Thursday, December 29, 2016

Pity Party... table for me...

I dunno.. just one of those self pity moments that has come over me. Decided to stalk an old high school "friend."
She was a giant bitch. Not really my friend even though I was nothing but nice to her. Only hung out together b/c of other friends in the same group.
Anyway... just some light stalking on facebook and.... she looks great. SIGH!
She posted a photo of her before and after weight loss and she's looking awesome now after losing a lot of weight.
Damnit lol.
Yes.. it's so petty of me. I'm sure she's a great person now.. or at least I hope she is. It's just that HS memories of her... I did kinda wish that she was fat :P

Oh well.. ya know... I'll use it as motivation. She could do it.. so can I. Right now I'm eating my weight in horrible shit, but DH and I are going to lose weight and damnit, we're gonna keep it off! Don't have the possibility of pregnancy to stop any progress I do make.
It's going to be hard work, but it's gonna happen :)
I just have to figure something out. SOme way to keep myself motivated b/c damn do I love food. I have a HUGE appetite and  I dunno what to do to keep it in check.

I do kind of wish I remembered more names from high school so I could stalk more people rofl. I seriously don't remember anyone's name. WTF?? I'm bad with names, but damn... this is just pathetic. DH and I went to the same HS and I know he has a yearbook somewhere. Just wish I could find it so I could do some light stalking just to see what a few people are up to now. Hopefully doing well.

But anyway.. pity party time. My life is pretty good. I really can't complain.. except for the fact that I have no friends of my own. Other than DH... there really isn't anyone and damn if that doesn't make me feel lonely sometimes.
I would love to have someone that I could go out to lunch with or just have them come over and hang out while our kids played or something.
Making friends as an adult is just impossible unless you're outgoing and charming.. which I'm not.
Just wish I hadn't been such an idiot when I was a teenager and stayed in touch with a few of the friends I did have.

Oh well.... I can't dwell on the past too much. I have an amazing family and will hopefully be in better health by the end of 2017 and beyond :) Gotta look to the future and get this body in to shape for myself and my fam!

Seriously thinking about videoing myself to keep motivated. Not sure though. I hate the sound of my voice :P

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