Saturday, May 31, 2014

Resisting

Really trying to keep from using all of my wondfos. I don't have that many left. 20 is a lot but not when you're using them up like there's no tomorrow. lol

Thankfully I have no desire to use another expensive test though. Well no, there's some there, but not enough that I will.
Keeping the boxes of tests on my desk helps. Having them in the bathroom just gets too tempting. (can't remember if I already said that before).

Still feeling wet down there. Makes me keep checking to see if I've started spotting.
Feeling bloated, but pretty sure that is just from the pizza we had last night and for leftovers. It's been making us all super gassy.
Bewbs have actually become tender again. It's not as bad I don't think and feels more deep check tissue than actual breasts. Hard to tell when it's just me pressing on them lol.
____

OH and do people just not read?
I've been googling, trying to hold on to some hope that I'm not out.
Looking for people that lost ALL symptoms at 9 or so dpo. (this was earlier this morning)

Looks like a lot of women want the same information too, and what kind of replies do they get?
Something along the lines of
"Oh I lost all of my symptoms too... except for *insert a few symptoms here*"
Uh then you didn't lose all of your symptoms like the OP asked about now did ya??


Prime example here...
I just googled up BFP no symptoms..
On one of the links, this was an answer given....

 I just got my bfp yesterday and I didn't have any symptoms. I just missed a period. I am having random af cramps and have been have them since last week. Good luck to you!

Really....... really......

I'm not knocking these people for wanting to be supportive, buuuut... yeah... having AF type of cramps for a week before your BFP... that was a symptom lady.

There was another one on there that went something like

"I didn't have any symptoms before my BFP except increased sense of smell."

Sigh...........


I'm sorry for being so bitchy. (hey maybe that's a symptom ;) ) I just had to sit here listening to Zoe scream her head off once again b/c she was put down for a nap. Just frazzles your nerves.

Oh FB...how you annoy me

Or more like the people on FB.

Have a cousin that is a backyard breeder. While not as bad as ones that don't give a crap about the pets they breed, they're still not doing it to better the breed in any way. They do it purely for the profit.
And this same cousin also makes children dresses and CONSTANTLY posts every single one of them. I get it, you want to sell your stuff and that's fine... but how about you make a separate account and post it all there. Or ya know, put it on etsy or ebay like a normal person does instead of spamming everyone with your shit?

Then, SIL is such a frickin FB attention whore. She is not even a year younger than me and acts like a damn teenager on FB.

Posting those stupid phishing for sympathy/attention comments that are vague in hopes of getting people to ask her what's wrong, what happened, etc etc.
THEN she even changed her profile photo to plain black. That's it. B/c ya know, she's just so deep and depressed (no she's not) and blahblah horse crap.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUGH I just can't stand that crap. If you have something to say, JUST SAY IT.
If someone is pissing you off, PM them or if you want to make it public, then call them out for it. Don't do that vague BS!

Just so F-ing annoying.

BFN 9dpo

No point in posting photos. It's BFN.
Still have some line eye going on but it's def just a BFN.

9dpo today which means if it's like my other cycles, AF will make a full force arrival on Sunday. May start spotting today or tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm not feeling very hopeful unfortunately.
My right O aches have disappeared which makes me believe the corpus luteum cyst has gone.
Bewbs aren't as painful either.
Just feeling out.

I know 9dpo is early, but with only a 10 day LP... something NEEDS to happen early for there to be any chance.

Maybe there's an eggbert in there getting comfortable. Gosh I hope so.
Looking st the BFP chart with Z.... I had a temp dip at 5dpo, got a BFP 3 days after that.
I still totally believe that the vibrations from that concert helped the egg move down faster lol.

Anywho.... we'll see what happens I guess.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Wow...

Do any of you read Scary Mommy Confessions?
Love it!
But DAMN... there are a lot of very unhappy women out there. Makes you really appreciate how good your life is even when it's bad.

So many cheating women, women that want to leave, women that hate their kids, women that regret ever having kids.

Geeeeeeeeze

I don't really care for those posts.... I just like reading the weird habits ones mostly heh. Makes me feel normal since a lot of people do what I do.

What has 2 thumbs and is totally pathetic with no willpower??

This girl right here.

I..... used my last FRER w/ 2MU. Sigh....... Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe me when it comes to my willpower.

I'd like to scream out that it showed a BFP! BUt nope...
My line eyes still see something but they always do no matter what.

So I went out and bought another pack of 3 FRER and a pack of 2 Answer brand.
Hoping the Answer ones are better now and don't have those HUGE ass indents they did before.

But yeah, NO MORE EXPENSIVE TESTS!!! At least not until tomorrow morning ;) lol

I dunno... thinking about it, my heart sinks and I think AF will be showing, or worse yet, that I didn't even ovulate.
I know 8dpo is still so early, but with a short LP.. things have to happen early or else there's no chance :\
Just have to hope that there's an eggbert in there getting comfy and will make its presence known within another day or so.
____

Went down memory lane and looked up the cycle when we conceived Z.
I was so sure I was out and that the first wondfo was faulty on 8dpo. Sigh.
The good ole days :P heh
That really was a total shocker seeing that faint pink line on the FRER. I had so hoped this morning would be a repeat of that.

Looking at the symptoms I posted... looks like I was having a... meh.. decent amount? Nothing major though. Looked like aching in the uterus area and some aches on the O areas were the main ones.

Come on body... don't let me down!

Here comes the crazy train

Took 3 hpts this morning.
2 wondfos and a FRER.
I'm going to say BFN, BUT I do see some really faint shadowy lines on the wondfos (which is why I took 2).
First wondfo there was a shadowy something on it

Non-tweaked photo. I know it's hard to see so if you don't see anything that's fine b/c I barely do heh.

Also used an FRER b/c apparently I just love peeing all over money :P
Top photo is not tweaked and taken in kitchen, bottom is tweaked w/ contrast and was taken in computer room.

I have total line eye w/ the first photo and looking at the test I sometimes have line eye and sometimes nada. So I'm going to vote BFN.

Here's the 2nd wondfo I took after seeing the shadowy something on the first one.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

It's a damn miracle I tells ya!

Put Z down for a 2nd nap. She cried for less than a minute and now she's playing in her crib. Probably playing in the old clothes bin next to her crib but I don't care. Peace and quiet for just a little bit!!

So glad I stuck to my guns and don't give in to her tantrums.
I know the tantrums will return again, but hopefully will be few and far between.
Haven't been exercising this week b/c listening to her scream like that just drains me. Ya know, motherhood in general isn't that hard per se, but moments like that, those frustrating, helpless feeling moments just completely drain you physically and emotionally.

I've been SO irritable and those tantrums were not helping either of us out.
Girl can definitely scream though. YEESH.
____

Holy crap I need to get video of Zoe's dance moves. They are HILARIOUS and adorable.
She does this thing where her arm is bent and she lifts her elbow in to the air and kind of shrugs that side. I swear it looks like she can't really control it so just goes with it. It's too damn funny and cracks me up every time. She has fun with it though and that's all that matters :)
My crazy little dancer... and singer for that matter.
She absolutely adores music. Every kind of music that comes on, she's dancing and trying to sing along with it.
Wouldn't mind getting her dance lessons along w/ the martial arts. She'd kick butt gracefully heh.
____

Ok time for me to obsess some more.

Been feeling some quick dull aches in the uterus area. Only just started maybe an hour or so ago. They're very very dull and come and go.

Feeling wet down below, but haven't actually noticed increased cm like on tp when I use the bathroom. Weird.
I've felt actual small gushy feelings and keep thinking I'm going to see blood whenever I go to the bathroom.

Took the FRER out of the case finally and, no visible indent. There IS something there but it is super duper faint and pretty positive it's not positive. Must just be seeing a darker (or maybe lighter) than normal antibody strip.

Took an OPK and another wondfo hpt earlier this afternoon and negative on both of them. Wasn't expecting much but I tested again anyway b/c I'm pathetic :P