Thursday, December 29, 2016

When will I stop?

Thinking about when I'm gonna stop pumping. My supply dropped b/c of Christmas and b/c the 2 nights before, I was wanting to see if Ezra slept through the night or if he would wake when I usually fed him. He stirred a little, but would go back to sleep.
Just from those 3 days, my supply dropped by 100ml. Stupid boobs.
Trying to get it back up now, but the thought did cross my mind to just keep making it decrease.
I'm not going to just yet, but it's going to happen soon I think.
Maybe when Ezra is 6mo and eating solids more regularly.
I do want to slowly stop though. Do not want to just stop suddenly and go through that hell of being engorged. Man that sucks so much.
Hoping that if I do it slow, that I can avoid that, or at least avoid the worst of it.

Kinda sad to think about stopping though. My last baby.. this is the last time I'll be able to provide from my body for a baby.
Makes me feel happy that he prefers my breastmilk over formula lol. Nothing against formula at all, it's just nice knowing that he likes my milk better ;)
Oh well... he'll get used to it and will continue to thrive :)

I know DH is ready for me to stop. He's trying to blame me for him being late to church on Sundays (b/c of the pumping).
Total bullshit. Yes, I am a bit useless to do anything else b/c I'm stuck pumping, but trying to blame me for him being late to church that starts at 10:30 or is it 11? Don't think so buddy. He does let me sleep in but that's until 8.. maybe 8:30. I pump which takes 30mins. He could easily be taking a shower or doing whatever during that time. Even if he does wait, then he'll still have time to get him and the kids ready.
But nope... he'd rather be spending his time lounging around until the last minute. I mean, nothing wrong with lounging, but don't blame me for you being late when it's your own damn fault.

Also debating on when to start unswaddling Ezra.
He's ok being unswaddled once he's asleep, it's just going to sleep that is the problem. He rubs his eyes and ears so much that he keeps himself awake. BUT swaddling has started to make him fuss at night now. It's frustrating when I already don't sleep that well. Add in a baby that wants to start grunting b/c he's trying to free his arms.... and I am one tired momma in the morning.

MiL bought Zoe a new tablet for Christmas. (she asked us first). Just gave it to her yesterday. She loves those things so much. Actually got a protective case for it too so hopefully that will help prevent it from shattering like mine did. Sigh...
Oren is watching it right now. He doesn't quite understand how it works, but he'll get it.
Maybe next Xmas he'll get his own.... just as soon as he gets over throwing these tantrums.
Good lord, drive me crazy. He can be the sweetest little guy one second and then complete meltdown the next.
He better grow out of it soon... b/c I dunno how my sanity is going to hold up if Ez ends up being a tantrum thrower too.

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