Now... I just hope I don't puke it all up in a couple of hours.... even with it not being so spicy... still not going to feel so great coming back up. OUCH.

Oh it's gonna be rough

I slept like total shit last night :(
Don't understand how that happened considering how tired I was. I was SO drained after my appointment.
I can feel a headache coming on. Sigh....

Don't get me started on how stiff and sore I am from the dry heaving lol. I wonder if you do it enough.. if it's actually beneficial. I mean not throwing up, but the muscles it works... did that make sense? Hopefully that wasn't too weird of a thought lol.

Yeah, today is going to be miserable, but I'm so happy to be here.
Here are 2 more u/s scans from yesterday.
Don't know why I didn't post them yesterday lol.
It's just so cool and amazing how quickly they grow. I mean the baby is what... only a little over an inch long and already has little arms and legs. I can't even imagine that! lol
They look so much bigger on the u/s and then you remember just how big they actually are.. and yeah, it blows my mind. So glad for technology!

I dunno... I was leaning a bit torwards male for gender, but after seeing the scans... I'm just not sure. I mean obviously I'm still not, but if you want to go by all of the theories out there...
You have the heartbeat which was 176 yesterday which is considered fast... and girls are supposed to have the fast heartrates.
I'm really not sure where the placenta is. IF it's the big white blob at the bottom, then that means it's to the left more which also indicates girl.
Chinese gender chart says girl....
So yeah... all signs point to girl heh.

We'll be happy with whatever we get, but I dunno.. honestly, the thought of having a boy was really amazing. I know DH really wanted a boy first and I know my mom wants us to have a boy first, and inlaws will probably be hoping for a boy as well.
Like I said, we'll be happy with either gender though. And I know if this LO is a girl... DH will spoil her rotten. She's totally going to be a Daddy's girl :)
I can't wait for that 20w scan!!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

1st prenatal appointment

Went well today :)
Boy was I nervous but everyone there was really nice.
I had a transvag u/s and it was great! Their machine is a lot better than the RE's office and the baby looks so big :D
Better views were shown but guess it didn't translate to a still photo.
Still, it was nice to see that the LO was doing just fine.
Wasn't really wiggling around though so must've been asleep.
I heard the heartbeat for the first time too which was awesome and actually got a number.. 176bpm :)
If you're going by the hb theory then it's a girl. *shrugs*
Also, LO was measuring a bit ahead still too at 12w today, but the u/s tech said that since my cycle was weird that they go by the measurement of the very first u/s which was the 6w1d one so my due date is still August 14th.

They gave me a bunch of stuff, weighed me (bleh) took my blood pressure which was high as I figured it would be and took 5 vials of blood.

I also have my next 4 appointments scheduled which is exciting. My next one is actually on Tuesday. They do the 2nd at 12w and I'll be 12w then so.. yep.
March 26th will be the anatomy scan at 20w! YAY! Gonna seem like forever waiting for that day to arrive. I can't wait to hear what we're having :)

Guess it wasn't just hunger

Threw up again just a few minutes ago. I ate, wasn't hungry any longer.. took some tums b/c my stomach was grumbling... drank some ginger ale and HARF.... still threw up.
I could feel the nausea, and it was causing some gagging, but it picked up quite a bit at the end and I knew it was coming.
I can deal with the vomitting part... the dry heaving sucks though. My chest, side and back are all tight and sore from it yesterday so.. yeah, doing it again today isn't fun heh.

I wonder why it's starting now all of a sudden though?
Everything I read said that around now is when women start feeling better, not getting sicker :P

Oh well... if it continues, it continues. I'll throw up a lung so long as the LO is healthy and stays put :)

1st Prenatal

I'm SO frickin nervous for it!! I don't know why, it's not like I'm the first patient ever there to be pregnant lol.
Just this office intimidates me. They were idiots over the phone sure, but they're really nice there and it's a nice office. I'm just not used to it is all I guess.

I think DH is bummed that he can't come with me today, especially if they do another ultrasound. He made sure to tell me this morning that I better get a photo if they do one :P hehe I hope they give copies.

We still have to find a frame or photo album or something for the u/s photos that we have. They're still sitting on my desk atm.

Woke up feeling a bit sore and tight today. Figured I would from the puking yesterday. Need to go eat something b/c I'm starting to get a little nauseated again.

Alrighty, I'm back to ramble some more.

This is going to be A LOT of info here so yeah... but hopefully everyone is used to it from myself by now heh.

I have A LOT of shaving to do downstairs. I dunno if it's the PCOS or just my body, but I am SUPER hairy down there. Now I know doctors have seen almost everything and they could probably care less, but I sure as hell don't want to go in there and the doctor needs a damn weed whacker to do an exam!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


I just threw up a little.
Don't think I would have if I had eaten more for lunch. I only had a little bit of yogurt and that was it.
Got up a little bit ago to find something else to eat, the gagging/dry heaving started and wouldn't stop and I ended up throwing up a little in the sink. It wasn't much, but the dry heaving left my whole torso feeling tight and strained. OUCH.

Spilling the beans

DH wants to tell his parents on Saturday about all of this.
Totally fine with it, but I think they're going to suspect something.
He wants to invite them over here for dinner which is totally fine, BUT whenever we've invited family here, it's been EVERYONE. So only inviting his parents is going to look suspicious.
When I told him that he just grinned b/c I know he didn't think of that lol.

And I know for a fact that his mother is going to tell everyone. Hell, she told her sister about my m/c and I'm positive told SiL as well, but told them not to mention anything... even though the aunt called me the next day to ask if I was doing ok.
She can not keep a secret for anything so basically... we're telling everyone this weekend :P heh

A bit sooner than I thought DH wanted, but I think with my last u/s going well and it being so close to the 2nd tri, he figured it's ok :)

Yesterday was pretty good. Decided to go braless to see if that helped with the itchy nipple situation. Put lotion on them early in the day and that helped a little. They started to flake and itch again at night but not as bad as before. All of the scratching is really making them tender. I'm not ripping off skin or anything and I try to avoid actually scratching the actual nipple.. I go all around it :P hehe

My boobs, especially the right one had some mild burning sensations last night too. It wasn't painful or anything, but thought I'd mention it anyway.

Gagged once last night. It was after dinner and dessert. I ate WAY too much and being so full caused it.
I hate being that full, but you don't realize you are until it's too late.

I'm freaking out a bit about my appointment tomorrow. What's new right? heh
I know I sound like a broken record... I just hope everything is ok. Really hope they end up doing an u/s so I can at least see that the LO is doing well.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

GAH! Why am I so jealous?

It's not a bad jealous, like I should have that, NOT them... more of an envy thing.
Was just looking at the DD group a month ahead of myself at their baby bump photos and I just got SO extremely jealous b/c almost all of them have popped.
I just can't help but feel like that's not going to happen for me until MUCH later :(
I want a bump! I want to LOOK pregnant at least if I can't feel it w/ symptoms!



Today is going to be interesting. It started late last night when I was trying to get to sleep. Just a slight nauseated feeling and I woke up to it.
It's nothing bad and easily ignored, but I took a sip of milk and it amped up a bit and caused me to gag.
That would be pretty messed up if I started to get morning sickness now :P lol

Still nothing on the doppler. Booo :(
I mean I figured as much since skinny chicks are just now picking up their LOs.... but still.. it would be nice if I could pick up something.

I'm nervous about my appointment on Thursday. I dunno.. it feels like I'm back in school and have to go in front of the class to read something. Just totally anxious and dread lol. Not sure why. Guess it's b/c I'm really not used to this place like I am my RE's office.
It's great that I have moved on to them, but I dunno... it's intimidating too.

Monday, January 23, 2012

OK one more post

Just to get the bitchfest off the top of the page lol.

Finished watching the informative cloth diapering videos on youtube.
That's part one.
She just shows all of the different types, how to use them, pros and cons etc. REALLY helpful to get a visualization instead of just reading about how they work etc.

I really do like the prefolds. Just seems so simple to use and clean. I wouldn't mind a few of the other ones though for various reasons.

Anyway... all of the info is still pretty overwhelming but at least now it's not as bad heh.


MAN there are just some completely deluded people out there... especially about doctors in general.
Now let me first start off by saying once again, I'm not telling anyone how to give birth. That is their personal choice that I really could care less about (except for the one stupid thing that I mentioned bfore that I won't get in to again).

BUT some of the reasons why people choose the ways they want.... seriously.. it makes you want to facepalm.

On one of the forums... one woman was happy that her midwife was supportive of her having a VBA2C. If you're not familiar with the abbreviation, that means.. vaginal birth after 2 c-secs.
Now I'm not saying it's impossible. It's very possible and I'm sure plenty of women have done it safely... BUT this woman has done absolutely NO research on her own and is completely and totally trusting of a midwife that is telling her a load of bullshit.
Her idiotic midwife told her that it's TOTALLY safe and that her doctors just lied to her about the risks.... and this woman just completely believes that.. WTF??
And then this woman said in a different post that she didn't want to go to a hospital because she didn't want to be bullied in to anything (which is understandable), and that constant monitoring hasn't proven to help anything (uh... WTF)... and that they'd want to prep her for a c-sec just in case, but she feels like that's setting her up to fail. WHAT???
How is being prepared all of a sudden a BAD thing???
Wouldn't any rational person WANT to be prepared for the worst just in case??
No one wants anything bad to happen, but it'd be nice, especially when it comes to you and your baby's health, if they were prepared for the worst just in case.
THAT is not setting anyone up to fail and it really boggles my brain that anyone would even think that.

Like I said, have whatever kind of birth you want, but at least be open and informed about it.... EVERYTHING about it... not just what you want to hear/believe.


I am SO jealous of women that are further along than me. Not even the ones that are 20+... I'm talking about the ones that are 12 & 13 weeks.
I feel SO stupid for even being jealous but I can't help it! They're almost or in their 2nd tri now and I'm still not. Booooooo lol

So close... so far away

I'm sooo close to being in the 2nd tri. Just 2 more weeks to go. Seems like SO far away though! BLEH!

Yesterday was such a blah day. I eventually took some tylenol. I couldn't stand that almost headache feeling any longer. It helped so yay.

Also I had been constipated for 2 days and finally went #2 yesterday and BOY was there a lot. I was full of shit.... HA! Man I am such a child :P hehe
I feel so much lighter now after that though. Now I'm sure it will be another 2 days before I go again heh. It's all good though... haven't had any gut/stomach cramps so it's not too bad.

Oh my nipples started itching like crazy again last night. I took a look at them and they are dry as hell apparently. You know how your skin looks when it starts to peel after a tan? Yeah, that's what my nipples looked like. Flaking peeling skin. BLEH
Put lotion on them (too bad DH was out b/c he would've enjoyed watching that lol), and that seemed to help a little bit.

I feel fine today, and yes, that still freaks me out. I am still really worried about the progesterone thing. And not knowing if they're going to do an u/s this Thursday or not so I can at least calm the nerves some....it's gonna be a long week.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Feeling kinda blah

Not sure what's going on with my body right now, but overall I just feel really blah. My head feels like I'm on the verge of getting a headache and just feeling really worn down and stiff.
Need DH to give me a good massage.
And I've slept pretty well these last 2 nights, but I never feel rested.
I'm thinking maybe I'm dehydrated. I haven't been drinking nearly enough. I can't drink plain water b/c it makes me gag so I've been drinking ginger ale and milk a lot. We bought one of those flavor things...Mio? Those egg shaped water flavor things.... DH wanted to try it. He didn't like it so I'm going to use it to help w/ the water gagging problem.
It's not bad. Good flavor, but it's like any kind of flavoring that is sugar free... it leaves a dry/powdery feeling if you use too much of it.

I really can't complain about anything though. My VERY minor symptoms are nothing compared to what some women have to go through.

Oh I had a terrible heartbreaking dream last night.
I can't remember how it started, I just remember that someone handed me this tiny little fetus that someone miscarried. The baby was only about 2-3 inches long and was still barely alive when handed to me soaked in blood and mucus.
I just broke down crying in the dream and kept talking soothingly to this poor little baby, telling it to hold on and not die.
I placed it on a counter on top of a piece of cloth and just watched this poor sweet baby die while hearing the woman who miscarried it crying in the background.
I placed a hand on my stomach and with tears still running down my face pleaded with my LO to not go anywhere, to be ok and be healthy.

UGH just a terrible dream to have right now, but really speaks my fears.
SO many of the women from the August DD on a forum that I go to have lost their LOs... SO many and it has freaked everyone out.
We feel terrible for these women and their losses, but it's such a reminder that nothing is guaranteed and it's scary.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Cloth diapering

I totally want to cloth diaper.
I'm not looking forward to having to wash them, but I think overall it will be cheaper and I just can't imagine having to go out and constantly buying disposable ones.

There are just SOOOOOOO many different kinds though!!! It makes my head spin whenever I start trying to look up info on it.
It's crazy how many different kinds there are. I mean I guess that's a good thing too b/c it gives you a lot of options. It's just so overwhelming.

Lazy day

One of those overcast, raining outside days that just saps your energy.
Love it most of the time. Just one of those days you want to sit in the house and just nap all day long heh.

Having some gagging issues today. Seems to be pretty sensitive when it does happen. Just imagining a bad smell kicks it in to gear.
Thank goodness the gingerale is helping though.

Read that going off of the progesterone supps could cause symptoms to reduce even more.
My nipple def hasn't been itchy since coming off of it, BUT I seem to be a lot more tired than usual. Not sure if that's b/c of the weather we've been having though.
And my meat aversion isn't as bad. I still don't want any, but eating some doesn't make me lose my appetite now.

Feeling pretty achy down below. It's not constant, but it feels like I'm experiencing that pulling sensation a bit more frequently.
And it could just be constipation, but it's sort of a heavy feeling down there as well.

Still nothing on the doppler. Booooo fat stomach!
In case anyone is wondering how big these things are... at least the one I have... here's a photo
Not very large at all. A lot smaller than what I was expecting. Not sure WHAT I was expecting actually lol.

Friday, January 20, 2012


Holy crud that is weird to see.... 10weeks. WOW

Is it strange that I'm still not really THAT excited?
Don't get me wrong, I am more than thrilled to be pregnant, but it still feels like I just can't let myself totally believe it.
I think it's all of the horror stories/experiences I keep reading. Not that I go looking for it, they just appear on the various websites that I go to.
Like someone losing their baby at 14w or later. It scares me to death and it feels like if I allow myself to just totally be happy that something bad is going to happen and completely blindside me.
Makes me emotional that I'm even like that.
I want this more than anything and I still can't fully enjoy it.
I hope this feeling will fade away.

Ok enough feeling sorry for myself.... nothing much going on today. Had a gag-attack this morning b/c I was imagining smelling my dog's farts lol. UGH it was awful last night. I dunno how that much gas and stank can come out of a dog his size.
Be warned people wanting a smooshed face dog (like a pug).... they 100% will fart!

I'm so jealous when I read about preg women having wet dreams. LOL That's embarassing to admit, but come on.. who doesn't want a free, no work required orgasm??
I had a dream the other night where I was just starting to O. The dream woke me up, but not b/c I was actually Oing IRL. Booooooooo... could've at least let me stay asleep to finish it.... sigh. ;)

Oh yeah.. I need to start working on the mural again! I said I would after this last u/s. I need to get on that. August really isn't that far away and with my slow ass.. I need all the time I can get.
I'll start on it this weekend. DH is going to be out of the house so I'll have some time to myself... not that I don't now.. I'm just being lazy :P

Just for a reminder... here's what I have so far. It's been like this for over a year now. Just never wanted to work on it because of kinda obvious infertile/miscarriage reasons.
Going to completely cover this wall and have it bleed over a little to the adjacent walls.
I'm going to work on this one after I get done with this small area first
Going to make a little sign post mural with a big tree on the corner that wraps around. I think that will be a bit easier to do. Get me warmed up to work on the larger more complicated wall.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

One more u/s photo

From yesterday.
The nurse or RE attached a different u/s shot from yesterday on one of the forms to give to my OB.
It shows the baby turned the other way when the RE was pointing out everything.
Just wnated to post it :)

So yeah... guess the baby did just flip over and I had no idea what I was seeing on the monitor heh.


Yep... I'm freaking out about stopping the progesterone.
I only used one of them yesterday in the morning and didn't do the 2nd at night.
I kept having dreams that I was cramping, and the dreams would wake me up.
Since being awake, I haven't experienced any kind of cramping, just the usual pulling sensation if I do something to aggrivate it.
Still... me being me... I'm freaking out.
I've read a lot of women say that their doctors told them to come off at 10 weeks, and read that the placenta takes over about 9-10w, but then I read other women talking about their docs keeping them on it until 12w just to be safe.
I must say though... it is nice not having to shove anything up my vajangle and not worrying about if I'm moving too much after. Such a pain but totally worth it :)
Going to be watching my undies and tp like a hawk for a while though.


Called up my obgyn's office this morning. I swear... acted like no one EVER sees a fertility specialist.
I told them that I was about 10w along going on my u/s and they freaked out over it. Well not really freaked, but acted like they didn't know what to do.
I'm sure the actual OB will know what the hell is going on.. you would think the reciptionists would as well.. sigh.
Anyway... I have my first appointment next Thursday. They said ASAP, so I guess a week is ASAP to them.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Holy frackin crap will my nipple just needs to stop itching already!!! It is driving me crazy!! I swear, I'm going to scratch or pinch the damn thing off!!
I mean if it itched every once in a while.. ok that's NP, but it is CONSTANT and since it's the nipple, it gets all tender and sensitive b/c I'm constantly rubbing, scratching, pinching it trying to get it to stop.
I put aloe on it but that did NOTHING.

Don't get me wrong, I will gladly suffer through this and more.... it's just irritating lol :P

I slept like total shit early this morning. Everything seemed to be going fine until about 4:30. Woke up and couldn't get comfortable. My lower back started to ache and my hips were starting to really bother me if I tried to lay on either side.
Did eventually get a little bit more sleep thankfully, but I'm feeling it today.
Before my appointment, I was running on nothing but nerves and now that that's over and everything is ok.. I'm pooped.

Getting a lot of aches down below. Probably from the u/s. At least that's my guess. I usually feel a little bit of aching afterwards.

Had some bad gags today before we ate lunch. We went grocery shopping and then grabbed some Arby's on the way home. I usually eat about an hour before we did and my body was not happy with the delay and I started to gag like crazy when we got home. Thankfully it didn't start in the store.. probably b/c I was sucking on a mint.

I'm feeling kind of guilty b/c I haven't been eating well. Or well, not as well as I should. I thought that once I was pregnant, I'd be eating nothing but healthy stuff, tons of salads, etc.. and that is NOT happening.
Like I've said.. I have NO appetite for meat... well.. "normal" meat. And I just don't want veggies.
I can actually eat the veggies without losing my appetite though unlike the meat.
It's just so unappetizing even typing that out.
BUT the weird thing is... I want processed meat.. like lunchmeat, hot dogs etc. I CRAVE it. WTF? I mean I was almost drooling over a tin of vienna sausages today in the store, and then we realized that I'd have to heat them up if I wanted them so DH forbid me from getting it lol.
Why the hell does processed meat sound SO good to me right now when regular ole meat makes me lose my appetite?
At least I do have cravings for some good stuff, like salsa. Mmmm salsa.... and fruit (especially anything tart), and I am LOVING pickles.
Yes, I'm a total cliche. I don't want pickles with some weird combo of food, but I can't get enough of pickles... especially if they're spicy or "zesty". LOVE IT!


So I had my last appointment with my RE today.
And everything was still great :)
It was another transvag u/s as I figured it would be, but I dunno.. seemed to make it a bit difficult to see the entire baby.
We did still see him/her though and he/she was wiggling around. It was SO frickin cool and neat to see.
I mean here's this little bitty baby, that's probably only an inch or so big and it's already moving around.
Just so surreal and amazing to see.
2 photos. One is obviously seeing it straight on, and the other is when the LO turned so it's a profile.
I think the RE told us the wrong thing at first. He was pointing out where everything was and said the body was the head. Like I said though, it was difficult to see the whole baby.
Gah, it's still so weird to say things like that.

Back to the wiggling.... the entire little body was moving and the little arms and legs were waving around. I don't think the LO liked being prodded by the dildocam :P hehe

RE said I could go ahead and stop using the progest suppositories and yeah... I'm gonna call up the OB tomorrow. :)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Oh my hormones are RAGING right now.
I'll just say in light of my previous post.... like I said, I don't care how women birth, but after reading about the STUPID risk of going unassisted... yeah... I have a BIG fucking problem with that.
To have absolutely no one there other than your DH or family/friends is STUPID.
Just think about that for a damn second. What if your baby gets stuck?? What if there's meconium in the amniotic fluid? What about if the placenta seperates from the uterus? What if what if what if... there are SO many things that can go totally wrong in a completely normal healthy pregnancy that it's scary to even think about. Is your DH or family/friends going to know what to do besides calling 911?? Are they going to be able to see the signs that something is wrong?
At least have a mostly hands off CNM to assist and help if something goes wrong. If everything goes great... YAY, you'll still get your natural birth that you did almost all by yourself. But if something goes wrong, at least you'll have someone there that can recognize the signs and help as best they can while getting you to a hospital.

Anyway, that is all I'm saying on it. I think I told my opinion very fucking clear and if you don't like it. Tough shit... it's my blog where I can say whtever I want.. so Pfffft :P lol
That's my immature moment of the morning ;)

Calm for a moment while I get the hormones under control...
10 weeks! Holy crap!
I wish I could say it snuck up on me, but hells no it didn't! It took FOREVER to get here!
When people say the first tri drags, YES IT DOES.

I hope everything is ok tomorrow. I had some weird kind of pain when I got up this morning to fix breakfast. Not sure how to explain it b/c it wasn't really a cramp and it wasn't the pulling sensation AND it felt like it started right behind my belly button and slowly radiated towards the vag. *shrugs* I went back to sleep and I feel fine now so... yeah.

Also, things in the vag area seem to be getting a lot more wetter. I noticed it the other day but figured it was just from DTD, but it was very obvious yesterday when putting in my suppositories that it was me.

I have almost no appetite for meat except I REALLY want a lunchmeat sandwich. Now I know I could have one if I heated up the lunch meat, but I want it cold! DH said we could heat it up and then pop it back in the fridge to cool off, but meh. I'll just have to live without it.

It's just weird that I'm having an aversion to meat when that is all I wanted before.. and kind of ironic considering that I was eating Primal lol. Wonder if other pregnant Primal women have the same problem?
Last night, I barely touched my dinner. I ate about 4 bites of the porkchop, ate 1/2c of corn and that was it. Well, that was it until I had an orange and an apple.... and 2 pickle spears heh.
Meh, I can't really complain. This aversion will help to keep my weight gain under control.
Thankfully my weight hasn't moved in a while so PHEW. Don't need to be getting fatter too quickly!

If everything is ok tomorrow and remains OK throughout... I'm SO scared about my blood pressure. I just know it's going to become a problem and reading about pre-e scares the shit out of me.
I'm in the south so I'm sure docs here are well prepared to treat others such as myself, but it's still scary.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Remember when I said

I don't care how other women want to birth?
Well, that's until I read about stupid ass women having Unassisted births & pregnancies.
What... The.... Fuck.
If you don't know what it is, it means that during their pregnancy, they have had absolutely NO medical visits/checkups. And during their birth, it's the same thing. NO medical professional, not even a midwife is present during the birth.

Are you fucking kidding me??? WHAT. THE. FUCK????
Are people just that much of a control freak to risk their life and their baby's life?? I just can't even wrap my mind around what on earth would make someone do something like that unless they're mentally disturbed.

Seriously... read up on some shit.... it is NOT easy for humans to give birth b/c we walk on 2 legs. B/c of this, our pelvis is a lot more smaller and narrow.. meaning that humans need help giving birth. Some more than others, but it's NOT easy for us to do it and just everything that could be wrong and go wrong.
It just totally blows my mind that anyone would be stupid enough to even consider this in a developed industrialized nation.

If you want a natural birth.. awesome, but at least get your damn checkups to make sure YOU and your baby is ok, and make sure at the birth, there is someone there that will help and will know what to do if , God forbid, things go to shit.

Oh yeah

I've been thinking about this a lot lately...
I think I'm starting to lean more towards just being numbed up during labor. I mean I still want to see what the natural thing feels like, but I also don't want to be exhausted from the contractions and all of that stuff. I want to actually be able to rest, eat and enjoy my baby when it arrives instead of being so tired and worn out b/c I couldn't do anything b/c of the pain.
Not that I even know what it's going to feel like and how I'll respond to it.

It's still a long time to think about it though and I'm sure I'll change my mind a few more times lol.


Almost 10w. Wow...

Yesterday was meh. The headache finally went away, but tried to show back up in the early evening. Thankfully it eventually just went away again.

Also dinner was interesting. I was hungry, and then I had the food in front of me and my appetite just completely disappeared. I shouldn't have eaten, but I forced it down anyway and learned that if I eat too much or what my body/hormones thinks is too much, the gagging will start. Thankfully it wasn't that bad but now I know.

I wish I could sleep through the night. Or well, get back to sleep easily after waking up to pee.
I'm fine until around 2am.. and for some reason, I have so much trouble getting back to sleep. DH's snoring doesn't help either, plus he kept turning towards me breathing all heavy in my face b/c he has a cold (yet he's avoiding kissing me on the lips... sigh).

I had a couple of nightmares last night. Don't remember the first one, but the 2nd one was a bit freaky.

Dreamt that this woman's ex-husband or husband was totally psycho and figured out how to transfer his personality and strength in to other people by some kind of goop he injected in to others.
Well the guy ends up putting it in to their 3yo little daughter and it's like a scene out of hell. The kid's face gets all distorted, and the mother doesn't want to hurt her baby, but has no choice b/c well, it's not her baby anymore so she started to kick this toddler, and I mean REALLY kicking the shit out of the poor baby, but it's not having any effect except to make her limbs more twisted and terrifying.
The woman gets her other 2 children and runs in to a bedroom with them and tells them to hide in the closet and not make any noise while she braces herself up against the door to keep the child/psycho out.
Well the dream was a bit like a movie after this. It flashes to some women gossiping in a hair salon about what happened. They start talking about how the mother is being charged with the murder of her entire family.
 The scene goes black, and the woman wakes up to find herself laying beside her dead husband and surrounded by police and paramedics.
She asks what is going on and they tell her that she's under arrest for murdering her family, but she's injured herself so is being checked out by paramedics before they transfer her to a hospital.
The police go in to another room to talk and she's left in the room w/ a female paramedic. The lady-para starts laughing in her psycho ex-husbands voice and pulls out a syringe filled with his mind transfer stuff in it. The woman starts screaming trying to get away but she's in constraints and the lady-para injects her in the foot with the stuff.....

And that's when I woke up :P

I don't mind nightmares. Sure they're a bit freakier now b/c they're so detailed but I just wish they didn't involve kicking the shit out of some twisted posessed demonic toddler around o_O

Sunday, January 15, 2012


Snickers... mmmmmmmmm
I should've bought more than just the one... damnit.
DH was eating some kind of health bar last night and it reminded me of a snickers and that's all I've been thinking about since lol.
Well that and this awful headache I'm getting. NOt sure if it's dehydration or not.

It's a very low symptom day today. Have the headache, had that feeling like I wanted to gag earlier after drinking a lot of water, but didn't and that's about it.
I didn't have any sex dreams last night but I woke up wanting some DH. So I laid there until his alarm clock went off and nudged him :P hehe
He was more than willing so, YAY SEX!
And since it wasn't too far from when we did it last time, absolutely no spotting at all this time! WOO!

I'm still getting random aches in the ladybits area, but they're not noticeable until I do something to I guess aggrivate it. Like in the shower, I blew my nose and that caused a pulling sensation on my right side.
Or laying in bed and stretching or moving a certain way will cause the same thing to happen. It's not painful or anything so not worried about it. Hoping it's RLP meaning that my little bean in there is growing in to a big bean :D heh
And I just want to be clear in case the link I posted yesterday offended anyone.
I am SO not trying to tell anyone how they should birth their child. I just thought some of the information on the website was interesting. (Such as I didn't know that all midwives weren't RNs.. although I guess that should've been obvious if I actually thought about it lol)...
And I just think some of the drama is fun to read :P

I mean I have my own opinions, but they're only for how me, myself, and I want to birth. If people want to homebirth, water birth, birth center, hospital, drugged up, no drugs, c-sec... whatever. I really don't care how others want to do it. I'll just sit back and be happy to read all about your experience with whatever you choose though... b/c I'm a freak and love reading labor & delivery stories :D

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Hmmm... ok then

So I was looking through some threads on a website I go to and came across a link to a blog called
The Skeptical OB.
It's actually a pretty damn interesting blog with a lot of information.
If you don't want to click it, it's basically an OBGYN that speaks against natural birth and homebirth fanatics and brings her own research and facts to the table.
It's bought up a lot of issues I never knew about for sure.
I recommend reading through it with an open mind.

Even before reading that website though... thinking about where I would want to give birth... a hospital just seems right for me.
I KNOW I'm probably going to be considered higher risk than most b/c of my weight and I'm pretty sure b/c of my blood pressure... who the hell knows if I'll have issues w/ blood sugar too.
And even if I didn't, I would still want to be in a hospital so if something did go wrong, I was right where I needed to be. Ya know?
I would still like to try for a natural birth, but I am totally open to being doped up. I've never gone through labor before so I have NO idea what it's going to feel like and how well I'm going to take the pain. I'm sure I'll probably experience one bad contraction and beg for an epi :P lol
I do know that I want to avoid C-sec like the plague. Obviously I would get it done in a heartbeat if it meant life or death though.

Got the Old Navy dress yesterday and it's SO cute. I'm sure it would be a lot cuter on someone with a nice baby bump, but it will have to do heh. Hopefully by then I'll have a bump that's not just fat :P
Still mild symptoms here. I'm pretty sure I'm more weepy then usual b/c anything that even remotely touches that nerve makes me feel like I want to cry.. and if I'm alone, I do hehe
I actually like the feeling though. Is that weird? I just see so many women than complain about their mood swings and their crying fits and I dunno.. that's what I want.
I guess it's the same thing w/ the whole morning sickness thing... just another reassurance.

Speaking of morning sickness or in my case, gagging.. it hasn't been bad. Seems to only happen before and just after I eat lunch and that's it. I'll sometimes get it before dinner, but that doesn't happen often.

I THINK I may be getting more tired as well. Difficult to say b/c my sleep hasn't been the greatest. I'll sleep awesome for most of the night and then I'll wake up around 2-3am and can't get back in to a deep sleep for whatever reason. Very frustrating.

I mean really a whole lot of nothing going on and as I've been saying, I can't really complain about anything.
Did anyone just know the gender of their baby?
I'm always amazed how some women just know. It's not like there are a ton of choices or something though so I guess it's a crapshoot really and the woman just happens to be right that time *shrugs*
I have a feeling this is a boy.
At first I had NO feeling one way or the other, but now.. I'm thinking boy.
Thinking it's probably b/c of the influence of others.
I know for a fact that my mom wants us to have a boy first b/c well, she's said so lol.
And I'm pretty sure when the inlaws find out, they're going to want a boy since they already have their granddaughter.
And I have a feeling that DH wants a little boy first as well.
He was reading through 1 of the pregnancy books I have and I guess the section was on old wives tales on how to tell what gender the baby is.
One of them was something like, if the woman's right breast is larger than the left, then it's a boy.
And another was, if the husband gains weight, then it's a girl.
Well my right boob is already bigger than my left, so not sure if that would indicate a boy lol...
and he has gained about 5lbs since Thanksgiving. When he said that, he jokingly frowned about it saying it was a girl, but I dunno... even though it was just him joking, I just got the feeling that he would prefer a boy. Not that he wouldn't be happy with a little girl or anything though :)

It's still such a long time before we're gonna find out anyway so.. yeah.

Friday, January 13, 2012


Ok so maybe I won't update every day. Seems to be making this go by slower! lol I'm sure it would feel like that no matter what.. I just don't have enough material for every day posting heh.

Anyway... today was great... WAS. And then the headache hit. I thought it was because I was dehydrated, but nope, doesn't seem to be the case. Just took some tylenol so I'm hoping it will kick in soon. I really, REALLY hate headaches.

Gagging was nowhere to be seen as well, and then it kicked in. It's not too bad though. I just need to stop thinking about it so I'll stop gagging.

I'm so anxious for Wed to finally get here. The RE mentioned that if everything looks good at my next appointment then chances of anything being wrong aka miscarrying are greatly reduced. Oh gawd please let everything be ok.

I have to say, I'm a bit embarassed to start going to an OB. I mean even though it is my gyn or I'm hoping will be... I've NEVER seen a fat girl when I go in there. It just makes me feel so self conscious and NM the physical exam where it's the gyn and some assistant looking at my hairy junk :P Sure they've seen it all and lord knows I've had my ladybits looked at plenty by my RE, but the physical is SO different b/c the light is blaring, you're completely naked and just UUUUUUUGH.

And then I'm embarassed about my fat hairy stomach. Yes... HAIRY. Damn PCOS.
I mean it's not completely covered in fur, but there are still enough hairs down there to make it embarassing. I pluck them out but they end up leaving a spot so not like it does much.
And I'm not sure when I'll be able to get a regular u/s b/c of the fat. Damn fleshy fannypack is right over the uterus area so I know that's going to cause problems. I mean I don't mind getting transvag u/s since I'm used to it, but I don't want some u/s tech that doesn't know me try to do it on the stomach and have to switch to vag b/c I'm fat.. ya know?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Not too bad

It's been a pretty good day today. Gagging was minimal, but seems to be gone now.
I'm still getting those weird mild aches down below. It's gotta be round ligament right?

Oh I had the most amazing looking dream last night. Seriously, I woke up in awe.
The context of the dream was stupid, it was set hundreds of years ago, but there were cheerleaders in it o_O
Anyway, the whole look of the dream was just.. well.. dreamy lol. It looked like an animated movie.
It was on a beach that was surrounded by small cliffs and jungle. Very busy with a lot of beach combers and BIG ships w/ their sails out in the water. Everything was so saturated with color. The sky was blue, purple, pink and orange and UGH man, I wish there was technology to record dreams b/c this would've been amazing.

Well enough of that... I bought a maternity dress the other day. Old Navy is having a sale and I was looking through and saw one that I liked. We're going to a wedding at the end of Feb so I figured it would come in handy :)
link to it
or just a photo of the dress.
I especially like it b/c it has sleeves! Designers need to get it in to their heads that not all women want to show off their fat arms or dark pits :\

And yeah, that's about it. Going to start working on the nursery probably next week after my appointment. If everything is still looking good then I'll work on it again (and post photos of couse).

I've just been so lazy. I brought in all of the Christmas decor from outside, but I haven't put it up yet. It's just all sitting in the dining room.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Before going to bed

I just wanted to post really quick.
Gagging has goe away for the day.

I'm getting some I dunno.... aches down below though. It's all over in the ladybits area.. uterus, ovaries.
I'm not sure what round ligament pain is but I'm hoping that's all this is.
It's not too bad and I can tell that it's def not cramping.. it's just random aches and sharpish/mild pains.
So yeah *shrugs*

Oh DH is off next Wed too so we get to go to my appointment together. YAY :D It was fun meeting him there last time, but it will be nice to actually drive there with him.
FX our peanut is fine and wiggles all over the place for us when we see him/her again :)


Gag city today.
Thought it was going to be another boring nothing day. BOY was I wrong.

Woke up feeling fine. Put in my suppository, poured myself a glass of milk, took my synthroid and felt off.
Nothing major.
Fast forward and it's close to lunch time. I eat it a bit early b/c I usually just get hungry early. Well, today's lunch was a bit late and my body was not having any of it.
Went to the grocery store with DH and we were going to get something after.
While still in the store... the gagging kicked in. Absolutely no nausea or anything to tell me that it's going to happen. I just get that feeling in my chest/throat and I gag and the bad thing is, the more I think about it, the more it happens.
So yeah, that wasn't fun in the grocery store trying to keep it together and not gross everyone out with my random gagging lol.

Eating did help, but typing and thinking about it now is causing it to happen again.

I really can't complain though. So many women have awful symptoms that completely drain them, so I am def counting myself lucky for only having to deal with this.

I must say that I do wish my boobs would get bigger lol. You read everything saying that your breasts should be getting bigger by now, I look down and nope... still the same.
They WERE getting bigger, but now that they're not really sore any longer.. they went back down to their usual size.
It would be nice to sport a D cup... hide some of this stomach fat that I've gained :P hehe

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

9 weeks

Man, I can not believe I am 9 weeks pregnant!! That thought it just so alien to me.
It's like even though I was trying for this for SO long and wanted it SO bad, when it finally happened, and finally stuck.... it just doesn't seem real at all. Like I'm living someone else's life.
It's seriously bizarre to think that there is a little baby in there. Hell, I think I've only said twice now, out loud, that I'm pregnant b/c it's just weird!

Oh crap, I forgot to say what this blog is going to be about. Basically it's going to be my pregnancy journal. I'm going to try to post on here every day and just give a detailed account on what's going on.

Today... I woke up feeling like shit.
I fell asleep easy enough, but I woke up at around 2am and could not get back in to that deep sleep. I kept waking up about every 10 mins.
Surprisingly I'm really not all that tired right now, but I can tell that I didn't sleep well.

I don't feel very pregnant today. I had a very minor gag incident this morning after I drank some water, but that's been it and it could've easily been caused b/c I was nervous and worried about not feeling pregnant.

Diarrhea just a minute ago... awesome :\
I've been trying to eat foods that I know will trigger things to move along, but I certainly don't want diarrhea. I just don't want the butthole ripping poo I've had a couple of times now.

I've been feeling random aches down below. Some were on my right side, and then it moved to the left. I think it's bowel and what I ate for lunch and the diarrhea issue is causing it. *shrugs*

Uhm what else... my left nipple itches like crazy and I can't scratch it like I want to! lol My nipple is just sensitive enough that I can't really get a good scratch in and have to be all delicate about it which ends up just making it itch more. BLEH!

Dreams are still very detailed. They're not really vivid and haven't been. Like I said, they're just detailed.
Like say before, if I dreamt about a house, I'd remember it was a house, and I was there with someone.
Now if I had the same dream, I'd be able to tell you the color of the house, the name of the street, what the weather was like, who I was there with, what they were wearing, what I was wearing, and every other little detail. It's weird that pregnancy causes that to happen. Wonder if it's the progesterone?

I think that's it so far today. I may be moody too, but it's not irrational and it doesn't come out of nowhere.

I just hope everything is ok. Even though I am used to my symptoms coming and going, it does still worry me.
I have to admit that watching a friend lose her LO when she was this far along scared the shit out of me.
It's like, just because you saw that little heartbeat... it doesn't mean everything is ok. Anything can happen.
I don't want to go in next week and be totally oblivious to the worst possible outcome, ya know? I need to worry b/c if I suddenly had something like that happen to me.. I don't want to be totally 100% shocked by it.
Hope that made sense.

The intro to yours truly :P

I swear I'm not full of myself :P lol
Well since this is a new blog, might as well say something about myself in the first post and what this blog is going to be about.

My name is Lisa, I'm currently 32 and at this moment 9 weeks pregnant. (DH is 33)
I have PCOS, hypothyroidism, and I'm fat.

I've tried clomid and femara and neither one does anything for me. Well, at least clomid. I was only put on a very small dose of femara b/c my gyn didn't want to increase my dose for whatever reason.
The only thing that got me to start ovulating was follistim injections.. and A LOT of it.
But even having to do so much of it, I got 4 BFPs from it! Unfortunatly, those all ended very early.

I 100% believe that being overweight has caused the majority of my fertility problems. Oh PCOS is a bitch too and doesn't help matters, but I really think being overweight was the main problem.
At my highest weight a couple of years ago I was 250lbs at 5'1". BIG in other words.
I changed my diet very slowly, and very slowly, the weight started to come off.
I wish I could say that during this time I exercised, but I didn't. There would be short periods of time when I did exercise, but I'm lazy, what can I say. I didn't get to 250 by being active.
Anywho, this time, when I finally got pregnant (and naturally), I weighed about 195lbs. Still very overweight but nowhere near to what I was before.

I honestly didn't think losing weight was going to do much of anything. I had lost 50lbs and nothing was going on with my body. Then I dropped 60, and after my 3rd chemical pregnancy... I ovulated on my own. Holy frickin crap!
And I did it again the month after that! Holy shit! Maybe losing weight can help! lol
Fastforward... and I had my 4th chemical pregancy.
It took almost a month for it to finalyl resolve naturally. I finally got AF and started a new cycle.
I took OPKs, took my temp and crossed my fingers.
I honestly didn't think I was going to ovulate that month, but finally on cd24, my OPKs were dark! WOO!
They were just shy of being a positive but we BD'd anyway. Next day on cd 25... positive!
And 8 days later, BFP!

I wish I knew why this one is sticking when the others didn't, but I guess you can't really dwell on the past too much, especially with a question that will never be answered.
I just now have to hope that this little baby growing inside of me is going to finally be the start of the new chapter in our lives.

I skipped over quite a bit, but you get the jist of what happened lol. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask.