3:30am

Well, it's actually 3:35 now....

I think Zoe is hitting her 4m sleep regression late. This SUUUUUUUUUCKS.
She woke up at 12:30 for no reason.
Not sure how long she was awake for before hearing her fuss a little on the monitor. Thankfully she went back to sleep with no problem.
Fast forward to 2 and I start hearing a *thump thump thump on the monitor.
She has this new thing where she likes to kick/stomp her legs out when laying down.
Well... she does it A LOT and that's all I could hear on the monitor.

I get up to check on her and it looks like she's trying to go back to sleep.
NOPE, she was just waking up.
I fed her at 3 and she is wide awake in her crib right now.
I'm tired but wide awake at the moment so just decided to stay up for a bit rather than go lay down and have to get back up again to check on her.

Sigh.... at least she isn't crying and is happy to stay in her crib. I probably jinxed myself but oh well.
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I hope I ovulate soon and hope an OPK picks it up.
Only been taking one test a day when I remember to actually take one.
There are a ton of IC opks and hpts under my sink that need to be taken before June. Hopefully something will happen before then.
Think if it does happen, I should catch the LH surge. The cycle with Zoe, I took an OPK on a whim, and got an almost positive. Then the day after that, it was positive. And if memory is correct, that same night it was negative again.
Hopefully it's the same this time.

Def think that I will ovulate though. Not sure when, but I'm sure it will happen. With my anov cycles, I always spotted.... constantly. So as mentioned before, really hoping that bleeding and spotting that stopped is a great sign.
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I'm sure I've said this before... but natural childbirth is just so frickin overrated IMO.
Yes, it's great if a woman can endure it all, but I dunno... I just see so many aiming for it when I personally don't think it's necessary.
So many women afraid of the "OMFG CASCADE OF INTERVENTIONS!!!!!!!!1111111!11!!" and thinking that nurses and doctors are out to get them and a bunch of other ridiculous things.
OhNOES, the doctor or nurse asked if I wanted an epidural... OMGCSECTION!!!!!! It's so fucking stupid.
Yes, interventions can lead to an increased risk of c-sec, but in the end... what matters is momma and baby are both ok.
A nice birth experience is important, don't get me wrong, but WAY too much focus is put on the experience alone instead of the outcome. At least for some people.

And I'm also so fucking tired of hearing the arguement of " It's what our bodies were made to do!"
Yeah.... tell that to every woman that died during child birth or lost a baby during it.
My body was also meant to ovulate regularly, but PFFFT the hell if it does.
My brother, father, uncles, aunts, inlaws, etc bodies were meant to produce and use insulin correctly, but they don't.
It's such a cop out statement.
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Anyway, sorry for bitching so much.. I'm just ready to get back to bed (to toss and turn) already.