Welp

Wiped away some blood this morning. Should be getting AF then in a few days. Really wish I didn't spot so dang soon, but yeah... that answers that question lol.
I'm relieved but also sad too.
Relieved b/c I'm SO tired right now and having another at this time would put a lot of things on hold.
But sad b/c well... that was possibly another baby we were gonna have and all of those ideas and fantasies I was having aren't going to happen... at least not yet.

At least I can stop focusing on that and get back to losing more weight :)
And hey.... my body worked too! That's awesome news right there :D It means those days when I saw the CM were actually for fertile days and not random. That's pretty cool in my book.

I would really like to lose a lot more weight before we have another. Just feeling so determined right now to get this weight off and well.. pregnancy and another baby would've hindered those just a tiny bit :P lol
I think if I stay focused and keep eating right and exercising... MAYBE by next summer we could start trying. Would still mean we'd have the baby before DH turns 40 and children would be spaced a little further apart.
I dunno... we'll see what happens. It's still up in the air IF we're even going to have another.
It's like some parts of me definitely wants another... but then other parts of me are happy with the 2 we have. Conflicting emotions. I'm sure things will be a bit more clear down the road. Funny how your wants change like that... especially when you're faced with something that you weren't planning for.