Rough night

Poor Zoe was not cooperating with mommy and daddy last night.

She went to sleep fine like she usually does at night, but she spit up which woke her up and after that... it all went downhill.
She was not having any of the swaddle and screamed her head off until she was out of it.
DH stayed up with her until she went to sleep and to let me get to sleep since I was tired.
Well... she didn't get back to sleep... I woke up at around 12:30 (after going to bed at 11 something), and she was crying while he was trying to feed her.
I relieved him so he could go sleep.
I tried swaddling her again but nope, so just put her in some footie PJs.
Fed her a little, rocked her some, then put her in the rock n play where she slept. I tried sleeping right beside her on the recliner. Not very comfy and I kept waking but it was better than nothing.
Was tempted to pull her in to the bedroom in the RnP... may do that next time if it happens again.. which I'm sure it will.


My body is still all screwy. Haven't gotten a period yet which the OB said is normal and I may not get it for a while since I'm pumping. I am still randomly spotting though. It's never a lot. Just a spot of something on my panty liner when I use the bathroom and that's it.

Pumping still sucks balls. Keep getting less and less even though I'm pumping for longer periods. Can't frickin wait to stop!!

7 weeks

Almost forgot to post this lol.
Have who knows how much time so I'll keep this short.

Zoe is 7 weeks old today. Almost 2 months old. WOW.
It's still surreal sometimes when I look at her. Just get this strange feeling when I think about that mine and DH's body made this new little person. It's so frickin weird rofl.

As for the hair... BLEH! I hope mine doesn't start falling out. It's nice not having clumps of hair coming out when I brush it and my hair ALL over the place.


Zoe photos!!

Waving 'Hello!' Mommy needs to clip those talons.

Chillin on mommy's lap, today (the footie PJs) and yesterday... and yes... I'm wearing the same thing :P heh

Took this just a few mins ago. She was screaming her head off b/c she was tired. Poor baby looked so miserable when she finally succumbed to the Sandman.

And finally, I caught a smile! YAY! It's a great big one too. She's so cute! She looks a lot like her aunt (DH's oldest sis) in this photo.

My hair looks great at least

Zoe's sleep schedule is still somewhat screwy.
She wakes up once during the night... just depends on when she went to sleep.
She was resisting sleep since around 4pm... catnaps and lots of fussing until around 9 when she was just too pooped to fuss any longer. Finally went to sleep a little after 9.
She woke up at 4 which I was thankful for even though I was super tired.
THEN baby girl didn't want to go back to sleep b/c she was too busy squirming her way out of her swaddle. SIGH. I finally got her to get back to sleep at about 5:30, and then she just woke up again at 7:30. Yeah that seems great... 2 more hours of sleep for me, but ya gotta remember that I have trouble getting back to sleep :(
It's like if it is not tight enough to keep her arms pinned, she'll do her best to get out of it and will keep herself up. She just does not like swaddling.
I haven't been bothering with it during the day. Hoping that eventually she'll get used to her little flailing arms and it won't wake her up any longer so we can just stop w/ the swaddles.

Anywho, I'm pooped right now, but as the title says... at least my hair is looking good.
Thankfully it hasn't been falling out like it used to. Not sure if it will, but man, I hope not.

Looks like I've gotten MORE stretchmarks where those ones popped up at the end of my pregnancy. WTF?? Bleh... stretch marks are so damn ugly!!

Uh... feels like I had something else to mention but I can't remember.
I'll post some new photos soon if I can get around to doing it.

Hard work

Zoe should be waking any moment now so this will be short.
Things are good so far this week. Zoe has really been struggling with sleep. Poor baby doesnt know what she wants.
The other night she screamed bloody murder bc she didnt want to be swaddled. Shes ok for the first half of the night but the 2nd.... pfffft. Total crapshoot.

____

I'm ok. DH and I started primal again. It's never going to be super strict like the first time we did it, but this is better than nothing... although a giant slice of chocolate cake sounds awesome...heh.

I'm at 195 today, so fx it will start going down and staying down from now on until I'm pregnant again...hopefully.

You never think it will be you

I kept reading and people kept telling me about when their babies would first sleep through the night.
They'd freak out and wake up to see if the baby was ok, and wonder if the baby was sick or something.

Zoe didn't sleep through the night but she did sleep a lot longer than normal last night and YEP.... I was one of those parents.
She went to sleep at around 9:30. She didn't wake up until 4. I woke up at about 3 b/c I heard her kind of huffing like she does when she's getting frustrated.
When she didn't wake up from doing that, of course worry-mode kicked in lol.

Sigh... oh well.. I'm sure there will be many many many more worry moments like that in her life.

Poor lil Zoe does have a rash though. It's on her lower cheek all the way around to her neck. :(
Gonna keep the area clean and as dry as possible and hope it clears up. Doesn't seem to bothering her so thank goodness for that.
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My nips aren't as tender any longer and I'm not sure why. Maybe it was the long rest from pumping last night. The last time I pumped was at 8:30 or 9, and I didn't pump again until I woke up at 3. Then I didn't wake until 8 this morning so *shrugs* Maybe it helped to not pump for a little bit to let them heal.
Hopefully they won't get sore again. Frickin sucks when they're all tender.
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Not sure what is going on with my body right now, but I am HUNGRY. I just want to eat and eat and eat until I'm nauseated. :(
I'm def not thirsty b/c I've been drinking more than usual....
We're going back to a better diet this coming week. I know doing that will cause me to get hungry as well, but with less junk in the house, at least I'll be stuffing my face with healthy foods.
I had to have gained at least 3lbs this week.... I can tell my stomach is already bigger than it was before. BLEH! Not for long though....
*jiggles stomach* Thou shall not be jiggly for much longer!!!
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And on some random notes.... saw Cabin in the Woods a few days ago. OMG... one of the best horror movies I've seen in a VERY long time. So original, interesting and just... I dunno... AWESOME!! I loved it!

Another random bit of info.... I've been feeling like I've had a bat in the cave (booger on the edge of my nose) for about a week now. I'd swipe my hand or kleenex or whatever on my nose but would still feel it.
I finally looked in the mirror yesterday and it was one of those weird thin clear hairs growing out of my nose!!! I pulled it out and that thing was almost an inch long! Holy crap and ew! lol

And finally... there's a toad boneyard where our dryer vent is.
The idiots that built this house put the dryer vent below ground level. We had to get them to dig it out and create a hole so ya know.. the dryer could vent....
Anyway... there's a metal barrier to keep the earth from filling back in. It's about a foot or so deep. I just noticed today that there are numerous mummified toads and toad bones down there.
It just makes me feel so bad that they got stuck down there and died most likely very slow deaths :(

Sleep... glorious sleep!!

Zoe has slept SOOOOO well today! WOO!

DH got up with her first last night at 2:30. I had to get up anyway to pump, but it saved me 30mins.
She then got up at 6:30! WOO! That's pretty late for her.
I fed her, put her back to sleep, then pumped. I figured by the time I was done, she would be awake in an hour anyway so I decided to stay awake (that's when I posted here).
I stayed up until 8:30 I think... she hadn't woken up yet so I went and laid back down.
I fell back to sleep but woke up a few times b/c she would let out a noise like she was waking. Nope... she slept until 10:15!!! WOOOOO! OMG That was AWESOME lol. I could've slept longer of couse but she wasn't going back to sleep this time heh.

Anyway, she slept really well for the rest of the day too. Not a lot of fussing and when I'd put her in her RnP and cover her w/ one of her many fuzzy warm blankets, she'd fall asleep.
At around 1:30, she went to sleep... didn't wake up until almost 4:30 O_O!!!!!
Damn, too bad I, for once, wasn't tired or I would've been snoozing right there with her lol.
But man... today was nice *nodnod* I enjoyed it while it lasted b/c lord knows.. it probably won't happen again lol.

Tonight, she smiled at her grandma (MiL)... MiL was SO frickin happy about it too heh. It was sweet though and MiL was amazed that she was smiling. Dunno why... everything I've read says that babies can start to smile at people now. Anywho, it was really cute... then Zoe started crying of course :P

B-day quickie

So my birthday was yesterday.
DH totally fooled me. He made me think he had either forgotten my birthday or was just being an ass (he does that well :P)... so I was pretty much on the verge of tears the entire day. That is until he surprised me with a cake and a kindle fire. Bastard....

Think this is the first birthday I've had in a long time where I didn't go to bed crying. Yeah.. I've had some shitty ones that DH has contributed to so it's not that far fetched that he was being a forgetful ass.
UGH that makes him sound like a total jerk, but I swear he isn't lol.
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Zoe is resisting sleep like a mofo.
She still has her schedule at night, but during the day, she does not like napping for more than an hour at a time. An hour seems like a long time but it really isn't. Not when she's constantly waking herself up during that time and then the poor girl gets so fussy b/c she's tired.

And yes... crazy me wants to do this all again soon hehe.

Don't get me wrong... this is ROUGH... I am SO frickin tired and get so frustrated sometimes, but I dunno... it's not detering me from wanting to do it again and be even more tired w/ having to take care of a newborn and Zoe when she's older.
Seeing Zoe's little face... imagining the possibilities... then doing that for her possible siblings... I'll gladly do this all again w/ the added stress :)

Honestly, I'm not sure I'd feel this way if we didn't have our TTC struggle. Maybe I would have, maybe not, but I think our struggle has just made me appreciate all of this a lot more.
And before anyone reads in to that... no I'm not saying I appreciate this more than a fertile woman.

6 weeks

Ok baby girl... it's time you start sleeping through the night until say... 9am :P rofl... oh how I wish!
It's not too bad, it just mostly sucks when she wakes up the 2nd time b/c she has been resisting going back to sleep and then waking up just an hour later. BLEH!

She's good though. Still constipated, but overall seems to be ok. Still has baby acne which sucks. Poor girl... but the dandruff went away WOO!
She def gets baby funk though. Her little neck fat/folds need to be cleaned often or else they start smelling funky.
And when she cries and really gets going, she sweats so that adds to the funk :P

She has been sleeping good today so.. FX that I didn't just jinx it!
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I'm good. Random ache every once in a while down there but overall I'm ok. Just tired.
Pissed at DH AGAIN....
He wants to go to his friend's house today. Ok that's fine... all I ask is that I don't have to cook. If I have to take care of Zoe by myself the entire night, then I don't want to have to worry about cooking anything. Not a big deal b/c there are plenty of places on his way home from work and I think it's a damn good deal for him since HE is the one that gets a night away.
But oh no.... he doesn't want to stop anywhere and hadn't planned on getting me anything.
Thanks a fucking lot.

Oh it's gonna be so 'fun' to see what he DOESN'T have planned for me tomorrow for my birthday. Can't wait for that shit. :\
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Anyway, enough of my bitching... I'll post photos later.

Appointment and such

So my appointment yesterday went well.
Almost went to it without shoes on though :P
I was just so flustered trying to get everything ready and carrying Zoe out that I was a few feet out of the house before realizing that I wasn't wearing any. HA!

Anywho... DH got there a little after me and carried Zoe in.
Got weighed and BP taken and had a pelvic exam done. She also checked my c-sec scar. Everything was good.. well... weight could always be better :P

I asked her when we could start trying again. Mentioned the 6 month thing and she said that if I get a repeat c-sec then 6 months is fine to start trying again. WOO!
For some reason if I wanted a vbac, I'd have to wait longer. I guess if I went in to labor there would be a higher chance of rupture from my c-sec scar? *shrugs*

I also asked about going back on metformin and she said that since I'm not trying right now there's no need. I thought that was weird but whatever.

Also asked about my milk supply and she mentioned that one R drug.. whatever it's called I don't remember. I don't want to take it though so I'm on my own to figure things out.

And yeah, that's about it.
Excited to try again eventually. That would be what.. January? Not that we would def start then. Hell, don't even know what my body will do. Hopefully getting healthier will help though. It was nice having cycles on my own.
Going to really get my eating under control next week. This week.. pfft... it's my birthday on Thursday and damnit.. I want cake! lol But yeah, next week... it's back to being strict. Well.. ok not super strict but enough to lose some weight *nodnod*

Sleep baby girl... sleeeeep

Well, she's sleeping now but of course I can't join her since I have my appointment later. SIGH!

Today is the first day I've driven since what.... the thursday before my induction. And first time going out alone with Zoe. Gonna be interesting.
DH is meeting me there though. He took off a little bit of time to come to the appointment with me. He's just gonna sit in the waiting room if they do a pap on me though.
All he cares about though is if we can have sex yet or not lol. I'm still spotting every once in a while. It's not a constant thing.... I'll spot once a day... I'll see if on my panty liner when I use the bathroom, and that's it. Not even anything on the tp.

Anyway.... I'm debating if I do want to take anything to increase my milk supply. Reading about some of the prescription drugs... those side effects are scary. Yeah not everyone suffers from them, but... is it worth it?
Sure I'm not going to have oodles of breast milk, but I'd rather that than get a s/e from a drug.
Maybe going back on metformin will help.
I was going to start back up. Took 1 pill and then decided to just wait.
Anywho, we'll see.
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I'm SO tired right now. Zoe woke up at 3... I fed her, cradled her until she was falling back to sleep and then put her in her bassinet so I could go pump.
She'll usually fuss a little bit, but DH will get up, give her her pacifier and she'll go to sleep. Nope... not last night.
She was not having any of it! I needed to pump longer than usual to empty my right bewb but had to cut it short. DH would've stayed up with her, but I felt bad that she wouldn't get back to sleep.
So I took her and put her in her rock n play. She'd doze off and then would wake back up. This went on until about 5 when I finally just picked her back up to cradle her. I guess she was just too tired by this point b/c she went right to sleep. BUT she only slept until 7. I did get back to sleep quickly, but it wasn't a deep restful sleep b/c I kept dreaming that she was crying or making a fussing noise and it would wake me. SIGH! Stupid brain!
Blahblah... so here I am...
Hopefully she'll sleep well later today so I can get in a nap.

Ok, so I don't want to strangle him...

Friday night was ROUGH... rough for DH that is.
He got up with Zoe at around 2:40... she didn't get back to sleep sleep until 4:30 or so and DH stayed up with her the entire time AND didn't go back to bed.
He said that she would go back to sleep but would then wake back up a few mins later... oh I know that joy.
I woke up at 2:20 that night and also didn't get to sleep until after 4 b/c I was worried about him. I was finally just too tired to stay awake any longer.

Anywho... we did buy a Rock N Play sleeper. WOOOOO!
We had to buy this one b/c they didn't have the cheaper one in stock. Hell, the cheaper one they did have wasn't the $50 one though. It was $55 I think. It was either the one we bought, or the monkey one. I don't frickin think so! It's cute, but it's the same damn thing...you're just paying for the different fabric. Such BS.
Welp, next day.... we started using it and Zoe frickin LOVES it and so do we! lol
Only bad thing is that we have to actually rock her in it, but yeah... small price to pay to soothe her.
She's still doing her short little catnaps, but we can start rocking her in it again and she'll usually go right back to sleep.
Best frickin item EVER rofl. Well worth the money spent on it *nodnodnodnodnod* I'm so glad we bought it and I would highly recommend it.
It's gonna come in handy for the next one.

Booooooobs

My left boob has been so I dunno... just weird lately.
I think I've been laying on my left side too much so it has put too much pressure on that boob so maybe milk ducts got blocked?
I made sure to not lay on that side for 2 nights and it's gotten better along with A LOT of massaging during pumping.
Before that though, that boob was not giving up ANYTHING. I'd get maybe.. MAYBE half an ounce after a 3-4hr time period. Before I would get about 1.5-2 during that time from that boob. So yeah... I was worried that things were drying up, but looks like things were just blocked.

It sucked massaging the hard aching lumps though. That crap hurts!! But, at least it's giving up the boob juice now.
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Zoe spaaaaaaam!!!

Chillin in her bouncer. Think this was when she was laughing and smiling at the tv. Of course when I tried getting a photo of it, she stopped :P

 

In my lap, sucking on her pacifier and she put her thumb in the hole of the pacifier as she sucked it. DH thought it was adorable so got some photos of it heh.

And pics today when she woke up in a great mood. She was smiling but again... couldn't get a photo of it.
Did manage to get some faux smiles though heh... she was just yawning & stretching and it looks like smiles in the photos hehe.



Grrr

I am going to bite DH's head off.
I swear...if he complains one more GD time about having to iron his own clothes for work the next day... I'm going to throw something at his head.
Yes he works all day and provides for his family, but I'm not sitting around doing nothing all day. AND I'm the one up at night with Zoe so he can sleep nm that he knows that I don't get back to sleep very easily.
AND nevermind that I actually encourage him to go out on Weds to visit his friends b/c I know how important it is to have a social life outside of the house....... not that I have that luxery.

UUUUUUUUUUGH I'm just so frustrated with him. He does do a lot, don't get me wrong. He's a wonderful guy and does so much... but it would be nice if he didn't expect me to do everything I did before we had Zoe.
____

Anyway....
Zoe just woke up... she's a tricky little minx. I swaddled her in a blanket before putting her in her bassinet. Nice and snug... go to get her b/c she woke up and both of her arms were free and she was happy as can be lol.

Not today

No Target today. Inlaws wanted to come over for a bit so yeah....
We'll just go tomorrow. Not in a HUGE rush to get the RnP... but yeah, we better get it tomorrow :P lol

Zoe still sleeping in short bursts during the day. Not sure why she keeps waking up, but *shrugs* Just gotta deal with my non-sleeping long munchkin.

Oh another item I like...

Lansinoh disposable breast pads. I've tried Nuk and Medela ones as well, but they only have 1 adhesive strips on them so tend to move around a lot while the Lansinoh has 2 areas. It's not a huge deal and they're all basically the same though.

Oh and we're finally using the baby tub.... this one. Zoe is just too big now to handle w/ one hand while bathing so putting her in the tub is a lot easier to manage.
Just wish it weren't so damn big. If you're looking to get one, make sure you have room to store it. *nodnod*

Quick

Gotta post and pump before she wakes.

Totally going to make DH take me to Target when he gets home.
DD group rave about the rock n play sleeper and I want to get one. The cheapest one is $50 so not too bad at all.
They have others but of course they're more expensive b/c of the design/colors. So frickin stupid.

We also may get some stool softener for her too. She didn't poo at all yesterday. I feel so bad for her b/c it can't be comfortable :(
I keep trying to do the leg bends and massaging her tummy but it obviously isn't working.
*few hours later*
She POOPED!! WOO! lol Never thought I'd be so excited to see a turd.
Poor Zoe struggled getting it out.. at least that's what it sounded like by her cries :( But she did! YAY!
Hopefully more comes later and easier for her.

Alrighty, gotta go stuff some diapers!

5 weeks

This last week has gone by SLOW. I keep wanting to think it's thursday instead of just Tuesday for some reason.

Oh welp.

So, Zoe is 5 weeks old today. My big girl!
She was a bit fussy last night when she woke up and she slept in until 7.. BUT she went back to sleep and slept until 10:30! WOO!
I usually don't sleep in that late, but I sure as heck did today and it was AMAZING lol.
DH did piss me off though. She woke up at 2:30. While she does usually go right back to sleep... she had other plans last night. I put her back in her bassinet b/c I thought she was going back to sleep. I went to pump and could hear her cry a little which she'll do when her pacifier falls out of her mouth. DH will get up, put it back in and that's that, she'll go to sleep.
Well last night, she didn't. She kept fussing, so what happens? While I'm pumping, DH brings her in to the nursery and tells me that she's still hungry and then leaves her there.... still crying. Seriously dude??
He couldn't stay up with her for 10 damn minutes while I finished up?? And she ate a whole 1ounce more and went to sleep after so he could've gone right back to sleep after. UUUUGH that pissed me off so damn much.

She's still constipated. Poor baby. It looks like she tries to poop but just can't manage to. Hopefully she goes soon.

She's not giving up the smiles easily. She does like watching tv though. When she's calm enough, I put her in her bouncer so I can pump and she just loves watching tv with me. She actually started smiling at the tv and laughing. It wasn't a HAHAHAHA kind of laugh, more just a single.. heh...
SO frickin cute. I guess mommy and daddy aren't as entertaining as tv... I understand baby *nodnod*

My uterus or that area has been aching for the last couple of days. It's not cramping, just a general ache also not terrible but still not comfortable.

Erm what else what else...
Lots of women in my DD group just rave about the fisher price rock n play sleeper. May have to look in to it. It's not too expensive thankfully and if it helps Zoe sleep a bit better without the swaddle since she doesn't like that, then woot! heh

And yep, that's about it. No pics right now. Trying to eat and hopefully get in a shower before she wakes up :)

11lbs

Forgot to mention yesterday that I weighed Zoe. According to our scale... she is 11lbs 2oz O_O
Good lord... my chunky little munchkin!
No wonder my back is starting to hurt lol

I can't wait until she's sleeping longer! It's not that I really mind getting up with her b/c usually she'll go right back to sleep after eating. It's just that I can't get right back to sleep and by the time I do, she's already waking up again :( Frickin sucks.
No matter how tired I am, it still takes me forever to drift back off to sleep.
And lil Zoe's sleep noises aren't helping. She struggles against her swaddle and will grunt, huff and do all sorts of noises that keep me up or wakes me.

And speaking of swaddle... she HATES it until she's actually sleeping. She can not stand it but it's the only way she will actually stay asleep for a significant amount of time. If her arms aren't swaddled down, she'll spaz and it wakes her up and she starts getting all fussy.
We need to buy the larger swaddleme blankets. Some of the ones we have have shrunken a little and don't fit her any longer.
I wish we could start putting her in her sleep gowns again. SIGH!

Zoe is still constipated. Started bending her legs towards her stomach. Not sure if it's helping any, but I'll continue it.

Also Zoe has a flat spot on the back of her head. Didn't think anything of it until I saw someone post something about it on my DD group. I thought it was something that would correct itself. I mean I'm sure it would, but I don't want her to have a flat spot just b/c she likes sleeping w/ her head turned that way.
So anyway, we have her sleeping at a slight incline to try to get her to sleep the other way now. *shrugs*

Alrighty, gotta get and stuff some diapers. Only have 4 clean and stuffed right now heh.

Smiles and poop

Yep, more baby poop talk. Joy... lol

She almost had a blowout yesterday. It leaked a little and got on her outfit at the leg area, but thankfully that was it.
She's still not going all that great, but doesn't seem as fussy as she has been.  So yeah, hopefully I can do something to try to help her little BM problem out.
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Zoe is def smiling now! YAY! She smiles when we tweak her chin (discovered that yesterday) and started smiling at this cute security blanket her aunt bought for her.

I tried getting some photos of it.

Dimple!

And a bonus most beautiful baby expression EVER photo for ya

ROFL...... I was trying to get a photo of her yawning. This was the end of it :P Cracks me up every time I look at it... ehehehehehehe
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Oh I have to rant for a sec

So I don't mind if MiL wants to come over to visit on the weekend. It's not for too long and she's great with the baby (if somewhat greedy with holding her).

What annoys me is that she came over yesterday... with my neice... who is really frickin sick and then lets my neice get REALLY close to the baby. WTF???
Don't sit there and tell me that my neice had a 100 temp the previous day and then let her breath all over my baby!!! I don't care if she was feeling better, it doesn't mean she can't pass it on!
Geezus

That was unexpected!

Oh yeah, Zoe is def getting constipated.
How do we know?
Welp... she actually passed a turd yesterday. O_O
That was a shocker to see when changing her diaper. Just a small lrge marble sized turd sitting in her diaper lol.
Made cleaning it easy but poor thing must've been miserable trying to pass it.
Then a few hours later while DH was holding her, I guess he felt her go again & she let out this weird cry/squeek, so he got up to change her.
All I hear from the nursery is "OMG!!" lol
So I get up to see what's going on and... holy crap. It wasn't liquid baby poop... it looked more like someone took a large turd and smooshed it all in her diaper.
Feel so bad for her. It can't feel good to be that constipated.
Going to try doing some tummy massages on her for a while to see if that helps. The gas drops are def helping with that problem, but gotta figure out why she's constipated anyway. Has to be the formula, but she only gets maybe 2 or 3 bottles of that a day, the rest of breastmilk.
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Wow.... it is amazing when you have a baby, how much you talk about their poop. O_o
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Cloth diapering still going well. Double stuffing for night time is working out great. No more leaking from the back. When she gets bigger for the larger size diapers.. think I may order some heavy wetter types. Have one so will see if it's worth it to get more.

Seriously, cloth diapering is A LOT easier than I thought it was going to be. Only thing nasty about it is that you are def going to get poo on you... well if you use a diaper sprayer. You have to get your hands dirty to spray off all of the poop, but meh... it's gross, but I'm sure we're gonna get plenty of that on us over the coming years.
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Going to get a bit stricter with diet. Still not AS strict as before since I'm just not going to have the oppurtunity to make things from scratch etc etc... but def can't keep eating the way I have been.
Hoping that maybe it will help with milk supply bc it just keeps going down down down :(

Gas & constipation

Think poor little Zoe is slightly constipated which is causing A LOT of gas.
I swear, the farts coming out of this child sound like they should be coming out of an adult. Hmm... I guess that's kinda stupid though. Not like a baby fart would sound different but for some reason I thought they would... higher pitched maybe? lol

Anyway, I think it might be the problem that's keeping her awake during the day and her difficulty going to and staying asleep.
Not sure what would be causing it. Maybe something I ate not going over well in the breastmilk? *shrugs*
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We're totally going to buy a bouncer. She really enjoys being bounced and moved. Not so much the swing right now. I think the vibrations a bouncer would offer will go over well with her. Maybe help shake out that excess gas lol.
Probably get that this weekend. Also hoping to get that new carseat too.
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Cloth diapering is easier than expected. It sounds SO intimidating on paper. All of that washing and care, but it's been pretty easy and simple so far. It's not like you have to wash them by hand or anything lol. Just pop them in to the washer and dryer and voila.
Only thing that is a pain is restuffing the little green baby bamboo diapers.
The bamboo inserts are slicker than the microfiber ones so move all over the place, and the covers are smaller in the crotch area, so we had to buy some ice tongs to stuff with. It takes a while, but oh well. I really like those diapers. They fit her best right now. The microfiber ones fit and work well too, but they are SO bulky. Baby def looks like she's carrying around junk in the trunk lol ;)

I think we're gonna have to double stuff a diaper for night time. She's been sleeping a little longer and all of that pee is soaking one insert and leaking a little from the back. Should be a simple fix.

Anywho.... Zoe is sleeping on my lap right now. Gonna go watch some tv. Not even gonna try to take a nap b/c I know she's gonna be awake again soon.

Photos!!

What she's wearing today. Neither DH or I are really big football fans, but DH's uncle gave this outfit to us and well... it's just too cute not to put her in lol.

Love the look on her face. Kinda psycho.....

How does she always know?

I swear.... this child always... ALWAYS wakes up while we're eating. It never fails.
I thought at first, that maybe she smelled the food cooking and that's what wakes her, but nope.
I slow cooked some ribs in the oven the other day. Cooked them for 3 hours and the entire house smelled like it.
Fed her and put her in her bassinet in our room.
Sat down to eat, and yep... she started to whimper and cry. WTH?? lol
And we've been eating at random times too so it's not like she's on a schedule that just so happens to coincide with when we're eating.
Weird....
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DH gave up his guy's night yesterday to stay at home and help me out. Awwwww... and thank frickin goodness!!

Zoe was not napping well at all yesterday. Waking up every hour on the hour for some reason. I couldn't get in a nap to save my life.
I wasn't exhausted, but I was damn tired.

She slept REALLY well last night though. We all went to bed at about 10pm. She didn't wake up until 3. I actually got up at 2:30 to pump, she woke and DH got up with her.
She got up at 9:30 this morning. WOO! YAY sleep!!
Actually it wasn't a good sleep this morning though.
The noises she makes when she's sleeping always wake me up and she was making a lot of them starting at around 6. Thought she was actually waking up a few times but it was just her dreaming I guess.
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Zoe might've smiled at me last night! YAY! DH and I were sitting on the loveseat. I had her kinda sitting up on the boppy pillow on my lap and she looked right at me and gave me a half smile heh.
I can't wait to see more of those. She has the cutest dimples that she got from her daddy :)

1 month old

Wow.... already and only. It's crazy.

Our little month old Zoe is doing well. She's still a fussy butt, but we love her anyway ;) heh
Her skin is peeling in spots. Bottom of her feet and her fingers mostly.
Also her hair is starting to fall out. It's only at the side of her head right now.
She also has baby acne and she has terrible baby dandruff :P lol We're brushing her head to try to help w/ the dandruff but it doesn't look like it's doing much to help *shrugs*

She's also having some weird sleep cycles in the morning. Well, it's only been 2 days, but I imagine it will happen again.
She's on her own schedule at night. She'll go to bed around 9-10 after eating. Wake up around 1-2am. Eat, then will usually go right back to sleep, then will wake up again 4-5.
Well for the last 2 days, she's only been wanting to sleep for an hour when she wakes up the 2nd time. I am NOT happy about that lol. It takes me forever to get back to sleep nevermind that I pump after putting her back down so that gives me a whopping 30mins to try to get back to sleep before she wakes up again. BLEH!!!!
I'm so tired right now. Gonna pump after this post and hopefully sneak in a nap before she wakes up.

What else what else...
Oh Zoe is now a cloth diapered baby :D
She was actually outgrowing her newborn size disposable diapers, but thankfully we only had a few left anyway. Ran out of them yesterday and started cloth diapering last night.
So far so good.
She's in the smaller size ones on the smallest setting. They're the perfect fit right now. Still waiting for her to have a big poop in one just to see how they hold up to it. So far she's only had really small poops and lots of pee.

Uhm.... I'm doing good for the most part. Fanny pack is mostly pain free now thank goodness. Incision kinda aches every once in a while but it's mild and goes away quickly.
Pumping is still damn annoying and I still hate it.
Still not getting nearly what I should. Not looking forward to my 6w PP appointment, but I can't wait to bring up the milk supply problem. I know I could call sooner, but meh, I don't feel like it to be honest. No reason other than just lazy :P
And yeah... other than being tired right now... I'm feeling decent.
Oh I forgot to add that my face is totally breaking out. BLEH! And I have AWFUL dandruff right now.
I feel SOOOOOO attractive... :\

Will post some photos later!

Hurry hurry

Lol, seems like that's how all of my activities are now. Hurry up before the baby wakes up! lol

Anywho.... really do need to hurry. Can hear her starting to stir.

So... my nipples are purple. OUCH. They actually don't hurt THAT bad, but just the thought of them being purple makes them hurt lol. The new nipple pump thingamajigs def are helping with the soreness. Not completely taking it away but it's enough.

*to be continued.....*
*finally back...*

Mom duties..... sigh! heh

Ya know what... baby nails frickin HURT!!!!
I swear Zoe has little raptor claws attached to those tiny cute little fingers. Claws that constantly want to dig out my still beating heart whenever she has a little bit of tummy time on my stomach.
OUCH!
Those things are just shy of being tiny little razor blades.

Bewb pains

I can't lay on either side for too long... haven't even dared lay on my stomach yet.
If I lay on either side for too long, that bewbie starts to ache like crazy and I'm paying for it for a few days after.

My right one is just now starting to feel normal again. Who knew breastfeeding/pumping would be so damn annoying!! Screw those bitches that want to take formula away from everyone! They can go lick balls.

I'm this close to giving up pumping. My supply just seems to be going down down down no matter WTH I'm doing :(
It was somewhat satisfying before... seeing how much I was getting and knowing it would feed Zoe, but now.....  pffft.... I just feel like I'm wasting my time trying to continue with it when I'm getting less and less with each pumping.
I massage, take fenugreek religiously, pump every 2-3 hours for at least 15mins, drinking a ton of water and still... my body wants to show me just how much it still sucks by decreasing my supply. Awesome :\

Even though I hate doing it with a passion, I'll stick with it until the bitter end and then jump for joy when I don't have to worry about doing it any longer :P lol
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Zoe is getting SO frickin big!! I can't believe how much she's grown in this short amount of time. She's gonna outgrow her almost 1yo cousin soon.
She's wearing 0-3m stuff, but I put her in a 3m old onesie yesterday and it fit w/ only just a little bit of slack O_O
I dunno why she's so big since I'm only 5'1" and DH is only 5'9". No one on DH's side is super tall.
My brother and dad are 6'1 & 6'2 but that's hardly giant or anything.
*shrugs* Maybe she won't actually be tall. She's just having some major growth spurts right now and it will slow down later.

Mo money mo money!

Wish we had... Mo money... sigh.

When we were at Babies R Us yesterday... saw some smaller carseats. Thought about it for the rest of the day and have decided that I want one of them to replace the one we have.
There's nothing technically wrong with what we bought. It was cheap and it works, BUT, it's slightly too large for the car and it's super frickin bulky and awkward to carry around. It doesn't even fit on to those baby seats at restaraunts so we have to set her on the table which sucks... and it takes up an entire shopping cart so we have to roll around 2 of them. It's light, BUT I have short arms so I swing it a bit more than I should b/c I just can't hold on to it right.
Anyway... yeah, I want a smaller one, which means it's probably going to cost us more money than we like to get one. Not sure if DH is prepared for that but I sure as hell am. I do not want to be lugging around the huge one when I do finally start to go out by myself.
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I'm surprised by how much patience I have with Zoe.
Hmm.... that sounds kinda bad lol.

It's just that I never really had much exposure to small children before other than my neices. I was never the maternal type and hearing someone elses child crying just got on my last nerve most of the time.
But hearing and seeing Zoe cry.... I just can't feel anything but love and compassion for my little munchkin.
I don't like it when she's super fussy, but only b/c I don't know how to make her feel better.
Never thought I'd be this way to be honest.
Yes I wanted children more than anything, but I had NO idea if I was cut out for it. Anywho, I'm sure my patience will grow thin over time lol, but for now... I'll enjoy feeling this way :)
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Oh, not sure when it started, but Zoe is not crying b/c of diaper changes any longer! WOOOO!
If she was fussy before, she'll cry if we're changing her, but she's not actually crying because of the diaper changes.
Thank frickin goodness!!! lol
She enjoys staring at the dark violet curtains or the black picture frame and just wiggles all around. She's so cute.
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And finally. Googled up about how long docs want women to wait to TTC again after a c-sec.
Most said about 6 months.
If that's the case... I'm fine with that.
Although I do have a fire under my butt wanting to try again quickly, I know I need to let my body heal and I need/want to spend as much time with Zoe as possible before another LO arrives to divide my attention between.
Plus 6 months would allow me to hopefully lose more weight and get healthier for the next pregnancy.
Yes this pregnancy was pretty uneventful other than the GD, but I still want to be at a healthier weight. Hopefully get rid of or at least make sure this damn nasty fanny pack is smaller since I'm sure I'll get another c-sec.

Weepy

Is it normal to still be weepy this long after giving birth?
I'm not crying at random things, but certain things can set it off.
I'm not feeling sad or anything, no baby blues, but just feeling a bit weepy still.
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Everything is good here. Zoe seems to be a lot more alert. Well, not hugely alert or anything, she just seems to want to look at everything around her a bit more.

Like last night. She was actually awake when we went to dinner w/ family and she was just as content as could be looking around at everything.
Could've just been b/c that's the first time she's actually been awake when out of the house (and not crying :P ).
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We FINALLY went to Babies R Us today. It's on such a crap part of town with the most gawd awful traffic imaginable.
I wanted to go though and sigh, just makes me wish we had one on this side of town. SO much to look at... so little time. We bought a few things.... few more medela bottles and nipple things, erm.... and other stuff that I can't remember.
It was a good trip *nodnod*

When we got home.... my new nipple breastshield things.
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/products/577/personalfit-breastshields
I was using a size 27mm but it was just a tad too small imo, so ordered a 30. Used them twice so far. Can tell that the others were def too small, but we'll see if it helps w/ the soreness any.