So DH's grandfather has been on a quick decline after his stroke.
Well he took a turn for the worst late last week and passed away on Tuesday this week.
They buried him the same day since it was on their land and hot so they didn't want his body to start smelling or anything.
We didn't even know they were planning on burying him until we pulled up to the land and saw the coffin and everyone around it.
We just went up there to be with family and weren't even told about it. :\
But anyway.... people were prepared for his death though so thankfully everyone seems to be ok.
Honestly... I'm relieved for my MiL. She's gone through SO much abuse taking care of him after he had his stroke.
He became depressed and verbally abusive and demanding and she along with FiL were the only ones taking care of him so they were the target of all his frustrations and abuse.
I know they're both sad obviously, but I know they also have this huge burden lifted off of them finally.
The only thing I worry about is MiL's hoarding. I've told DH that he and his siblings (especially his younger sister) need to keep an eye on that b/c now that MiL can go wherever she wants and buy whatever she wants again.... her hoarding is going to get out of hand again. The only reason it stayed in check was b/c of the grandfather moving back in to the house with them.
And to make the week worse.
The day after ( yesterday... wednesday), we woke up to our cat dying :(
He had been totally fine the day before. He did poop in our bathroom which wasn't normal, but he did like peeing in there on the bath mats so we really didn't think much of it. Seemed like normal progression. Like... well.... guess we're going to have him pooping in here now too. B/c he was still acting normal and eating as usual, meowing as usual. Just totally normal.
Then we woke up and he was breathing heavy and barely moving.
I stayed home while DH took him to the vet and the vet wasn't hopeful at all when she looked him over.
They put him in an oxygen chamber to see if it would help his breathing and it didn't.
They laid out an expensive treatment plan we could try, but it was mostly just to keep him pain free b/c the vet didn't think it would work to heal him.
DH called and we both agreed that it would just be best to put him to sleep :(
I know I've said horrible shit about that cat, but it's still sad that he died and so suddenly and unexpectedly. We really thought he was going to be one of those cats that lived well in to their 20's.
He was only 13 or 14yo... which I mean.. wasn't young or anything.
You just don't think your pet will die from heart failure (what the vet thinks it was). That's something you only think about with humans... not our little furry buddies.
So yeah, this week has sucked.
It's just been a shitty month too.
Couple Saturdays ago, we saw that someone had hit our van front bumper.
That week, the only 2 places I had been was to Zoe's school and to the doc's office when she got sick, but at the doc's office where I parked, no one could have hit the bumper.
DH also took the van to church too so some asshat either at the school or at church hit our van and didn't bother staying around to own up to their mistake.
And it wasn't a little dent either that maybe someone didn't know they did. They scraped against half the bumper and actually broke a hole in it. So they hit our car with a pretty good amount of force. They definitely knew they hit our car and still decided to drive off.
We just got the van back yesterday with the bumper fixed and $500 less dollars in our pocket :\
THEN our washing machine broke like 6 weeks ago and it's STILL not repaired. Oh, we had a repair guy come in and he said he knew what was wrong and they needed to order a part.
Week goes by and we heard nothing back so DH calls and...... the repair guy never called in the order for the part.
They do.... get the part in a week later. Confirmed got the part a week in after they finally ordered it... and we've been waiting ever since for fucking SOMEONE to come fix our shit. We've called multiple times too.
Also, I finally got some new fish from the local fish store. Put them in a quarantine tank with a cycled sponge filter. Do everything right and...... they all died AND had a really bad parasite too from the damn fish place we got them from. I don't normally quarantine but damn I'm glad I did this time.
Fucking assholes man........
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Venting again! lol
I don't understand people who join a very specific diet group. Like... they had to have known at least a little about it to even search it out... and then go in and ask the most basic DUH questions.
I started OMAD. One meal a day. It's in the damn name. ONE MEAL A DAY. And that's it. Even just a quick search tells you all you need to know. You fast most of the day and have a 1 or 2 hour window to eat your meal. The meal can consist of a starter, main, dessert if you so choose. Then you fast again and eat ONE MEAL A DAY.
I can't count how many times, in this very specific group, newbies have come in asking
"So if I eat soandso in the morning and then eat a meal at night. Is that ok??"
Yeah sure, it's ok, but IT'S NOT OMAD... which is what the group is!!
And people not understand the whole NO CALORIES during the fasting period. Little bit of milk and cream and sugar in your coffee? Sure if you want, but it's going to break your fast b/c CALORIES.
Even had someone boast about sipping their bullet proof coffee during their fast. Depending on what you put in it, a BPC can have like 500 calories!
Just UGH frustrating! Like it takes 2 seconds to google information. OMAD is EASY to understand but people just gotta complicate shit or not do their own damn research and want someone to hold their hand and feed them information. LOOK UP YOUR OWN SHIT.
____
In other news.... lol
Kids are doing great!
Zoe lost her first tooth the other week. Tooth fairy gave her $11 for her first tooth. Tooth Fairy isn't giving that much for the ones after it though.
The tooth next to the lost one is also wiggling. So cute :)
She's doing well in school. Still need to work on her reading and math more though, but she's doing ok with both.
Oren is FINALLY potty trained completely. He'll still have some accidents at night, but no more during the day.
Ezra has started to want to use the potty too. Need to stop being lazy and get him in the habit of doing it more. He has actually peed in the potty too so yay :)
Signing Oren up for pre-school next school year too. Gonna be difficult only having Ezra in the house during the day with me. He's not going to know what to do all by himself.
I know Oren will love school though and hopefully it will help with his confidence and his need to run off and cry whenever he doesn't get his way.
DH and I are good. Still dieting. Going slow, but still going.
We are planning a cheat on the 26th when Avengers comes out. DH has already requested the day off. We're gonna drop Zoe off at school, go get some breakfast, drop the boys off, then swing back and get donuts, go see the movie, etc etc. Just have a big day of food we've been craving. Then get back to the diet the next day. :)
We're also wanting to take a beach trip in August before school starts. Going to be so expensive though. We don't want to go to the usual beach, BUT everywhere else is expensive if you want to be walking distance to the beach which is what we're wanting.
There is one place we're eyeballing that is on the beach though. It's gonna be hella expensive, but worth it? Hopefully? lol Still waiting to see if he gets the time off.
And yeah... just living our lives.... things are pretty good. I'm feeling a little stressed and tired, but that's normal.
I started OMAD. One meal a day. It's in the damn name. ONE MEAL A DAY. And that's it. Even just a quick search tells you all you need to know. You fast most of the day and have a 1 or 2 hour window to eat your meal. The meal can consist of a starter, main, dessert if you so choose. Then you fast again and eat ONE MEAL A DAY.
I can't count how many times, in this very specific group, newbies have come in asking
"So if I eat soandso in the morning and then eat a meal at night. Is that ok??"
Yeah sure, it's ok, but IT'S NOT OMAD... which is what the group is!!
And people not understand the whole NO CALORIES during the fasting period. Little bit of milk and cream and sugar in your coffee? Sure if you want, but it's going to break your fast b/c CALORIES.
Even had someone boast about sipping their bullet proof coffee during their fast. Depending on what you put in it, a BPC can have like 500 calories!
Just UGH frustrating! Like it takes 2 seconds to google information. OMAD is EASY to understand but people just gotta complicate shit or not do their own damn research and want someone to hold their hand and feed them information. LOOK UP YOUR OWN SHIT.
____
In other news.... lol
Kids are doing great!
Zoe lost her first tooth the other week. Tooth fairy gave her $11 for her first tooth. Tooth Fairy isn't giving that much for the ones after it though.
The tooth next to the lost one is also wiggling. So cute :)
She's doing well in school. Still need to work on her reading and math more though, but she's doing ok with both.
Oren is FINALLY potty trained completely. He'll still have some accidents at night, but no more during the day.
Ezra has started to want to use the potty too. Need to stop being lazy and get him in the habit of doing it more. He has actually peed in the potty too so yay :)
Signing Oren up for pre-school next school year too. Gonna be difficult only having Ezra in the house during the day with me. He's not going to know what to do all by himself.
I know Oren will love school though and hopefully it will help with his confidence and his need to run off and cry whenever he doesn't get his way.
DH and I are good. Still dieting. Going slow, but still going.
We are planning a cheat on the 26th when Avengers comes out. DH has already requested the day off. We're gonna drop Zoe off at school, go get some breakfast, drop the boys off, then swing back and get donuts, go see the movie, etc etc. Just have a big day of food we've been craving. Then get back to the diet the next day. :)
We're also wanting to take a beach trip in August before school starts. Going to be so expensive though. We don't want to go to the usual beach, BUT everywhere else is expensive if you want to be walking distance to the beach which is what we're wanting.
There is one place we're eyeballing that is on the beach though. It's gonna be hella expensive, but worth it? Hopefully? lol Still waiting to see if he gets the time off.
And yeah... just living our lives.... things are pretty good. I'm feeling a little stressed and tired, but that's normal.
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Don't give me excuses
Joined a forum for my neighborhood. Just to get info on what might be going on etc.
Yesterday, we finally took the kids up to the neighborhood playground. Gorgeous day and kids had fun.
Now the way it's situated, you can see some this area from the main road that goes by the neighborhood. BUT there are a lot of blind spots. Perfect for folks wanting to do not so great things there.
Listen.. if you want to go shoot up... go for it. Fuck up your life... but how about not coming in to my neighborhood and doing it where kids play!
A red car came rolling in with 2 people. Couldn't see them b/c windows were slightly tinted, but you could see their outline.
Swings around and parks right in a spot that you can't see from the main road.
They roll their windows down a little, and didn't come out of their car for 20-30mins. After that, they left.
Now tell me... am I crazy to think that they were probably doing drugs??
Am I crazy to be PISSED OFF that these people chose this area where KIDS PLAY to do that shit???
So I posted my concern on the neighborhood site and here comes "know-it-all Sally" with her 1000 and 1 excuses for the totally innocent reasons someone could park there.
Like UBER drivers (b/c ubers often travel with a passenger already in their car??) or some other stupid shit, then laughed about people just smoking weed acting like I'm just some overreacting mom.
Nah.... I don't fucking assume the worst is happening. THIS instance it was obvious something wrong was going on and not just "haha just people smoking weed".
And all I asked was for more security cameras in the area. Ya know... more security to hopefully keep people like that away. Our HOA isn't that much thankfully, BUT there are a lot of houses in the neighborhood paying in to it which equals a lot of money. Where the hell is that money going??
Just ugh... yes I'm really fucking pissed off about this. Pissed off that some stupid bitch tried to brush off my concern as "no big deal. People use the spot for whatever all the time." Nah... excuse me, but that's not good enough. I'm not naive enough to think that we could keep all bad people out, but we sure as shit could deter them if we had more security cameras up.
There are 2 in that spot. One of them is pointed towards the playground, the other? Pointed at the broken basketball court that has no hoops b/c the folks in charge don't want "gangs" to congregate and play basketball there and mess up the hoops.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
Yesterday, we finally took the kids up to the neighborhood playground. Gorgeous day and kids had fun.
Now the way it's situated, you can see some this area from the main road that goes by the neighborhood. BUT there are a lot of blind spots. Perfect for folks wanting to do not so great things there.
Listen.. if you want to go shoot up... go for it. Fuck up your life... but how about not coming in to my neighborhood and doing it where kids play!
A red car came rolling in with 2 people. Couldn't see them b/c windows were slightly tinted, but you could see their outline.
Swings around and parks right in a spot that you can't see from the main road.
They roll their windows down a little, and didn't come out of their car for 20-30mins. After that, they left.
Now tell me... am I crazy to think that they were probably doing drugs??
Am I crazy to be PISSED OFF that these people chose this area where KIDS PLAY to do that shit???
So I posted my concern on the neighborhood site and here comes "know-it-all Sally" with her 1000 and 1 excuses for the totally innocent reasons someone could park there.
Like UBER drivers (b/c ubers often travel with a passenger already in their car??) or some other stupid shit, then laughed about people just smoking weed acting like I'm just some overreacting mom.
Nah.... I don't fucking assume the worst is happening. THIS instance it was obvious something wrong was going on and not just "haha just people smoking weed".
And all I asked was for more security cameras in the area. Ya know... more security to hopefully keep people like that away. Our HOA isn't that much thankfully, BUT there are a lot of houses in the neighborhood paying in to it which equals a lot of money. Where the hell is that money going??
Just ugh... yes I'm really fucking pissed off about this. Pissed off that some stupid bitch tried to brush off my concern as "no big deal. People use the spot for whatever all the time." Nah... excuse me, but that's not good enough. I'm not naive enough to think that we could keep all bad people out, but we sure as shit could deter them if we had more security cameras up.
There are 2 in that spot. One of them is pointed towards the playground, the other? Pointed at the broken basketball court that has no hoops b/c the folks in charge don't want "gangs" to congregate and play basketball there and mess up the hoops.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
What in the ever loving hell???
Ok.. so I joined a fasting group. Lots of posts where people are keeping themselves accountable by posting undie pics of themselves.
One post though... just hell to the no.
The woman is 5 months PREGNANT and wanting to fast. Not like... a day... I'm talking about extreme fasting b/c she wants to homebirth at a healthier weight.... after FIVE c-sections!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What in the ever loving fuck???
And people who obviously have NO clue how dangerous that is are cheering her on!!! Like... NO. FUCK NO!!
I've reported the post but apparently the admins of the group have no clue either.
I also joined a women's fasting group and when a pregnant woman talked about wanting to fast, they actually encouraged her NOT to thankfully.
But the other group is apparently full of just completely clueless people.
With the risk of getting kicked out of the group, I had to speak up and tell her what she was hoping for was completely dangerous and any midwife worth her shit would NOT be encouraging her to do it.
Just..... fucking really??? Are women that fucking desperate to push a damn baby out of their vaginas that they would risk DEATH of them AND their baby for it?? How fucking stupid can you fucking be??? She had to have been told by a doctor that it was dangerous, but I'm sure google and all that fucking bullshit WOO sites told her she knew better or some shit.
Just... I can't. I fucking can't.
If something goes wrong, she's going to be dead and leave behind at least 5 children and probably killing the baby she's pregnant with all b/c of some delusional fantasy birth in her head.
One post though... just hell to the no.
The woman is 5 months PREGNANT and wanting to fast. Not like... a day... I'm talking about extreme fasting b/c she wants to homebirth at a healthier weight.... after FIVE c-sections!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What in the ever loving fuck???
And people who obviously have NO clue how dangerous that is are cheering her on!!! Like... NO. FUCK NO!!
I've reported the post but apparently the admins of the group have no clue either.
I also joined a women's fasting group and when a pregnant woman talked about wanting to fast, they actually encouraged her NOT to thankfully.
But the other group is apparently full of just completely clueless people.
With the risk of getting kicked out of the group, I had to speak up and tell her what she was hoping for was completely dangerous and any midwife worth her shit would NOT be encouraging her to do it.
Just..... fucking really??? Are women that fucking desperate to push a damn baby out of their vaginas that they would risk DEATH of them AND their baby for it?? How fucking stupid can you fucking be??? She had to have been told by a doctor that it was dangerous, but I'm sure google and all that fucking bullshit WOO sites told her she knew better or some shit.
Just... I can't. I fucking can't.
If something goes wrong, she's going to be dead and leave behind at least 5 children and probably killing the baby she's pregnant with all b/c of some delusional fantasy birth in her head.
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Diet stuff
So still dieting.
I've been kind of stuck at this weight. Around 178 give or take.
And FINALLY starting to come back down again.
The lowest I saw before was 175something and today it was 174.8 at the lowest.
So yay.
I think I'm going to try fasting though. I eat too much still and I need a healthier relationship with food. I need to get that thought oout of my head of wanting HUGE portions like I used to eat (and still eat sometimes). It's like if it's not this ginormous portion of whatever I'm eating, my brain thinks it's not going to be enough even though it is. And even if I get full, I'll still force myself to eat it b/c I think I need to. Just not a healthy food relationship and I think fasting will help. Nothing drastic or anything.
But yeah I'm still feeling pretty good for the most part.
More energy than I usually have, but at night after I eat dinner, I've been getting headaches, indigestion, and nausea. It was suggested that I probably have low stomach acid and to drink an apple cider vinegar concoction. Drank that today before eating and I hope it helps.
But.. things are going pretty good. Frustrated with my stomach still being huge, but I haven't given up.
I do plan on cheating this Saturday for Oren's birthday though. Like ALL OUT cheat and eat whatever the hell I want and then I'll try fasting Sunday and possibly monday too.
Just... anyone out there struggling with your weight.... Best advice and insight I can give right now...
Yes... dieting can be hard at times, but what's going to make you happier?? Eating some junk food that's just going to keep you fat? Or taking a year give or take to get healthier? That's it... a YEAR. How many times do we always say at the end of a year "Wow, it went by so quick!" Now say that at a healthier weight at the end of the year :) People have more willpower than they think they do. I know I have a lot more than I thought I did.
Kids are good. Attitude city up in here.
Zoe is 6 going on 16. Drama queen central. She's also in a super talkative phase and has to give me a play by play of everything lol. I know I should enjoy it while it lasts b/c preteens will hit and she won't want to talk to me at all.
She's doing great in school. Still struggles with some things, but working on it.
Oren's potty training is coming along. I think the pull ups were just too much like diapers. Putting him in just underwear seems to have done the trick. He still has accidents and we still make him use a pullup for bed, but he's getting better at using the potty on his own when he needs to go. So proud of him and he gets so proud of himself when he poops in the potty by himself.
Ezra is still Ezra. Just a 2yo giant ball of pure energy. He's definitely going to be our little athlete. He is GO GO GO almost all the time. SO much energy and SO stubborn. But also loving and caring and sweet... when he wants to be lol.
He's my pickiest eater though and it drives me up the wall. Need to break him of it. My food tastes good child! EAT IT!
And yeeeah... that's really it. Nothing exciting really going on. Just living life. :)
I've been kind of stuck at this weight. Around 178 give or take.
And FINALLY starting to come back down again.
The lowest I saw before was 175something and today it was 174.8 at the lowest.
So yay.
I think I'm going to try fasting though. I eat too much still and I need a healthier relationship with food. I need to get that thought oout of my head of wanting HUGE portions like I used to eat (and still eat sometimes). It's like if it's not this ginormous portion of whatever I'm eating, my brain thinks it's not going to be enough even though it is. And even if I get full, I'll still force myself to eat it b/c I think I need to. Just not a healthy food relationship and I think fasting will help. Nothing drastic or anything.
But yeah I'm still feeling pretty good for the most part.
More energy than I usually have, but at night after I eat dinner, I've been getting headaches, indigestion, and nausea. It was suggested that I probably have low stomach acid and to drink an apple cider vinegar concoction. Drank that today before eating and I hope it helps.
But.. things are going pretty good. Frustrated with my stomach still being huge, but I haven't given up.
I do plan on cheating this Saturday for Oren's birthday though. Like ALL OUT cheat and eat whatever the hell I want and then I'll try fasting Sunday and possibly monday too.
Just... anyone out there struggling with your weight.... Best advice and insight I can give right now...
Yes... dieting can be hard at times, but what's going to make you happier?? Eating some junk food that's just going to keep you fat? Or taking a year give or take to get healthier? That's it... a YEAR. How many times do we always say at the end of a year "Wow, it went by so quick!" Now say that at a healthier weight at the end of the year :) People have more willpower than they think they do. I know I have a lot more than I thought I did.
Kids are good. Attitude city up in here.
Zoe is 6 going on 16. Drama queen central. She's also in a super talkative phase and has to give me a play by play of everything lol. I know I should enjoy it while it lasts b/c preteens will hit and she won't want to talk to me at all.
She's doing great in school. Still struggles with some things, but working on it.
Oren's potty training is coming along. I think the pull ups were just too much like diapers. Putting him in just underwear seems to have done the trick. He still has accidents and we still make him use a pullup for bed, but he's getting better at using the potty on his own when he needs to go. So proud of him and he gets so proud of himself when he poops in the potty by himself.
Ezra is still Ezra. Just a 2yo giant ball of pure energy. He's definitely going to be our little athlete. He is GO GO GO almost all the time. SO much energy and SO stubborn. But also loving and caring and sweet... when he wants to be lol.
He's my pickiest eater though and it drives me up the wall. Need to break him of it. My food tastes good child! EAT IT!
And yeeeah... that's really it. Nothing exciting really going on. Just living life. :)
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Grief and drama queens and just me bitching
I'm going to sound like a bitch in this I'm sure.
First up..
SiL lost her baby. I think she was 18 weeks or so along. Maybe further? when she started spotting. She went in to get checked out and unfortunately baby didn't have a heartbeat :(
So so sad for them. SO frickin sad for them.
Now with that being said, it has been a little bit since it happened and SiL is just....she's just a giant attention whore. There.. I said it.
UGH that sounds terrible, but when she posts things like "Haha, smoking in my house and don't give AF!"
Like... really??? You do remember you have another child right??? That smoking in your home is going to stink up everything and expose your oldest to it... right???
Just ugh.. I can't with that. I'm so sad that they lost their little baby girl, but don't be a fucking dick while you grieve and expose your child to cig smoke. How about that.
And on to an even bigger drama queen.
One of my cousins. She's a GIANT SJW far leftist type. Nothing wrong with being leftist, but she's like FAR FAR leftist. Like the far right are horrible, so are the far left.
Yeah.. that's her.
Plus she's just annoying as shit.
She's REALLY fucking full of herself. Like... extremely full of herself.
She's a photographer and takes great photos, but also gets pissed off when Facebook takes down her nude photos. Then she starts ranting and raving about "FUCK WHOEVER IS REPORTING MY PHOTOS" then gets kind of schooled that no one gives a shit and it's probably just FB taking them down automatically b/c of whatever bot they're using. Then it's "Oh this means way Facebook! I'm going to just keep posting it! I'm going to quit if they don't allow my stuff!"
That's not even the worst of it. She vague posts all the damn time to get attention. She always posts shit like "Well my TRUE friends will XYZ and share" bullshit posts (same as SiL does too).
She's constantly trying to lose weight, then will post these like ginormous meals she just fixed herself.
And don't forget the selfies she constantly posts with the hashtags "Halfkorean! Halfasian!" in every single fucking one of them. Like... really??
I know this stuff sounds mild when I say it not, but it's constantly posted on facebook. CONSTANTLY and it gets tiring to see. I've already ignored her twice now for 30 days at a time and just ugh.
Then FiL is kind of your typical doofy ass parent that doesn't completely understand the internet but shares stuff anyway.
Constantly posts those bullshit for attention posts where it shows like some gorgeous cabin in the woods with a caption like "I bet you wouldn't live HERE for a year. Share if you would!" kind of stupid ass posts. Or will post a picture of a cute puppy with "I bet you won't share this picture!"
It's so damn cringy.
He even shared a post about how we don't support our veterans... and the photo was from the frickin movie Tropic Thunder... and no.. he didn't know it was from a movie. Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
I think I just need to ignore a lot of folks for a little bit b/c they're really annoying me lol.
First up..
SiL lost her baby. I think she was 18 weeks or so along. Maybe further? when she started spotting. She went in to get checked out and unfortunately baby didn't have a heartbeat :(
So so sad for them. SO frickin sad for them.
Now with that being said, it has been a little bit since it happened and SiL is just....she's just a giant attention whore. There.. I said it.
UGH that sounds terrible, but when she posts things like "Haha, smoking in my house and don't give AF!"
Like... really??? You do remember you have another child right??? That smoking in your home is going to stink up everything and expose your oldest to it... right???
Just ugh.. I can't with that. I'm so sad that they lost their little baby girl, but don't be a fucking dick while you grieve and expose your child to cig smoke. How about that.
And on to an even bigger drama queen.
One of my cousins. She's a GIANT SJW far leftist type. Nothing wrong with being leftist, but she's like FAR FAR leftist. Like the far right are horrible, so are the far left.
Yeah.. that's her.
Plus she's just annoying as shit.
She's REALLY fucking full of herself. Like... extremely full of herself.
She's a photographer and takes great photos, but also gets pissed off when Facebook takes down her nude photos. Then she starts ranting and raving about "FUCK WHOEVER IS REPORTING MY PHOTOS" then gets kind of schooled that no one gives a shit and it's probably just FB taking them down automatically b/c of whatever bot they're using. Then it's "Oh this means way Facebook! I'm going to just keep posting it! I'm going to quit if they don't allow my stuff!"
That's not even the worst of it. She vague posts all the damn time to get attention. She always posts shit like "Well my TRUE friends will XYZ and share" bullshit posts (same as SiL does too).
She's constantly trying to lose weight, then will post these like ginormous meals she just fixed herself.
And don't forget the selfies she constantly posts with the hashtags "Halfkorean! Halfasian!" in every single fucking one of them. Like... really??
I know this stuff sounds mild when I say it not, but it's constantly posted on facebook. CONSTANTLY and it gets tiring to see. I've already ignored her twice now for 30 days at a time and just ugh.
Then FiL is kind of your typical doofy ass parent that doesn't completely understand the internet but shares stuff anyway.
Constantly posts those bullshit for attention posts where it shows like some gorgeous cabin in the woods with a caption like "I bet you wouldn't live HERE for a year. Share if you would!" kind of stupid ass posts. Or will post a picture of a cute puppy with "I bet you won't share this picture!"
It's so damn cringy.
He even shared a post about how we don't support our veterans... and the photo was from the frickin movie Tropic Thunder... and no.. he didn't know it was from a movie. Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
I think I just need to ignore a lot of folks for a little bit b/c they're really annoying me lol.
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Boring diet stuff
Day 3? 4? I don't even know of carnivore diet. All meat and animal products (cheese, eggs, dairy etc).
Feeling pretty good, but I think I need to limit dairy even more.
Had more than usual last night with dinner and now I'm up 3lbs.
Could just be normal day to day weight fluctuation though so next time I have more than usual dairy, I'll remember to check to see if I retain water the next day or not.
I don't have a ton of dairy anyway. 1 tablespoon or cream in my coffee and that's it.
Coming from a keto but mostly eating meat diet has been easy, but I'm also craving the keto desserts I used to fix.
I'm determined to stick to carnivore for a month though. It's going to be difficult, but I set out to do it and I'm going to.
Also giving up nightshades suuuuucks, b/c it would make going carnivore so much easier if I could have some hot sauce. No, that's not strict carn, but it would help to cut through some of the fat and just add flavor. Sigh.
I am extremely frustrated with my belly though. All other people that are at this weight? Nice bodies, smaller bellies.
Me? HUGE fucking belly that will not fucking go away!!!
I understand that my lower stomach pooch is going to take a while to disappear, but damn, this is infuriatingly frustrating. Maybe when I get to the 150's??? Maybe THEN my stomach will finally start to disappear???
If I could GET to the 150's that would be great, but my weight has been going up then going down, going up then going down the same 3lbs. Just frickin LOSE ALREADY!
I know the scale doesn't tell the whole story, but damn... when you still need to lose so much, it's still frustrating as shit to see the number stall.
I have my annual exam next month and it would be great to be well in to the 170's by then. Just hope I can get there finally.
Also started exercising again and I'm going to start pushing myself a bit harder. Still easy at first, but just increasing weight a little when doing certain exercises and whatnot.
My eventual fitness goal is to be able to do a pull up and pushup. I would love to be able to do either one of those... just one. And once I can do just one of both of those, I'll aim to get up to 5 each.
That's not going to happen for a long time though. I'm REALLY weak right now and need to lose more weight and build up my puny muscles.
I'll get there though.
That's what is different this time with this weight loss journey. I have absolutely no thought of quitting in my mind anymore. Not even a little bit. Oh I'll complain about weight fluctuations, stalls, my fat not disappearing like I want lol, but I'm in this. I'm NOT giving up this time.
I wish everyone could finally get to this point in their weight loss journeys b/c damn is it such a liberating feeling.
Yes, there is still that intimidation b/c for some of us, the weight comes off slow, but not constantly worrying about falling off the wagon or constantly wanting to cheat... weight lifted.
That's not to say I don't get cravings still though. Like krispy kreme donuts. Damn.... if I had a box of them, I'd eat every single one lol.
But NOW I know I can resist. It's not always on my mind. Sure... I would love one, but I know they're not going anywhere. Maybe for a planned cheat day, I'll have them, but I'm good.
I just see so many people still struggling and honestly, I'm glad I'm not one of them anymore. I'm not struggling to stay on this diet.
I KNOW I will get to my goal. I HOPE it happens sooner rather than later of course, but I'm in this until the end. No more yo-yo dieting. No more giving up.
With all of that said though, I'm still trying to figure my body out.
Like, I know I retain water when my period shows up. I'll go up about 5lbs give or take. But that weight usually drops right back off after about 3 days.
After that though /shrugs I just haven't been paying that much attention to any pattern that could be happening lol. I probably should. That way if I do have cycles of retaining water, I'll be prepared for it instead of wondering if I'm doing something wrong with my diet.
What else...
Hoping this way of eating helps my sleep. I NEED restful sleep and I just don't get that most of the time. I toss and turn so much and don't get in to that deep restful healing sleep. Carnivore is supposed to help.
Also hoping it helps with mental clarity. I know the better sleep probably helps with that too.
Have so many ideas I want to do and get started on.
And yeah... just feeling really positive about most of this. Frustrated at my stupid stomach, but I know it will go down eventually. Just hoping it happens soon so I can stop looking like I'm pregnant already lol.
Feeling pretty good, but I think I need to limit dairy even more.
Had more than usual last night with dinner and now I'm up 3lbs.
Could just be normal day to day weight fluctuation though so next time I have more than usual dairy, I'll remember to check to see if I retain water the next day or not.
I don't have a ton of dairy anyway. 1 tablespoon or cream in my coffee and that's it.
Coming from a keto but mostly eating meat diet has been easy, but I'm also craving the keto desserts I used to fix.
I'm determined to stick to carnivore for a month though. It's going to be difficult, but I set out to do it and I'm going to.
Also giving up nightshades suuuuucks, b/c it would make going carnivore so much easier if I could have some hot sauce. No, that's not strict carn, but it would help to cut through some of the fat and just add flavor. Sigh.
I am extremely frustrated with my belly though. All other people that are at this weight? Nice bodies, smaller bellies.
Me? HUGE fucking belly that will not fucking go away!!!
I understand that my lower stomach pooch is going to take a while to disappear, but damn, this is infuriatingly frustrating. Maybe when I get to the 150's??? Maybe THEN my stomach will finally start to disappear???
If I could GET to the 150's that would be great, but my weight has been going up then going down, going up then going down the same 3lbs. Just frickin LOSE ALREADY!
I know the scale doesn't tell the whole story, but damn... when you still need to lose so much, it's still frustrating as shit to see the number stall.
I have my annual exam next month and it would be great to be well in to the 170's by then. Just hope I can get there finally.
Also started exercising again and I'm going to start pushing myself a bit harder. Still easy at first, but just increasing weight a little when doing certain exercises and whatnot.
My eventual fitness goal is to be able to do a pull up and pushup. I would love to be able to do either one of those... just one. And once I can do just one of both of those, I'll aim to get up to 5 each.
That's not going to happen for a long time though. I'm REALLY weak right now and need to lose more weight and build up my puny muscles.
I'll get there though.
That's what is different this time with this weight loss journey. I have absolutely no thought of quitting in my mind anymore. Not even a little bit. Oh I'll complain about weight fluctuations, stalls, my fat not disappearing like I want lol, but I'm in this. I'm NOT giving up this time.
I wish everyone could finally get to this point in their weight loss journeys b/c damn is it such a liberating feeling.
Yes, there is still that intimidation b/c for some of us, the weight comes off slow, but not constantly worrying about falling off the wagon or constantly wanting to cheat... weight lifted.
That's not to say I don't get cravings still though. Like krispy kreme donuts. Damn.... if I had a box of them, I'd eat every single one lol.
But NOW I know I can resist. It's not always on my mind. Sure... I would love one, but I know they're not going anywhere. Maybe for a planned cheat day, I'll have them, but I'm good.
I just see so many people still struggling and honestly, I'm glad I'm not one of them anymore. I'm not struggling to stay on this diet.
I KNOW I will get to my goal. I HOPE it happens sooner rather than later of course, but I'm in this until the end. No more yo-yo dieting. No more giving up.
With all of that said though, I'm still trying to figure my body out.
Like, I know I retain water when my period shows up. I'll go up about 5lbs give or take. But that weight usually drops right back off after about 3 days.
After that though /shrugs I just haven't been paying that much attention to any pattern that could be happening lol. I probably should. That way if I do have cycles of retaining water, I'll be prepared for it instead of wondering if I'm doing something wrong with my diet.
What else...
Hoping this way of eating helps my sleep. I NEED restful sleep and I just don't get that most of the time. I toss and turn so much and don't get in to that deep restful healing sleep. Carnivore is supposed to help.
Also hoping it helps with mental clarity. I know the better sleep probably helps with that too.
Have so many ideas I want to do and get started on.
And yeah... just feeling really positive about most of this. Frustrated at my stupid stomach, but I know it will go down eventually. Just hoping it happens soon so I can stop looking like I'm pregnant already lol.
Sunday, February 3, 2019
It's February!!
I'm sorry I don't post a lot here anymore.
There's really not much to post other than just every day life.
Lets see.. kids first..
Orens potty training is going slooooow. He's so stubborn about it and will not poop in the potty. I still have to tell him to pee in it too. He's getting better though and has started to go on his own. Just a couple of times, but it's still better than nothing. I think I'm just going to have to ditch the pull ups and go with only underwear. It's so gross when they poop in them, but I think that will get him to just use the potty.
He's good other than that though. Growing so fast.
Ezra is good too. The epitome of terrible twos though. Lord have mercy. He puts my stress level to a 10. Throws, tantrums, whines, cries, thinks he's the boss, picky as shit eater, etc.
He can be so sweet one minute and the next is a howler monkey demon from the pits of hell! lol
Zoe is good too. She's struggling a little in math in school, but bought some workbooks to help her. She gets bored very easily with it and wants to rush through everything so doesn't pay attention to the details.
Like with reading, instead of sounding out a word she doesn't know, she'll see something that looks like a word she already knows and will say that's what it is. If that makes sense.
She's super smart, just impatient.
DH and I are doing great.
Both sticking to our diets and doing well.
I'm down to 178.8 as of this morning. My weight has been fluctuating 2lbs. Up 2lbs and down 2lbs for the last month. It's frustrating as shit.
Decided to give up nightshades this month (tomatoes, peppers) b/c I'm certain I'm intolerant to them. Since those were the main veggies I was eating, decided to also try carnivore this month too.
Nothing but meat, eggs, and some dairy. Well... I'm 99% carnivore. I still drink diet soda, and I'm still using almond/cashew unsweetened milk in my morning coffee along with monk fruit sweetener.
So I'm definitely not doing it perfectly/strict, but I'm doing what is going to work for me.
I also started exercising again. Got a bad cold along with a bad period at the same time. Just completely drained me so I stopped exercising for a couple of weeks.
Just started back up and yep.. I still hate it. I don't mind doing the exercises, but it's just getting up to actually do it. I love being lazy!!
But... I don't want to be skinny fat and flabby so gotta get this going. I may never like exercising, but I know it's going to help me get healthier.
Along with losing weight, I'm just hoping going carnivore helps mental clarity. i always read about this benefit, and hoping that happens for myself. I really want to start creating/crafting more this year.
Have BIG ideas for Trunk or Treat that DH wants to participate in that I need to start right now.
DH is down about 60 or so pounds. He is VERY close to being under 200lbs now. His weight went up a little bit and has been stuck for a couple of weeks now. I know he's frustrated about it, but you gotta trust this process. Scale might be stuck, but he's exercising now and gaining muscle and I'm sure losing inches. He's not doing carnivore with me. well... not completely.
Anyway... we're both good and feeling good.
Hoping that my stomach will FINALLY start to shrink. I do still have about 55 or so pounds I want to lose and it feels like my stomach is going to be the last thing to go. I've lost 45lbs! 45!! And I've oNLY dropped 2 pant sizes. Yeah that's awesome, but damn.. there are others out there that are my same starting weight, same pounds lost or less and have dropped 4 sizes b/c their stomach disappeared.
Mine though??? NOPE!! Still there, still huge.. still making me look like I'm pregnant. Grrr
And not sure if I mentioned it... but SiL is having another girl. Aww :) Really happy to be getting another niece. Was hoping for a boy just so mine could have some boy cousins to play with but they'll be around some strong girl cousins that will give them a run for their money.
There's really not much to post other than just every day life.
Lets see.. kids first..
Orens potty training is going slooooow. He's so stubborn about it and will not poop in the potty. I still have to tell him to pee in it too. He's getting better though and has started to go on his own. Just a couple of times, but it's still better than nothing. I think I'm just going to have to ditch the pull ups and go with only underwear. It's so gross when they poop in them, but I think that will get him to just use the potty.
He's good other than that though. Growing so fast.
Ezra is good too. The epitome of terrible twos though. Lord have mercy. He puts my stress level to a 10. Throws, tantrums, whines, cries, thinks he's the boss, picky as shit eater, etc.
He can be so sweet one minute and the next is a howler monkey demon from the pits of hell! lol
Zoe is good too. She's struggling a little in math in school, but bought some workbooks to help her. She gets bored very easily with it and wants to rush through everything so doesn't pay attention to the details.
Like with reading, instead of sounding out a word she doesn't know, she'll see something that looks like a word she already knows and will say that's what it is. If that makes sense.
She's super smart, just impatient.
DH and I are doing great.
Both sticking to our diets and doing well.
I'm down to 178.8 as of this morning. My weight has been fluctuating 2lbs. Up 2lbs and down 2lbs for the last month. It's frustrating as shit.
Decided to give up nightshades this month (tomatoes, peppers) b/c I'm certain I'm intolerant to them. Since those were the main veggies I was eating, decided to also try carnivore this month too.
Nothing but meat, eggs, and some dairy. Well... I'm 99% carnivore. I still drink diet soda, and I'm still using almond/cashew unsweetened milk in my morning coffee along with monk fruit sweetener.
So I'm definitely not doing it perfectly/strict, but I'm doing what is going to work for me.
I also started exercising again. Got a bad cold along with a bad period at the same time. Just completely drained me so I stopped exercising for a couple of weeks.
Just started back up and yep.. I still hate it. I don't mind doing the exercises, but it's just getting up to actually do it. I love being lazy!!
But... I don't want to be skinny fat and flabby so gotta get this going. I may never like exercising, but I know it's going to help me get healthier.
Along with losing weight, I'm just hoping going carnivore helps mental clarity. i always read about this benefit, and hoping that happens for myself. I really want to start creating/crafting more this year.
Have BIG ideas for Trunk or Treat that DH wants to participate in that I need to start right now.
DH is down about 60 or so pounds. He is VERY close to being under 200lbs now. His weight went up a little bit and has been stuck for a couple of weeks now. I know he's frustrated about it, but you gotta trust this process. Scale might be stuck, but he's exercising now and gaining muscle and I'm sure losing inches. He's not doing carnivore with me. well... not completely.
Anyway... we're both good and feeling good.
Hoping that my stomach will FINALLY start to shrink. I do still have about 55 or so pounds I want to lose and it feels like my stomach is going to be the last thing to go. I've lost 45lbs! 45!! And I've oNLY dropped 2 pant sizes. Yeah that's awesome, but damn.. there are others out there that are my same starting weight, same pounds lost or less and have dropped 4 sizes b/c their stomach disappeared.
Mine though??? NOPE!! Still there, still huge.. still making me look like I'm pregnant. Grrr
And not sure if I mentioned it... but SiL is having another girl. Aww :) Really happy to be getting another niece. Was hoping for a boy just so mine could have some boy cousins to play with but they'll be around some strong girl cousins that will give them a run for their money.
Friday, January 4, 2019
Happy New Year!!
2019 already. I hope everyone had a good 2018.
I'm gonna kick 2019's ass.
I NEED to reduce stress... which hasn't been going great so far, but I'm getting there.
I'm going to continue to lose weight. I've been keto now for 6m and down 40lbs. Still have 60 to do!
Starting exercise. I only started yesterday, but I need to do it. I'm going to have a lot of loose skin once the weight is off. I can either just be flabby, or at least be FIT under the flab lol.
Be more creative! I know that seems kind of small in comparison, but I used to be such a creative person before and I NEED to get back to being creative again. Even if it's just something small, I need to start back up with it again. Whether if it's just a drawing or something bigger.
I'm ready to kick this years ass.
I WILL reach my goals.
I'm gonna kick 2019's ass.
I NEED to reduce stress... which hasn't been going great so far, but I'm getting there.
I'm going to continue to lose weight. I've been keto now for 6m and down 40lbs. Still have 60 to do!
Starting exercise. I only started yesterday, but I need to do it. I'm going to have a lot of loose skin once the weight is off. I can either just be flabby, or at least be FIT under the flab lol.
Be more creative! I know that seems kind of small in comparison, but I used to be such a creative person before and I NEED to get back to being creative again. Even if it's just something small, I need to start back up with it again. Whether if it's just a drawing or something bigger.
I'm ready to kick this years ass.
I WILL reach my goals.
Friday, December 14, 2018
This and that
Losing weight is such a slow damn process. It's totally understandable that so many people quit. We're all so used to instant gratification that when we don't see results ASAP, we get discouraged or don't think it's working.
I'm SO damn glad that my mentality on that has changed now.
No more of that bullshit thinking. Yes, I would still like instant gratification lol, but I know now that that's just not reality. Weight loss is normally slow and frustrating. But it does come off and with the right diet can come off relatively fast compared to how long it took to gain.
Like.. would you rather go on for the rest of your life unhappy and unhealthy? Or would you rather diet and possibly exercise for a year or 2 (depending on how much and how fast you lose) to get to your goal? 1 or 2 years isn't even that long in the grand scheme of your life. How often do we always comment that "OMG this year flew by!!" Now just imagine taking that year to diet right. Think about how proud of yourself you'll feel when you say that AND are checking out your new healthier self in the mirror.
No.. dieting isn't always easy and you might fall off the wagon, but just get right back to it. Don't think of it as starting over. Think of it as continuing on your journey.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES.
Oh I could NEVER give up soandso. Maybe not, but there is a diet out there that WILL work for you if you commit to doing it. Stop making excuses to stay fat.
Hell, even now, I still have that little voice in me. "Oh.. what harm would come if you just had a little bite?? You'd be fine if you just cheated a little. Just a little. You're already planning on cheating, go ahead and start a day before or continue an extra day. It's not going to hurt anything."
Yes... yes it will. I know myself. I know my triggers and I am finally in the right state of mind to tell that little voice to shut the hell up!
Those were all excuses I'd tell myself that would always, ALWAYS spiral me back to eating terrible again.
Not gonna happen again.
I'm at 183.6lbs this morning and gawd damnit, I'm going to be at or really damn close to my goal for my 40th birthday.
That's 40lbs lost so far and I still have 60 give or take to go. So about 10 months to lose that much weight which might be impossible for my body to do, but I'm going to give it my best shot.
I do still need to exercise though. That's going to be one of my main goals for the new year. Start exercising. I hate it so GD much, but I know it's going to help build muscle and tone which should help some with saggy loose skin that I know I'll have.
Plus I want to keep my butt which will require squats and lunges and all that good stuff. I want to be a hot momma!! I don't care if anyone else thinks it, I want to.
I'm going to start it off with really simple things like elliptical and seated weight lifting with light weights and then take it from there. I am in extremely terrible shape so I need to start it slow. I can't go in all gungho and burn myself out the first week b/c I'm too sore to move lol.
Another goal is to reduce my stress... by... A LOT. Toddlers man.... Ezra and Oren have stressed me out so damn much recently b/c they are both going through toddlerhood together. AND they're boys that do boy things and uuuuuuuugh stressful.
I need to chill the hell out. I can't continue on with how it's been going b/c the stress is going to do worse things than the fat did to my health.
And a few other agendas for the new year. It's gonna be a good year I think :)
____
Christmas shopping is all done. ALL DONE. The kids are gonna have some good presents :D
We decided at the last minute on black friday to get the kids bikes. Well.. just Oren and Zoe. She's been asking for one and Walmart had good deals on some so we bit the bullet. Oren and Ezra were with us though. Ezra is fine, but Oren still remembers and brings it up every once in a while that he has a new bike and what color it is and what color Zoe's is lol. Thankfully Zoe hasn't caught on to what he's actually saying since his speech isn't great so she think he's talking about the little tricycle things they already have lol.
Santa is bringing the family family games like Hungry Hungry Hippo, Operation and that magnetic fishing one along with just a few other toys and mommy and daddy are getting credit for everything else. MUAHAHAA lol
Anyway....
It's hard to believe that Christmas is less than 2 weeks away now. Man.. these last few months really fly by.
I'm SO damn glad that my mentality on that has changed now.
No more of that bullshit thinking. Yes, I would still like instant gratification lol, but I know now that that's just not reality. Weight loss is normally slow and frustrating. But it does come off and with the right diet can come off relatively fast compared to how long it took to gain.
Like.. would you rather go on for the rest of your life unhappy and unhealthy? Or would you rather diet and possibly exercise for a year or 2 (depending on how much and how fast you lose) to get to your goal? 1 or 2 years isn't even that long in the grand scheme of your life. How often do we always comment that "OMG this year flew by!!" Now just imagine taking that year to diet right. Think about how proud of yourself you'll feel when you say that AND are checking out your new healthier self in the mirror.
No.. dieting isn't always easy and you might fall off the wagon, but just get right back to it. Don't think of it as starting over. Think of it as continuing on your journey.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES.
Oh I could NEVER give up soandso. Maybe not, but there is a diet out there that WILL work for you if you commit to doing it. Stop making excuses to stay fat.
Hell, even now, I still have that little voice in me. "Oh.. what harm would come if you just had a little bite?? You'd be fine if you just cheated a little. Just a little. You're already planning on cheating, go ahead and start a day before or continue an extra day. It's not going to hurt anything."
Yes... yes it will. I know myself. I know my triggers and I am finally in the right state of mind to tell that little voice to shut the hell up!
Those were all excuses I'd tell myself that would always, ALWAYS spiral me back to eating terrible again.
Not gonna happen again.
I'm at 183.6lbs this morning and gawd damnit, I'm going to be at or really damn close to my goal for my 40th birthday.
That's 40lbs lost so far and I still have 60 give or take to go. So about 10 months to lose that much weight which might be impossible for my body to do, but I'm going to give it my best shot.
I do still need to exercise though. That's going to be one of my main goals for the new year. Start exercising. I hate it so GD much, but I know it's going to help build muscle and tone which should help some with saggy loose skin that I know I'll have.
Plus I want to keep my butt which will require squats and lunges and all that good stuff. I want to be a hot momma!! I don't care if anyone else thinks it, I want to.
I'm going to start it off with really simple things like elliptical and seated weight lifting with light weights and then take it from there. I am in extremely terrible shape so I need to start it slow. I can't go in all gungho and burn myself out the first week b/c I'm too sore to move lol.
Another goal is to reduce my stress... by... A LOT. Toddlers man.... Ezra and Oren have stressed me out so damn much recently b/c they are both going through toddlerhood together. AND they're boys that do boy things and uuuuuuuugh stressful.
I need to chill the hell out. I can't continue on with how it's been going b/c the stress is going to do worse things than the fat did to my health.
And a few other agendas for the new year. It's gonna be a good year I think :)
____
Christmas shopping is all done. ALL DONE. The kids are gonna have some good presents :D
We decided at the last minute on black friday to get the kids bikes. Well.. just Oren and Zoe. She's been asking for one and Walmart had good deals on some so we bit the bullet. Oren and Ezra were with us though. Ezra is fine, but Oren still remembers and brings it up every once in a while that he has a new bike and what color it is and what color Zoe's is lol. Thankfully Zoe hasn't caught on to what he's actually saying since his speech isn't great so she think he's talking about the little tricycle things they already have lol.
Santa is bringing the family family games like Hungry Hungry Hippo, Operation and that magnetic fishing one along with just a few other toys and mommy and daddy are getting credit for everything else. MUAHAHAA lol
Anyway....
It's hard to believe that Christmas is less than 2 weeks away now. Man.. these last few months really fly by.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Ramblings
Thanksgiving went well.
I ate everything!!! I wanted to eat more, but we got home late so I didn't get a chance to finish off the delicious sweet potato casserole that I made. It was SO good and so sweet. I gained 4lbs and it's taken a week and a half to get back to where I was lol.
I expected it, but was hoping my body would surprise me and not do this again.
Oh well. It was worth it.
I won't be cheating for Christmas though. I have a new years goal in mind and would very much like to reach it. If I cheated, I wouldn't.
We already bought a rib roast for Christmas and there should be salad and whatnot too. The only thing that will be hard to pass up are fresh baked rolls. Had those on Thanksgiving and holy shit were they good. SO damn good.
Anyway...
Diet is still going strong though. I just jumped right back to keto the next day. I did have to combat that little voice in my head telling me to just cheat a little more. What's one more day? But no. That's a slippery slope to bad habits again and that's not going to happen.
I just have to rant for a second though.
I'm so sick of people ragging on the keto diet. Is it a bit fad-y right now? Absolutely. But lets not pretend that low carb is something new. And seriously.. what's so wrong with it? If you're strict, you're eating whole foods. How is that bad?
So tired of people saying it's not sustainable. Yeah sure, if you have no willpower to stay away from carbs and sugar. But that's why it's not for everyone. Not every diet works for everyone.
Hell... that's why there are names for people who do keto differently.
Lazy for those that only bother to count carbs but nothing else.
Dirty for those that will eat whatever so long as it fits their macros.
And Strict for those that only eat clean whole foods and track what they eat.
There is no one diet for everyone. Keto doesn't work for everyone b/c not everyone can do super strict diets. Just like being vegan isn't for everyone b/c folks don't want to give up meat.
Damn... why is that so difficult for people to understand??
Just b/c YOU don't like a diet or that it didn't work for YOU doesn't mean it's a shit diet.
ANYWAY...
I'm down to 189 this morning. i was 187 yesterday but I ate something that is causing me some bloat. Not sure what, but hope it passes soon.
I would loooooove to be at 180 by the end of the year, but with how erratic my weight loss can be at times and slow going... I'll just be happy with any loss :)
I'm ready to kick 2019's ass though.... at least with losing weight. And by this time next year, I hope to be at my ultimate goal or damn close to it.
I still have 60 more pounds I would like to lose and I WILL get there!!!
Oh and I started off at an 18 and I'm pretty sure I could fit in to 12's now. I'm currently in 14's but they're starting to become loose in the waist. My pooch is still pretty big though which is why I haven't gotten a smaller size just yet.
____
Kids are good. Driving me batshit, but they're good.
Ezra is still a tiny tornado. Total destruction wherever he goes lol.
Oren is also good. I'm working harder on getting him potty trained. Yep.. still not potty trained. He is stubborn as hell and it's my fault too for not being more consistent. I'm doing better with it though.
Zoe is doing great. Little miss attitude lol. She's awesome though. So smart. Also stubborn, but also really sweet and has so much imagination.
I have been SUPER stressed recently though so my yelling has been too much. Doesn't help that I'm doing it alone right now since DH is out of state for work and I haven't been sleeping well.
I still need to check myself though before I go off like I have been. I don't want their memories of me yelling at them all the dang time. I need to do so much better.
DH is doing well too. He's lost 50lbs and looks fantastic. So proud of him.
He's actually had way more cheats than me on this diet. Mostly b/c of his work, but b/c he's a guy, he's lost more. Grrr :P lol
He was so miserable before and it's just so nice seeing him happy in his body again. He's not done yet, but he's well on his way there :)
____
Christmas is fast approaching and we definitely overspent on presents again this year. We're never going to learn rofl.
Oh well.... Just means it's time to donate more of their old shit to make room for the new... shit.
____
Oh and SiL is pregnant again. DH's younger sister. The annoying one.
Seems like this one is a sticky bean too, but she also has that hypersomethingsomething condition again. The one where she has morning sickness constantly.
Sounds like there is a pump for the anti-nausea med now though that she has so I hope it's helping her out.
She also said she's getting that early genetic testing thing done since she's considered advanced maternal age. So everyone should know what she's having soon :)
She's annoying as shit though.
SO fucking dramatic. Like... damn woman. Yeah, morning sickness sucks, but it doesn't give you the right to be a total bitch to everyone, especially your husband. And it doesn't give you the right to pawn off your child to your mother for over a week b/c boohoo, you're sick and you need your husband to focus all of the attention on to you.
UGH she's so.... exhausting to be around. It's like one second, she's a cool person. Funny and witty but then you hang around longer and learn just the kind of person she is when she's not those things.
Overly dramatic. NEEDS all attention on her. I know women joke about their husband's getting the "man flu" or acting like they're going to die when they're sick.... That's HER.
But anyway... I am happy for them and I know the inlaws are thrilled to be getting another grandbaby :)
I just really hope DH's older sister can get and stay pregnant. Sounds like she has no problem getting pregnant, but she keeps miscarrying :( She's a great momma and I know she desperately wants another. She's over 40 though so... not much time to make things happen.
____
Anway, I've written enough for now. Maybe I'll get another post in before the end of the year. Maybe not.
If not... I hope everyone kicks some ass for the rest of 2018 :)
I ate everything!!! I wanted to eat more, but we got home late so I didn't get a chance to finish off the delicious sweet potato casserole that I made. It was SO good and so sweet. I gained 4lbs and it's taken a week and a half to get back to where I was lol.
I expected it, but was hoping my body would surprise me and not do this again.
Oh well. It was worth it.
I won't be cheating for Christmas though. I have a new years goal in mind and would very much like to reach it. If I cheated, I wouldn't.
We already bought a rib roast for Christmas and there should be salad and whatnot too. The only thing that will be hard to pass up are fresh baked rolls. Had those on Thanksgiving and holy shit were they good. SO damn good.
Anyway...
Diet is still going strong though. I just jumped right back to keto the next day. I did have to combat that little voice in my head telling me to just cheat a little more. What's one more day? But no. That's a slippery slope to bad habits again and that's not going to happen.
I just have to rant for a second though.
I'm so sick of people ragging on the keto diet. Is it a bit fad-y right now? Absolutely. But lets not pretend that low carb is something new. And seriously.. what's so wrong with it? If you're strict, you're eating whole foods. How is that bad?
So tired of people saying it's not sustainable. Yeah sure, if you have no willpower to stay away from carbs and sugar. But that's why it's not for everyone. Not every diet works for everyone.
Hell... that's why there are names for people who do keto differently.
Lazy for those that only bother to count carbs but nothing else.
Dirty for those that will eat whatever so long as it fits their macros.
And Strict for those that only eat clean whole foods and track what they eat.
There is no one diet for everyone. Keto doesn't work for everyone b/c not everyone can do super strict diets. Just like being vegan isn't for everyone b/c folks don't want to give up meat.
Damn... why is that so difficult for people to understand??
Just b/c YOU don't like a diet or that it didn't work for YOU doesn't mean it's a shit diet.
ANYWAY...
I'm down to 189 this morning. i was 187 yesterday but I ate something that is causing me some bloat. Not sure what, but hope it passes soon.
I would loooooove to be at 180 by the end of the year, but with how erratic my weight loss can be at times and slow going... I'll just be happy with any loss :)
I'm ready to kick 2019's ass though.... at least with losing weight. And by this time next year, I hope to be at my ultimate goal or damn close to it.
I still have 60 more pounds I would like to lose and I WILL get there!!!
Oh and I started off at an 18 and I'm pretty sure I could fit in to 12's now. I'm currently in 14's but they're starting to become loose in the waist. My pooch is still pretty big though which is why I haven't gotten a smaller size just yet.
____
Kids are good. Driving me batshit, but they're good.
Ezra is still a tiny tornado. Total destruction wherever he goes lol.
Oren is also good. I'm working harder on getting him potty trained. Yep.. still not potty trained. He is stubborn as hell and it's my fault too for not being more consistent. I'm doing better with it though.
Zoe is doing great. Little miss attitude lol. She's awesome though. So smart. Also stubborn, but also really sweet and has so much imagination.
I have been SUPER stressed recently though so my yelling has been too much. Doesn't help that I'm doing it alone right now since DH is out of state for work and I haven't been sleeping well.
I still need to check myself though before I go off like I have been. I don't want their memories of me yelling at them all the dang time. I need to do so much better.
DH is doing well too. He's lost 50lbs and looks fantastic. So proud of him.
He's actually had way more cheats than me on this diet. Mostly b/c of his work, but b/c he's a guy, he's lost more. Grrr :P lol
He was so miserable before and it's just so nice seeing him happy in his body again. He's not done yet, but he's well on his way there :)
____
Christmas is fast approaching and we definitely overspent on presents again this year. We're never going to learn rofl.
Oh well.... Just means it's time to donate more of their old shit to make room for the new... shit.
____
Oh and SiL is pregnant again. DH's younger sister. The annoying one.
Seems like this one is a sticky bean too, but she also has that hypersomethingsomething condition again. The one where she has morning sickness constantly.
Sounds like there is a pump for the anti-nausea med now though that she has so I hope it's helping her out.
She also said she's getting that early genetic testing thing done since she's considered advanced maternal age. So everyone should know what she's having soon :)
She's annoying as shit though.
SO fucking dramatic. Like... damn woman. Yeah, morning sickness sucks, but it doesn't give you the right to be a total bitch to everyone, especially your husband. And it doesn't give you the right to pawn off your child to your mother for over a week b/c boohoo, you're sick and you need your husband to focus all of the attention on to you.
UGH she's so.... exhausting to be around. It's like one second, she's a cool person. Funny and witty but then you hang around longer and learn just the kind of person she is when she's not those things.
Overly dramatic. NEEDS all attention on her. I know women joke about their husband's getting the "man flu" or acting like they're going to die when they're sick.... That's HER.
But anyway... I am happy for them and I know the inlaws are thrilled to be getting another grandbaby :)
I just really hope DH's older sister can get and stay pregnant. Sounds like she has no problem getting pregnant, but she keeps miscarrying :( She's a great momma and I know she desperately wants another. She's over 40 though so... not much time to make things happen.
____
Anway, I've written enough for now. Maybe I'll get another post in before the end of the year. Maybe not.
If not... I hope everyone kicks some ass for the rest of 2018 :)
Friday, November 16, 2018
Happy Early Thanksgiving!!
I know it's not until next week, but this is for just in case I forget to post like I've been doing lately.
Lets see, what has been going on.
It finally got cold here. YAY! And I think losing weight has made me more susceptible to the cold now b/c I was fricking freezing this morning. Sure it was like 30something degrees, but compared to last year, I can definitely tell that there's a difference. Guess that's what happens when you're not carrying around 37 extra pounds.
Yep... down 37lbs in 5 months so far. I wish it was faster, but I'm still happy with how it has been going too. I'm still going very strong too. Never had a moment of wanting to give up and I do not plan on it.
Oh... I'm cheating and eating my weight on Thanksgiving and probably Christmas too, but jumping right back on the diet after. This time next year, I will be at my goal or really damn close. No more looking back and wishing I had stuck with it. I'm going to look back and be proud of what I did and happy with what I see.
With that being said though, I really need to de-stress. Raising 2 toddlers is ROUGH. Good lord I've been so damn stressed b/c well... they're toddlers. I have very little patience and just... I don't like being this way and need to figure out something to get this stress out instead of blowing up at the kids. Hoping that taking up some of the crafting I want to do will help. If not, then I guess I'll try exercise even though I hate it still lol.
Kids are good.
Oren is constantly fighting with Ezra. Hitting and pushing and uuuuuugh. He's good though and still likes to snuggle, but he's quickly losing that little baby/toddler look in favor of a little boy /cry
Ezra is good. Talking so much and slowly coming out of his shell. He's still pretty shy around strangers but so were the other 2. Zoe is about 90% not shy anymore and Oren is about 50/50 depending on his mood.
He is going through a phase of sticking his fingers down his diaper when he has poop. Had to clean up so many poop smeared walls and tables. YUCK.
Zoe is doing well. Great in school for the most part and just a spunky child. Wish she wasn't so picky with her food, but I'm trying to get her out of that... or at least feed her more of the good things that she does like.. like spinach and broccoli.
She's a bit re-obsessed with Robin right now (Batman's sidekick). This age is just fun though. I love and will miss having babies, but having a child that can do things for herself is SO damn nice! rofl
DH and I are good too. I think he's pretty close to his intial weight loss goal. Not sure how much more he'd like to lose once he does reach it. Or if he just wants to get a little more fit.
I still have about 60 more pounds I want to lose. My stomach is stubbornly trying to stick around, but it will eventually go as more weight comes off.
What else... really nothing much going on. Just every day life stuff :)
Lets see, what has been going on.
It finally got cold here. YAY! And I think losing weight has made me more susceptible to the cold now b/c I was fricking freezing this morning. Sure it was like 30something degrees, but compared to last year, I can definitely tell that there's a difference. Guess that's what happens when you're not carrying around 37 extra pounds.
Yep... down 37lbs in 5 months so far. I wish it was faster, but I'm still happy with how it has been going too. I'm still going very strong too. Never had a moment of wanting to give up and I do not plan on it.
Oh... I'm cheating and eating my weight on Thanksgiving and probably Christmas too, but jumping right back on the diet after. This time next year, I will be at my goal or really damn close. No more looking back and wishing I had stuck with it. I'm going to look back and be proud of what I did and happy with what I see.
With that being said though, I really need to de-stress. Raising 2 toddlers is ROUGH. Good lord I've been so damn stressed b/c well... they're toddlers. I have very little patience and just... I don't like being this way and need to figure out something to get this stress out instead of blowing up at the kids. Hoping that taking up some of the crafting I want to do will help. If not, then I guess I'll try exercise even though I hate it still lol.
Kids are good.
Oren is constantly fighting with Ezra. Hitting and pushing and uuuuuugh. He's good though and still likes to snuggle, but he's quickly losing that little baby/toddler look in favor of a little boy /cry
Ezra is good. Talking so much and slowly coming out of his shell. He's still pretty shy around strangers but so were the other 2. Zoe is about 90% not shy anymore and Oren is about 50/50 depending on his mood.
He is going through a phase of sticking his fingers down his diaper when he has poop. Had to clean up so many poop smeared walls and tables. YUCK.
Zoe is doing well. Great in school for the most part and just a spunky child. Wish she wasn't so picky with her food, but I'm trying to get her out of that... or at least feed her more of the good things that she does like.. like spinach and broccoli.
She's a bit re-obsessed with Robin right now (Batman's sidekick). This age is just fun though. I love and will miss having babies, but having a child that can do things for herself is SO damn nice! rofl
DH and I are good too. I think he's pretty close to his intial weight loss goal. Not sure how much more he'd like to lose once he does reach it. Or if he just wants to get a little more fit.
I still have about 60 more pounds I want to lose. My stomach is stubbornly trying to stick around, but it will eventually go as more weight comes off.
What else... really nothing much going on. Just every day life stuff :)
Saturday, November 3, 2018
Oh geeze!
I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted last!
Lets see.... I did have a cheat day finally. DH's friend came down to visit for the week and we spontaneously decided to go to the state fair... so I cheated. I didn't even cheat that bad. I got right back on the diet the next day though. :)
I did gain 3lbs and it has taken my body weeks to get those back off. But meh. I'm good :)
I also plan on cheating on Thanksgiving b/c pfft, I'm not passing up all that good food. And then it will be right back to keto after.
Same for Christmas too.
I've said it before, but I am in this for the long run and life happens sometimes. Sure these cheats may put me back a couple of weeks, but I'm good. They're not going to derail me.
My starting weight was 224 when I started all of this and I'm down to 192 today. It's coming off slow, but it's coming off!
I started off a starting to get tight 18 pants and I'm in 14's... some of those 14's are starting to get loose too. Not loose enough to get smaller size yet but it will get there :)
It's not all rainbows and puppies though. I wish my stomach would flipping disappear already. I still look like I'm pregnant and my stomach still sticks out more than my boobs. So damn frustrating.
I can see a difference in my legs though. Lots of loose skin, but I've lost a lot of weight in them. The size 14 pants I bought recently are skinny fits and they are loose on my thighs. I'm totally an apple shape right now.
DH is also doing great on the diet. He was in the 260's when we started and now he's in the low 220's. So proud of him :)
____
Kids are doing well for the most part.
Zoe had her annual doc appointment yesterday and screamed bloody murder when she had to get a flu shot. Had to get another nurse to come in to hold her down.
Girl is tiny but STRONG when she's in flight mode. Good lord.... that was terrible though.
Then of course a couple hours after, she's like "Oh it didn't even hurt. It wasn't a big deal." Seriously??? B/c I can still hear you shrieking like you were being murdered. Sigh...
Oren is doing well. STILL not potty trained though. My fault b/c I'm not consistent at all. I need to get it together and get him out of pull ups. Maybe I should get Zoe to help me out. He looks up to her SO much. I think if she were to suggest it to him, he may start doing it more willingly.
He's growing up so darn fast though and getting his own little attitude. And he does NOT like sharing with Ezra. I hope they grow out of it and realize that they enjoy playing together.
Ezra is going through his terrible 2's phase and holy shit is it awful. He is a little asshole. Yeah, I said it. He's a little 2yo terrorist. Defiant, tantruming terrorist.
One min he's so loving and cuddly, the next he's screaming and crying b/c we stopped him from playing with his poop again.
Yeah.. he's on that kick now too. He'll poop and then stick his hand down his diaper and smear it all over the wall. SO fricking gross.
Overall though the kids are well. Gross little crying gremlins, but they're good :)
Lets see.... I did have a cheat day finally. DH's friend came down to visit for the week and we spontaneously decided to go to the state fair... so I cheated. I didn't even cheat that bad. I got right back on the diet the next day though. :)
I did gain 3lbs and it has taken my body weeks to get those back off. But meh. I'm good :)
I also plan on cheating on Thanksgiving b/c pfft, I'm not passing up all that good food. And then it will be right back to keto after.
Same for Christmas too.
I've said it before, but I am in this for the long run and life happens sometimes. Sure these cheats may put me back a couple of weeks, but I'm good. They're not going to derail me.
My starting weight was 224 when I started all of this and I'm down to 192 today. It's coming off slow, but it's coming off!
I started off a starting to get tight 18 pants and I'm in 14's... some of those 14's are starting to get loose too. Not loose enough to get smaller size yet but it will get there :)
It's not all rainbows and puppies though. I wish my stomach would flipping disappear already. I still look like I'm pregnant and my stomach still sticks out more than my boobs. So damn frustrating.
I can see a difference in my legs though. Lots of loose skin, but I've lost a lot of weight in them. The size 14 pants I bought recently are skinny fits and they are loose on my thighs. I'm totally an apple shape right now.
DH is also doing great on the diet. He was in the 260's when we started and now he's in the low 220's. So proud of him :)
____
Kids are doing well for the most part.
Zoe had her annual doc appointment yesterday and screamed bloody murder when she had to get a flu shot. Had to get another nurse to come in to hold her down.
Girl is tiny but STRONG when she's in flight mode. Good lord.... that was terrible though.
Then of course a couple hours after, she's like "Oh it didn't even hurt. It wasn't a big deal." Seriously??? B/c I can still hear you shrieking like you were being murdered. Sigh...
Oren is doing well. STILL not potty trained though. My fault b/c I'm not consistent at all. I need to get it together and get him out of pull ups. Maybe I should get Zoe to help me out. He looks up to her SO much. I think if she were to suggest it to him, he may start doing it more willingly.
He's growing up so darn fast though and getting his own little attitude. And he does NOT like sharing with Ezra. I hope they grow out of it and realize that they enjoy playing together.
Ezra is going through his terrible 2's phase and holy shit is it awful. He is a little asshole. Yeah, I said it. He's a little 2yo terrorist. Defiant, tantruming terrorist.
One min he's so loving and cuddly, the next he's screaming and crying b/c we stopped him from playing with his poop again.
Yeah.. he's on that kick now too. He'll poop and then stick his hand down his diaper and smear it all over the wall. SO fricking gross.
Overall though the kids are well. Gross little crying gremlins, but they're good :)
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
HB to me!
Well.. not my birthday yet, but it's tomorrow, so close enough.
I've lost about 24lbs so far and I'm still going strong with the diet. Week 14 and still feeling good. Just never looking back unless it's to see where I've come from and where I never want to go back to again.
I'm kind of in the onederlands right now. 198.6 this morning. But my weight has been going up and down a lot so not sure how long it will last lol.
But I know it will get back down again and then some so long as I stick with it.
Wanted to start exercising too, but that's going to have to wait because aunt flo showed up and I had some really painful bloating at the beginning.
Things are good though.
DH has lost 30something pounds and I can tell he's feeling great about it :)
Kids are doing great too. Boys are in super destructive mode right now which drives me crazy b/c the house is never clean. No wait.. it's clean for like a minute and then they just throw toys everywhere and go crazy.
I wish I had some of that energy.
Zoe is doing well in school. She lied to me today though about getting in trouble. Oh hells no child. She's lucky she didn't get spanked for that. Not tolerating her misbehaving in school and damn sure not going to tolerate her lying to me about it.
Just ugh.. still pissed that she thought she could get away with telling a lie like that. So disappointed.
What else..... Zoe was invited to a birthday party that we went to. Got to talk with the mom a good bit. Big nerds which is cool b/c I'm nerdy as shit too. But they're more modern nerdy while I'm more... "I used to be nerdy and still am but in an awkward way." lol
Like they're really in to anime. Rambling off all the super popular ones while I USED to be in to anime back in the 90's... and not even the super duper popular ones like Cowboy Bebop. I watched ones like... Ranma 1/2 and Slayers and ones like that. I had to pick and choose what I could watch b/c the only way to watch them back then was to buy them. So I had to ya know.. be really choosy.
She's also really in to art and drawing and stuff too. Awesome... again... I USED to do that too, but my brain just can't translate what I want to do on to paper most of the time now.
I felt like such a poser. Like.. oh you like that? Yeah... I uhm.... used to and still kind of do but not like that...............
Just ugh... I felt so awkward.
She was nice though and the kids had a ton of fun.
And yeah... can't say much else has been going on.
That hurricane really didn't do much of anything to us in our area. We just had rain for 2 days. Some wind, but nothing dramatic really. Thankful for that. Thankful that the hurricane weakened as much as it did before it hit the coast. If it had stayed a cat3... there would've been so much more damage and death and we'd probably still be sitting here with no power or it just having been cut back on.
I've lost about 24lbs so far and I'm still going strong with the diet. Week 14 and still feeling good. Just never looking back unless it's to see where I've come from and where I never want to go back to again.
I'm kind of in the onederlands right now. 198.6 this morning. But my weight has been going up and down a lot so not sure how long it will last lol.
But I know it will get back down again and then some so long as I stick with it.
Wanted to start exercising too, but that's going to have to wait because aunt flo showed up and I had some really painful bloating at the beginning.
Things are good though.
DH has lost 30something pounds and I can tell he's feeling great about it :)
Kids are doing great too. Boys are in super destructive mode right now which drives me crazy b/c the house is never clean. No wait.. it's clean for like a minute and then they just throw toys everywhere and go crazy.
I wish I had some of that energy.
Zoe is doing well in school. She lied to me today though about getting in trouble. Oh hells no child. She's lucky she didn't get spanked for that. Not tolerating her misbehaving in school and damn sure not going to tolerate her lying to me about it.
Just ugh.. still pissed that she thought she could get away with telling a lie like that. So disappointed.
What else..... Zoe was invited to a birthday party that we went to. Got to talk with the mom a good bit. Big nerds which is cool b/c I'm nerdy as shit too. But they're more modern nerdy while I'm more... "I used to be nerdy and still am but in an awkward way." lol
Like they're really in to anime. Rambling off all the super popular ones while I USED to be in to anime back in the 90's... and not even the super duper popular ones like Cowboy Bebop. I watched ones like... Ranma 1/2 and Slayers and ones like that. I had to pick and choose what I could watch b/c the only way to watch them back then was to buy them. So I had to ya know.. be really choosy.
She's also really in to art and drawing and stuff too. Awesome... again... I USED to do that too, but my brain just can't translate what I want to do on to paper most of the time now.
I felt like such a poser. Like.. oh you like that? Yeah... I uhm.... used to and still kind of do but not like that...............
Just ugh... I felt so awkward.
She was nice though and the kids had a ton of fun.
And yeah... can't say much else has been going on.
That hurricane really didn't do much of anything to us in our area. We just had rain for 2 days. Some wind, but nothing dramatic really. Thankful for that. Thankful that the hurricane weakened as much as it did before it hit the coast. If it had stayed a cat3... there would've been so much more damage and death and we'd probably still be sitting here with no power or it just having been cut back on.
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
Weight loss
So.. as of today I'm down about 23lbs.
Sitting at 201.4 this morning and it's SO damn frustrating!!! I did see 200.4 the other day and just UGH! Get under 200 already!!! lol
Yesterday I had a new appointment with a new doc. Need a family doc so found something close. Made the appointment like 4 or 5 months ago though.
I don't really like the practice. Extremely busy and sloooooooooooooow. I mean when you go, you expect some waiting, but I sat in the exam room by myself for about 45min total by myself. First time was about 30min waiting to see the doctor.
She came in finally and asked some questions.
I've been having some dull achy chest pains (nothing else associated with it to indicate a heart attack or anything).
She said it was common to get with stress which makes sense for me, but she wanted to do an EKG just to be sure.
So I get undressed and sit there... waiting..... and waiting some more... and 15min or so later, finally here comes the nurse or whatever title she carries with the machine.
Just ugh....
I'm not expecting much, but damn.. at least act friendly? Act like you're not completely burnt out? Something??? And how about have more doctors on hand so wait times aren't so damn long?
Maybe it was just a bad day for them overall. Even though this is a very highly populated area, there are limited doctors here that take our insurance, so I'll stick to this one.
The positives though...
Doctor was totally fine with my diet. I've seen a lot of people rant about their doctor not approving of keto so it was nice to know that this one was ok with it.
Also I weighed 201 on their scale with my clothes on so woot! lol
EKG was totally normal. Showed nothing abnormal going on with my heart and whatnot, so yay for that :)
My blood pressure for a while has been in the 140's over 90's and sometimes even higher for both. Always got "Is it usually this high?" all the damn time at my dentist office and at the medcare place when I've gone.
Yesterday though... it was 122/84!! WOOT!!
Don't anyone try to ever tell me this way of eating is unhealthy because just that right there proves them wrong in my eyes!
I have to go back Friday morning to get blood tests done. I'll report back whenever I get those results.
Hopefully they'll be ok. I know some keto folk see their cholesterol go up for a little while and then it drops back down to healthy levels. Hopefully that won't be my case and it's already at healthy levels lol.
____
Ezra had a little stomach bug yesterday. Throwing up as soon as he got up. He did throw up some time during the night too.
Thankfully by mid day he was over it though and acting normal. A bit more tired, but normal :)
And so far neither of the other 2 have gotten it.
Oren is in destructive mode right now. The boy wants to destroy EVERYTHING he touches and it's so damn tiring. Just caught him ripping pages out of one of Zoe's books. sigh..............
Zoe is little miss attitude right now. Ask her to do something more than once, she'll let out a sigh, roll her eyes and say ok in the most annoyed voice ever lol. It's actually pretty funny, but of course we can't encourage that behavior lol. She turned 6... not 16... where is this attitude coming from?
Ezra and Oren fight a lot now too. Nothing violent or anything, just leaning on one while the other gently tries to push them away. It's the most dramatic, but subtle and gentle fighting ever rofl. With how much Ezra screams and cries though you would think Oren was actually trying to kill him lol.
DH is doing well too. He's lost about 34lbs or so so far. So proud of him :)
I know he wants to start exercising eventually. He just has to find the time to do it and get that motivation to start.
I started today. Said I was going to start after my doc appointment and that's what I'm doing. Starting off about 3x a week and keeping it easy b/c I am totally out of shape. Don't want my body to freak out on me and then me not sticking with it.
Have a feeling that adding in exercise is really going to start helping the belly fat disappear.
Sitting at 201.4 this morning and it's SO damn frustrating!!! I did see 200.4 the other day and just UGH! Get under 200 already!!! lol
Yesterday I had a new appointment with a new doc. Need a family doc so found something close. Made the appointment like 4 or 5 months ago though.
I don't really like the practice. Extremely busy and sloooooooooooooow. I mean when you go, you expect some waiting, but I sat in the exam room by myself for about 45min total by myself. First time was about 30min waiting to see the doctor.
She came in finally and asked some questions.
I've been having some dull achy chest pains (nothing else associated with it to indicate a heart attack or anything).
She said it was common to get with stress which makes sense for me, but she wanted to do an EKG just to be sure.
So I get undressed and sit there... waiting..... and waiting some more... and 15min or so later, finally here comes the nurse or whatever title she carries with the machine.
Just ugh....
I'm not expecting much, but damn.. at least act friendly? Act like you're not completely burnt out? Something??? And how about have more doctors on hand so wait times aren't so damn long?
Maybe it was just a bad day for them overall. Even though this is a very highly populated area, there are limited doctors here that take our insurance, so I'll stick to this one.
The positives though...
Doctor was totally fine with my diet. I've seen a lot of people rant about their doctor not approving of keto so it was nice to know that this one was ok with it.
Also I weighed 201 on their scale with my clothes on so woot! lol
EKG was totally normal. Showed nothing abnormal going on with my heart and whatnot, so yay for that :)
My blood pressure for a while has been in the 140's over 90's and sometimes even higher for both. Always got "Is it usually this high?" all the damn time at my dentist office and at the medcare place when I've gone.
Yesterday though... it was 122/84!! WOOT!!
Don't anyone try to ever tell me this way of eating is unhealthy because just that right there proves them wrong in my eyes!
I have to go back Friday morning to get blood tests done. I'll report back whenever I get those results.
Hopefully they'll be ok. I know some keto folk see their cholesterol go up for a little while and then it drops back down to healthy levels. Hopefully that won't be my case and it's already at healthy levels lol.
____
Ezra had a little stomach bug yesterday. Throwing up as soon as he got up. He did throw up some time during the night too.
Thankfully by mid day he was over it though and acting normal. A bit more tired, but normal :)
And so far neither of the other 2 have gotten it.
Oren is in destructive mode right now. The boy wants to destroy EVERYTHING he touches and it's so damn tiring. Just caught him ripping pages out of one of Zoe's books. sigh..............
Zoe is little miss attitude right now. Ask her to do something more than once, she'll let out a sigh, roll her eyes and say ok in the most annoyed voice ever lol. It's actually pretty funny, but of course we can't encourage that behavior lol. She turned 6... not 16... where is this attitude coming from?
Ezra and Oren fight a lot now too. Nothing violent or anything, just leaning on one while the other gently tries to push them away. It's the most dramatic, but subtle and gentle fighting ever rofl. With how much Ezra screams and cries though you would think Oren was actually trying to kill him lol.
DH is doing well too. He's lost about 34lbs or so so far. So proud of him :)
I know he wants to start exercising eventually. He just has to find the time to do it and get that motivation to start.
I started today. Said I was going to start after my doc appointment and that's what I'm doing. Starting off about 3x a week and keeping it easy b/c I am totally out of shape. Don't want my body to freak out on me and then me not sticking with it.
Have a feeling that adding in exercise is really going to start helping the belly fat disappear.
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
I hate being the bad guy
It comes with being a parent, but damn do I hate being the bad guy sometimes. I hate having to nag nag nag to get them to clean up or do what I've asked/told them to do.
I hate having to punish them b/c it makes me feel so horrible and guilty after. I'm their momma though so... gotta do it.
It sucks though.... it sucks. I'm definitely not a chill parent... at all. I'm not super strict, but I am strict with some things.
Anywho
Zoe's 2nd week of school and she's doing well. Her reading has already improved a lot.
We also transferred her in to the 6yo and up beginner gymnastics class. She had her first class on Monday and she was the smallest one and with the least experience.
The girl has inherited my flexibility.. meaning she's about as flexible as a wooden board. I'm gonna try to work with her at home, but she is VERY resistant to doing it b/c ya know... stretching is uncomfortable. Gotta do it though if she does want to continue with gymnastics. It's just gonna take some time.
Doesn't help that the boys crawl all over us and distract her and uuuugh. Pain in the ass!!!
They're sticking with it though. Do not want them to be like me or DH for that matter and be unhealthy when they grow up. Don't want them to deal with the same health issues that we have.
____
And yeah... things are good. I have a new doc appointment next week and getting a physical. Not looking forward to it, but need a regular doc for all of the non-ob related crap going on.
I hate having to punish them b/c it makes me feel so horrible and guilty after. I'm their momma though so... gotta do it.
It sucks though.... it sucks. I'm definitely not a chill parent... at all. I'm not super strict, but I am strict with some things.
Anywho
Zoe's 2nd week of school and she's doing well. Her reading has already improved a lot.
We also transferred her in to the 6yo and up beginner gymnastics class. She had her first class on Monday and she was the smallest one and with the least experience.
The girl has inherited my flexibility.. meaning she's about as flexible as a wooden board. I'm gonna try to work with her at home, but she is VERY resistant to doing it b/c ya know... stretching is uncomfortable. Gotta do it though if she does want to continue with gymnastics. It's just gonna take some time.
Doesn't help that the boys crawl all over us and distract her and uuuugh. Pain in the ass!!!
They're sticking with it though. Do not want them to be like me or DH for that matter and be unhealthy when they grow up. Don't want them to deal with the same health issues that we have.
____
And yeah... things are good. I have a new doc appointment next week and getting a physical. Not looking forward to it, but need a regular doc for all of the non-ob related crap going on.
Friday, August 24, 2018
She had a great first day
Zoe started school on Wednesday and yep. She's happy so far. So glad she likes school. I hated it b/c I was shy and had no friends and bleh. I'm glad that's not the case for her.
She is shy, but opens up quick and thinks of everyone as her friend. She has her little attitude, but she's such a sweet person and it's really amazing watching her grow and just come in to herself even more. So proud of her :)
What I'm not happy about is waking up so GD early now for the next 9 or however months. Grrr lol. UGH I hate waking early and I am feeling it right now.
I need to go to bed at like 9, but then I'd lose precious adulting time. Such a dilemma :(
Oren has started getting out of his room. Took the child safety thing off a while ago and he's been coming in to our room sometimes. We have a king bed, but it's still crowded with 2 little ones up on it so I sleep with my head at the bottom of the bed and kind of wrap around their feet. It's comfortable enough, but I'd still rather just he stay in his room. Wish Zoe would sleep in her bed already too.
I don't really mind her coming in to our bed, but with the other 2 growing, they're going to want to do it too probably and there just isn't room.
____
I think the neighbor guy hates me lol. He's a big muscular military guy and he probably sees me as some far left liberal that hates military and our country and blahblahblah b/c honestly.. I have the look. I know the stereotypical look that that side has. The funky colored hair. Chubby most of the time etc. I look the part even though that's not what I believe.
SIGH
I only hav myself to blame though. I'm just super awkward and SHY. In my head too damn much and by the time I remember to be friendly.. the moment has passed.
Doesn't help that their child is in the same class as Zoe this year so..just ugh.
Just want to put up a sign with.... I don't hate any of you neighbors! I'm just SHY!!!
____
So.. if I could lose 20lbs every 3 months.. I could potentially be at my goal weight by the time Zoe is out of school. But with how weight is lost so inconsistently most of the time.. pfft. Nope. BUT I'm gonna try my fucking hardest to get there!
Gosh I wish I had been this motivated and whatnot earlier. SO many years wasted. I so regret that, but ya know.. what can you do?
No more time wasted though. I'm doing this now and sticking with it.
Only a few more days in to week 10.... TEN!!! If I can do it for this long, I can go longer and I will get this unhealthy weight gone for good!
She is shy, but opens up quick and thinks of everyone as her friend. She has her little attitude, but she's such a sweet person and it's really amazing watching her grow and just come in to herself even more. So proud of her :)
What I'm not happy about is waking up so GD early now for the next 9 or however months. Grrr lol. UGH I hate waking early and I am feeling it right now.
I need to go to bed at like 9, but then I'd lose precious adulting time. Such a dilemma :(
Oren has started getting out of his room. Took the child safety thing off a while ago and he's been coming in to our room sometimes. We have a king bed, but it's still crowded with 2 little ones up on it so I sleep with my head at the bottom of the bed and kind of wrap around their feet. It's comfortable enough, but I'd still rather just he stay in his room. Wish Zoe would sleep in her bed already too.
I don't really mind her coming in to our bed, but with the other 2 growing, they're going to want to do it too probably and there just isn't room.
____
I think the neighbor guy hates me lol. He's a big muscular military guy and he probably sees me as some far left liberal that hates military and our country and blahblahblah b/c honestly.. I have the look. I know the stereotypical look that that side has. The funky colored hair. Chubby most of the time etc. I look the part even though that's not what I believe.
SIGH
I only hav myself to blame though. I'm just super awkward and SHY. In my head too damn much and by the time I remember to be friendly.. the moment has passed.
Doesn't help that their child is in the same class as Zoe this year so..just ugh.
Just want to put up a sign with.... I don't hate any of you neighbors! I'm just SHY!!!
____
So.. if I could lose 20lbs every 3 months.. I could potentially be at my goal weight by the time Zoe is out of school. But with how weight is lost so inconsistently most of the time.. pfft. Nope. BUT I'm gonna try my fucking hardest to get there!
Gosh I wish I had been this motivated and whatnot earlier. SO many years wasted. I so regret that, but ya know.. what can you do?
No more time wasted though. I'm doing this now and sticking with it.
Only a few more days in to week 10.... TEN!!! If I can do it for this long, I can go longer and I will get this unhealthy weight gone for good!
Friday, August 17, 2018
Dieting and life and other junk
Welp.. things are going pretty good here.
Had to clean up the house b/c termite inspection. You just never really realize how dirty and cluttered your house is until you have guests over. Holy moly this house was filthy. Got it mostly cleaned up and just waiting for the kids to destroy it all again lol.
One big obstacle was getting our clean laundry mountain folded and put away though and I mostly did that by myself in 2 days. Would've been a day task but my back couldn't handle it. Actually didn't take as long as I thought it would. Literally most of our clothes were sitting in a few giant piles in our room. But yeah.. got that folded and put away and.. just... AAAAAHHH so nice not having that on the floor anymore!
____
Met Zoe's 1st grade teacher yesterday. Just a quick, HI! type of thing. New teacher to the school and yep.. she seems really nice. Not as nice as her kindergarten teacher though. That woman was an angel. Seriously one of the sweetest people... or at least came across as one lol.
A lot of the same kids will be in her class. Ones she thought of as friends and the neighbor boy is going to be in her class as well. We don't really know our neighbors. I feel like I just want to write them an awkward not telling them HI and that I'm not an actual bitch or anything b/c I don't wave at them.. I'm just super awkward and social skills are lacking lol.
I hope they don't think we hate them though. We're just shy!
Anyway....
Really love her school. Education in this state is lacking.. seriously lacking, but her school seems to be one of the few good ones around.
Can't believe school is starting back up next week though. Man.. time just flew by!
I remember feeling like school was forever when I was younger and summer break was forever. Now though... school year flew by and the summer was over in the blink of an eye. You really do have to cherish these moments b/c damn are they flying by now.
____
Diet is still going strong! We'll be starting week 10 next week and I am feeling just as good and positive as when I first started.
II'm down to 204 which is a 20lb loss since when I started.
Hoping I'll be in those onderlands soon! Just so happy that something is finally working and that it's not difficult.. at all.
Yes, I still want all of the junk easy foods b/c they're delicious, but I want to be skinnier and healthier more. That junk will always be there. I only have a certain amount of time on this planet and I don't want to waste it away being miserable with my appearance. Already wasted too much time with that.
Anyway, even though there are still cravings, they're not strong cravings. Just a passing "Oh, some donuts/cake/etc sounds really good right now. Why can't those be healthy damnit!" and then that's about it lol.
Thankfully there are plenty of sweet options out there that are ok to have on this diet so it keeps you satisfied.
DH is still going strong too. He's lost almost 30lbs now. So proud of him and I know he's feeling so much better too. Just.. YAY!
If you're struggling, check out the keto diet. It seems intimidating at first, but like most things, it's really not. It's easy to follow. The first couple of weeks might be hard as you battle those cravings, but the reward is SO worth it.
Had to clean up the house b/c termite inspection. You just never really realize how dirty and cluttered your house is until you have guests over. Holy moly this house was filthy. Got it mostly cleaned up and just waiting for the kids to destroy it all again lol.
One big obstacle was getting our clean laundry mountain folded and put away though and I mostly did that by myself in 2 days. Would've been a day task but my back couldn't handle it. Actually didn't take as long as I thought it would. Literally most of our clothes were sitting in a few giant piles in our room. But yeah.. got that folded and put away and.. just... AAAAAHHH so nice not having that on the floor anymore!
____
Met Zoe's 1st grade teacher yesterday. Just a quick, HI! type of thing. New teacher to the school and yep.. she seems really nice. Not as nice as her kindergarten teacher though. That woman was an angel. Seriously one of the sweetest people... or at least came across as one lol.
A lot of the same kids will be in her class. Ones she thought of as friends and the neighbor boy is going to be in her class as well. We don't really know our neighbors. I feel like I just want to write them an awkward not telling them HI and that I'm not an actual bitch or anything b/c I don't wave at them.. I'm just super awkward and social skills are lacking lol.
I hope they don't think we hate them though. We're just shy!
Anyway....
Really love her school. Education in this state is lacking.. seriously lacking, but her school seems to be one of the few good ones around.
Can't believe school is starting back up next week though. Man.. time just flew by!
I remember feeling like school was forever when I was younger and summer break was forever. Now though... school year flew by and the summer was over in the blink of an eye. You really do have to cherish these moments b/c damn are they flying by now.
____
Diet is still going strong! We'll be starting week 10 next week and I am feeling just as good and positive as when I first started.
II'm down to 204 which is a 20lb loss since when I started.
Hoping I'll be in those onderlands soon! Just so happy that something is finally working and that it's not difficult.. at all.
Yes, I still want all of the junk easy foods b/c they're delicious, but I want to be skinnier and healthier more. That junk will always be there. I only have a certain amount of time on this planet and I don't want to waste it away being miserable with my appearance. Already wasted too much time with that.
Anyway, even though there are still cravings, they're not strong cravings. Just a passing "Oh, some donuts/cake/etc sounds really good right now. Why can't those be healthy damnit!" and then that's about it lol.
Thankfully there are plenty of sweet options out there that are ok to have on this diet so it keeps you satisfied.
DH is still going strong too. He's lost almost 30lbs now. So proud of him and I know he's feeling so much better too. Just.. YAY!
If you're struggling, check out the keto diet. It seems intimidating at first, but like most things, it's really not. It's easy to follow. The first couple of weeks might be hard as you battle those cravings, but the reward is SO worth it.
Wednesday, August 1, 2018
Mom FAIL
Yeah.... yesterday was good with no yelling, today? Not so much.
There is only so much mess and whining I can take and my limit was reached very early in the day.
Must. Do. Better
I already put EZ to bed and it's only 6pm. He didn't get a nap today and has been a little terror all day long. Mommy is done. DONE and he needs to go to sleep so I can have at least a few minutes alone. Some peace and fucking quiet!
But yeah.. total fail today. Need to do better though. Even if my patience is gone, I need to at least fake it.
____
Lol, was having a minor pity party for myself earlier.
Saw someone post that they had gone from a size 16/18 to a size 10 in just 2 months. That's it.
And here I am.... started at a size 18 and oh look.. still in an 18. Well.. probably 16 maybe now, but still.
And then other ladies posting their success in 2-3m of eating this way and their giant bellies disappearing.
Why can't that be me too??
I'm eating right. Haven't cheated at all... I wanna start seeing some results! You hear me body! Show me the weight loss!!
There is only so much mess and whining I can take and my limit was reached very early in the day.
Must. Do. Better
I already put EZ to bed and it's only 6pm. He didn't get a nap today and has been a little terror all day long. Mommy is done. DONE and he needs to go to sleep so I can have at least a few minutes alone. Some peace and fucking quiet!
But yeah.. total fail today. Need to do better though. Even if my patience is gone, I need to at least fake it.
____
Lol, was having a minor pity party for myself earlier.
Saw someone post that they had gone from a size 16/18 to a size 10 in just 2 months. That's it.
And here I am.... started at a size 18 and oh look.. still in an 18. Well.. probably 16 maybe now, but still.
And then other ladies posting their success in 2-3m of eating this way and their giant bellies disappearing.
Why can't that be me too??
I'm eating right. Haven't cheated at all... I wanna start seeing some results! You hear me body! Show me the weight loss!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
I need to calm my tits
I've been very yelly lately and I really need to calm my shit down already.
I hate yelling at my kids.. even if they're doing something wrong... I don't want that to be my go to response.
Something else I need to work on and really try to stick with.
____
We're done buying presents for the kids. Damn... buying for a 2yo is hard. You wouldn't think so, but it is. He loves balls, but he already has plenty. We already got him a tablet so there's that at least, but we wanted to get him something else too.
Got him this magnetic fishing thing that I think he'll like... if his siblings don't lose the pieces.
Zoe was SUPER easy to shop for bc she's at that age where she wants everything. I basically just let her pick her own stuff off amazon. Think most of it has come in already. We're not having a party or anything and I think we're just getting them some cupcakes to keep DH and I from cheating.
Anywho... can't believe one is turning 6 and my youngest is going to be 2. Damn... sometimes it feels like time is going by slow, but then you blink and your babies aren't babies any longer.
____
Doing well here.
16lbs down and DH is officially 25lbs down.
WOO us!
He definitely looks like he's lost weight. Me? Not so much. I can sort of tell sometimes, but overall, I still pretty much look the same.
Still have my giant belly, still sporting my giant flabby arms.
It's just kind of sobering to see that even with 16lbs gone... you can't even really tell b/c I have a ton more to lose. Maybe these 16lbs are gone from around my organs and whatnot and what's coming next will be the stuff I can see. I hope so at least :)
Have a physical at the beginning of Sept and would love to be in the onderlands by then. I have about 9-10 more pounds to lose until then. That's a good bit of weight to lose in a month and with how my body likes to lose then gain then lose then gain the same weight over and over.. I dunno if it will happen, but I sure hope so. I may do another egg fast if my weight isn't dropping how I want.
Was thinking about just telling the doctor I'm doing a low carb diet, but I think just being more truthful and saying I'm doing keto would be better. If she's not in to it.. that's her problem and I can find someone else that is more familiar with it and supportive.
____
We're forbidding the kids from spending the night with aunt anymore, but can't tell her why b/c it would only cause problems.
Had to break Oren's heart this past weekend b/c we wouldnt let him spend the night and when asked, DH made up some lame excuse.
It's always been on my mind before, but now.. I have to put my foot down and forbid it.
Aunt has someone in her life that has a sketchy past and I won't risk my kids going over there any longer.
I feel guilty as hell for even letting them over there as much as we did up to this point, but I trusted aunt to protect them. I don't think anything has ever happened, but I just can't put my kids at risk any longer.
I don't want them to come to me down the road and tell me something did happen and ask why I didn't protect them when I knew.
We're going to look like giant assholes when the truth does come out as to why we won't let them over there, but I don't care. My kids come first.. not Aunt's feelings/wants. She chose that person in her life knowing full well their past.... (and she never bothered sharing this info with anyone other than MiL)... she better learn to live with her decision.
I hate yelling at my kids.. even if they're doing something wrong... I don't want that to be my go to response.
Something else I need to work on and really try to stick with.
____
We're done buying presents for the kids. Damn... buying for a 2yo is hard. You wouldn't think so, but it is. He loves balls, but he already has plenty. We already got him a tablet so there's that at least, but we wanted to get him something else too.
Got him this magnetic fishing thing that I think he'll like... if his siblings don't lose the pieces.
Zoe was SUPER easy to shop for bc she's at that age where she wants everything. I basically just let her pick her own stuff off amazon. Think most of it has come in already. We're not having a party or anything and I think we're just getting them some cupcakes to keep DH and I from cheating.
Anywho... can't believe one is turning 6 and my youngest is going to be 2. Damn... sometimes it feels like time is going by slow, but then you blink and your babies aren't babies any longer.
____
Doing well here.
16lbs down and DH is officially 25lbs down.
WOO us!
He definitely looks like he's lost weight. Me? Not so much. I can sort of tell sometimes, but overall, I still pretty much look the same.
Still have my giant belly, still sporting my giant flabby arms.
It's just kind of sobering to see that even with 16lbs gone... you can't even really tell b/c I have a ton more to lose. Maybe these 16lbs are gone from around my organs and whatnot and what's coming next will be the stuff I can see. I hope so at least :)
Have a physical at the beginning of Sept and would love to be in the onderlands by then. I have about 9-10 more pounds to lose until then. That's a good bit of weight to lose in a month and with how my body likes to lose then gain then lose then gain the same weight over and over.. I dunno if it will happen, but I sure hope so. I may do another egg fast if my weight isn't dropping how I want.
Was thinking about just telling the doctor I'm doing a low carb diet, but I think just being more truthful and saying I'm doing keto would be better. If she's not in to it.. that's her problem and I can find someone else that is more familiar with it and supportive.
____
We're forbidding the kids from spending the night with aunt anymore, but can't tell her why b/c it would only cause problems.
Had to break Oren's heart this past weekend b/c we wouldnt let him spend the night and when asked, DH made up some lame excuse.
It's always been on my mind before, but now.. I have to put my foot down and forbid it.
Aunt has someone in her life that has a sketchy past and I won't risk my kids going over there any longer.
I feel guilty as hell for even letting them over there as much as we did up to this point, but I trusted aunt to protect them. I don't think anything has ever happened, but I just can't put my kids at risk any longer.
I don't want them to come to me down the road and tell me something did happen and ask why I didn't protect them when I knew.
We're going to look like giant assholes when the truth does come out as to why we won't let them over there, but I don't care. My kids come first.. not Aunt's feelings/wants. She chose that person in her life knowing full well their past.... (and she never bothered sharing this info with anyone other than MiL)... she better learn to live with her decision.
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