Sorry I've been MIA!!

Woah... for some reason some of my vids have gotten a lot more views. Wonder what that is about. Maybe from spam accounts or something. /shrugs

Anyway.. sorry I've been MIA. Just living life and doing stuff :P lol
Seriously though.. it's kind of same old same old.
Kids are finally NOT sick for once. I'm sure that will change soon enough.
Dogs are sick now though.....
Rocko was the first to get the hershey squirts... now it's my Ciddy Bears turn. Poor puppers.
Rocko really didn't act sick. Just kept crapping liquefied grossness everywhere (3 times in the house).
But my Cid.... poor little pup is old and sick so he's not acting too great. Hopefully he'll feel better soon.
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I've been working on my aquariums lately. Can't remember if I mentioned that already.
Almost have my 125g tank clean. It was gross and neglected before. I managed to remove all the wood from it and clean off and put back in the pieces that I wanted back in there.
Cleaned the glass of the tank and a lot of the substrate. Still need to clean the substrate some more to really make sure that most of the nastiness has been removed but overall.. it looks a thousand times better than it did before.

I didn't get a before pic of when it was still all gross. Probably wouldn't have been able to see much anyway b/c the glass was so covered in algae and gunk.
This is what it looked like after 2 cleanings and big water changes.
Still a couple of spots that needed to be cleaned but Sooooooo much better.

Yesterday, I started on the 55 gal. It's a tank that used to be my mom's but she got rid of it and gave it to me. It's over 20 years old. It's eventually going to be taken down too. But it's staying up for now to be used as a quarantine tank for when we start getting more fish for the big tank.
Anyway.. yesterday... I started taking out a couple of the plants. I had just intended on taking a few out and maybe trying to catch a couple of the plecos in it to move to the big tank. But it turned in to me pulling up all but 2 of the plants and catching all of the plecos. lol
That tank was gross though. It was SO overgrown with an underwater moss that trapped all of the gross gunk in it.
I need to do a few more water changes in it before we start buying more fish. It currently only has one little platy in there. Don't want to move it to the big tank b/c I'm afraid the current fish in the big tank would pester it to death.
Anyway... here's the big tank now. Looks a bit scraggly with all the plants from the 55 in it.
I need to rearrange just a little and I'm getting a few more plants in the mail this week.
DH surprised me and let me buy some new LED lights for it. Should be getting that next week :D
I'm so excited to get back in to the hobby.
It's not a cheap hobby, but it will be nice to have a big beautiful tank again.
I just can't get lazy with it like I did before.

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I let the kids play outside the other day. Think it was Saturday.
Our water bill is going to be SO high! lol
Worth it though :)

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And finally for now.
Kids start gymnastics tomorrow!! So excited for it. Need to wash Zoe's leotards. She could just wear shorts and a shirt though. They don't have a dresscode or anything other than no shoes in the gymnastics area.
Really hope they both enjoy it and really hope Ezra behaves while they're in their classes. Also hoping they both behave while they wait too. Oren's is first, then Zoe's.
I know she's gonna be super anxious so go start her class when we get there lol.
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Oh yeah.. diet was a bit blah this weekend, but it's back on track now :)
I'm not letting some minor setbacks get me back in to poor food choices.
Cheats are gonna happen, but that's part of this whole process and I'm done disappointing myself.
This time next year... I'm gonna be thinner and I'm not going to look back and wish I had stuck with it.

It's my turn now

I threw up in the middle of the night.
Woke up and felt nauseous. Tried ignoring it and going back to sleep, but no. I had to puke
Thing is though... there wasn't much of anything in my stomach so I didn't throw up a lot.
Just glad that this isn't a bad stomach bug. Annoying as shit, but not anywhere near as bad as that last one that completely sapped your energy.

Zoe still has gross poo and so does Oren now. Well.. he actually threw up last night in his sleep too and he's had gross diarrhea all day today. Super stank, watery, but also grainy?

Ezra and DH seem to be the only ones that have been spared from this so far. Hopefully they won't get sick.
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DH came home at 9 last night. I was pissed off b/c he didn't see the kids all day. I know he sensed it b/c he kept asking me if I was.. and I kept saying no lol. I mean.. there really wasn't a reason for me to be mad. Sigh.. I hate it when I feel like that. Just unreasonably mad or mad at something stupid.
I'm over it now and obviously I'm feeling a bit guilty about it. Damn emotions! lol
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Oh at the Sunday thing at church.. this woman had the cutest little baby girl ever. I dunno how old she was... maybe 4 or 5 months? Still really young and tiny and so GD cute and chunky!
Holy crap it gave me some serious baby fever. How ridiculous is that though? I still have a baby!! rofl
It just made me long for another girl though. Sigh...
Seriously.. getting my tubes tied was totally the right decision, but I think I'm still going to mourn not being able to have anymore for a little while longer.
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And that's all for now. It's raining pretty good and I want to post this in case we lose power.

Seriously... again?

Zoe is sick.. again. Well, both her and Oren are with a stomach bug.. AGAIN.
WTH??????
So tired of this crap......

Oh.. AND... Rocko has the squirts and proceeded to go in to the hallway that leads to the kids' rooms and blast a dook all over the floor and wall. Without warning I might add. He's still a puppy, but GD is it annoying as hell that he's not house trained yet.
Like he'll go out for an hour.... 15mins back inside and he's already pissed and/or shit. Yesterday.. it was exactly that. I look in the sunroom and there he is.. just hunched over taking a crap.
SO damn ANNOYING!

Thankfully poo is easy to clean, but it's still disgusting and there's always residue or at least you think there could be so that just makes it grosser when the kids or yourself have to walk in the area.


Ezra is good though. Still not crawling, but not worried....
Ok I am worried a little bit, but also not.
He gets on his stomach and just rotates on his stomach and scoots backwards lol. I think he thinks that's enough. He's only ever gotten on to his knees a couple of times, but not hands and knees. /shrugs
Hopefully there isn't a problem.

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DH has gone off to a work BBQ thing. Yeah... I didn't want to go and have no regrets about it!
But then he's making me go to some church BBQ thing tomorrow and a birthday party on Sunday /grumble
What the hell???
We don't get invited to shit and then all of a sudden, all of this crap all at once!

So yeah... a whole mess load of cheats this week and I am not happy with it.
I'm sure my weigh in won't be great.

I'm not really happy with DH right now either.
So he volunteered at the church Awana program. That's fine.. I didn't mind at all.
But then to hear how he's some of the kids' male kind of father figure and how they look up to him etc.... ok.. that's all well and good and I'm glad he can do that.
But then when he's home... he's just annoyed and frustrated and has a super short fuse with our kids.
He's a great dad most of the time, it's just recently I've noticed his annoyance and then to hear someone talk about him like that towards other children just annoyed me is all.
/shrugs
I dunno... just feels like lately our kids have only been getting the annoyed mean daddy that only gets to see them a couple of hours before they go to bed.

Ugh.. I don't want to paint him as a horrible father b/c he's not. He's SO far from being a bad dad. Hell.. I have my weeks of being in a shit mood too and yelling a bit more than I should. I'm just venting. Need to clear that up before anyone thinks he's some horrible person. lol



There was something else but I've forgotten b/c Zoe just drew on the carpet with chalk.
Chalk.. think it's easy to get out of carpet right? Yeah... no. Sigh........ -_-

Sick gross nasty!

That's been the theme in this house the last couple of days lol.

Thankfully this stomach bug has been pretty mild for the kids. Poor Oren has gotten it again? Or it didn't completely go away for him just yet. He's acting totally normal.. just has disgusting poop and threw up on his bed again. Gross poop that leaked out. BLEH!

I hope I don't get sick too. Thankfully I've avoided it for now. I'm sure all of the extra hand washing I've been needing to do has helped.
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Diet is going well, but I dunno if my weigh in tomorrow will reflect it since I still have the appetite of a starving elephant.

I'm finally going to try to exercise today. Just something light.
Saw someone post a video for beginners yoga that I'm going to try out.
I am still spotting right now.
Stupid period can't make up it's mind if it wants to continue or stop.
Really really hoping that when I do start losing more weight... this fixes.
Would love nice predictable periods.
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Grr, my stupid weak nails keep breaking! And breaking too low. WTH??
Trying to keep my right pinky nail from coming completely off right now b/c it broke down super low. Just one day.. felt a bruise like pain coming from the finger and noticed the break. It just needs to grow out a little more then I'll clip it.
Sigh.. so much for having nice pretty long strong nails.
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Ezra still isn't crying but he's rolling on to his stomach all the time... and then spinning in place lol.
It's funny but also annoying b/c he hasn't figured out that he can roll back to his back so he gets upset during the night and starts fussing until we go in to his room and roll him back over lol. Lazy child!
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And yep... nothing much has really happened this week. Just dealing with sick kids and trying not to get sick myself.
I did manage to clean the carpets on Monday... but you sure as heck wouldn't be able to tell I did any cleaning with how messy it already is. I don't know how they do it. lol

It's 4am

And I'm in the living room and Zoe is on the couch sleeping.
Why? B/c she crawled in to bed with us... and threw up all over my back. Lol.. poor girl.
She was sick this morning too.
Thought she had gotten over it but I guess whatever caused earlier is still in her system.
I need to clean the carpets. I know these nasty dirty ass carpets aren't helping matters. Kids playing all over the spots that the dog has messed on. We spray the spots and clean up as best we can, but I still need to get the carpet cleaner out later.

So yeah..... fun times....

Mother's day was like any other here. I didn't have to cook which was a plus lol.
We went to inlaws for dinner. They did a shrimp boil which was really good.
Ate too many carbs today, but meh.. I'm not going to worry about it.
An extra cheat isn't going to derail me from losing weight :D

Didn't get anything though. I'm not one to expect flowers or anything expensive or some shit, but it would've been nice if DH actually tried to get the kids to make me something... or get a card for them to scribble in for me. Oh well... not a big deal and have lots more mother's days to get some homemade goodies from the kids :)

Uuuugh.... I'm already feeling like a zombie. Today is going to be a struggle.
The life of mom....

My garden!

Just a quick post.....
My garden is doing... pretty well.
I wish these rogue tomato plants hadn't completely taken over my peppers, but they're doing well and I can't argue with getting more tomatoes :D

It's holding up pretty good though so far.
The weather has gotten back to being hot so I'll have to water a lot more often, especially when they get bigger.
Already picked off 2 tiny caterpillars. Not hornworm thankfully, but still little bastards that could do damage.
I can't wait to have a successful garden again!
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Zoe and Oren start their gymnastics class June 1st! WOO! DH called them last night and put them on the list. YAY :D
I'm so excited for them. I really hope they enjoy it. Would love for them to stick with it too. Not to be professional or anything, but mostly for the fitness and socialization.
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My weight this morning is officially 219.4
So yeah.... a slight loss, but I'll take it. I thought it was going to be a few pounds gained with how bloated I am.
I'm probably less than this b/c I can still feel all of that food and waste in there taking its sweet time coming out. Oh well.... 219.4... I will gladly take it :D

I still don't know what the hell I ate to cause this. Maybe it's just hormonal that is causing it. /shrugs

I made a mistake!

So.. b/c I'm PMSing.. I've become a bottomless pit. Or well... it feels like it at least.
So yesterday.. I ate... and ate... and ate some more. Welp, there is a bottom and I hit it. I hit it HARD and painfully!
I felt totally fine before dinner.
Dinner was just a fruit smoothie as we decided to do on Wednesday nights since DH and Zoe have Awana to go to.
I felt fine eating the smoothie.
5 mins after the smoothie and I am doubled over in painful stomach cramps.
It's like everything I had eaten was still in my stomach and the smoothie came in and just congealed it on in to a giant ball of suck.
Holy crap the pain.
I'm still in pain today too. Not cramping thankfully, but my stomach hurts to press down on and I'm pretty sure I can feel where this giant turd is currently at in my intestines b/c I will sometimes get a wave of pain from specific spots.
I dunno WTF happened with all of this.. but it was a huge mistake to give in to my pms hormonal need for feed.

I didn't learn anything though b/c here I sit... eating eating eating some more today.
I just can't help it. Even though my stomach still hurts.. I'm HUNGRY.
I did down a glass of water w/ miralax in it so I'm hoping it helps to get all of this out of me. I would take an actual laxative if we had some.
Wish we had prunes b/c I'd eat some of those too.

Do not expect my weigh in tomorrow to be good, but we'll see I guess. Sigh. I just want to poop.
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Just got word from DH that we finally got an email back from gymnastics and they're going to have an opening in the time slot we wanted in June. Geeze. Well.. better late than never I guess.
Just have to make sure the time for Oren is still open and then confirm that we want the spot :D
I already ordered her 2 leotards and 2 shorts to go with them. Will be getting those soon.
So excited for her to start.
Yesterday she got on the floor and.. I didn't know WTH she was doing, but she just had this sheepish smile on her face as she kind of tried to do a split and she said she was "doing gymnastics" lol. Awwwwww
She's so excited to start and I can't wait until she does :D