Happy Mother's Day to me?

Well this day is starting off..... so great :\

Lets start from yesterday afternoon though. I just started pumping and here comes Zoe holding her arm out w/ something on it. Yep... it was poop. I have her turn around so I can see if it's gone up her back and it did a little but didn't look that bad.
Knowing how sensitive her butt is... I take her to the bathroom to shower her off instead of wiping her.... I stand her up on the toilet set to take her diaper off and diarrhea just start plopping out EVERYWHERE. She's freaking out... I'm freaking out trying to contain the splatters.
I am shocked the diaper was holding it all b/c there was a TON of it.
Keep in mind that I'm still in my pumping gear minus the bottles attached b/c I didn't want to bend over and spill out what I had pumped. I was leaking everywhere though.
I get her all cleaned up finally...get all of the poop cleaned.. and yeah....

She had poop again before bed but DH cleaned that. Was nothing compared to what I dealt with.

Fast forward to this morning and she wakes up... everything seems fine until she gets in to bed with me and she starts crying. She leans over towards me and I get a whiff of poo. I ask if she has poop and she says yes so I take her to her room to change her.
The poop was disgusting. SHe had gotten in to a pack of sugar free gum yesterday (no idea where she got it) and there were little while clumps all in it.
That wasn't the worst part though. She must've gone while she was sleeping and was stewing in it for a while b/c her poor butt and girly bits are just totally irritated and red and hurting her. She could do nothing but scream and cry and try to move away from me while I tried to wipe her clean.
I tried washing it off but that didn't work either b/c I still had to touch her in those areas and that still hurt her just as much as the wiping. Eventually just had to try to wipe as much as possible off which was accompanied with lots and lots of tears and screaming from her.

I finally get her clean, get some cream on her butt and get a new diaper on her.
Little bit later... she must've peed and it burned the irritated area b/c she starts screaming again. Of course she does it in the same room with Oren and wakes him up so he starts screaming too.

And she pooped again just a little bit ago and kicked me multiple times in my boobs. Fucking awesome.......
I have her diaper off to get her butt some air to help heal it and she's already peed... which again, stung that area so she starts crying again.

And it's only 10:35am..........
Of all the weekends DH had to work.... this shit just had to happen on this one.

I feel so bad for Zoe. I know it has to hurt so much and she doesn't understand that I need to wipe her so it doesn't hurt more.
Just... ugh.... Going to go clean out our big garden tub and take a nice soothing hot bath with her later and hope that helps.

Sigh... just hope things start getting better here soon.

EDIT:
Forgot that last night, after pumping, I go extremely nauseated and ended up throwing up a decent amount.

And so far...nope.. things haven't gotten much better. In between her stinging pees... things are normal, but when she pees and it hits her sore area... scream city.

Yeah... I just fixed myself some fudge and just waiting for it to set in the fridge. Screw healthy right now...mommy needs chocolate comfort.