Sunday, August 31, 2014

I'm so HOT!!!

And not in the good looking way lol.
It's hot as hell outside and even with the AC on, it's like my body can still feel the heat and I'm sweating like crazy. BLEH!
All I have to say is, thank goodness for AC. I do not know how people survived before AC lol.

Oh and correction... Zoe only weighed in at 26lbs, not 28. So kind of tiny but in proportion as her doctor said heh.
Someone from that DD group mentioned hearing that if you double the height at 2years, it tells you how tall they'll be as adults. Which means if that's true, Zoe will be 5'6". Not too shabby :) But then again it doesn't matter too much for girls. Just hope if we have a boy, he'll be on the taller side so that won't hang over his head when he gets older since women like taller men. Oh well... short, tall, whatever.. just so long as he/she is healthy.

Feeling good though. Yesterday the morning sickness kicked up a bit after I had posted. Gagging at anything and everything nasty. Gagging after eating etc etc. Thankfully it stopped by mid afternoon though.

Zoe went to go spend the night with her aunt (DH's aunt). I dunno... I don't mind Zoe spending the night with her, but I don't like it. This aunt is the one that hogs Zoe whenever we go out to dinner while MiL barely gets to hold her. It's like she thinks that just b/c there's already one grandchild (that is pretty attached to MiL) that it's ok for her to monopolize all of Zoe's attention. It makes me angry b/c MiL is granny... NOT this aunt.
But I dunno.... I guess Zoe is just lucky to have so many people in her life that loves her so much... which is why I don't say anything.


Saturday, August 30, 2014

2yr checkup

Zoe had her 2yr checkup yesterday and all is great :)
She was 28lbs, 33inches and head circ... not sure but it was average as it has been the entire time.
She had to get her finger pricked, didn't cry at all, and had to get one shot... again, didn't even cry.
I make DH hold her when she gets a shot and he said she just flinched a little and that was it. So proud of her :D

We go back and 2.5 years in February. I can't remember if they said she was getting another shot then. I think so? But I'm not sure.
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DH took 3 days off, so he was off yesterday, monday and tuesday. He does have to work this coming weekend, but he took the 9th off for my appointment :D Hopefully that goes well. Dunno why it shouldn't but ya never know.
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It's almost 7am right now and the puppy woke me up just after 6 needing to pee. UGH. I mean it's good that he seems to be learning to hold it all night, but since DH isn't getting up when he normally does... I'm left having to get up to let him pee. And of course he doesn't want to lay back down and sleep. Oh no... it's super awesome playtime hour! :\
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We need to start eating better again. If not for myself, then definitely for DH. He's so unhappy that he's gained weight back and I'm feeling guilty about it too.
We're going grocery shopping today (instead of Sundays since we don't want to feel hurried to get home so DH can go to church)... so will be getting healthy stuff instead of all of the junky cravings crap I've been wanting.
It will be good for everyone *nodnod*
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UGH family questions starting to annoy me already.
Got "So how's the baby doing?" Last night.... WTH? Do I have Xray vision? Are pieces of paper w/ notes from the baby w/ updates on it's development coming out of my vag? No? Then how the hell am I supposed to know? Yeah I use the doppler, but that's not telling me much of anything.
Just stupid. Of course I just say "Ok as far as I know." That seems to satisfy them.
I know I'm being overly sensitive about it, so just have to suck it up and stop my internal bitch from rolling her eyes. Going to be dealing with it until March.

FiL SO wants a boy. I know they all do, but since it seems like we're the only ones successfully conceiving, they're relying on us to have them a boy. I really want a boy too, but obviously, we'll all love another little girl just as much. If all goes well, I can't wait to see what he/she looks like. If they'll look like Zoe or if they'll look totally different like my nieces w/ one being light colored (blue eyes, blonde hair) and the other being dark (dark brown hair and eyes).
So exciting :D

What's new... aching. I'm SO damn achy in my pelvic region. It's so uncomfortable and persistent. It's not cramping or RLP, just an overall ache that won't go away. Reminds me of how I felt the last tri w/ Zoe. UGH, I don't want to imagine what that's going to be like if I already feel this way lol.

Morning sickness seems to have let up. I still gag around poop... like a lot, but overall it's been slowly getting better.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Showing?? Yeah....

So, what I thought was just bloat... no.. turns out it's more than likely me just showing. It's still mostly fat unfortunately, but it's not going down even when the bloat feeling goes away. My stomach has now surpassed my boobs in the amount they stick out. Given that it wasn't a difficult task to achieve but still lol.
Yikes... I seriously look like I'm about 6m along. Oh well. Ya know what... I'm going to pop this sucker out and enjoy the hell out of my giant pregnant belly. It'll be better when it's actually mostly baby but.. meh... whatever hehe.

10w5d

Had to pee so decided to check for the heartbeat again. Got a decent video this time instead of it sounding like a psycho breathing heavy in to the mic lol.
video

Found the heartbeat center this time instead of to the left. Our little choo choo train is moving all around in there. :D

My lower back is killing me right now. Not sure if it was b/c I was hunched over making her clock yesterday (probably) or what, but MAN.... I couldn't get in to any comfortable position to sleep. Lower back is still hurting some. Thankfully it's only a mild pain so it's bearable at least.

Speaking of the clock... I painted it gold and no.... just no. Looks so cheap and ugly. Thought gold would look interesting but no... it looks so tacky and bleh. I'll probably do it in some girly colors. Was thinking black and another color, but it would clash too much w/ the rest of her thing.

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Oh and I finally dug around in our electronics hoarder closet and pulled out another keyboard. WOO! YAY number buttons and exclamation points!!!! ;)

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Flutters

I definitely felt flutters earlier. BUT I had also just had a BM so it could've been gas or more stuff moving along in my intestine. I think it's too early to feel movement though right? Even for a 2nd child? I dunno...
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Working on a clock for Zoe's thing. I've totally been slacking on it and really need to get all of the details finished so I can take some photos. She plays with it a little bit, but I think she'll be more in to it once she's a little older.

Anywho, the clock is coming along pretty good. I'm using a cork coaster thing you use to put houseplants on. Has cork glued to a board. Would be a lot easier if it wasn't glued but oh well. It's not taking as long as I thought it would. But I haven't spent a lot of time w/ Zoe today though which makes me feel bad. As soon as I get off here I'll go bug her ;D hehe
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UGH this puppy is crapping ALL over the place and it's turned mushy. Probably b/c we switched his food but still... GROSS.
Grrr, just ticks me off b/c seriously, we'll let him outside for at least 10 or so minutes. He's pooped out there before so we know he knows what to do out there. As soon as we let him in, within 5 minutes he'll crap somewhere.

Thankfully Zoe will run and tell us and knows not to step in it heh.
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So.... DH did have a friend who used to go to the guy's night thing.
As soon as this friend got married... he stopped going and doesn't even text DH back... the few times DH did text him.
I mean we even got him a Christmas present, which is what DH was texting him about wondering if he was ever going to show up at guy's night again to get it, but nope... nothing.
Now I get that newlyweds want to spend a lot of time with eachother but I get the feeling that his wife is the reason behind his sudden absence.
The thing is, I'm not sure why. It's not like the group of guys are a bad bunch. They're a bunch of religious great guys that usually just hang out and do like a bible study kind of thing during their guy's nights. Sometimes they'll play poker too. That's it.
I dunno.... just think it sucks that he.. the friend.... pretty much cut all ties with his friends.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Eh, longer than I thought

So I dopplered again today lol.
It's longer than I thought I would last without checking hehe.
Anywho... took me only a minute but I found the HB and it sounded just like a little train chugging along.
I remember Zoe's sounding more like galloping. But then again I didn't try with her until 16w so maybe it changes the way it sounds the further along you are?

I did record it, but I put the camera right under my nose so it's a nice video of me breathing right in to the camera mic. DOH... didn't even think of it until right after. Sigh.
I'll try again later... maybe next week if I can start picking it up a little more consistently.

Infant car seats

Been trying to look for infant car seats that are good for small cars. Same crap that I read when we were looking before and those did NOT fit in to our car.
There is one that looks really good. Something called Cybex Aton?
Saw a video of a woman comparing 3 different ones in a small car and that one looked to be the best.
But it also comes with a super hefty price tag of 250-300 dollars too. It seems to get really great reviews though.... just that price... UGH
We are going to have to go for something more expensive though. That cheap 10 dollar one we had just isn't going to work... not with Zoe's car seat back there too.
Can't wait until we can get another car... whenever that may be.
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Poor puppy. He's so nervous and doesn't like eating without DH or myself around him. Didn't realize how bad it was though. I don't think he ate more than a few kibble yesterday and maybe a few laps of water and that was it. He woke up last night as usual, laid back down right by my ear and all I could hear was his little stomach grumbling and growling.
He didn't have any food in his dish this morning, but that only means one of the other dogs got to it first. Put his dish by my desk and gave him some more and he totally scarfed it down like he hadn't eaten in forever. Poor little guy was starving. He's in a kibble coma at my feet right now w/ a nice full belly.
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Feeling pretty good overall. Tired though. I'm sure it's just from the pup waking up during the night though.
Still having some gag attacks... doesn't seem to be as many or last as long.
Did try to scoop some poop this morning and yeah... that was not happening. It's a gross enough job without added gagging thrown in to the mix.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

FTMs are crazy

Yes, that includes how I was when pregnant with Zoe lol.
Just going to some of these boards and seeing how much some women freak out over the smallest things... I can't help but laugh. I remember being that way and now look back and just realize how ridiculous it was.
Like one woman freaking the hell out because she ate ONE slice of pepperoni pizza. Really??? lol

Granted I am still freaking about some things myself but... so glad I'm not still in that FTM stage where EVERYTHING makes you paranoid and you're super duper careful about following all the guidelines etc etc.
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So I found the HB again for a quick second last night. Checked one more time before I went to bed. Had to pee like crazy so thought to try it.
It took about 5min and I heard it for maybe a second at the most. It was there and then it wasn't.
BUT... it didn't sound as fast as it should be? I'm sure this is me just being paranoid.
Going to try to wait at least a couple of days before checking again.
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Zoe's 2yr wellness checkup is on Friday. Can't wait to see how big she's gotten.
She is growing up so fast.
She's said really short sentences before, but this morning I was talking to her while we waited for DH to get his things so we could go grocery shopping. I mentioned how the puppy was pooing all over the place. And she nodded and said "He's pooping in the house." LOL
I know that's not a huge deal or anything but just to hear her respond to me like that was.... exciting and adorable :D
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Speaking of the puppy. UUUUUGH. This little shit. He's adorable and already part of the family but good lord... it's going to be a pain house breaking him. We'll put him outside, leave him out there for a little bit w/ the other dogs. We'll see him pee.....
As soon as we let him in, he'll go take a dump somewhere AND will also usually pee again. WTF?
Plus, he'll give no warning to when he's going to do it. One second he's playing, the next, he's pissing somewhere. Grrrrrr
I actually don't mind the poo so much right now b/c they're the size of cheetos... it's the pee that is ticking me off b/c even though they're tiny spots, those tiny spots add up and soak in to the carpet.
PLUS he will NOT lay by DH at night. He's a good little snuggle buddy but it would be nice to move around like I used to without having a little chihuahua trying to glue itself to my head/neck. It's sweet, don't get me wrong, but a little bit of space would be nice lol. Nevermind him waking up at 3am every night needing to pee and poop and then thinking it's PARTY TIME.
If he were a bigger dog, he'd be sleeping on the floor w/ the other big dog.
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MiL asked me about names on Friday. I didn't tell her anything. I think we're set on the boy name, Bishop, but girl is still up in the air.
I mentioned River to DH but I'm not sure he likes it. I think he thinks I only like it b/c of Doctor Who and Firefly o_O I'm a nerd but not that big of a nerd that I would name our child after a character.
I do still like the name Harley, but the more I say it, the more I think it sounds like a future stripper name LOL. So I think that one is out of the running.
Asked DH today if he liked any particular girl name and I'm not sure if he was joking but he mentioned the name Penelope. I actually really like it, specially the nickname Penny. I actually would not mind giving another DD that name :D

Not sure how much he's thought about it though. I'm sure he will once we're closer to finding out the gender.

I told him I was going to ask them at my next appointment how much the 16w gender scan is. It's probably something like 50+ I would guess. If it's 50 or just a little more... I think I'd want it done. If it's a lot though.... meh, we can wait another month lol.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Movement? Probably not

So I slept like total shit last night. Just tossing and turning and could not get comfortable.
As I was laying there, twice, I felt a very very light fizzy feeling where I'm guessing baby to be. It only lasted for maybe a second at the most.
Not sure it was actually baby since I was having a little bit of gas too though. Not at the same time as I felt it, but throughout the night I had been passing gas lol.
It was probably just that I was feeling but thought I'd mention it anyway.

Still having trouble finding the heartbeat. Last 2 times I tried I haven't been able to find it. I'd be lying if I said it didn't worry me at least a little, but I know I'm still really early and baby is still super tiny. I'll keep trying daily though. I doubt I'll find it consistently until probably a few weeks from now. Maybe at 13-14 weeks.

Lol, everyone keeps going crazy over my belly. I have to remind them that it's still just fat right now rofl. I can't wait for that big ole pregnant stomach.
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Ugh, Zoe keeps playing in the dog's water. She's dumped it about 3 times now before I could stop her. She's crying right now b/c I popped her on her booty for doing it... ya know, popped her on her well padded by thick cloth diaper booty lol. Oh toddlers.

She is def doing the terrible 2's dance right now. Just screams and has tantrums over seemingly nothing. At least nothing I can figure out. I ask her what's wrong and she just runs off shrieking some more o_O I just ignore her though when she starts up. It's difficult to do sometimes though when she gets stubborn with it and carries on for a while.

She's my shrieking little munchkin and I love her little ass heh.

Really need to go through all of her clothes again and put up the small ones. We already have 3 or 4 bins of her clothes. If we have another girl, we are set.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

I heard it again :D

Had to pee, decided WTH and check to see if I could find the heartbeat again.
Checked in the general area of where I had found it before and there it was. It took a minute and it was faint, but it sounded like a little train just chugging along. So happy I can have some reassurance.
Will try to get a video of it maybe next week or 2. We'll see what happens and how often I can find it, how loud it is.

So slow.. so long random post.. woohoo

These weeks are going by SO damn slow.
I'll be 10w tomorrow and it feels like I should be further along just b/c the days have gone by so slow.

Been feeling ok. About the same as I have been so nothing new to report.

I've been obsessively watching pregnancy vlogs, birth stories and all that good stuff on youtube lol. Wish more of them were overweight though. Just feels like all of the ones I've seen so far are from young super skinny women. Which there's absolutely nothing wrong with that or anything, but ya know... there are us older plumper gals needing to feel a connection with similar women.
But whatever, I still watch them.

Just watched a surgery video of docs removing an ectopic pregnancy. 10w... it showed them holding the little baby as they removed it. So sad and heartbreaking. Baby is so tiny but looks like a little baby. It's crazy how fast they grow in such a short amount of time.
Anyway... while watching that was fascinating, it just makes me kind of angry too. Wish more places would do earlier scans. At least to make sure that baby is in the right place. I keep seeing women saying that their doc office won't see them until 12-16w. That's INSANE to me. Oh well I guess....

Ugh... DD board I go to. Someone asked when is the earliest you can hear baby's hb on a home doppler. Some lying ass heifer said she could find her babies at 6w.
What the fuck ever you lying liar. Just got the impression of her being a "I'm so special" types that have to out do everyone else.

Another UGH moment. I'm part of  PCOS FB groups. In one of them, someone posted a photo claiming they were 10dpo and to look at the cheapy HPT they just took.
I'm not sure on what brand it was, but it looked like a OPK, why? Well b/c the test line was WAY darker than the control line already. At supposedly only 10dpo... keep that in mind AND on a cheap internet test. Like I said, not sure what brand it was, but come on, what internet cheapy test have you ever seen to give a super dark line that early?
Anyway, someone called her out and said the photo looked doctored and that it looked like an OPK etc etc. Now that post is gone.
I just don't understand people sometimes. What the hell is going on in your life that you have to fake shit like that?

What else what else....
Puppy Pippin is doing ok. He's getting used to being here thankfully. And thankfully no hawk or owl has flown off with him the few times we've left him outside unsupervised lol.
He attached himself to me like a baby bird does to whatever is first sees after hatching. That first day, this puppy has not left my side. It's sweet but also extremely annoying when he won't stop whining b/c I went out of sight for a second. Plus he won't sleep next to DH and snuggles right up to my head all night long. He's gotten used to my constant getting up to pee thankfully though and will snuggle back down to sleep.
I can't even count how many times he's peed in the house. There's no warning for it at all. Just all of a sudden there will be a dime-quarter size wet spot. AND he's tried to pee on the bed... twice.
It's hot as hell outside so I sure as heck don't want to leave them out for too long so... guess I'll just deal with it for now. You get spoiled with older dogs that know how to hold it in and have their routines down with your own rofl. Just completely forgot how much work puppies are. It's worth it though :D
He's gonna be a great dog... just have to make sure he doesn't get that Napoleon complex small dogs get. You know what I mean.... their owner babies the hell out of them and the dog becomes dominant and gets mean as shit, but everyone thinks it's cute b/c it's a small dog. That shit is not cute and that crap is not happening here.

Zoe is becoming so defiant. I can't fuss at her anymore without her yelling back at me with that little finger wagging and her saying "NO" and "STOP" lol. It does make me a bit frustrated, but also I can't help but find it adorable and funny too. Really need to spend more quality time with her while it's still just her.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I found it... WOO

Tried 2 more times. First retry I put a pillow under my butt and moved that wand everywhere but nada.
Took a short nap while Zoe was asleep and decided WTH, one more time.
Put  pillows under my butt plus I had to pee. Bladder wasn't full but had the 'need to pee' feeling so figured that would work.
Tried again and there that beautiful sound was. He/she was a bit to the left and I'm positive it wasn't my own pulse I was hearing. Too fast and just sounded different. I only caught it for maybe 10 seconds but that's more than enough. YAY :D

Doppler.. WOO

I finally got my doppler back. Had to go over there and get it b/c I knew they wouldn't bring it over.
Used it straight away when I got home and..... nothing lol.
I figured as much but was hoping for a little something.
I THINK I may have heard the placenta. It was def a swooshing type of pulse and in the same spot. And I heard my own pulse too, but that was it.
Not sure what I was expecting since baby is still probably only just an inch or a little over that and has a lot of room to move around. Nevermind my giant pooch making things difficult lol.
Just glad to finally have it back so I can start obsessing again hehe.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

9w4d or 10w3d

I may start going with the LMP date if baby starts measuring ahead... I'll probably eventually go with that date a little further along. Just feels like... I dunno...cheating? to do it now lol.

Anyway... Feeling ok. DH mentioned yesterday that my morning sickness seems to be worse this time. And while it is still mild, I do have to agree with him after thinking about it. I thought that it was about the same as w/ Zoe but I do think it's a little worse. It's def happening more regularly. I always have gagging fits in the morning before I eat anything, will usually always gag after eating and pumping out water in to a pitcher.. for some reason always makes me gag too. Brushing my teeth... every other time will cause gagging.
I still can't complain though. No throwing up... yet... so I'll handle the gagging.. even though it's gross when it happens in public. It's only happened a couple of times and thankfully no one noticed but still.

Was gagging like crazy this morning putting Zoe in to her carseat. Look over and see the neighbor out by his car. I know he heard me gagging like crazy. Probably wondering WTF was going on lol.

Still getting annoyed pretty easily. Getting a whiny little puppy right now probably wasn't the best idea lol. He's a cute little pup and I understand why he whines but holy shit when he starts it grates on my last nerve. Nevermind when he wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks it's playtime and starts jumping on my face. Would love it if he'd snuggle up with DH but the dog instantly attached itself to me. Oh well. There are worse things than puppy kisses at 2am lol.

My lower back is starting to bother me. It's a dull ache but always there. I can't lay on my back for too long most of the time b/c it starts hurting more.

And yeah, the other usual stuff, weird/vivid dreams, peeing a lot etc.

Ugh... still  weeks for my next appointment. So scared that they'll do the u/s and there won't be a heartbeat.
Another m/c in my DD group sure doesn't calm the nerves any.

Ranting for a moment

I have to rant about DH for a minute.
Most of the time he's great but this whole getting pissy with me about no sex thing needs to just fucking stop already. He knows I'm not the horndog I was before having Zoe. So excuse me if grabbing one of my tits or grabbing my ass doesn't do it for me anymore. Or hell, not even that most of the time. Most of the time it's "We're having sex tonight". No he would never force it, but I mean damn, would it be so difficult to show some affection beforehand other than said tit and ass grabbing?
I should say that the grabbing is playful at least, but ya know.. how about some kisses and hugs and compliments?
And seriously, it's not like we never have sex. It's at least twice a week which I think is pretty damn good considering I have no sex drive and either one of us are tired by the time we can have sex.
He acts like denying him ONE or hell, even two times means we're never doing it again and that I don't want/love him anymore. Again, no he doesn't say that stupid guilt trip shit to me, but he sure as heck acts like it and it just pisses me off.
Dude, you have hands.... use them.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

One good thing about blogging

I can go back and reread all of the symptoms I post about w/ my first pregnancy.
Seems to be pretty similar to what I'm experiencing now w/ my symptoms coming and going. Well, now it's more of them getting milder then being slightly less mild.
I did have a pretty bad... for me.... morning sickness morning a couple of days ago. No throwing up, but I was constantly gagging for a good 2-3 hours.

I also had a bad nightmare the other night. Thinking back it wasn't actually that scary, but the fear in the dream was so real. Just some random psycho named Grant chasing me. Me running around the house screaming for help and not being heard.
When I finally woke from the dream, I felt so freaked out that I was convinced that if I got up to get some water, there would be a burglar in the house and we'd all die lol.
Oh pregnancy brain.. you make me so forgetful and then slam my dreams w/ scary or weird shit.
____

Our pup is ok. He's still not adjusted that well here. He wants to play with our other dogs so much but they just don't really want anything to do with him right now. I know our spoiled rotten dog Cid is feeling a bit resentful.  Oh well.
Zoe needs to be constantly watched with him. She's stepped on him.... on purpose and thought it was HILARIOUS. Psycho child.... she just doesn't understand that what she does can hurt him. She's so used to our  big sturdy dogs so she thinks she can be rough with the new one too. We're always telling her to be nice and be gentle. Hopefully it finally clicks and she understands.
Poor pup. Hope he'll start feeling more at home here soon. Maybe should've waited a couple more weeks before we got him.
____

Oh and I forgot to mention that SiL forgot to bring my damn doppler.......... GRRRRRRRRR so frickin angry about that.
Then, she says they'll bring it over today. Then she says they'll bring it today. I texted her to remind her about it last night, which she asked me to do, and nothing. No reply back. WTF?
They always rag on me about not answering my phone and there they are doing the same f-ing thing. At least we have a landline they can call if we're not answering... we're screwed if we're trying to get in touch with them b/c they only have their cells which they never answer.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

The only time you'll ever get to choose a family member

SiL and brother finally brought over our newest little family member and OMG he's so tiny and cute.... imagine lots of exclamation marks lol....









You can see in the last photo and a few others how wonky his one leg looks. He kind of squats down a little to compensate for it but he gets around ok. Def have to take him to the vet to get checked out again and see what they say.
Thinking it might just be quicker to maybe just take the leg off. 3 legged dogs are cute and totally normal :D But like I said, we'll see what they say.

He's already pooped and peed outside... and peed inside once lol. I knew he was about to but meh, not a big deal right now when dealing w/ a dog this size. It was the size of a nickel lol.
Our dogs seem really interested in him but also not sure what to do. I'm sure they'll warm up to him in no time.

Zoe is absolutely smitten with him. As we expected, she's doesn't fully understand the word gentle, but she's actually been pretty good so far. She's fascinated that she can pick him up. She just doesn't know how to put down softly and kind of tossed him a couple of times. Thankfully her tosses aren't very strong or far so it was more like just dropping him. She'll learn though.
He's def going to have to sleep with us. He's been whining since he's gotten here, but that can only be expected from a newly removed pup. He also has that chihuahua shiver down lol.

Anywho, he's so cute... oh and we named him Pippin :D Other than his leg and some scratching from fleas, he looks to be in great health. He's def going to be a small dog when he's full grown.
I'm going to have to go outside whenever I let the dogs out to make sure hawks don't try to fly off with him. He's the size of a healthy rat. lol

Friday, August 15, 2014

Ugh... just stop

So sad. Another woman from the March DD group found out that her LO stopped growing and has no heartbeat. This is after seeing the baby twice and both times with a heartbeat.

I know chances of m/c after seeing the hb is lower than before.... Sure as hell doesn't seem that way with as many women experiencing this in that DD group though.
My heart really breaks for them and honestly, it scares me to death.

Pls pls pls let everything be ok with this baby.

Sigh...

No puppy today..... MAYBE tomorrow. Yeah we'll frickin see if my brother and his wife decide to flake again.
Oh and did I mention that they bought Zoe NOTHING when they went to comic con like they said they would? Why? B/c everything was too expensive, oh but they bought themselves some nice expensive shit.... stayed in expensive hotels etc etc.
Hell, I still gave her the shirt from the rock festival as a thank you for watching our dogs even though they almost burned down our fucking house. A little something in return for watching their baby would've been nice. Nevermind just a fucking thank you would've been nice to have gotten from them which we never did.

Yes I'm pregnancy raging right now. I'm just tired of their shit. It's like when they're being decent, they're great... but it's rare and they're the kind of people you just want to shake some gawd damn sense in to. They take and take and take and rarely ever give anything back and you put up with it b/c you love them... even though they drive you crazy.

You just want to scream in their faces for them to eat shit and to go fuck themselves whenever they come around and act like pieces of crap mooches, but you don't b/c ya know.. you're not a total dick lol. Just some gratefulness would be nice. ANY attempt to show that they appreciate what everyone frickin does for them to help them out with whatever.
Anyway.... whatever. They're never going to change.
____

Been feeling tired again lately. It's not as bad as it was at first, but I can still tell that I'm having some really low energy during the day. Sleep could be better, but it hasn't been that bad either. Thankfully Zoe has been sleeping in a little to about 7:30 and that's been SO flippin nice. I still have nights where I wake up around 3 to pee and then can't get back to sleep after. Sucks.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Well this is annoying

Total first world problem here.... my keyboard is screwed. Quite a few of the number keys aren't working so I have to spell out any number I want to add to a post lol.
We may have an extra keyboard in the closet, but... that closet is a hoarders dream. Filled with empty boxes and junk that we haven't seen in a couple of years ROFL. We'll have to clean it out once we start on the nursery, but yeah, I don't want to deal with it right now to look for a keyboard :P May start cleaning it out a little tomorrow. We'll see how I feel heh.

I need to start organizing my closet too. Damn.. I have a lot to do. There are  cardboard boxes filled with junk that I need to organize or throw out. Just need to purge a lot of shit basically.
____

Holy hell... toddlers are pure destruction and chaos. I was washing a few dishes while I was waiting for the oven to preheat. It was... maybe ten to twenty minutes. Well I finish up and go in to the living room for something and see that Zoe has mystery something all over her.
I get in to the room further and HOLY SHIT..... she got ahold of some eggs that we just got from MiL and totally smashed them ALL over the place on the carpet. I'm sure she probably ate a little bit too.
Not really worried about that since they were fresh eggs. But still... BLEH.
The feeling of that slimy gloopy mess on the floor..... yuck. The dogs had a ball before I busted out the shampooer. That thing is getting more action within this last week than it has has since we bought it lol. It worked though thankfully. Think there might be some really really light yellowish tinges here and there but meh... they go with all the other stains on the carpet.
I should've been madder than I was about it. I was just too shocked and amazed at how quickly it all happened and I didn't even hear her grabbing the eggs off the counter. Sneaky monkey...
____

Well this is pregnancy brain and then some. Man I feel stupid. Didn't even occur to me to use the number pad on the keyboard................ sigh /facepalm... I still can't use any of the shift key symbols on the horizontal number keys but... hey at least I'll have the numbers on the right. Geezus that's embarrassing.
____

We should be getting the puppy tomorrow if SiL and my brother don't flake out. We bought puppy food, pads and a small dog dish... just need the pup now. So excited and kind of hesitant about it.
Knowing that it's probably going to need a lot of expensive vet visits is.... bleh. But I want to give this little puppy the best life it can have no matter how disabled it is or gets. DH doesn't seem to really want it and I can understand that but we've already said we would take it. Better than it going to someone that wouldn't take care of it as well as we would. Not that we're the most awesomest pet owners or anything but still hehe
Going to have to really watch Zoe around him though for a while. She hasn't fully grasped how to be gentle yet and I know if I left her alone too long, she could seriously hurt a small pup, nevermind it's wonky leg/paw.
____

Pregnancy symptoms have been ok. Same old same old.
Morning sickness hasn't been that bad. Seems a lot milder this time than w/ Zoe. It could pick up like it did with her though. Even then it still didn't last very long.

Having some crazy ass dreams. Only one I remember off the top of my head is a sexual dream involving Justin frickin Bieber. BARF. I have no damn reason why my brain chose that little douchebag to pop in to a sex dream. Well, we didn't actually have sex, thank goodness, but it was going to happen if I hadn't woken up. Good lord brain... wtf... wtf. Out of all the hot celebs out there.. it had to pick that dingleberry.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Meh

We were about an hour late for the concert yesterday. It wasn't only b/c of MiL. It started pouring down rain on the way there so traffic was at a crawl b/c you could only see about 10ft, if that, in front of you.
Then once we cleared that and got about 20miles from the place.... traffic became TERRIBLE. I do not know how people that live there put up with that shit.
Just slowed down to a crawl or a stop for no damn reason. I can understand if it was congested from people trying to merge but it wasn't even that... it was slow just for the hell of being slow. It would speed up for about half a mile then slow down for the next 3. SO flippin frustrating.

We missed the first band AFI. No idea what the hell they even sing.
And 30seconds to Mars just started when we got there. It was a pretty nice place, but we were way in the back on the lawn. It was still nice though, just you don't have a nice close up look at anything.

30 seconds to Mars.... meh. Jared Leto looked like stereotypical white Jesus. He sang alright... when he did sing. He would sing like 3 or 4 words then do the whole "Ok now the audience sings!" in every single song... not exaggerating. The audience sang more of the songs than he did.
Then he'd get people up on stage and it seemed like he was going to let them sing a little, but then he'd pretty much forget they were there so these poor people are just standing there looking around like... "WTF am I supposed to do now?" He did this multiple times too. Like these people were just supposed to feel blessed to be acknowledged and be in his presence. It was..... strange.

Linkin Park was pretty good. Pretty much nonstop song after song after song. There would be maybe 1min pauses between some of the songs, but that would be it. Not a lot of crowd interaction other than the singer getting all up in the front row people's faces which they were happy about... especially when he took his shirt off lol.
They were good though, sounded fantastic and put on a great show. Still don't like their new album though.

I started feeling sick about 30min after Linkin Park came on. I hadn't had enough to drink and the heat along w/ the beat of the music mixed with the cig/weed smoke and the smell of someone farting made me sick. I had to sit or else I would've puked... I almost did after I sat.
Had a couple of really deep gags and felt better after that for most of the rest of the concert.
And yes, I swear it smelled like someone kept farting and of course we had to be downwind of it. We weren't anywhere near any bathrooms so that's the only thing I could think of on why I kept smelling shit. And someone right behind us kept blazing up a damn joint and of course we were downwind of that.
I know ppl smoke up... I have no problem with it if they're adults... but damn... why are we always right around the people doing it??

Anywho, overall, not bad. It was a nice venue and we wouldn't mind going to another one there.... just have to remember about the traffic though.

We have another concert to go to in early October. Really excited about that one. It's A Day to Remember. The group we got smooshed and trampled on and crowd surfed on at the big rock festival lol. It was fun but no... I'm glad we'll have seats for this concert, specially since I'll be close to 20w then.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I just want to strangle some people

So... MiL is a good person but gawd damn is she flaky as hell.
She's one of those people that will ask you something and then won't listen to your answer or will only listen partially to it.

I was supposed to drop Zoe off over an hour ago but they had a doctors appointment that ran late and they were hungry. Fine, whatever.... nevermind that she forgot to mention that they had with them the slowest eater in the whole frickin world. Seriously, this woman hasn't tasted hot, hell.. WARM food in forever with how slow she eats.... and I am not even exaggerating.
Well apparently, they had about a half a dozen other fucking random things they have to do now too before they get home that could wait another damn time, but they have to do them RIGHT NOW.
So yeah, they're not going to get home until late and we're going to be late for our concert.

It's not a huge deal that we'll miss a little bit of it, it just pisses me off b/c she's done this before. She specifically asked me when we had to leave and I told her we were going to need to leave like right after DH gets off of work. I guess in her half listening brain, that meant that dropping Zoe off when DH would be getting home would be good enough.
Just UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It doesn't help that hormones are making me extra annoyed at shit.
Like those damn Target back to school commercials w/ that tinkling kiddy music. Holy shit the music makes me want to punch a puppy. It irritates the ever loving hell out of me.

And now that Zoe has Frozen, I've let her watch it a couple of times... and I just can't with that movie. Worst gawd damn parents EVER. And all I can think about while watching it whenever Elsa is on is how terrible her parents treated her and then Anna saying that Elsa hit her heart with ice on purpose etc etc. Then the whole thing w/ the villain guy makes NO sense. It's like they needed another bad guy and didn't want Anna to have to choose who to fall in love with so they did the easy thing and made the guy bad.
And thinking about it more... all of those comments about how refreshing it was that it wasn't a girl going for a guy or being rescued by a guy blahblah... uh... that happened in the movie.
Anyway yeah.... hormones are making me extremely irritated and crap like this that MiL is pulling isn't frickin helping matters.

So much for that...

I was kind of hoping for some relief from the diarrhea since I got constipated a little. NOPE!
Diarrhea is back. I'm sure the tomatoes and hot sauce I've been eating haven't helped but damn.... I'm shitting out a lung here.
Classy I know rofl.
I guess.... at least I'm not bloated?

I'm still so worried though. Sept 9th is still so far from now. Wish I had my doppler back already. I probably wouldn't be able to pick up anything though.


I know I talk about poop a lot. Seems pregnancy and then early mom-hood all revolves around bodily functions lol.


Alrighty, gotta go get me and Zoe cleaned up. Have to drop her off in a couple of hours and maybe have to pick DH up from work if his truck doesn't start.
Then off to the concert we go!

Monday, August 11, 2014

Yikes

Ok, it's like as soon as we broke the news to everyone, my stomach has been pooched out since.
It's like my body decided to stop sucking it in and said F-it! and is letting it loose lol.
Oh well, I'm gonna embrace a giant pregnant belly. Bring it body... BRING IT!

Had a dream last night that everyone around me was finding out they were also pregnant and also due in March lol. It was actually a really sweet dream.
Really hoping my SiL gets pregnant. Not sure what her plan is though. I know her husband left some samples before he went off on to his ship (Navy). So it sounds like maybe doing IUI or something. Not really sure but I hope that she gets her rainbow baby soon. I know everyone is worried about her age, but I think if they just keep trying it will happen for them. They'll probably just have a lot of heartbreaking bumps to get over though.
____

We have a concert to go to tomorrow. Linkin Park and 30 Seconds to Mars.
I only want to see Linkin Park but I'll have to brag a little that I got to see Jared Leto live to my cousin who loves him rofl. He's.... alright... meh. I mean he's a good looking guy and a great actor but I dunno... something about him comes off douchy or something *shrugs* Hopefully he'll sing well at least. I think I only know 2 or 3 songs from his band. It should still be a good concert though. Just hope I can sit.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Few photos...

Few photos of Zoe. Still can't believe she's 2!! Growing up so fast *sniffles*

Oh and her Korean dress still fits! Actually fit better than it did :D









Busy weekend!

Sorry for not posting sooner. This weekend has been hectic though.
DH and I stayed up until 3 for me and 4 for him working on her birthday present... and it's still not done lol.
He's taking a small break from it since he's been working on it almost non-stop. There isn't that much more to do. Just small things here and there.
I still have a lot of painting and detail work to do on it though.
I swear I'll post photos when it's done. It's looking great though :)

Zoe's party yesterday went well. Saved her Big Sister shirt for last. Took everyone a couple of seconds to understand it but they eventually did heh.

Zoe made out like a bandit w/ her presents. Lots of toys and her granny and grampy bought her this cute chair, desk and coat rack set. Looks like colored pencils. It's super cute and Zoe loves it.
I have photos of it all that I'll post in a little bit.

Zoe had so much fun playing with her cousins and just getting all of that love and attention from everyone.
____

About to go out and paint some more.
Freaked myself out though. NEVER should have looked up just what subchorionic hemorrhage was.
It's definitely what the tech saw w/ my first u/s. I haven't had any bleeding other than those 2 really minor incidents after we had sex, but still.... reading about how it could get worse and cause the placenta to detach..... yeah.... I freaked myself out b/c of my curiosity :(
Damn you google!!

Speaking of pregnancy... I think constipation has found me. At least for now. Causing some major bloating too.

Still having some weird ass dreams. Can't remember anymore off the top of my head, but I should probably write them down. I have them, wake up and think "Man! That would be a great idea for a book!" lol
Still having bleeding dreams. UGH. I do remember the one from last night. It wasn't a miscarriage dream though... just one where I got my period and had to use the toilet in front of some people o_O

Haven't really been nauseous that much, but have been gagging or coughing b/c I'm about to gag. Still not a lot though. it's been pretty mild. Gagging is being set off by more things that normally wouldn't bother me. We went to a Southern buffet on Friday. I got a piece of fried chicken that looked and tasted delicious, but I could only take one bite from it b/c the grease was going to make me gag if I ate anymore. Zoe benefited from my loss though and got a tasty piece of chicken lol.

Hungry quite often. No aversions yet really. I want to eat everything but I still eat about as much as I normally do. Really craving some spaghetti which I'm fixing tonight lol.

Boobs are still sore. They're the same as they have been. Don't notice them until they get poked/jabbed or when I'm taking my bra off.

Peeing pretty often still. Need to drink more. Been a bit too dehydrated this last week. Not sure why I haven't been drinking more.

I think that's about it. Just pretty standard stuff.

Asked SiL to bring my doppler back. Think they're going to drop it off next week or a week after when they give us the puppy.
____

More on the puppy... apparently the pup has some deformaties. One of it's front paws/legs is deformed. From what it sounds like... imagine if your foot was not attached to the rest of your leg except for the skin. Now imagine trying to walk on that and what it would look like.
That's basically what is going on with one of his legs/paws. SiL said that his other one was looking strange too, but that it doesn't happen all the time and looked ok the day before.
It's probably already going to cost a lot of money to try to fix one leg.. nevermind 2. Just hope it's not causing him any pain. I can't imagine walking on your leg bone is very comfortable. We'll see when we get him and take him to the vet.
They said he moves around fine though, it just looked weird b/c his paw isn't turned the right way and like I said, doesn't look attached.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Well that was a fun way to spend early afternoon....

Zoe brought in said Minnie Mouse from the previous post to me. I instantly smelled a strong fishy odor and wondered WTF she had been rolling it around in. Thought at first maybe the cat food so gave it back to her.

Pregnancy brain struck again b/c it didn't occur to me until a good 5min later that she had gotten in to something. I get up..... and sure enough... get hit in the face with strong rotten fish smell b/c little miss someone grabbed some fish fertilizer that I had on a table and the bottle must've fallen and busted open. Yeah... it was EVERYWHERE in the sunroom.
Smelled like a rotten fish's asshole and looked like the shit that exploded out of my dog's ass last night.

So I had to spend a good hour and a half trying to shampoo the stain and funk out of the carpet while trying to keep Zoe from stepping all up in it.

Good times! :\

Oh gawd that pissed me off and I may have cursed at Zoe.... like A LOT. I didn't call her anything, but I sure as heck let some F, S, and D bombs fly. Not proud of that but MAN...
I should've known though. Forgot that I had it up there, but I should've known she would eventually get in to it so I should've put it up somewhere else.

Anyway, I finally got the stains up but it still smells terrible in the sunroom. Plus I think I broke the shampooer. You press a button on the handle that squirts out the soapy liquid... and I think I broke it. There's still this other button that lets a little more out that still works though. Oops.
Sprayed all spots w/ some lysol and febreeze.... should close the door and open all the windows to let it air out... which I think I will do once I let the dogs back in.

Well that was gross... and other junk...

So last night, I was watching So You Think You Can Dance. Our little french bulldog mutt was laying at my feet like he does.
Everything was normal until I kicked my leg out a little. My big toe his dead center on his butthole.
That's not bad enough though..... I guess it triggered the anal glands or something back there b/c his ass exploded all over my foot *BARF*

Thankfully it didn't stink b/c that would've had me throwing up... but still... YUCK!!!

____

Zoe certainly knows wht she wants... and apparently that's to sleep with at least a dozen toys in her crib. I take some out covertly only for her to grab some other ones to be put back in there.
And lord help us if one of them falls out. She pitches a fit until we come in to get it for her (thankfully that has only happened a couple of times).
Like last night, she had been quiet and I thought she had gone to sleep.
Went outside to help DH w/ the project and we heard her crying about 10min later. Ignored her for 10 more minutes but she was still going so I went to check on her.
As soon as I opened her door, she kept pointing and saying "Min Mouse!" She wanted her Minnie Mouse toy that was on the floor next to her crib. SIGH!
She was as happy as could be after I gave it to her.
Really child? Really??? Lol, oh well. I'm sure this is common with most toddlers. Well, not this particular thing, but just them being so dramatic over everything and wanting things exactly their way.
____

DH took tomorrow off. I don't think we'll be doing anything though b/c there's still A LOT of work to be done on the project. Since this is DH's first time building something, there's a lot of trial and error... mostly error lol... so it's taking a lot longer to build. I think we'll have it done by Saturday though... hopefully.
____

Man... pregnancy is making me STINK.
I'll usually take a shower every other day if I haven't done anything to make me sweat or anything like that.
Well.... I am funking myself out. No extra sweating or anything but my BO is STRONG. BLEH! So glamorous :\

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Hormones are raging!!

Well, I think I'm justified in how ticked off I am about the roofing thing. I think anyone in our situation would be as well.
Sorry for all of the F-bombs in the previous post but... ya know.. sometimes it's the perfect word to use when royally pissed off.

Anyway... that and morning sickness are getting to me today.
Thankfully the morning sickness is still just nausea and gagging but it's been A LOT of gagging and a couple of times when I thought I was going to vomit.
Smells are really starting to set me off today too. I think smells are becoming stronger, but it's not all the time. Just sometimes I'll smell something in particular that I hadn't smelled before. *shrugs*
Also last couple of days I've gagged while brushing my teeth. It's just when I'm about to brush my tongue. Just the thought of doing it brings up the gaggy feeling... then I do it and yep... gag city.

My c-sec scar is itching like crazy right now too. It's just both outer edges but it's driving me batty. Scratch and scratch and scratch and only a few seconds of relief before it itches again.
Maybe b/c the bump is getting bigger? Not sure but wish the itching would stop.

My hair is still falling out like crazy. When the hell is the luxurious pregnancy hair supposed to happen?? Think I remember having this happen w/ Zoe too.

Anyway, blahblahblah... feeling ok though in spite of everything.

Had a bad bleeding dream last night. Dreamt it was Friday night and I started to bleed heavily. Was devastated since ya know we were going to tell everyone the next day and had the Big sis shirt. Just a bad bad dream.
Ok brain, I get it. No more complaining about weird sex dreams... I'd rather have those than m/c dreams.

So F-ing pissed off

So how long ago was that hail storm... 3? months ago?
Yeah our roof still hasn't been repaired.
These fucking crooks are trying to get our insurance to pay 3x the amount that they estimated. Nevermind that when DH talked to them (the roofing people), they agreed that the amount the insurance gave us was enough.
Fucking pieces of shit crooks.

And of course Dh signed a contract with them so we're fucking stuck unless they let us out of it which isn't going to happen. I knew he shouldn't have signed shit but kept my mouth shut. Not that it's his fault, but these pieces of shit companies rely on naive people like us to sign away our rights while they do whatever the fuck they want.
I'm SO fucking pissed off right now. I so want to call them up and bitch them out but I know that won't do anything other than making me feel better.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Almost there

2 years old. Geeze.... it's strange. Feels like Zoe has been with us for forever, but also like time has flown by. Cant believe my little munchkin is turning TWO!
I still haven't taken any photos yet. It's super hot here again so need to remember to do it in early morning.

Zoe's been giving ME an early birthday present by sleeping in until 8:30. LOL
Nice not having to wake up and stay awake at 5:30am.

Zoe is doing well though. Growing how I imagine most kids do. Still can't understand a whole lot of what she says but she is saying more now. I can't give specifics since I can't remember lol.

Her BIG birthday present is nowhere to being done. DH has a lot of work to do on it. I would help more but I'd probably end up chopping a finger off. I have filled in gaps and such and will start painting soon. He's still having guy's night tonight which I think is a mistake. He wants to get this done by Saturday but that's not going to happen if he spends tonight w/ his friends. Whatever though. It's not like they go out drinking.... they're going to a guy's thing at church lol.. so yeah, cant complain too much.

Ordered a few things off of Target too and we won't be getting most of those until next week. Oh well.

Don't think Zoe is ready to potty train yet, but I do need to start actively trying to train her though. At least just get her sitting on her potty and not just treating it as a toy.

Alrighty, I've wasted half the day already and still have a lot of cleaning to do.
All of that vacuuming and shampooing yesterday left my right arm sore as heck today. LOL That's sad.... so out of shape that frickin cleaning gave me sore muscles ROFL

X-Rated

Yeah this post is going to get sexually graphic in a second... so just warning you...

I had the weirdest dream last night. (it's sexually graphic so... if you don't want to read it, then just feel free to skip)...
I dreamt I was a mermaid and had human friends that I would talk to every once in a while.
Well they start trying to explain human sex to me and it goes way over my head when they start talking about penises b/c I guess mermen aren't sporting that certain appendage.

So later in the dream, this giant underwater.. uh... giant... comes crashing in to the mer-village and everyone is freaking out not knowing how to stop him.
Well... I come up with a brilliant idea to unzip this giant's pants (b/c underwater giants still wear zippered pants) to see if it has a schlong and well... start playing with his log and boulders. Then a whole bunch of other merfolk see that it's working to stop the giant from attacking and join in to get this giant's rocks off.

Now gross part coming up.... so... having never seen a penis before and not knowing what ejaculation is... when the giant does... some of the merfolk decide to uhm... sample it and exclaim that it's salty!
AAAAAGGGRRRRH BLLLARRRRGH GAAAAAAAAG

WTH brain!!!???? It was like this when pregnant with Zoe too. Just constant sexual dreams, mostly about blowjobs. WTF??
I could understand if hormones was making me super horny or something but it's the exact opposite.

Monday, August 4, 2014

This is going to be a long day

Just got done vacuuming the living room for a 2nd time and then shampooing the carpet. With trying to get the dogs out of the way and from Zoe throwing all of her toys on to the floor... that sucked. Then, when I was done, extreme nausea. No puking but I was just a step away from it.
Guess that should be a reassurance. Just wish I wasn't so fat so I could see a bump. I know I would have one already. Seeing it would really help.

Yesterday was bleh. Zoe came home from church and from spending the night w/ MiL.
She had on a disposable but I didn't think she's pull it off since she had bloomers on too.
WRONG.
She had been crying so I eventually went and checked on her.
She pooped and decided to try to take her diaper off. It was still stuck on one leg just smearing poo all over her. She was not happy about that and got a bath afterwards.
Of course in the bath, there were poo particles so I drained the water trying to get them all out before washing her and single droplet splashed up and hit me right in the eye.... keep in mind that I wear glasses!! WTF?? It could've hit me anywhere else that was hanging over the bath... ANYWHERE, and this magical asshole droplet of water maneuvered its asshole self around my glasses to splash me dead center in my eyeball.
Awesome :\

I still have the computer room, hallway and our bedroom to vacuum and shampoo. I'm going to have to take A LOT of breaks.
Our carpets are so screwed though. Thought shampooing would help. HAHAHAHA... they still look like total crap. We really need to invest in an area rug to cover up the gross.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

It's like talking to a brick wall...

I know I've ranted about this before but I have to again.

I REALLY hate people who say they don't judge. It's SUCH bullshit. You may not say the thoughts out loud, but everyone judges. EVERYONE and saying you don't is such a load of shit.

I especially enjoy comments that claim to not judge and then in the same breath do exactly that.

There's a thread on a forum I post about the occasional glass of wine while pregnant. An obvious hot topic that's going to get some strong opinions on either side.

Well one miss holier than thou idiot comes riding in on her high horse to proclaim how judgy so many people are and how it's SO wrong and how she doesn't do it. THEN proceeds to explain how she thinks taking zofran is just as or MORE dangerous as drinking alcohol but you don't see her judging others about it. Uhm.... correct me if I'm wrong but even saying that is F-ing implying that your ass is judging those taking it b/c you think it's just as or more dangerous. Oh she may not say it out loud... but obviously she frickin thinks it.

Just UGH, really people. Just own up to being a dick like the rest of us. We're all human, none of us are perfect and we all have some strong opinions about certain things. To pretend you're better than that.. you're only kidding yourself.

So much to do!

So not only do we have family coming over Saturday, DH decided that this was a good week to invite his friends over on Tuesday for their guy's night.
Thanks so much DH! B/c ya know.. I just have SO much energy to spare cleaning up everything.....

UGH....
I just got done cleaning the living room (haven't even dusted yet.....) Mostly just throwing away scraps of paper, putting up Zoe's toys and vacuuming so far.
I put up all the toys she doesn't play with.. (and the annoying ones I don't want her playing with lol).

You do not realize just how messy your house is until you're scrambling to clean it up before company comes over.
Our carpet looks like hell. It's SO disgusting looking. Stains and spots and just overall dirty looking. It's been what.. 6 or 7 years and I still want to kill the IDIOT that picked F-ing off white carpet to put in to a house.
Off white carpet!! WTF are people thinking??? Even if you don't have pets or kids.... this shit is IMPOSSIBLE to keep clean.
DH needs to show me how to use the carpet cleaner. It's getting a shampooing at least twice... it needs it.
The next big project we're going to need to do other than the back porch is replacing the carpet. I know DH would like hardwood floors but that brings problems in and of itself. We'll see when we get to that point. Probably in a couple of years from now.

I'm just so tired and ready to go back to sleep.
____

Still freaking out over my mild symptoms. I'm not even peeing as much as I was. Granted I haven't been drinking enough though.

I have to keep reminding myself that this can be totally normal. I'm not spotting, I'm not cramping... nothing indicates m/c and symptoms being mild or coming and going is normal. It really doesn't help much but I keep telling myself in hopes that it will finally sink in and I'll just relax.

We DTD last night and it didn't have that weird sensation thankfully. No spotting afterwards either.
____

Can't believe we're going to have a TWO year old!! So crazy! Feel so lucky having her in our lives. Sure she makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes but I don't want things any other way.
It's funny that before having her, I couldn't picture myself raising a girl.. and now... I can't picture things any other way.

I need to get some good photos of her this week. My mom keeps bugging me to put her back in to her 1y Korean get up. Not sure it will fit but I'll do it now that the front yard grass is looking nice again lol.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

7w1d

So 7w1d today, or officially, 8w.
Yeah I think 8w is right.... whatever.
One more week until we tell everyone.
Saw my mom yesterday and told her. She was happy and of course had to give me a lecture on having dogs and how we need to get rid of all the pets and blahblahblah. Woman... I love you but... shut up.
It didn't work with Zoe, it's not gonna work with this one.

Anyway.... freaked myself out and started worrying b/c my symptoms have been very light. I have been feeling some nausea, but it has been very very light. More of a bad/sickly kind of feeling. Mild most of the time.
I'm fine now though. I know I'm still pretty early and symptoms can come and go, it's still scary when they do go though.

DH is scrambling to get Zoe's present done. We still need to buy paint for it and then all the small details. I just ordered some stuff from Target for it. Not sure it will get here on time but oh well. Not like she's going to really know it's her birthday and she's not getting it ON that day :P

It's definitely not going to be perfect though. This is DH's first time ever making anything... and it's pretty complicated and I'm sure even someone that has been doing it for a while would have problems. He's doing a good job though and even if it does look a bit wonky... Zoe is going to love it :)

As for symptoms.... I'm still getting that nauseous, but mostly a mildly sick feeling. Sleep is still bad but also better since Zoe has been sleeping in a little later (WOO!).
Bewbs still hurt when pressed but I don't really notice them.
Bloated
Diarrhea & constipation... that's a fun combo
Phlegmy throat that I'm always clearing.
Nose is starting to stuff up at night
Drinking lots of water and have to pee ALL the time. So. Much. PEE.

I think that's about it. I'm sure I'm forgetting something.