Confessions

Just imagine that I said the title in a husky whispery voice :P

I must confess..... I didn't bond with Zoe right away. I did love her. I loved her ever since that 6w u/s when we saw that little heart beating away.... but I dunno... just a bond didn't happen right away.
With being SO tired and worn out, all I wanted to do was sleep and never being around a newborn before and suddenly having one, I dunno, it just took me a while to accept this new reality.
How crazy is that, I wanted this more than anything, had 9 months to prepare for it, and still wasn't entirely prepared lol. I guess no new mother is really all that prepared for it.
And plus, never being around a newborn before... I had this fantasy of how things were going to be. That Zoe was going to be a great content little baby that rarely cried. AHAHAHAHAHAHA
*ahem* Anyway... yeah, that fantasy was shattered!
I'd often worry at first if something was wrong with her b/c she would fuss so much. Of course I quickly realized, nope, nothing wrong. She's just being a baby :)

Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there.
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And again, Don't buy new newborn and 0-3m clothes!!! We didn't even have a lot of newborn size stuff and Zoe still only wore most of them only once and a few others (that were slightly larger) twice.
Go in to a consignment shop and I bet you most of those newborn clothes have only been worn once or twice, if at all.
That is def where we are going to be getting a new LO's 0-3m clothes *nodnod*
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Zoe is awake, gotta watch how to make roast beef before she starts getting fussy hehe.

Tomorrow

Is the official start of our strict month!
It's not going to be as strict as the first time we did it. We're having a little bit of dairy still... and DH may cheat on Weds. Oh and if a marinade calls for sugar, I'll be using some, but really, those are minor things.

I'm so excited to get started!!

So tired of sleeping like crap. I know my wonderful new habit of snoring is some of the problem too because it always wakes me up or I'm half asleep and can hear myself doing it. BLEH.

And losing weight has got to help with my crap body. I still haven't gotten AF, and I'm bleeding now. It's not AF though... just heavy spotting every once in a while.
Had some yesterday, and by night it had stopped. Same thing today.
So annoyed and a bit worried about that. My body is screwing up again and it sucks :(

We're def not having another LO any time soon if this keeps up. Hopefully with some weight loss, things will become at least somewhat normal.

Speaking of a new LO...I can't wait! lol
I just look at Zoe and wonder if her brother or sister(s) will look like her, act like her, etc.
I look at all of the clothes she has outgrown and wonder if we're gonna be keeping the girly stuff or using the boy ones.
I stalk the Due date boards on TWW and live vicariously through all of the women that post there LOL.
Even though the last few months of pregnancy are rough... I totally miss it! I loved being pregnant, even when I was complaining :P hehe And I loved that anticipation and wonder about the baby. Wondering what they're gonna look like and all that good stuff.

It's going to be SO difficult with a little baby and probably a toddler, but I just can't wait. I just hope it does happen though.
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Oh and Zoe seems to have found her funny bone finally heh.
She seems to be laughing more. DH had her laughing in the living room. And when he was taking her to her nursery w/ me following behind. She saw me and started laughing.
Oh my gosh it made me cry to hear it. LOL It was just so sweet and cute, I couldn't help but cry w/ joy.
DH is so cute when he hears her laugh too. He'll usually say "Oh my goodness." In total awe.
Baby smiles are awesome, but baby laughs are just the best!

Not yet

We went to the Once Upon a Child across town.
They had 3 more joggers. 2 for 80 and one for 90. The 2 for 80 looked pretty used and dirty, but the 90 one was NICE.
It was a Jeep brand one and looked almost brand new. The only way you could tell that it was used was that the tires were slightly dirty and there was a little bit of hair dust in the cup holder.
Really think we should've gotten it.

We didn't though. Babies R Us and Buy Buy Baby were right there so we went to those to see what they had.

Not sure what DH wants to do. I think $90 was still too much for him so we may end up going to get the $50 one from the store near us which I'm fine with. Some wiping off and I'm sure it will look great. Plus with our store credit, we'd only be paying what... $27 for it and that aint bad :)
Will try to get him to look at some joggers online.

And as I replied in the comment on the previous post..... if you have a Once Upon a Child near you and you have never been... GO NOW! lol
They are fantastic! Tons of toys (some used a lot, but most look barely used), shoes, clothes clothes and more clothes etc etc.
You really don't have to buy anything new unless you just like new things.... which come on.. we all do :P hehe
But for you pregnant mommas out there... DO NOT buy new newborn clothes or 0-3m. Or at least, don't buy too many new stuff. Go to one of those places and buy stuff from there b/c you will NOT use those clothes enough to justify paying retail price for them. *nodnod*
My forceful words of wisdom for ya ;)
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And some photos!

A cute dress thing that we got yesterday. It's hand wash only which sucks. Still need to do that, but it's so darn cute. It came with pants too.

The rest are in that basket kind behind the glider. Yeah, her room is a BIG mess right now that I need to clean up. Fold clothes, get rid of clothes, put away books, toys, etc.

Hehe, she often gets that deer in headlights look when the flash goes off :P

Gamecocks Ninja!... or something

Getting photos of her in her owl hat before she outgrows it. It's almost too small for her now :(

Angry owl!

Yay Happy owl!

Gone

We went to Once Upon A Child today. I made sure to pit the stroller in to the car myself.
We only got 22.50 for it but that is better than nothing.
Also decided not to buy that one onesie. I'd much rather buy a couple outfits than just the one... and I did.... muahahahah
 DH helped though as usual.... he always goes crazy with the baby clothes.
I'll try to remember to get photos.
They did have a jogger though and it was only 50. it looked kind of dirty but nothing that can't be cleaned off.
DH wanted to go to the other store across town tomorrow to see if they have more.
I'm fine with that, but I don't think we're gonna find anything better for that cheap.
Alright, back to watching Dr who lol.

A quick one

Got Zoe to laugh! YAY! lol
It didn't last long, but she gave some up hehe.
I was standing her up and bouncing her on my lap. She thought it was hilarious apparently and started to crack up.
DH was sitting on the other couch and was just amazed and awed by her laughing. It was amazingly cute and such a great family moment.
____

UGH, why do I torture myself... sigh.
I went back to that forum to look at that thread again. Yes, I'm just making myself miserable and angry over this crap. Stupid me.

Anyway, apparently b/c I got offended (not offended just pissed off at the high horse crowd) then I must not be confident in my decision to get DD's ears pierced. Uhm.. what??
They totally did NOT get the point I made, so whatever.
They can get back on those high horses and patrol for another oppurtunity to make themselves feel superior to others.

Oh and while I'm still on the topic of this...

During Christmas, DH's uncle and aunt were at the inlaws house. The inlaws had been fighting with them for gosh, since close to the beginning of my pregnancy actually.

This was the first time they met Zoe and one of the first things out of the uncle's mouth was "You got her ears pierced??" in total disgust.
Yes, yes we did.
I know he was just looking to start a fight, but I just nodded and smiled.
He tried egging something on again later in the day, but yeah, I still wasn't biting.
____

OH I forgot to mention....
So for Christmas... we were all supposed to draw names. Almost everyone is hard up for cash and there are SO many of us, so it would just be easier to pick a name to buy something for.
First off, they didn't frickin draw names until AFTER all the good sales were over with... awesome.
And then... what happens during Christmas?? DH and I find out that some of them still bought EVERYONE a damn present!! WTF??? And these were the people who suggested drawing names to begin with.
Again.... WTF??
It made DH feel bad and guilty for not buying presents for more people, but it just makes me pissed.
They weren't trying to make themselves look better or anything like that, but still, don't frickin suggest something and then not even follow through with it.
If you want to get everyone a very cheap small gift, ok whatever, but don't give out a bigger gift to everyone when that is not what was agreed upon! GEEZE

Anyway.... the person that drew my name was DH's uncle's wife (not the one I mentioned above). This wife and uncle are in their own little bubble and could really care less about anyone other than themselves.
She actually got me a nice gift though. It's this pretty glass top bird bath. She admitted to me that she didn't even pick it out though b/c she had no idea what to get.... yeah that didn't shock me at all.
____

Anywho, to end on a more positive note since I've been doing A LOT of bitching lately lol...

Hope to go to Once Upon a Child tomorrow. I know DH doesn't want to, but I really want to get rid of that stroller.
Not sure why he is hesitating.
I know we're not going to get what I paid for it, but still, it's just collecting dust right now. Getting SOMETHING back for it is better than nothing. Plus, I just like looking around the store :P lol

Gosh, I can't believe it's almost 2013 already. It's gonna be another great year I think :)

Just to get it off the top

For.those of you with LOs... when did they start laughing regularly?
Zoe has laughed a handful of times, but it is still Very difficult to get her to laugh.
I try tickling, whooshing her through the air, lifting her up and down, etc. It gets great big smiles but no laughing.
I love her smiles, but I want to start hearing more baby laughs damnit lol.

F- you judgemental PRICKS

This is aimed towards the stuck up bitches over on a certain forum (not TWW).

If you don't like piercing a baby's ear. That is totally fine! It's your baby and if you want to give them the choice when they're older.... Good for you!
If you don't like the way it looks on babies, also perfectly fine! Hell, some people don't even like jeans on babies.

But don't even for one f-ing second insinuate that the parent is BAD for getting it done or considering it and please get off your high horse because you think YOUR decision is better than everyone elses and they should all agree.

I don't like co-sleeping. I will NEVER do it with Zoe or any other future baby b/c I'd just be too scared to.
Does that mean I go around and call all parents that do it irresponsible? Hell no!

UUUUUUUGH that just gets on my nerves. I don't know why I keep going back to this certain forum. It's filled with mostly self righteous pretentious prick ass women that think they know best for EVERYONE and aren't afraid to voice their very harsh negative narrowminded views if they disagree with something, but don't you dare disagree with them b/c how dare you judge them!

I just need to stop going there. Something on it always ends up pissing me off and it's usually the same thing over and over again.

Someone posts a topic

First few comments are ok and then the bitch-brigade takes over with comments similiar to.
Blahblah.. I think it's terrible, but I'm not judging.

Someone disagrees with bitch-brigade....
How dare you judge me when in my delusional mind I don't... ever!! Now let me go back to passive aggressivly calling everyone I don't agree with a terrible parent.

I'm such a lazy mom

I totally admit it.
I am SO frickin happy that Zoe is entertaining herself so I don't have to ALL the time lol. It gives me free time to do whatever I want.
It's so so nice. And as soon as Zoe can sit up on her own, she's gonna be able to play with most of those new toys so, WOO! that's gonna be good too :D

Don't get me wrong though, I totally love my cuddles with her, I just like having my hands and time free to do something else too.
____

I don't mind family holding Zoe. Zoe likes it and it's good for her to socialize with people that's not myself or DH....
BUT I can't help but watch her like a hawk if she's in the same room.
I'm not nervous at all, but my eyes ALWAYS go to her. I'd be a creepy stalker if she weren't my baby :P lol
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UGH I slept like shit again last night. Getting really tired of this.
I actually fell asleep pretty quick for once. But I woke up at 2:30 and didn't get back to sleep until after 6, and by then, Zoe was in the process of waking up :(
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I tried feeding Zoe some rice cereal yesterday w/ a spoon. Eehehehehe
She didn't like it very much :P
At first, she was a bit distracted so I'd sneak a little in her mouth and she'd eat it, but when she paid attention and I got a good glob of the stuff in there, poor baby gagged on it.
She was not having it once she actually got a good taste of the stuff hehe.
She was pretty good with the spoon though. Wanted to hold it herself, but she kinda seemed to understand that food was on it and where it was supposed to go.

Wow

Was looking through some old posts and... it's so hard to believe that this

Is the first picture of my baby girl.
It's so cool that that tiny little blob (the large circle is the yolk sac.. the upside down L right beside it is baby) grew in to my fussy pants pretty little Zoe

20w 1d

I totally forgot her weekly post yesterday! DOH!

So a day late...

Poor Zoe yesterday. Cried and screamed uncontrollably b/c she was having a difficult poo. When she finally passed it she was fine, but during, good lord it was terrible. I even started to get teary eyed b/c there was nothing I could do for her other than hold her. :(

I gave her some prune juice and she pooped again a little later with not even a whimper thankfully. Prune juice will make her poos grosser but I'll take that over her being in pain.

Her sleep schedule is all screwy after just 2 days. Monday night and Tuesday night, she didn't get to bed until 10 and last night she did not want to go to bed at her usual time.
She did actually finally go to sleep, only to wake about 30mins later. Not normal for her.
Hopefully getting her back on will be NP.

I think that's about it..... or at least all I can think of atm :)

Excited

I'm tired of gaining weight again and feeling like a beached snoring whale.
I wake myself up ALL night long because my snoring has gotten worse since I've started gaining weight again.
BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.

I'm excited to start our diet again.
It's gonna be another strict month. I still think dinner on Fridays are going to be the 'cheat' but every other meal is gonna be primal.
I'm also going to start exercising. Hopefully Zoe will allow it. If not all at once, then do it throughout the day.
Want to go to Once Upon a Child this weekend to see if we can score a jogger so we can go on walks around the neighborhood.
I don't know why those strollers are so damn expensive. They just have larger wheels on them. Why that means companies can charge an arm and a leg is beyond me.
I doubt we'll be able to find anything, but it won't hurt to look and maybe I can finally convince DH to take in that big stroller to sell. I'd do it myself but MAN, that would be awkward trying to move that thing and Zoe in.

So yeah.... we're kinda getting all of our junk food cravings out of the way this week lol. Still have some rice crispy treats to make and I think I still have pumpkin pie stuff too. That one may just have to wait until much later down the road b/c the sound of it doesn't sound good to me right now.
Or maybe I could make it for DH's coworkers so the ingredients that we bought don't go to waste.
We'll see.

I must say... I am enjoying the hell out of some sandwiches. We don't buy bread often at all and OMG sandwiches are AWESOME lol.

But yeah..... enough with that. I have 3 or 4 days to get all of this junk food craving crap out of my system and it's time to get serious!!

I'm pumped up! Not so much about exercising but I'll do it!

____

And ya know what, I am tired of whatever the hell my body is trying to do or not do.
I spotted some today... and that was it.

I'm still weepy as hell which sucks. Not sure what set it off this morning when I was driving around shopping, but sure enough, it hit me and I started getting all misty eyed.
It's either I'm weepy or get pissed/annoyed quickly.

My face is still breaking out, my hair is super oily which grosses me out especially since I'm not taking a shower every day (don't be grossed out too much lol)... AND I'm getting bad dandruff again too which confuses me. All that oil and I still have a dry scalp? WTF?

I'm also getting weird ass dreams and still not sleeping well.

Anyway... I'm tired of this wonky hormones shit!

Really hoping the diet and losing weight will help.

Made out like a bandit

Zoe that is.... she got a TON of stuff!
DH and I bought her a few books, and the rest of it is from everyone else.

The photo really doesn't do the amount she got justice. The laundry basket is packed and yeah.... we're not gonna have to buy any toys for her for a VERY long time.

Sigh... I TOTALLY didn't take enough photos yesterday though. DOH.
I have a few where family is holding Zoe, but none of them really turned out all that great. Damnit.
None of just Zoe though... oh well...

Yesterday was good though. Good food, decent company.

DH's oldest sis gave us the neatest little gift

It doesn't look like Zoe too much b/c the nose is puckered out some, but it's still super cute :D Our Christmas tree is gonna have nothing but photo ornaments on it :P lol

I went to Old Navy and Target this morning.
Frickin hate Old Navy. Cheap bastards never restock the shit they have on sale. Oh come on in and get 75% off of FUCKING NOTHING BECAUSE WE REFUSE TO RESTOCK THE STUFF THAT'S ON SALE!
I wanted to look at the coats they have on sale, but they had NONE out on display. WTF?? Women's t-shirts?? PFFT NOPE...
I did buy a cute onesie for Zoe (it's a 'boy' onesie w/ a UFO and alien on it) and a t-shirt for DH.
When I got home I bought a few things online. Hell, even that was a PITA b/c a lot of the things I liked they were out of stock in the sizes I wanted.

Then headed to Target to check out the Christmas stuff. It was 50% off. I bought a few rolls of wrapping paper, tags and a rattle for Zoe.
I wanted some garland but it was still $4 which is too much for that stuff.

Would've gone to more places but it was a very ugly morning. Lots of rain and really windy and I was just ready to go home. Xmas section at Target after Christmas is a frickin feeding frenzy of soccer moms trying to score cheap Christmas crap for the next year.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!!!

Is it weird that I enjoy riding around early Christmas morning so I can see all of the empty parking lots? Especially Walmart.
LOL I dunno... there's just something serene about it all. Knowing that almost nothing is open, everyone is home.

Well almost everyone.... DH had to work today. BLEH! That's the price of working in a hospital though. Someone has to be there. Just sucks that he has had to work Christmas two years in a row now though.
He said that he should have it off for the next four years though. He better damnit.
Not sure what we're gonna do about that when Zoe is old enough to get excited about Christmas. Tell her she can't open presents until daddy gets home? Pffft
That's gonna suck.
Maybe just do the Santa gifts and save the mommy and daddy ones for when he gets home. Maybe that will work.

Anywho...
Zoe let me sleep in this morning. Yay :) Helps that she didn't go to bed until 10pm though.
We went to inlaws last night and didn't get home until 9:30. Put her in her jammies, changed her, etc and laid her down. Of course she was WIDE AWAKE by then, but thankfully she was content laying in her crib.... like she is right now actually :)

She just woke from her morning nap not long ago. Think I may have woken her up making the dough for Insta-diabetes cinnamon buns.

I'm gonna have to head to inlaws alone as soon as the dough is done and prepped. Let it rise the rest of the way over there.

So yeah, that's about another 2 or 3 hours of peace until the chaos of a big family cramped Christmas over at the inlaws lol.

Movie

So, tonight was the first time both DH and I left Zoe.

We went to see The Hobbit with DH's sisters and his oldest's husband while MiL babysat for us.

Poor MiL. Zoe has been SUPER fussy lately and really demanding and apparently, Zoe cried A LOT while we were gone. Not b/c of that but just b/c she was overtired.
We're not sure what's going on with her.
Maybe it's teething, or I dunno... some kind of growth spurt maybe, tummy ache? We have no idea.
Poor girl is just inconsolable sometimes though and while it makes you feel bad for her, it gets on your last nerve too. Very frustrating :(

Anyway, it was nice going to the movie. We splurged and got a large popcorn and drink lol. It was a 3 hour movie :P

The movie was pretty good. Kinda drawn out in a couple of spots, but it wasn't bad especially if you're in to those movies.
I already have our costumes planned out for next Halloween.

I either want DH and I to dress as dwarves and Zoe as a hobbit, OR Zoe dressed as Gandalf. LOL
I think dressing her as Gandalf would be HILARIOUS... but a hobbit would be cute too heh.
Could you just picture that? A cute little toddler size Gandalf running around? EHEHEHEHEHE
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Oh I forgot.... I finally had some alcohol last night. It's been over a year since I've had any.
I had a little bit of french vanilla kahlua w/ some chocolate milk which I'm not a big fan of. I much prefer the original.
And then had some jager w/ rootbeer.
The kahlua had me slightly buzzing and the jager got it going even better.
The thing is... I only had 2 shots total!! lol Wish it would stay like that all the time. Save a lot of money on alcohol and get a quick buzz off of almost nothing :P

I paid for it though. Alcohol gives me terrible acid reflux and I woke up with bile in my throat. Burned the frickin hell out of it and it's been screwed up all day today.
____

Think that's it.... Time for bed!

Lots and lots of Photos

And so my bitch post isn't at the top....

Here are some photos we took last night :)
We bought the outfit at Walmart when we were waiting for the photos :P

 

And finally, cute ornaments that you can buy at Michaels. I think they're on sale now for 79 cents. We have one on our tree (you can see it in a few of the photos), and we're giving these to family.

So fun and goofy :D

More annoyance!!

Yes, I probably shouldn't be bitching so much before Christmas, but the more you spend with family, the more frustrations you have :P

Anyway...

So yesterday, we went to the Flea Market to meet up with the inlaws. I knew I should've said I didn't want to go.
I swear, DH's mom wants to look at every single damn thing. We had already been there, I think for 2 hours before DH and I kinda rushed them :P lol

But UGH.... MiL... she really is a sweet woman, but she's one of those people you just want to smack some sense in to sometimes.
She's a hoarder. Her father was living with a woman for a while, but they got in to a fight so he moved back in to his house (which is where MiL and FiL are living).
Well he made MiL clean up the house and good lord, we've been hearing her bitch about it ever since then. Like we're going to take her side on this.
The last few times we've been up there, I refused to go in to their house because it's disgusting. Hell, I didn't even want DH to go in because even spending a couple minutes inside, you come out stinking to high heaven.
You can literally smell the inside of the house from outside.. probably a good 20 feet away.
It's absolutely disgusting.

So anyway, DH's grandfather basically nagged them to clean the house and b/c of that, we're having Christmas there. I'm still not looking forward to that shit.
I'm sure it is clean LOOKING, but I dread the stench. That kind of funk is not something that just goes away.

Well anyway.... at the Flea Market... MiL saw these 2 Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen dolls she wanted. Yeah... you read that right..
There were these 2 hideous barbie doll looking things of the Olsen twins and she wanted them.
Well FiL told her no when she called him over to give her money.
She pouted to us and to SiL about it. Uhm... GOOD!!! I just want to shake her when she starts up with that crap. You're supposed to be getting rid of crap, not adding to it!

And then, we're supposed to be going to the movie today and MiL is babysitting.
Well she thought we were going to bring the baby up to her house. I don't F-ing think so. For one.... just no... and 2, the theater is a mile from our house. It would be easier for her to watch her here.

And don't get me started on their dogs. Jumping all over you, most of them probably have heart worms or some kind of parasite. I know a couple of them are aggressive and will bite. Those damn dogs better be put up when we go over there on Tuesday. DH has already told them that.

Anyway, enough of that mess. Only a couple more days and we can just go back to seeing them once a week.....

Stuff and junk

UGH last night was ANNOYING.
So every Friday, we go out with inlaws unless something happens.
It's been this way for years now... YEARS.
And yet almost every damn friday, DH's family act like it's the first damn time they're hearing about it.

So DH gets home last night and calls his dad like he usually does (or calls his mom, whichever picks up)... and his dad tells him that his mom, sister, and aunt are out shopping. Cue the groans and eyerolls from us b/c we know what this means.
DH tries to get in touch with them for over an HOUR.
When he finally does... it's
"Oh we're almost done. We'll call when we're about to leave."

Another HOUR later... we finally get a call that we're meeting up at the food place at 7. UUUUUUGH

So we get there and oh look, the place is closed and the inlaws have been sitting there a while. Ok... did they decide on somewhere else to go? NOPE
They had been sitting there at least... AT LEAST 10 minutes before we got there yet it occured to absolutely NONE OF THEM to think of somewhere else to go.

When it is finally decided... they pick the slowest damn place possible. It's a wings place that is just down the road from where we were at... and oh look... they're busy as shit!
There was not enough room for our party of FIFTEEN people. I don't know WTF his family was thinking. DH and I just stood outside, and when we saw how busy they were, we just frickin left.
We swung my Little Ceasers, picked up 2 pizzas and came home and watched a movie.
Just so fucking annoying and I blame DH's aunt and mom. They are frickin shopaholics and can do that shit for HOURS on end and they waited until the last possible fucking second to call anyone for dinner. They could kiss our asses.

DH called them up a little over an hour after we got home, and after he told them that that place was too busy and too slow, they told him that they were just then getting some of the food. Yeah, it's one of those places that doesn't bring it out all at once... oh no... it's whoever is done first gets it. So that person is the only one at the table awkwardly eating while everyone else wonders when they're gonna eat. I'm sure they probably didn't leave that place until well after 9.
Nuh uh family... we have a baby now that is on a schedule. Yes that schedule can be broken, but not for that shit.

ANYWHO... so there was that.

And this morning was annoying too.
We got up nice and early so we could hit up the Walmart photo thing before anyone else. Well guess what... that shit doesn't open until 9am! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
So frickin STUPID. Right before a damn holiday... open that crap up sooner!!!
So we left to go fill our water jugs. Came back and of course they were all taken and if you've ever printed photos at Walmart, you know those things are slow as shit.
We were in Walmart for over an HOUR waiting to use those damn things and getting the photos.
Good lord that was terrible.

Anyway, Zoe is crying, gotta go do momma junk ;)

Mutt

Ok... a complaint of the day...

I enjoy looking online at our newspapers classified pet ads. I just like seeing what's for sale and daydreaming about getting an adorable pup. I know it's pathetic.

Anyway.... I wish people would stop with all of these damn designer dogs or at least stop with the madeup names for them. Just call them what they are already and stop charging outrageous prices for a MUTT.

It's not a pekichu, it's not a puggle, it's not a pomechupekedoodle or whatever other fucking word you want to make up so you can tack on another couple of 0s to the price!

MUTT MUTT MUTT MUTT MUTT. Nothing wrong with being a MUTT

I want to punch

SO many people lol.

Not going to say who b/c I don't want to piss anyone off, but yeah... hormones are getting the better of me here.
I know they're out of whack right now b/c I'm still weepy, or getting extra pissy. And this damn dull headache will not frickin go away!!!

Anyway, DH and I had unprotected sex last night. OOOOOOOOOOMGPREGNANT!
Pfft yeah right. I wish it was that easy for us. I wish we were the kind of couple that actually has to be careful.

I am going to take a OPK today though. Maybe start using them daily again if I remember to.
I think the ones I have expire in march so gotta use them all up by then anyway.
____

Zoe has been SO demanding. She does not like it when I'm out of her site and will start to cry and scream.
I love snuggling up with her, but mommy has some shit to do damnit! lol
Like taking a crap for instance. That's just something that can't be rushed :P

I can't wait for her to start talking. Or at least say poop. B/c she is not a baby that likes sitting in her own poop. She cries her eyes out until we finally figure it out. And it's pretty funny b/c she stops crying and will actually get cheery when we're headed to the nursery to change her poopy diaper. I hope this keeps up, maybe it will make potty training easier.
And b/c all new parents are obsessed with their baby's poo...
Zoe's poo has been rabbit pellets. She def does not have liquid poo any longer.
It's either rabbit pellets or a larger squishy turd. I'm not complaining b/c it makes clean up A LOT easier.

Anywho, she is awake... I had my 20mins of alone time. Time to go be momma now ;) hehe

Comparing

I feel like I compare Zoe to other babies too much.
I don't mean to do it, but just can't help but feel sometimes that I wish she would do things that others report their LOs doing.
I know that Zoe will eventually and I need to take in every moment that she is a little baby.
*shrugs*

Anywho.... Zoe saw her other aunt for the first time yesterday. YAY :) It was kinda late though so Zoe wasn't really all that sociable other than a few smiles lol. It was close to her bedtime and she is pretty consistant with her schedule and when she gets tired.
Unlucky for us though, she goes to sleep and gets woken up when we get home, so it's a couple more hours of trying to get her to fall back to sleep lol.

Last night was NOT fun though.
I got extremely nauseous from the metformin. I've never had that side effect from it before.. at least not to the point that I actually throw up or even come close to throwing up, but I sure did last night.
I woke up around 12:30 feeling like I was going to puke. Took an antacid and some tylenol for a headache.
Laid back down and was feeling a little better, but as soon as I rolled over on to my side.. that was it. I had to puke.
Felt MUCH better after other than a burned throat.

HA... I'm an awesome mom. Just gave Zoe one of my old pill bottles w/ baby aspirin in it to play with. It's not like she can get in to it, but still feel weird giving it to her. It does make a great rattle though lol.

Always amazed

I can't help but always be amazed at Zoe's development.
They grow mentally and physically SO SO much in the first year. It's insane to watch her.
One day she is having trouble figuring out a toy, the next... she's playing with it like a champ.
One day, she's fitting in to all of her clothes just fine, the next... she's not.
I've got to remember all of these moments with her... they're going by so fast.


I think my hormones are screwy right now b/c I've been emotional the last few days and my face has broken out like a teenaged boys. I look like a hot mess and I'm weepy as shit.

Anyway, back to sappy...
I'm just so grateful to have our little Zoe. I may complain A LOT lol... but I would not trade this for anything.

19 weeks

Man, has a week gone by already?
Geeze...

Anywho, gotta make this quick. Zoe has been awake in her crib for a while and she's getting frustrated lol.

I shouldn't complain about her sleep, but damnit, I'm going to.
She is still sttn for the most part. Every night I do have to get up to reinsert her pacifier, and most of the time that puts her back to sleep, but there are a few nights where she'll be wide awake and won't go to sleep for a few hours.
She's getting in to the habit of waking up just before 6 though and that suuuuuuuuucks.
Hopefully my body gets used to it soon.

Zoe doesn't seem to enjoy her playmat as much any longer.

She does love her exersaucer though.

She was SUPER clingy yesterday and didn't want to spend hardly any time away from me. If I walked away for a minute she would start crying.

That spotting I was having has stopped. Not even a hint of it. WTF body??

I REALLY need to start losing weight again! It's useless trying to start before Christmas, but thankfully there are no more family get together make you fat holidays after it so sticking to a diet should be a lot easier.
There is Valentines Day but a nice steak dinner that is in line with our diet at home sounds good.

Uh, I think that's it... so... photos!

Tried getting Zoe to play on her mat for a bit.
It didn't go too well..

Tummy time wasn't much better. Lots of flailing around and crying although the photos don't really show that heh

So I helped her sit up for a little bit. She actually did like that...
She can sit up on her own for maybe a second or 2 but will then topple over heh

And then I tried her in her bumbo for a  little bit. She was ok in it for a while, but I think by then she was tired. She did look adorable sitting in it though :D
My pretty girl

One nugget of advice

If there is one thing I could tell women that are about to have their first baby... Do NOT buy so many clothes.
Splurge a little since it is your first, but you really don't need a lot of clothes for a baby.
Zoe is almost 5 months now and she has spent most of her life in some form of a pajama, whether if it is footie pjs or a sleep sack when she was younger.
I'm sure if she had been born in the summer it would've been nothing but light onesies.
I guess daycare babies would need a few more outfits, but even then... it really is crazy how fast these los grow so buying a bunch in one size isn't necessary.

Any who...that was it  :)

One more for the road

Posting before bed...

I made some from scratch cinnamon rolls tonight.
Took FOREVER and it's hard as hell trying to make dough when you don't have an expensive ass stand mixer lol.

Anywho.. they tasted GREAT but good lord.... rich rich rich rich rich.
They should've been named Insta-Diabetes Cinnamon Rolls.
Seriously... this is like the first time EVER that we don't even want to finish a dessert.

It's another Cook's Country recipe...

Ultimate Cinnamon Buns

If you have to sign up for the recipe.... then here it is

IngredientsDough

• 3/4 cup whole milk, heated to 110 degrees
• 1 envelope (2 1/4 teaspoons) instant or rapid-rise yeast
• 3 large eggs, room temperature
• 4 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup cornstarch
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 12 pieces and softened

Filling

• 1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

Glaze

• 4 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 1 tablespoon whole milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar

Instructions

• 1. For the dough: Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 200 degrees. When oven reaches 200 degrees, shut off. Line 13- by 9-inch baking pan with foil, allowing excess foil to hang over pan edges. Grease foil and medium bowl.
• 2. Whisk milk and yeast in liquid measuring cup until yeast dissolves, then whisk in eggs. In bowl of stand mixer fitted with dough hook, mix flour, cornstarch, sugar, and salt until combined. With mixer on low, add warm milk mixture in steady stream and mix until dough comes together, about 1 minute. Increase speed to medium and add butter, one piece at a time, until incorporated. Continue to mix until dough is smooth and comes away from sides of bowl, about 10 minutes. Turn dough out onto clean surface and knead to form a smooth, round ball. Transfer dough to prepared bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and place in warm oven. Let rise until doubled in size, about 2 hours.
• 3. For the filling: Combine brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt in small bowl. Turn dough out onto lightly floured surface. Following photos 1 and 2 in the related step-by-step, roll dough into 18-inch square, spread with butter, and sprinkle evenly with filling. Starting with the edge nearest you, roll dough into tight cylinder, pinch lightly to seal seam, and, following photo 3, cut into 8 pieces. Transfer pieces, cut-side up, to prepared pan. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in warm spot until doubled in size, about 1 hour.
• 4. For the glaze and to bake: Heat oven to 350 degrees. Whisk cream cheese, milk, vanilla, and confectioners’ sugar in medium bowl until smooth. Discard plastic wrap and bake buns until deep golden brown and filling is melted, 35 to 40 minutes. Transfer to wire rack and top buns with ½ cup glaze; cool 30 minutes. Using foil overhang, lift buns from pan and top with remaining glaze. Serve.
•  

 I suggest making 12 instead of 8. Making 8 would make them almost as big as a dinner plate and that is WAY too much. Hell, even cutting them in to 12.. the size they turn out is too much lol.
But they really are good... you just can't eat a lot of it at once :P

Back

Got back from my spending extravaganza an hour ago :P

Decided not to go to Kohls. I wasn't planning on buying anything there anyway, just looking, but figured that would be torture lol.
So I first hit up Bojangles and picked me up a steak biscuit... yum.
Then headed to Once Upon a Child where I bought 8 footie PJs! MUAHAHAHAHA

Or well, they're not all footie pjs, I lied. 2 of them are sleep sacks. One is just a regular cute one, and the other is a Winnie the Pooh one that came with a Pooh hat! Awwww hehe That was the most expensive item I bought and it was only 4.50 and looked brand new.
I think 1 or 2 of the footie pjs were new and the rest are in great shape.
Zoe really needed them though. The ones we have are hand-me-downs from DH's coworker, but they're all so... ugly :P I know I shouldn't poo on free stuff, but they're just not cute. They're super girly and old timey looking. Just not my taste.
Anyway, most of them, Zoe has grown out of anyway. I swear, it's like one day she could wear them, and then the next, she's too big.
OO and 2 of them were hald off so I only paid 1.25 for each :D WOO for consignment shops!!
Really need to take that big stroller that I bought a while ago to them lol.

OOO they had the cutest 9m size onesie. It was $10 and I wasn't about to spend that, but damn was it tempting.
It was a yellow bee onesie. The bottom part had the black and yellow stripes, the top 'dress' layer was yellow and on the back were 2 nylon wings! OMG adorable!!!! I may be tempted to go back and just say screw it and buy it. I'll see if DH wants to take in the stroller this weekend and if it's still there, I'm gonna get it lol.

Grrr

I'm going to strangle DH when he gets home!!!
Zoe is a faucet at night.
Since she has started to eat more, she pees like crazy and we MUST put her in to a double stuffed larger size diaper.. and even then, she might leak.
Well guess who forgot to put her in to one last night.....

I went to pick her up and the poor girl was SOAKED. Nevermind it being gross.... I can only imagine how uncomfortable that must've been for her and how cold :(

DH's punishment.. other than me strangling him? :P
I'm going out today and spending MONEY! MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Gonna go to Petsmart... and then maybe to Kohls... and then Once Upon a Child. *nodnodnod*
That's what he gets! ;) lol
____

DH's older sister and her husband are flying in from Cali on Wed. I can't wait for her to meet Zoe :D
I really hope that she has her own children soon. I think she is 35 or 36 now and I know she feels that bio clock ticking.
Doesn't help that she has bad endo either. I know that's a big issue with getting pregnant, but I think that's her only issue. So hopefully it will happen for her soon. I really hope so b/c she's gonna be a great mom.
____

Upped my metformin to 1000 yesterday. 500 wasn't bothering me any longer so it was time to increase the dose.
So far so good. I think it did cause a little bit of nausea last night but it wasn't too bad thankfully.
____

Still no period. I have a feeling I'm still in the TWW part of a cycle and will get the actual period hopefully soon.
This sucks BALLS.

Mmmmmm gimme that bad stuff...

Our diets are so screwed.... AGAIN.
Damn these holidays!! lol
Christmas is almost here though so won't have it as an excuse to cheat for too much longer lol.

I fixed a Hot Fudge Pudding Cake tonight and... WOW. Rich and chocolatey. I think you should be able to watch the video to the recipe. Maybe see the recipe too. If not and if anyone is interested, I can post it up.

Anywho, this week I'll also try my hand at making a chocolate pound cake and some homemade cinammon rolls. If the rolls come out delicious then I'll be making some for Christmas.

I wanted to make a garlic roast, but sirloin roasts are damn expensive :( One of these days maybe.. one of these days...
____

Finally uploaded some newborn photos of Zoe from my brother's camera.
It's so crazy how much she has changed in just 4 months. I'm sure I'll be saying that again in another 4 months :)

GAH! She was so yellow... our poor little jaundice baby...

Sleepy

Poor Zoe didn't get to bed until 10pm last night. Didn't help that we were out until 8 so her sleep schedule got all screwy.
She was pretty grumpy all day today. Hoping it was just from the lack of her usual sleep and not b/c she's getting a cold.

I dunno WTH is up with relatives or friends thinking it's OK to be around babies when they're sick!! DH's aunt was sick, MiL was just getting over whatever it was (but she thought she wasn't contagious any longer... we'll see)... and just UGH.
I want to protect Zoe, but also don't want to seem too paranoid, but damnit.. stop breathing on my baby! lol

My brother and his wife visited briefly today. I enjoy when they come and see her, but I also hate it b/c they smoke and then don't bother to wash their hands any longer when they hold her.
So when they leave, Zoe smells like she's been rolling around in an ashtray :(
I know they don't think about it but it's pretty gross picking up your own baby and smelling nothing but stank cig smoke.

SIGH!!!

I'm extra tired too. Last night was AWFUL.
Started getting a headache at the end of dinner and it only got worse after. I laid down at a little after 9 and of course after taking tylenol. It was terrible. Think it was a withdrawl from caffiene. I've been drinking Kroger brand diet Dr. pepper (whatever it's called)... and it's not decaff.
That SUCKED. Bad headaches always make me nauseous and I had a few times where I was about to upchuck.

We were going to see The Hobbit today but decided to just wait until next weekend. DH's older sister is coming to visit w/ her husband and MiL suggested maybe we wait and go see it with them.
Whatever... so long as MiL isn't sick, doesn't have my brother's girls and doesn't mind watching Zoe for 3 hours.

What else what else...
Zoe is doing this weird thing when she's laying on her playmat now. She won't play with her toys. She'll lay there with her arms straight up in the air and her hands in fists. Anyone have any idea what's going on there?
She plays in her exersaucer just fine, she grabs for her bottle when on her back and in her carseat, she'll play with this little toy thing that dangles from the handle, but lately... on that playmat... arms straight up. *shrugs*

My period hasn't officially started yet. It's more than spotting but not a flow. It's 100% frickin frustrating though.

Something cute

So, got back a little while ago from getting Zoe's ears pierced. Poor girl was not happy after.
She's sleeping it off now. She's so cute though!

When she woke up this morning... not realizing what was to come...

And a view of her a few mins ago

We have to leave them in for 8 weeks and then we can switch them out.
Don't have to put anything special on them. Just soap and water when she gets a bath.


Anywho... in light of the terrible occurances in CT.... I'll be giving her some extra hugs and kisses.
I just don't understand what is wrong with some people.

Well dangit

It's currently 8:40 and I've already been up for THREE HOURS. UUUUUUUUGH
I should still be sleeping damnit :P lol

Of course after I'm wide awake, Zoe decides it's time to go back to sleep.

Anywho....

So... no AF yet. Damnit. The spotting has lightened up some AGAIN.
I dunno WTH my body is doing but it just needs to get on with it already.
My lower back is sure starting to ache like it's AF, but it's still lagging.
So frustrating.
I hope this isn't my TWW. I mean... I hope that if I do continue to have cycles on my own (PLEASE)... I hope I don't have problems with spotting and a short luteal phase. :(
I'm not sure if my obgyn would prescribe me progesterone if I needed it.
We'll see when we get to that point. I have some progest cream left but not sure if it is still any good.

Yeeeessssss

I'm spotting again. A lot more too! WOO!
I think AF may be starting! Good lord someone check my head b/c I'm celebrating and happy to get my period lol.

Took 2nd metformin today and so far so good. Not the explosive surprises that happened yesterday.
Again...

You're welcome for that information! :D

Screwed

That is what this week is. Screwed so so screwed with dieting. I've been munching on all of this junk food. I have no willpower!
Maybe it is a good thing the metformin cleared me out.... and good lord did it.
Geeze...  ONE pill... one 500mg pill and NOTHING stayed in my body yesterday. My poor butthole.

Fat fat fatty!

DH's friends are trying to make us fat... or well... fatter.
The military family that we went on the road trip with and that are in the netherlands right now.
They sent over DH's Christmas gift and it's a big box of European junk food!
I will say... these things called Happy Hippos are fucking DELICIOUS. I think World Market might sell them so if you have one near you, go buy some NOW!
Wafer thing on the outside with this creamy chocolaty shit in the middle... OMGDIABETES.

Funny though that they would send us that considering the wife has a problem with fat people. She was one of those heifers that you secretly glare at b/c she was hiking at 9m pregnant b/c she didn't want to get fat. Yeah....
Seriously, she was I think 7 or 8 months pregnant when we visited them in Las Vegas years ago and she walked around the strip with us with no problem *glares*

Anyway...
Seriously though.... Kinder Happy Hippo. Google it up.. buy it off of amazon, world market, wherever!!
____

It is almost 2:30 right now and Zoe has been asleep since noon.
I'm so conflicted!!!
Part of me is jumping up and down for joy, while the other part is wondering and worried why she is sleeping so much! lol
I already checked and yes she is still breathing and looks fine :P
____

Took a metformin this morning and yeah... had a "don't trust a fart" moment not too long ago.
That one little pill just cleared out probably 2 days worth of food.
I know you wanted to all know what is going on with my ass. You're welcome!!

18 weeks

Zoe is 18 weeks today and as cute as ever.
First... she slept in unil just after 9. WOO! She did wake a few times but pacifier put her back to sleep.
Momma def needed it b/c I slept like crap again.

She's starting to do tiny raspberries. They're so cute. Spit flying everywhere but I don't care hehe.

She held her bottle up yesterday and fed herself. She's been kinda doing it every once in a while, but did it for the entire time yesterday.

Uhm... and yeah... she's just adorable and I love watching her grow :)
____

I can still squeeze a little bit of liquid out of my bewbs. Not a ton or anything but just a little bit.
My boobs look and feel so inflated and droopy and BLEH.... so pretty much back to normal. lol I was not blessed with perky awesome boobs.... sigh :(

I haven't spotted any more since when I reported it yesterday. Damnit....
I've had some pains in my ovaries, but *shrugs* Who knows what is going on in there.

Going to start taking metformin again today. My weight is not budging at all even with eating better. I don't have any refills so will have to call my doc when this supply runs out. Going to start off slow with it though. And when I talk to my doc, see if I can go on extended release instead of regular. My body just never got used to taking it so maybe extended would help with that.

Anyway, I think my crap sleep, along with the spotting and hair falling out is all due to crazy hormones.... and pcos. Damn body.

Uuuuuuuuuhm, there was something else I wanted to mention but I can not remember.

OO YAY!

Just went to the bathroom and there was a tiny little speck of blood on the tp. WOO! Never thought I'd be so excited to FINALLY get AF again.
Thought my PCOS was def screwing my body up (which it probably still is).
So exciting. Now I can start tracking again. Hopefully continue to have cycles on my own.
Hopefully this isn't just a tease and I will finally get AF.

Carseat & shopping carts

Forgot to mention this.
If you are still using an infant carrier... DO NOT rest the carseat on the child seat of a shopping cart. I know we always see parents do just mg this and most of the time everything is fine.
Well we were getting checked out and the bag boy mentioned after seeing Zoe in the cart, that that is what he was going to do after what he had witnessed the night before. A couple was pushing their cart to their car with the car seat resting on the top of the child seat. They hit a bump and the car seat actually fell off the cart!!
So yeah... don't do it folks!

It figures

Zone didn't wake until 8:30 this morning. AMAZING right?
Yeah it would have been If I hadn't woken up at 7:30 wide awake and not able to get back to sleep. Sigh....
And of course now I'm starting to get tired. Awesome.....
Zone seems to be doing just fine after her vaccinations. Thank goodness.
we haven't had to deal with her being sick yet. I dread the day when it happens.

And if you haven't figured it out yet... I'm posting on my kindle and it keeps changing Zoe to zone.... Damon autocorrecting that I can't figure out how to turn off!! Damon???? seriously?

Appointment

So, Zoe had her 4m checkup today and all is still well :D

She officially weighs in at 14lbs 9oz and is 24.5 inches long. Her head circ is 40. All are either just a little above or below average. Her head is below though which shocks me b/c DH doesn't have a small head, and I have a big bobble head. *shrugs*

She also got 3 vaccinations today. 1 liquid and the other 2 shots. Why do the needles have to be so damn big?? I swear, the thing is so big it would go out the other side if they tried. Geeze.

Also... we set up her appointment to get her ears pierced... this Friday! eep.
I told DH he better be there. He's the one that has to hold her after she gets her vaccinations because I feel too bad to see her cry like that.. I can imagine it's going to be the same for the piercing.

They use their own little plastic rhinestone thing that has to stay in for about 2 months before we can change them so yeah, we could've waited to buy her earrings. Oh well :P

Believe in Santa?

So there was a thread on a forum where the mom didn't see the point in Santa etc.
That is fair enough. If a family doesn't want to do the whole Santa thing.. that is totally fine... what Pissed me off was another comment from someone that got up on their high horse saying that they're not going to LIE to their child and if their kid tells other children that Santa isn't real, it won't be their fault that those kids parents decided to LIE to them.....
You know what I have to say to that person?

FUCK YOU BITCH

Yeah that's harsh of me but what kind of fucking killjoy piece of shit pretentious holier than thou would say something like that??

Teach your kid whatever you fucking want, but make sure to also teach them to RESPECT what others believe or at least not ruin harmless fun for everyone else... geeze.....

Pics and other junk

Here are some photos and yeah... not sure if there was something I wanted to mention or not..


Standing in line looking all pretty before seeing Santa

And on Santa's lap. He was a really good Santa. Took the time to ask all the kids what they wanted and other stuff.
Zoe was good for about 2 seconds and then started squirming.

OH almost forgot. We bought her some earrings yesterday. BUT she won't be getting her ears pierced tomorrow. It probably won't happen until her next appointment.


Few photos of her in her Old Navy bear outfit. ADORABLE!

And a photo I took earlier where I actually asked her
"Are you trying to eat Pooh?"
Yeah, that came out of my mouth and it took me a second to realize what I had said :P

Think that's about it.....
My boobs are feeling much better. Still kinda hurt if pressed in certain spots and they were still leaking some the last time I checked, but they feel normal.
Uhm....
Think we might take Zoe to see Santa at the mall across town next weekend. They have a professional take the photos so they may come out better. We'll see though.

Half roll

That is what Zoe is managing to do. She is just spazzing like crazy and manages to  get on to her side before she rolls back on to her back.
She just has SO much energy too. She would be all over this house if we ever buy her a walker lol.

She woke up at 2 last night. UGH. Actually earlier than that, I eventually got up with her and fed her at 2 though.
It's pretty cute... and frustrating.
Go in to her room, see that she has the blanket pulled over her head (as she usually does).. I gently pull the blanket down and she starts spazzing and smiling like it's the funniest bestest thing ever lol. Adorable :D

She slept until 7:30 this morning without a peep though. Wish it were longer but oh welp!
____

Still debating on getting her ears pierced.
I really want to do it, but MAN, the guilt I'm experiencing about causing her pain is just eating me away.
I know we could always wait, but the thought of waiting, and then her messing with them and then the holes getting infected.... just bleh. Will be SO much easier to get them done now so I can look after them.
UUUUUUGH I dunno I dunno!
DH is no help with this.... he just shrugs and tells me that it's my choice. SIIIIIIIIGH

Toys and junk...

It's so sad... I feel bad about not buying Zoe any Christmas presents yet.
We've bought her SOOOO much already, and here my pathetic ass is... feeling guilty about that. SIGH!

Actually no, we did buy her this thing as an early present

She shows interest in it, but after a minute, she'll start crying. I'm not sure why she gets frustrated with it, but *shrugs*

It is cute when she starts crying out of frustration though. She does it often in the exersaucer when she can't figure a toy out or doesn't have the dexterity to play with it properly. Like this little monkey on it. All it does it rotate/flip, whatever. She tries to flip it back to it is facing her, but she just manages to get her hands on the little 'leaves' to the side that also rotate. She starts crying and kinda throwing herself back... it's pretty frickin cute and funny.
Poor girl looks like that one drunk guy in that youtube video trying to grab his shoe.

Just ALMOST has control... but not quite yet.

We got in a box of toys a couple of days ago... or maybe yesterday.. I don't remember.
It's from DH's friends. I could say OUR friends but no, they're his friends (they're the ones we visited in Europe, and we took the road trip with last summer). They don't even try to pretend to like me. Whatever.
Anyway...
DH made me make a wishlist for crap we wanted for Zoe, they bought some stuff, blahblah.

Most of it is for when she is a little older. I would love to give it to her now though lol. Oh well. Gonna wrap them up so there is something under the tree damnit. Maybe wrap the box it all came in too hehe.

And to go slightly off topic for a minute. It's not that these friends haven't tried to get to know me.. it's just my shyness gets in the way. I'm just SO damn shy and awkward and have self esteem issues. Yeah... it's very very difficult for me to open up to people, even ones I've known for years and well, most people just don't want to waste their time... not that I blame them.

Anyway....

Oh, we bought some new ornaments for the Christmas tree this year :)

Going to switch the photo out with a family one whenever we actually get one taken.
These 2 still need a photo. Well... one will get the one that is in the ornament above, and the other... some other one.

YAY :D

And bonus photo

FX that she is still asleep when I go back in to the living room.
Wish her hair would hurry up and grow damnit! lol
She's our cute little bald-ish baby :P

And is it weird that I like cupping her nekkid butt? It's just so extremely tiny and cute and squishy!
I know I run the risk of something gross oozing through my fingers, but I only do it if I give her a bath and it's usually when I'm carrying her back to her room to dry her off and dress her.
I can't help it though. Her little butt is so adorable.. I can't help but just want to cup it in my hands!