Anyone want a cat?

I want to get rid of our cat SO bad. I love his fat ass, but I can not take his random pissing and shitting everywhere any longer.
Other than being fat and lazy, there is nothing wrong with him other than his attitude.
He frickin pissed on our old couch and now it smells like cat piss from the front door all the way to the back. It's nasty as hell and yeah, I wish we could give him away, but only to someone that we know would take care of him right... which is like none of our family.... so we're stuck with him.... sigh. He used to be such a great cat too :(
I hate feeling this way about him, but this is getting out of hand now with the pissing on furniture.
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I keep forgetting to mention that I'm only pumping twice a day now.It's almost time for me to stop.
It's working out as I hoped it would.
Zoe is eating 5-6oz and that's just way more than I produce so she is starting to get more formula now.
Kinda bitter sweet, but I'll be glad to not have to pump any longer.
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Oh and we also bought one of Zoe's Christmas presents. Of course we already gave it to her hehe. We're gonna have to wrap empty boxes or something just so we can take photos of her in front of a bunch of "presents". lol