Driving me crazy!!!

Holy crap... I can not eat in peace if Oren is awake. The child is worse than a dog with his begging b/c he'll start throwing his little baby tantrum and grabbing at my food.
I've been eating a lot of spicy food lately and I can't feed him most of it so I try to have some kind of baby friendly option nearby, but he's starting to figure it out lol.
It's SO flipping annoying though. I want to eat in peace!

And holy crap do I want to eat and eat everything!! I want savory and spicy most of the time. Pretty sure I've gained a few pounds already. I'm the heaviest I've been in a long time and that sucks.
We're going back strict again when DH goes back to work. That's fine with me w/ my cravings right now.

Still can't believe my first appointment is still 2 weeks away. TWO! Geeze. I think they underestimated how far along I am. We'll see though. Just hope everything is ok.

Lets see... I'm still tired, morning sickness hasn't been too bad. Still just gagging and some nausea. My face is breaking out a bit more. My appetite has increased a considerable amount. I think that's about it. Nothing much going on really.
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Ok this may make me sound terrible, but ..... even though I wanted another.... now that I'm unexpectedly pregnant with the 3rd... I'm not very excited about it.
Ok so there is some excitement...and of course I'm gonna love this baby as much as Zoe & Oren, but the thought of having another..... just kinda makes me more tired lol. I guess that fantasy we all have when we're first pregnant has finally worn off for me. I know what having another is gonna be like.... and with all 3 kids so young....... just.... ugh lol. I'm tired just thinking about it.
Don't get me wrong though, I want this baby.
We've been talking about names and I think we've 90% settled on Ezra if it's a boy. Girl name is still up in the air. I do like Penelope still, but it's too long. We both agreed that the name should be shorter since we have a longish last name.
I looked up some short names and saw Paige and mentioned it to DH and he kinda liked it. I like it too. I also liked Joy, but he wasn't too fond of it. Oh well.
Still a long time before we have to make a decision so it's not like there's a rush.
I'm gonna have to wear some seriously baggy clothes though b/c my stomach has already grown. Mostly b/c of everything I'm shoveling in my mouth though, but it's definitely bigger than before. Need to hide this until DH is ready to share the news.

I think we both want a minivan. At least I do. We just don't want another car payment since we got that one from my mom recently. I keep mentioning trade in to DH but we both don't know how all of that works. Will have to look in to it.
____

Zoe is also driving me crazy with her little attitude. She's now getting in to lying. Yeah.....
I dunno if it's true lying or just her imagination type of thing, but it's really annoying.
Plus her talking back has gotten so much worse now. There are going to be a lot of pops to her little behind in her future.

And we're pretty sure Oren is going to be a hitter and a biter when he gets bigger too. He already does both things, but of course doesn't understand yet. That's gonna be fun to deal with.... NOT.

Anyway... I've forgotten what else I wanted to mention.
As soon as I mentioned being tired up above.... Ive been quickly getting more and more tired lol.

Merry Day after Christmas!

Hope everyone had a great holiday :)

Zoe of course made out like a bandit. Just so... much..... stuff.
This 3rd child is going to get nothing but 2nd hand stuff. There's just not going to be any need to buy anything ever until they're much older and actually need their own stuff. Hey whatever... that's the life they'll know so they'll be ok with it :D

Oren got a couple of things. Not a lot. Really wasn't expecting much since he's just a baby.
DH went to Target Christmas Eve to spend the money my mom gave us to get the kids something. DH bought Oren some clothes and some trucks and stuff that Zoe likes playing with lol. Oren is just happy to play with all of Zoe's stuff. He follows her around everywhere. She's getting a bit more annoyed by him, but meh.. kinda figured it would happen heh.

It was a good Christmas though :) Spending the day at MiL's and just hanging out and talking with everyone.
I did experience some morning sickness though... like ALL day. At first I'm sure it started b/c I hadn't eaten, but I got nauseated after eating too. Had to hide or make excuses until the feeling passed.

Did get to see the 4D ultrasound photos that SiL got. She got some really cute face ones too. :D That baby is gonna be here in about a month, then they're gonna have to move just a couple weeks later. Yikes.
____

Getting distracted... oh small rant...
DH surprised me with a women's star wars shirt he saw on clearance when he went to Target. So sweet.... but the thing is.. the frickin shirt is SO damned thin. Like WTF is up with clothing companies thinking women want to have sheer shirts to show off their bras, OR want deep necklines to show off cleavage. Just... so GD frustrating. I just want a GD nerdy women's sized t-shirt. Is that too much to frickin ask? I don't want tiny sleeves. I don't want super thin fabric that shows everyone what color my bra is. I don't want the neckline deep to show off my boobs. Oh and please make the shirts longer than my waistline.

Before I forget!

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!! I hope everyone has a great Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate (or don't). Just hope everyone is doing well and being surrounded by love.

Before I forget again, here are some Christmas photos that I've been forgetting to post :)


Zoe posing with the Christmas tree. And then Oren not being so happy that I put him down to get a picture. Lol There are presents under it now and Zoe has been really good at not messing with them :D

The present DH made for Zoe's birthday last year that I've been meaning to post for a while. I want it to look a bit more kitcheny on the inside, but it's still pretty cool. The 'fridge' part was even painted using magnetic paint. Who knew that that was even a thing? It's not strong though so weak magnets don't stick to it very well.

 One half of the outside decorations. Other side has inflatable Santa a little reindeer and erm...... yeah.. some other stuff o_o...... I like the tinsel? decorations but such a pain trying to find room to store them... so think we'll be sticking to inflatables.... unless there is the other kind that I just can't resist lol.

And finally Santa pics. Zoe was so excited to see Santa, but she kind of shut down once she saw all the people looking at her lol. And Oren didn't know what to make of Santa. He did end up grabbing his beard at one point. Guess he wanted to make sure it was the REAL Santa and not an imposter ;)

Mmm... homemade donuts

Yeah, we're not bothering being good with diet for now. Waiting until probably the new year before we start eating healthy again.
But mmmmm fresh made donuts at home. YUM! Really easy recipe too..

https://youtu.be/lLy9ojZZFOw

I did half the batch in the sugar/cin mixture and then the other in powdered sugar. I like the powdered sugar better. Just not a fan of that sugar crystal crunch... bleh.
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Oren is getting sick again. SIGH! It would be nice if we could stop getting eachother sick.
At least I think I got him sick again. It could've been his cousin when MiL watched him while we went to the movie. She did have a cold and I'm sure she got all up in his face like she normally does.

It could've been me though too. I've been trying not to give him kisses on his face, but I did forget a couple of times.
Oh well...hopefully it doesn't end up being a bad cold and he gets over it quick.
____

Speaking of cold.. or lack there of...
It's supposed to get up to frickin 80 on Christmas Eve and Christmas! WTF?
I know some people would love that, but no...not this girl. I want the cold weather back dangit! Plus it's been raining and it's going to be cloudy so it's not only going to be warm, but super humid too. BLEH!
____

Still coughing up a lung here. So gross and annoying. Just that wall of mucus that doesn't want to budge keeps irritating my throat. I haven't thrown up, but I have kind of gagged up a little mucus. Nope... doesn't come from the wall, it's just other stuff that is being forced out. :\
____

Actually kind of worried that I don't have any symptoms yet. That nausea and gagging before must've been just from the cold/coughing b/c I haven't really had it since then. Well no, that's not true. I do sometimes get nauseous if I haven't eaten anything in a while, but that's been it really other than the coughing stuff.
I know I shouldn't worry. I think it took a while to get symptoms with my other 2. Plenty of time to get morning sickness and whatnot.

OH... I have been exhausted. Going to bed earlier and getting to sleep much much faster than I normally do. That's actually been pretty nice to actually get a good deep sleep in and falling asleep faster.
____

Anywho... time to get the Zoenator to bed :)

No more coughing please!

Ok, this cough needs to go away already. I have that wall of mucus stuck in the back of my throat that is making me constantly cough and gag. I'm coughing so much that I'm constantly peeing myself and my chest, abs, sides are aching b/c of the coughing.
I better not get Oren sick again with this. Poor guy took forever to get over this cold.
Zoe is almost over hers though thankfully.
____

Ok... something is seriously wrong with my nephew. He's 2yo and just.... super anti-social. Like seriously anti-social to the point of freaking the F out around people he doesn't know.
I mostly blame it on his parents b/c they never take their kids anywhere. Never expose him to anyone else ya know. I love my SiL and she's so sweet, but I dunno WTF her problem is with not getting her license. If she would just go get it, she could take her kids places and not be so reliant on my lazy ass brother. She knows how to drive... she's a good driver, but for some damn reason, she won't get her license. It's frickin frustrating.
Anyway....

So I went over to my mom's this afternoon. She's not planning on being here this Christmas and wanted to give us money to get the kids something for her.
So I'm over there with Zoe and Oren and my brother shows up with his boy. I open the door and the kid instantly starts freaking out. My brother pushes him in and he starts SCREAMING and banging his head against the door.
My brother kind of pushes him in more but the boy is still just totally having a meltdown and again.. full on starts to run and bang head first in to the door. Not lightly, but full force with his head. WTF?
That shit can't be normal can it?
I could see if he did it by accident, but he was doing it on purpose and HARD. If my brother hadn't stopped him, I have no doubt that he would've knocked himself out. That's how hard he was hitting his head on the door.
I dunno... just something is not right here. Obviously he needs to be socialized a lot more but the tantrum he pulled today was extremely worrying.
____

On a lighter note... have most of the presents wrapped :D DH just needs to wrap the bigger ones b/c I don't want to and we're good to go lol.
We're leaving a few of Zoe's unwrapped that we'll just bring out on Christmas.
So excited for her. Really hope she likes what she gets :)
This will be the first year where she's really understood what is going on and is excited. Shopping for kids on Christmas is so much dang fun!!!
You get to experience that wonder and excitement again through them. It's awesome!
____

We got to see Star Wars on Friday morning! YAY! Dropped Oren off with MiL and DH, Zoe and myself went to the 9am showing :D Lots of people there in their Star Wars shirts (us included).
It was a great fun movie. It kept Zoe's attention for about half of it lol. She was good overall though. Kept quiet even when she got bored lol.
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I think that's been it so far.
Oh I told my mom the news. I had to. I was dying to tell someone else. Heck, I would tell everyone, but DH wants to wait :\
I would say we could tell his mom, but his mom really loves to gossip and can't keep a secret to save her life lol.
I think DH wants to wait until Oren's birthday to share the news... pretty much exactly how I was thinking we could... (having him in a Big Brother shirt).
Man..... Can't believe Oren is going to be 1 in just a few months.
Time sure does fly by.

Results of 3rd beta

Just got a call back for the beta and result was 6800. It was 6800smething but the phone kind of cut out for a sec while she was saying it.
So... YAY :)
She transferred me to setup my appointment but no one answered so left a message. Will probably call back in just a second though.

*hours later*

Aw crap. I thought I had posted this and I didn't. Crapola... Sorry everyone for making you wait!

I ended up calling not too long after I thought I had posted and my first appointment is Jan 12th at 1:30 :)
I think by then I'm going to be past the gummy bear stage and in to tiny baby one lol. Gummy bear stage is so darn cute too ;) hehe

FX everything remains to be just fine!

Oh yeah.... I live in the south. That explains a lot

It's early, haven't gotten results back yet but I'll post again when I do.

Lets talk for a moment about how fucking racist people are though. Holy shitballs.
My state got 2... TWO refugees and people are losing their GD racist shit over that.
Seriously people???
And of course these racist assholes spouting off their fear and hate.. their go to argument when confronted about their racist comments is usually... "Well give them your address and let them move in with you then."
Seriously...... that is their best argument?? Bitch.. I'm not giving anyone my address other than Amazon.

Anyway... I'm sure it's the same everywhere, but it just makes my blood boil seeing so much fear and hate towards a group of people. Just... is this 2015??
These people are on FB so I can assume that they look at the news and from what I see...all of the crimes committed in this state so far are from Americans so.... yeah. Should be just go ahead and assume ALL Americans are murderers, thieves, rapists, etc? No?

Oh so not all white people are KKK racists that like hanging black folk? Not all black folk riot and are gang members? Not all Mexicans are drug dealers? Oh saying they are is racist and ignorant?
But it's ok to say Muslims and Syrian refugees are all terrorists?

If I could pick a superpower right now.. it would be to slap the shit out of people over the internet. I'd never get to sleep, but damn... I'd be making this world a better place one slap at a time.

I spoke too soon! Karma is getting me!

Ok so I think karma is kicking my ass right now for thinking that some of the women in my DD group were lying about symptoms lol. OK so I still think some of them were just looking too much in to things like most women do when pregnant..... but yeah.... morning sickness has started here.
Thankfully for now it only seems to happen in the morning, but that could change at the drop of a hat.
Doesn't help that I'm coughing too so coughing plus that gagging feeling.... YUCK.
Every time it happens it feels like I'm going to upchuck a lung.

This feels like it's starting a lot sooner than it did with Zoe or Oren. I can't really remember when it did with them though. Guess I could look through my posts but **LAZY**

Oh and also nothing like sneeze-peeing yourself.... snizzing? Spizzing? Well...whatever.... I cough hard and a little comes out. Awesome....
____

UUUGH, ok so against my better judgement, I've been hanging around the DD group b/c there weren't a lot of eyeroll posts.... that is until I ran across multiple ones by the unassisted birth moron spouting off how she knows better than doctors and big evil pharma companies. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
Oh and how she monitored herself through her pregnancies b/c she knew what was best and blahblah bullshit more bullshit and even more bullshit.
No... more like you're a GD nutcase with control issues.
And of course this woman posts on every single thing on the board too. Ugh......
If I want to stay there even just a little, I'm going to have to check names before reading the post and just skip over her shit.
____

On a more lighthearted rant.
FINALLY found some place that sells chestnuts!
YAY the Korean grocery store!!!!
I saw them and practically made a fool out of myself by doing a happy jump then dance after. Yes... I'm serious.. I did it lol.
But.... I don't remember chestnuts being so damn hard to frickin deshell. The outer shell is pretty flimsy and peels off kind of easily, but then you have that skin on the nut that does not want to come off.
I roasted some in the oven the other day and it sounded like all of that should've come right off afterwards, but nope! Wasted half of the nuts b/c I can't get the dang skin off the nut and when it's cooked the nut gets soft so it makes it even more difficult.
Just think of trying to deshell a boiled egg when all of the white wants to come off with the shell. That's what it's like.
WIll have to look something up. There has to be something I'm missing.
____

Zoe is definitely getting more greedy with toys around her brother. I brought down the bigger xylophone the other day and she will not let him play with it. She's going to get her butt popped if she keeps snatching it away from him.
Kinda knew this was going to happen, but it's still a bit annoying when it does. She still loves him to pieces though.
____

Was thinking about how we were going to reveal this pregnancy to everyone. Maybe do it similar to how we revealed when pregnant with Oren.
Zoe will wear her Big Sister shirt and we can get Oren a Big Brother shirt :)

And we could always wait to reveal it on Oren's birthday like we did with Zoe's. But I would be maybe around 15-17w then. Not sure if we could sit on the secret for that long. lol
We'll see what happens :)

I'm thinking way ahead right now. Right now.. I just hope tomorrow's blood draw comes back ok and the baby is fine when we do the first u/s.

Bored before bed

It's 11:13 and I need to get to bed but I'm wired on caffeine right now. Grocery store had a sale on Dr Pepper and I wanted some!!! On my third one right now. HAhahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......*twitch*

Lol seriously though.. it is going to keep me up for at least a little while longer. Doesn't help that it's warm in here and sleeping in warm weather sucks balls.

I have definitely caught my kids' colds. Started coughing more today. Just a dullish tickle in the back of my throat. Sigh.... Going to have to be strict about them smooches. Can't keep passing around these darn colds over and over again.
____

Took kids to see Santa today :D They were both so cute in their elf outfits. Too bad it was warm out and their outfits were thick so couldn't keep them in it for long.
Zoe smiled for maybe 2 seconds and then wouldn't smile again. She got all shy. And of course Oren wasn't smiling. He's in the "Who the hell are you?" phase right now, but did pull Santa's beard which was cute. Wish we could've picked more than one photo b/c I would've liked that one too, but we picked the very first one where Zoe is kinda smiling and Oren is looking forward. The rest were either just her looking off or him looking off. SIGH lol The Santa was really photogenic though lol.
____

Don't think I have symptoms yet.
I'm so skeptical... I've been kind of lurking in the August DD group and they have a symptoms thread up and all I can think of when they post their symptoms is "mm hm.... bullshit." I'm such a bitch lol.

I do think I'm having a spicy food craving maybe. And MAYBE hungrier than normal, but not sure if that one is more psychological than pregnancy :P
Like...
"Oh I'm pregnant now... that means I should be more hungry." And then thinking about food makes me hungry so.... yeah... I dunno... just overanalyzing things as usual.

I am getting that sharp pain in the uterus area when I twist/turn wrong or too quick when laying down more often now. It still doesn't happen a lot, but more than it was.
That's about it though. Nothing special going on yet.

Oh and I don't think I'll really participate in the new DD group. There are just too many woo believing women in it patting themselves on the back for going med free and pushing the baby out of their vaginas for my liking. Just way WAY too much emphasis on the whole natural thing to the point of it being NCB fantatic.
Plus there's one that is proud of the fact that she's had 3 unassisted pregnancies AND homebirths. I don't like homebirth as I've made pretty clear before, but at least get yourself a qualified midwife (CNM) to be there just in case.
She's also mentioned that she's supposedly had 11 m/c and NOW has finally found a m/w that she likes. No.. more like she finally found one that is stupidly willing to take on someone that clearly NEEDS to be in the hospital giving birth b/c she's high risk.
This woman has also mentioned loving labor, being addicted to it, and viewing it like it's her hobby. Just... no... no.
And then having women calling her super mom b/c of her stupid ass choices. Again.. just no.
I can't be active in this group b/c I don't think my eyes could stand to roll that much.
I'll lurk some and maybe post every once in a while, but it won't be like the 3 I'm already in.
At least the crunchies in those groups are crunch-lite :P They're crunchy but don't feel the need to advertise it ALL the time and remind people about it b/c they're not attention whores.

Ok so that rant was longer than expected.
____

Had something else I had wanted to mention but I can't remember. Think that's going to be a pretty common theme this pregnancy. The pregnancy brain is going to hit HARD b/c I'm already exhausted from my 2 kiddos lol

Crap! I Forgot!

Sorry everyone! I totally forgot to post yesterday with the results. They didn't call until 2:30 and I was stressed out the entire time waiting for the call.

My hcg level came back 782 :D
Put it in a beta doubling calculator thing and it says it's a doubling time of about 50 hours. That's normal I think. Doubling averages between 2 days to... something. I don't remember.
SO YAY!
I have to go back in on Wednesday for ANOTHER beta though. WTH? Not sure why the doctor is wanting me to come in again and not just scheduling my appointment already. I mean damn... someone with a regular cycle more than likely wouldn't have a number that high when they first get a positive and call it in would they?
Anyway... just hope the next number is nice and high and they'll finally schedule the appointment. Really want to see the peanut or maybe the gummi bear depending on when I get in heh.
DH is off the week after Christmas so hoping to get in then.
FX all goes well.
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I think the lady that took my blood last time thinks I'm some kind of drug addict or something.
I have very hard to find veins in my arms... and there's one spot on my left arm that is super easy to get blood from so that's where I usually point the tech person to to draw blood. I'm not a needle phobe or anything but do not like being stuck more than once.
So I point her to that spot and there's a little scar there and she asks if I had blood drawn.
Uhm... yeah.........
I'm sure she saw my blue/green hair and just assumed some bad shit too.
Then... I'm sure I didn't help anything when Zoe wanted to watch and when the blood started to go in to the vial, I said... "That's cool huh?"
SIGH......
I was just trying to make Zoe not scared of needles, but as soon as I said it I just kind of cringed to myself at how weird that probably just sounded.
Sigh again........
____

Speaking of my hair.... the color is taking FOREVER to fade! I haven't been doing anything special to fade it, just shampooing like normal. It's taken out a lot of color and it looks royally jacked up and gross right now, but there is still SO much pigment left.
Pravana blue and green are no dang joke. They're semi-permanent colors and they are worth the money b/c they're lasting for forever!!

I know I can dye my hair again w/ a funky color, but not sure about bleaching. Will have to ask whichever doc I end up seeing about it. I wanted to bleach my hair one more time... maybe my roots too but mostly just the length.
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Both kids are sick again. Just colds, but still. Well, I think Oren is slowly getting over his cold while Zoe is getting another one.
She thinks it's the end of the world when her nose runs. You would think the way she carries on about it that it's going to kill her to have boogers. SO dramatic! lol

They're both doing great though.
Oren is worse than a dog when it comes to begging for food lol. And him begging is making the dogs think it's ok for them to stat begging again too. It's pretty funny looking down to see your baby and your dogs all giving you puppy eyes lol.

Oren is loving him some solid foods though. Got him those little yogurt crisp things for babies and he loves though.... so does Zoe.
Need to get more :)

And letting him CIO that one day seems to have fixed whatever problem he was having. If he wakes up crying, he'll only do it for a few seconds before falling back to sleep. No more wailing like the roof is caving in thank goodness.

Zoe is good. She's starting to get a little more stingy with her toys when Oren goes for them. Oh well. Knew it was going to happen heh. Not a huge deal really b/c she still adores him.
She's my little munchkin though. Love my Zoe. I just need to get off my lazy ass and start teaching her things though.
Maybe next year we'll put her in to preschool.
____

One of the cat's back paws is getting puffy again. NOOOOOOOO
Noticed that he hadn't moved from the loveseat all day. Didn't think too much of it, but then when he did finally move and went to jump back on it, he couldn't jump and more or less just clawed his way up the leather couch. Yeah... there are nice big scratches in it now... awesome.
DH thinks that maybe the bad litter that he used caused some irritation. DOn't know why the hell DH used that shit. Didn't have any kind of odor control in it so as soon as the cat used it, the whole room smelled like cat piss.
But yeah... it probably did irritate is toebeans. DUnno if the swelling is going to go back down or if we're going to be faced with another $700 vet bill to get surgery on his feet again.

EDIT: Sorry for all the typos and whatnot. Don't feel like fixing anything :P

405...that's good right?

I really don't know how many dpo I am. Anywho, nurse called today and gave me my results. Said that I was early.... uhm... ok. I actually had to ask for the number and it was 405. I think that's good? I go back in tomorrow for a repeat. FX that the numbers rise like they should.
It would really help if I did know how far along I was. I think I was adding on a couple of days so I may only be 16? 17? dpo based on when I remember seeing some ewcm. I dunno though.....
See... this is what happens when you don't keep track of things! lol


I'll be back on Thursday with hopefully a good number to share :)

Beta

So I called the doctor's office this morning and of course got asked what my LMP was. Then I said my cycles are irregular which I guess starts sirens going off at the office or something b/c the receptionist got all flustered and said I needed to talk to someone else. Then she comes back and said that since I have irregular cycles, I have to get a beta done to determine about how far along I am.
She didn't normally work in that area so didn't know what to do.... sent me to the wrong voice mail to the wrong doctor so I had to hang up and call back lol.
THEN the nurse that called me back said that usually since I did know my LMP they didn't do betas, but after I explained that my cycles are irregular and this one was long, she said it was ok to come in for a beta and I went in with the kiddos and got that done.
Should hear back from them tomorrow from what I was told. Really curious to know what the number is. Hope it's nice, high and normal. No idea what DPO I am. Maybe 18? 19? 17? No flippin idea.
____

Oren is sick again. DOn't think he ever got a break from this cold and the one he had before. Poor guy. Sounds like some chest congestion and runny nose.
DUnno if it's that causing him to wake up at night or sleep regression, but the boy is getting on my nerves! So bad to say but it's SO frustrating b/c he keeps waking up and crying b/c the pacifier dropped out of his mouth. I'm doing some CIO today (right now actually). I just can't do another night of him waking up after 30mins of sleep. I already have enough trouble getting to sleep on my own.... and I'm either still trying to get back to sleep or just dosing off when he wakes up again.
He's got to learn how to self soothe and that he can find the pacifier on his own and put it back in his mouth.
I hate hearing him cry, but something has got to give.

He's ok when he's awake. Still in super clingy mode but good. He's just starting to move when he's pulled himself up. Only just a little though.
He's babbling a lot which I just love. It's so darn cute!
____

Zoe is good. Threenager is still kickin my ass with the tantrums and tude. Good grief....
Take for instance in the waiting room at the doctor's office today. I was letting her play on my phone to keep her quiet and entertained. I was asking her some questions about what she was playing and then....
"Don't talk to me."

Wha??
Didn't look up, didn't stop what she was doing...... lol Crazy drama queen.

We put up Christmas decorations on Sunday. YAY! (I'll post pics later).
Zoe had so much fun seeing it all go up and then touching all the ornaments she could reach lol.
But she keeps making herself sad by saying that Christmas is over. o_O
/shrugs
____

No symptoms to speak of. Not surprised by that. Didn't really have early symptoms with the other 2. If I move wrong or too quick while laying down, I'll get that sharp pain down low, but that's not happening often at all.

DH mentioned yesterday if I wanted to find out or wait.
Uhm... if I could know the sex now... I would. He joked about wanting to wait and I dunno.... I think he really does.
We do have 1 of both and that surprise when they're born would be amazing, but I am SO impatient when it comes to this.
I'll seriously consider it if he's wanting to wait, but... man... I dunno if I can do it. I really like the idea of doing it, but just thinking about doing it is making me stressed out lol.

We also got on the topic of names lol. Yeah, we're jumping WAY ahead here heh. I think I mentioned something about finding out and finalizing a name or something which led to this convo.
Anyway.... I still really like Penelope and Ezra, but am totally open to changes if he comes up with something else that we both like.
Anyway, it was a sweet conversation to have with him though. Lots of joking around and laughing :)

Taking a break

.....from crocheting. Making a slouchy kind of hat for my secret santa and it's just such a SLOOOOOOOW pattern and it's making my eyes cross lol.

We went Christmas shopping today. Started early with grocery shopping and it was already busy out. We went out right before lunch which was just the wrong decision b/c everyone else was out then too. I don't mind shopping, but I HATE it when the store is crowded b/c it's like they're filled with the most inconsiderate A-holes who can't be bothered to move their cart out of the way or scoot just a little over so you can get by.
And of course we have to go to the Target toy section b/c we needed to get some stuff and those isles are extra narrow for some damn reason. Or at least they seem like it, especially with half the store in that section and DH taking forever to pick between which frickin Ninja Turtle to buy for his angel kid (one of his church's 'adoptive' families this year. They put paper angels on to a tree and you can pick however many off and buy what's on it.) The kid is 6 and loves TMNT.... he'll love all of it so just pick one so we can get out of here!! DOn't get me wrong... I love that we were buying toys for some kids to help give them a better Christmas, but DH was just taking SO damn long to just pick something out.

I was wanting to sneak in some pregnancy tests, but half way through, I just wanted to leave.
Heck, I barely wanted to go get our Christmas tree.
We did it though. We just got one from Home Depot. Hey... $40something for a 7-8ft tall tree aint too shabby and it's a purdy tree :D
They had just undone them so the branches haven't fully settled yet so we haven't decorated it just yet.
It smells so good in our living room though. LOVE that smell. We're going to put wrapping paper on the wall and will probably need to move the loveseat up some to make room for it lol. It's a pretty wide tree. OH and paper on the wall to protect it from the sap. The oh so lovely smelling sap.
So happy to get a real tree this year.
As for presents... they are NOT getting put under the tree until.... heck, probably not until Xmas Eve when Zoe goes to sleep lol. If we put them under there sooner, I guarantee, Zoe would mess with them and open them up.

She's spending the night with her cousin tonight. Lord help SiL and her husband.
They took the girls to a drive in to see The Good Dinosaur and Peanuts. Hope Zoe enjoyed it and behaved. She's going to be tired and grumpy as shit tomorrow.

Alrighty... break over. Need to crochet a little more then go to bed. MOmma be tired!

Last test..

Went ahead and used my last test this morning. Kicking myself in the butt for using that one test that gave a shadow line. Maybe that was the start of something.


Anywho....here is the test and it is definitely darker. No denying it at all now... not that anyone was lol. Well maybe they were with the janky photos I posted before.
This one was taken with my phone... see how nice and clear the line comes up?? It's darker in person but still.. you can clearly see it and see that it got darker.

Now take a look at the photo my camera took of the same exact test.
Seriously?? It doesn't even look like it came from the same test.

Sorry about the formatting now. For some reason blogger won't let me switch to the one I was using. Think it's just this stupid laptop messing up. Oh well.

Oh AND I had to post it on my laptop b/c the new wireless keyboard for my computer is a total POS. It's the little USB receiver thing that is just junk. I'll type and it will take a minute for anything to come up THEN, I'm lucky if it comes up correctly. Lucky if I don't end up with about 5 or 6 lines of a single letter spamming and I can't do anything about it until it stops. So annoying.

Anywho.... enough complaining lol. Will be calling the doc next week. I'm sure they'll want me to come in way sooner than I should since my LMP says I should be further along than I am. SIGH.

I don't want that first ultrasound to not show a heartbeat b/c they did it too early.

That went better than expected

Told DH over text the news. Took a photo of the test with my phone (line showed up better on it than it did on the better quality camera.. wth)...
And sent him a text.
I'm sure he was freaking out a bit at work.
He was just surprised that I got pregnant when we weren't trying and asked what changed. I guess having some babies and sticking with the 2k metformin has helped a lot.
Then he joked that I'm getting my tubes tied :P Heck, I'm all on board with that now. 3 is what I wanted, 3 is what I'm gonna get (well... maybe more if it's multiples but yeah.. NOT even going there right now lol).... so we are going to be done done done.
And since I'll be getting a c-sec anyway, might as well get it done then. It's kinda sad to think about and MAYBE if we were younger we'd consider more kids, but no... not now. 3 is a good number *nodnod* lol

He also joked that he was never going to be able to retire, especially if we ever wanted to go to Disney lol.
Yeah, he knows he's probably never gonna be able to retire anyway. Not with how prices for everything just keep increasing but most wages (especially his) don't.

So yeah, he was shocked and in disbelief, but he took it well.

Figured out that this is probably going to be another August baby. Thinking about that makes my heart skip a beat. Heck, thinking about another makes my heart skip a beat.
Shows you how prepared I was... I've taken a vitamin once, maybe twice since Oren was born. Need to get back on that... yikes.

Ok gotta cut this short. Oren is being a bit needy and trying to eat my knees lol.

So....

This happened this morning....

Same test, just 2 diff pics and not tweaked other than cut and resized.

And a tweak with contrast and brightness...

The photos don't show it well, but it's there and it's pink.
Holy... crap.
I mean I'm shocked, but also kind of not. It's not like we've been having safe sex here and I kind of knew when I was fertile, but it still wasn't planned and I honestly wasn't expecting much of anything.
But these twinges I had felt.... I remember having them with Oren (not this early, but it felt the same). I guess what I was feeling was maybe implantation?

Anyway... even though I do want another... I must admit that this freaks me the F out too. If everything goes well... holy crud we have a lot of work to do to prepare for another.... and I might as well get the idea of not sleeping through the night for a few more years in my head. lol

I actually didn't test yesterday like I had planned... for once lol. My mystery foot injury was distraction enough and I had really thought that AF was going to show up. Don't think this has quite sunk  in yet.
Going to wait until Thursday or Friday to test again since I only have 1 more left... We'll see if I can make it until then.

Quick post

Ok, so raise your hand if you thought I'd be able to wait until Monday to test...
*raises hand*
Well I was wrong... sigh.
Just the amount of twinges and aches I've been feeling... I thought I'd for sure see something today. And there is something, but it's the same shadow BS line that has popped up the last couple of cycles.
Here's a photo... I messed with contrast/brightness to get the 2nd line to show up better. Folks with line-o-vision such as myself would see it right away IRL. But since it's so light, there's no telling if there is color or not.
Oh well...

I'm going to try my best to not test again until Tuesday. AF should be showing up tomorrow or Tuesday.. maybe Wednesday... not entirely certain when ovulation occurred but know AF should be showing soon.
So yeah.... we'll see. I have some distractions.... like kids and my secret santa thing I need to work on so will be doing that in hopes of distracting myself until Tuesday lol.

So tired

Just so tired this morning even though DH got up with Oren.
Also... kind of suspecting possible pregnancy. I've been getting definite twinges and aches in the uterus region. It's down low and twingy and achy. It always started aching whenever I laid on my back which I thought was kind of weird.
*shrugs*
We went to Walmart this morning and I picked up 2 of those 88c tests. I know they're not sensitive at all and with how any dpo I possibly am... nothing would show up, but it still helped to ease that urge of wanting to pee on something without paying an arm and a leg for some FRERs.
We did pass a box of opened FRERs in the back of the store though.... sigh... frickin ppl man.

Just got done buying some Xmas outfits for the kids. Bought them off of Sears b/c it's the only place that had decently priced Xmas outfits that I liked.
Zoe and Oren will be elves. At first I wanted Zoe to be Santa and Oren an elf, but thought it would be cuter if they were both elves when they went to see Santa :)
Should be getting those next week (not this week coming up but the week after). Hoping they'll get here sooner.

And yeah... we came home after grocery shopping, ate, I tested (BFN) and then took a nap then did what I just posted above lol.
Lazy day.
We were supposed to go get a Christmas tree but we'll be doing that tomorrow once the fam is back from church. Will be fun picking one out and decorating :) So exciting!

It was meh, but still good :)

Thanksgiving was good. The food wasn't as good as it normally is, but oh well. It was a gorgeous day and not as cold as it had been so a few of us went outside and ate at the picnic table.

While MiL and aunt were still cooking their stuff, Zoe's great grandpa was watching his FOXnews... yes.. he's a stereotypical old white guy in that respect. I swear it's all he watches and it frickin drives me up the damn wall.
Anyway, Trump was on it and UGH... I'm not political but I couldn't help but say "I don't see how anyone can support him with a straight face." B/c frickin seriously????
And then MiL and aunt chime in that they support him.
WTF??????
NO NO NO NO NO.... Dear lord NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The man is a frickin TOOL. He will ruin this country b/c he has no GD idea of what he is doing. But hell, that's most of the guys that run for president so WTF do I know :\

Anyway, we reluctantly let Zoe spend the night with whoever (probably aunt). I told DH in all seriousness last night that he is going to have to talk to his aunt b/c I am sick and tired of Zoe coming home with a dozen or more flea bites all over her body. That shit is unacceptable. You can afford to go to the beach? You can afford to go out to eat? Then your ass can afford some Frontline or Advantage. Just so beyond pissed and annoyed that this shit is still happening when aunt has the money to fix the problem.

UGH Aunt annoyed the shit out of me yesterday. She had Oren and let him stand on the floor. Ok, that's fine. Well she had to get up and instead of picking him up and giving him to someone else, she put him on the floor and let him crawl. I love MiL but their house is FILTHY and Oren is still a baby that puts everything in to his mouth, including his hands that he's now putting on the disgusting floor. UGH so frickin grossed out by that nasty shit.

Anyway... other than that really, it was a good day. Oren was in hog heaven being held so much lol.
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Oh here are those drawings Zoe did that I mentioned a while back.

Hehe... so cute in a slightly weird way :D

And here's another photo taken at my mom's house.
Love this picture

And another of Oren when he got ahold of an oreo Zoe didn't finish eating.

Yeah...... Not sure how much he actually got in to his mouth....

Sigh, love my munchkins.

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Was a little tempted to test today but no... I'm holding out until Monday.

I was feeling some slight aches in the uterus area last night and have been getting slight aches on the right O too. The uterine aches could just be intestinal though since I did eat a lot for Thanksgiving so not really putting my thought in to that.

*shrugs*

I just don't want to waste tests again and have to buy more. Sure it's all fun and stuff when Christmas isn't right around the corner. I'd much rather spend that money on presents than on more tests to waste, ya know? So yeah... b/c of that, I'm waiting. I have an unopened pack of 3 so should be enough :)

Think there was something else I wanted to mention, but Oren is fussing some and my mind just blanked lol. Oh well. I'll think of it later.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Ok so it's not Thanksgiving just yet, but almost :P
Hope everyone has an awesome Thanksgiving and if you don't celebrate it, well then I just hope you have a flippin awesome Thursday!

Made 2 pies today for tomorrow. Pumpkin praline and a sour cream lemon custard. First time making the lemon one. Right after making the custard.... it wasn't very lemony even though I added more zest and more lemon juice than the recipe called for. Hoping that it sitting overnight helps to bring the flavor out more. It tastes good, but if it's lemon, I want lots of lemon.
Also making a mac and cheese for tomorrow. First time using the recipe so I'm hoping it will be good. Sounds good which is why I picked it heh.
Just so looking forward to some good food :)

Saw my mom yesterday. She's headed to Florida today to go fishing so went to see her before she left.
Learned that she got a facelift and some lipo to get rid of her double chin a couple weeks ago lol. Yeah.. I didn't even know until she brought it up :P
She does look good though. When you think of a face lift you think of that extreme pulled back face look lol. But she doesn't look like that. Just refreshed.
Hey..whatever makes her happy.
She dropped the thing about the house. I do kind of wish we could've helped her get it, but her 'friend' wanted the money too quick. If she had just waited a little longer, my mom could've gotten a mortgage for the amount she needed. Oh well... maybe there will be another opportunity in the future.
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Ok TMI incoming...
I wear panty liners ALL the time... and I'm out of the ones I always use. Had to dig under my sink to find about half a dozen ones that I didn't like just so I could have something.
It's just that.... I get a lot of watery discharge and that crap is gross to feel on panties... plus even if I didn't.... my cycles are still irregular and not knowing when my period will arrive, panty liners are a life saver.
SIGH!!
And of course my lazy butt didn't want to go to the store when I found out I was out. So I'll have to wait until Saturday to get more /cry
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Speaking of period....I could be about 6dpo today. 5 or 6. Which means AF could be showing Sunday or Monday. Perfect time to test I think :D I have an unopened box of FRER calling me to pee all over them! :P lol
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I love love LOVE it when babies start to talk! Oren is starting to babble a lot more and it is the cutest darn thing ever. I keep trying to get video of him doing it but  he always stops right when I start heh.

And Zoe man... Zoe is SOOOOO good with him. Of course there have been a couple of times when she underestimates her own enthusiasm and strength and bonks him or something, but nothing major. And she just loves playing with him and helping out.
We really lucked out with her and how accepting of it all she has been. I remember being so worried that she was going to be so jealous (which she can be sometimes, but subtly).... and hate her brother etc etc, but that is not the case at all.
YAY Zoe for being an awesome big sister!

Sorry, I had to brag a little about that ;) I'm just so proud of her.

We have to go hunting for some adorably cute Christmas outfits for them. I really want a Santa dress for Zoe and an elf outfit for Oren. SQUEEEEE it's gonna be so cute!!

And I think we're going with a real tree this year too. DH wants to set it up right behind the couch. That way we can actually see and enjoy it instead of right when we're about to leave. It's usually set up by the front b/c of that whole tradition of putting it by the window to show off basically lol, but we can't see it from the living room. Anywho... I'm sure Zoe and the cat will love it.
Will be a constant battle to keep her away from presents under the tree too. Will probably have to wait to put them all under until like the week that Christmas falls on :P lol

Anywho, I've blabbed long enough. I do remember that I need to post some photos I said I was going to upload a while back. Will try to get that done soon..... hopefully.

Good grief

Where the heck has this year gone? Sure, a few months of it was spent in newborn sleepless zombie zone, but still... where did the other months go??
Can't believe Thanksgiving is just around the corner, then Christmas. GEEZE!
Well, I hope everyone has a great end of the year.
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Oren's poor little butt is so sore and rashy right now. We've been giving him more solids so it's making him poop more. More wiping=sore raw butt. Poor little guy is in so much pain when we have to wipe him.
Other than that though he's doing well. SUPER clingy, but he's moving around well and loves playing with Zoe.

Zoe is doing well too. She's been waking up early for some reason which is kinda annoying when I want to sleep more lol.
Girl has some serious freakouts over nothing.
Lets see.....
Yesterday she freaked out over

Getting the hiccups
It started raining
Having a runny nose

I'm talking about tears and breathing heavy and acting like the world was going to end freak outs.
Toddlers man..... grown drama queens have nothing on toddlers.

I really wish she would stop being so whiny though. Holy crap... the whine is too strong with her. And she whines about EVERYTHING. I never knew just how grating it could be.
And, girl is hungry all the way up until dinner. But when it's time to eat dinner... nope.. not hungry anymore. WTF child. lol
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So I think I may have ovulated last night. If not last night then today.
Go woken up in the middle of the night by a really bad pain on my right O area. Like a really bad gut punch cramp. It didn't last long, maybe just a 10 or so seconds.
It was not a pleasant feeling so I'm not positive it was ovulation since I can't remember it ever being painful like that. Maybe it was a cyst rupturing or something... I dunno.
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SiL failed her GD testings. Boo :( GD isn't too terrible, but when you're craving carbs or sweets while pregnant... yeah.. it sucks.
She's not overweight and didn't have a problem with diabetes or anything before getting pregnant so yeah... it sucks but heck, if I could do it twice with no prob, then she should too.
Plus, if she follows a proper diet, she may actually lose some weight too lol.

It's been a while

UGH, it's been a while since I posted last. I guess that's what happens when you have a toddler and a clingy baby lol. I'm not complaining though... well ok...yes I am a little bit :P

Baby boy is definitely in that "OMG, why are you leaving me forever!?!?!" when we get up to go to the bathroom, or to the kitchen... or anywhere out of his sight. Clingy is an understatement right now lol.
I do love it when he wants to snuggle though. When he lays his head down on my chest and just rests there. It's so dang sweet and I really cherish those moments.
Now for him to just sleep through the night already and stop waking up so darn early. Zoe woke up just before 6am this morning and pitched a damn fit about something. I'm sure that woke Oren up and uuuuuuuuugh. It was too early!!!

Zoe is doing well too. Well both of them are still sick. I think they got over that bad cold and then caught a minor little cold. Mostly just stuffy runny noses thankfully. A little bit of a cough but I think that's just drainage.
She's good though with her toddler tantruming self. She doesn't do it too often thank goodness, but when she does... YIKES.

I definitely want to put her in to a martial arts class next year. Maybe by mid summer. Will have to phone up some of these local places to see what's out there, what we need, etc etc.
 I think she'll enjoy it and it will be good for her to be around other kids and to listen to adults and their instructions.
Get her ready for some school.

Feels weird that every other mom in the mommy groups have already put their kids in to pre-k and here we are.......  Makes me feel like we're not doing enough for her, but then I think... meh... she's going to be going to kindergarten in just a couple more years anyway.
I do want to start teaching her how to write her alphabet and learn her numbers and letters a little better. She's pretty good at identifying them now, but it could be better, plus she'll have fun while I'm internally pulling my hair out out of frustration :P lol

Her drawing skills are getting better and I'm so proud of her! heh I'll post a photo of it later, but she drew a person with a body and arms and legs. That's a new one for her. She also drew a face on her balloon that has ears and glasses on it. Only reason I knew she did that was b/c she brought it in to the bathroom (where I was doing my business.... ah privacy.....)... and started telling me exactly what she was drawing.
The full figure one... it's all crinkled up and dirty, but I'm totally going to frame that sucker heh.
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I'm on cycle day 27 and I'm pretty sure I'm going to ovulate within the next couple of days. I had that disgusting giant blob of cm come out of me a couple of days ago.
Wiped after peeing and noticed the tp felt super slick down there when I wiped and of course it came up with a bunch of cm on it. Wiped again and giant gross vagina booger was on the toilet paper. BLEH!
Of course my gross curiosity got the better of me and I had to feel it to see what the consistency was and it was GROSS. You know how silly putty feels after it's been left to sit out and starts to dry up. It felt like that.. slicker but that tough and strong. Just... ew. Ok it's not super gross to me, more weird and disturbing than anything. Just not prepared for that texture to come out of my body rofl.

Anyway, I've been swiping away EWCM today so I should be ovulating soonish.
We're definitely having sex. Not to make a baby, but just to do it.
We haven't done it in a while for various reasons and we're both itching for some lovin :P lol
Plus... even though my libido is still MIA most of the time... I don't like going too long between DTD again.
If we wait too long, once we finally do it.. I'm all raw and irritated down there for at least a day after.

Anyway.... this was a whole lot of TMI! lol
So yeah.... this will be an 'interesting' tww. Thankfully I have a lot of things to distract me... like crocheting my secret santa gift and playing some Fallout 4 :D

Yep... I'm totally playing it and loving it. I usually dislike first person shooters. Not b/c I don't like the playstyle, but b/c I FREAK OUT and panic when getting attacked in games. I still do in this game too. I forget which buttons do what and get all flustered. Thankfully this game isn't too difficult most of the time so my doofy ass can get it together enough to kill some mutants and whatnots ;)

But yeah... this momma is tired and ready for bed. It's 9pm and I am done for the day!

Where the heck is the sun??

Not joking... we've seen the sun all of maybe 5 minutes total this entire week.
Good grief man.... come on nature... ease up a little and give us a little bit of sunshine. SHEESH.
From what I saw, it should let up by Wednesday but who knows if something is going to change :\
Just so tired of this gloomy weather. I usually don't mind a day or 2 of some rain, but this has gotten ridiculous. It has just totally sapped all of my energy and it was warmish so it was making it extremely humid and just disgusting feeling. The kind of weather that you sweat for no reason and it feels like you have a gross film all over your skin. Like you need a shower even though you just showered.

Anyway, so yeah.... just want some sunshine already. Gloomy weather always saps my energy add on top of that getting over a cold.... yeah.. I haven't exactly been a great mom this week.
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But thankfully we're all slowly but surely getting over these dang colds. Man, this cold has been a bitch though and it seems to be pretty darn contagious b/c we kinda sorta gave it to everyone else. Oops.
Thankfully DH never got as sick as the 3 of us did. Hope that's the same for everyone else.
Doubt that though b/c they always get sick.
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It's still so dang weird that we have 2 kids. I know I should be over that feeling by now... but I'm not.
The more Zoe starts to actually talk and make sense.. it's just weird that we made this person and boy is she starting to talk a lot more.
She still talks gibberish a lot... but she's also talking clear (to us) sentences too.
Like when I put Oren in his room really quick on the floor. He made his way out in to the hallway. She went over to him and exclaimed to him.. "Welcome to the party zone!!!" LOL just... Where the heck did she learn that??
She just makes us laugh so much with her actions and what she says (that we understand lol). Love my munchkin so much.
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Oren is starting to pull up. We had to lower his mattress yesterday. He will sometimes pull up to his feet, but it's mostly just to his knees, then he can't figure out what to do next most of the time so either starts crying, or falls backward or to the side..... and starts crying :P
Gosh... can't believe he's doing this already though. They really do grow up so darn fast.

He's been SUPER needy lately though. I don't mind snuggling with him, but then he'll start squirming and will start trying to grab everything so it gets a bit frustrating. Just want him to sit content and let me snuggle with him while I watch tv :P lol
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We're still trying to figure out what to get Zoe for Christmas. I want to get her so much, but also not too much b/c she really doesn't need a lot.
We're not planning on getting Oren much. I want to get a little basket ball hoop for both of them. That can be his present, but other than that.... yeah, he's not going to get anything. He'll get plenty from everyone else.
Zoe... we  still have to get her a tricycle, helmet and I want to get a basket and bell for it too.
I want to get her something else, but can't decide what. We'll def get her some of those mystery/blind bag things that are really popular right now, but that's stocking stuffers. *shrugs* we'll figure it out.
It's so fun shopping for kids on Xmas.. and even better now that Zoe is actually excited for it and knows what's going on heh.

How about no....

UGH.... ok this is going to make me come off as a huge bitch but... here goes...

One of DH's cousins wants to move to NY. She likes doing stage acting stuff and was offered a small part on some off broadway production so she wants to move to NY.
Great right? Well, problem is is that she has no money to move and so decided to start a GoFundMe donation page.

Just.... what? And No..... Maybe just maybe she should've been saving her money to begin with. She lives with her grandmother and pays for nothing so where her money goes is beyond me. Oh.... AND she has no license any longer b/c bitch got pulled over twice for DWI so had it suspended b/c she's an idiot.... so she's not paying for gas to get around to wherever. And I say bitch b/c seriously... you are one if you decide to drive after frickin drinking.

And DH's sister keeps sharing the link to her GFM page and all I want to do is post a giant LOL NO.... on it every single time.

And I should mention that she's almost 30yo.... and while living with her grandmother.. makes her grandmother do everything for her. Cook, clean, do her laundry, etc etc. Her grandmother is not in the best of health and can't move around easily. So yeah.... it's really not that surprising that she wants other people to give her money to move.
Just the nerve of some people.
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Speaking of nerve of some people... DH's grandfather is a giant royal pain in everyone's ass, especially his mother.
Poor MiL is the ONLY child of his that is taking care of him. Nevermind that 2 of his other kids live right across the street. Sure the other 2 do have jobs, but that doesn't mean they couldn't come over and help out every once in a while.
Anyway... DH's grandfather is just being a giant dickface since his stroke. They think the stroke changed his personality some and also made him depressed. I get the depressed part.... but damn dude... stop lashing out at the one fucking child that is taking care of your ass.
Seriously.... he's gotten some bug up his ass and keeps telling her that she's worthless and that he's going to change his will and leave her with nothing b/c he doesn't like the way she spends money.
MiL is a bit of a hoarder.... I'll give him that, but WTF does it matter what she spends any money on after he's dead? Like it's going to matter to him after he's gone.
Just UGH.... it's so GD frustrating b/c she takes care of him so well and then has to just be burdened by his verbal abuse now and can't really say anything back to him.

Told DH that we need to get her a really good Christmas present. With everything that she's been having to go through.... she deserves something good.
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DH's other sister (the older one that is pregnant), took all of our old baby clothes. Did I mention that already?
You don't realize just how much you have until it's all in front of you and BOY was there a lot lol.
She looked through some of it while here, but took it all back to MiL's house to sort through. She bought her own bins and from what MiL said, spent hours going through it all and sorting it. She took all of the clothes up to 6m and plans on having the larger size stuff mailed to her. Just so happy to help her out. Heck, we would've given her the rock n play, swing, bouncy chair.... everything if we could have lol. A lot of those clothes were only worn once, maybe twice.
I did have to keep 3 things though. Should've kept more, but oh well. I had to keep my most fav outfit that I first got with Zoe, had to keep Oren's awesome little brother onesie and erm... there was another one that I can't remember now lol.
Anyway.... I think she and her husband are in Illinois right now, house hunting. They have to move in February.. you know... the month she is due. :\ She's going to have a newborn baby and have to DRIVE from California to Illinois. YIKES. Thankfully newborns sleep a lot........ that's still going to be rough on them.
Anyway.... can't wait for her to finally have her baby. She's going to be such an amazing mom.
When she was looking through all of the clothes she was already talking about saving the boy stuff for when she has a boy. Awwww.... really hope she does have another :) She'll probably have to have it not too long after her first since she has some issues with endometreosis(sp?). Not sure how quickly that starts becoming a problem again after birth.
Anywho.... just so happy Zoe and Oren are getting more cousins :)
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Oh Halloween was fun. We didn't do anything most of the day lol. But we all got dressed up and took Zoe to DH's churches trunk or treat thing. That was really cute. DH wants us to participate next year. I'm cool with that, but we need to come up with a good idea for it.
We left there pretty early, so we went and got something to eat, then came home and took Zoe around the neighborhood to trick or treat. Thankfully there seemed to be more people giving out candy this year. Not as many people driving around the neighborhood trick or treating though. Probably b/c last year was so bad.
But there were a good bit of kids walking around.
Still not what Halloween used to be like when I was little. Man... those were the good old days. Going out with a pillowcase b/c you actually needed that much room for all of the candy you were going to get. Now... you're lucky to fill up one little bucket.
But anyway... Zoe had a lot of fun getting candy and treats so that's what matters.
She keeps pretending to go trick or treating. Gives me stuff to put in to her basket lol.
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We're all still sick here. Just really bad colds. I haven't been this sick in years. We're getting better, but still sick. Stuffy noses and in to that uncontrollable coughing stage.
So fun :\

Anywho... I think that's about it.
We're all sick, but still doing ok.

UGH!

And we're all fighting a bad cold.... well everyone but DH, but I'm sure he's gonna get sick soon.
My throat hurt SO bad yesterday when I tried swallowing. Had to take Tylenol to try to help it. It did a little thank goodness.
Oren keeps waking up crying b/c he coughs and can't breathe well b/c he's congested. He's also not eating as much as he usually does b/c of it.
And poor Zoe.... hers got delayed a little and she started coughing yesterday and yeah... it got quickly worse over the day.
Still thankfully only low grade fever for her that gets a little better during the day. She's so worn out though and freaks out when her nose starts running lol. Like it's the end of the world b/c she doesn't have a new Kleenex in hand to wipe away the snot :P

So yeah.... whole lot of fun in this house.
It was our anniversary yesterday, but DH had to work, then went to inlaws house to visit with his sister before she left. Meh.... I wanted to stay home with Oren and get us some rest. Zoe wasn't that bad before they left but when they got home she was a lot worse. Poor baby.
Probably didn't help that DH stayed to watch TWD so they didn't get home until 10:30 lol.
But man... this season of TWD is INTENSE so far! Holy crap.

Anyway.. he's off today. We still haven't done anything b/c 3 out of 4 of us feel like shit. We should've gone grocery shopping but haven't. I really should've cleaned up Zoe's puke spot... but I haven't yet... (gross I know).... just a lot of stuff is on the backburner until I have more energy.

And we're sick...

Oren, Zoe and myself are all sick. Poor Zoe had fallen asleep early the other night. Woke up right before we went to bed and threw up everywhere. Thankfully no more throw up, but she has been running a low fever since then. It's 9:30 and she's still sleeping. She woke up at 6 this morning for some water and laid in bed with me.
And Oren is super congested. Think his sinuses are draining and it's giving him this gawd awful sounding cough.
And myself... just have that overall BLAH feeling where one min I'm hot and the next I'm cold. Runny nose, slightly sore throat, and a headache.
Pretty sure we caught this at the fair. Could've been the zoo too I guess, but we touched a lot more stuff at the fair.

Not sure if we'll be taking Zoe to her first trunk or treat event this Halloween. It's at aunt's church and I just don't want to expose any other kids to this.
Anywho... yep.. that's what is going on here. Just sick and feeling like crap.

Why????

I have some anxiety issues and this shit is not helping.
My mom called earlier. Thought it was going to be the normal reasons... b/c she wants to see her grandkids or she needs me to get ahold of my brother for her for something.

NOPE.... she called because she wants us to take out a 30k loan for her so she can buy a house.
What? NO!!!
She along with a few other family have this weird idea that DH and I are swimming in money. Like we wipe our asses with hundred dollar bills or something.
Granted, she did say loan, but 30k? That's a lot of money. She is good on her word that she'll pay it back, but still... NO.
Would I like to help if I could? Sure.... but when it comes to money? No. It's not that I'm putting money over her by any means... it's just that if something were to go wrong..... we'd be SCREWED. My DH's credit would be the thing to be totally fucked up.
It's why she can't get the loan. B/c she did favors for others and they screwed her over.
Again, I don't think she would do that to us, but if something unexpected happened.... we would be the ones taking the hit like she did years ago.

I already told her not to expect good news once I talked to DH about it.
It makes feel horrible for saying no, but this is just too much. We have 2 kids to take care of and think about their futures and OUR futures.
Hell, my mom already used my name on her home without me even knowing. Lord knows what else is under my name. I don't even want to think about that shit.
Oh and of course she uses that as a plus. When she moves out of her apartment, we can sell it for 30k or something and keep the money! HA... no..... her apartment is not worth 30k... and even if it was.. no one in their right mind would pay that to live there...... no one.

Thanks mom for putting us in this shitty situation! We get to tell you No and feel guilty and like giant pieces of shit about it. Thanks so much for that!!

Am I wrong for feeling this way? What would you guys do?

And here she is

AF has arrived. I was a little off to when I thought it would come but not much.
And this last cycle was long... 45days. I'm not complaining too much about that though. It's nice to actually have cycles and ovulate.
I actually had a tiny amount of spotting yesterday, but AF didn't actually start until I got up this morning. Literally got out of bed and gush.... ew.

Anywho! On to a new cycle and waiting to see if we get pregnant or not lol.
I had a dream last night that the other SiL found out she was pregnant and I just got AF in the dream and it broke my heart that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not heartbroken now or anything, but I am a little disappointed. I really do want another, but like I've said... if it doesn't happen, then I am perfectly happy with my 2 amazing rugrats :)

OH! Oren had his checkup the other week. He was 20something pounds and I don't remember how tall he is. He's good though. He had 2 shots. Flinched for the first, and then flinched and cried a couple of seconds for the 2nd one lol. Aww.
Vaccines don't knock him out like they did for Zoe.
___

And yep... here are a few photos from the last couple of days! :D

At the fair

And at Boo at the Zoo last night

Zoe didn't want to wear her Darth Vader mask, but she wanted to wear the Zebra one she got :P
The last pic was from a magic show that they had going. It was the last show and pretty late so only a couple of kids there. She got to help the magician out... but as you can see... she was eyeballing the tube of candy the entire time lol.

And it's a big fat.......

NOPE :\
Stupid FRERs.
Test this morning is BFN. Thankfully it's looking like this test has no questionable faint line on it like the previous one did.
AF didn't show yesterday. Good thing b/c I totally forgot to wear a pad! That would've been hella embarrassing. I could've been a day or so off with when I got AF too so it could start today too. Tomorrow at the latest I think. If AF is still MIA tomorrow, I'll go get more tests and test again, but I don't think that will be necessary.

Boo for BFN :(
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The fair was really fun yesterday. First time letting Zoe ride on anything and she frickin LOVED it! Holy cow did she love it. Especially those swings that get lifted in the air and swung around in a big circle. She had a huge smile on her face the entire time she was on them and started rocking her seat back and forth.
We didn't buy one this year, but next year... a ride pass will be a good investment.

I also got sunburned... awesome. Stupid me didn't even think about sunblock or anything b/c it was cold out. Yeah... sun don't stop working just b/c it's cold LOL. Oops. Both kids are ok though.
Overall it was really fun. Zoe and her cousin didn't listen to anyone for shit, but we l figured that would happen.

Tonight we're going to Boo at the Zoo with almost everyone. Need to modify my dress some before. Make it look a bit more like a stormtrooper. Need to figure out what we're going to do for Zoe's costume. If she's going to wear what she did to the con or if we're going to try the actual costume on her. Need to take the shoes off of it.

FX that my period, if it shows, stays light b/c my dress is white....... yeah...that would suck if... well.....yeah.

Well... shit....BOOO FRER!!!!

So I decided to test this morning like I said I was going to do. Saw that I actually have 2 FRERs left, WOO! lol
I first used the walmart one I had. Meh....
Then used one of the FRERs. Well... something is on that FRER but with how they were before... I don't know if it's just a shitty test like previous months or if it's actually a 2nd line.
It's very faint, but it's not a case of line eye this time. There IS a very faint line there, but I can't see color...or well.. one min I think I do, then the next I don't.

I tried getting a photo but we all know how that turns out lol. Here it is anyway with the contrast/brightness enhanced some.

It's hard to see it but trust me.... it's there. I swear it's not a case of line eye or wishful thinking LOL.

Grrr, it's like trying to take a picture of a pretty moon.... your eye sees one thing and your camera picks up none of it!

Damnit FRER.... why you doing this to me again? SIGH!
I'm not going to test tomorrow. Oh not b/c I won't be tempted, but mostly b/c we're going to the fair and DH will be home and all that good stuff, so I'll be distracted :D But if period is MIA, I'll test on Tuesday.
I think by then, IF there is something actually there that's not just a faulty test, it should be obvious.

BOOO, wish there was another good pink dye test out there. Sure there's Answer, but they've been really bad with indents before.
Why do all of the store brands have to be blue dye?? SIIIIIIIGH!!!!

Oh and I still don't really think I'm pregnant. There's been no weird symptoms or anything... not that I really expect anything this early if I was.

EDIT:
Ok, it's been about an hour and looking at the test more in different light.. it appears to be just a faulty test..... at least that's what I think. We'll see though :) I'm still wearing a pad to the fair tomorrow :P

Noooo, I was one of 'those' people!

So DH's sister is in town and we went out to dinner tonight with them.
After everyone is done eating, she comes over to our side of the table and we start chit chatting with her. She starts talking about how she's been having a little bit of pain on her side. Nothing serious, but obviously she's concerned and calls her doctor to ask about it and they tell her to go to the ER to get it checked out if it happens again and it does. It's nothing but she wanted to be sure before she got on a plane.
And I turned in to THAT person. One of those people that make a stupid ass comment to a pregnant woman.
For some reason I got it in to my head that she was further along than she actually is and I said..
"Your sis would've been on the news if she had given birth on the plane!" Yeah.... she's only about 24-26w.............. so giving birth now would not be a good thing.... AND SiL has had 2 m/c before.
Just.... ugh. As soon as it came out of my mouth... I remembered that she wasn't as far along as I thought and... yeah.... see... THIS is why I don't talk much IRL b/c awkward stupid shit always comes out. SIGH! /facepalm

Thankfully if it did give her pause, she didn't say anything and kept the conversation up. Still though.... I just want to bury my head after saying that.

Anyway... she's so excited about being pregnant and she looks so amazing too. She has one of those cute perfect D bumps. She's going to make such a great mom. She already is a great mom. That's one lucky little girl she's having.
I just wish they lived here so all of the cousins could grow up together.
____

Think I'm going to test tomorrow. I don't think I'm pregnant, but meh.... I'll test anyway. I think my period is going to start on Monday (the day we're going to the fair.... awesome...). I could wait until then, but again... meh lol.
I'm def getting some PMS headaches which sucks ass. And I noticed last cycle that I get extremely irritable after ovulation. A bit too quick to yell at Zoe which then makes me feel guilty for doing it. Thankfully once it happened a couple of times, it dawned on me why so I'm better at keeping myself in check after. So that sucks, but hey... at least I am ovulating and having cycles (even if this one was very long) so YAY :D

Clean water would be nice

It takes about 3 and a half bottles of water to clean 3 bottles, 3 nipples, 3 bottlecaps. That's a lot of bottles for just that amount of things to wash. I refuse to use boiled water b/c while that may kill any bad bacteria, it's not going to get rid of any harmful chemicals that could still be in the water.
So yeah... I'm glad we started up an emergency stash b/c it's def coming in handy right now. Still though.... wish the water was safe to use already.
We've been eating sandwiches and eating out to keep from dirtying up anymore dishes and the ones in the sink REALLY need to be washed. So gross to leave them just sitting there b/c again.. I just refuse to use boiled water.
Washing in it... washing hands in it. I"m fine with... but ingesting it? No thanks.

While I've been enjoying eating sandwiches... it would be nice to be able to cook something if I wanted and be able to wash the dishes after.
Oh well.... minor-ish worry. It could've been worse here and I'm glad it wasn't.
____

Zoe had a monumental meltdown this morning. Good googly moogly she just had a screaming fit b/c I took the tablet away from her. She gets super frustrated with it b/c it will freeze or go off or whatever. So I told her to calm down or I was going to take it away. Her response was "No! It's mine!" Then proceeded to whine some more. Yeah... I wasn't having that so I took it away from her.
Cue the tantrum. Been making her go sit on her bed until she calms down and that just didn't go over with her well either.
Oh the joys lol....
She eventually started crying and carrying on b/c she had to pee, so I allowed her to come out and do it and she was fine after that.
I'm sure it's normal, but dang....I wish she wouldn't whine so damn much. Whining was annoying before kids, but now that I have one that constantly does it... holy hell! lol
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Oren is doing well. He's cutting his top teeth right now. Or well, they're almost popping through.
He's been good though. Still army crawling and doing his baby yoga downward dog poses all the time.
He has his appointment later this week on DH's birthday. I'm sure he'll be getting a couple of shots then. Poor little guy doesn't know what's comin.
He loves Zoe though. Always, ALWAYS has a huge smile on his face when he sees her and follows her around the living room.
She loves him to death too. Maybe a little too much sometimes b/c she's sat on him, laid on him, rode him like a pony, and yeah......
She obviously doesn't understand that she could hurt him.
I think we got really lucky with our little monkeys and how much they adore eachother.
Of course that's right now though... who knows what they'll be like when they're older lol.
____

Oh and Zoe's cousin had her birthday party at Chuck E Cheese this past Friday. First time there for Zoe and she loved it. It was SO loud and crowded though so it was difficult to get on any rides or play games. She still had a lot of fun...... so much so that she once again had a full on screaming tantrum when it was time to leave.
Sigh........