2m appointment

Forgot that Ez had his 2m appointment on Wednesday or Tuesday... I can't remember lol.
I took him by myself while DH stayed home.
Talk about awkward! lol
It went well though. He's gaining and growing but not on the curve of his birth weight. His ped said that his curve could be evening out to a more 'normal' one or something like that. He's 11lbs something and 22in long. I'm guessing that's pretty normal for a 2m old.

He got 3 vaccinations. One orally and the other 2 were shots. He really didn't cry. Kind of acted like he was going to then didn't. He cried more when his ped was looking him over lol.
But yeah... he's good :)
Think we're going to start feeding him more though. Sometimes 80mL is enough, but he seems to want more more often now so I think it's time to increase it to 100+. He seems to be happy with that amount most of the time. He'll sometimes whine after like he wants more, but when we've given him around 120, he'll usually spit up. So yeah.. I think 100 is a good amount at this time.

My milk supply should be able to keep up with that... for now. It seems to have FINALLY gotten back up to close to where it was at. Not quite there since I've dropped down to 6 pumps a day instead of 7. Not sure how that happened.. it just... did.
Doesn't seem to be a problem concerning my supply though so yay :) Hoping to eventually drop down to maybe 5x a day and still get the same amount. Would be nice to have more free time in between pumps. It's not too bad now, but sometimes it can feel like I don't have enough time to do much of anything. Especially when the kids are being particularly difficult.

Zoe is definitely testing my patience this morning. She knows she's doing something she's not supposed to be doing... will look me dead in the eye and still do it. Seriously child??
I do NOT like spanking, but I will do it and have the last couple of days.
She's also lying more now. It's not that she's mistaken and not remembering things right... no... it's blatant lying.
SO dang infuriating. Just gotta keep on her though and try to get it through to her 4yo head that lying is bad :\
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Tomorrow is DH's birthday. Not doing anything special for it as far as I know. I'm sure I'll wake up with the kids so he can sleep in... but other than that.. meh.
He's not a big cake eater, but my fat ass is hoping he'll still want one! rofl
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Something that did upset me.... one of DH's cousins posted some photos she took of MiL and niece at at a pumpkin patch yesterday.
Just upset b/c niece gets to do EVERYTHING with her granny while Zoe and Oren get left behind. Oren I'm not too worried about right now since he's still little and won't remember anything, but Zoe... Zoe will remember now and understands when she's being left out.
Zoe maybe gets weekend time with her granny and it's usually with niece there too so her attention is usually just on niece. And when that happens.. Zoe usually ends up at aunt's house.
I just want Zoe with her granny.... just them sometimes. And then when Oren is older... Just him with her.
MiL babysits niece all week long. Let her ass stay home some weekends so the other grandkids can get that quality time without distraction.
I know my kids aren't going to be as close to MiL only b/c MiL does babysit niece, but I dunno... it still upsets me when it seems like niece is the one that gets to do everything with her.
I mean hell... they could've at least called to see if I wanted to bring the kids along. Yeah, I probably would've said no b/c I'm so GD tired lately, but still.. just being invited to come along would've been nice.

Told DH that we need to take the kids to a pumpkin patch this weekend. Make our own memories with them and let them pick out some pumpkins :)
We did buy them a couple from the grocery store. Just little ones that were 4 for $5 lol. I don't even know where they are o_O Hmmmm

We're going to the fair on Monday too. I THINK SiL and BiL are both off that day so I'm hoping they'll actually pay attention and take care of their own child instead of making MiL do it. But that may be asking too much of them.
Take for instance when we go out to dinner on Fridays. Niece announces that she has to go to the bathroom.... stupid ass BiL "Oh, granny will take you." Dude... WTF?? Get your nasty greasy ass up and take your daughter to the F-ing bathroom!!!!
UGH....
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Zoe getting on my nerves... example..
This just happened...
She's playing with Oren. Gets annoyed with him and swipes all of the toys off the table they're playing on. I tell her to pick all of the toys up so she gets up, sits on the floor.. and does nothing. Sigh.....
Can't wait until Oren is a little older and can start picking up after himself.... or just ignoring me... :\

They're all superheroes

Really shitty superheroes. Or well.. I should say super human instead.
Oren and Zoe both have the uncanny ability to totally ignore their baby brother... right up until the time he FINALLY falls asleep, then they want to hug and kiss all over him.

-_-

Sigh... I'm so exhausted.
Ezra is still fighting sleep and it's SO damn frustrating.
He was doing pretty well when he wakes at night. He'll wake just enough to eat and then goes back to sleep.
But lately he's been thinking it's time to get all smiley and cute and keeps me awake.
UUUUUUUUGH...
I don't like doing it b/c it's so dangerous, but I finally got fed up and laid him down in the bed with me in the crook of my arm. It wasn't good sleep by any means b/c my instinct wakes me up with every noise and movement he makes.
I did it again this morning too, but this time it was just for another hour.
I'm seriously falling asleep all throughout the day.

UGH, just feeling overwhelmed and exhausted right now. I just need sleep and need to be able to do at least one thing without Ez freaking the  F out when I get up to do anything.
The house is a damn mess again too which is driving me crazy.

So yeah... I have not been a good mommy this week. Really short fuse. Doesn't help that Zoe has been throwing some serious attitude lately too which ooooo.. ticks me off lol. 4yo is too you for this kind of tude! :P lol

Anyway.... Ez is finally asleep again after being woken up.... going to TRY to make some damn muffins.

Patient 0

Apparently Oren was patient zero b/c everyone else got sick with a stomach bug too lol. I shouldn't LOL, but I will b/c GOOD :P
It's always someone else getting my kids sick.. so it's about time they give it. MUAHAHAHAHA
;)
Seriously though... I think DH is the only one that came out fine from it all. Him and Ez.
That's just how stomach bugs are though. Super contagious and ya just gotta hope it passes quick.

Went to niece's birthday party on Sunday after the storm passed. It was actually a really nice day. Nice and cool. A bit breezy, but bright and sunny.
Kids had a blast.

I'm still ticked that no one ever bothers to wrap presents for our kids. Unless we get a bag for a present.. we ALWAYS wrap the present. That's half the fun when you're a kid. Seeing that present all wrapped up. Wondering what it is.. and then finally getting to tear it open.
My kids rarely get that joy from others b/c they don't ever frickin wrap the presents they give.
I know I sound ungrateful and I'm really not. I'm glad they get anything at all, but would it kill their relatives to spend like 5 minutes to wrap some shit up?? Or put more thought in to the gifts they give?
Case in point.... Zoe got this big Yoda thing that moves from SiL (and no it wasn't wrapped unless you count the walmart plastic bag she brought it in). Now it's pretty cool, but Zoe really isn't in to Star Wars. Not like she was before.
SiL would've known this if she had ever bothered to ask us what Zoe likes, but no.... she didn't (and never has bothered asking for any birthday or Christmas).
But I've made sure to always ask her what she'd like us to get for her girl.
It's just little things, but it's those little things that add up and just annoy the shit out of you.

SIGH!

DH has been an ass lately too. I know the kids can be draining and get on your last nerve when they won't stop whining, but he lets it get to him way too much and too often.
Dude... I deal with the kids all week long, all day long. I know how annoying they can be and yes, I've lost my shit a few times, but stop being an asshole and suck it up.
I know he was pissed off at me too for some reason b/c I got the good ole silent treatment for most of the weekend. Like dude.. seriously. WTF do you expect me to do? I try my best with our kids but they're kids and a newborn. They're not going to always listen and yeah, they're gonna be hella loud A LOT of the times.
Just ugh... he's been frustrating me lately b/c it feels like he's blaming me when the kids start up. I'm momming as best as I can and him getting pissed at me only makes me feel pissed and feel like a piece of shit.
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In other news.. it's nice and cool outside! There was absolutely no transition from hot to cool. It was hot one week and then BAM, nice and cool.
Was hoping I'd have some time to grow a few more tomatoes, but doesn't look like it. Oh well.
Maybe next year we'll actually get more than 3 tomatoes we can eat. Sigh....
But.... the AC has been turned off and the windows have been opened. Cue the paranoia! lol
I always get so paranoid that someone is going to break in. It's even worse now that I'm up in the middle of the night pumping so I have to come out in to the dark living room and kitchen. Just scared that one day I'm going to see someone standing there.
I dunno why someone would target our house though. It's just the back windows open and we have one of those little signs out front advertising that we have a security system.
There are also much nicer houses closer to the exit of our neighborhood so hopefully we'll never be a target lol.
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My milk supply seems to be staying steady at 550ish mL. Sigh.....
I did get 607 on Sunday even though I only pumped 5 times though. So maybe that means my supply wants to go back up a bit more.
It's been ok though. Going through the milk we have a bit faster, but it's still more than enough for now.
Ez is still eating around 80-120mL each time. Lately it's been 80-100 b/c he's been spitting up a little more than normal.
He's been good though. SUPER clingy and staying up longer.
He's also been wanting to stay up when I feed him in the middle of the night.
It's adorable looking down at him and seeing that cute little gummy smile, but little dude... go to sleep! lol
I didn't get back to sleep until 4:30 last night b/c he wanted to stay up and party! Then DH got up and I had to poop and only got in a broken hour of sleep before finally getting up. I'm glad to have gotten that, but still would've been nice to have gotten more. Sigh... sleep... how I miss you.
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And yeah.... nothing much else going on here. Just doing the daily grind and trying not to go crazy from the whining..... So.... Much..... Whining....

We're good

Hurricane Matthew is currently hitting our coast. We're good inland though. Lots of rain and windy here, but we're not in a flood prone zone or anything. Also no powerlines or huge trees in most of the neighborhood so don't have to worry about that really either.
Power has flickered twice so far, but that's been it. I'm sure it will happen again or actually go out.
So far so good though. We're hunkering down today while this passes. Feel bad for anyone that has to go to work in this mess.
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In other news... Ez threw up a ton last night while we were all asleep. Woke up bc I heard him coughing from it. Got up to check him and he was soaked. Well, his swaddle was soaked. Thankfully I caught it quick enough that it hadn't had time to soak through to his clothes.
Think we just over fed him though. He doesn't look to be sick.
That must've been an impressive vomit though. An impressive projectile vomit based on where he was wet lol.
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And yep. Not much going on here. Can't share too much since I don't leave the house anymore rofl.

Bleh!! So much poop juice!

So this stomach bug just needs to pass already. No throwing up, but I think I'd prefer puke to poop.
This morning and yesterday morning, I've walked in Oren's room to a poop stench b/c he leaked all over the place. Today's was worse than yesterdays. Just gross.
His poops are so watery and gross and his poor butt is going to be so sore b/c of all the wiping.
I've already changed his diaper a half dozen times this morning and it's not even 11am yet.
Zoe is also having some gross poop but at least she goes in the toilet lol.

The living room smells like poo and I'm not sure if the smell is just stuck in my nose or if there's secret poo somewhere. Sigh.....

Need to remember to give them both some yogurt or something to see if it helps.
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So... we need to prepare for potential bad weather this weekend. We're gonna be hit by the hurricane, but just don't know how bad yet. I think where I am, it will probably only be just heavy rain, but ya never know. The hurricane could shift and we could get hit harder. We'll see what happens.
DH was supposed to be going to Atlanta on Friday for work, but that was cancelled.
They're starting to do some evacuations from the coast so the roads are going to be packed. I'm glad he's not going to be on the road with all of this happening.
But yeah... where I am, we shouldn't be getting hit too bad, but on the coast.. they could be. We'll see what happens. Just hope everyone stays safe and takes this seriously.
Already idiots on FB posting on the news about how this is no big deal, and how everyone is overreacting.
I'm sure those are the same type of idiots that think they can drive through a flooded street and end up needing to be rescued and putting rescue workers in danger.

Anyway.... we have plenty of water and food. We're always ready with supplies. Something I think everyone should be. Even if you have limited space, there's always room for some emergency supplies.
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BLEH! We're getting baby roaches in the bathroom. Think an eggsac must have hatched b/c they all showed up at the same time. So gross. Plus it's getting cooler outside so all the bugs are moving in.
Can't stand roaches.
Spiders... I'm cool with. I don't want to touch them or anything, but I'm fine if I see a spider.
But I see a roach (especially the giant flying fuckers), and I freak the F out!
"Oh hey.. there's a spider crawling on the floor just a couple inches from me. Go get those bugs spider!"
"HOLY SHIT THERE IS A ROACH ON THE WALL ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!"
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I no longer have my ugly chest mole! WOO!
Got that sucker cut off yesterday and I'm so damn happy about it :D
The doc was a bit... abrupt. She wasn't mean or anything, just not very personable. But whatever. She did her job.
I did ask about my dark armpits and unfortunately, didn't really get a lot of info on what could be done for it. Sigh.
She did write down a few lotions that could lighten them a little that can be bought OTC but that was it. Boo :(
The nurse told me to not expect a huge change or anything and they they'll still be discolored. Oh well. Going to look in to it more and try out whatever I can. Even lightening them a little bit will be worth it.
They're just SO dark and gross looking. I hate it.
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Ezra needs to get over his separation anxiety already. He's sound asleep right now. I need to get up to put on my pump stuff. How much do you wanna bet that a minute after I get up.. he's going to start crying.
UGH, it's so frustrating and heartbreaking.
I absolutely hate hate hate hearing him cry. I hate that he gets so upset, but I can't be with him 24/7. I just want him to be ok to be alone for just a little bit so I can get some stuff done with no guilt lol.
Sigh.....
Oh wait... I think he sensed that I was about to get up b/c he just woke a little. Go to sleep baby!

He's doing good though. He loves looking around and smiling at everyone. So darn cute.
He's eating between 80-120mL. We've been feeding him about 100ml now unless he's been spitting up or if we fed him not too long ago, then I'll give him 80.
He's getting bigger, but definitely doesn't look chunky. Just thought that since he was big when he was born, he'd be super chunky... nope. His legs have gotten some more chunk to them, but are still pretty chickeny. /shrugs

My milk still isn't at where it was. Think it's b/c I'm not drinking enough, but also b/c it just still hasn't come back from being sick. Annoying.
And my nipples are still super sore as hell. I dunno why the hell that happened. It's not like I was doing anything different when I was sick other than not pumping as often (for only 2 days) and being dehydrated. So why the heck are my nipples so screwed right now?
Thought I had gotten over that stage of pumping. Sigh....

Yeesh, but better

So Oren decided that waking up at 5am was a great idea. Pfft, I turned off the monitor.
He's not sick anymore and he can get his little butt back to sleep. I turned it back on every once in a while to see if he was still awake or not.
I think Dh mjust have checked on him before he left for work bc Oren was freaking the f out. Off the monitor went again. He did eventually go back to sleep and woke at 8.
I know it's mean, but I am not entertaining 5am wakeups and that is not becoming a regular thing. He better be prepared to sit his little butt in his crib until I'm ready to get up lol.
Other than that though, he was great today. Hardly any whining and he responded to 'use your words' pretty well. He didn't really say much but he did point which worked lol.
Zoe came and laid down in here this morning. Poor girl got woken up by her brother. It was so sweet. She's not a cuddler, but she got close to me and wanted to hold my hand or just touch some part of me. Awwwwww...love my girl.

Only one driving me crazy today was Ezra lol. I swear, babies have the superpower of knowing exactly when you get up, even if they're fast asleep.
Every single dang time I got up to do anything, within a minute he would be crying like he was dying.
And the poor boy cat naps most of the day. In sure a lot,of that has to do with his loud siblings, but he should be used to it by now and be able to sleep through anything. I've purposefully been keeping him out in the living room while he sleeps so he gets used to all the noise, but I dunno. Maybe I should start putting him in the bassinet where it's more quiet.
Anyway, just a bit frustrating when I'm trying to get anything done and he starts wailing. Hate hearing him cry, but just can't help it sometimes.

Things are good though. Have my dermatologist appointment tomorrow. Really hoping to get this ugly mole removed and maybe get some info on how to lighten my dark armpits. Think that's going to be too expensive to do anything about right now, but we'll see what happens.

And bonus photos while I wait to lay down to make sure Ezra is actually asleep. Also baby superpower... waiting for you to get comfy and them BAM! Start fussing lol.

Calm your tits

So today was migraine inducing.
From the moment Oren got up til about an hour before he went to bed.... It was a non-stop crying tantrum whine-fest.
Everything set him off and I mean literally everything.
He's not sick anymore and nothing that we could,see was physically wrong with him.
Just one of those days I guess.
I know dh was at his breaking point by the end and so was I for that matter.
Ignoring wasn't cutting it any longer so I told dh that I think we need to start doing time outs with Oren. When he really starts going, just put him in a corner and tell him he can leave it When he calms down.
I did it twice before bed.
He was not happy about it and kicked up a shitstorm, but seemed to kind of understand the 2nd time bc he eventually did calm down and didn't have another meltdown before bed.
Dh on the other hand needs to check his anger.
Yes, oren's behavior today was Frickin awful and frustrating as all get out, but telling me to just spank him isn't going to solve shit.
We are not against spanking, but it's got to be for a good reason and what Oren was doing was not a good reason and spanking him wasn't going to do anything other than temporarily let out our frustration on to him. Nope... That's just abuse.
I had to set Dh's attitude right on that shit. Dh is NOT abusive... Lemme just get that out there. He's a great daddy and great hubs, but he is not perfect and does not have a lot of,patience with the kids. He did today for most of the day by ignoring the whining, but did come to that breaking point finally when he said that.
Oh, I get it. I've thought to myself about spanking for this stuff, but I know it wouldn't be right to do it and feel guilty for even thinking it, but the thoughts do happen.
I don't want to make Dh feel like he's a bad parent bc he definitely isn't, but I couldn't say nothing.
Anyway... Think Dh got pissed at me and pretty much gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night. Whatever....
He knows I was right.

Anyway, so Yeah... Sitting in time outs is going to be the goal for when Oren starts up with the crying meltdowns over nothing. Going to have to remind myself constantly to try to keep calm and talk to him. Try to get him to communicate whatever he's wanting instead of crying and whining. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure there will be plenty of oppurtunities later today to test this all out lol.