Black Friday

So, I wasn't planning on going out today, but finding out who I have to get a present for, I had to to get the stuff.
It could've waited I guess, but since I have to make it, best to get it now rather than wait.

I have an aunt in law that no one really likes. On the surface, she's nice and sweet, but she'll make these snide little jabs here and there or just do certain things that just reminds you why everyone dislikes her.
Just an example of the type of person she is... when Ipads were new and all the rage, we had gone to Taco Bell w/ family. She whipped her sparkling new IPad out... AT the counter to order from her tablet instead of just ya know... looking up at the menu. :\
I think it's a conspiracy b/c she had my frickin name last year. I know they (MiL and her sister) did it on purpose b/c neither of them or SiL wanted to buy for her.
Whatever.
She may not be the most popular person in the world but she's gonna get a damn good crocheted blanket!!

I went to Joanns this morning for yarn. Spent frickin $50 ALL on yarn! lol It would've been 60 but thankfully I went early enough to use the 25% off your purchase order! MUAHAHAHA.

I then headed over to Home Depot. They had some steel shelving that we want for the kitchen.

And yeah, that was it. I went out at like 6:30. It wasn't busy at all so I could've gone to a few more places if I had wanted.
 Only reason I went out was b/c I woke up at frackin 4am and couldn't get back to sleep.
I was laying there trying to get back to sleep and started thinking about present ideas and yeah, one thing led to another.
Poor Zoe had to get woken up..... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA Now you know how WE feel!!! :P rofl
____

Oh and I forgot to mention it yesterday...
The night before last... I had a dream that I found out I was pregnant. For some reason in the dream, I went out and bought a bunch of FRERs and digital tests. I didn't think I was pregnant, but used ALL of them in one go. I started looking at them, and in the dream the tests had 3 lines (in the dream 2 lines was No, and 3 was yes.. ) I couldn't believe it until I saw the digital that said Pregnant.
Sigh, it was a great dream.
I only mention it now b/c found out later that day that SiL was pregnant :D
Not that I think I had some vision about it or anything, I just thought it was a neat coincidence :)

Great Thanksgiving :D

Just a really nice day that ended well.
Lots of good food with family.
Unfortunately, my brother and his wife used their baby as an excuse not to come but whatever, it's their loss. I know they just had a baby and while that would be a good legitimate excuse for most, I know them. Anyway.... enough about that...

I made a non-traditional pecan pie. The filling is just sugar, eggs and pecans. No corn syrup. It's SUPER SUPER sweet but delicious.
Also made a pecan praline pumpkin pie. It's awesome. I'll give the recipe if anyone is interested.
And I made a corn casserole. I added 2 teaspoons of sugar and that was it. Kept it the same and it was pretty tasty if you enjoy corny stuff. Oh and I cooked it for an hour instead of 45m like the recipe says.

Wish DH had let me buy another turkey so we could have our own again but whatever heh.

Zoe was loving all of the attention and had a great time too. It was so cute b/c her little cousin kept wanting to hug her. Unfortunately Zoe can't stand on her own yet so when she went to hug, Zoe kinda plopped and started crying and didn't want anymore after that heh.. oops.

Anyway, the big news of the night though was when MiL was talking on the phone with SiL (DH's older sister).... come to find out that SiL is PREGNANT!
YAY!
I am just so friggin excited for her. I think she's going to be 39 on her next birthday and she has really bad endo so this is really a miracle. Doesn't help that her and her husband are both in the navy so are very rarely at home at the same time. They finally took a late honeymoon to Hawaii and I guess that's where they got lucky :P lol
Anyway, so happy for her. I know she's been wanting this for a long time. Before she even got married years and years ago, she kept talking about going to a sperm bank, adopting etc etc. She's gonna be such a great mom.
So excited that Zoe is going to have another cousin close in age too :D Love that they're all going to grow up and hopefully be close to eachother. Well, that's if she moves back to the east coast. She's in California right now.
Thankfully with her being pregnant, she doesn't have to go on anymore ships though so yay for that at least heh. Although she'll miss out going to the various locations.
It's still super early though. She's due in July and gosh.... I really hope this is it for her.
____

And lemme tell ya, hearing that news just put my already baby fever in to hyper overdrive.
We've had our bad food fun. My cold is slowly but surely going away.
It's time to get BUSY!
We may have a slip up once in between now and Christmas since DH signed up for the cookie exchange at his job, but that should be it.
And I plan on starting exercising again on Monday. Going to work my ass off until the new year and beyond :)
Maybe I can get us a September baby hehe... that way we'll have consecutive babies... July, August, September, October, November :D
But yeah... just have to stay committed!!

On a more positive note :D

Don't want to end the day before Thanksgiving on such a sour note..

I just want to say I'm so thankful for my hubs and for Zoe and for all of you out there in internet land that bother to read my ramblings :)

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow!

Seriously???

Ok, I'm about to get harsh here and I apologize if I offend anyone.

My SiL is a DUMBASS. At least about this particular issue.
Not my brother's wife, but the one that made the rude comments to me when she was pregnant.

Anyway.
So apparently, my state is looking to make birth centers safer. How? By making them have a doctor on call at all times.
Here is a quote from a petition trying to prevent this law...

"a physician must be on call and available to provide medical assistance at the birthing center at all times that it is serving the public."

Doesn't sound unreasonable does it? If for whatever reason the midwives need some more advanced medical help, they can call up their doctor and there ya go.

They're not trying to close birth centers. Not trying to make CPMs become CNMs (although I wish they would).

But nope, you have people like my SiL thinking they're trying to take women's rights away by doing this. What???

I can't be the only one to think that this is a GOOD idea. It's not saying that the doctor MUST participate in all of the births at the center. It's not saying that the women MUST get medical interventions and MUST birth a certain way. No.. it's saying that there needs to be a doctor available there just in case.

I would think that having a doctor there that supports what the mother is doing would be even more reassuring too.
But apparently nitwit fantatic natural birthers are fucking FREAKING out over this shit b/c they think their rights are being violated.

Just.... UGH

Continuation...

....

So Zoe and I are still sick. We're both getting over the colds though. Zoe's nose is still pretty runny and she's still coughing some but she's sttn again for the most part and other than a snotty nose doesn't actually look sick. Myself, my nose is pretty stuffed up and I'm coughing a little, but otherwise I'm ok. I have very little sense of taste and absolutely no sense of smell. That comes in handy when changing poopy diapers lol.
DH is a little sick. It could turn out like my cold did. Not that bad at first and then it hits you one day.
Good thing he has A LOT of sick days built up.

What else what else...
I have been remembering to take OPKs every day and absolutely nothing is happening. Same old light lines on them that I usually get. I'm on cd18 so.. yeah.
It's not that surprising since I'm sick and stopped exercising. Really need to start back up with that again now that I'm not as sick and sleep isn't interrupted by a sick baby.
This week is shot for shit when it comes to diet though. DH and I both just said screw it and yeah. We'll pay for it when we pack on some weight and get all bloated and feel gross though.
Why does junk food have to taste so damn good!?

Have some video and photos to post from my phone. Just have to stop being lazy and do it already.

Holy crapola

Just browsing clothes for Zoe. Looking for possible Xmas outfits and GEEZUS.... do people really spent 30+ dollars on a baby outfit that they'll only wear once?? MAYBE twice?
We went overboard last year with her outfit, but that can be forgiven for a 1st Xmas outfit. Bigger than that though... no way.
MAN!

We went to Once Upon a Child yesterday to look for a Christmas dress, but they didn't have anything. Mostly Xmas PJs. We did find a couple of shirts and pants and one of her Christmas presents (that of course we've already given her but we'll put under the tree for photos heh).
It's an awesome shopping cart that came w/ a basket and some wooden food stuff. It's adorable and Zoe loves it :D

Oh speaking of which, she's doing the "I'm awake now come get me" call :P lol I'll post more later!

Bleh!

It's 1:30 and unfortunatly, I'm wide awake. Woke up with that awful stuck phlegm in the back of your throat feeling. My instinct is to keep trying to swallow it down and loosen it up but it just sticks there driving me crazy. So now I'm wide awake chugging down some water in hopes that the extra hydration helps to loosen it up some so I can eventually get back to sleep.

In better news... sounds like Zoe is getting better. She had a lot less snot today. Coughing more, but think it's from nasal drainage. She had a great 2nd nap and so far I haven't heard her wake up since going to bed. So YAY she's getting better while DH and I just get sicker lol.

I can't believe Thanksgiving (and Christmas) are almost on us. Geeze. I need to go ahead and start exercising. If things keep going this way, Zoe should be at least sleeping normally by Monday so I could start then. Hoping my sleep won't be too bad by then. Even if it is, I'll start anyway. I can't keep letting everything be my excuse for NOT doing it.

OOOO Christmas decor! I can't wait! :D We're getting a real tree this year and I'm so excited! Nothing against fake trees at all, I just hate the one we have. DH bought it on sale and it's one that already has lights on it. UGH I hate it. It's such a PITA b/c of the lights. Hoping to score another fake tree minus the lights this year.
It will be fun to show Zoe everything and get photos :) We still need to get her an Xmas outfit. Go to Once Upon a Child and get a 2nd hand one *nodnod*

Well, so much for that...

Got hit with a stuffy nose last night. Awesome.
And the phlegm has increased about 10x. Kept waking myself up w/ a plegmy snore.
Thankfully though, Zoe seemed to sleep a little better. Heard her wake up a couple of times, but she'd go right back to sleep.
She's awake right now coughing up a lung it seems.

We are def not going out with family tonight. Even if she was feeling better, DH's family is being attacked by a stomach bug going around. It started with my niece and slowly moved to everyone else. My brother caught it the day after their boy was born. Great timing there :P
Thankfully it looks like we've dodged getting it so far.
Hate stomach bugs... just knowing how they start is gross enough.

Kids are gross

Seriously... I can't even count how many times I've had Zoe sneeze and cough right in to my face... and she's only 15m old!!
I just hope my immune system is ready for this ride b/c... damn.

I already have a scratchy phlegmy throat right now. Thankfully that's the only thing wrong with me but with the way she keeps spraying me with her juices... BLEH!

Last night was unintentionally better for sleep. We turned down the volume on the monitor and I may have turned it down too much b/c I woke up at around 4 wondering why I hadn't gotten woken up sooner. Well, that's b/c I couldn't actually HEAR her on the monitor :P lol
Thankfully she's ok though. I think just letting her cry and get upset when she's woken is helping her cope a little better and get herself back to sleep quicker.

The snot though.... there's just so much of it!!! Every time she sneezes there is this giant glob of gooey grossness streaming down her face and I have to rush to her before she gets a hand to it. You do kinda become immune to the gross, but every once in a while that revulsion hits you again like a ton of snot and poo covered bricks.

Poor Zoe pt 2

Man, her cold is getting a little worse. Still no fever thank goodness, but her congestion is getting worse. It's so gross when she sneezes. That nasty glob of snot coming out of her nose and running down her face. BLEH! lol
My poor girl.

She could hardly sleep at all last night which of course kept us up as well. A few times, we had to just let her cry herself back to sleep. We would check on her but us checking on her made her want to stay up when she was beyond tired. I'm talking eyes half open (if that) and nodding off all over the place.
It was so sad to see.
Went out today and bought her some Vicks baby rub stuff and a saline spray. Put some of the rub on her chest and put her down for a nap. Haven't heard anything so taking that as a good sign that it's at least doing something to help her.

Poor Zoe, and us

Last night was rough. Zoe kept waking every hour and was just so miserable w/ her stuffy nose and most likely BLAH feeling.
She's having some serious leakage and booger bubbles happening today. Going to hve to keep some tissue and wipes close by so I can wipe away all of the snot. Also have to make sure she's getting enough fluids.
She's def not eating like she normally would and hadn't had enough to drink yesterday. Her diaper this morning was full, but had that yellow tint to it which it usually doesn't have.

She seems to be ok when she's awake, it's just sleeping we're having issues with.

It's gonna be a long night

About to head to bed.
Zoe has already woken up about a half a dozen times already. Poor girl.
Can tell that she's having to breath through her mouth so sucking a pacifier isn't going to work.
My poor baby girl. UUUUUGH please don't get worse and PLEASE sleep through the night!
Let it be a cold where she just wants to sleep or snuggle and then it goes away quickly.. :P lol

Oh and she puked tonight. BLEH! It wasn't from being sick though. DH was feeding her some eggs and she gagged on them and just harfed up everything. You just don't realize how much vomit stinks until you have to clean it up. lol
Thankfully it didn't seem to freak her out any and.. this is gonna be gross... she ALMOST ate some of the egg she barfed up before I got to her lol. She was picking some of it up that plopped on to her high chair tray and it was like a slow motion movie moment.
Me leaping out of my chair, arm and hand stretched out to her yelling "Nooooooooooooo"lol

Tomorrow is going to be... so fun.
For some reason DH thinks we have to do some top to bottom cleaning of the house.
Now the house does need some cleaning and while it's not my idea of fun, I do it, but the amount he wants to do? Uhm.. no thanks.
Some person is supposed to be coming on Tuesday. Not sure who, but it's someone that is NEVER coming here again sooo... yeah. I'm not saying we shouldn't clean some, but dang... cleaning this much for a stranger is crazy.
We do really need to wash and fold clothes. We have a mountain of both. Dirty in our bathroom, clean in our bedroom lol. UUUUGH I hate folding! I don't mind washing at all, but needing to fold... BLEH!

Quick

Quick post so I can go watch some more American Pickers :D

Spotting has finally stopped. WOO! Dh was ready to DTD so good timing heh.
Started OPKs last night and they're surprisingly dark. Not anywhere to being +, but hopefully they will get there :) That would be a most excellent Christmas present *nodnod*

Zoe seems to be coming down with her very first cold. This is going to be her first sickness. It's only a very minor phlegmy sounding cough right now. Nothing major, and she's a little more grumpy than usual, but other than that she's ok. Hopefully it doesn't get worse than that.

Well...

I spoke too soon.
Last night had a little more bleeding, but it seems to have kinda stopped now. Hopefully it's gone completely and I won't have another surprise later :\

So SiL and baby are now home. Fixed them some food.
It's this egg noodle cheesy chicken recipe that we got from one of DH's friends.

Pack of egg noodles (i use extra wide)
2 cans of condensed cream of mushroom soup
3 or so boneless skinless chicken breasts cut in to small chunks
milk
1 pack of sharp or mild shredded cheddar

 -Preheat oven to 350
-In a pan, season the chicken w/ salt, paprika, garlic powder, onion powder. Cook until done, add to a baking dish.
-At the same time, cook the egg noodle and add to the baking dish.
- Add both cans of cream of mushroom soup, cheese.
- Pour milk in to the empty cans of soup and pour over noodle mixture. (do this one or 2 times)
- Mix it all well.
- Cover the top in foil
- Heat in the oven for 30-40mins

It's pretty tasty :)

Anyway, kinda pissed when we went over there though. They've let their dogs take over the loveseat we gave them. It doesn't even look like they've sat in it b/c there was torn up foam and dog hair ALL over it.
AND their house is still F-ing filthy and wreaked of fresh cig smoke. Seriously???
And I know SiL is already smoking again b/c she had a pack of cigs AND an ashtray on her computer desk.
I mean damn..... you have a new F-ing baby... the least you could do was clean the f-ing house and take your asses outside to smoke! I feel so sorry for the baby :(
Just sick to my stomach thinking of the health problems he's going to have b/c they're too lazy to go outside and smoke.
They're not bad people, but boy are they STUPID.
____

Anyway....
DH finally got Zoe to hug yesterday. Well, we both kind of did. We'd hug her and say hug, but I guess she never really got it until yesterday. It's so cute and I am loving me some hugs from my munchkin! :D
It's so crazy how BIG she is. Now that there is a comparison to her new little cousin, it's insane how big Zoe has gotten.
DH and I think we're probably going to have to call her doc and tell her that Zoe still isn't walking on her own in a few weeks. She does so well walking w/ help, but she just does not want to let go. As soon as she lets go of something she goes straight to the floor w/ no hesitation.
Not sure what we could even do to encourage her more.

Ask and ye shall recieve!!

Well, at least about my period anyway. It's pretty much gone gone gone now :D WOOO!
It's still making me question if I ovulated and damnit, I hate hope that I could have!
Ordered more OPKs and I'll start testing soon :)
I know my hormones are back to doing their PCOS BS though b/c my hair is starting to fall out like it used to.
Hate taking a shampooing my hair b/c my hands ALWAYS come back w/ strands of hair that have come out.
Thanks body for making me feel even less attractive :\
____

After visiting w/ SiL and their new baby.... my baby fever is off the charts. It's going crazy and I want another NOWS!!! lol
I was so out of it those first few weeks with Zoe that I really couldn't enjoy the newborn phase so it's so cute and almost new holding my lil nephew :)

I keep looking for Big Sister toddler shirts for Zoe. Most of them say Little Sister though. I want to buy one so bad, but who knows when we'll actually have another, ya know.

Need to start exercising again. Took this week off since I was visiting with them at the hospital and didn't feel like doing anything when I got home. Next week will be a good start up though :) Gotta kick some ass and LOSE some of this ass :D

Ok... time to stop

Say 6 of this period and... yeah, it can go ahead and stop now. I dunno, I'm on the fence on if I ovulated. Grrrr, stupid body!
____
Oh crap, I forgot to post yesterday!

So SiL had her boy on 11/12/13. I didn't even realize what the date was until she mentioned it LOL.
He is SO damn cute! Little smooshed face. He was 7lbs 9oz!!!! At 37w!!!!!! He probably would have been 9 pounds if they had let her go on longer.
Everything looked good though. He has a head full of hair, and is just so darn cute. His hair is dark brown but not like Zoe's or his sister (the 7yo). Can't really tell who he looks like yet. Not with his smooshed little face :D

Went to visit SiL and them this morning. Couldn't frickin find a dang parking spot anywhere near the front entrance and had to park WAY over by the obgyn office/parking garage. It's seriously a mile+ walk to where they were. Got my exercise in for the day :P LOL

He is just so darn adorable!! GAAAAAAAAH It's so easy to forget just how tiny these little babies start out :D Oh my gosh, I want another so bad! hehe
Poor SiL though is getting NO rest. With the nurses coming in every couple of hours, the baby making noise, and my brother.
My brother is such a giant DICK. He's like SiL's 4th child. He will not let her sleep. At least he didn't when I was there. Not sure WTF his problem is. I hope SiL smacks the shit out of him if he keeps it up. He's the definition of Manchild.

Anywho, been taking them some food when I went up. Not sure if I'm gonna go tomorrow. I'm sure they're probably sick of me by now lol.

Zoe seems to kinda enjoy going up there. She was baby flirting like crazy with this male student nurse yesterday. He would come in with the main nurse and Zoe would look at him and just start smiling and laughing and baby talking to him REALLY loudly lol. It was adorable and hilarious :D

She wasn't sure what to make of the baby. She didn't try to hit him or anything thank goodness. I think she understood that she had to be gentle. And she can kinda say his name which is really cute :D It's not exactly like it of course, but when you say it to her to repeat, it's obvious what she's trying to say... if that makes sense heh.

Speaking of my little bug.... she's so cute :D
Forgot to update about her appointment too.
She had it on Monday. She's only gained like 4 oz since her 12m appointment, but the doctor didn't seem worried or anything.
She was feeling the back of her head. Zoe's always had that flat spot and apparently it is a bit indented. Doc didn't say if it's something to worry about but did keep feeling it. I honestly never really noticed it. I was just so used to it being kinda flat so never paid much attention to it, ya know? She didn't say we had to worry so I'm not going to.
What else...
She had us walk Zoe some while holding her hand. She just wants to make sure Zoe is progressing with her walking. She told us that if she's not walking on her own in a month to call and we'd get set up with a physical therapist. She said it's nothing to worry about, just a precaution.
Also said if the burt's bees lotion we switched to isn't working on Zoe's skin problem to call and she'd refer us to a dermatologist.
So yeah... of course as soon as she said not to worry..... I worried lol
I know some kids take a while to walk and will get there on their own but... I think Zoe may be the last or one of the last to walk in my DD group. It does worry me a lot but watching her walk w/ her walker, we can see that she does a good job with that.
Hopefully she'll do it on her own soon.

Maybe I did?

MAN, I wish I could just remember to take OPKs every day! lol
I hate not knowing if I did or didn't ovulate.
This period is... I dunno. I want to say it's too heavy to be an anov one, but it's def not my usual either.

Maybe after seeing my new nephew tomorrow I'll have SUPER ULTRA BABY FEVER and will remember to do everything heh.
Oh and SiL is having her baby tomorrow :P lol
I'm so excited! She's having it at 10 and I'll probably try to be up there around then. Can't wait!
I do not envy my brother or their girls though. SiL was already super emotional when pregnant, is when not..... after pregnancy hormones... they better watch out! lol

It's already sending my jealousy and want in to overdrive though and I know seeing his cute little face is going to make it go crazy!

I'm kinda sad though. I'm excited for them, but it makes me remember how I was when other SiL was pregnant and... I dunno.. I feel pretty shitty for not being this excited for her. Yes, she was a huge bitch and said some crap things, and we were still struggling and going through multiple losses (doesn't help that we had the same DD.. UGH :( ).... but still. Makes me feel guilty.

Anyway, that's about it. Will post some photos of him tomorrow! MUAHAHAHA lol
It should be ok... most newborns look the same anyway. All wrinkled and adorable :P heh

Coincidence?

Is it a coincidence that I get my period after I started exercising? Who knows but I'm going to take it as a good sign.
It's not a normal heavy period, but it's def something more than just spotting.
Plus last cycle was a 28 day cycle which is considered to be normal. Well, normal length anyway.
I'll take it though! Now to continue exercising and hoping it helps my body to ovulate :D May have to buy more OPKs and actually remembering to take at least one every day.

I'm really not expecting to lose a lot of weight these last 2 months. There are just too many birthdays and then the 2 major holidays. It's going to be difficult not gaining anything lol.
But still.. w/ the continued exercising, I'm just hoping it helps to start regulating my hormones a bit more. :)
____

Totally forgot that Zoe has a walker even though it's right there in the living room. DER.
Just one of those things you get so used to seeing that you end up overlooking it.
Anyway, made Zoe grab it the other day and she was off! lol
She loves that thing now that she knows she can walk with it. She doesn't know how to turn so will often run in to something that stops her and she'll start whining heh.
She's doing really well with it though. She still doesn't have that confidence to walk on her own yet, but she'll get there.
She has her 15m checkup on Monday. Can't wait to see how much she has grown. She's outgrown most of her 12m stuff now and her 18m stuff fits her well. I think she's going to be growing out of the 18m stuff soon though.... unless growth starts slowing WAY down soon.

We went to Old Navy today since they have a 30% off sale. Saw a cute shirt I wanted to get her. We ended up getting her a few larger size shirts on clearance. Nerdy Star Wars stuff heh.
Love buying her clothes :D Hate it for myself, but for her? Yes please!

She is such a goofy silly child. I'm sure a lot of toddlers are like this since they're really starting to come in to their own.
If she hears people laughing, she'll laugh. It's SO cute. Like if I watch a comedian on Netflix and she's watching it with me, she'll laugh if she hears the audience laughing :D How cute is that?
Also I would say "Good good" when feeding her food and she's been saying that now too. Usually when it's something she loves like yogurt. She'll eat it and then she'll say (w/ yogurt still in her mouth) "Good good". SQUEEEEEE
She's so cute I just want to eat her! Ok not really but you know what I mean. :D

Ok then... o_O

So the spotting has continued and last night apparently it got a little heavier b/c I leaked some this morning. WTH?
Probably going to be a long drawn out anov period or something.
This is cd 29 of this cycle so.. maybe.
I haven't been taking OPKs every day. Just forgot to some days, but all the other days that I did... not even close to being +.
Whatever though... if my body wants a new cycle, then bring it! If I don't have to take provera again, awesome!
____

SiL might be delivering her boy on Tuesday!! :D I'm so excited to see what he's going to look like!
I'm SO worried about their house though. My dumbass of a brother still smokes inside and their house just totally wreaks of smoke and stank.
I offered to come over and help clean, but I think SiL is too embarassed or something.
I asked her if she wanted people to visit in the hospital or wait until they're home and she said she didn't want anyone to come inside their house.
Well maybe you wouldn't be embarassed by it if you ya know.. did that thing called CLEAN every once in a while.
I hate cleaning, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do and I don't want my nephew to go home to a shitty environment that's not good for him or any of them for that matter.
Going to try one more time to see if they want some help cleaning. They really don't have to be embarassed about their mess with me. I used to live with DH's parents.. I know what mess looks like. And as a teen, I wasn't exactly a neat freak or anything either.

Anyway...
Worried and excited for them. Going to bitch out my brother if he continues to smoke inside.
____

 Read an article someone wrote on secondary infertility. It really hit home and it sucked to see that so many couples suffer it.
I'm grateful eternally that we have our little Zoe though. I want her to have siblings. If we never have another bio child, then I think I really would like to adopt.
So many out there that need a loving family to call their own and yeah... our household would be that :)
Even if we do have another bio child... I think I still would like to adopt.
We'll see though. I'm not out of this reproductive race yet.

Day 3 and stuff

Fixed deer last night. Just pan fried it like a steak. Tasted just like beef :P lol
Was expecting some weird flavor but nope. It was good though and it felt good that it wasn't some hormone pumped factory farmed animal.
Although it does kinda make you feel bad when you think about it running free, being a free animal and then BLAMMO... head shot....
Guess it's just best not to think about that o_O

Had some spotting today. UGH. AND my face is breaking out some. Double UGH UGH!
My body never fails to remind me how screwed it is.

Exercise today was still just some light stuff. Still warming this ball of fat up so hopefully I won't get all sore and stop when I start something harder.

____

Enough about me though.

Zoe is doing well :)
Most of her vocab is still baby babble, but it sounds like complete sentence baby babble.. if that makes any sense.
She's so cute :)
She is still refusing to walk though. I know she will eventually and she's doing SO well when we hold just one of her hands (it forces her to walk on her own a bit more w/ little support from us)... but she still won't stand on her own so therefore won't walk either.
I know I shouldn't worry but I do as I'm sure most parents do.

We're trying some new lotion and body wash on her. Hoping that it helps w/ her skin problem. It's not even eczema. It's those damn bumpy pimple looking things. The ones on her arms have almost gone away (for some reason), but now her legs are terrible. SO bumpy and terrible feeling. Thankfully still, they don't seem to bother her. We've started to lotion her a lot more during the day. A quick rub down w/ every other diaper change.

Also, it looks like she's going to inherit her daddy's teeth. DH isn't very happy with that.
There really isn't anything wrong with his teeth. His front 2 are very very slightly crooked. I mean it's barely noticeable, but of course DH notices it and hates it and with the way Zoe's teeth are coming in it resembles DH's.
Like the teeth right beside the front 2 are slightly behind them.. that's how Zoe's are.

Anyway, if she does have some dental issues, we have insurance that will at least cover a little of it. We'd make sure we could afford to get her braces and whatnot so she won't have image issues like DH did. Sigh, seriously.... there is nothing wrong with his teeth.
 

Green Eyed Monster

Yep, it's rearing it's ugly head.
Another BFP in my DD group and while I am very happy for her and all of the others before... it still sucks that we haven't even had a real chance yet.
So yeah... jealousy is bubbling up inside of me and making me feel a bit hopeless atm :(
Just wish I were one of the lucky ones that HAD to use protection instead of meh... no protection needed b/c there's no ovulation going on here!... sigh
It's my own fault and that's what pisses me off the most.
I procrastinated for SO damn long about losing weight that now.. here I am, desperately wanting to be pregnant again and not even having a chance at it b/c I let laziness win.

This is a time when better late than never doesn't work b/c of my age.
Waiting too long means our chances are going to be even less.

Sigh, ok enough moping around. Going to go play some Just Dance and get my sweat on while trying to have some fun.
Wish it had more songs that I actually liked but.. meh. Work with what you have.

Day 1

Of exercising that is.
Well I did do some last week, but I'm not going to count it since it was so little.

I'll keep at it for say... 30 days. It's just an arbitrary number so I'll actually have some sort of goal to look forward to.
I'm also going to try to stay away from the scale.

This first week is going to mostly be focused on easy slow exercises to warm my body up.
I've done the whole, jump right in and get sore as hell for a week after thing and yeah, that crap doesn't work. I get sore and don't want to do anything after it goes away. So this time.. I'm starting it off slow so my body gets used to things and will amp it up a bit more next week.
Sounds like a good plan so hopefully it will actually turn out to be one heh.

Also going to put the scale up. It's my enemy at this point. I'll bring it back out.. maybe weekly but will try for maybe every other week. I know weight can go up and down so much and weighing daily really will drive you crazy.

Okedoke, baby girl is awake and fussing. Damn this time change BS. Of course now that w/ Fall back, she wants to nap an hour earlier and wake an hour earlier. BOOOOO

Hmmm

May have to rethink having a 3rd child.
I really would like 3, but never thought about how old I would be by the time we would have a 3rd.
Ok so, I get pregnant next year, I'm going to be 35 when that child is born. If I get pregnant not too long after having the 2nd... it means I'd be 36, but more than likely, I'd be 37 before having a 3rd. I know women are having children later and later in life, but still. Wow.
I'm def not some spring chicken any longer and really have to look in to all of this before making a decision.
I guess we'll see when we get there. Hell, we still have to have a 2nd first before even thinking about a 3rd lol.

These next 2 months are going to be hell on eating well. Thanksgiving and then Christmas. Have to make sure every other day is spot on and I have to continue exercising.
This week started off slow, but I'm feeling the pressure and the motivation to keep going (finally).

Determined.... pregnant or down a good amount of weight by April. I mean obviously if not pregnant, then we'll keep trying, but April only b/c that's when my annual is for.

Zoe is up and fussing. Gotta go snuggle my little fussy butt :D

Homeschooling

I can't remember if I've posted about this before or not. If I have... oops, then I'll be repeating myself. Wouldn't be the first time heh.

Anyway... I know there's still a few years to think about this, but I'm seriously considering homeschooling Zoe. I just really don't have faith in our school systems any longer and think myself and family would do a better job teaching her.
BUT I worry about the social aspect of it for Zoe.
Now we do plan on putting Zoe in to some activities, dance, and probably some form of martial arts so she would meet kids there, but I dunno if that would be enough, ya know?
DH mentioned that there were homeschooling get togethers or something. I think one of his friends mentioned it to him.
I want her to get the best education possible, but I also want her to have friends and have that whole kid experience w/ friends she meets etc. I'll have to look in to it more.