Post before bed....

Dh just got the biggest smile from Ezra just a min ago. Awwwww
Ez is supposed to be going to sleep, so we're not supposed to be stimulating him, but that was worth it to see. So cute :)

Can't believe dh is going back to work next week... 😢.
I'm going to be the walking dead mom for a while until I adjust. Gosh I hope that happens quick.

Feel so bad when Oren tries to love on his brother. He just wants to give Ez hugs and stuff, but doesn't realize he can't lay on him or lean on him or anything so we have to tell him to stop. Of course we try to say it as gentle as possible, but it makes us feel so bad bc he's not meaning to be potentially harmful.

Oren is such a little cutie. Dh had the radio going while he was putting up curtain rods in the nursery. Of course Oren and Zoe were both in there too. Both of them were dancing and Oren was actually trying to sing along lol. First time for that and holy crap was it adorable lol. Tried getting video of it, but he stopped when he saw dh pointing his phone at him lol.
He's sung before... At least we think he has, but not sung along while a song is going.

Zoe has started her church thing again. Not sure what it's actually called. She was a puggle last year and this year will be a cubby. She got to bring home their little mascot teddy bear last week. She dragged that thing around everywhere and just loves dressing it up.
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Took some Percocet a little while ago. We went shopping today. Just a quick trip to Lowe's for something for the curtain rods and I wanted to see if they had seeds still (they did..woo!!)
We weren't there for long and I had been feeling pretty ok up until,that point. It was still too much for my body though bc I started aching like crazy after. Ibuprofin just didn't do anything for it so in comes the other stuff. Sigh.....
I have 2 more pills left. After that... Gotta hope Tylenol will do,the trick. Hoping I won't need anything though. Just want to feel better already.
I will say this though... The Percocet is awesome for mynipple pain. It almost gets rid of it entirely. Pumping right now and I'm feeling almost no pain. That's amazing considering the raw state that they're in.
Wish there was something better than lanolin to use on them.

Pumping is going... Meh. Staying about the same for the most part. I just have to stay vigilant with the loose schedule.
We need to find bottles for milk storage. We'll be heading to target tomorrow. I don't think im producing enough to freeze anything, so we need more bottles for regular storage. Of course medela doesn't sell just their caps though. Oh no... You gotta buy their box of bottles and baggiea and all the other crap to get the caps. So Damn annoying. I just want the caps!! This wouldn't be a problem though if sil had bothered giving us back everything we gave to her.
Now I realize just how much I did slack,off with pumping for Oren. Only had 5 caps with him and it was almost never a problem. Oh well...

Hmm,there was,more I wanted to mention, but exhaustion and druggy brain,are kicking in lol.
So I'll end the post with more photos!! Yay!!

Damnit

Not sure what I did yesterday, but apparently it was too much bc I'm in pain today that ibuprofen alone wasn't touching.
Ended up taking one Percocet earlier and just took 2 a few minutes ago bc the pain in my right ovary area was just feeling bad.
Dh only has one more week off. I NEED to get better this week bc it's only going to be me. Need to be able to pick Oren up when he needs a change and get him in and out of his crib.
I would pick csection over and over again, but Damn does recovery suck major balls.
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Zoe is so darn cute.
She calls Ezra her baby. Not baby brother... But HER baby lol. She wants to be around him and look at him all the time.
She's such a sweet child. Oh, she has her bratty moments..... A lot of them actually lol, but she's a good girl :)

She's getting so darn big. Been taking photos of the kids and my gosh, she looks so grown in the pics.
Can't bel8eve she's gonna be starting school next year. Have no idea what we're supposed to do for all of that. Need to look in to it.
I just know that I'm gonna be taking her and picking her up. That's gonna be rough since I have to drag along the other 2, but I just don't trust buses and I definitely don't trust her to get off on the right stop lol.
I'm just paranoid really. Too many psychos out there and I wanna make sure she gets to where she needs to be safely.

Oren wants to be around the baby a lot too. Maybe not as much as zoe though lol.
Gosh.... Just feeling so lucky to have my munchkins. Love my loud little rugrats so Damn much.
Even when they're driving me crazy with their whining and crying hehe.
I knew what love was when I fell for dh, but loving your kids is just on a whole other level. There is just nothing like it and it's amazing.
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Ok, enough sappy stuff lol... Want to work on a small crochet project. My hands are feeling a little better now that swelling isn't as bad. Still not 100percent, but good enough for me to be able to crochet some :)

Woot!! Uploading from phone actually didn't take that long. Will have to take more photos and post more :)

Dont fail me now!

Pumping has been going pretty ok. Have had 2 lower amount days, but still overall getting a decent amount.

Haven't been taking fenugreek on,the regular. I'm good,for 2 days then,just end up forgetting.
Going to try to be better at remembering to take it though.

My nipples are so raw and sore. It's so gross. My nips are normally really dark, but,the putter layer of skin has rubbed off so,now they're this pink color in those raw areas. I,know... Tmi, but it's all part of the process.
Boobs thankfully haven't been too sore. They'll get a little sore at night when I haven't pumped for a while, but it's really not bad at all.
Let down,hurts though. Don't remember it,feeling this way. Its just an intense burning/tingling sensation.
Oh nipples,also hurt after pumping when the swelling starts to,go,down. That sucks.

Bleeding has turned to,mostly brown discharge. Can't wait to stop bleeding already. 9 months of no,period spoils you lol.
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Ezra has,been waking twice a night. Nooooooo, we had it so,good before. 😢
He wakes,around 1 or 2...,then again at 5. Sigh.....
Thankfully dh has been getting up with him,the 2nd,time, but once he starts back at work... Its probably gonna be all me. That and taking care of 2 youngins? Uuuuuuugh

I'm going to be in screaming toddler hell for a while until I adjust to it.
Dh wants to get off of sodas.... Yeah, that's not gonna happen for a while.
Momma is gonna need her caffeine.

And yadda yadda... Just making the most out of the time dh has off. Only one more week though.
Just hope I'm feeling a bit better by then. Walking too much along with the few times I've picked Oren up have reignited some pain. It's still not too bad, but bad enough that I still have to be careful how I move.

I need to pump!!

It's almost 8am and I really need to pump. Letting dh sleep in some though since Ez woke up a lot last night/this morning and dh took care of him. Ez usually only wakes once and I take care of him while I pump so dh can sleep....then dh lets me sleep in.
Anywho, it's been a while since I pumped and these boobies need to be drained asap.
Waiting until 8 to do it and then I gotta.
Kids are gonna end up following which is why I'm waiting a little bit longer.
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I Stink post partum apparently.
Thankfully I'm not a giant sweaty mess, but the moments when I do sweat... Yuck!!
We had to get Oren some diapers ywsterday, it's still hot out so I sweat a little. Holy crap the funk. My bra smelled like someone dipped it in vinegar....bleh and wtf.
And it's not like I'm not bathing. Its just that my sweat is super funky.
So gross.

My face is also breaking out again. It actually started before Ez was born. So much for that glow.

Pain still there. Especially after walking around too long. Was hurting yesterday after the store trips. Itsnot too bad though.

My ab muscles seem to be working a bit better. Still having some constipation, but pooping is easier now that my muscles are actually working some.
Again... You don't realize how much you use them until you can't.
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Anywho... It's pumping time.

Oh, you fickle boobs...

Yesterday was a meh day for pumping. Not a bad amount, but less than what it should've been.
Oh well. Making up for it today. My boobs are so touchy with pumping. I have one bad day of pumping inconsistently and it screws up my supply.
If you couldn't tell, I'm a bit obsessed with pumping and keeping track of the amount.
I just really like seeing the progress.
Plus it's helping to keep me on a semi regular schedule.
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Sil and her fam left today. They came over for a little bit before leaving.
So sad. They're planning on eventually moving down here, but not sure when that's going to happen.
Can't wait for them to move back. I know sil is homesick and would love for her DD to grow up around her cousins and vice versa.
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If you haven't seen it, would recommend watching the show limitless. It's on instant on Netflix. It's a bit episodic, but it's a fun show :)

A little better

I'm managing to pump a little more each day. Got 550ml today and I really didn't pump enough but still got 43 more than I did yesterday. Happy about that.
I know it won't be enough when he's older, but for now, it's plenty :)
Nipples are still so sore and bleeding a little around the bottom part and areola that gets sucked in to the flange. Always makes my whole body cringe the first few seconds when I start pumping bc it's so sensitive and hurts.

Incision area is sore, but getting better. Kind of walked a bit too much today so it's more sore, but it's good for healing to get up and move around within reason.
I wasn't doing laps or anything lol, we just went to a couple of stores. Needed more nursing pads and other misc items.
Felt good getting out of the house even though it's hot as he'll outside.

Thankfully I'm not hot as he'll indoors any longer. It's so Damn nice not being a giant sweaty mess any longer. I'm actually getting a little cold every now and then at night and snuggle under my blanket that I haven't used in months lol.
Woooooo for not being hot and miserable!!

Bleeding has really let up. I still get small gushes every once in a while, especially after I've pumped and I'm washing everything, but that's about it. I could probably get away with just wearing panty liners. I used up my last diaper yesterday and started using pads today.
I'm sure it will drag out though like it did after Oren.

Weight and bloating seem to be going down slowly. Weighed myself today. Scale was messing up, but think the last 2 weights it showed were correct at 224. That's the heaviest I've been outside of pregnancy in a while. Hoping the scale will go down more, but I'm not going to worry about it too much just yet.
I know some of the weight is bc I am still bloated and swelling some.
But getting healthier and thinner will eventually be my goal. I want to be here a long time for my family.
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The kids are doing well.
Zoe spent the weekend with the in-laws. They went to the mountains for the weekend and since they came back late last night, decided to keep her an extra night.
It always seems like she comes back bigger when she's gone for more than a night. Can't believe she's going to be in school next year. Also need to call around to the local martial arts places to see bout getting her in one of those classes.
I think she'll really enjoy doing that. Plus I just want her to be able to defend herself,if she ever needed to.
Unfortunately it seems like our world just keeps getting more and more fucked up and I want to make sure she (and the boys when too) can take care of herself.

Oren was a giant crying mess this weekend. Holy tantrum hell. He is soooooo much more dramatic than Zoe ever was. Meltdowns over absolutely nothing all weekend long.
He's still my sweet little guy though. He wants to hug his baby brother every chance he gets. It's sweet, but his hugs are him resting his head against you... His giant heavy head. Too heavy for a little newborn lol.
He's also,fascinated by Ezra's eyes for some reason. We have to always keep him from poking Ez in the eyeball. But it's been a good way to,teach him the name of all the face parts hehe.
Can't wait to snuggle with him more again.

Ezra is doing...,meh. He fights sleep like a toddler and it's so frustrating lol. I think it might be gas though. That and the fact that he keeps spitting out his pacifier and then getting upset bc he doesn't have it any longer. It's so nice when,they get to that stage where they can put the paci back in to their mouth lol.
He's also getting some pimples on his face. Hoping it's not eczema already and just normal,newborn acne.
I'm sure we'll be dealing with another bumpy eczema child though.
So sorry kiddos.... Both of your parents have it to some extent... You were screwed from the start.
And I swear I got some quick on purpose smiles today from him. He's staying awake just a little more and I was talking to him and got a quick big open mouth gummy smile.
Well... It might've been gas or something, but I'll just say it was on purpose.

Nooo...ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

So pumping has been going fine. Thought I got away from the extremely sore nipples since I didn't really try to bf Ezra.
Nope!! It just took longer to get to the sore nips.... 😢
I'm pumping on the low setting that it starts off and it's still killing my nips. It gets ok in the middle, but by the end, they're on stabby fire!

I'm getting decent amounts of milk though. Nowhere near the 700-1000 that this paper says I should be getting, but oh well. What I'm making is plenty for now... Yay :)
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Feeling a little less sore. Haven't needed a Percocet in 2 days. The ibuprofen has been enough to help with the pain.... And I could sleep actually laying down last night... Woooo
I've been sleeping sitting up since getting home and using a neck pillow. Whenever I tried laying down... I couldn't get back up on my own without pulling something down there that sent sharp pain through the area and laying on my side caused my right side to ache really bad.
Since that pain has settled some, I tried sleeping flat last night on my side and felt mostly fine and could get up by myself too.

Just need to continue to go slow and not do anything to make the pain come back. I hate not being able to pick Oren up though. I have pull him on to the couch or lift him just slightly, but that is it.

You really don't know how much you use your and until you can't use them.