Ok, so Ezra did finally go to sleep last night after crying for over an hour. Felt SO bad and wanted to go in there to comfort him, but this had to be done.
Thankfully he just went down for a nap with no problem. THANK GOODNESS.
My sanity and blood pressure couldn't have handled another day of screaming/crying kids.
IN other news... we started back with healthy eating this week. Ya know... I'm cool. I'm still getting over that want/urge to have something sweet after dinner, but overall, I'm good. It sucks not having a variety of snacks I can pick from, but I know the snacky stage will pass soon too.
My weight has gotten to around 225 give or take, but I feel the fattest I've ever been. Like all this weight gained has gone right to my stomach, arms and double chin. I have the body of a very unhealthy 70yo woman right now and I am not happy about it.
Only have myself to blame though. I should've stuck with it when we started back up again before, but I let holiday stuff get me off track. I made excuses and then didn't bother getting back to better eating again.
My downfall is that... I just love junk food. I love the food that isn't good for me. I love the food that makes me gain weight like no ones business. And I LOOOOOOOOVE to eat it! Oh and I'm lazy as shit too. SO.... LAZY.... and I enjoy being lazy. I enjoy not getting up and doing. I enjoy lounging around. I don't have the spare energy to exercise or go out for a walk b/c pfft.. NOPE... that's why.
I should do it though. I know the kids would enjoy walking around the neighborhood.
Sigh......
So off on this weight loss journey I go again. I still have that feeling of this being different some how. Like.... I mean... I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I've kind of accepted myself. I'm not happy with my weight, but I'm good overall. Does that make sense?
I'm also not obsessing over my weight. At least not right now. I've weighed myself maybe 3 times in the last month.... and before, I would've completely stripped off my clothes and weighed myself lol, but now.... pfft. Aint no one got time for that lol. Helps that I have kids to distract me, but I just haven't had the urge to weigh myself like I have before.
Anyway..... as it was before.... plan is to eat low carb. Friday dinner will be a cheat and yep... we'll take it from there. I think right now we need to be strict other than Friday dinner.
Get back in to it and then once we're used to it again and are losing weight, maybe introduce one carby meal every other week. Like something with fries, rice, noodles/pasta whatever.
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