Dehydrated??

Ok, so I am a LITTLE dehydrated, but with the way I've been feeling these last couple of days, it's like I haven't had more than a sip of water here and there all day. Phlegmy throat, just an overall awful feeling of dehydration even though I'm drinking. Maybe not enough, but enough to where I shouldn't be feeling this. BLAH!
Other than that I've been feeling ok though... *shrugs*
Guess I'll just have to chug a lot of water today and see if that helps get rid of this blah.

This week is going by pretty fast. Before I knew it yesterday, it was time to go to bed lol. Helps to waste your free time watching Project Runway on hulu LOL.
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I really wish I could get video of Zoe doing her head tilt when she asks something. It's SO stinkin cute and she knows it.... mostly b/c I always squee and tell her how cute she is after she does it ROFL.
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UGH! Going to have to shampoo the carpet today. Came out of the bedroom this morning and all I smelled was piss from the living room. BLEH!
Not cat piss either.... which I have been getting a whiff of from our sunroom now.
These animals man... our house doesn't look like a pigsty, but it certainly smells like one.
Will have to do it when Zoe gets up from her nap that she doesn't want to take lol.
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Feels like I'm forgetting something but oh well... I'll think of it later... maybe :D

Such a drama queen

Man, Zoe is cute as hell but EVERYTHING is a travesty to her ROFL.
I know that's probably just how most, if not all, toddlers are. It's just a bit overwhelming sometimes to have this little person that freaks the F out over everything. Ok so she's not THAT bad but she breaks in to tears at just some ridiculous things :P
For example, I have some of those fuzzy colored pipe cleaners. She had one so I made it in to a heart shape. Well she bends it out of shape even a little... cue the meltdown.

She is a trip though. When she asks for food... I'm not sure what she is saying or what she thinks she's saying. But it sounds like eyes, rice, or something kinda rhymey with that lol. Obviously figured it out what she was wanting but still not really sure why she says it when she's hungry b/c she knows the word Food.

Also when she asks a question, she cocks her head to one side. It's SO stinking cute!

I really need to sit down and play/teach with her more though. I've been slacking a bit in that area of mommyhood. Bad me.
She is in little sponge mode right now and is picking up words and everything so quickly now. She needs me to be there to help her learn.
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Pregnancy so far has been ok. Sciatica pain hasn't been too bad. Still get woken up by the pain, but it's been staying pretty mild.
Still having trouble sleeping. Just can not stay in a comfortable position and it's difficult finding that position.
I passed out last night though thank goodness. Slept great for the first half of the night but at around 3 or 4, I woke up and couldn't get back in to that deep sleep.

Having some diarrhea issues once again. I think it's just what I've been eating though. Lots of spicy food which does not sit well in my stomach. I can't help it though, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE spicy and crave it.

Cravings.... coffee. I had a cup o some instant decaff yesterday and it was awesome :D Let Zoe taste it and she loved it too lol. I only had some Dunkin Donuts sweetened creamer in it. It's barely sweet but was sweet enough that I didn't have to add any sugar or anything.
Gave Zoe the last teaspoon worth of it and she really enjoyed it. DH was kind of mad at me, but it's decaff... I don't see a problem with it. It was coffee, not a beer. lol

I am still shocked at how rounded my top belly is. I am still sporting the oh so lovely B belly, but all of my shirts make it look like I have a nice rounded preggo one so I'm cool with that hehe.
Just... dang... baby isn't even at my belly button yet.
I tried looking for the HB yesterday and couldn't find it. Bleh. May try again in just a few minutes.

And yeah... I think that's all for now. Next appointment is this Friday and I can't wait.
Thankfully these past few weeks haven't been dragging that much. I think the ones leading up to the anatomy scan will though. lol Can't wait to find out what we're having and hope baby is healthy in there :)

Change of plan

I think if this LO is a boy, I want to do a super hero theme. Gotta stick to the nerdy nursery themes :P hehe
May do it for a girl too or just go with the original idea of panda.

But, I wouldn't want to do just the hero emblems. Maybe on the wall the crib would be on, do like a simple city scape and have the bat signal in the clouds or something *shrugs*
I'll look online for some inspiration.
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Discussed names with DH again. He still has no ideas for girl names. He says he has to look through a book again for ideas lol. I told him I still like his suggestion of Penelope. Not sure if he's sold on the name but the more I think about it, the more I just fall in love with it.
It's such a pretty name that you don't hear often and of course has a super cute nickname.
We'll see once we find out what we're having. I'm sure once we get closer to that date he'll start looking more.

Bishop is still a go for a boy. No ideas for a middle name just yet.
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Definitely think my doctor is going to tell me to stop metformin my next appointment. I'm fine with that, but it means I'm not going to be able to eat the junk I've been inhaling lol. That's probably a good thing but I know the weight is going to start piling on if I don't start up with a strict diet again. It's going to be hard, but just have to keep reminding myself that I'm not eating for just myself right now.
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Bought our Halloween costumes today. Or well, bought the rest of DH's and Zoe's and found something for me online :D
DH is Batman, Zoe is Batgirl (although not pink or purple.. may glitter up her mask though), and I finally found a caped Robin shirt w/ a mask for myself :D Oh and I bought myself some Robin socks (with capes heh) to wear too.
Bought the shirt in XL lol. I wear large in mens usually, but not sure how big I'll be by then and I'd rather the shirt be too big rather than too small.
I would love to do this every year. Have our costumes match eachother (in theme) At least until Zoe starts picking out her own costume. So fun!!

Bleh

Well last night wasn't fun.
Woke up multiple times with a terrible stomach ache. We went to this lodge thing for the inlaws. It was pancakes and these spongy sausages. Not what we were hoping for but meh. Afterwards we went to Wendys. I got a crispy chicken sandwich, and we split a 6 piece nuggets.
I think it was the sandwich or maybe just all of it that contributed to the upset stomach.
Just sucked though. I couldn't get back to sleep b/c laying on either side made it worse, and laying on my back kept making my ass and legs hurt, which usually doesn't happen but my body was extra bitchy last night.
Feeling fine now though thankfully. Bloated but ok.
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Yep, at the dinner last night... just proved my point w/ my niece. The entire time she was running around like crazy and not listening to anyone. It would be 10x worse at an apple orchard. I want MiL to go, but ONLY her which isn't going to happen. Oh well.
Guess it will be a nice family trip with just the 3 of us.

Weird

Ok so... I'm having a weird 'craving'.
Ever since DH bought some beer, I've had this really really strong craving to smell it. Just stick my nose in the bottle top and inhale deeply o_O
I absolutely LOATHE beer and do NOT want to drink it... just to be clear... I just want to smell it.
How weird is that?
DH isn't really a beer drinker either. He only bought some b/c it was limited time pumpkin something or other. There are 4 left and I just wish he would drink them already so I'd stop seeing them every time I open the fridge.
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Feeling creative so I'm gonna try my hand at making a giant crochet bear.
First one is going to be a big pink one for Zoe and if it turns out well, will make another (panda) for the new LO :)
Can't wait to find out what we're having so I can start making more stuff w/ the appropriate colors :D

Quick story

So we bought Zoe these foam letters and numbers to play with. She LOVES them and seems to be learning her alphabet really well.
DH and I were eating dinner and watching tv while Zoe played with her letters. She brought over one and said "Z" and yep, it was the Z. So I praise her, tell her good job etc.
She does this a couple more times with different letters and gets it right each time. WOOT! Go Zoe! :D
Well by pure coincidence, she puts down an O w/ a couple of others and I swear it spelled Z-O-E
LOL.
The E was a 6 or a 9 but it was turned so it looked similar to a lower case E.
Like I said, pure coincidence but I thought it was just the coolest thing hehe and Zoe sure got a kick out of DH and I going a bit too crazy over it :P hehe
Wish I had taken a photo of it now but oh well.

Driving me crazy!!

Lol.... love my Zoe, but holy hell she has been driving me crazy these last could of days.
Just not listening, yelling (her and sometimes me), just being a defiant little toddler. And holy crap I'm going to have another in a few short months! lol
For most of the day Zoe really isn't bad, but at around 2 or 3 is when possessed devil child comes out :P
DH asked me yesterday if I wanted to put her in to preschool a couple days a week to give me a break.
I know it would be good for her, but the thought of her around other kids... other SICK kids... no thank you.
I can't protect her for forever, but for now... I'll just have to grit my teeth when she frustrates me b/c I don't want her exposed to all those nasty germs.
One of DH's friends wife teaches a preschool so their baby was in that since day one and has been sick ALL the time b/c of it and then of course they always get sick b/c of it too.
I'll put that off for as long as possible. Probably next year when we hopefully put Zoe in to a martial arts or dance class.
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Butt pain hasn't been that bad these last couple of nights thankfully.
Did toss and turn a lot last night though for some reason. But the nerve pain was ok. It was bad at one point but almost instantly went away when I laid on my back for a little bit.

Forgot to mention a newish symptom. My nipples are getting VERY tender. Almost like a raw feeling. It's the whole areola too. Thankfully I don't notice it that often but if I even gently brush against them it hurts.

Gagging seems to be letting up a little bit. Still doing it after I eat and take my prenatal and fish oil pill. It hasn't been that bad these last couple of days though thankfully.

Uhm I think that's about it as far as all of that.

OH! And I think my bump has gone down just a little bit. Just doesn't look as big to me as it did before. Not sure what's going on there but *shrugs* Not worried about it.
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Dh wants to invite his mom to go apple picking with us. I don't mind at all, BUT it would be on a weekday.... when she is babysitting SiL's girl.
No.... just no. My niece is in full on HORRIBLE threes (well almost 3). She's cute and smart as heck, but being around her makes me appreciate just how well behaved Zoe is... even when she's misbehaving.
Plus... if it was just MiL, then she'd get some much much needed alone time with Zoe.
DH even said that she made a comment one Sunday when the aunt wasn't there at lunch about how 'someone' wasn't there to hog Zoe.
But with the niece there.... one on one time with Zoe would not happen b/c all attention would be on making sure the other one didn't run off.
I feel bad for saying no b/c I do want MiL to come with us, but ONLY her which isn't going to happen :\

Yuck Yuck and OUCH!

So, I've come upon an oh so lovely symptom of... Reflux!
I've had reflux before so it's not new new but it's new for this pregnancy.
It happened twice yesterday.
First time was right after I had eaten my breakfast/lunch. Was just sitting around and all of a sudden it came up and went right in to my sinuses. BLEH! Not a good feeling.
2nd time was at 11:30 last night. I had woken up for some reason, rolled over on to my left side and about 2 minutes later... here it comes again and right in to my sinuses. BLEH!!!

Thankfully that was it but I'm expecting it to happen more often now that it has started.
And again, thankfully last night the sciatica pain wasn't as bad as it has been. Most of the night there was only a really faint dull ache that I could ignore so I didn't sleep as horribly as I had been.
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Mentioned my VBAC idea to DH last night and his comment
"NUH UH! You're not messing up MY vagina!"
ROFL :P
He was obviously joking and said that I could try whatever I wanted. It sounded like he was more open to the idea of a 3rd but I know that can change.
I'm still on the fence about it. I don't think another c-section would be that bad since I know what to expect and there would be no labor beforehand to make the recovery worse. But I dunno... just not sure what I want to do yet. Still plenty of time to think about it and hey.. the decision could be taken out of my hands anyway by.. whatever. Maybe baby will be breech, maybe baby will want to come a little early and fast, etc etc.
We'll see how things go.
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Used the doppler again just a little while ago and I FINALLY found the heartbeat! YAY!!!!!!!
I did what I had done last time. went down close to my bikini line and tilted the probe thing upwards towards my belly button. Found the placenta, looked maybe 2 more minutes and there it was. Our little choo choo train. Nice and steady heartbeat just staying there.
OH and, I felt movement!!! It was really quick and faint but I know it was movement b/c I heard it on the doppler at the same time I felt it. Must've been just a tiny kick or jab or something b/c it felt like a really light gurgly feeling. So happy I got to feel it though and SO frickin happy I finally found the HB again :D

UGH

Just caught the puppy chomping on what I thought was a dead bird. When I got him away from it... nope, the poor thing was still alive. Only barely so though.
Under no illusions that dogs and cats don't do this kind of stuff, but still... BLEH and poor bird :(
No idea how the hell he got it. Maybe it was already dying or a young bird (didn't look young though). Thankfully it died a few minutes after I scooped it up (w/ paper towels). Didn't want it to die cold outside or anything. Feel terrible for the little birdy and just disgusted by the dog.
Again, I know our pets will do this but... it's still gross.

Go away butt pain!!!

Holy crap it's getting worse! Thankfully still mild during the day but at night... it suuuuuuuuuucks.
It's like now that I know what it probably is, it decided to start getting worse *cry*

I woke up so many times last night b/c my ass was hurting and I could not find a comfortable position that relieved the pain. It's not that it's a super bad pain, but it's there and persistent and SO incredibly uncomfortable.

I can imagine this only getting worse as baby and myself get bigger. Oh well. I'll enjoy what I can I guess heh.
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The temps outside have been SOOOOOO stinkin nice. Upper 70's and just UGH so awesome. I turned the AC off yesterday and opened the windows. NICE! Yay for a lower electric bill! hehe
Hopefully it doesn't decide to get back up in to the 90's again.
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Taking puppy and our cat to the vet next Friday after my appointment.
The cat has not been using his litterbox at all. We think his paws have been hurting him a bit more than they were. We want to put him on a much higher dose of steroids to see if it helps with his paws.
And the puppy needs his shots plus we can get a time on when we can get him fixed AND get an opinion on his weird leg/paw.
It doesn't look as bad now but you can def tell that it's not right either b/c it bows out a lot. He gets around fine though and loves trying to play with the other dogs lol.

Yay DH!

I pointed out that one of his friends seems to always get time off to go do stuff with his family... like apple picking.
It wasn't a dig at DH or anything, just me being a little jealous lol.
And I didn't know this but our concert is on the 7th which is a Tuesday. DH took off work until the next Tuesday! WOO :D
AND.... the state fair is going to open on the 8th! Double WOO WOO! OMG I've been dying for some fair junk food lol.

And he said we could go apple picking during his time off too. YAY! Going to be such a nice week :)

Also, I told DH that I wanted to do a lot of special stuff with Zoe before baby arrives... there's this thing called Boo at the Zoo that I want to take her to. Just want this time we have alone with her to be special for her. She won't remember it, but through pictures at least she'll see everything.
That starts on Oct 17th. Can't wait for Halloween. On a Friday this year so hopefully a lot more people will give out candy. I think we're going to get a lot more trick or treaters too. We'll be walking around w/ Zoe and probably our nieces. Love it though. Such a fun holiday.
I also wouldn't mind taking Zoe to a terror trail. Or well... one aimed for children so... not so terror trail :P lol

Just can't wait. These last few months of the year are so much fun w/ the holidays and everything that happens.

Sciatic pain?

I'm not sure what I'm feeling.
It's been happening off an on for a few days now.
It's like whatever joint that's behind my left butt cheek aches. It's like I've sat down on a hard surface for too long so it's now sore.

It gets worse in the middle of the night if I lay on either side for too long. Usually laying on my right side makes it hurt worse and makes it almost impossible to get comfortable again b/c the aching doesn't really let up. Or it will for a minute and will start up again.

Does that sound like sciatic pain or something else?

Man.... pregnant women are so touchy...

Who knew right?? :P lol

Seriously though, after going to some of these forums... some women WAY overreact to some situations.
Especially former skinny girls who now have people JOKING about their weight. Holy shit that brings out the hormonal overreactions.

I know I've had my moments too though... all you have to do is look at my ranty bitch threads ROFL. ;)

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About to go see if I can find the heartbeat again. Look a bit longer and slower this time. Will be back in a few minutes!!!!

... few minutes later...

Alrighty, no heartbeat still, but after searching a bit and having to tilt the sensor upwards towards my belly button from my bikini line... I could hear the swooshing or the placenta or cord. Only faintly though so yeah, my layer of fat and I'm sure the placenta are hindering efforts to hear anything.
Kind of hoping m doctor won't be able to hear anything at my appointment so they'll do a quick ultrasound :P lol

Was that the baby?

So last night, DH and I were in bed watching tv. I kind of half turned my upper body and I swear I felt what felt like 2 kicks and a baby roll.
It could've been gas or something intestinal though b/c about 30min later my stomach got really upset and I just felt like BLAH for a while.
I think I'm leaning more towards intestinal even though I don't remember ever feeling that before. It was just such a strong kick/rolling feeling though that it's hard to believe that it was baby this early.


I just tried doppler again. I couldn't even find the placenta. WTF? The placenta should be the one thing I can pick up since it's right up front. I must not have been looking in the right place. I would've searched longer but pressing down a bit hard on the fat doesn't feel good.
My next appointment is next Friday so hopefully the doctor has more luck hearing something.
It worries me a little but not a lot. I may try again later if I remember.

A good day :)

Today ended up being pretty nice.
Got a cake from Publix. Nothing special, just one of their premade ones. Got a strawberry one, but it's a very light flavor. It's pretty good, but I can't eat a lot of it.

We picked Zoe up at 3. Wish it had been a little sooner so she could've gotten a nap in but oh well. MiL and the aunt spoiled her rotten today buying her a bunch of toys from Goodwill heh.
Is it sad that I still miss her terribly when she's gone and worry constantly? Not sure if that makes me a good mom or just a little pathetic..... maybe a little of both? :P heh

Went out to a steak place for dinner. Ate 2 bites of the steak before I had to stop. Morning sickness has been acting up since about noon today. Everything is setting it off.
For dinner I felt ok... had a yummy salad, some cheese fries... and by the time the steak came out... I was done. The heaviness/fattiness of the steak would've 100% made me throw up if I had tried to eat more of it.
I ate the mashed potatoes since those don't reheat well :P I'll have a great lunch for tomorrow though heh.

We headed to one of those temporary Halloween stores afterwards and Zoe was NOT liking that at all. She's definitely becoming more aware of "scary" things. Kind of sucks b/c I don't want her scared of it, but right now she is. DH showed her something... it was this evil baby/doll thing and all she could say was "No no no no..." it was adorable and sad lol.
We couldn't find the child size batman mask though. Oh well... maybe some place like Party City will have one. May have to order one off the net if not.

Anyway, after that, we came home, Zoe went to bed and yeah.. just been a day of relaxing really which is what I was hoping for :)

35

I am now officially in the "advanced maternal age" category.  Yeesh. 35?? Really?? 35 is still so young. Well, I guess back in the day 35 was considered old since most of us now aren't popping kids out as soon as we get our periods.

35 though.... WOW.

Anywho, just sitting here alone. DH's aunt took Zoe last night. Really didn't want her spending the night but whatever. We'll be getting her back later today so we can all spend time together.
DH is off doing his helpful church thing.
And yeah.... I'm just sitting here screwing around doing a whole lot of nothing :D
So not a bad way to start off a birthday hehe

Alrighty, gonna go make me some breakfast and waste the morning away watching House on netflix.

I think....

I'm feeling really really faint fluttery movement. I only notice it at night when going to bed though.
It's in the right place and it's SUPER DUPER light. Like fluttery fizzy bubbles. *shrugs*
Could be... could just be gas too.

This pregnancy has brought along a lot of discomfort. Kept waking last night to my hip? area aching and needing to change positions. Then I'd start getting this weird ache in my leg.
And even sitting here right now is making my hips and lower back ache a bit. I don't remember feeling this way this soon with Zoe. Oh I def did in 3rd tri, but barely in 2nd? No.
Oh well... it's not that bad. Uncomfortable but not too bad.

And I don't know what my obsession is with maternity clothes this time. I had almost no interest with the first one but this time? I want some. I'll probably end up buying a couple pairs of pants for when it's cold but that will be it. Just too expensive for something I'll not continue to wear after having the baby (and after everything shrinks back down some.. so a few months after that too).

So what can I complain about today...

HA!  really do complain a whole lot, but again, this is the only place I can really get out what I want to say.

So the cat has been pissing on the carpet. AWESOME :\
Thankfully it doesn't stink which is kind of strange but whatever, not going to complain about lack of cat pee smell.
Fucking cat though.... Yes, I feel bad that his paws hurt him but damn... not having a pissy house would be nice too.
DH put a puppy pad in the spot where he's been going and thankfully, he used it. Just hope that continues and he won't go find another spot to soil. :\

And the puppy... only way I've been keeping him from still peeing and pooping all over the place is to leave him outside for most of the day. I hate doing it, but right now he's shown no interest in house breaking. He'll still come inside from being out back and will pee or poo somewhere.
Thankfully it's been really nice and cool outside though so the dogs don't seem to mind.

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The roofing thing... ugh. So turns out it was the insurance and probably the roofing company as well. The 2 that have come out this week have both said they don't understand what the problem is. That we got back a good amount from insurance and things should've been able to get done. They wouldn't make a huge profit or anything from it though.
We are still waiting for the 2nd company to get back in touch with us. They're supposed to be calling our insurance. Not sure why, probably to see if they can squeeze out anymore money from them. We'll see what happens.

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Still on the search for some cute maternity clothes. Oldnavy seems to be having a sale but I'm not sure if it's online only. Might go to the store tomorrow, but, meh, we'll see how I'm feeling.

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Zoe is SO hard headed. Tell her to pick up something and she suddenly goes deaf :\
She is something though. Just full of energy and excitement. I can see her being the head honcho of some big company when she's older b/c she sure does enjoy being bossy LOL. Would love it if she went in to something engineering though. I have no idea why... just seems like it would be really useful in the future to have that interest/skill/talent.
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Wearing one of my nursing bras right now. The one regular bra that is comfortable is dirty and my other normal bras are really frickin uncomfortable so I busted out a nursing bra and... it's so nice :D
My boobs have definitely gotten bigger. I knew that before but putting one of these on confirmed it.
They haven't gone up a size, but they're a lot fuller than they were and fill out the bra a lot better.

Really hoping this baby is either a good latcher or that I'll be able to pump more. UGH pumping though. All that cleaning and being hooked up to the pump. BLEH!
I'll do it though... at least to save a little money before we have to go to formula lol.
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Birthday is Saturday. Not going to be able to relax that morning. DH has some church volunteer thing he's doing (helping to build a ramp for a disabled guy). That's cool... I'll just veg out once he gets home. heh
We're counting the concert tickets as birthday presents. Mine was the Linkin Park ones.. his is going to be the one in Oct (A day to Remember). I still asked him to get me a little something though :P
The organic grocery store we get water from has this delicious smelling lotion that I wanted. Cost $10 so not THAT bad. It's Wild blackberry scented and MAN it smells so good and he got it for me yesterday (after I reminded him heh).
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And finally b/c I don't want this to end up too long.
I really want to go all out for Christmas this year for Zoe. Since it's going to be the last one with just her... I want to make it special. Or well... just special with lots of presents heh.
She LOVES her Little People super hero figures so we're thinking of getting her the princess castle. Can't remember who it comes with.. maybe Cinderella and one other Disney princess. I'd like to get her a giant stuffed animal that can be from Santa and yeah... not sure what else other than that heh.
We really need to start buying things now though. We always wait to buy ALL the Christmas presents at the same time and end up spending way too much in one go. Spreading it out would be much more ideal.

Woot! Time to spend more money!

Well, that's if I can find a website with cute cheap maternity graphic tees. Wearing the one that I bought at the beginning of the month (finally got it a few days ago), and BOY is it comfy! And I just love the way it hugs the belly but still plenty loose for more room to grow.
I want to buy more but can only ever find cheesy maternity graphic tees. I don't mind those but it's not my taste.
The one I have says "Zombies eat brains. Don't worry, You're safe." :P
If I could find some with actual graphics on them and not just words, that would be great. Just b/c I'm pregnant doesn't mean I don't want to get my geek on!

EDIT:

Nevermind on spending more money. I can't find decent looking and AFFORDABLE t-shirts anywhere.
It's like with baby stuff, you put baby in front of it and have to tack on an extra 10-20 dollars.
Frickin maternity clothes are too damn expensive. Come on... $30 for a flippin t-shirt??? I don't F-ing think so.

Seriously considering starting SOMETHING to make women size and maternity size graphic t-shirts. I can't be the only nerdy woman that struggles to find those things in their size that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. Maybe make an etsy shop. We'll see. I have all of these grand ideas and I always end up too lazy to do them lol. I still need to do the felt books idea that I have.

Keep your Business of Being Born bullshit "research" to yourself!!!

So as I've said, I'm a bit obsessed with watching Labor and Delivery videos right now. I just think it's interesting hearing different experiences no matter what they are. Now I do usually avoid the ones that proclaim that they did it med/naturally b/c usually from the ones I've watched before, they're deep deep DEEEEEP in to the woo bullshit that I just don't want to have to listen to.
I am NOT against either one of those. If you want to go med free... go for it girl!
Just don't start spouting off stupid "facts" about how you don't want a drugged baby or some other stupid thing you read on some NCB-fanatic website. Or how women who have c-sections didn't REALLY give birth, they were birth raped, or some other stupid bullshit.

So anyway, watched a really pleasant L&D story (the woman was pleasant) where ya know, things went a bit wrong and the woman ended up having a c-section b/c her baby wasn't moving down at all and things weren't progressing after 16hours after being induced. They were afraid her baby was going to be really big so eventually her doctor suggested a c-section.
Everything was fine, baby wasn't super huge or anything.... think she said 8 and a half pounds, but baby was in a weird position and would not have descended if they had decided to wait.
The woman in the video obviously wasn't hoping for the c-sec but was fine with the decision after the fact since her baby and herself were fine.

And then that's where I made the mistake of reading the comments. There is ALWAYS someone in the comments that MUST preach about doing it natural (if the woman had an epidural), or MUST preach about how the c-section wasn't necessary b/c ya know, apparently they were there and know more than doctors do! And of course, their favorite lines are.... "You need to do your research and watch The Business of Being Born!!!"
Really.... that's considered research?? Well gosh darn, I guess I'll just listen to every D-list celebrity now about their opinions on every medical issue out there. Screw the doctors who have medical training and lots and lots of experience dealing with every situation under the sun!

Oh and another line they really like to say on forums when women ask about elective c-sections.... "Go watch a c-section video and you'll change your mind."
Really? I don't think ANY surgery is going to be a fun watch and I don't think most women kid themselves in to thinking that it's going to look like puppies licking kittens. Hell, I could tell women to go watch a vaginal delivery. That's not exactly a great watch either IMO lol ;)


Anyway, I know I complain about this... A LOT. It just bugs the hell out of me.

Overall... not bad

Other than the throwing up earlier, and this constant phlegmy feeling in the back of my throat... AND this headache I feel coming on... today hasn't been all that bad.
 Ok that makes it sound like it has but, nah.. not really.

That throwing up though HURT like hell. The last heave that I did made my entire chest and upper back get this really strange painful feeling. Like all the nerve endings were set on fire. It was so weird and sucked balls. *shrugs*

Anywho... just realizing how lucky we've been with Zoe and her sleeping. She's always been a really good sleeper. Sure, she's had some bad days before, but overall... we really can't complain.
Nowadays, so long as she has all of the specific toys she wants in her crib with her, she'll settle down with not even a whimper. Naps are hit or miss, but even when she doesn't sleep, she'll hang out in her crib and play for a little while.

Just have a bad feeling that this new LO is going to be a PITA sleeper LOL. I hope not... gosh I hope not for all of our sanity, but we'll see.
Not sure how we'll end up doing cry it out since the new nursery will be next to Zoe's room (bathroom seperates the rooms). Not going to be fun at all. I'll just hope that this baby will be an even better sleeper and we won't have to do any kind of CIO method LOL.... a girl can fantasize. :P

Bleh!

So I just barfed up half of my breakfast.
I usually gag after eating it. I don't overeat or anything, it's just one of those things.
Well this time, the gagging wouldn't stop and sure enough.... BARF. Couldn't even make it to the toilet or sink so had to do it in to the bowl I had just eaten from. BLEH

Throwing up sucks! So glad that my morning sickness isn't bad enough to throw up the other 99% of the time.

Well, that didn't go as I had hoped

So I talked to DH last night about the possibility of having more kids.
His response...... was disappointing.
He said that if we have another girl, then we're done having kids b/c he doesn't want to risk having a 3rd girl. WTF? He tried to give some lame ass excuse of not wanting to deal with 3 teenage girls and all that mess and I had to remind him that uhm... teen boys aren't exactly always sunshine.
He said that if we have a boy, then MAYBE we could try again.... but that's a big maybe.
Just ugh... so disappointed with his attitude. If it was just a "Oh I just don't want to have a 3rd. It will be too expensive... etc" that would've sucked too but I would've at least understood that, but to say not wanting the possibility of having a 3rd girl? WTF kind of sexist answer is that, and yes I did say that to him.
So yeah.... there ya go.
I'll probably bring this up with him again, especially if this does end up being another girl, but with his attitude.... looks like this will be our last.

UGH I just don't get it. He adores DD and he's not some weird macho sexist guy at all, so his response just totally caught me off guard and like I said just made me really disappointed in him.

Debating

So, when I got pregnant, I was pretty sure I'd just go in for a repeat c-sec. Now.... eh, I'm not sure.
I would really like to have another baby after this one if we're lucky enough and I know with multiple c-secs, especially ones spaced pretty close together like ours would be could be problematic.

So yeah, now I'm debating if trying for a VBAC would be the way to go. I'll have to talk to DH first. Every time I've brought up wanting 1 more after this, he always gives me a look lol. It's a "Are you crazy??" joking type of look and he's never said no... so I think that if we agree that we might have another.... I may try for the VBAC. Of course this may all change a week from now and I may go back to just wanting the repeat lol.
I dunno... it's all still up in the air. I'll talk to DH and at my next appointment talk to my doctor about it too.
____

So apparently it wasn't the roofing company screwing us over. Nope... it's our insurance company being cheap ass fuckers.
Apparently our insurance company (Farm Bureau) is trying to pay out as little as they possibly can for everyone's roofing/siding damage.
Why the roofing people couldn't tell us this shit a month ago though.... ugh.
So now we have 2 options.
1, the roofing company will hire a lawyer to basically try to get the insurance company to pay the extra $$ that they're requesting. From what they said, the usually pay up, but sometimes will take it to court.
2, the roofing company will null our contract, give us back the money we gave them and then we find someone else that can fix the roof/siding for the amount the insurance will give us. BUT the problem is that some of the places that will do it for their price may do a shit job and could devalue our house b/c of it. OR come to find out they'll need more $$ and we'll be in this same situation all over again.

Just so pissed off at everyone right now b/c of this crap. Insurance company for being a bunch of tight-wad jackasses
Roofing company for not dealing with this shit sooner.
And DH for not fucking calling either one of them more often to get answers sooner. Ok not really pissed off at DH, just annoyed with him.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.....

Anyway, we're having a different roofing company come out to check the roof today to see what they say. They told DH that they've had problems w/ Farm Bureau with this as well, but they'll see what they could possibly do. They've done a lot of houses in our neighborhood so... I dunno... we'll see I guess.

Well that was expensive

Damn you Target for having cute crap that we want!!! *shakes fist*

So, they have the little Batman dress that I wanted to get Zoe last year but they sold out of.
Well they had them again and we finally went back today to get one since they're not selling them online. Had to get a 3T one though AND it was frickin $18. UUUUUUGH.
That's a lot of money for something she'll be outgrowing in a few months :\
But it's super cute and damnit, I'm going to put her in that dress as much as possible lol.
It's going to be part of her Halloween costume too :D Going to get her a child size batman face mask that she won't wear, put her hair in pigtails and she'll go around and be the cutest Batman out there.
Plus DH bought himself a Batman shit that has a cape attached to it to wear with her hehe. It's so cute and I can't wait!
Wish they had a Robin shirt. How adorable would that have been? Her as Batman and DH as her sidekick :D

Anywho.... off to bed I go! Hopefully to have a better night sleep than I've been getting.

I was wrong

I just busted out the doppler for a second.
I was wrong. Baby is still just an inch above my c-sec scar. Well, I didn't actually hear the baby but I heard the placenta. So what I felt the other day must've just been bloat or something.
I'm still not peeing as much though which I'm happy about so I think it has moved up a little, just not as much as I thought.

I really dislike....

Forum police.
You know the types... the ones that have to post threads on how they don't like soandso behavior and then try to dictate how everyone is supposed to post.
Bitches please....
You're on a forum full of hormonal pregnant women that aren't always going to agree with eachother and will want to express their own opinions on whatever subject matter.
To expect everyone to be all sunshine and rainbows is absolutely ridiculous.
I'm not saying people should just be allowed to cuss everyone out or something, but the place I go to, with the sheer amount of people that are on there... I'm amazed there aren't more negative posts.

In fact, the number of negative posts that I do see are very few and far between unless it's on a hot button topic like vaccines, circumcising, etc. Or if someone creates a thread just being plain stupid like someone posting a topic complaining about not wanting a big belly or wanting to get fat and saying she's not going to gain ANY weight other than baby. The first couple of posts on that thread were actually trying to be helpful and supportive to her. Giving her advice on eating well, continuing exercise etc.... and then she had to come back and attack the supportive people like a psycho, so she got her ass handed to her after that.

Anyway... just a minor annoyance really. I'll post how I want to within reason even if it is something negative.

So hot

So DH got home around 2 and we left soon after to go to that birthday party. Again, I'm not sure why we went. Hell, they're DH's family and even he only knew who maybe half of the people were lol.
The food was good though... especially the pickles. lol
It was just regular ole jarred pickles you buy at the store but holy shit they were delicious.
Yes, I've become the stereotypical pregnant woman. I'm not dipping a pickle in to some icecream or some nasty crap like that, but pickles are F-ing delicious and I can't get enough of them. Tomorrow, I'm buying more so I can gorge on them!! I wish they still sold these awesome jalapeno spicy regular pickles. I remember they came out when I was a child and I F-ing LOVED them. I could only eat half at a time b/c they were so spicy but man, I would tear those things up now.

This pregnancy has been so different when it comes to cravings. Seriously, every time some kind of food pops in to my head, the next words out of my mouth are "*soandsofood* sounds really good right now." It doesn't matter if I've already eaten. Almost everything sounds good lol.

Oh the party wasn't terrible, but it was hot as hell. They used DH's uncle's work place to hold it at b/c it's basically just a big warehouse. Lots of room, but absolutely no central air or even a little window AC unit. Muggy, humid and hard to breathe. BLEH.
____

SiL wants Zoe to spend the night for their DD's birthday. She's going to have a sleep over. I know Zoe's older cousins will be there, but... I hesitate to let Zoe stay.
Oh she would absolutely LOVE it.. it's just the sleep issue. She has enough trouble sleeping over at MiL's or aunt's house. Her w/ her little cousins to play with?? Yikes.
But hey... if SiL and her husband want to deal with it... whatever. Zoe will just zonk out when she gets home as she usually does.
Anyway, if it does happen, it will be good for Zoe to hang out with other kids and play.

Adjusted time 14w :D

Yeah, I still feel like I'm cheating by using my LMP time but oh well :P

Today is going to be rough. I'm not having gagging fits but I am having an overall nauseous BLAH feeling today.
Ate some toast w/ peanut butter and jelly and it is not sitting right with me at all. Feels like indigestion with slight heartburn.
Also feels like I'm dehydrated which is not helping anything.

Also doesn't help that DH made plans to go shooting with his friends today. Now I don't really mind it, but with the way I'm feeling, it would be nice to have him here to watch Zoe so I could relax and do nothing lol.
Plus I think we have some birthday party to go to. For who? I have no idea. Some distant relative. But his family F-ing loves social get togethers and jump at the opportunity to go to everything so we'll probably end up going when he gets back. Maybe I can use my pregnancy and feeling sick as an excuse to leave early lol.

Hopefully this sicky feeling goes away.

I really wish this aching would go away. Holy crap it sucks. It's all up in my lower back, radiates down to my hips and covers my lower abdomen. It's worse if I'm sitting in my computer chair (it's ok right now but will get worse as the day goes on) or sitting in the car. And trying to sleep w/ the ache SUCKS. It takes me forever to find a comfortable position. Just can't believe all of this is starting so soon. I didn't feel this bad until 3rd tri the first time around LOL.
Oh well... it all comes with the territory and while I'll complain, I'm stll thrilled to be pregnant.
____

MiL brought up SiL last night. I asked if she knew if the IUI worked yet and nope... not yet. She should know soon though. It's been 2 weeks since MiL told me about it unless she got her information wrong.
I really hope it works for her.

Poor DH

He's gaining weight b/c he has no self control and I have no self control right now when it comes to wanting junk food and wanting super carby food (b/c it's easy mainly).

He's so unhappy that he's gaining weight. I'm going to try a lot harder starting next week to keep the junky foods down to a bare minimum. I don't want him to be unhappy with his body.
____

Oh, here's one of the u/s photos.
It looks like it's a profile, but it's not. Just a really bad frontal shot of the face/head.

See why I didn't bother posting anything? heh The other photo she gave us is worse than this one.
Oh well..
____

I love reading Scary Mommy confessions but DAMN there are a lot of people cheating on their husbands. I just don't understand that.
And a TON of women who hate being mothers. I kinda sorta get that. I'm not one of them, but the idea of kids is A LOT easier than actually having to take care of one lol. I just hope those women are good at faking it b/c kids are good at picking up on everything.

Woot maybe!

I was achy all day yesterday and MAYBE b/c baby/uterus has moved up again.
Last night, I didn't get up once to pee and I drank 2/3 of a glass of water before bed too. I usually drink that much b/c I tend to wake up needing to pee AND feeling dehydrated so it helps w/ the dehydrated part.
But still, not waking up to pee is huge :D heh
I laid in bed for a little bit this morning and there is def a distinct harder bump that is right below my belly button now (not just squishy fat :P hehe). YAY :D So happy. Still achy but happy hehe. Things are moving so slow, but quick. I can't wait until I start feeling movement. I know it will be a while but it's going to be awesome none the less.

Hopefully today is less bitchy. I'll try harder not to let things bother me today.

Ragey hormones are on full drive today

I have gone OFF on one of our dogs today and man..... it's not pretty. First time was for eating the puppy's food and the next was for snatching food from Zoe. Eating pups food is meh, but snatching is something I will not tolerate b/c it means the dog thinks it has no boundaries and is allowed to do that shit... nevermind the possibility of fingers being bitten in the process.
Our dogs are usually really well behaved other than barking so this was a shock when it happened.
I grew some horns and was about to reign down hellfire on that dog though. Holy crap I'm still so pissed off about it.

And like when I was pregnant with Zoe, I'm a bit obsessed with Labor and delivery stories/videos.
I watched one today. It was just a woman pushing. From reading a comment she posted, she had an epidural but they turned it off/removed it when it came time to push so she was in some obvious pain but overall seemed to do really well.
She had a 9+ pound baby. A BIG ass baby.
Well anyway... of course some fucking stupid ass judgmental woo-fanatic bitch comes along telling her that
"Everything about this was horrible!" Then proceeds to list all the reasons like... the doctor tugging and turning the baby.
Uh... no fucking shit the doctor was doing that. It was pretty obvious that the doctor was trying to get a BIG ASS BABY out and had to turn, tug to achieve that.

And how it was SO TERRIBLE how the baby wasn't put directly on to momma's chest for skin to skin time.
Nevermind that the baby wasn't crying and the doctor was suctioning out all of the gunk so the baby could breath. But ya know, ignore that b/c skin to skin is so much more important than breathing!

And then how it was terrible how they instantly cut the cord. If you want to delay cord clamping/cutting, whatever.. but obviously these people in the video didn't want that so didn't have it done. But OMG how horrible and terrible that it wasn't done!

THEN this stupid bitch tells them that they "Need to do their research" and then put some stupid shit about meaning that in the best way possible as if everything she just said wasn't shitting all over these people's experience.

So of course me being mega bitchy today I couldn't just sit back and read that crap without commenting on it and calling her out on her stupid ass.
Just so tired of reading bullshit like that. Be WOO all you want, but don't start dictating how HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TRAGIC, another person's labor is b/c they didn't do it the WOO way.

GAG GAG GAG!!!!

Holy crap, I just had to deal with the nastiest poop and poop incident EVER.
It's too gross not to share.

So Zoe came up to me and I got a whiff of the poo. Checked and yep, it's up her buttcrack and got on to my finger when I checked.
Went and washed my hands really quick before changing her.
Went to change her and HOLY SHIT CHILD, WTF did she eat???
ALL over the place in her diaper. I am shocked it wasn't coming out of it, that's how much there was. I can't believe that much poo was in such a tiny body.
So cue the gagging fits b/c I still can't handle gross things.
Thankfully it did ease up some so it wasn't me constantly gagging and peeing myself a little each time (thanks panty liners!) once I started getting used to the smell.
I get her cleaned and in to a fresh diaper.
Go to take the insert out of her diaper so I can spray it and.... a giant chunk of turd fell in to her dirty diaper bin.... that is almost full..... and of course it had to fall right in to a corner that was a little open so it fell deep in to it.
I hurry to the bathroom, set the dirty diaper down and grab some toilet paper to go pick up the turd.
Cue gagging fit again. I tried picking it up but I ended up pushing it down a bit more b/c I couldn't feel it through the TP.
I say screw it and go to spray out her diaper. As I'm spraying... I knew what I to be done. I finish up with that, go put her sprayed diaper in to the bin and.... reach down to pick up the fallen mushy turd with my bare hand. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

I think I've washed my hands about a dozen times now.
GROSS GROSS GROSS
Downfalls of cloth diapering...... YUCK.

Man...

Morning sickness has not wanted to let up today. Just a constant feeling of nausea and everything is making me gag. It was hot in my car when I was putting Zoe in to her seat and that had me gagging like crazy. EESH....
Whatever happened to symptoms easing up in 2nd tri. Geeze.

Oh and before I forget AGAIN... here's the photo I posted on FB when we finally announced to everyone that we're expecting again.
I just put
Little brother or sister coming in March 2015

Getting her to smile AND hold up the u/s photo somewhat decently was a challenge lol. Toddlers man.... having to be their own person... sigh... ;)
Still bummed that the u/s photos weren't better :( If I remember I'll post up the 2 that we got tomorrow. There's really not much to see :(

Totally cheating

So yeah, now that LO is measuring by LMP..... I feel like I'm totally cheating by using that date now. I just cheated my way to the 2nd trimester! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Change in the reward

So after watching a reality competition show on Netflix called Ink Master.... I think I'm changing my ultimate (or at least Christmas) weight loss goal reward.
I want another tattoo. I'd have to actually come up with something I wanted but I've been wanting another for a while now and after watching that show... it REALLY made me want another.
I would love to get a sleeve done (eventually) so the start of one sounds like a good plan to me.
That would be a lot of money though so gotta start putting a little bit of money away to save for it :D
Just a little bit here and there though. Maybe 20 every other week, if that.
*nodnod*
I may change my mind by then though and just use the money for something else :P hehe
____

UGH this puppy is pissing me off and I have to keep reminding myself to be patient.
Yesterday, he was outside for a good hour (it was nice and cool and they weren't begging to come in or anything). I let the dogs in eventually and what does the pup do?? Not even inside 5 minutes and he shits and pisses on the floor.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
So fricking frustrated with this dog... but like I said, I keep reminding myself to just be patient. He's still a really young puppy and will HOPEFULLY get house broken.

12w appointment

Sorry I didn't post earlier. Just been battling a headache that does not want to go away all day long.

Anywho, my appointment went well. WOO :D
Baby was there and growing well. My fat fold did hinder the u/s a bit, but it was mostly to just make sure baby was ok so they didn't need to see it really well or anything. Oh well.
But the LO was wiggling all around. Heartbeat was 150 and found out that I have an anterior placenta. Kind of bummed about that since it means delayed feeling of movement, but so long as baby is healthy, later is better than never.
Did see a shot of the mouth moving and the tech said that he/she was most likely licking the placenta LOL. Ew.... guess LOs have to entertain themselves somehow heh.

Had the usual stuff happen, urine sample (everything came back fine), BP taken... white coat syndrome as usual lol, and my weight which was down from the last time.

OH and LO was measuring at exactly my LMP 13w3d so I guess I'll just go by that now since it's easier to just track one date lol.

Where she found the head (way over to the right) surprised me. Maybe that's another reason why I wasn't hearing anything on doppler since I kept checking middle and left. The doppler is still going to be put up for a couple of weeks though. Don't need anymore stressing out.

So glad everything is ok though. SOSOSOSO happy everything is ok as far as we know.

Oh and found out the 16w gender scan costs $75 O_O Uhm... we're just going to wait for the 20w one (which is Oct 27th). 75 is just insanely high to me. The u/s tech even said she thought the price was ridiculous. Oh well though, I'm sure plenty of couples get it so not too high for some.

It's the final countdown!!!

If you sang that title... props to you ;)

My appointment is 8:30 tomorrow and I'm so fracking nervous and excited!! Nervous for obvious reasons, but I'm hoping everything is still ok in there. If all is well, I just hope we get some good photos. Hate this big ole fat pack.
I swear I'm going to start putting money away for future liposuction. lol I keep 'jokingly' telling DH that I want to get it sucked out, but he always comes back with "just exercise". Yeah right. This giant fanny pack is not going to go away with exercise & diet. I think I'd be skinny w/ this ugly thing attached to me.
I'll try my best though..
Again if all goes well, this LO will be born in March and I'm going to try for my Christmas weight loss goal again. It's going to be a lot harder to exercise looking after 2, so will have to be mostly through diet, but by 2015 Christmas, I want to be at least 50lbs lighter. That would make me at around the 160lb (give or take) mark. I think that could be very doable so long as I don't cheat TOO many times, which will be difficult. I don't want it to be like after giving birth to Zoe. Don't want my weight to go crazy b/c I'm eating like shit. I'm sure not being on metformin again didn't help either.
Thankfully I'll have some refills left by the time baby is born. May have to go to a GP to keep me on metformin after giving birth if my OB doesn't want me back on it or thinks it's unnecessary until we were ttc again like she did last time *grumble*
I just don't get that. Oh you have insulin resistance. Oh pfft, medicating for it doesn't matter unless you're TTC..... wha???

Anywho, lost my train of thought.... FX for a good update w/ cute u/s pics tomorrow!

WTF maternity clothes??

So I'm just browsing around at maternity clothes and... why the hell are they all horizontal stripes??? It's either that or solid color. There's rarely an inbetween... and if there is something different, it's usually expensive.
Why??? Nothing against stripes but damn... come on. Is there not enough other fabric prints out there to make maternity close with? How about some paisley for crying out loud?
I must not be looking in the right places I guess lol.
Oh wait, just found some really cute tops on zulily AND..... they don't come in XL size..... awesome :\

MAN! Why did you tell me that??

So, here I am worrying b/c of not being able to find the heartbeat and here comes DH last night before bed to tell me about a former technician that used to work where he does.
How she got pregnant, everything was fine until 26w. Something was wrong with her baby's heart and they had to induce her. He was kind of vague on the details b/c he didn't know himself.
Anyway, the poor baby didn't make it and UGH.... really DH?
I feel really bad for this woman that I didn't know. I even teared up a little thinking about the pain, sorrow and grief they must be going through. But REALLY???

Nothing still

Sigh.... :(
Doppler is supposed to give me reassurance, not make me sick with worry damnit :(
Is it Tuesday yet? No? Damn....
I keep looking up other women that haven't been able to pick up the HB at 12w too and it's helping some. Thank goodness for the internet now at least. It may cause you to worry endlessly if you're sick with all the cancer articles that come up lol, but times like these it helps to know that others have been in your situation and everything was ok.
I'm going to TRY not to worry too much about it. My brain & heart keep trying to remind me that things have shifted and baby is under A LOT of protective covering lol. I just hope the LO is still ok in there.
____

Zoe never got sick. Guess whatever caused her runny nose wasn't strong enough to actually make her sick. Thank goodness! Looks like we dodged that bullet. WOOT WOOT!

She is so cute, she has this little cardboard throw away thing that says Hello Kitty on it. She showed it to me yesterday and started naming some of the letters on it. It was SO cute and it took me by surprise too. So proud of my munchkin :D
See.... all of those kiddie shows are helping her :P hehe

UGH

I'm going to have to put the doppler away. It's only making me more worried. I can't find the heartbeat for shit and it's difficult finding the placenta too. Think I just need to give it a rest for a few weeks b/c with where it is right now, I'm not going to be able to hear anything.
Thanks a lot fat roll!! :P lol

____

Man oh man, I've been getting some aches down there. It's either on my left side or my right side. Not sure what it is but it def doesn't feel like RLP. Almost like I have cysts or something on my ovaries. It's probably just things being stretched or moved.

Sleep has been off and on awful. SO difficult trying to find a comfortable position now that doesn't start something aching.

I'm ok though... just feeling a little worried and want Tuesday to get here ASAP.
____

Puppy is doing ok. Not as many messes in the house but still happening. Grr.
His leg is looking better than when we first got him. It's not bending like it used to. It does still look wonky but not nearly as bad.
He's still attached to my ankle so to speak. I try not to pick him up a lot during the day but that hasn't deterred him at all.
Our other dog (the frenchie) has taken a liking to him but not entirely... yet. He'll play with him if we egg him on to but I don't think he really knows how yet. He's used to playing with our big ole dog (and the one that died a while ago), so he always looks so unsure when th pup starts to attack him lol. He's such a good dog though. So patient. He'll just sit there while the puppy is attacking his face lol. Really hope we'll get another dog like him one day. He's my baby.
____

And I'll just say..... from reading a thread that was posted.... it scares me... SCARES me how many women do not want to vaccinate for stupid ass reasons. Oh they THINK they're doing their research but how much do you want to bet all of that research is from anti-vax websites.
It scares the shit out of me for those who can't get vaccinated and those who haven't gotten vaccinated yet. These IDIOTS just don't understand how hypocritical their decision is. Oh sure, they won't vaccinate because they're depending on all of the other vaccinated people to keep their kid healthy.

Of course on the first thread that popped up, anti-vaxers got their asses handed to them. They made a 2nd thread that I'm really struggling not to post on. My last post on the other thread was ignored.
All I said was that....
Anti-vaxers need to go look up videos of babies with whooping cough and then try to justify their stupid decision. If they're still against vaccinating after that then well... I guess they'll be prepared if it happens since they watched the videos.
If you haven't seen any videos... let me warn you that it is absolutely heart wrenching to watch helpless little babies struggling to breath. After I had made that post, I went and looked one up (I had seen one a long time ago, but decided to take another look) and I couldn't even make it past 5 seconds without bawling my eyes out for the poor little baby.
How anyone could see that and still be OK with giving their child an increased chance of getting it, or passing that on to babies that can't be or haven't been vaccinated yet..... like I said...it scares the shit out of me.
It scares me that these MORONS think that the miniscule amount of chemicals in the vaccinations will do more damage than the actual diseases. FUCKING IDIOTS.

I've been found out!!

One of you recognized me on one of the many places I post... I have to stop going there now... such a shame....
;) hehe Just kidding just kidding.

____

So I tried the doppler again this morning and again, didn't pick up a heartbeat. Could hear the placenta nice and clear though.
I did hear what I think was movements/kicks. I wasn't moving at all, didn't have gas as far as I could tell (it didn't sound like gas anyway). It sounded like light baby kicks to the probe.
So yeah... I think that is what it was, but not entirely sure. I just ate some cereal and will check w/ doppler again in a few minutes.
____

Zoe... man... that girl needs to nap already and stop trying to kick her way out of her crib. The crib is all solid wood, but the way these kicks sound.. I would not be surprised if she cracks on of the posts.

She's really growing up quickly. It's like for a while her language skills weren't that great, but she's picking up words so quickly now and saying a lot more. Well, a lot more we can actually understand.
We bought her these foam alphabet & numbers thing for the bath from Target. Not for the bath but for her just to play with. She can identify a few of the letters already. Ones that I wouldn't have expected, like P and I. And she recognizes letters on other places. I had an Old Navy shirt on that said.. Old Navy on it and she would search through her letters to match up with the ones on my shirt.
So cute :D
So happy she's growing up but I still see my baby when I look at her. She'll always be my baby girl.

That explains a lot

So I tried the doppler again, but still didn't hear the baby's HB. I thought I may have caught it for a split second but nothing after that.
But... seems as though everything has moved up an inch which explains a lot. Why my bump has gotten so large and why I didn't get anything earlier.... not like I got anything now but you know what I mean lol.

Baby has officially moved under my giant fat roll so hearing anything is going to be a lot harder now.

It seems like I'm super obsessed with the doppler and I'm really not heh. I use it maybe every 3 days or so when I remember to do it. Really helps to have a toddler to distract you during the day :)

5 more days!!

Until my next appointment! :D So excited and nervous. Just want everything to be ok.

Checked w/ doppler this morning and couldn't hear anything. Even though I know that's normal, it still freaks me out a little bit. I'll try again later.

DH has to work this weekend though. UGH. But he did just have 5 days off so... oh well. These next few days are going to go by so slow. This week hasn't been dragging but it hasn't been flying by either.

And so much for Zoe only being sick twice. Her nose is starting to get a little runny. Hoping it stays that way, but could turn in to a cold. Pretty sure she probably caught it at aunt's house or at their church. *grumble*
I know I can't protect her from everything but it still annoys me lol.

I think they're going to be out of town tomorrow so don't have to worry about seeing them thank goodness. Man, that's so mean but just ugh.... this aunt is so overbearing and LOUD.
Plus we won't have to see Zoe's annoying little cousin either. Again, I know that's mean but I just can't deal with being around her right now. Her parents let her get away with WAY too much and give in to all of her demands when we're out eating. Like letting her choose where to sit, letting her get up and run around. Yes, we're those annoying people in restaurants that have uncontrollable brats running around the table screaming and getting in everyones way.

Well, everyone except for Zoe b/c DH and I don't allow that shit to happen with her.
____

And finally... we need a no soliciting sign for our house. It's supposed to be that way for the entire neighborhood but we still get knocks on the damn door from someone trying to sell us shit.
Or knocks from Jehovah Witness trying to convert.
Just leave us alone!!!! Let me run around braless and not have to expose anyone outside of my house to my saggy boobs!!

Lots of cussing ahead

Holy shit..... people are so fucking STUPID!!!!

I fucking HATE HATE HATE the woo-fantatics. The ones that don't vaccinate b/c they still think it causes autism. The ones that homebirth b/c they don't want a doctor to do a c-section on them to get to a golf game (b/c ALL doctors just fucking LOVE golf amirite?). The ones that extend breastfeeding until the kid is old enough to be in school and how dare you think it's weird! :\

Those fucking nutbags that think they're super duper special snowflakes b/c they're so different *insert major eyeroll*

A woman posted about wanting a c-section with her first b/c she was afraid of labor. Most of the posts are supportive and informative telling her both sides. That c-secs aren't always easy to recover from, that some are, maybe get an epidural instead, labor wasn't that bad etc etc.
But of course you have the assholes come in to make her feel like a total shithead for even entertaining the idea, or worse yet to scare her in to trying something she may not want to do.
They're the type who will shriek to the heavens for a woman's right to choose, but if you choose something they don't like, they'll scream in your face about how you're being selfish, stupid, putting your child in danger etc.

Well this one stupid bitch just posted that there's an increased risk of autism from having a c-section. And that scheduled inductions is also cause for.......
Learning disabilities
Brain damage
Lung problems

Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?

I'm sorry but if you believe that shit... come over here with a giant wad of cash b/c I have some magical beans to sell you.

And don't get me started on the whole asthma, allergies, obesity thing. I know there was a study that showed differences in gut bacteria... but that doesn't prove shit. Other than my nieces who are all being exposed to 2nd hand smoke.... I've never seen a c-sec baby with breathing problems. As for allergies... I've always read that it depends on family history. I'm not totally sure on this one, but I am sure that they haven't actually proven anything with it either.
And as for obesity... I'm sorry but that shit can not be proven unless it's with a controlled study which will never happen. You can't prove c-secs cause obesity b/c you don't know the home life and what is going on behind closed doors.

Anyway... of course these woo fantatics LOVE spouting off this shit to force women in to doing things THEIR way.

Woooow

Ok, so when I said I looked 6m pregnant, BOY was I not joking lol.
I took a photo today and well.... here it is

Looking through bump photos from my first... I look like I did when I was 25-26w pregnant. LOL
I love it though. I love having a baby bump :)

OH! And I found a couple of skirts :D Went to Walmart and found a cute maxi skirt and a different longish skirt that was on clearance.
Had to go back to Walmart once I saw that I picked up the wrong size in the maxi. Man.... those customer service employees have the patience of saints.
I swear the woman that was in front of me just went around the store, put crap in to her cart and then "returned" them for cash. So stealing money basically. They must be used to it b/c they didn't say anything to her, just kind of gave me a "What are ya gonna do" look when I gave a questioning look to them lol.

Then, since I was exchanging, I had to go run and get another skirt and when I got back there were a few people in line. I would've stood in line again, but the employees said I'd be next since I had already been there and it was just a quick exchange. Well this one bitch was NOT having it. She pitched a fit about it.... but I still got to go next anyway.. HAHA in your face heifer!
UGH.... I just don't know how they do it. I would seriously strangle those assholes if I had to put up with them.

Shouldn't have gotten the batman shirt I'm wearing in the photo. It's a juniors for 1, but I got it in 2x so figured it would fit. Didn't count on the fact that it's a snug fit shirt AND there are these purple band parts on the sleeves that have absolutely no stretch to them so my arms look like bulbous gross sausages.
Why the hell they don't make graphic tees in WOMEN sizes is beyond me. I can't be the only grown ass woman that likes nerdy graphic t-shirts.

OH!

I totally forgot.
SiL (DH's older sis) had IUI done a few days ago. Can't remember if I had mentioned this, but her DH left some 'samples' behind before he had to go back out to sea.
Not sure if this was her first time with it or what, but I really hope that it's successful. Would be great news to get in a week or so and even better if baby sticks.
Keeping my FX for them.

Random before bed

I should make that a regular thing... when I actually remember to do it lol.

Went to MiL's house today for dinner. I could've eaten all of this homemade dumpling stuff she made. Holy crap it was good, but they needed it for leftovers the next day lol.
Zoe was so animated there. Her cousin (the oldest one from my brother) was there and Zoe was glued to her. When the cousin went to use the bathroom and closed the door, Zoe stood outside the door and kept yelling her name. ROFL. It was calm at first and then when she didn't get an answer she sort of shrieked it :P lol

If I had any doubt before... that doubt has been put to rest. My stomach has definitely "popped". Sometimes it's a little smaller, but most of the time, yeah... it's looking like I'm pregnant. May start doing belly shots soon.
I frickin love it though. I know it's going to cause discomfort like it did with Zoe, but... bring it. I love having a giant pregnant belly :D
Bought my first ever maternity shirt online. Just hope it fits though. It's a women's t-shirt so I got it in XL, but they always tend to run small.

Went to Target today to look for a maternity maxi skirt. They had jack crap. I actually had a moment when I was feeling myself get teary eyed over it LOL. Just mad b/c I really wanted a skirt to wear so I could wear that instead of my short shorts out. I probably have maybe 2 capri shorts that still fit me comfortably now (b/c they're super stretchy, woot!) so just wanted more options. I do have my 3 yoga capris I can wear too.
Oh well. Maybe Walmart has something.... Need to go soon though before they change all of their clothes to fall stuff.

OH! My MiL did end up taking the other puppy from my brother. It's a female and SiL always said that she was bigger than the male that we have.
Didn't realize just HOW big she is though. She's at least double the size of our puppy O_O
We definitely ended up with the runt... yay :D
It was still shocking though to see how huge she was. Interested to see how big she gets since the pups are only just over 2m old now.

As for our pup, he's a sweet little thing. Not as many accidents in the house thankfully since he enjoys being outside (when it's not hotter than the fires of hell). So that is helping to keep our carpets a little more pee and poop free... at least from the puppy *glares at the cat*
I do wish he would stop trying to lay on my chest at night though. When I say he is a snuggler... he totally glues himself to and on me. If I'm laying on my back, he's either on my chest right at my neck, or is laying on my shoulder w/ his head on my neck.
If I'm on my side facing away from him, he'll hop on to my pillow and wrap himself around my head like a puppy mohawk. I even woke up to his nose in the crook of my nose/eyesocket.
My hair is SO tangled in the morning now from him 'nesting' in it for a good chunk of the night (since I mostly sleep on my sides).

2 toddlers don't go together

So DH was told that Zoe and her cousins were outside playing and that if whoever hadn't stepped in, Zoe and her other toddler cousin (who is about 10m older) would've gotten in to a fight.
I can't help but LOL. Of course they wouldn't fight fight, would probably be someone gets pushed down and they start crying :P
But still... yeah, not sure what his family expected.
The other toddler is in full blown terrible 2's going in to terrible 3's. She's the epitome of a toddler. She doesn't listen, discipline (at least what they do) doesn't work, her and Zoe are possessive, so yeah... not surprising in the least.
I'm sure they'll be buddies when they're older, but right now... pfffft.
____

I'm feeling so off right now.
It's like I'm constantly dehydrated even though I THINK I'm drinking enough. Plus I've gotten headaches the last 2 days.
Going to try to drink more to see if it helps.

Checked w/ doppler just a little bit ago and after a little bit of searching found our little choochoo train chugging along. He/she must've moved though b/c we (DH and I) didn't hear it for long. Oh well... just keep doing your thing LO :)