Sunday, April 27, 2014

Broken, but not forever

That's my body.

I know you're not supposed to say that, but it's the truth.
My body is broken.
It doesn't work like it should.

But, I believe it can be fixed. I know it can work. Zoe is my proof :)
I NEED to start taking more action to fixing it though. Meds can only do so much. I need to take charge of my health before it's too late. Too late to have more kids, too late to reverse the insulin resistance.

Trying on clothes yesterday at Kohls just really opened my eyes. On a purely visual stance, my body looks TERRIBLE. I have the body of an extremely unhealthy 60yo woman. Ok maybe not that bad but it's not too far from the truth either.
I need to get a handle on this before it's too late.
I don't think I'm middle aged yet but at this rate, I probably am. Hell, I'm probably just past middle aged. That's a really scary thought.

If god forbid, Zoe has PCOS as well, I want to be a good role model for her. I want to be able to teach her how she can control it. I don't want her to look at me and just see a big pile of failure.

So.... I'm going to start exercising starting next week. DH and I have already agreed that after this concert, we're doing strict again (minus Friday dinner).
I'm also going to take my measurements and I've set an ambitious but reachable IMO goal for myself.

No actual weight goal, but by Christmas... I want to have lost so much that I NEED to buy a new wardrobe for myself. That will be my Xmas present to myself. A healthier me with pretty new clothes ;) lol
Nothing crazy of course, we're not made out of money :P heh

That is 8 months from now. 8 months to kick my ass in to action. Stop being lazy and DO something to help myself.
We're still going to be trying during all of this time and my ultimate goal is to get pregnant before then, but while we're doing that, I'll be getting healthier.

I just can't let myself be like this anymore. I don't want to be Fat Momma anymore. I want to be Formally Fat MILF Momma ;) lol

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