Good lordy

Zoe is in a BAD mood so far today! Think it's a mix of her being tired and just her starting to realize that maybe if she cries, she'll get what she wants. YEESH!

The spots around her eyes and nose seem to be clearing up a little. The ones that were on the corners of her eyes have faded. Just waiting for the rest to now.
____

Here's a photo of the other FRER I saved. Think this was the 2nd one I took. Just shows that you can see the area where the 2nd line is supposed to be VERY well

Took another Wondfo hpt and opk.
OPK still showing not much, but the hpt had a shadow line once again. It's nothing to get excited over. I just think this batch is full of faulty tests.

I think I'm starting to get maybe pains in the O area. They're in the right spot. Could be cysts too *shrugs*
Not sure if OPKs will pick up a surge if I have one since I'm drinking so much water and having to go every 10 minutes (seriously). Guess we'll see.
IF I did actually ovulate last cycle and this cycle is similar, then I could be Oing in the next few days. Will have to keep using OPKs and hope for the best.

Day 1 of juicing

Just wanted to post quick that this was my first day of nothing but juicing! WOO!
Lemme tell ya, it was not easy and apparently it's only going to get more difficult in the coming days. BLAH!

I'm going to try my best to do nothing but juice for 2 weeks. After that, a modified juicing plan. Maybe juice throughout the day and then have a good healthy dinner. We'll see how I'm feeling.

Anyway, if you want to read more about my experience so far and the juices I'm drinking, you can check that out on the link to the right :)

Poor Zoe!

UGH, the spots have spread a little and some have gotten little white heads on them. They don't seem to bother her, but it looks so bad.
If it is worse by tomorrow I'm gonna take her in to her doc.
____

Oh here's one of those FRERs I took. It's all dried now but it's showing the mystery bastard line a little better. Wanted to get a photo of it to show that I'm not crazy and really was seeing something :P lol
It looks like an indent now.

Oh well.
____

Today is official day 1 of juicing and I already screwed up LOL.
Was feeding Zoe some yogurt and I licked the spoon out of habit. It was only a little bit of yogurt so not a big deal, but still. Gotta remember not to do that next time.
This morning's juice was pretty good. You're supposed to do a fruitier juice in the morning. The sweeter ones are def better *nodnod* lol

Juicing.

I've added a new page to the right that I'll be updating hopefully regularly about my experience with juicing.
No, not THAT kind of juicing..... juicing as in veggies and fruits and all of that :P heh

I'm going to try my hand at juice fasting. UGH lol
I'm desperate though. I seem to do well at maintaining my weight but the weight I'm maintaining isn't exactly healthy LOL

Going to take it a week at a time. First few days (days 3-5 is what I read) are supposed to be pretty bad so.... yeah, FX that I don't cave and eat something.
There will probably be a lot of bitching around then so be warned!
____

Something has broken out on Zoe's face. Not sure what it is. It doesn't seem to bother her.

It's red bumps on the corner of her eyes and her nose. I think I know what it is.
 perioral dermatits
Pretty certain that is what it is. I'll take her to her doc if it gets worse, but I'm sure we'll be told the same thing.
Read that you're not supposed to put lotion on the face though. Hopefully Whatever is on her cheeks doesn't flare up and get worse..... although lotioning didn't seem to help that either. SIGH

And the results....

So, I managed not to pee all night long. NOT common for me. I'm usually up at least twice going peepee :P heh

I went ahead and used the FRER. Figured with such a good hold, something had to show.
AND...... same thing.

I'm thinking these are just faulty tests though.
The FRER would look BFN to anyone, but of course since I obsess, I can spot the test line spot a mile away.
I don't think it's anything to get excited about though. Just a BFN test line showing.
The wondfo is showing a shadowy line again too, BUT again, I think it's just faulty.

I'll keep an eye on it, but I don't think it's anything. Just a false alarm :)

Disappointing, but I'm actually ok with it all. It just means I haven't O'd yet but we still have a chance :)

I'm so weak

I used another FRER. SIGH!

Took another wondfo, and there's a very very faint crap nothing line on it, but that was enough for me to use another FRER! lol
This FRER is also showing a faint nothing line

I popped open the first one to see if there was an indent that could be showing through and nope. No test line indent at all. ANd on the dull side you could kinda see the 2nd line a little better. Not enough to determine if it's a BFP line though.

Ok, I am definitely saving the last FRER for something more concrete! I can't justify spending a bunch of money on pregnancy tests any longer so I gotta get out of this obsession with peeing on sticks.

IF I did ovulate (which I'm thinking I didn't), then I'd be 11dpo which isn't normal for me since my LP is only 10 days... or at least it was pre-preg.


UGH I hate this obsessive feeling. Gonna go start on that baby blanket and watch some animal cops on youtube to try to take my mind off of this.

Oh and here's the 2nd FRER tweaked

pls tell me I'm not seeing things and that there is a faint 2nd line there. Not a BFP line, just a faint something.

FRER

Ok so, not what I was hoping for. Was hoping it would be like when I found out I was pregnant with Zoe. Shadowy something on a wondfo and a faint but obvious line on a FRER.
But no such luck.
First glance to non POASaholics, it looks BFN, but there is something there.

NOT saying it's BFP b/c it could definitely be the test line showing like has happened with many tests.

I tried getting a photo. It's a squinter for sure, even tweaked.

I'm leaning towards the wondfo being faulty and the FRER just showing a non positive test strip.

Going to probably go through all of my wondfo HPTs in the next few days but well, I need answers!
The last 2 FRERs will be saved if anything else shows up on a wondfo. Just have to remember to save the pee :P When have you ever heard THAT said before? hehe


Another photo in different light, still tweaked some. Still can barely see the 2nd line, but it's a little better than the one above.

Just dipped another

Just took another test. It's been a minute....
If another shadow pops up, I'm heading back out to Walmart for FRER. I have the pee saved so I can use it with a FRER.

Going to go cross eyed staring at it.... have to distract myself for the next 4mins.
I may still go out and buy some tests. Gah, that's another what... $12? though for a pack of 3.

It's been 4 mins and not sure I see anything..... my eyes want to see something but not sure if that's the line-o-vision kicking in.
Dernit..... yeah, once Zoe wakes, I'm gonna head out to get better tests.

Last HPT

At least the last one until ovulation has been confirmed. Think I have 18 left now hehe.
That's plenty if I use them sparingly when the TWW comes.... HA lol

OPK this morning looks.... meh. Kinda how they always do. Maybe a little darker. We'll see how one looks later.

I'm still getting aches in the right O area so really hoping it's a follicle growing :)

____

Hmm, ok so it's been a few minutes since I started this post, looked at my HPT and I swear there's a shadow on it.
Not sure if it's after the time limit though.... or well, it is, but maybe by only 5 or so minutes... so not that long.
Damnit.... looks like some of those 18 are gonna get used :P lol

I tried getting photos...
It's really hard to see so I tweaked as best I could (contrast & brightness). It's still really hard to see though

With the OPK so it's a bit easier to see where the shadow is. And then alone w/ no reference.

Not sure what to think right now. All of the HPTs before had a big load of nothing on them and then well..... here's this one coming along to make my heart skip a whole bunch of beats! GAH!
Damnit, and I was just over by walmart too.
____

Anyway... Went out this morning to get yarn. DH gave the ok for me to spend a little bit of money heh. We have like 400 to last us until next friday. It shouldn't be a problem b/c other than eating out tonight and maybe tomorrow for dinner, we don't go out.

Stopped by Michaels first to see what yarn they had on sale. Not much so headed to Joanns and I'm glad I did. They had a lot of great yarn on clearance for $1.97 (some were less than a dollar but all of those were sold out). I got a bunch of really good stuff including the color and softness I wanted for SiL's baby blanket :D WOO! Love me some good deals heh.
____

And finally, since it would be weird if I didn't post some Zoe photos since I posted pee stick ones...


MiL got her the cute little chair and Zoe decided the best use for it was to give us a heart attack. I was just out of frame while DH took the photo so I would've caught her if she fell :D

Typical kid, enjoying the wrapping paper and the box more than the actual presents heh

____


So, yeah, my morning has gotten a lot more interesting!

Welp.....

Nothing still on HPTs or OPKs for that matter.
So unless I did O, and there's an egg implanting at this very moment..... I think I'm still waiting to actually ovulate.
I'm cool with that, although admittedly a little disappointed.

I should have plenty of OPKs left even though I've been going through them like crazy these last few days. Just hope I do actually ovulate.
Still not sure WTH my body is doing w/ this bloating and what not.
Think I may have a cyst or something on my right O. It ached whenever I was on my stomach favoring that side. Maybe it's an egg maturing. I can hope :)

____

UGH I still feel bad for saying my cousin has bad taste in kid's clothes. She really is a great person. She has so much charisma (unlike yours truly) and is just one of those types of people you want to be friends with. I just can't say enough great things about her b/c it will never do her justice *nodnod*
____

Enough of my guilt though....

Seems like Zoe is discovering something new to do every day. Yesterday she started pointing at herself, then would point or put her hand on me and would keep doing it. She was babbling so not sure what she was doing but in her little brain, she was making sense heh.

Have I mentioned brushing her teeth?? Of course she enjoys the flavored safe toothpaste we use, but she wants to hold the toothbrush and will do that "AAAAH" sound while she moves the toothbrush in her mouth. She isn't exactly doing it right but it really tickled us pink to see her do it like 2 days after we actually started brushing her teeth (this was maybe a month ago? when we started).

On a not so positive Zoe note..... I'm not sure if she even went to sleep during her 2nd nap time. She started fussing around 3pm though when she usually wakes up from it so I went to get her.
Usually, she's smiley, but not yesterday. She wasn't having any of it and fussed until bedtime at 6. UUUUUUUUUUUUGH
I was counting down the seconds until DH got home, and of course, he was late! LOL
She either didn't sleep very long so woke up grumpy or didn't sleep at all which means sleepy and grumpy either way.
She better take a nap today *nodnod*

AND looks like her butt is breaking out AGAIN. I've been giving her yogurt every day but it's not helping. Seems as though her constipation has cleared though. Just gotta cream up her butt to keep the thrush, rash, whatever it is from spreading.

One more

Ok, one more mean post lol.
I love my cousin to death. She's such a funny person and has 3 beautiful smart children.
BUT...... this is totally mean.... she has the worst taste in kids clothes! lol
She keeps liking children's clothes sites and UGH. Every single one of them looks like clown clothes for kids. They're SO ugly and poofy with frills and polka dots and just ugly. Polka dots aren't bad, but with the colors on some of these clothes, and the styles.... BLEH.

I feel terrible even saying it and thinking it but I had to. Every day I log on and she has liked some other kind of ugly outfit and I just hope that she's not actually dressing her kids in anything like it :P

Not saying I have the best taste in the world though. I'm sure ppl look at what Zoe is wearing and question my taste heh.

Stupid Line-O-Vision!

Just took some more tests and my line-o-vision SOOOOOOOOO wants to see a line!!
I think I can see where the test line should be.... but as for an actual "You're pregnant!" line, no.
SIGH!

Why is breastfeeding always such a heated topic??
I just do not understand why either side gets SO worked up over this shit.
It's breastfeeding.......

If you want to do it, then do it.
If you do it and feel that it's not for you, then don't do it.
If you want to go straight to formula, then do that.

Simple, easy... no fuss.
But no, people have to make it in to a boring debate where the same boring shit gets posted over and over and over again.

Anyway, blahblahblah....

This HPT is mocking me!!! Or my line-o is! Or maybe both!
It's like one moment I think I can see something, and then the next, nope.
Well, if there really is something there, it SHOULD be there and hopefully darker tomorrow.
____

Oh and found out SiL has gestational diabetes. Sucks but hopefully she'll start eating better. She texted me asking me about taking cinnamon supplements.
Straight up told her it wasn't a good idea.  I know she wants to continue eating how she usually does, but nope, not gonna happen if she wants to keep that little boy in there healthy.
She was on low carb before getting pregnant, so hopefully it won't be too painful to do that again for the rest of her pregnancy.

BFNothing

Taking OPK and HPT and a whole lot of nothing to report. My eyes start to cross b/c I stare at the HPTs so hard trying to will that 2nd line to pop up lol.
My OPKs are really light now too. I always get a line on OPKs but the lines I'm getting now are lighter than usual. Not sure what that means if anything.


If I did O, then I could be 9dpo today. Maybe my body will surprise me and I'll suddenly get a positive OPK and actually know for once. Well, whatever happens happens I guess. Sigh. I do not enjoy this part of TTC. The waiting SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.

Also, this mild constipation thing is still going on. It's like every other day will be normal, and then the one in between will be nothing going on.
Pretty sure whatever is causing it is also causing my weight to go up up up. I haven't been eating junk and my weight has gone up by 3lbs since the last time I took it (sometime last week). I can tell my stomach is a bit bloated b/c I can't suck in at all lol.
____

Zoe has figured out how to shake her head. She sometimes uses it if she's upset, but most of the time it seems she'll do it when she's just being silly or dancing.

I can't wait for her to talk though. I know she gets so frustrated when she wants something but we don't understand.

She's been saying Momamamamamama, but not towards me. SIGH! Every time she says it, and I say MAMA! To her, she says Dada! lol. Guess that's become our little game :P
____

Ranting! Come on now.... would it be my blog if there wasn't some kind of rant? :P Sigh... It's the only place I can so... yeah.

I'm SOOOOOO sick and tired of DH's aunt's husband's facebook posts. I'm on FB more often now b/c of my DD group and my TWW group moving there. So what does that mean? I see all of the bullshit some other people post and it's getting on my damn nerves!!
He's the type that if he sees something clever INSTA-PUTITONFACEBOOK.... which is fine... whatever.
But some of the shit he reposts..... redneck bullshit cringeworthy shit.
He posts A LOT of religious stuff. Which whatever, he's religious, that's fine.
But some of it comes off, actually no, doesn't even come off as... it is blatantly "My religion is better than these other ones" shit.
Just ignorant horse shit that Southerners are stereotyped in to believing and well, he isn't helping matters.

UGH....

____

Enough of that....
So, I do still plan on trying screen printing... eventually. Money is a little tight ATM from Zoe's party so, it's not gonna happen any time soon.

Speaking of things I want to spend money on heh...

Going to crochet SiL a tardis blanket for her new LO. :D BUT that's gotta wait too. I don't have the right kind of yarn and need to buy some. Thankfully yarn isn't too expensive, but I'm still gonna wait until we have a little more money.

I want to buy FRER SO bad, but again, not a lot of money. If I see something on a wondfo, I'll go out and buy some, but until then, nope.

Hmmm

Quick post....

I am getting, what I think is definite aching in my right ovary. Best way to describe it is like a very mild burning sensation. It's not constant, but it's there and I'm fairly confident NOT digestive issues related. It's right where anyone would expect ovaries to be and I dunno... probably just me over analyzing but wanted to mention it anyway.

Randomness...

Zoe is sleeping so I have a few to waste.

Poor girl is still constipated. Not sure why other than no formula. Didn't think that would cause this though.
She had nothing yesterday and squeezed out some pellets a little while ago. Her belly looks so big b/c of bloating.
We got her some juice to hopefully help move things, but the one from yesterday didn't seem to do anything. Will have to give her another today.
She LOVES the juice though. We just stuck a straw in the little container and she drank it all in a minute flat. Girl loves her food....
OH I forgot, there was one food she didn't like.
It's this pulled pork BBQ at a fast food place called Rush's. It uses the Carolina BBQ sauce, the mustard based stuff. She's not a fan of it.
DH tried giving her some and she spit it out. Then his aunt tried giving her some and she spit it out again.
That's been the only thing so far.

OH and we're good on peanut butter with her, thank goodness! DH gave her some on a cracker a few days ago and she loved it. Gave her more last night and she tore it up!

Oh I hear her awake.....

Really quick...
I'm still having SOME mild constipation. I only went once yesterday, but went at my usual time today. We'll see if things are normal today.
Other symptoms, really nothing. Could say maybe some twinges and things down around the uterus, BUT that could easily be gas and whatnot from the digestive issues.
Just wish there was something that would tell me if I did ovulate already or not.

OPKs and HPTs are negative. Taking hpts reminds me of how line-o-vision I get. I can see the 2nd line, or more like, I THINK I can see where the 2nd line should be. It happens with pretty much any test.
I guess when you've been taking them for so long and taking SO many of them, it's habit for your eyes to go to the right spot.

o_O

Our baby chewed on her crib rail. DH went to check on her b/c she started fussing after we put her down for the night and saw that she had started chewing on the front rail of her crib. She managed to chew off the paint. WTF??
Apparently this is a problem though b/c there are crib protector things you can buy. Got one on amazon for 20. It's just for the front rail. Hopefully she doesn't figure out she can chew on the side ones b/c those are 20 as well. SHEESH.
Seriously though... WTF?? Why does no one warn you about these things??
Your child is going to be cranky while they teeth, not sleep etc etc. Oh and once they get some teeth, they're gonna become a beaver and start gnawing on that wood crib. O_O

Crazy babies!
____

Speaking of crazy, I started HPTs LOL

IF I did ovulate, then I'm what, only 6dpo at the most :P heh
I have 40 IC wondfos though so... yeah, they're burning a hole in my pocket so to speak.

If if If...... I hate that word... well, when it comes to my fertility and ovulating. IF I ovulated..... why can't it just be... IF we caught the egg b/c I KNOW I ovulated. Although I'm sure that If has to suck just as much when you've been trying for a while. We'll see what happens though.
____

I'm really getting tired of MiL and DH's aunt making comments about Zoe. Just little digs at us. Like DH's aunt trying to get Zoe to call me Lisa. WTF bitch?? DH told her to stop though when she started up with it today.
And of course they want to feed her whenever they see her. That's fine, but don't start talking under your breath (but still loud enough that we can hear it) about how inappropiate some of the things we give her are.
I'm not talking about junk food or anything, I mean some things that might be a bit too hard for her to eat. DH gave her some of his Chinese food.
All of it was pretty soft but of course they (MiL and his aunt) had to loud whisper to eachother how some of it was too hard and blahblah. Excuse me, but who is with her all week long feeding her?? Yeah, WE are, not THEM. We know what she can and can't handle.
And MiL, UGH..... she means well but I just want to shake her sometimes.
Whenever Zoe eats, if Zoe coughs even a little, MiL FREAKS the hell out and practically yells out that she's choking. Yeah, she does this in the middle of restaurants so of course everyone around us whips their head around to see if our baby is choking which she isn't.
We've told her AND SiL has told her numerous times, if she is coughing, she isn't choking. It's those moments when you don't hear anything and see them trying to gag something up.... THAT is choking and lord those moments are scary. Coughing... no.

Anyway, minor things that I'll have to learn how to deal with b/c I know they're never going to end.

Stay away!

Me that is, I need to stay away from the TWW site!!
Pfft, I won't, but I really should. It keeps getting my hopes up and I get that all too familiar obsessive feeling.

So to get some of it out.... here we go...

I'm a little constipated (not in normal person term but in ME term). That is not normal for me. Hell, with my digestive issues, I go multiple times a day whether if I like it or not.
My usual time is about an hour after I wake up, middle of the day, and then sometimes before bed.
I haven't gone at all today and b/c of that, I'm pretty gassy and bloated. And the thing is, I've eaten some foods that should've gotten things moving.
So yeah, there's that.

Now it could be because of the no #2, but I've been feeling some twinges and things down there in hopefully uterusville. But as I said, it could easily be digestive stuff that I was feeling.

And yeah, that's about it lol.
IF I did even ovulate, I'd only be maybe 3-5dpo, so really earl, so even if we did have a chance then this all could just be normal post-O stuff for me. Something I'm not familiar with.

Anyway... so yeah... not much to obsess over but I do it anyway when Zoe is sleeping lol.
I am still taking OPKs at least twice a day and nothing on them. They've gotten lighter since that dark test. That's not saying much though. On a long anov or long O cycle, they're all voer the place. No where near being a + but lighter, slighter darker, slightly lighter, etc etc.
 ____

Zoe, gosh, she is developing so fast.
She can say banana. Or the 1yo equivalent of it heh. It comes out as "anana" So cute. She loves her bananas :D
And she keeps saying "Ee-duh" Frickin DH's aunt keeps thinking she's trying to say Lisa. PISSES me the hell off when she (the aunt) starts trying to get Zoe to say "Lisa, Lisa, Lisa".... no, I'm fucking MAMA and Zoe is NOT trying to say Lisa. But of course, I can't scream that in to her face and snatch my baby away. I'll have to be happy with the drama playing out in my head :P

Zoe still doesn't say Mama though. Well, she has, but not towards me. Whenever we try to get her to say it, she'll smile and say Dada. She thinks it's a game now b/c we always laugh when she does it. It's adorable so I'm ok with no Mama just yet. She'll get there eventually :)

Can't remember if I mentioned this, but we've been trying to get her to say Yoda LOL. That's about the time she started saying Ee-duh so we think that's her version of Yoda and she's adopted it for other things now.
Oh well, making her a nerd one word at a time :D 

Again and again

Poor Zoe's little private area just can not escape getting a rash and/or thrush!
She's been a little constipated and yesterday, well, that cleared up with a giant nasty wet poop. She usually fusses when she's pooed so we'll check and see, but she didn't with this one. maybe b/c there wasn't a giant turd she was sitting on, so I have no idea when she did it.
I cleaned her up really well though. There was a spot of red down there, but nothing major.
DH gave her a bath (I'll get to that in a min), and she was fussing which she usually doesn't do during bathtime so I asked him what was wrong and he said her stuff was red and inflamed.
Figured it was maybe just a little red, nothing major, that is until I saw him changing her after. Poor girl can not get a break! Or well, her breaks are very short.
Thankfully this morning most of it has cleared up though.
Gosh, I really hope she outgrows all of this. Would hate for her to have chronic problems like this when she's older.

But on to the bath thing. I could've smacked DH last night.
So we give Zoe a bath every other day. Yesterday was a bath day and I had said to DH that I would give her a bath, which I had fully intended to do.
She gets pretty messy during the day and she usually goes right to bed after a bath so figured I would just wait until a little before bedtime to give it to her.
DH's guy's night plan fell through so since he was going to be home, I had to fix us dinner (AND something else for his lunch the next day I might add), so what do I think..... DH can just give her a bath while I cook dinner.
Well DH threw me a look like I just asked him to rob a damn bank when I told him to give Zoe a bath. That "Are you kidding me?" look. And yeah, he did say "Are you kidding me??"
And yes, I TOLD him to give her a bath b/c dinner wasn't about to fix itself and the dishes sure as hell weren't going to magically get clean either.
Spending an hour and a half with his daughter before she goes to bed, even if some of that time is spent giving her a bath isn't too much to fucking ask is it? Geezus.
I love my DH to pieces and he's a great guy but MAN does he have his asshole moments.

____

Anywho.... I'm TOTALLY getting my hopes up way too much. Still don't know if I ovulated, but I can't help but get my hopes up that I did.
I won't be too devastated if I didn't or if AF shows though. It will still suck balls though.

I headed over to tww forums to the peestick section.
It's fun to obsess with some, but man, I REALLY wish some of the 'supporters' didn't cry out BFPBFPBFPOMGCONGRATS when the test posted is VERY questionable. I see so many tests where it does look like something is there (maybe), BUT it's a cheapy test and there's no obvious color to it. I think all of us who have ever been a POASaholic know better than to scream and celebrate over that. You just have to be so cautious at first.
Just upsetting that these blind supporters are giving women false hope.

Stuff

Zoe is constipated. She'll go once a day, but her normal schedule is 2-3 times. Not sure what's going on there since we haven't changed her diet. I mean other than no formula, nothing else has changed.

Doesn't seem to bother her too much though. Funny seeing her pause and get that straining poo face though lol.

In other toilet news... I woke up to pee SOOOOOOOOOO many times last night. I got up at least 6x to pee.... and these were full blown streams too. I knew I was bloated, but not that much. SHEESH.
I'm still feeling bloated so, there's still more in there that needs to come on out already.

Wish it could be 10 days from now already. While that one OPK was probably just a fluke test, I'm still hoping it wasn't and that we caught the egg.
I have been having some right O area twinges. I was having them before the OPK.
It could be anything though, but keeping my FX that my body did decide to O in a timely manner.
FXFXFXFXFXFX!!

While the waiting does suck, thankfully having my day filled with Zoe keeps me distracted :)
She is becoming quite the willful handful though. Hoping it's a phase that goes quickly (although I'm sure it doesn't).
She is throwing mini tantrums when we wont give her something or we take something away from her. If she's laying down and that happens, she'll actually kick her legs out. Most other times she'll start crying and fussing up a storm and will do this head down thing. It's pretty cute but it does get tiring. Girl better get used to being told "No" though and not getting her way. *nodnod*

So...

BDing is done and done lol.
Figures.... as soon as we have to BD for anything other than fun and DH doesn't want to. We did though so pffffft.


Anywho...
Zoe had her appointment today. She weighs in at 21lbs 7oz. Thought it would be higher b/c lil miss fussy butt sure feels like she weighs more and she eats A LOT.
She did pretty well getting her shots and finger prick too. Didn't even flinch on the finger prick and cried for only a minute on the shots before glaring at the nurse lol.
Hopefully she doesn't have any kind of reaction to the shots.
She was SOOOOOOOO fussy when we got home though.
She woke up at 7am which is about 1-2hrs before her normal time. She went back to sleep at around 8:30. Woke up at 9, went back to sleep at 11:30 and woke at 1. She usually takes her 2nd nap at 1. So yeah, her schedule was all screwed up so she was tired a lot sooner than her usual bedtime. Poor baby.

Her doc gave us some samples of medicated lotion to use on her eczema. Hopefully it works. They're supposed to call in a slightly stronger hydrocortizone(sp) cream for her. I gotta pick up my met tomorrow anyway so hopefully it's ready.

Zoe has these patches of small white pimples on her face and arms that will not go away. So frustrating, but thankfully the areas don't seem to bother her.

Anywho, off to go crochet some. Gotta start making SiL baby stuff. Have a lot to do for that.

What the fudge??

Ok, so I took an opk this morning. Forgot about it until maybe 20mins after taking it.
Went and looked and it's almost if not positive. WOOOO and holy crap!!!
I needed to pee again so decided to take another test. I could tell right away that it was NOT going to be a +. So... I used 2 more after that in the same urine.
All 3 coming back the same. BFN on OPK.

The last test I took last night was right before bed at 10pm and it was very negative.
Maybe I could have surged and it was just really short and I caught the tail end of it?

Not sure what to think, just feeling a big discouraged. Got SO excited seeing that test and then shot it all to hell when I took the others.

Going to try BDing tonight just in case.
IF it was the tail end of a surge, then I hope we'll still have a chance.
No way we're gonna know though until 10 days from now. If I get AF or BFP..... we'll see.

Back to it then....

Man, the women in my group are getting pregnant again left and right it seems lol. Hopefully it will be our turn again soon.
We're back to eating a stricter diet. I am totally fine with that b/c after a week of not caring, I feel SO bloated and just terrible. Just an overall.... off feeling.
Bad thing is though, the sugar and carbs are so frickin addictive. After having cake at Zoe's party, I was nauseous that night. Woke up feeling like I never wanted cake ever again, later in the day, I was craving it. WTF??
Anyway, DH is determined to keep us on a stricter diet and so am I. We had our fun, now it's time to get healthy again.

I'm fixing slow cooker pepper steak tonight. YUM!

Pot Roast, soy sauce, 1 can of diced tomato, 1 onion sliced, 4 small bell peppers (from the garden), 1 tablespoon of beef bouillon, black pepper. Plop it all in to a slow cooker and voila, delicious dinner in 6-8hrs on low :D
We'll be having baked potato or baked sweet potato with it.
____

Hmm, I only just started using OPKs yesterday. I figured I could start testing late considering how late I got AF, but there were a few days there when I had some extra cervical fluid. We DTD yesterday, didn't stay on my back or anything after. *shrugs* We'll see.
I'll just continue with the OPKs, twice a day now and hope we catch something :)
____

Zoe has her 1y appointment this afternoon. SO not looking forward to the shots. Her doc said they're usually pretty brutal. I don't want my baby girl to feel bad :(
Gosh, I hope the vaccinations aren't too bad for her.

She is growing up so fast.
We haven't given her a bottle in about 3 or 4 days now and she's been perfectly fine.
We were only giving her a bottle twice a day, once before bed, then again when she woke up early morning around 5am.
We stopped the one before bed, just giving her her sippy cup and now.... seems like she's good with no early morning bottle now.
If she wakes, I have been giving her sips of water from her sippy and she seems content with that.

Now to just wean her off of her pacifiers lol. She's still very dependent on them to get to sleep and I dread that day we decide to start weaning. Hoping she'll do it herself but I don't think we're that lucky heh.

Anywho, she's back to sleep so gonna go do..... whatever the hell I want for the next 30min-1hr lol

Bitching! *this is gonna be long*

Yeah, going to be a lot of bitching and probably going to make myself sound like a giant one. But this is the only place I can vent it all.

Ok so, I know we really shouldn't judge other parents too hard. Most are just trying to do the best they can, but.... man, I'm so concerned about my nieces.

One is 9 the other 7. The 7 year old is already in need of a training bra b/c she is on the verge of being fat. Actually no, not even on the verge any longer, she is heavier than she should be by at least 10 (probably closer to 20) pounds which is a lot for a 7yo.

We had Zoe's pool party thing today and I was completely shocked with how large the 7yo's stomach was. The girl is SEVEN and already has cellulite. That is not right.

Now I know kids can be picky eaters, but everyone gives in to her when she refuses to eat real food and only wants junk. Sugary carb loaded junk food. DH's aunt was telling SiL how the 7yo didn't want eggs and other regular breakfast food that morning. Showed up a little while later with a Nutty Bar in her hand asking if she could have that instead and, YEP, they let her eat that instead of real food. And SiL just laughed and said yep, they usually just eat whatever they can reach.... ok so how about putting some healthier foods in their reach then......

UGH it just kills me!!
They are setting this girl up to have a weight problem before she even hits puberty. Or hell, b/c of the weight problem and all of the problems it can cause, she may hit puberty at the same time as her older sister.
How the hell do you bring up concerns without sounding like you're judging?? Even though maybe you are.... at least a little.

And the 9yo. UGH that child..... just film her for a day and send it out to all high schools and colleges and it would increase condom sales 10x. That's so bad to say and she's not terrible sometimes, but the girl is just..... ugh. I love her, but damn.
I think it's partially DH's family's fault. They used to take her when she was just a baby and spoiled her rotten. And that is rotten with a capital EVERYTHING.
I think b/c of that, or some of that has shaped the 9yo in to being handed everything whenever she wants it. Oh, NOW she doesn't get everything b/c they're all sick of her entitled attitude, but it's like.... you can't really blame her b/c that's all she knew before. Ya know? She whines, she lies through her teeth, she whines some more, she cries at the drop of a hat over every damn thing (especially if she doesn't get her way), she gives MAJOR attitude towards her mom, and she whines... ALL THE TIME. And seriously... I really hope she grows out of it by the time she hits puberty b/c if she doesn't.... Lord help my brother and SiL b/c they're going to go through hell. Plus if she keeps up with it all, she's never going to have a boyfriend for more than a week b/c they're not gonna be able to stand her.

I could see the problems before, but now that we have Zoe, all of their problems... I can't help but notice and hope to whatever is out there that Zoe doesn't end up like that.
Makes me feel terrible to even think it, but I REALLY hope Zoe does not end up like her older cousins.

We're def going to try her out in some physical activities. Dancing and probably some sort of martial arts.

Anywho..... her pool party was meh, ok. Any other weekend, there are maybe 2-3 families at the pool at once. 2-3 families of 4 people each max. Not today though. Apparently a lot of people thought today was THE day to throw their own pool party along with bringing all of the 15 children to the pool!! Thankfully by the time we went in, some had left but there was still A LOT of people there.
Not that I have anything against sharing the pool, it just figures that the one time we have something planned for it, that is the day everyone else picks too.

Anywho, it was way too hot and after everyone got out of the pool, things were pretty miserable. We are not doing anything outside again for the next birthday party whenever that may be.
We got our junk food cravings out of the way this week and I've told DH, no more junk food. If we want to make that TTC in the fall deadline, I REALLY need to stop procrastinating about losing weight and just frickin do it already. SiL posted a photo she took today of Zoe eating her smash cake w/ DH and I sitting behind her and good lordy the fat rolls are so embarassing.

Oh another bitch....
Friday we went out with family as usual. First.... DH's aunt tried to give Zoe fucking SPRITE. Yeah, she tried to give her SODA. WTF????? I saw her giving Zoe tea and milk shake. Not happy with that but Zoe doesn't get a ton of it so not that big of a deal, but soda is another thing.
Thankfully, Zoe didn't like it and actually spit it out all over the aunt. But come on now... fucking soda at 1yo??? I wanted to punch her lights out.
And then, MiL asked what we did on Zoe's birthday. We told her we went out to dinner (which wasn't that good unfortunatly), and she got all upset b/c we didn't invite her.
Excuse the fuck out of us for wanting it to be just us for once. And she kept going on and on about it trying her best to make us feel bad... which we didn't.

Anyway, more photos to come. Zoe didn't get to open her presents today so we'll take some photos of her doing that tomorrow. And to leave on a more positive note...
The girl LOOOOOOOOOOOOVED her smash cake. It took a little bit for her to get going, but she dug right in. Didn't get all that dirty b/c she was shoveling it in to her mouth pretty darn well lol. Hope she doesn't wake tonight with an upset tummy.

We have a 1 year old

Holy crap! O_O
Where the hell has the last year went?? Sure, a lot of days it felt like forever, but most of the time just seemed to fly by.

Good lordy.....

I'll have more photos after her party and hopefully after SiL takes her photo, but for now.... Zoe through this last year with some photos taken today :)

My sweet little alien

Jaundiced, but still adorable!

And the photos are all out of order on my photobucket so here are a few of my favs :P

And finally, photos from today.

Some fun at the pool where she kept trying to lap up the water like a dog lol.

Early morning before we headed out to the store

Soaking in the rays

And dinner at a steakhouse.

Sigh, she doesn't smile for the camera anymore :( She'll be laughing and smiling and as soon as the camera comes out.... nothin LOL

As I said, will have some better photos to post in the next few days :)

Meh

Ok so.... bakery visit went... kinda ok.
The artist they had was booked up on Saturday orders so couldn't do the design I gave them from hand.
So they said we could print what I gave them on to sugar paper and put that on the cake. It was $10 and I was fine with that.
Another $10 to add on extra stars all over the cake and yep.... $65 plus some change later and we have ourselves a birthday cake for Zoe. She better appreciate this when she's older and looking at photos b/c the hell if we're spending this much on a cake again. Or at least not for a VERY long time ROFL. As DH keeps reminding me... she only has one first birthday.
And what I have to remind myself... yeah well, she only has one every other birthday too, but I'll let this one slide :P hehe

Just a few more days

... and we're going to have a 1 yo O_O O_O O_O
It's still so hard to believe that it's been a year already. GEEZE. It's just so strange, sometimes it feels like forever, other times, it feels like a blink of an eye.
I have to go back to a bakery this morning to see about getting her birthday cake ordered.
I'm probably going to bake her smash cake, but for everyone else, they're getting a different one.
Hopefully it's not too expensive. Gotta talk to the bakery's artist and see how much it will be. BLEH!

We went swimming yesterday. Zoe was NOT having any of it for about... 10-20mins, but once she saw that it was like a giant bath tub that she could splash and relax in, she had fun.
It was hilarious, she kept leaning forward trying to lap up the pool water like a dog LOL. We brought her sippy straw cup and gave that to her, but she wanted that pool water.. bleh heh.
 Most of the time, she just floated in her floaty thing we bought her and baby talked. It was a nice few hours we spent there and thankfully clouds covered the sun for a good portion of it so hopefully she didn't get burned. DH slathered her in sunblock so FX. DH and I both got a little burned. Doesn't hurt, just red.

Oh DH took off Thursday and Friday for Zoe's birthday. So happy he's getting a 4 day weekend! He has taken maybe ONE sick day the entire time he's worked at his job and rarely takes extra days off here and there for vacation. He works so hard to provide for us so I'm glad he's gonna be getting a nice long weekend.

Hopefully it doesn't rain on Saturday. News said 40% chance, but things could change of course. We bought some canopy tents to help shade everything or keep things dry if it does sprinkle. So.. yeah.. another FX for no rain!

Alrighty, I hear baby squirrel talking in her room... gotta go get her.
Oh before I do... have I said her nickname I gave her before?? There's really not a good reason I call her baby squirrel. I just kept calling her baby girl all the time and squirrel kinda rhymed with girl, and yeah... lame but it stuck heh.

And finally before I go... a HUGE HUGE HUGE

CONGRATS to LisaB on her adorable new little baby boy!!

Sleeeeeep

During heavy flow.... I slept like a log and it was GREAT!!!! Now that AF is pretty much done.... I'm back to sleeping like shit again and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Anyway, Zoe's birthday IS on for the pool! WOO! It's about damn time they got back to us. Frickin sucky assholes not doing their damn job they volunteered for!!
Means we have to go out and buy a big tent thing though. Hopefully it doesn't rain... and hopefully it's not too hot. Not a lot of shade in the area we hope to set up in.

I would still prefer to have something small at home, but whatever. Dh wants this and it will give us some good photos for the future.

SO not looking forward to Zoe's 1y shots. They warned us the shots are brutal on LOs and just ugh. We haven't had to deal with illness yet and I'm not looking forward to this set of shots... not that I look forward to any of them. I still had to get DH to hold her while they give her the shots b/c I can't bare to see it happen.

Anywho....
Zoe amazes me though. Her itsy bitsy spider gets better and better every day. She can do the whole hand gestures to it (in her own way of course), and tries to sing it while she does it too. It's SO cute.
Tried getting video of it yesterday, but she was more interested in climbing on me lol.

One of her top from teeth have cut through finally. She still looks all adorably snaggle toothed though heh.

Hope that shirt gets here soon. It's not all super girly 1y birthday like I did kinda want, but it will be just as cute.
I'm gonna be making her smash cake and we'll just be buying the cake for everyone else. Is it bad that I'm SOOOOO looking forward to some cake?? Lol, ok that does sound pathetic but I don't care.... CAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEE mmmmmmmmmmm *drool*